Doki-Doki Alternative: Act 1

As I begrudgingly crawled out of bed in preparation of another day of the usual grind, a maddening sense of unease crashed against my body like a damn truck against some anime character. I used this analogy over literally anything else, because when I held up my hand against my head in my daze, I noticed what was off immediately. Beyond the fact that I woke up in a different bed in a room I never set foot in, what struck me first was my hand. I knew the back my hand just as well as the idiom, and this certainly wasn’t mine. My hand, just like any other hand, had creases, veins and a myriad of other minute details and slight imperfections. Because just like any other human being, I wasn’t made perfect. Not anymore. Now, a thin outline ran across its contours, and only the barest details remain, as if I was a flat drawing.

When I took a good look of myself in the bathroom mirror that I had to look for a good minute before finding it, there were only two possibilities remaining. Since a few pinches and slaps to the face did me no good, I knew I probably wasn’t dreaming a ridiculous dream. Thus, leaving me with only one possibility left: That for one reason or another, I’m now a character in some kind of anime, or a Japanese-styled game. I certainly felt like I should be bothered by this, but quite frankly, I couldn’t be happier. But given the target audience for this kind of thing, did that really come as a surprise?

Jogging my hazy memory, I remembered the last game I finished -- A quirky visual novel called “Doki Doki Literature Club” that disguised itself as simple dating sim before pulling off its bait-and-switch meta-horror twist. It was a game that I absolutely adored, with a cast of girls with smiles that I, along with hordes of anons, lamented that we couldn’t protect. But for the sake of these anons lost in despair, and for these girls in need of a faceless MC to save them, I set off to do what no anon or generic self-insert could do in this fake, yet endearing world of theirs.

Let me get it out of the way now: I’m an utterly shameless Monikafag. In hindsight, this makes things all the easier for both myself, and for the girls. So long as I can continue to flip the bid against the sadistic bastard who wrote this game and carve out my own True End, I can have it all. As I fully intend to make Monika happy, it means that at the very least, the other girls would all be safe. Of course, I certainly wouldn’t leave them to their current situation either. For all the Natsukifags, Yurifags, and Sayorifags in the world, I’ll make sure to do them a solid and help them through their issues as well. Can I really call myself a proper VN protagonist of a sappy romance story if I don’t leave everyone happy and content at the end? Certainly not. So step aside, you poorly-written means of self-insertion to fulfill a Smash player’s schadenfreude. Anon is here, and he’s going to make everything right if that’s the last thing he does.

Sayori is going to come up to me and greet me after waking up late with a slice of toast in her mouth. As it goes, the MC would’ve not been too thrilled to wait for Sayori, because that’s what MCs do to their clumsy childhood friend. Not me. I wait for her outside her house, and I make sure to greet her the moment she comes out her door. But more than anything, this is a test to see how much the game would allow myself to escape the railroading. With any luck, everything should turn out okay. Fingers crossed!

“Huwaa- Heeh? Anon? Is that really you? You actually waited for me this time? Right in front of my house, too! Who are you, and what did you do to my Anon? Aha. I… I don’t even remember the last time you did that! I’m so happy I got out of bed today!”

My heart felt heavy. Clear as day, I recall the time I saw Sayori lifeless body hang from a noose. To try and suppress that image burned into my retinas, I forced myself to smile and laid my hand on top of Sayori’s head. Hair shouldn’t be this soft, and patting someone shouldn’t feel this good. But hey, I’m not complaining. “Oh, come on now. I grew up with you since we were kids, didn’t I? You’re someone I’d like to keep around until I kick the bucket.”

With a more nuanced tone of voice, I continued. “Which will be a long, long time from now. So, while we’re both living next to each other, let’s keep walking to school together. So next time you feel like you don’t wanna get up from bed, know that you’d be keeping me waiting right outside your door and late to class as well, okay?”

I could see her eyes widen a little, before her lips curled into a goofy, yet genuine smile. Every word I said, I meant. And of course, implying that I’d want her to be with me until the very end was completely intentional too. Don’t you dare die on me this time, Sayori. You’re too good of a girl for that.

With a face blushed red in embarrassment, whether in what I just said, or by the fact that I’ve been petting her this entire time, Sayori was barely able to formulate her words into sentences. “Ah… Oh gosh, Anon, I… I’m really, really happy to know, um… If you want, of course… I’d be glad to. Mhm..! Yeah! If it makes you happy, then it makes me happy. It’s decided, then~ We’ll walk to class together from now on. And, if I don’t wake up on time, I’ll even let you wake me up personally! The last thing I want is for you to be late because of me, after all.”

With her eyes darting around, Sayori perked up some when she remembered what she wanted to tell me. I was almost worried that she would forget to ask me. “And since I don’t want you to turn up as a lonely NEET in a couple of years with no real life experience, how about we join a club together?

I mercifully retracted my hand from Sayori’s head. “Oh, sure. What club did you want to join, Sayori? I’ve been planning to check out the Literature Club myself.”

Sayori instantly perked up again. I knew she would’ve. Honestly, it’s really cute when it happens.

“Uwaah! Anon, you’re just teasing me now! Who told you I was part of the Literature Club, huh? If you’re just doing it for me, then you really don’t have to! I’ll be happy with whatever club you want to join, so pick something you really like, okay?”

I shook my head, and patted hers again. “Did I really not seem the reading type? Ah, well… If you insist, I guess I guess I’ll just skip out on joining a club after all…”

“Mou, Anon! That’s not fair!”

“So, the Literature Club it is, then?”

“The Literature Club it is… You big meanie~”

“Introduce me to the club members, yeah? I’d like to be good friends with everyone.”

“Mhm! I will~”

With a satisfied sigh at the sight of a genuinely happy Sayori and the prospect of a better future for the Literature Club, I walked side by side with my supposed childhood friend to school, with bright smiles on both our faces.

Each class came and went like a breeze. This is just highschool, after all. But I can’t honestly say that I wasn’t a little bit anxious. Rather, I’ve never felt this anxious in my entire life. Jesus Christ, I felt like my heart could thump out of my ribcage, it was beating so hard. I tried to chat up a couple of my classmates, to see just how ‘human’ they really are. Those I interacted with seemed just barely human enough, while those I didn’t were more akin to decorations than actual people. No wonder Monika thought this world seemed grayer by the passing minute.

This time around, Sayori didn’t even need to bribe me with a cupcake. Following close behind, I soon arrived at the door. And for the first time since waking up in this world, I came face to face with the rest of the cast.

“Welcome to the Literature Club. It’s a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says nice things about you.” Greeted the soft-spoken Yuri.

“Seriously? You brought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere.” Remarked the bratty Natsuki.

“Ah, Anon! What a nice surprise!” Proclaimed the perfect Monika who did absolutely nothing wrong, in the way of Griffith or Homucifer: By which I mean she most definitely did do some things wrong, but for entirely understandable reasons given the situation she found herself in.

 I think what I'm trying to say is that I've forgiven her, because in her shoes, I probably would've done the same.

I knew who they are were, and I was more than familiar with what troubles they each dealt with under those unassuming expressions. But nevertheless, I greeted them all earnestly.

Rather than the dense, air-headed MC I had the displeasure of controlling, I felt like I did a better job of coming across as someone’s who’s at least a little bit more interested in literature. I’m no avid reader by any means, but since the bar set by the MC was so low, giving off a better first impression wasn’t all that hard. By the end of the day, after internally giggling to myself like an idiot upon hearing Monika’s various catchphrases, I put myself to work. Yuri was glad that she could find someone who loved the macabre as much as she was, given the reason I even considered playing this game in the first place was because I was an edgelord who loved gore and horror. Even Natsuki managed to open up to me a little from the fact that I was a fellow weeb like her. But since this is really supposed to be set in pseudo-Japan, does that make us otaku instead? Regardless, I managed to put smiles on both Yuri and Natsuki, and that’s all that mattered to me.

But that leaves me with Monika to take care of.

Just Monika.

I left the other girls to each other, and gave Monika the thing I knew she yearned for: My undivided attention.

“Hey, Monika.”

“Yes, Anon? Is there anything I can help you with?”

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath of air. Clenching my hands into tight fists, I mustered up the will to say what I intended to say since the moment I realized I was finally given the chance to fix it all.

“I know this might sound a bit out of left field, but there’s something I wanted you to know, Monika. Something really important.”

I paused to collect my thoughts, to think up just how to properly put my thoughts and feelings into words.

“I don’t care what role ‘he’ intended you to have this cruel game of his. If you’re not too busy, how about we go somewhere together after school? Just the two of us. There’s something I’d like to talk to you about in private. But I think you already know what I’m going to say, don’t you? The very fact that I’m willing and able to say what I just said.”

She was silent. But in her silence, I could see a slight smile. It was the smile of someone who finally found what she was looking for.

“Aha… Anon, I… ”

Monika looked like she was about to cry. I can’t possibly bear the sight of that, so I followed my instincts as a man, and gently patted my hand over the crown of her head before she did.

“This living, breathing person, as real as he could be with his terribly realistic personality with the girl who’s just as real as he is, promise you that everything will be okay from now on. So, how does that nice, quiet cafe downtown sound, Monika?”

“…It sounds absolutely wonderful, Anon.”

And just like that, the very first flag of the True End was cleared.