Username: Ghost-Quartet

Rowlet: 5 I’ll be honest with you, I’ve always found Rowlet to be heavily overrated but I can’t say that on tumblr because I have mutuals that love it. Why is it a Grass type? Because it’s wearing a bow-tie? It feels half-baked, but they knew they’d get away with it because it’s cute.

Dartrix: 6 I went to high school with a guy who looked like this. I actually think it’s more aesthetically pleasing than Rowlet but the overall design is still a bit too… dandy?

Decidueye: 7.5 Decidueye finally makes the concept of the Rowlet line make sense and it’s probably my favorite final form starter of its generation, but this was a weak generation for starters overall.

Litten: 3 It certainly is a cat! Designs like Litten really emphasize how overly rounded and plastic Pokemon designs became in later generations. The stripes on the leg + the weird squiggle on the face aren’t a strong design choice and there really isn’t a concept here. Boot.

Torracat: 5 I’ve always been a “middle stage apologist” and I’ll continue that trend here, this is my favorite of its evolutionary line. Its design is super cluttered but I think that the excess at least works somewhat, and the “fire organ that looks like a bell around its neck” is at least *something*. It has personality and looks like it probably hangs out next to a vending machine smoking.

Incineroar: 4 Why did they put this thing into Smash? The Fire/Dark “wrestling heel” idea is cute and I get that they were trying to pull a bait and switch on everyone expecting another Fire/Fighting starter, but part of the reason we disliked those was because we were tired of constantly getting anthropomorphic animals with the same play style. The Grass/Water starters have such diversity and interesting character designs amongst their lineups while the Fire types are all just… furry bait.

Popplio: 9 I quite like Popplio, it’s definitely my favorite of the starters introduced this generation. I do low-key have a soft spot for clown aesthetics and I think they integrated it well into the thematics of Popplio. The design is clean, simple, memorable, and effective. However I do have to point out that Pokemon already has a line of seal Pokemon based around balancing balls on their noses, and if we’re being honest I do still prefer the Spheal line. Spheal in general is one of the best designs Game Freak has ever done, stan Spheal.

Brionne: 5 Even I won’t try to say that this design is anything other than weird looking but like a lot of middle stages the awkwardness at least feels intentional in an “adolescent” sense. It’s appropriate that it’s a Water type because the accoutrements on the body are drowning this poor thing.

Primarina: 6 Having the gender ratios of starter Pokemon be predominately male is an act of violence. Primarina is something of a mixed bag for me. It feels like there’s supposed to be an “ugly duckling” kind of thing happening with awkward pre-evolutions ending in an “elegant” final form, but I think it fails because the setup and payoff don’t really match. Popplio and Brionne are clearly clowns, so having the final form be based off of an opera singer feels like a copout. I like the idea of a siren/mermaid seal but it doesn’t really line up with what came before it. The design isn’t very good either, it’s clearly trying to be beautiful but just ends up looking tacky and a little “uncanny valley,” plus the way that they’ve almost given it an hourglass figure feels kind of gross. I wish they’d just committed to the clown theme and made some kind of big, derpy looking clown based off of an elephant seal, but that would be far too bold of a move for a starter Pokemon I guess.

Pikipek: 4 The “early game bird” Pokemon is a tough niche to nail and I don’t think that this quite does it for me. It’s a little bit too simple for my tastes, it’s just a cartoony rendering of a woodpecker. Which, granted, there are a lot of Pokemon like that, but there doesn’t seem to be any kind of twist or anything here.

Trumbeak: 2 [Alessia Cara - Growing Pains](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJWR9T7ihns&frags=pl%2Cwn)

Toucannon: 7 There are a number of Pokemon that just look like an animal, but I think Toucannon takes the cake because it’s literally just a toucan. The real life appearance of a toucan is already so outlandish there wasn’t much they needed to do to bring it into the world of Pokemon, and I appreciate that they didn’t do more than they needed to. Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction I guess. Oh, but they also [turned it into a giant gun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQt362Mclzc&frags=pl%2Cwn), which is one of the campiest things to come out of Pokemon in a while. I’m usually not a fan of these three stage early game birds but I think this is a fun take on it that’s very appropriate for a tropical setting.

Yungoos: 1 look… it’s ugly. I get the “invasive mongoose” concept but it’s *ugly*, and not even fun ugly.

Gumshoos: 1 I hope whoever designed this got fired. It’s just a big ugly rat thing bisected by a yellow line that also has a mullet. It barely even has good stats, I don’t understand why anyone would want to use this.

Grubbin: 8.5 Ha! It’s a plug, get it? This feels like it could be a real bug.

Charjabug: 10 A battery as the middle stage of a bug line (usually reserved for a [“cocoon”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlXkYYyOe_Q&frags=pl%2Cwn) form) is brilliant and the bold design choices pay off. It’s amazing how something like making the eyes square can take a design from “that’s kinda weird” to “this is the best thing ever.” [Also there’s an episode of the anime where they drive around in little cars!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewobkYEJazQ)

Vikavolt: 7.5 I loved the two pre-evolutions so this was always probably going to be something of a letdown but I feel like Vikavolt has a somewhat awkward design. However it’s also a very “organic” design, even though it still looks like something from the *Transformers* universe it also kind of feels like it could be a real insect? So I’ll give it a pass.

Crabrawler: 9 LAND CRAB! I’ve loved pretty much every crustacean Pokemon that they’ve had and Crabrawler is no exception, it’s a great translation of land dwelling crabs into the Pokemon universe. It should be Fighting/Bug though, I don’t know why Game Freak refuses to acknowledge that crabs are arthropods.

Crabominable: 9 Cryptozoology was BIG for me as a kid so I’m glad we have a “yeti” based Pokemon now, and one that’s a giant crab is even better. While I have qualms about how difficult this thing is to obtain in game I love its silly design and the way that it blends mammalian features with the structure of a crab. Like, it has paws where its claws should be, that’s so weird and quirky. I wish there was a more compelling narrative about *why* this thing evolves out of Crabrawler, there should be a “carp that swims over the waterfall to become a dragon” involving the mountain that they evolve on or something because the actual explanation of “it got lost and evolved fur” feels underwritten.

Oricorio: 8.5 I actually quite like Oricorio, it’s gimmicky of course but we’ve had a lot of gimmicky Pokemon and this is at least a good gimmick. It highlights the “multiple islands” design of Alola well in a way that’s actually useful in game. I hope (if this thing returns for later games) that we get to see more forms for other regions! They can have like, a river dance themed one for Galar, it’ll be perfect.

Cutiefly: 8.7 I was really harsh on Ribombee (no shade but I’m writing this in past tense because this thing will 100% rank higher than its evolution) and part of that is because I think it spoils the promise that Cutiefly has. Not only does Cutiefly live up to its name (it’s adorable) it actually has a fairly interesting concept. Real life insects pick up on ultraviolet light reflections from plants that are invisible to our eyes, so the idea of an insect that picks up on our imperceptible *auras* (something established in the Pokemon universe by the existence of Lucario) actually makes a lot of sense. It’s not tied into their concept as well as it could be (they feed on nectar so the aura thing is kind of pointless) but it’s still a neat idea.

Ribombee: 4 This is something that I should like but honestly don’t all that much. I think this thing has a clunky and amateurish design; it’s as if you told someone the features that were considered cute (big eyes, smiles, heart shapes, softness) and then they combined them without any knowledge of how those features interacted and then we just ended up with a creepy uncanny valley thing. Which would make sense if it were like, secretly evil or something, but a) they already did this “pretty but dangerous bug” schtick with Beautifly and b) this thing is actually supposed to be benevolent. I think “really cute butterfly that’s friends with everybody” is way too straightforward and saccharine of a concept for the franchise, I’m not sure why this is here.

Rockruff: 5 It’s another Pokemon that just feels uninspired to me. It could at least have the decency to be cute. “Rock collar” is a neat concept but it’s not pushed far enough so this ends up looking more like a generic Normal type than anything else.

Lycanroc: 6.3 Nintendo, we get it, you want that furry dollar. The Midday and Dusk forms feel a bit too much like generic wolves but it’s saved by the hunched, intimidating Midnight form.

Wishiwashi: 8.5 This is probably one of most creative Pokemon concepts we’ve seen in the franchise, with a great design to match. Unique eyes are a great way to make a Pokemon stand out and the watery, blobby pupils of the base form are the perfect blend of cute and pathetic, conveying exactly what type of creature this little minnow is. But then when it forms its secondary form and we get those hollow “eyes” with a single fish as a pupil (slanted so it looks angry) it’s just… perfect. All of that being said, while I respect Wishiwashi I don’t actually like them all that much. I appreciate that we have a Pokemon with design and gameplay as bold as this in the game, but its gimmicky ability means it’s a huge pain to use.

Mareanie: 10 In my opinion this is one of the defining Pokemon of Generation 7, it perfectly sums up the design principles that defined this generation. Vibrant colors, soft rounded edges, tropical vibes, ugly-cute, weirdly dark lore. Apparently the Pokemon company agreed because they made it a member of Team Rocket (in the coveted “obsessed with James” slot) and gave it stats and abilities that let it dominate the competitive scene. It’s simply iconic! Leave Corsola alone though sweetie.

Toxapex: 10 The little central body hanging inside the mass of arms is such a creative design that I don’t even mind how kind of awkward it is. The switch from sprite graphics to 3D models is one that I loathe but I do have to acknowledge that it allows for Pokemon designs like this (which would otherwise be too cumbersome for a sprite) to happen.

Mudbray: 7 I feel like I’ve said this several times in these Pokemon rates but the eyes are *such* an important part of the Pokemon, if Mudbray’s pupils had just been round it would have been a 4 (because it is just a mule) but those oblong pupils are adorable so its score shoots way up.

Mudsdale: 8 In theory I should be disappointed by Mudsdale because it’s not as cute as its pre-evolution but I kind of like it more than Mudbray? I love that huge mane and how it looks like mud dripping off of it, and the idea of horseshoes made from mud is really clever as well. The design is still kind of clunky and ugly but it definitely is successful in conveying a “function over fashion” work horse so I’ll let it slide.

Dewpider: 10 I really love this thing, it’s such a clever take on a diving bell spider and it’s absolutely adorable. This is the Water/Bug that we’ve been waiting for, it MORE than makes up for that Suskrit debacle.

Araquanid: 9 I like how big and imposing this thing is. It also low-key has a bit of alien vibe to it (note the [Grey](https://image.shutterstock.com/image-illustration/grey-alien-260nw-95442946.jpg) vibes on the eyes) which is an extra little bit of flavor that I like. But the body/head/leg ratio leave a little something to be desired, it looks kind of ungainly, which knocks it down a point. Also it’s fun to note that the Sun/Moon Pokedex entries for it are completely opposite.

Fomantis: 10 While Generation 5 actually introduced the most Bug *type* Pokemon, I feel like Generation 7 introduced the most bugs overall, even if they weren’t all assigned the type. The orchid mantis is a species that was just *begging* to be made into a Pokemon and I’m glad that when they finally did it it was such a slam dunk; flipping it so that it’s actually a *plant* pretending to be a bug is a great flip on the concept. Plus this thing is so cute! One of my favorites of the generation.

Lurantis: 10 There’s a lot that I could say about Lurantis but all I’m gonna say is that I like that it looks like it’s wearing silly striped pants.

Morelull: 9.5 These things are cute! I’m surprised it took us seven generations to get a mushroom Pokemon in this vein, the “will-o’-the-wisp” glow in the dark concept seems fairly obvious but I think they delivered on it well. Speaking of the “will-o’-the-wisp” thing, this was a good use of the Fairy type. I’m glad that a number of Fairy types actually tend to skew more towards the creepy end of the spectrum because it keeps the Fairy type from becoming as boring as it had the potential to be.

Shiinotic: 10 This Pokemon has a striking silhouette, the blank face on the tiny body dwarfed by the huge head is kind of awkward, but it’s effective. Look at its dead, sunken eyes. There’s a Pokedex entry that describes it fighting with Parasect over territory which is… interesting? I love that Pokemon has two completely different life draining mushroom species. Its shiny is ugly for some reason.

Salandit: 3 It has that whole “males don’t evolve” thing going on that Combee does, but Combee had a better design that worked with that. The perpetually juvenile male Combee still had a striking design that befitted their role as underlings; meanwhile male Salandit *looks* like it’s going to evolve into something else, but never will. It’s an unfortunate example of a gimmick gone awry.

Salazzle: 4 While I like the idea of Salazzle (sexy salamander siren that brainwashes males through poisonous pheromones is a great concept for a Fire/Poison Pokemon) I think it has a bad design. I’ll excuse the lizard tiddies because they fit with the concept but I think overall the design is just underwhelming. They were going for sleek, but they went too sleek and we just ended up with the silhouette of a furry in a wetsuit.

Stufful: 7 I’m… mixed on Stufful. It’s a Pokemon that I should love because I’m a hoe for stuffed animals and pink Normal types but its design leaves something to be desired. The proportions are all off, it seems like the head is way too huge. Which, like, that’s the concept I guess? Maybe if they took the ears off I’d like it more, or conversely, if they’d leaned into the “toy” concept more and made it even more artificial looking. It’s a neat idea for a Pokemon but I wish that they’d taken it further in both story and design.

Bewear: 6 I love this thing in the anime but it’s awkward looking. It looks like a child drew this thing, which, like, is kind of the concept, but surely there was another way.

Bounsweet: 5 Ordinarily I eat cute little Pokemon like this up (pun not intended) but this just feels so… uninspired? It’s cute but there’s nothing particularly original or interesting about it, compared to its contemporaries like Hoppip or Cherrim it really fails to stand out. The concept can’t just be “vore.”

Steenee: 4 They literally made a runway model Pokemon, okay. Another awkward middle stage that’s entirely undistinguished beyond being “cute.”

Tsareena: 1 Fetish bait. Really not a fan of this thing, the design is cluttered and ugly and it doesn’t cover any conceptual ground that Lilligant didn’t already do better. Plus the fact that it’s a fruit doesn’t even factor into any aspect of its lore or personality?

Comfey: 5 I feel like if we made a list of most forgettable Pokemon, Comfey would be on there. There’s nothing *wrong* with it but then also there’s just nothing to say about it. Poor thing doesn’t even have a gimmick.

Oranguru: 8.9 I was tepid on this thing when it debuted but then I used one in game because I needed something to fill the last slot on my team so now I have a soft spot for it. I do like the “wise sage of the forest” concept, it’s not the most creative but shockingly it’s one we haven’t seen before in the franchise so it plays out pretty well, plus Normal/Psychic is a surprisingly uncommon type combination so I can’t even say that the “Psychic” ape thing is played out. It’s got a solid enough design, you can’t go wrong with a white ape and I love the shaggy “shawl” of fur.

Passimian: 7 Monkeys in general aren’t that interesting to me but I think that the “berry sports player” concept is cute and allows for a lot of fun possibilities. I wish it looked less like a regular lemur though. It’s a bit unremarkable and doomed to be forgotten but it’s a solid addition to the Pokedex.

Wimpod: 8 Personally this is a kind of bug that I find really gross in real life but I respect it as a Pokemon.

Golisopod: 7.5 Idk why but this doesn’t quite do it for me. The design is cool but it feels a bit too… straightforward? I get that the joke is that this thing presents a tough exterior despite being a coward but the visage is a little too sleek for my tastes, to the point where it just ends up boring to look at.

Sandygast: 9 Ghost has always been a weird elemental type because it raises a lot of questions that the Pokemon franchise doesn’t seem interested in asking, and we’ve seen Ghost types that possess physical objects before (Banette) and even ghosts that are explicitly dead humans (Yamask) so I don’t think that a haunted sandcastle is that fare out of left field. If anything it reminds me a bit of the “Frosty The Snowman” archetype but like, on the beach, and with more murder. One of the campiest Pokemon of the generation.

Palossand: 10 [check out this fun official Pokemon art](https://www.bogleech.com/pokemon/allpokes/palossandchu.png)

Pyukumuku: 8 Cute, but useless. I admire the boldness of taking up a Pokedex slot with a Pokemon that 95% of players will never want to use, I do enjoy a good gimmick Pokemon from time to time and if anyone was going to get this gimmick I’m glad it’s the cute sea cucumber thing. I should complain that having a giant cartoon hand shoot out of its anus mouth doesn’t feel like it fits in the Pokemon universe but it’s so hilarious that I’m completely down for it.

Type Null: 6 My initial comment for this thing was just “pointless” but I reevaluated it and I feel like that was a bit harsh. This thing has a backstory that’s needlessly complicated and tryhard edgy (*man’s attempt at creating an Ultra Beast killer from the DNA of dangerous Pokemon) but the end result is a solidly designed Pokemon. I like how it has a bunch of mismatching parts, I’d say I wish they took the concept further but they do that in the next generation and it sucks so yeah… Also the headpiece is really cool, it looks like a weird weathervane and I’m here for it.

Silvally: 1 The helmet was the best part of Type Null and they took it off so all we’re left with is this pointless legendary.

Minior: 8 Remember back in Generation 5 and they introduced Alomomola and we all assumed it would be the evolution of Luvdisc but then it wasn’t and we were like “then what was the point?” That’s Minior for Lunatone/Solrock, this thing seems like it was designed to be a pre-evolution but then like, it’s just not. As such it feels a little random and kind of shrimpy for a single stage Pokemon (plus does it feel weird to anyone else that it’s part Flying rather than Psychic?) but it’s still a solid design. I like the “exposed core” gimmick, and it’s got one of the most creative shiny forms in the series. As a sidebar, I really think they could start getting more creative with shiny colors now that they aren’t limited in how they can handle palates like they were when everything was sprites.

Komala: 5 I don’t think this thing needs to exist, it’s a gimmick Pokemon gone wrong. But pour one out for koalas, my heart breaks for such a senseless loss.

Turtonator: 5.4 You know what’s wild about this? This is the first non-legendary/mega Dragon/Fire type in the franchise, and it’s a *fire breathing turtle*. I have to give Game Freak props because the Dragon type could easily have been a bunch of cliches but instead there’s a lot of weirdos. That being said, although the concept of a Dragon/Fire is new, Turtonator kinda doesn’t? Like we already had a Fire type anteater back in Generation 5 that looked weirdly similar, plus a Fire type camel before that, and a Fire type slug before that. If anything I feel like this was a missed opportunity to give us a Fire/Water type (other than Volcanion, because wtf was that).

Togedemaru: 1 This looks like a toy I’d find in a sketchy outdoor Asian market. The design is ugly as hell and it’s super annoying to fight in game because it has Iron Barbs. Boot.

Mimikyu: 7.5 Another “makes no sense lore wise” Pokemon (every single Pokemon of this species finds the same Pikachu costume?) but a wildly popular one this time. I get the appeal but personally it’s always felt a little too much like a character from an early 2000s Nicktoon a la *Invader Zim* for me to like. A little too “lol it’s cute but AcTUALLY DARK AND CREEPY.” But Game Freak knew what they were doing when they unleashed this thing on the world.

Bruxish: 4 You didn’t hear it from me but sometimes there are too many random fish in the Pokedex. This thing has a polarizing design and I lean more towards the “dislike” end of the spectrum; I get why it’s so gaudy and busy but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. What I do love, however, is that this thing randomly has an incredibly powerful signature move that would probably be really good on the competitive scene if anybody was actually willing to use this thing.

Drampa: 5 Game Freak said “you know what kids love? old people.” This is another one that I feel leans too far onto the cartoony end of the spectrum to really feel like a Pokemon for me. Even the strangest looking Pokemon usually have some sort of real life reference point to ground them but Drampa feels like it’s coming from another fantasy universe entirely. There’s something to be admired about that kind of creativity, but I’d be more into it if there were a compelling reason for this thing to look so odd (which there isn’t really) or if the end results were more aesthetically pleasing. The overly long neck jutting out of the tiny shapeless body is really awkward biology and the oversized wings swallow the design up further. The face is unique at least, I like how the eyes look like glasses. But that hair is bad. Just a super random Pokemon overall, I’ll be curious to see how it ages.

Dhelmise: 8.7 This is a contender for THE weirdest Pokemon ever released. Ghostly algae that drags around an anchor it uses to beat the shit out of whales. I like how they anthropomorphized it though by giving it an “eye” via the compass, that was very creative of them. I think the thing that’s most shocking about it though [is how big it is.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27dHsLRPIIk) Obviously I’d love to live in the world of Pokemon but like, imagine stuff like this just being out there in the ocean, it’s terrifying.

Jangmo-o: 4 Awkward baby, I like how the shiny makes the heart on its head pink. Compared to the other Pokemon that fill this niche it comes up short.

Hakamo-o: 6 I’m not a scaly, but…

Kommo-o: 7 I appreciate the dedication to the design and the excess of it. Fighting/Dragon was a type combo that was bound to come up and I think that this delivers pretty well, the “club tailed glyptodont” type thing was expected but the armored scales/kung-fu monk was not.

Tapu Koko: 1 Game Freak, STOP putting in unnecessary legendaries that just screw with the competitive scene! Power creep was inevitable with Pokemon but in order to make newer Pokemon “special” Game Freak keeps giving them increasingly ridiculous stats/gimmicks, and the Tapus are the peak of that. As “guardian deities” or whatever they’re meant to be a little different from normal Pokemon but they don’t even really feel like they belong in the Pokemon universe. I dislike all of them on principle, but Koko is by far my least favorite. The “bird head” design is weird and I don’t like how the story railroads you into interacting with it so pointlessly. I hate it when the game tries to force me to think that uninteresting but overpowered Pokemon are special. (@Lucario @Zoroak @Greninja)

Tapu Lele: 4 At least it’s pink.

Tapu Bulu: 5 I guess Tapu Bulu is my favorite of the Tapus? It feels the most like something that would be a normal Pokemon to me instead of whatever weird fairy gods the game frames them as, and its tail is a cow bell.

Tapu Fini: 4 This one actually has a really pretty design but it just doesn’t look like a Pokemon. This seems like the villain in a magical girl anime.

Cosmog: 9 Is it pointless and gimmicky as hell? Yes, of course, this is later generations Pokemon after all, but for once I’m willing to overlook that because of the great design. This sort of “galaxy” color scheme is always to die for and I like how Cosmog just looks like a little blob of space that coalesced into a Pokemon. And that little face is just adorable, it manages to charm its way into my heart. Plus unlike a lot of the legendaries in this generation it still feels like a Pokemon, albeit a very special one. It has quite possibly the laziest shiny in the series though.

Cosmoem: 6 It’s a cocoon Pokemon, a legendary one, but a cocoon nonetheless. It has a bit of a weird design, kind of looking like a magic mirror or something, but I don’t really see what more they could have done to it. It gets the job across of conveying that Cosmog is being condensed into a physical form, so it’s a necessary evil.

Solgaleo: 1 Come on. I get that there’s only so many ways to do a lion but [this looks like a Power Rangers Zord.](https://youtu.be/4pCYQ1jTzcQ?t=41) It ditches everything that’s interesting about its pre evolutions and is far inferior to Lunala in basically every aspect. There’s usually a subtle masculine/feminine thing going on between the two different games in a generation but I think they went too far trying to make this thing #masc. Also, its ability to open up ultra wormholes (the entire reason it’s in the game) is not explained or integrated into its lore/design in any way.

Lunala: 9.2 It’s *almost* too busy for me to like it but I think it’s a really pretty design overall. This thing looks ornate and elegant yet powerful and imposing, like a vampire queen or something. It carries over the “galaxy” color scheme of is prior forms, and the way that it resembles a portal when its wings spread is a neat indicator of its function in game. A bad that lives in another dimension rather than in a cave is a good through line as well. I do think it’s strange that we’re getting another moon legendary in the series (also that Cresselia was like, not acknowledged at all in Pokemon *Moon*) but I love moon concept Pokemon so again, it’s totally fine with me.

Nihilego: 10 This thing has a really cool, almost haunting design. Jellyfish (which it superficially resembles) don’t have faces, but the way that the body is shaped like a hat/hair and surrounding a shadowy hollow in its body cleverly suggests that there *should* be one there, which is very unsettling and ties in nicely to its parasitic abilities. Rock/Poison is such a weird typing but it makes sense in how it further emphasizes their alien nature, plus their heartlessness. I have mixed feelings about the story of Sun/Moon, but Nihilego as the stealth antagonist of the games was a very good choice. The descent into Ultra Space surrounded by these beautiful but terrifying creatures, leading to the final fight with Lusamine, is one of the coolest climaxes in the series.

Buzzwole: 8.7 For once I’m *not* going to complain that something looks out of place in the Pokemon universe, because as an Ultra Beast that’s actually part of the appeal. It’s so campy in the best way possible, I like how they took something so ordinarily reviled and viewed as week and made it look like a twisted parody of a superhero. It looks and acts like an old-timey bodybuilder, which is equally hilarious, and even more hilariously its posing is implied to be it trying to *communicate*. In the glimpse we see of the planet it comes from [all the trees are flexing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=offXKm6Il6M), so maybe this is a planet where everything evolved to communicate through physical gestures rather than speech? It’s a neat idea. Also here’s a fun fact, only female mosquitoes drink blood, so theoretically Buzzswole are a female only species.

Pheromosa: 5.4 The idea of an elegant, neat freak cockroach is a fun one but I’m not entirely sold on Pheromosa. The whole “pure evolved life form” alien archetype has never done much for me. Overall I think this is one of the less interesting Ultra Beasts, unlike the other Ultra Beasts it doesn’t pose any interesting questions or have any sort of unusual biology. Even its homeworld is a fairly vanilla gem encrusted desert, though we do get a brief glimpse of some sort of stone structure that resembles a palace that it may live in.

Xurkitree: 8.2 One thing that the Pokemon vaguely touches on is the relationship between human inventions and Pokemon. Numerous Pokemon resemble/use human inventions, but it’s never made explicitly clear which came first. Did Voltorb evolve to look like a Pokeball? Or did humans craft Pokeballs in the image of Voltorb? So I like that that’s the direction that they took Xurkitree in. In the glimpse beget of Xurkitree’s homeworld we see a lightning ravaged planet covered in massive wires, is copper wire wrapped in rubber just so efficient that Xurkitree evolved into it to utilize this power and humans discovered it separately to utilize electricity on our planet? Or is there something deeper happening here?  I think that’s the coolest feature of a lot of Ultra Beasts, the way they tap into questions and ideas like that. As for Xurkitree itself, in the glimpse we get of its home world it skips around like a little kid, which is adorable. Plus it’s an electric tree, like… the brilliance…

Celesteela: 8.6 This gets a good score if just for the sheer AUDACITY of the designers to make something this weird and ungainly. Like, this looks like nothing I’ve ever seen before, truly alien. I enjoy the weird biological juxtapositions of its design, like, it looks/eats like a plant, but also it can fly and its made of steel. The glimpse we get of its home planet shows them growing in the ground and randomly blasting off into space, it’s simple but unusual choices like that that make Ultra Beasts feel otherworldly.

Kartana: 7.4 Despite a cool design I actually find Kartana to be a little bland in and of itself, but supplemental materials make it a bit more interesting. For example, in Ultra Sun and Moon the planet that it lives on is inhabited by humans who seem to worship it, which isn’t exceptionally strange since we do meet some other humans in Ultra Space, but also the anime reveals it’s one of the Pokemon capable of creating Ultra Wormholes by itself… did it kidnap those people? Or am I reading too much into this?

Guzzlord: 6.6 Ultra Ruin, Guzzlord’s home world, is one of the darkest things we’ve seen in the Pokemon series, so props for that. It also raises the most questions about the Ultra Beasts because we’re basically told that we’re traveling to different planets to capture these things, but then Ultra Ruin is heavily implied to be the same Pokemon planet you just left in the future/an alternate timeline. What’s really going on here? But anyways, as for Guzzlord itself, I think the design is kind of awkward. Which like, works for an Ultra Beast, which are supposed to not make sense to us I guess, but hands coming out of the mouth is too weird even for me. Plus I think it’s a bit too on the nose conceptually, having this big mouth monster be a dangerous glutton seems too easy and straightforward for the series.

Necrozma: 5 Not sure how to feel about this thing. I don’t want to become one of those “Pokemon was better back in the day, stop changing things” types because the series needs to innovate to survive, but I think Necrozma and its place in game typifies a lot of the aspects I don’t like about Generations 6 and 7. Namely the emphasis on everything being big and flashy and powerful. Mega forms, Z-moves, and now this? Dark fusion monsters that explode into towering dragons made of light? It’s all starting to feel like a bit… much. Especially since the “fuse with the legendary” thing was already done much more tastefully in Black & White 2, where it felt much more thematically appropriate and its implications were explored better. The design and the lore behind it are cool (and should be explored further in the series, I hope we don’t drop the whole “Ultra Beat” thing in Generation 8) so I don’t hate it, but I’m not crazy about what it stands for.

Magearna: 7 Mythical Pokemon are always going to be somewhat pointless so at a certain point I just have to ask myself is it cute? And the answer here is “kinda.” I don’t particularly mind this being a mythical Pokemon because everything about its lore screams “special one off Pokemon,” but I will give it extra points because you can actually obtain it, unlike a lot of its peers.

Marshadow: 3 Cute but didn’t need to exist.

Poipole: 8.8 A smaller, friendlier (but still sadistic) Ultra Beast was a good addition and I like Poipole’s design. It reminds me a bit of [the Great Gazoo](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71kiXjLfpoL._SX466_.jpg) or Elgyem (one of my favorite Pokemon) but I guess they’re all drawing from the same reference points. It looks like an alien that would have been on Ben 10, and I mean that as a huge compliment.

Naganadel: 7.6 First off, it’s super weird that this thing is flying upside down. But second off, I’m not sure how to feel about it. It has a bit of a “digital” look to it that I’m not sure gels with what it’s going for, but at the same time, it’s undeniably cool looking. I think a take on the classic dragon is a must have for alien dimensions, and Naganadel fills that niche quite nicely.

Stakataka: 8.1 It’s a cool idea and execution but it’s a little boring compared to the other Ultra Beasts. It’s definitely sufficiently alien looking but it lacks the flavor and creativity some of the others exhibit.

Blacephalon: 9.2 “Chaotic clown” is always a fun archetype (Joker fans don’t interact) and I think it was executed well here. We’ve had clown Pokemon before but this thing is unsettling, [look at how it behaves in the anime.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99dD_UGfkyk) Something about the way it juggles its featureless, spherical head around is so unwholesome. Also of note is that its head kind of resembles Nihilego’s hat… coincidence? Unrelated but I love its color scheme, and the shiny form is almost cooler.

Zeraora: 0 I’m SCREAMING this is literally a Sonic OC. This looks like a fakemon made by someone who doesn’t want to admit that they’re a furry, why does this exist? I’m a big Pokemon fan but I literally hadn’t heard of this thing before this rate, and if I did, I blocked it out. There’s a lot of Pokemon that feel like they’re legendary/mythical for no reason but this LITERALLY has no reason to be considered “special.”

Meltan: 2 This is where I officially tuned out of Pokemon, I have no clue what this thing is and I don’t care to learn. This doesn’t look like a Pokemon, it even looks out of place next to previous “mechanical” Pokemon. I do respect the idea of creating a special Pokemon for Pokemon Go, that’s a neat concept, but the execution is terrible.

Melmetal: 1 It’s like someone put a Regigigas action figure in the oven.

END