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Zackari21

ace dick fights america

Zackari21
Sep 16th, 2017
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  1. CRI RIGHT NOW opened memo on board APERTURE ARENA.
  2. CURRENT ChanServ [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  3. [#Aperture_Arena] Rules at: https://pastebin.com/cc53Q7sf - Discord Server: https://discord.gg/shRhCGn | Channels: #Aperture_Science_OOC / #Aperture_Laboratories (main) / #Aperture_City (plot & overflow) / #Aperture_Arena
  4. CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  5. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry steps down into the arena; his usual, bizarre stretching routine begins! Popping a multitude of his joints; some that none ever get to. His method allows him to loosen and ready-up every part of his body in a matter of a minute and a half or so. Once this was done, he rose up to his feet. --
  6. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Ace dick follows, standing opposite of PE, doing much of the same. --
  7. CPE: A'ight, since I challenged ya, I'll go first.
  8. CRI: Do your worst.
  9. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] cracks his knuckles --
  10. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry kicked back on the ground as he broke into a sprint right towards the detective! His top speed is 9m/s, extremely impressive for a kid his age; his hair is still black, showing he's really up to something odd. He rushed right on up to Ace and, from his hip, swung a punch out towards him! The intent behind the punch feels solid, as if he's firm on his decision. --
  11. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] and Ace-dick AUTO-pretty much parries by taking the blow in the gut. He just looks up at Barry, a slight amount of pain showing on his face before he swings his own meaty fist forward towards barry's schnozz --
  12. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry leans in towards the punch, turning his head as the fist makes impact to allow him to slip by it without receiving much damage; basically none, even! He took a long step forward and raised his right knee quickly in an attempt to smash it into the detective's chin! If it connects, red, white, and blue lightning will erupt from the point of contact. He could easily shove his knee through a concrete wall with power and --
  13. durability like this.
  14. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] also the feeling of punching his gut is akin to feeling like he's hitting a steel or titanium wall, incredibly hard, incredibly toned, and it probably hurts a bit afterwards. --
  15. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he takes the knee and ends up flipping into the air, landing on his rear a few feet away, he shakes his head a bit before getting up, seemingly undamaged by the attack aside from a few scorch-looking marks from the lightning, he starts running forward, his fists raised as he attempts to deck Barry once more from his short stature --
  16. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] ....by the time he gets to barry he's breathing heavily and seems out of breath --
  17. CRI: h-hold on...g-give me a...
  18. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he wheezes --
  19. CPE: ..Eh?
  20. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry looks down at the dude, raising a brow. "You good? If you don't got endurance, you'll get fucked up against me, bruh." --
  21. CRI: N-no I'm good just give me a moment to catch my breath.
  22. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] He's strong and tough as shit but he doesn't really have a uhh...penchant for more athletic things. --
  23. CPE: ..You sure?
  24. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he's not even half-way to barry. --
  25. CRI: y'know what.
  26. CRI: I don't need running!
  27. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he ramps up LEVEL 99 COMBAT OPERANDI, BELLY OF THE WHALE --
  28. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he opens up his mouth and gives barry the BIG SUCC --
  29. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] not the lewd one so much as he's SUCKING BARRY CLOSER TO HIM --
  30. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry slowly slides forward, he raises his brow even further. He outstretches his right arm and puts his fist out; tightened. --
  31. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he'd roll to the side, using his rather tubby girth to roll quite effectively before swinging another punch at barry, the strongest punch in at least 1 universe --
  32. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry swung his tightened fist downward at the very tip of RI's fist in an attempt to knock it off course! Barry would pivot on his left foot and raise his right leg up to try and slam it into RI's neck; his leg could easily cleave through a wall as if it were the equivalent of a sledgehammer. --
  33. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] you manage to successfully knock his fist off course, it slams into the ground as he's tripped causing a...rather sizable crater in the floor before he's slammed into the ground, again...you've knocked the wind out of him but he doesn't appear to have taken much damage at all. --
  34. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry lowered his leg down afterwards, looking down at the dude. He puts his hands in his pockets and turns to fully face the detective. --
  35. CPE: C'mon man, you're not even budgin' my defenses.
  36. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he just stands up after a moment of catching his breath --
  37. CRI: Hey!
  38. CRI: you're barely hurtin me.
  39. CPE: I'm at my minimum right now! You want me to amp it up?
  40. CRI: Let's do it!
  41. CPE: Alrighty!
  42. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry roars out; his muscles tense up and visibly bulge outward for a moment as if they were trying to contain something. His mass returns to normal and his hair stands on ends; resembling that of jagged, obsidian shards. A soft violet shades cover his hair where shadows should be. Is still lacking any of his original colors. --
  43. CPE: Nobody's around, so this shold be alright.
  44. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] ace dick puts up his fists --
  45. CRI: Let's do it!
  46. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry took a long step forward as if he were doing a lunge; he kicks back off the ground. At first, he didn't move too quickly, but he accelerated awfully damn fast. He was soon reaching over 100m/s then and there. He went to rush ace by tackling him by the waist! --
  47. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] and Ace dick takes his chance, swinging his fist at barry a second before he hits him, using all of his strength to make his fist go as fast as possioble. --
  48. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] The detective's only option would be to hit Barry's head! He, before the fist even came out, ducked his head down so that his tackle could be heavily reinforced by his shoulder, rather than his neck itself. The fist grazes the top of his head in the process! Is the tackle successful? --
  49. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Yes, he takes it in the gut but digs his feet in and is managed to get pushed back a few feet by the strike but he in turn brings both his fists together and swings down onto barry's back/head --
  50. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry's struck in the back! Unfortunately for the detective, Barry's back is the strongest section of his body! The fists meet with the rock-solid muscle; the fibers resist heavily! There's this odd push-force exerting from Barry's body constantly. While Barry's super close to the detective, he swings a punch upward to try and powerfully strike the dude in his chin; a wide-arc'd uppercut with enough force to easily create --
  51. enough air pressure and force to rupture the foundation of a small building. It's like a heavily pressurized bomb exploding suddenly.
  52. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] ace dick is sent flying and flipping into the air by the strike, he'd slam into the ceiling and land with a SMASH nearby...AGAIN he doesn't seem all that damage but barry's attack has at least seemed to bruise him slightly. --
  53. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry's fist and body look entirely unharmed despite the power of his strike! Though, his muscles do spasm for a moment afterwards. His body became twitchy for just a second. --
  54. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] ace dick rubs the underside of his chin slightly before standing up --
  55. CRI: ALright, I ain't holding back either.
  56. CPE: 'Bout time.
  57. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he raises his fist into the air and a harpoon gun appears in it as a giant portal appears in the ceiling, he procs LEVEL 150 COMBAT OPERANDI, CHECK YO'SELF JONAH --
  58. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] a literal fucking whale flies out of the portal as Ace dick fires his harpoon gun, flying up to ride upon his back as he...proceeds to ride the whale right at barry. --
  59. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] what is even happening --
  60. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry quirks a brow; at the end of the day, this bizarre shit ain't new to him. A projectile is a projectile. He pivots on his feet and kicks off to the side, before jumping upward; giving him both upward and sideways momentum to move out of the way of the whale! He jumps awful god damn high, too. He's probably thirty feet in the air from that spring along. --
  61. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] *alone --
  62. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] the whale picks up speed, roaring it's....BATTLE CRY as it tries to slam right into barry with every ounce of it's bulk and power as Ace dick glares into barry's eyes with pure determination. --
  63. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry punches upward, which sends him down towards the ground; he lands with a soft bend in his knees-- extending them to quickly jump out of the whale's next potential path! Projectiles seem pretty damn ineffective on him, whale or not. --
  64. CPE: Idiot! I've gotta travel /much/ less distance than you do!
  65. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] the whale turns around in the air and tries to tail-slap him as ace-dick commands it from atop, holding onto the harpoon lodged into the whale currently --
  66. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Weaves right out of the whale's range so that just the tip of the tail hits him; he high-fives it and allows the momentum to spin him on his foot! He backflips afterwards and lands cleanly. --
  67. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] the whale then tries to straight up belly-flop right on top of barry, it's massive girth falling down at high-speed towards him --
  68. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry bolts off out of the way of the whale's path; with Barry's current speed, and the distance he's keeping, this strategy won't work. It hasn't shown any real chance of working thus-far, either! He stands on the tip of his toes, creating more distance once again. --
  69. CPE: Bruh what is this whale thing you fuckin' got?
  70. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Ace dick decides he requires a new strategy, he begins sliding down the back of the whale, sliding down to the tail before....grabbing onto the whale and proceeding to use it as a club to try and strike barry, because of his IMMENSE STRENGTH it's moving much faster and should be a bit harder to dodge now that he's just...using a living creature like a club. --
  71. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry eyes the whale; that's a big fucking whale. Most people would try and block or outright punch the thing! Barry, however, knows what he's doin'. Not only are whales squishy, but they're big and obvious! He kicks back on the ground with his feet and puts his hands and feet out infront of him; since he's moving in the same path as the whale, he's able to negate some of its over-all effectiveness by going with the --
  72. motion. His hands and feet absorb the force and allow him to be flung instead of struck directly! He glides back and shoots upward; floating and flying like it's no big deal! His body throbs and twitches uncontrollably again; a bit worse this time.
  73. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Ace dick is causing careless destruction with his swinging of the whale around, slamming it into walls and the pews as he keeps trying to hit barry with it, the whale is slowly dying but has accepted it's fate. --
  74. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry is able to continuously duck and weave mid-air around the whale; the whale missing him by inches at a time. He suddenly struck the whale with his knee as it went to pass him once again! Red, white, and blue bolts of lightning crackle from the point of contact! --
  75. CPE: C'mon man, y'ain't hittin' me with that big thing!
  76. CPE: Shit's got so much surface area it's nothin' but an ineffective wreckin' ball! Er, whale.
  77. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he just responds by tossing the whale at barry, making it spin through the air and probably destroying even more of the arena. --
  78. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] He hugged the whale as it was thrown to him! He kicked it and spun backward to essentially mid-air suplex the whale and toss it back! His body twitching and spasming again for a longer duration this time around. --
  79. CPE: Not a scratch on me! Wha the heck made you think a /whale/ would work?
  80. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Ace dick stares at this, seeming to notice the twitching and spasming --
  81. CRI: you alright bub?
  82. CPE: Yeah, just hyped up!
  83. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he'd catch the whale, being pushed back more than a few feet by the impact before he punches it, blasting a hole through the whale and causing a squall of whale guts and gore to fall down upon both of them --
  84. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] there is now a dead whale in the arena. --
  85. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] The guts and gore, noticably, slid off of Barry as if the material was unable to directly touch him, or stay on his body for very long; he's spotless. --
  86. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] meanwhile Ace dick is covered in whale guts, he seems unperturbed by this. --
  87. CPE: That wasn't right, you know.
  88. CPE: Usin' an animal as a weapon.
  89. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he looks around at the destruction he just caused as he thinks about it and he just sighs, suddenly seeming saddened. --
  90. CRI: yeah.
  91. CRI: You're right.
  92. CRI: I got too into the fight.
  93. CRI: Wasn't right what I did.
  94. CRI: I ain't much of a thinker but even I know that you're way too fast.
  95. CRI: and I don't wanna have to pull out my weapon or use my ultimate attack.
  96. CPE: Yer "ultimate attack"? The heck is it?
  97. CRI: Like I said, I don't wanna have to use it.
  98. CRI: I'd probably destroy the rest of this arena.
  99. CPE: Let's go for it, then! Sounds fun!
  100. CRI: Fine.
  101. CRI: Don't say I didn't warn ya
  102. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he raises his fist into the air and through a bond of tubby brotherhood across time and space he summons the spirits FIESTA ACE DICK and ZOMBIE ACE DICK --
  103. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Fiesta Ace dicks lifts up his shirt as the other two do the same, he begins to jiggle his stomach as he dances back and forth, the very vibrations of his dance rippling through the very cosmos itself --
  104. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] and Ace Dick and Zombie Ace dick begin to do the same, the jiggling vibrations synchronizing as they begin to coalesce and combine, surrounding all 3 of them with energy. --
  105. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Deadpans at the sight of this. He looks surprisingly disappointed. Despite how rediciulous this looks, he doesn't get close or even attempt to challenge this attack, he keeps his distance and waits to see how to approach this. --
  106. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] they raise into the air Fiesta Ace dick becoming a pillar of giant red energy as the other two begin to spin and swirl around it, a literal tornado of energy forming from all 3 of them --
  107. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] the tornado then FLIES AT HIGH SPEEDS towards Barry, THis is it, THe TRIPLE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE SCUFFLE --
  108. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry got down low and immediately dashed to the side! Using much more effort this time around; his speed off to the right accelerating up to nearly 200m/s. Once he's hit this speed, he'd begin moving in a circular path around the arena, aiming to keep as far away from this fucking tornado as possible! His body occasionally spasming and throbbing, but now at a much higher frequency. He has not a god damn clue how to --
  109. approach this, so he does his best to /avoid it/.
  110. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] the tornado just becomes larger and larger beginning to suck in parts of the destroyed arena as it continues chasing barry, seeming to get faster and faster as time goes on with this attack, you can almost see the 3 ace-dicks doing the truffle shuffle at lightspeeds inside the attack --
  111. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Does the only fucking logical thing to do for dealing with this attack; as he's pushed by the extreme winds, he allows them to guide him towards the exit! He quickly reached the stairs up to the stands and ran up them, now /somewhat/ safely watching the tornado; his hair lays flat and his breathing is a bit heavy. His body twitching rapidly now. --
  112. CPE: ..The fuck.
  113. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] the two ace dicks then coealesce into a single explosive power, causing a huge explosion of might from all 3 ace dicks, in the light of the explosion, you can almost see the visage of that one fat kid from the goonies --
  114. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] who did the truffle shuffle, yes. --
  115. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Ace dick lands in the middle of the now totaled arena, his compatriots returning to their own realms as ace dick falls to his knees, breathing heavily, it seems his ULTIMATE ATTACK took a lot out of him. --
  116. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Barry sighs in relief once he sees that shit is over. He steps down into the arena again, legs weak and twitchy as he walks over towards Ace. His muscles occasionally throb and spasm; now at a somewhat consistant pace. --
  117. CPE: Dude. What the /fuck/ do you even call that?
  118. CRI: The...
  119. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] wheeze --
  120. CRI: The...
  121. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] Cough --
  122. CRI: The Triple Truffle Shuffle Scuffle.
  123. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Narrows one eye and raises the brow of the other. --
  124. CPE: The 2T2S.
  125. CRI: ....
  126. CRI: That sounds a lot more simple actually.
  127. CPE: Sounds cooler, too!
  128. CPE: You're pretty good, bruh.
  129. CPE: Maybe if you weren't so destructive, we could have you on security!
  130. CRI: I'm more of a Detective and a Muscle Guy more than someone who works security.
  131. CPE: I getcha.
  132. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he sits down for the moment, looking around at the pure destruction he's caused --
  133. CRI: I imagine I might get in trouble for this.
  134. CPE: Hah! They won't know who did it.
  135. CPE: C'mon, let's sneak the fuggoutta here.
  136. CRI: I'm not that kinda guy but...
  137. CRI: alright
  138. CRI: what's your name kid?
  139. CPE: Name's Barry!
  140. CPE: What's yers, again?
  141. CRI: I'm Dick.
  142. CRI: Ace Dick.
  143. CPE: Ace! Good fightin' ya!
  144. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] Extends his hand for a handshake. --
  145. -- CURRENT patrioticEruption [CPE] His hand is noticably jittery + freaking the fuck out. --
  146. -- CURRENT roughhouseInvestigator [CRI] he shakes it, he has a good firm handshake --
  147. CRI: Shall we get out of here then
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