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Thermonuclear-Sexplosion: Button's Mum as a WMD

Dec 15th, 2014
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  1. >You are Dr J. Robert Oppenhorser, one of the foremost minds in the field of theoretical magic
  2. >Your restful sleep is disturbed by a sudden phone call in the early hours of the morning...
  3. Hello, who is...
  4. Oh, your majesty, I...
  5. I see. And when is the chariot...
  6. Any minute now? Yes. I will leave at once
  7. >You put down the phone
  8. >"Who was it, you lazy slob?"
  9. None of your damn business, you nag. Go back to sleep.
  10. >"I'll sleep when I want to. You're going to be gone for a while?"
  11. Yeah. I didn't want to come back, but all my stuff's here.
  12. >"Oh, haha. Go on, get out of here"
  13. >You give your wife a quick hug and grab your emergency overnight bag
  14. >Heading out your front door, you're surprised to see a chariot arriving
  15. >Being disturbed at such short notice... something serious must be going on
  16. >The full moon hangs heavy in the sky as you board the chariot, and are whisked away to Canterlot
  17.  
  18. >After an hour or so, you've arrived and are ushered into a conference room
  19. >As you enter, you're surprised to see the Princesses Celestia, Luna and even the newer one, Twilight.
  20. >You also recognise several other leading scientists, and a couple of ponies wearing the uniform of a general, their chests fielding an impressive array of gleaming medals
  21. >At your arrival, Celestia stands
  22. >"Finally, we are all assembled."
  23. >You sit down at the only empty seat on the conference table and find a dossier before you
  24. >"You have all been brought here to address an ongoing situation that developed in the town of Ponyville late last night"
  25. >"I'd like to turn you over to Princess Twilight, who has been monitoring the situation and will provide a brief outline"
  26. >With no further ado, she sits and Twilight begins to talk
  27. >"At 21:37, I noticed an abnormal amount of background magic interfering with an experiment I was about to perform."
  28. >"I investigated, and found that the phenomena originated from a local source that was producing large amounts of energy"
  29. >"I began to track the source, hoping to determine what exactly was going on"
  30. >"As I moved further towards the source, I noticed that the ambient temperature was well above what would be normal for a winter's night, about 23 degrees Celsius"
  31. >"The closer I moved toward the epicentre of the emissions, the higher the temperature got until eventually it was too uncomfortable for me to progress without cooling myself with my magic"
  32. >"At this point, I arrived on Finklydown road. There was an intense light radiating from one of the houses on the road, number 47"
  33. >"The heat was becoming dangerous, and fire was becoming a conceivable risk so I made the decision to call upon the guard to evacuate the road"
  34. >She gives a sigh
  35. >"That was at 21:45. The intense light showed no sign of dimming, and the background magic was becoming so strong that it was becoming too difficult to try to investigate from close range"
  36. >"At 22:32, number 47 began to show signs of being on fire. We evacuated the enitre area"
  37. >"At 23:14, other houses on the road began to spontaneously combust from the incredibly high heat, and the background magic began to become strong enough to create spontaneous effects. A few minutes later, at 23:17, we evacuated Ponyville."
  38. >The faces in the room are all serious, everyone trying to process this information
  39. >"The energy being given off by this object is increasing at an alarming rate, and shows no signs of stopping. If left unchecked, it poses a very serious threat to all of Equestria, possibly even to our entire planet."
  40. >Twilight surveys the room, making eye contact with everyone present
  41. >"You are the créme de la créme, the very best in your respective fields. We NEED to stop this, and the only people in the world capable of that are all presently in this room."
  42. >"Now. In front of you each is a dossier containing everything we currently know. We have researchers in the field trying to piece together more information, so expect updates as time goes on."
  43. >"I'd like everyone to take a few moments to look through the information, and then we can begin trying to work out exactly what's going on. If we know what's causing this, then we can find a way to stop it."
  44. >With that, Twilight sits and everyone begins to flick through their heavy dossiers, picking out key information as they go...
  45.  
  46. >"... unt so ze effect must originate from a source vith magical potential. Hence, zis, 'Button's mum', an earth pony, is not zer source of ze radiation."
  47. >There's a snort as the bespectacled pig finishes talking.
  48. >"I'm sorry Niels Boar, but that's absurd. Earth ponies also have latent magical abilities, and it's entirely possible that whatever is causing this is channelling through the power THROUGH her. I do not think she herself is the source."
  49. >There are a variety of responses, some supportive and others derisive
  50. >Marie Cutie, a world leader on research into radiology speaks up
  51. >"Ridiculous. Button's mum is merely a red herring. She may be the only pony not successfully rescued from Ponyville, and the source may be in her home, but we can't just assume it's her without any proof! In fact, I believe that cyborg aliens from another dimension's future have..."
  52. >You tune out the argument as your mind works, going over the facts and rereading your dossier, searching for any tiny clue that could reveal the truth
  53. >The ongoing 'civilised discussion' halts when somepony rushes into the room and gives Twilight a folder
  54. >After exchanging a few private words, the pony rushes out, and Twilight addresses the room
  55. >"We've just received a report."
  56. >"Currently, the forcefield is resisting the energy. However, our on site defence experts warn us that if the source continues to grow in power at the same rate it has been, then their shield will collapse in, at worst, 6 hours"
  57. >There are gasps from around the room
  58. >"We've also been brought some more information, especially on this 'Button's mum'"
  59. >With that, she opens the dossier and pulls out a picture of the mare in question
  60. >A tan coloured earth pony with a nicely styled brown mane
  61. >Everyone takes a moment to appreciate the mare
  62. >"I'd ride her at the rodeo!" interjects Horsenburg
  63. >"Daaamn, she's a solid 10 if every I've seen one!" Boar helpfully adds
  64. >Celestia contributes to the conversation with a long wolf-whistle
  65. >You're shocked at their behaviour
  66. >Sure, this pony is probably one of the most attractive you've ever laid eyes on, but now's not the time to be distracted by her hotness.
  67. >It's made worse by the fact that the crude comments all come from a group of ponies who were, moment ago, arguing like a bunch of mares on oestrus...
  68. >Mares in oestrus? You wonder...
  69. Do we have her medical files?
  70. >Twilight flicks through her new folder, and pulls out a file, passing it to you
  71. >You skim the document, and it confirms your suspicions
  72. >Standing, you begin to speak
  73. What was the first thing you all noticed when you saw this mares picture?
  74. >There's a brief silence, before someone blurts out "How HOT she is!"
  75. >You nod
  76. Exactly. And in her records...
  77. >You place the document you just read back down on the table
  78. ...it says in here that she was prescribed lysergic acid diethylamide up until two weeks ago, when her doctor decided to end the treatment.
  79. >There are a couple of confused faces, but the rest all seem to be contemplating your words
  80. Lysergic acid diethylamide, for those of you who are unaware, is a completely harmless drug prescribed to help a mare overcome the effects of a particularly strong oestrus.
  81. It seems like Button's mum is quite the nympho. Normally her urges would be held at bay by the prescription, but that was cancelled recently, leaving her open to the influences of her hormones.
  82. >Celestia finally twigs on to what you're saying
  83. >"But doctor! Surely you don't mean..."
  84. >You place your hooves on the table and bow your head slightly, your voice grave
  85. I'm afraid so, your highness.
  86. The hottest mare in Equestria has just gone into heat
  87.  
  88. >There are gasps from all around the room
  89. I believe that her mighty need for a dicking is being transformed into raw energy.
  90. The longer she goes without getting stuffed, the worse the effects will become.
  91. I theorise that, unless someone bumps nasties with her in the next 8 hours, her horniness will become so intense that it will literally tear apart the very fabric of reality, destroying all of Equestria.
  92. >The room rests in silence for a moment, before the others begin agreeing with your theory
  93. >Satisfied with you work, you sit down
  94. Now we know the problem, we can begin to think of a solution. Twilight, you're the element of magic.
  95. Do you think you could create some kind of turbo-sex being out of pure magic?
  96. >Twilight shakes her head, then hesitates slightly
  97. >"Well, yes and no. I KNOW I can create something like that, but the issue is that the high level of random background magic would destroy it before it even commenced foreplay"
  98. >You sigh
  99. We need to stuff her muffin soon, or it'll be the end of the world as we know it.
  100. >The assembled ponies begin throwing ideas out
  101. >"What we need is someone who is completely immune to magic"
  102. >"Yeah, and they have to be good in bed"
  103. >"Good? No, they need to be AMAZING. They have to pump her pussy time and time again, never stopping for as long as she's in heat"
  104. >"No such creature exists! Equestria is doomed!"
  105. >You notice Celestia and Luna looking at each other, some kind of silent conversation passing between the two
  106. >Luna gives a nod, and moves to the other side of the room
  107. >Celestia raises her hoof and silence falls almost instantly. As this happens, Luna begins to channel some kind of summoning spell
  108. >After a long pause, Celestia begins to speak
  109. >"Such a creature does exist."
  110. >"Long ago, a strange being arrived in our land from a different reality. His original reality had no magic, and so he is impervious to it. He was welcomed at first, but soon things turned sour"
  111. >"This creature was so good at sexing ponies up, he became the most sought after being in our country."
  112. >"Mares from all over would flock to be with him, and he would spend his days sleeping with dozens of lusty ponies"
  113. >"His hordes of lovers all provided for him, and he lived as a king among them."
  114. >"Though he wasn't inherrently evil, his existence was detrimental to the well-being of our country"
  115. >"The birth rate fell by almost 80% as all females were pleasured by this creature"
  116. >"We decided that he would have to be locked away, for the safety of our country"
  117. >The room is collectively dumbfounded
  118. And you believe that this creature could now be our salvation?
  119. >Celestia nods solemnly, and as she does so, Luna finishes her spell
  120. >A door appears, floating in space
  121. >It opens, and out steps a tall bipedal ape descendent.
  122. >It's wearing a suit, and it looks around the room, a faint smile on its face
  123. >"Well, hello ladies and gentlemen."
  124. >The being notices Luna and Celestia
  125. >"Whoa! You two! Damn, I still have dreams about that time the three of us got the marzipan, the filing cabinet and the carnival masks!"
  126. >The sisters stammer at his words
  127. >"WET dreams that is!"
  128. >Celestia seems to finally snap out of her stupor
  129. >"Anon. We have need of your particular... skills"
  130. >"We need you to walk into a maelstrom of magical energy which won't affect you and incredible heat that PROBABLY won't affect you, and..."
  131. >Anon raises a hand and silences her
  132. >"Nope."
  133. >Celestia looks shocked
  134. >"You just locked me up for like, 800 years. I'm cool with it, live and let live and all that, but I'm not going to risk my life just for..."
  135. At the centre is the world's hottest nymphomaniac mare and we need you to fuck her.
  136. >As soon as you finish speaking, Anon revises his answer:
  137. >"I accept"
  138.  
  139. >Within the hour, you all stand at the edge of the effected zone
  140. >Dozens of unicorns pour their magical energy into a glimmering dome, fizzling and hissing as it tries to contain the lusty energy of Button's mum
  141. >The team of scientists stand around as Anon prepares to breach the forcefield
  142. Be careful Anon, we don't know what lies behind that barrier. Though you should be immune to all magical and heat effects, if there's anything else in there it could pose a threat
  143. >Anon gives a dismissive wave of his hand
  144. >"Don't worry Doc, I'm trained in over 250 different styles of Gland-to-Gland combat. I can bring a partner to orgasm in less time than it takes for them to get their clothes off..."
  145. >He thinks for a moment
  146. >"... which can actually be quite confusing at times."
  147. >Celestia clears her throat as Anon eyes up the wall of crackling magical energy
  148. >"Anon, you go with the full blessing of Equestria. At great personal risk, you're willingly going to..."
  149. >The princess stops speaking as Anon just sprints toward the magical shield, eye on the prize
  150. >She gives a heavy sigh as he disappears through the wall of energy
  151. >"It's lucky that it was the most attractive mare ever that was in the centre, otherwise he never would have helped us" Horsenburg pipes up
  152. >Luna laughs
  153. >"You don't know Anon. He would have ran in just as fast if we had told him there was a melon with a hole cut in it"
  154. >Celestia nods
  155. >"Yes. He's an insatiable sex machine. If anyone can stuff this wanton slut's lusty nethers, it's Anon."
  156. We can but hope, your highness...
  157. >You look at the buckling magical dome
  158. ... we can but hope.
  159.  
  160. >You walk with the Princesses to a nearby tent, banks of equipment being tended by a dozen flustered ponies in military dress
  161. >The commander salutes as the Luna and Celestia arrive
  162. >"Your highnesses. We've got a signal from Anon. His immunity to the background magic is allowing us to communicate, but the signal's still weak from interference"
  163. >He gestures toward a microphone on a stand
  164. >"If you wish to talk to him, speak into that"
  165. >The princesses, along with you and several of the other scientists, gather around the mic.
  166. >Taking the initiative, you speak into it
  167. Anon. Can you hear us?
  168. >"Yeah, but you may wanna turn the mic off when I actually get to the centre"
  169. >"Things are gonna get WEIRD..."
  170. >You're about to respond, but he continues
  171. >"I mean, you're welcome to listen, it doesn't bother me, but it's gonna be some real NC-17 shit"
  172. >You sigh
  173. I'm sure we understand-
  174. >"I'm not just talking about moans; it'll sound like someone's getting murdered. Screams, wet squelching sounds..."
  175. Yes, ok, we-
  176. >"... maybe, like, a cracking noise? Depends how limber I am after my little incarceration. And sometimes I do this thing were I commentate, so like, I dunno if you're into that-"
  177. Are you done?
  178. >There's a brief silence
  179. >"... continue."
  180. >You pause for a moment, trying to refocus
  181. Tell us Anon, what do you see?
  182. >"Uh, everything's really bright but I can see buildings and vague shapes. It's funny, I thought you said Ponyville was evacuated"
  183. >You frown
  184. It was evacuated, why?
  185. >You nothing but static for a few moments
  186. Anon? What's going on?
  187. >"Uh, they're all coming toward me now, what should I do?"
  188. Anon? WHAT DO YOU SEE?
  189. >Your heart hammers in your chest, and you can feel a sheen of cold sweat forming along your brow
  190. >"I- they're like, weird fiery ghost ponies"
  191. >Your eyes widen, and your colleagues and the princesses look to you
  192. >"What is it? What are they Oppenhorser?"
  193. >Sagging your head, you speak
  194. Semen Demons
  195. Button's Mum's libido has taken a physical form, and is seeking out any sexual release it can find
  196. >There are a serious of shocked gasps from around the room
  197. >"Pffft. Spoopy. Seriously though, am I going to have to fuck all these sexy demons?"
  198. >Anon actually sounds pretty hopeful
  199. No. You don't have time. It is of the utmost importance you complete your mission before Button's Mum goes critical!
  200. >"...oh, ok"
  201. >He doesn't even try to hide his disappointment
  202. You're going to need to distract them Anon.
  203. >There's a zip noise
  204. >"Way ahead of you, Doc."
  205. >You can hear a pumping noise, and awkwardly look away slightly
  206. Uh...
  207. >Everyone in the room is avoiding each others eyes, and Twilight rubs at the back of her head uncomfortably
  208. >"It's no good! I'm not used to finishing this quick!"
  209. >"I normally aim to last at least 2 hours on my first load"
  210. >Damn, he has nowhere near that time!
  211. Ok Anon. Is there...
  212. >You groan
  213. ...is there any way we can help?
  214. >There are a few second of silence before Anon speaks again, his voice strained
  215. >"Yeah... I need you to talk dirty to me"
  216. >Shit.
  217. Uh...
  218. >Shit shit shit
  219. I, uh...
  220. >Your stammering is interrupted by Princess Twilight Sparkle stepping forward
  221. >"I'm really hot right now... I want it?"
  222. >The sound of Anon redoubling his efforts carries over the mic
  223. >"YES! That's it, more like that, from anyone! Dudes too, it's all good fun!"
  224. >Boar clears his throat
  225. >"I want you to, uh... pull on my little tail. Tell me... tell me..."
  226. >He's clearly lost steam, and you step in
  227. Tell him he's a dirty piggy!
  228. >Boar nods uncomfortably
  229. >"Yes! Tell me how... dirty I am."
  230. >The pumping sound is furious now
  231. >Luna steps forward
  232. >"Mmmm... my marehood is dripping right now for you Anon. I need you in me. I want you to ride me like the disgusting slut I am"
  233. >There's a series of grunts from over the mic
  234. >"Ok, they're all fighting over my load! I guess I could go another round if..."
  235. NO! You don't have time Anon!
  236. >"Oh, fine. Killjoy."
  237. >There's a moan, this time from inside the tent
  238. >Everyone spins round in surprise to see Luna, her eyes tight shut
  239. >"Oh yes. Tie me down! Use every inch of me for your perverted desires!"
  240. Uhh... your highness?
  241. >Her face reddens as she moves one of her hooves to between her legs
  242. >"Oooohhhh, yes. I'm yours Anon, use me! Use me like..."
  243. >Celestia coughs loudly, and gives her sister a nudge
  244. >Luna opens her eyes, and sees everyone looking at her
  245. >"Uhh...."
  246. >There's a moment of awkward silence as Luna turns beetroot red
  247. >Thankfully, a brief burst of static cuts through the embarrassment
  248. >"Ok, I'm at the house."
  249. >You fumble for the mic
  250. Anon! Good, uh, the epicentre seems to be upstairs
  251. >You wait for Anon to respond, but are greeted only by the hiss of static
  252. Anon? Do you copy?
  253. >Still no response
  254. >You're about to ask again, but one of the technicians in the tent speaks up
  255. >"Sir, we're experiencing a huge spike in energy!"
  256. >Several alarms begin sounding around the room, and warning lights flash an urgent red
  257. Dammit, what's happening?
  258. >A display panel explodes, sending a red pony flying
  259. >"THE SHIELD'S CAN'T HOLD! WE'VE GOT ABOUT 15 MORE SECONDS!"
  260. >Shit
  261. Come on, Anon. You're supposed to be the greatest...
  262. >You mutter to yourself, knowing full well that your life is in the hands of some sexed up monkey man
  263. >"5 SECONDS!"
  264. >"4"
  265. >"3"
  266. >"2..."
  267. >A red light on one of the consoles turns from red to yellow
  268. >"...wait, it's dropping!"
  269. >One by one, the alarms silence, and the lights change to less urgent colours
  270. >"It's falling! He's done it!"
  271. >The room erupts into a series of cheers
  272. >Ponies are hugging one another, laughing, crying
  273. >It looks like Equestria is saved after all!
  274. The magnificent bastard managed it...
  275. >Suddenly, a noise cuts through the static of the mic
  276. >"Uh, uh, uh, Mmmmmmhhhhh"
  277. >The room slowly quietens down
  278. >There's a squelching noise, with what you can only assume is the creaking of a bed
  279. >A needy scream comes over the intercom, and you hastily turn it off
  280. >There's a moment's silence before Luna speaks up
  281. >"I'm uh, gonna go lie down for 30 minutes or so. Be right back"
  282. >She trots out of the room, tail held low over her nethers
  283. >"Yeah, I need to grab a snack!"
  284. >"I'll be in the toilet if anyone needs me!"
  285. >"I'm, uh, just going to get some fresh air!"
  286. >One by one the assembled ponies rush off, their real intentions obvious
  287. >Eventually, just you and Celestia are left in the room
  288. Well. Looks like he managed it.
  289. >Celestia just looks you up and down, biting her lower lip
  290. >"Are you a married pony, doctor?"
  291. Yes, I have a wife.
  292. >Celestia leans in close
  293. >"I REALLY like doctors, doctor. Do you think maybe your wife would mind if I... /borrowed/ you?"
  294. >You hesitate slightly
  295. >But only slightly
  296. Get on the table
  297. >Celestia smiles seductively
  298. >"Right here? Ohhh, you /are/ naughty"
  299.  
  300. >Hours later, the team that saved Equestria is assembled in the command tent
  301. >You've tried a few times to contact Anon, but he still seems to be in the middle of something
  302. Your highnesses, what will happen to Anon now?
  303. >The sisters look at each other
  304. >"He will go free, in honour of his service to Equestria, but not before we thank him... privately."
  305. >"As for Button's Mum, she will be given a prescription of the oestrus blockers."
  306. >The comms channel crackles to life again
  307. >"Heeey, guys. Guess who just scored a 10/10 milf!"
  308. >You groan inwardly
  309. Anon. It seems congratulations are in order. If you hadn't got her those oestrus blockers to her in time, we...
  310. >"Oestrus blockers?! Oh shit, that's what that was."
  311. >You blink
  312. You didn't give her the medicine?
  313. >"Uh...."
  314. All you had to do was smear some of the compound onto her! We explained in the briefing!
  315. >"Oh, I was busy checking out that radiology chick. Hey by the way."
  316. >Marie Cutie blushes
  317. >"Hey Anon."
  318. >You rub your tired eyes with a hoof
  319. Well, it looks like you were able to sate her lusts without it. Apply it now, and everything should be fine.
  320. >There's another awkward pause
  321. >"Uhhh..."
  322. >"I, uh, I kinda used it"
  323. >You take in a deep breath, trying to calm yourself
  324. And what, exactly, did you use it FOR?
  325. >"Well, I'm just gonna come clean here. I just thought it was lube, you know?"
  326. ...
  327. Lube?
  328. >"Yeah, just in case she wanted to do any butt stuff"
  329. And did she want to try any... 'butt stuff'?
  330. >Anon pauses for a moment, but when he speaks you can hear the smirk on his face
  331. >"Oh yeeeah she did!"
  332. >Well. There's that.
  333. >You suppose that... rectal application of the drug would still be just as effective as skin contact, if not more so
  334. Ok Anon, the lysergic acid diethylamide should still take effect, but we may need to-
  335. >"Lysergic acid diethylamide?"
  336. >You frown at being interrupted
  337. Yes, it's the most common oestrus suppressor. Why?
  338. >"Lysergic acid diethylamide? Like, LSD? Like, 'I just rubbed a load on my dick then stuck it in her pooper' LSD?"
  339. Yes. LSD. Why? Is there an issue?
  340. >There's just silence for a few moments
  341. >"I'm going to sit down for a bit. Just before... wow, ok. Things are gonna get a bit weird"
  342. >"I can't believe you spiked my lube with LSD! You're a wild one Doc!"
  343. It wasn't lube, and you were told multiple times the it was LSD. In great detail.
  344. >"Don't worry Doc, I get it. Prank war, yo?"
  345. No, I didn't-
  346. >The radio cuts out, and Anon stops responding
  347. >Well, shit.
  348. >If he thinks you pranked him by giving him some kind of powerful hallucinogen, who knows how he'll respond?
  349. >Princess Luna speaks up
  350. >"I wouldn't worry about it Doctor."
  351. >"We'll recover him and ensure he's kept nice and safe."
  352. >She licks her lips slightly
  353. >"Nice and safe indeed..."
  354. >You want to say something, but you're far too tired
  355. >Celestia steps forward
  356. >"Head home doctor. You've done a great service to Equestria."
  357. >She leans in close and whispers in your ear
  358. >"I look forward to our next meeting, doctor"
  359. >You clear your throat awkwardly
  360. Uh, yes your highness. I live to serve.
  361. >With that, you bow and take your leave, boarding a chariot to take you home
  362.  
  363. >About an hour later, you're standing outside your house
  364. >The sun is low in the sky, and you realise that it was only about 7 or 8 hours ago that you were fast asleep in bed
  365. >It's starting to hit you just how tired you are
  366. >With a yawn, you open your front door and make your way slowly up your stairs
  367. >When you get to your bedroom, you realise your wife has already left for work
  368. >More room in the bed for you then.
  369. >Just as you're about to climb into your bed, the phone rings
  370. >You groan
  371. Oh, come on!
  372. >Picking it up, you answer gruffly
  373. Yes?
  374. >"Doctor Oppenhorser?"
  375. >You're surprise to hear Celestia's voice
  376. >"Anon is missing in action. We entered the zone to recover him, but he's gone."
  377. >"You may want to take a few precautions just in case he tries to come after you with a prank or something"
  378. >She hesitates slightly
  379. >"I'm sure he's harmless, but... well, just be careful"
  380. Ok your highness, I'll take care
  381. >"One last thing, remember when-"
  382. >She cuts out mid sentence
  383. Hello?
  384. >Celestia doesn't respond, but someone's still there
  385. >You can hear breathing down the line
  386. H-hello?
  387. >Suddenly, the phone hangs up
  388. >There's another receiver in your house. Whoever that was, they're in your home
  389. >Your heart fills with dread
  390. >Slowly, you creep down the stairs
  391. >The other phone is in the kitchen
  392. >Sneaking along the corridor, your stomach is a mass of knots
  393. >Wait, what are you doing?
  394. >This is Anon. Sure, he's a bit sexed up, but you're sure he's not dangerous. He won't hurt you
  395. >You're getting worried about nothing, probably from lack of sleep
  396. >With your strengthening resolve, you step through the door into the kitchen, and see...
  397. >Nothing. The room is empty, and nothing seems out of place
  398. >Huh, guess you were worrying about nothing. Probably just a problem with the phone lines
  399. >And it's not like Anon could have got here before you did on a royal carriage anyway.
  400. >You turn and, with a yelp, see Anon standing a few metres behind you, a deranged grin on his face, eyes as wide as saucers
  401. Anon! W-what are you doing here?
  402. >Anon is holding something behind is back
  403. >"Knock knock."
  404. >You blink
  405. Listen Anon, I'm really sorry if you though-
  406. >"Knock knock."
  407. >His wide smile remains unmoving
  408. Anon, please. You need to leave. I'm tired, I-
  409. >"Knock knock"
  410. >It doesn't even seem like he'd registering what you're saying
  411. >You take a half step back, fear creeping into your voice
  412. Who's... who's there?
  413. >Anon takes a little step forward
  414. >"Water."
  415. >You take a bigger step back, not sure where this is going
  416. Water who
  417. >Anon matches your step with one of his own
  418. >"Water..."
  419. >Suddenly, Anon pulls his hand out from behind his back and flicks his wrist toward you
  420. >"...PRANK!"
  421. >You stagger backwards and flinch
  422. >Something hits your throat, and you feel a wet liquid running down you neck
  423. >You open your eyes, expecting to see blood...
  424. >Instead, you see Anon dancing around, holding a cup
  425. >A quick check reveals that the liquid was water
  426. >Anon just threw a cup of water at you
  427. >"AWWWW! Y'ALL JUST GOT LIT UP!"
  428. >He continues his dance, chanting "Prank war" to himself as he does so
  429. >Wordlessly, you push him towards the front door
  430. >He doesn't resist as you force him outside, closing the door behind him
  431. >In fact, you can still hear him chanting as you head upstairs again
  432. >Sure you've just released a sex weirdo back into the street, while he's high and convinced he's in some kind of prank war, but really?
  433. >Enough's enough. Time for bed.
  434.  
  435. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  436. Bad end
  437.  
  438. >"Ok, I'm at the house."
  439. >You fumble for the mic
  440. Anon! Good, uh, the epicentre seems to be upstairs
  441. >You wait for Anon to respond, but are greeted only by the hiss of static
  442. Anon? Do you copy?
  443. >Still no response
  444. >You're about to ask again, but one of the technicians in the tent speaks up
  445. >"Sir, we're experiencing a huge spike in energy!"
  446. >Several alarms begin sounding around the room, and warning lights flash an urgent red
  447. Dammit, what's happening?
  448. >A display panel explodes, sending a red pony flying
  449. >"THE SHIELD'S CAN'T HOLD! WE'VE GOT ABOUT 15 MORE SECONDS!"
  450. >Shit
  451. Come on, Anon. You're supposed to be the greatest...
  452. >You mutter to yourself, knowing full well that your life is in the hands of some sexed up monkey man
  453. >"5 SECONDS!"
  454. >"4"
  455. >"3"
  456. >"2..."
  457. >The room collectively holds is breath, desperately hoping that Anon will save the day
  458. >"1"
  459. >"The shield is haemorrhaging!"
  460. >You can feel the intense heat leaking from the growing cracks in the shield
  461. >With a flash of light, Celestia, Luna and Twilight are gone, teleported away to safety
  462. >You're going to die
  463. >The knowledge seems to bring you a sense of peace, and you turn to look at the shield as it begins to dissipate
  464. >Time slows around you, the panicking ponies moving as though through treacle
  465. >The shield bursts, releasing a wave of pure white heat straight toward you
  466. >Your sight is the first thing to go, but you feel no pain
  467. >Only a strange sense of contentment
  468. >In a heartbeat, your skin has blistered off
  469. >Then your muscles burn away
  470. >By this point, your brain has boiled
  471. >Somehow, you are still aware of what's going on
  472. >Your body is consumed by the wall of intense heat
  473. >You feel your conscious drifting upward, and soon you're observing Equestria from space
  474. >A wall of flame moves around the planet, burning its way through the atmosphere at an incredible speed.
  475. >Where the wall of brilliant light travels, the earth is melted, the oceans boiled instantly
  476. >Still it spreads, moving outward until the entire planet is glowing bright, brighter than the sun
  477. >A part of you, whatever YOU is at this point, wonders how much hotter Button's Mum can get
  478. >Your question is answered in part as the moon begins to melt under the withering heat
  479. >Soon, it is gone completely, and the intensity of Button's Mum is only growing
  480. >As minutes pass and the light travels the unimaginable distances of space, the other planets begin to be blasted apart by the sheer intensity of radiation
  481. >Even the sun is not safe, being pulled apart by something that outshines even it
  482. >Your conscious finally begins to fade, but you are certain that this circle of light will radiate outward into the universe, destroying all it touched with its terrible intensity
  483. >A final thought passes through the conscious of you, Dr J. Robert Oppenhorser
  484. Now, Button's Mum is become death: destroyer of worlds
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