Smalltown Maids 13

[21:59]	<GMOwen>	Intro: The town of Small was brought back from the depths of the inactive grey abyss. And there was much rejoicing.
[21:59]	<GMOwen>	Intro: Some days into the future, our good friends are hanging out at a community park that is vacant save for themselves. Josh might have to do some kind of nature report or something, but that’s just an excuse for him to make excuses. Method-act now, okay?
[22:00]	* [Owen]Josh	looks at trees with a clipboard in hand. He makes some notes.
[22:01]	* [huh]Yukiko	is in that tree.
[22:01]	<[Owen]Josh>	"If a tree falls in the park with a ninja in it, and the only person who hears the tree fall is lame, does the ninja make a sound?"
[22:02]	<Luize>	Only if the ninja isn't a clutz
[22:02]	* [Rut]Eri	looks around anxiously.
[22:02]	<[Rut]Eri>	Uh... where is it...
[22:03]	* [Owen]Josh	assesses Eri's sobriety.
[22:03]	<[Rut]Eri>	[There's very little to compare it against.]
[22:04]	<[huh]Yukiko>	Master Josh, why are we out here again?
[22:04]	* [huh]Yukiko	hangs upside-down for a change of pace.
[22:05]	<[Rut]Eri>	There it is!!
[22:05]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Ahh, boring assignment and stuff. I'm supposed to find enlightenment in the park and write what I feel."
[22:05]	<[Owen]Josh>	"I'll just make it up, probably."
[22:05]	* [Rut]Eri	points at a park bench excitedly.
[22:06]	* [Owen]Josh	looks at the bench.
[22:06]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Sir, you must work diligently at your studies!"
[22:06]	<Luize>	What enlightenment...
[22:06]	* [Owen]Josh	tries to be enlightened by the bench.
[22:07]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Hmm. My clan used certain herbs and medicines to reach an enlightened state... Woyld you like to try that?"
[22:08]	* [Rut]Eri	clambers over and lays down on it.
[22:08]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Not literal enlightenment, Yuki."
[22:08]	<[Owen]Josh>	"I'm just supposed to... find meaning in things, I guess."
[22:08]	<[Rut]Eri>	Huh? Nah, this is my old house~
[22:08]	* Sensei-Orange	giggles.
[22:08]	<--|	Sensei-Orange has left #MaidRPG
[22:08]	<Luize>	[Go die in a fire Sensei.]
[22:08]	<[Owen]Josh>	[GM: A fire of LOVE?!]
[22:08]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Old hou- Master, please distance yourself. She may have something."
[22:09]	* [Rut]Eri	spots a newspaper off to the side and bundles herself in it like a blanket.
[22:09]	* [Owen]Josh	watches Eri. Her old house... it saddens him.
[22:10]	* [Owen]Josh	walks over to Eri's feet and sits down on the ground next to her.
[22:10]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Really...? This was your home?"
[22:10]	* [Rut]Eri	swigs some beer. She apparently has the fastest draw in the west, as she wasn't holding it a second ago.
[22:11]	<[Rut]Eri>	... Eh? Whadda ya want? My land!? Git' offa mah propertah! Haha~
[22:11]	<[Rut]Eri>	Just kidding~
[22:12]	<Luize>	My Property now.
[22:12]	* Luize	hugs the ground.
[22:12]	<[Rut]Eri>	No wayyyy~!
[22:12]	* [Owen]Josh	makes some notes on his clipboard.
[22:13]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Anything I might assist with?"
[22:13]	* [Rut]Eri	thrusts her hand out in front of Josh's face in response.
[22:13]	<[Rut]Eri>	I don't wanna sign your petition neither! No solicitors!
[22:14]	* [Rut]Eri	grins and sticks her tongue out.
[22:14]	* [Owen]Josh	looks at the hand. It smells like beer and wine, which should never, ever, be mixed.
[22:14]	* [Owen]Josh	talks to the hand.
[22:14]	<[Owen]Josh>	"But it's for a good cause; the Help-Josh-Get-A-Four-Point Association!"
[22:15]	<Luize>	I understand resorting to your hands at night sir..
[22:15]	<Luize>	But.. not during the day.. please?
[22:15]	* [Owen]Josh	eyeballs Luize but doesn't actually look at her. He then smacks his face into the clipboard.
[22:15]	<[Rut]Eri>	Four point?
[22:16]	<[Owen]Josh>	"...means a really good grade, Err."
[22:16]	* [Owen]Josh	says from the clipboard.
[22:16]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Fourteen-year-olds shouldn't know about that kind of stuff, Luize."
[22:17]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Bloody Uncle Joe..."
[22:17]	<[Rut]Eri>	Yeah, they ought to be out, y'know, bein' fourteen!
[22:17]	* Luize	smirks.
[22:17]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"I quite agree."
[22:18]	<[Rut]Eri>	Getting into yer first car accident! Bein' caught in the athletic office with some guy from the next town over! Loitering!
[22:18]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"...No, I don't think those are the kinds of things she should be doing, either.
[22:19]	<[Owen]Josh>	"I quite agree."
[22:19]	<[Owen]Josh>	"I blame the Internet and poor parenting."
[22:19]	<Luize>	I agree that I should be a fourteen year old and get caught with an older guy~
[22:19]	<[Rut]Eri>	Whuaaa~? But that's what yer supposed to do~
[22:20]	* Luize	has a deliciously evil grin.
[22:20]	<[Rut]Eri>	I did, and look at me! Uh, wait... bad example~
[22:20]	<[Rut]Eri>	Ahahaha *hicup*...
[22:21]	* [huh]Yukiko	sighs.
[22:21]	* [Owen]Josh	smacks face to clipboard again and then lamely waves it at Luize too.
[22:21]	<[Owen]Josh>	"You..."
[22:21]	<Luize>	Kyah....
[22:21]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Please don't encourage her. It's the last thing she needs."
[22:22]	<[Owen]Josh>	"One day... One day I'll be a good minister and know how to deal with these kinds of situations."
[22:22]	* [huh]Yukiko	is, by the way, still hidden in the tree above.
[22:22]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Teach the younger generation the right way."
[22:23]	<Luize>	Alright alright.. I'll "act" like a real teenager then...
[22:23]	* [Owen]Josh	winces. Not good, please don't, please don't....
[22:23]	* Luize	clings on to Josh.
[22:23]	<Luize>	Daddy~
[22:24]	* [Owen]Josh	gives up and plays along.
[22:24]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Yes, sweetheart?"
[22:24]	<Luize>	I want a prada bag!~ So I can blend in with all my superficial friends who like my new bag more than me~
[22:25]	* [Rut]Eri	rolls over, further wrapping herself in her bargain-bin "covers".
[22:25]	<[Rut]Eri>	... mmwanna pony...
[22:26]	* [Owen]Josh	sighs.
[22:26]	<[Owen]Josh>	"How much does a new prada bag cost, sweetie?"
[22:27]	<Luize>	About $3,500~
[22:27]	<[Rut]Eri>	But the devil wears that! Some minishter you are...
[22:27]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Honey... some people's CARS cost less than that. Don't you think that's a little strange?"
[22:27]	<Luize>	B-but...
[22:28]	* Luize	begs Josh with an adorable face.
[22:28]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Lui... Lui, listen. I love you. I want you to have nice things and I want you to be happy, too!"
[22:29]	<[Owen]Josh>	"But would such an expensive bag REALLY make you happy?"
[22:29]	<[Rut]Eri>	It'd make ya THA' DEVIL!
[22:29]	* [Rut]Eri	points accusingly.
[22:29]	<[Rut]Eri>	Shun~!
[22:29]	<Luize>	I am a little demon after all~
[22:29]	* Luize	giggles.
[22:29]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"So, if she's the daughter, then who's the mother?"
[22:29]	* [Rut]Eri	is pointing at a tree.
[22:30]	<[Rut]Eri>	... huh?
[22:30]	<[Owen]Josh>	"We're playing house now?"
[22:30]	* [Owen]Josh	seems to have missed a step.
[22:31]	<Luize>	Yuki is the momma~
[22:31]	* Luize	snuggles up to Josh's arm.
[22:31]	* [Owen]Josh	looks at Yuki.
[22:31]	* [huh]Yukiko	looks at Josh.
[22:31]	* [Owen]Josh	points to Luize while looking at Yuki.
[22:33]	* [huh]Yukiko	cocks an eyebrow.
[22:33]	<[Rut]Eri>	Guess that makes me the landlady, huh?
[22:33]	* [Rut]Eri	takes a swig.
[22:33]	<Luize>	A drunken one..
[22:33]	* Luize	glares back.
[22:34]	* [huh]Yukiko	pats Luize's head.
[22:34]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Good girl..."
[22:34]	<Luize>	Wah... S-stooop Momma....that's cruel..
[22:34]	* Luize	:T
[22:35]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Ah?"
[22:35]	* [huh]Yukiko	looks confused at what she did wrong.
[22:36]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Ahh, dear... Our little girl's thinking she's getting too old for us, I think."
[22:36]	* [Rut]Eri	hits Luize in the head with a balled-up page of newspaper.
[22:36]	<Luize>	I-I'm not a little girl anymore!
[22:36]	<[Rut]Eri>	'ey! Rent!
[22:36]	* Luize	lets out a cute yelp.
[22:36]	<[Rut]Eri>	Ahahaha~
[22:37]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Miss, please, give us more time..."
[22:37]	<[Owen]Josh>	"No no, dear, I took care of it. The check is in the mail."
[22:37]	* [huh]Yukiko	inclines her head to Eri.
[22:37]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"We are but a humble family, and hard times are upon us..."
[22:37]	<[Rut]Eri>	No way~ Di'ntcha know? Landladies are the worst~
[22:37]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Oh? There you have it, then."
[22:38]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Aren't you glad?"
[22:38]	<[Rut]Eri>	What? Nooooo!
[22:38]	* [huh]Yukiko	rubs Luize's head again.
[22:38]	* [Rut]Eri	does her best Power Rangers bad guy impression.
[22:38]	<[Rut]Eri>	You win this time! Grrr! Heehee~
[22:39]	<Luize>	S-stop that...
[22:39]	* [Owen]Josh	shakes his head. As reserved a husband as he is, that woman needs to get laid.
[22:39]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Awww, but no matter how you grow up, you'll be my little Luize~"
[22:41]	<Luize>	Gyah! Stop!
[22:41]	* Luize	struggles.
[22:42]	* [huh]Yukiko	pulls Luize into a tight hug.
[22:42]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"No~"
[22:43]	<Luize>	N-ninja's don't hug!
[22:44]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Dear, our child has reached that rebellious age..."
[22:44]	* [huh]Yukiko	releases Luize.
[22:45]	<[Owen]Josh>	"It comes sooner or later, dear. Better to accept it and treat her like an adult than to deny it."
[22:46]	* [Owen]Josh	sighs. What enlightenment he has found in this park.
[22:46]	* Luize	sighs and says.
[22:46]	<Luize>	What a Wonderful World isn't it?
[22:47]	<[Owen]Josh>	[GM: Dohohoho! Katherine would be :| at that!]
[22:47]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"I rather like it."
[22:48]	* [Rut]Eri	's bottle strikes Luize on the head.
[22:48]	<[Rut]Eri>	Oops~
[22:48]	<Luize>	Ooowww..
[22:48]	* Luize	rubs her head in a cute manner.
[22:49]	<[Rut]Eri>	Eh... I'm gonna need that back, but... ah, ferget it.
[22:49]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Aww, does it hurt?"
[22:50]	* [huh]Yukiko	kisses Luize on the bump.
[22:50]	* [Owen]Josh	stands up and sits on the bench next to Eri. Yuki needs some mothering practice.
[22:50]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Hey Eri. Mind if I sit?"
[22:52]	* Luize	sprawls all over the ground, feet and arm spreaded out.
[22:53]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"...Luize, your father has abandoned us."
[22:53]	* [huh]Yukiko	feigns tears.
[22:53]	* Luize	sobs.
[22:54]	<Luize>	W-why.. momma..
[22:54]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"He... He's found another woman."
[22:55]	<[Rut]Eri>	...Mmm? Eh, okay?
[22:55]	* [Rut]Eri	sits up to make room.
[22:56]	* [Owen]Josh	ignores the tension at "home". He's here to work on the paper, after all.
[22:57]	<[Owen]Josh>	"I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I'm just..."
[22:57]	* [Owen]Josh	tries to be tactful.
[22:57]	<[Owen]Josh>	"The bench here just got me thinking... what's it like? I mean, not having a home."
[22:58]	<[Rut]Eri>	Hehe, shows what you know.
[22:58]	* Luize	looks up to Yukiko with a misty-eye face.
[22:58]	<[Rut]Eri>	This was only my home a few times~
[22:58]	* [Rut]Eri	waggles a finger.
[22:59]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"My Luize, what should we do?"
[22:59]	<Luize>	Oo-ooh... uhm..
[22:59]	* Luize	thinks about it..
[23:00]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Well, but... besides this place. I mean, what's it like, just... wandering?"
[23:00]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Not having a place to call yours?"
[23:06]	* [Rut]Eri	scratches her head. Is one of them not making a lot of sense?
[23:06]	<Luize>	Yuki...
[23:06]	<Luize>	W-what is.. daddy talking about?
[23:07]	* [Owen]Josh	shakes his head.
[23:07]	<[Rut]Eri>	Hrm... well, uh, whadda ya mean?
[23:07]	<[Owen]Josh>	"No, no girls, I'm actually talking to Eri right now. For the report, yeah?"
[23:07]	* [Owen]Josh	taps the clipboard.
[23:07]	<[Rut]Eri>	Like normal, I guess?
[23:07]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"He's planning on running away with that lady, dear."
[23:07]	* [Owen]Josh	rolls his eyes. Just ignore it, its not real.
[23:07]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"He says that they don't need a home, as long as he's with her."
[23:08]	* [Owen]Josh	goes back to Eri.
[23:08]	<[Rut]Eri>	Huh? Really~?
[23:08]	* [Rut]Eri	is listening to Yukiko. Oh God.
[23:09]	<Luize>	Ah...
[23:09]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Well, but... what IS normal? I mean, most people have a house, a bed, a kitchen, more than one pair of clothes..."
[23:09]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Don't you care that you don't have any of that?"
[23:10]	<[Rut]Eri>	Nah~ 'cuz now I got you! Yuki said so!
[23:10]	* [Rut]Eri	hugs Josh. She smells... yeah.
[23:11]	* [Owen]Josh	is hugged. Gah, stale beer... and, yeah.
[23:11]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"You! Hands off him!"
[23:12]	* [huh]Yukiko	stands!
[23:12]	* [Owen]Josh	is thinking up thesis' statements for his paper already... "Those without a home have no home to miss"...
[23:12]	<[Rut]Eri>	Don't wanna~ He's my "stable center" now~!
[23:12]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"I don't know what tricks you used to lure him in, but he's still my husband!"
[23:13]	* [Owen]Josh	brought this upon himself... brilliant.
[23:13]	<[Rut]Eri>	Yeah, well nuts to you! We deserve a chance to be happy! So MEH!
[23:13]	<Luize>	M-momma..
[23:13]	<Luize>	W-what's wrong...
[23:13]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"What of this child's happiness?"
[23:14]	* [K]Mirai	just watch from afar, giggling like crazy while hiding under her parasol.
[23:14]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Have you given no thought to the father she deserves?"
[23:14]	<[Rut]Eri>	What of it~? Looks fine to me!
[23:15]	* [Rut]Eri	shifts behind Josh smugly, looking over his shoulder at the two.
[23:15]	* [K]Mirai	is now clutching her tummy gasping for air. Laughing too much can be painful.
[23:16]	<[Rut]Eri>	You're just holdin' 'em back! Who can blame him for wanting to escape~
[23:17]	* [Rut]Eri	's words... something's off about them. Like they have a double meaning.
[23:17]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"How dare you!"
[23:17]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"I-I've tried to be a good wife!"
[23:17]	* [Owen]Josh	is completely lost now.
[23:18]	* [K]Mirai	feel like busting through their little game declaring herself as an ex-girlfriend, but let's see how this little escapade goes.
[23:19]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Dear! What was wrong with me? Where did you find me lacking?!"
[23:19]	* [huh]Yukiko	looks pleading.
[23:19]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Here?!"
[23:19]	* [huh]Yukiko	slaps a hand to her chest.
[23:19]	<[Rut]Eri>	Ooh~ how quaint~ and stuff.
[23:20]	* Luize	giggles under her crying demeanor.
[23:20]	<[Rut]Eri>	You don't even know~
[23:20]	* [Owen]Josh	just shakes his head and covers his face. Don't get involved... don't get involved... she'll find fault with whatever you say...
[23:20]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Quiet, harlot!"
[23:20]	<[Rut]Eri>	But that's okay. I know how to make a man happy...
[23:21]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Gh-"
[23:21]	* [Rut]Eri	leans in cheek-to-cheek with Josh, keeping a snide look fixed on Yukiko.
[23:21]	* [K]Mirai	can't suppress it anymore. she's now rolling on the floor laughing.
[23:21]	* Luize	is just watches, clearly amused now.
[23:21]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Witch! Thieving witch!"
[23:22]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"At least there's more to me than my body!"
[23:22]	* [Rut]Eri	's breath is like roadkill in the spring breeze~ With a hint of rat poison.
[23:23]	<[Rut]Eri>	Nothing to it indeed~
[23:23]	* [Owen]Josh	coughs. He bears it as long as possible for her sake; she seems to be enjoying this.
[23:23]	<[Rut]Eri>	Men wanna have fun, ya know~?
[23:24]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"E-Even I... If he wished... Even I could find ways to please him!"
[23:25]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Please, Dear, come back to us!"
[23:25]	* [huh]Yukiko	takes Josh's hand.
[23:25]	* [Owen]Josh	is silently gasping for air that isn't putrid. He can't stand this much longer...
[23:25]	<[Rut]Eri>	And ya never asked, didja!? Didn't care~ While every day, he wakes up, listens to your nagging, eats breakfast, listens to your nagging, goes to work comes home, %bmore nagging~
[23:26]	<[Rut]Eri>	[=-= bold fail.]
[23:26]	<[Owen]Josh>	[GM: Boldface doesn't show up on the logs. Just use ALL CAPS.]
[23:26]	<[Rut]Eri>	[But that's pretentious. I don't care about the logs anyway. The moment itself is superior.]
[23:27]	<[Owen]Josh>	[GM: Point. Continue.]
[23:27]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"I never meant to! I... I didn't know that it was that painful for him! He never- he never spoke a word."
[23:27]	* [Rut]Eri	's arm wraps around Josh's shoulders to bring a can of beer to her own lips.
[23:28]	<[Rut]Eri>	*gulp* Yeah, well, ya know what your problem-- oops.
[23:28]	* Luize	drags Mirai next to herself and offers snacks.
[23:29]	* [Rut]Eri	brings the can around for another pass, but it ends up on Josh's mouth instead.
[23:29]	* [huh]Yukiko	falls to her knees.
[23:29]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"I-I should have noticed..."
[23:29]	* [K]Mirai	decline the snacks, as eating while giggling the hell out of her breathe will choke her to death.
[23:30]	* [Owen]Josh	manages to close his mouth almost in time, but he still gets a taste, and now his chin is all beer-y. Vile.
[23:30]	* [Owen]Josh	coughs and splutters while backing away. He's had enough.
[23:30]	<[Rut]Eri>	Uh, uh oh. Too much.
[23:30]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Okay, no, no, that's it. That, is, IT."
[23:30]	* [Owen]Josh	points at Eri.
[23:30]	<[Rut]Eri>	Ehehe, sorry...
[23:31]	<[Owen]Josh>	"You. You are... dead. You smell, dead."
[23:31]	<[Owen]Josh>	"I have no idea how that's possible."
[23:31]	<[Rut]Eri>	H-huh??
[23:31]	<Luize>	...
[23:31]	<Luize>	This gets more and more interesting....
[23:31]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"What?!"
[23:31]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Do you even know the meaning of the word SOAP?!"
[23:31]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Or TOOTHPASTE?!"
[23:32]	* [Rut]Eri	waits for a moment... And her head explodes! Only it doesn't. Oh well, would have been badass~
[23:32]	<[Rut]Eri>	... but I guess Josh couldn't be a badass ever, huh?
[23:32]	* [Rut]Eri	thinks out loud. Non sequitur...
[23:32]	* [Owen]Josh	just shakes his head and averts his eyes.
[23:33]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Just... stop talking. Yuki. Start being my maid again."
[23:33]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Ah-"
[23:33]	* [Owen]Josh	points to Eri again.
[23:33]	* [huh]Yukiko	blushes.
[23:33]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"I-I got too into it..."
[23:33]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Get, her, a bath. NOW."
[23:33]	<[K]Mirai>	"at once~"
[23:33]	* [K]Mirai	reappears besides Josh.
[23:33]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Yes, Josh."
[23:33]	<[Owen]Josh>	"I am SERIOUS."
[23:33]	* [huh]Yukiko	bows, and grabs Eri's arm.
[23:34]	<[huh]Yukiko>	"Mirai, take the other arm."
[23:34]	<Luize>	As for me sir?
[23:34]	<[Rut]Eri>	Uh... you mad?
[23:34]	* [Rut]Eri	isn't smiling anymore.
[23:34]	<[Owen]Josh>	"Only as mad as you if you think this is a bad idea, Eri."
[23:34]	<[K]Mirai>	"Roger~"
[23:35]	<[Rut]Eri>	Argh, you're really hard to understand...
[23:35]	* [K]Mirai	take hold of the captive.
[23:36]	<[Owen]Josh>	"So are you. Maybe once we peel you out of that dirt shell we'll find out who you really are."
[23:36]	<GMOwen>	And so the prisoner was taken away to a horrible, foreign place, with strange customs and evil overlords.
[23:37]	<GMOwen>	She would be forced to strip to the nude while her guards would have their way with her.
[23:37]	<GMOwen>	More or less. Tune in next time!
[23:39]	<[Rut]Eri>	[LOL WATERBOARDING]