Thread 31: Stories 46-60

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>Pinkie
"Idris"
'Gwen'
~~~
>Heya! Glad i found you guys, how're you liking Partyland so far?!

The two look at eachother

'To be perfectly frank-'

>GASP! You do Frank so perfectly!

"We are not amused."

>C'mon! that was still at least B-material!

"Not the joke, Miss Pie."

'The park itself.'

>Seriously?

"It's rather boring by Griffon standards."

'And the pageantry is just so... Empty compared to one of our fairs.'

"We were planning on checking out tomorrow."

>oh... I'm sorry to hear that this was such a disappointment. I'll try to look into how I can appeal to the Griffon demograph more.

'you do that.'

>But... Tomorrow, before you go, could I ask a teensy favor, please?

"you are asking a favor from the King and Queen of the Griffon Kingdoms, since you have the audacity to propose it, why not just ask away?"

>Well... Woul you stop by the World's Fair park and check out The Griffon Kingdom Pavillion?

'Griffon Kingdom Pavillion?'

>Yeah, the World's Fair park is a smaller park with areas divided up based on various nations. I worked really really really hard on getting all the research right and traditional Griffon masons and architects to make the place! Check the broucher.

'Huh...'

"They have a museum..."

'And 10 helped with the research it seems.'

"AND AN AUTHENTIC MEAD HALL!"

'A MEAD HALL?!'

>Yep, and we serve all kinds of traditional Griffon foods! It's marked as one of the places that serves carnivorous alternative meals!

"... Winny?"

'Idris... You know what happens when you drink too much mead in an actual hall.'

"Please, honey?"

'... Alright, fine, but only one keg.'

"YES! Thank you, Winny, I love you!"

'I better get wild, drunken, public sex for this."

>Uhhh... I think this is where I step off screen.

"How about wild, sober, sex right in this hall?"

>Author?! Lemme out! I'm feeling uincomfortable!

'Well, maybe you should let me 'rouse the rooster'.'

>ANONYMOUS!

"He's already fat, cawing, and wants to find his hen."

'Oh, Idris... Keep this up and your rooster might just peck a few eggs in the old coop.'

"It only gets him more excited."

>CUT TO BLACK! FOR THE LOVE OF FAUST, COT TO BLA-!

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>Applejack
“Celestia”
~~~~~~

It was a long day. Had been, actually. It’d been a long day of sightseeing, ride-riding, friend-tossing and just the general chaos that only a land constructed by Pinkie Pie could bring.

Still, even feeling as worn out as an old horseshoe, she sat at a desk specifically asked to be brought in just for this one form.

Because unlike a majority of the other billion forms of the past, this one actually resonated with Applejack on a personal level and she found herself wrestling over it, mentally batting a ball of pros and cons back and forth.

Even while on break, she was privy to the going ons of the castle, as was Celestia. And she knew that Blueblood had been given a day pardon. This was not something that had been run by either her or the princess, but she said nothing of it. From that one guards reports, Haymaker, the incarcerated stallion was recovering. Somewhat, with rare lapses.

Just behind her stood Celestia, silent and sturdy, watching over Applejack’s shoulder as her pen floated hesitantly over the dotted line.

The dotted line that could either banish Blueblood back to his cell or give him an extra day… just long enough for Celestia to actually see him.

>Would… tell me the truth, w-would ya think me any less if’n Ah didn’t sign this?

The inner struggle was all too prevalent in her tone; it spoke of her dread, of her paralyzing fear that she’d somehow make the wrong choice… and that alone was confirmation that she wasn’t so eager to give Blueblood another chance.

“I would not, dear. Whichever way you choose to go, it will be the right one, that I am certain of.”

>…Why can’t y’all do this? Ah… Ah- no, Celestia, no, Ah’ll mess up, Ah’m shakin’ all over an’-

“Breathe, Applejack. It’s okay."

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Not working.

"And you know very well why I can’t sign this. Even if I were on the side of sending him back to his cell, it’s still a personal matter for me because he is family. My decision would be labeled biased no matter the direction. Either I’d want him free due to being my nephew, or I’d want him locked up out of spite….”

That wasn’t the answer, or help, that Applejack sought and her quivering did not cease. The attempt on her life wasn’t what had her teetering on the edge of not signing… it was knowing that Spike had been shot, and subsequently hospitalized, because of him. And why? Why?! Because his boorish and outdated views on royalty and overall pompous-as-fuck attitu-

She blew a hard gust of air from her nose, stopping that train of thought before it could get rolling.

He was trying… remember that, he was trying. And down in those caves, he'd protected both Spike and Rarity. Yeah, good points, bring up the good po- but he started a full blown war for Faust sake’s! Shouldn’t he have been rightfully executed? How many charges is that even?

Her teeth grit with an audible crack that caused Celestia’s wings to twitch.

And then she set down the pen.

>…

“Is that your decision?”

Decision. Hawh… this wasn’t about decisions anymore, this was about behaving as a figure of authority ought to. Celestia claimed she couldn’t sign due to bias views, but all Applejack could see was Spike’s grinning face as he lay there in that hospital bed, trying to assure her he was fine when she knew damn well he was in pain.

Laboring over this had caused her to break out in a heavy sweat, her fur felt matted, her stomach clenching and unclenching. It was just a form for ONE extra day, not a life fucking sentence, so why the leg-buckling fear?

She jumped when Celestia spoke.

“I know this is tough… you’re an honest mare, Applejack, and not simply because of your element. I’d hoped you wouldn’t have to come across a matter such as this but sadly you must make a choice. Now. And live with the outcome of whatever you decide, but you must make sure it is one you would stand by without question.”

Emerald eyes glanced from the princess before turning back to that harrowing slip of parchment. She reached for the pen but it took her more than a minute to actually claim it.

>…
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>SS
"DT"
~~~~

>This is duuuuummmmbbbb.

"This is not dumb! It is brilliant!"

>DT, as your closest friend, I wish you to know from the bottom of my heart. This is dumb.

"It's theme park security. Security for a theme park. I infiltrated an airship once. AN. AIRSHIP."

>Yeah, well, when that happened you had more than Goobie's level weaponry.

"And I was up against someone with higher level of danger than 'a flashlight and no legal authority'. I went hoof to hoof with a freakin' cyborg, SS!"

>Can't you just ask Pinkie to let you have it if you disarm it?

"SILVER SPOON! You can't ask me to gimp TBDRLIATU like that! That would be like taking his pride from him! A rocket launcher who can't perform is hardly a rocket launcher at all! He needs his explo-jo!"

>You worry me sometimes.

"Drama queen."

>I would agree with you if you weren't currently bending the cloths hangers into a grappling hook.

"You need to be prepared for anything, SS!"

>...I can't stop you, can I?

"Can you stop a rocket, Silver Spoon? Can you stop the flames as it explodes? No? Then no, you can't stop me."

>Can I at least come with you?

"Can't, I only have enough material for the one stealth suit, and if I steal anymore cloths hangers they're going to get suspicious."

>DT...

"You can come on the next one. Now, if you don't mind..."

Deftly, she hefted the make-shift rocket launcher onto her back, and strapped her make-shift utility belt around it to hold it in place. Without missing a beat, she covered herself in a cloak to hide it all.

"He needs broken out. And if there's one thing I'm great at, it's breaking things."

>...Really?

"Shut up! That took me hours to think up!"

>...Really.

"SHUT UP!"
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>DT
"Spike"

>These idiotic... how can you NOT know how to pronounce TBDRLIATU? It's so simple! TBDRLIATU! TBDRLIATU! TBD-fuckin'-RLIATU!

"...Okay, out of all that garbling all I caught was 'fucking'. Are you trying to suggest something or...?"

>YOU DUMBASS!
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>DT
"77"

>Come on, you out of everyone should get this, repeat after me, TBDRLIATU.

"Tibuhblehblehtoo."

>No! TBDRLIATU!

"Tibderlittu!"

>Uggggh!

"I sound like a cave spider's death rattle doing this."

>I'll say.

"..."
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>DT
"42
~~~~

>Say it with me now, TBDRLIATU!

"Gesundheit."

>...what the hell did you just say!? STOP MAKING UP WORDS!
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>29
"Trixie"
'MM'
~~~~

>LET ME IN ALREADY!

"What's the password?"

>SIT UPON A PIKE OF FLAME AND SEARING COALS!

"Nope, try again."

>FIND THYSELF AT THE MERCY OF A TIMBERWOLF SO RABID, AND GET SPLINTERS IN THE WORST PLACE!

"Still not right."

>Upon the morn race out onto the edge of the land we stand atop, watch as the sun rises high over it's glorious peaks, and from that edge thou can LEAP into the air above, feeling the rush of the wind against thy face as thou shalt plummet towards the only thing that would ever look upon you and avoid your poisonous embrace!

"...That good?"

'MMMmmm.. oh yeah, that's plenty.'

"M'kay."

>...Is... is she...

"Yep."

>...Thine entrapment of mine voice and manner of speak sends a chill upon my spine, like the icy claws of a dragon forged of pure frost. A single cold talon trailing it's way from the small of mine back up the curvature of the chitin upon it- ARE YOU STILL ENJOYING THIS!?

'M-maaaayyyyybe?'

>GET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM!

'Wow, you do NOT want that.'

>...

"No no, please, Trixie wants to see how far you can take this."

>...The part that gives unto me the most sadness and woe is that upon this plain of existence so strange, she is the only one who appreciates the years upon years of work within I forged mine craft in the weapon of language.

"Oh, she appreciates it alright."

>...Sigh...
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>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~

>Alright, come on out already!

"..What in Equestria are you doing?"

>Accordin' ta' the help, this little varmit's been in her bag all day!

"Oh, Applejack! You know you shouldn't have brought Winona!"

>What? No! Ah' didn't bring mah, gal' danged dog.

"Then why are you poking that bag?"

>Cause Ah' did bring another little fella that ain't come outta this room at all! Ah' swear, Ah' told the help ta' keep an eye on 'er fer nothin'. She said she was tired on the trip here, lazy sod must'a slept the whole day away! AGAIN! Third time she's done that, no foolin'.

"...Okay, are you going to clue me in, orrrr..."

>Arana! She said she wanted ta' sleep in Mah' bag, so Ah' let her and told the front desk ta' call me on the PA when she woke up. But she's apparently still sleepin'!

"...Even though you're poking her?"

>...OH SHIT! ARANA! DON'T TELL ME YA' SUFFOCATED OR SOMETHIN'! Arana? ARANA!?

"I feel like this isn't going to end well-"

*RIPPPPP!*

>...

"...Applejack, that is a bundle of clothing. That is not a Spider-Changeling. Trust me, I'm in the business, I know the difference.

>...

"... Wait... that must mean that she's... out there... in a place she doesn't know, after having not been on the surface in..."

>...

"...Oh dear..."

>FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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>32
"2"
-Blueblood-
{???}
~77~
[Spike]
<Shining Armor>

32, 2, and Blueblood sprint down the tunnels in the darkness as fast as their legs can carry them. The echoes of shouting and gunfire from far away their only guide, they give no mind towards the cries of Morlocks in their abyssal language that also issue forth.

There was nothing but the promise of an ordeal's end, for Blueblood the ordeal that began the with his assassination attempt on Applejack, for 2 the ordeal that began when Blueblood snatched her away for his protection, and for 32 an ordeal that had felt like years trapped in the horrible caves.

-We're almost there, I can hear them getting...closer?-

The trio stumble into a large open cave...a large open EMPTY cave.

"Wh...wha?! How!?"

-But I heard them! I HEARD them!-

>Shush, let me think...

BANG!

The sound echoes through the cavern, louder than anything 32 has ever heard, they're close, but where? Where?

[Do these guys ever take a hint!?]

~I think not!~

<We can't give up, there has to be an end to this!>

32 blinks at Blueblood, both look up, to the very small hole through which the sounds were leaking through the cave roof.

-Son of a- -

>Ahem.

-...mother. HEY! HEY! WE'RE DOWN HERE!-

[Did you guys hear something?]

"SHINY! SPIKE! MR. PIRATE! WE'RE DOWN UNDERNEATH YA!"

<Two!? Two, is that you!?>

>Let me handle this. Are you Prince Shining Armor?

<...yeah? Who are you?>

>Just a helpful passerby, I have the little one and your enemy with me. Look for a hole in the floor.

~I...know that voice...~

<I...I see it, you've got Two down there?>

>Indeed, and I fully intend to get her back to you safely, but the hole is too small, and if I've learned anything about these blasted caves it's that a cave in is just one errant shot of magic away. Can you find your way back to where you entered?

[Yeah, we marked the way!]

{That's another, you morons didn't think to do that?}

>Gah...

"Mr. 32, you okay?"

>I'm fine. Yes! We'll try and follow you down here, if we go in the same direction we're more likely to meet up or at least come out on the surface!

<Sounds good, whoever you are, take care of my little girl, you hear me?>

[Blueblood, ehhhhh...]

-OH DIE IN A FIRE!-

>Start a tactical withdrawl, we'll follow the gunshots!

~Wait! Wait...brother? Is that you?~

32 gives a rueful chuckle.

>Yes, 77, it's me, we'll speak properly just as soon as we're out of this vile place! Go with your comrades and I'll join you soon!

~...may the Queen be with you, brother.~

>And you too.

-Yes, and may she never eat cake again.-

>Silence yourself, you babbling rube.

The sounds of gunshots begin to regress, heading in the direction of another tunnel, a guide in the untamed subterranean wilderness. They follow it and follow it, hearing the sounds of fighting above, stopping only to reorient themselves at a fork in the tunnels.

>Come on...

Darkness.

>Come on...

Darkness.

>COME ON!

Light! Small but blinding around a bend. A halo of blessed sunlight obliterating the claws of the darkness around it. So far, yet so close.

"We did it!"

>Yes we did!

32's smile grows as he and 2 race towards the light, salvation finally at hand!

{Now you do realize who you just let slip behind you, right?}

32 is only able to register the voice's meaning for a moment before he feels something impact his foreleg. There's a sickening crunch and everything is pain. He stumbles and falls, impacting the earth. He...can't feel his leg...

-That was easier than I thought it'd be.-

32's eyes look upwards, where Blueblood is smirking at him, still levitating the stone he'd smashed into the changeling's foreleg. 2 turns and screams.

"Mr. 32!"

-And as for you...-

The aura of Blueblood's magic surrounds 2, levitating her.

-Well you're back to being my bargaining chip.-

Blueblood grins down at 32.

-It's funny, when you first ambushed me in that cavern you scared the hell out of me-oops, I swore, guess I owe this vermin a bit, hm?- but now? Now I see you in the light and I see you for what you are...-

Blueblood's face fades a moment, replaced by another, a face 32 doesn't recognize...and yet he does.

-...just an old man talking to himself.-

A wave of nausea washes over 32, but in the next instant it's gone, replaced by the haughty aristocrat's smug face.

-Now if you'll excuse me, I have an Equestria to reclaim for myself! I think I'll just leave you to, how did you put it? Be eaten.-

Blueblood turns, levitating the struggling 2 and disappearing into the light.

Behind him 32 hears the slavering growls and hisses...

The Morlocks smell blood.

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>Blueblood
“PJ”
‘Haymaker’
[Guard 1]
{Guard 2}
~~~~~~

They both stared out the window. Night had fallen.

“…”

>…Can I have another potato?

A spud was tossed in the air. A flash of metal later, it was cleanly halved in two and the two halves fell into PJ’s hooves, one of which she offered to the stallion next to her.

“Of course you can.”

>I thank you.

The two ate in silence, staring out at the glistening moon with nary a dash of expression.

“I bet it’s tempting….”

>What is?

“The urge to run away.”

>…

Blueblood said nothing and so took another bite.

“Your silence is a nice bit of acquiesce, though you shouldn’t shy away from it. That’s natural… you get a taste of freedom and you suddenly begin to crave it. I know the feeling, it’s why I’m here now.”

>I’d ask some follow-up questions but I’m afraid I don’t have time to glean the answers… isn’t that right, Haymaker?

“Oh, so his name is Haymaker? I was wondering who's presence that was.”

The guard in question had been standing in the darkened archway to the Gun Club’s room, merely staring at the pony and Changeling. But now he stepped into the light, his solar armor glistening and resplendent.

It came as no surprise when he was flanked by two more unicorn guards.

PJ whistled.

“They really roll out the red carpet for their esteemed guest, don’t they?”

>When you’ve done what I’ve done, I’m surprise they don’t just roll out the chair.

[Cut the chitchat and get moving, Blueblood. You know where you’re headed.]

Haymaker tossed a commanding hiss over his shoulder.

‘Stand down, Charger, there’s no need for that here.’

[Like hell there isn’t. This bastard tried to kill our princess, Hay! I don’t give a rats ass what kind of relationship you two done built, it doesn't change shit.]

{He’s lucky we don’t just run him down right now.}

‘I said STAND DOWN! That’s an order, Charger, Bulls-Eye!’

While the two guards fell into a tight-lipped silence, PJ swallowed the piece of spud in her mouth and started laughing.

“Run him down, ya say? I wouldn’t advise it, least not while I’m around.”

‘Miss, I apologize for my soldiers, but we’re here to-’

[And just who the hell do you think you are, insect?]

Haymaker had only opened his mouth when Blueblood turned around, the look on his face passive, but that didn’t conceal the slow-building ire behind his sunken eyes.

>Please. Watch your mouth.

‘Blueblood, let me hand-’

{Or you’ll do what exactly? You even blink wrong at us and can kiss your freedom goodbye. Another pardon? Forget that, never again.}

“Freedom can come whenever you feel like grasping it, boys. And would you look at that, there’s a window right behind me….”

The thought of escaping had never crossed Blueblood’s frayed mind until that very moment, until PJ nonchalantly undid the latch and pushed the window wide open. Why escape…? What good would that do? He’d just be on the run again.

Even as he asked himself those questions, the harrowing thought of being put back into that hole again, for an undisclosed amount of time, firmed his jaw.

‘Blueblood….’

There was hint of urging in Haymaker’s call, like he could sense what his friend was thinking and didn’t approve.

‘You and I both know that you do not want to do that.’

{Go on then, you psychopath… make a move. Give me a reason to take you down.}

A sound like metal sheets rubbing together filled the room as PJ slowly slid one of her blunt blades free, letting it hang lazily on the ground. With the other hoof, she continued to munch on a potato.

“Standing in the way of another individual’s attempt at freedom? Not while I’m here.”

[What in the hell does it matter to you anyway?!]

“It matters because I’m a neutral force who knows firsthand what it’s like not have a choice, to be stuck in a cage with no way out. If Blueblood wants to stay then by all means, slap the cuffs on him and drag him off. But if he wants to leap for the unknown….”

She stepped up to the royal stallion's side.

“Don’t think for a second that I’ll let you stop him.”

>PJ....

Haymaker lifted a warning hoof.

‘Miss, you realize what you’re doing is against Canterlot law, right? Obstruction of duty is a costly price to pay. Now I’m willing to let you go with a warning. Take it, and step aside.’

“And if I don’t?”

A blur shot from Haymaker’s side with an enraged growl and sped towards PJ.

[FUCK THIS!]

Before he could even comprehend what had happened, Blueblood was in motion, swinging a hoof towards the guard looking to gore the Changeling on his horn.

>NO! PJ!

‘DAMN IT CHARGER I SAID-’

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~~~~~~~~

>AJ
“Celestia”
‘???’
~~~~~~

>Ah don’t want ‘im ta’ get that joy….

Each word fell like a rock from Applejack’s lips, heavy and firm. She meant it. Faust above she meant it. She didn’t want Blueblood to have that extra treat. Why should he after what he’d done?

There was no change in Celestia’s face, not even when Applejack slammed a hoof down on the table with enough force to crack the surface.

>IF THAS’ TRUE THEN WHY CAN’T AH SIGN THIS GODDAMN FORM?!

Thick walls were something that Celestia mentally thanked Pinkie Pie for having the foresight to add to this motel. The apple princess was standing, having kicked her chair away, and had her hooves pressed over the desk, chest heaving.

“It’s hard because you sympathize-”

>No Ah don’t! Celly, don’t y’all stand there an’- he shot Spike! He tried ta’ kill me but Spike saved mah life! Ah shouldn’t be feelin’ this… Ah should want that varmint six feet under….

“But that’s not you, Applejack. And you know it’s not, wanting that.”

A sharp spasm tore through Applejack’s temple and her vision blurred, with both pain and tears. She wanted to deny him that extra day so bad that it hurt, like someone wringing her insides dry.

>Th-this’s so unfair….

“What is, dear?”

Applejack sucked in her bottom lip, chin trembling. And when she closed her eyes, a few beads of water ran down her cheeks, soaking into the light coating of fur there.

“…”

>‘Cause fer’ everythin’ that bastard’s done, mah brain’s tellin’ me ta’ let ‘im rot in his cell. But mah heart… f-fuck…

The pen was suddenly in her grasp and she messily scribbled her name over the dotted line, immediately flinging the pen across the room afterwards.

She didn’t say anything. Neither did Celestia. But the piece of parchment was layered with a golden hue and brought over to the princess.

“Jetset.”

He was there before she finished, kneeling in silence.

‘Yes, my Queen.’

“Take this. You know where to go.”

'Of couse.'

Jetset took the scroll and slipped into a side pocket of his coat, never once sparing the other princess in the room a single glance.

‘You should know, Princess Applejack, that you may have just saved the lives of five others. If I can get there in time.’

He was gone without another word.

There was no need to figure out his cryptic message as Applejack couldn’t have cared less in that moment. A wing larger than she fell over her in a comforting fashion and she suddenly felt the warmth of Celestia next to her.

“What made you…?”

A sniffle.

A rub under a leaky nose.

>Ta’ set an example. Jetset said Ah saved some lives… dunno what he was gabbin’ on about but it’s thanks ta’ that one guard o’ ours, Haymaker. Documentin’ Blueblood’s progress like that, keepin’ tabs. Personal feelin’s aside, Blueblood is tryin’… an’ so’s Chrysalis… an’ second chances need ta’ be given when earned, damn it… even by a day. Or two.

Now surprise claimed Celestia’s face and she glanced down at the red-eyed mare underneath her wing to find her staring up, and with a slight grin.

“You didn’t….”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~~~~

>Blueblood
“PJ”
‘Haymaker’
-Jetset-
~~~~~~

‘-STAND DOWN!’

Like a ghost, Jetset appeared in the nexus of chaos and screams, glancing about only once before throwing up a hoof that easily blocked whatever punch Blueblood was throwing to protect PJ; while behind him, Haymaker struck the diving Charger square in the gut with such force that his armor shattered like glass.

Almost before his unconscious form could hit the ground, Jetset was behind Bulls-Eye, pushing up his shades.

-Sweet dreams.-

Stunned, Blueblood watched as the two guards fell over simultaneously, his brain on fire with a myriad of questions: what just happened? Was that Jetset? Why? Wasn’t he his auntie’s personal guard? Why was he here?

>This can’t be good….

“Huh.”

PJ lowered her weapon, having been ready to duel, and just blinked.

“I see why they call you Haymaker now.”

‘Yeah, well… I have a negative tolerance for insubordination, it brings out the worst in me. I know the situation is stressful but that’s no reason to let your own bias get in the way of duty.’

-And speaking of duty.-

Digging into his pocket, Jetset made his way to Haymaker, handing him the signed form.

-Orders from the Princess. Blueblood’s outside excursion has just been increased to when they return.-

There was no way Blueblood had heard right despite the sudden leap of his heart.

>Auntie…? Sh-she gave me more t-

-No. Not her. Applejack.-

>…

Haymaker lowered the note with a soft smile.

‘Yup, it’s all legit. Blueblood, you got two more days, man! How ‘bout that, huh?’

>It’s a lie.

‘What?’

>It’s… that can’t be. She wouldn’t do that for me, not after what I’ve done. And why would she? I tried to kill her! I even missed and wound up winging that dragon!

“Spike.”

>It’s got to be a trick….

‘Nope. Looks pretty clear cut and dry here, Bluey. Two extra days, Princess Applejack.’

>WHY?

He didn’t know why he was shouting, or why he was getting upset. He’d just been given the time needed to see his auntie again… smiles, not anger, right?

Jetset only glanced at Blueblood.

-Here’s something you might not know. You serve under two very benevolent mares, a princess and a Queen. If it were up to me, or anyone else, you’d be dead. But they believe in second chances, hence Chrysalis. So that’s mainly why I’m here. I’m here to make sure those second chances don’t get a second chance to do anything stupid. So take your two days, Blueblood, and make the most of them. Be happy, be grateful- and you better damn well show some appreciation when they return. I’ll be watching.-

The spot where Jetset stood was suddenly vacant.

>…

“Oh for crying out loud, don’t start crying again! This was fun! And fortuitous! You get two more days! You get to see everyone else!”

>…

“…You want a potato? Let me get you a potato.”

‘Um, have we met, Miss…?’

“PotatoJack, but you can call me PJ. And, uh… shouldn’t you be getting your two friends there to the hospital or something?”

‘One of them’s heading for a court-martial and the other can stay out for all I care. Pass me a potato. Got any extra?’

“Ha. What a silly question to ask the potato queen.”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Spike"
~~~~~

If anyone else had been in the hallway at the moment, they would have been privy to quite the interesting sight.

The Queen of all Changelings, moonwalking down the hallway.

>Cause I'm a thrilling~! Thrilling Queen~! The sexiest goddamn Queen that you have ever seen~! I'm a thrilling~! Thrilling Queen~! So come and get a slice of this killer, thriller, deliiiight!~

"OW!"

Were it any other day, she would have probably screamed at whoever she had backed into for throwing off her groove. But with as light as she was today?

>HAH! Sorry, 18 puts the craziest shit in my head...

"Yeah, well, try to watch where-"

Without a word, she brushed past him, her steps just a bit quicker than normal.

"So, what, you're just going to run away whenever you see me now?"

Her happy air long since soured and dead, flaming emerald eyes turned on the one she had been trying to leave behind.

Spike was unmoved.

>I do not run from someone I could turn into pudding if I felt like it. Literal pudding. I've seen the recipe from Sciderella, and I'm told you taste fantastic. Well, not you specifically, but I'm sure I could choke down your dumb ass for the satisfaction.

"Well, glad to see we could remain such close friends."

>We're as close now as we've ever been.

"Oh, that's good to hear. Gonna give me more dating advice?"

>Yeah, fuck everything I said before and just go makeout with that gun of yours. Get in deep, real deep, then see if she likes it when you mess with her trigger.

"At least have the decency to let me know if it was the blackmail thing that's still pissing you off, or that I shot your dear 'auntie' in the head."

>...Clearly, the former. Why would I have a problem with you ineffectually challenging someone above your weightclass? I wish you would do it more often. And then lose. Permanently.

"Going with that, really?"

>What? She's an enemy of practically every state there is out there, I have no ties to her, directly or indirectly. Did I ever tell you her and my mother weren't 'really' sisters? No biology, for obvious reasons... well, obvious to me, and possibly you depending on how free Twi-tike is with certain... sensitive information.

"Can't think of anything that fits the bill of what you could be talking about."

>Hm... well, in any case, you may now stop talking to me, and go find a nice tall spike with which to sit upon and sink in nice and low. If you want to keep trying to kill Chitania, go right ahead. I won't stop you. I won't root for you either though, fair warning.

A tired sigh escaped his lips.

"Yeah, figured you were going to be like this. Not that I mind, you're pure bitch rolled up in more bitch and then slathered with bitchsauce, so you not liking me is probably a compliment. Guess I'll at least give you points for trying to walk away instead of trash talking out the gate."

>No no, you giving me an excuse was very appreciated, how else could I voice my desire to see what color dragon brains are?

"You going to be like this all the time?"

>Of course not, you stupid sack of scales. I'll act civil around others, especially Twilight and Shiny, but I want you to know, underneath it all is a little grub. A little grub who, even now, wishes there was a way to set fire to you and have it stick.

"Fine, and I guess I'll extend the same courtesy. And also extend the same desire to see you covered underneath sixteen tons of bug spray."

>Unnecessary, you can act however the fuck you want. Unlike you, I have to worry about Applejack finally snapping and tossing my hive's collective ass out into Everfree, and unfortunately you just so happen to be the resident dragon shaped blow up doll of the one with her hoof on the catapult, so I'll play mostly nice. Mostly.

"...yeah... no idea what that threat feels like..."

>Course you don't, the top white horse of them all raised you, the several times savior wants you around, and Appleass is craving some grape-drake. Forgive me if your little act seems insincere. Besides, there's a goddamn statue of you in the Crystal Empire, which is total bullshit since I saved the place looking way cooler than you, but it's not like you're out of options if they do realize what a little shit you are and send you packing.

"Is that really still there?"

>Who knows, I might deface it later, just for kicks. Maybe make Maney have an 'accident'. Who knows? Now fuck off, I've got places to be.

Once again, she started trudging down the hallway.

Only to be stopped when he spoke up again.

"What if I said sorry?"

She froze, her back still to him. And there she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"...I mean, I'm not, you deserved that, but if I did-"

She didn't even wait for him to finish. To her credit, she did not slam the door to the staircase, just quickly, but quietly.

"...I wonder what that says about my person that I don't feel bad, and that I want her to know it?"

Nobody answered him, of course.

Nobody had to, he knew.
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>Suckerpunch
"41"
'Spike'

>Gaaah...I hate this, I hate it so much.

"Hey you don't HAVE to use the stairs, there's a perfectly good water slide!"

>...

"Oh right."

>Must...find dragon...must...kill dragon...

"Wait, what?"

>What?

"What was that last bit?"

>Must report to dragon and politely let him know that he shouldn't assign someone on a fact finding mission if he's going to play hide and seek with them afterward.

"Oh, cool."

>I swear to Faust on high, I have gone past that pile of stuffed animals with the little hats before.

"Speaking of, can you get me one?"

>Huh?

"Grab me one of those things, they're neat."

>Why can't you get one?

"Because the pile growled at me and the plant next to it tried to sell me something, and the ice box said something about not feeling its nose anymore."

>...

"This hotel is weird."

>Amen to that, now I think if we take a le-OOF!

'Ow!'

"Dude you gotta work on that whole 'coordination' thing."

>*cough*Myfuckingchest!

"Aw ya ba-HEY!"

'Uh, hi. I was actually wondering where you two were.'

>WHERE WE WERE!?

'Yeah, I just asked you guys to give me an idea of what was going on in there, I figured they had a brochure or something. I didn't expect it to last that long.'

Sucker Punch's eye twitches.

"Yeah, it was a pretty long thing, total snoozefest. Oh, shit, but they have this zap apple cider stuff? Ohhhh love, that was the good stuff!"

'No kidding? Anything else?'

>Why yes! Yes indeed! Here's the short version: Robots! Science! Toys! Science! Cup Holders! Science! Oh and...what am I forgetting? Oh yeah, THIS!

Punch holds up his hoof, Spike's jaw drop.

'What happened to you!?'

>That Infusion thing? It's super powers in a cup! I got a hoof full of lightning and I'm scared to even sneeze!

'I-that's-how-...damn...'

>No kidding! The heck do I do with this thing!?

'Twilight should probably take a look at it, but she's earned this vacation...hmmm...'

>What's that look? I don't like that look.

'Is there any way you could keep your hoof like that until we get back to Canterlot?'

>...I will thunder punch you.

"Aw come on, it looks awesome, and it'll help us get the drop on those douchebags in case they try something."

>But I-

"I'll help you make sure it doesn't go off."

>You'd do that?

"C'mon, what're best friends for?"

>...thanks. Seriously, thanks.

'So thanks for your help, I gotta track some people down.'

>Hey, just remember, you owe us, big time!

'Sure, I got you.'

"Oh hey, if you see the Queen, tell her 'Off Brand Punchbug' needs to tell her about something!"

'...yeah, sure, I'll...do that.'

Spike walks away.

>...Off Brand Punchbug?

"Yeah, I don't get it either. So, our room?"

>Yeah, we'll get the key for it, after I get you one of those stuffed animal-OW! It bit me!

"Told you! I told you it was alive!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon continuation

>Chrysalis
“Arana”
‘Spike’
______

>I deserved it, he says, tch! Fucking dragons and their fucking pompous ways and their fucking fucked up fucks….

It was almost childish, the way Chrysalis continued on, no longer doing a little jig or singing, but instead speaking a vocabulary consisting primarily of the f-word.

Cursing scared her.

Not her, Chrysalis… her, the trembling Spiderling silently keeping pace with the queen from above the rafters, a pair of legs quickly and diligently working to meld a cap.

>Little bitch dragon, I’ll show him one day… Gonna talk about apologizing then just renege like it doesn’t matter! Two-dicked prick, fuck him!

Thread by thread….

Stitching it together….

She didn’t quite know when she had started humming that tune, or when she had memorized it from Rarity, but she had to do something, something to keep that foul language from causing her to drop.

Because if she did, there was no one else around to save her.

Which equated to death.

Yard by yard!

Never stressed!

>One day, I swear on Chitania’s absurdly huge ass, I-

Exactly what she wanted to swear on Chitania’s ass she never finished, for at that moment a top hat fell over her noggin, nestled nice and snug between her flickering ears. When she immediately froze, Arana knew her plan had worked and wasted no time in dropping from the ceiling directly in front of her.

>…

“…”

When she wasn’t outright torn limb from limb, Arana anxiously reached up with her forelegs. Almost robotically, Chrysalis responded by dipping her head and allowing the little Spiderling to get her in a hug, one that the Queen returned with one leg around the youngers back.

>…

After one comforting squeeze, Arana took off down the hall as though shot from a cannon, all of her extra legs working furiously to get her as far away from the Queen as possible.

“Must go must go must go, gonna die gonna die gonna die, need love need love need love, fading fast, fading fa- SPIKE!”

The called dragon barely had time to turn around before he was bowled over and to the ground, the Spiderling clutching onto his front for dear life.

“LOVE ME LOVE ME GONNA DIE LOVE ME!”

It was almost comedic, the way Spike’s face remained void of any surprise. It took a few seconds but he eventually managed to free one of his claws and give her head a good rubbing.

‘You’re the best, Ara’, and don’t let anyone ever tell you different, you here me? You’re not mean, you don’t like hurting other ponies and you are by far one of my favorite Changelings, spider legs and all.’

The sincerity of his words brought the waning light back to Arana’s eyes and she blinked them furiously, blinked away the encroaching darkness. She sighed with relief and climbed off Spike, helping him to his feet.

“Thanks, Spike, you’re the best! Gotta go now!”

And Spike watched as she once again took off. He didn’t need to ask what that whole thing was about as Applejack had filled him in after the first time. He might not have know what she’d used it on, but that was definitely the side-effect of one of her command weaves, and obviously a big one if it brought her near death like that.

‘Note to self: bop that little idiot upside the head for risking her life again. I almost wish Blueblood were here so he could deal with this….’

But what she had risked her life to do was merely hug Chrysalis, who she found was quite warm despite her cold tongue. It was a hug that Chrysalis, now coming out of her stupor and wondering where in the hell she’d gotten that fashionable hat from, would never recall… but she would feel the slight influx of love come the morning.

>What a cool little hat… I’m keeping this.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________