12 oz Mouse script: S1E02_Signals

int. diner. mouse and eye are sitting at a table.

MOUSE: so, what's it like to be an eye?
EYE: it's like... wow.
MOUSE: oh yeah? really?
EYE: real... estate.

man/woman brings a plate of flaming food.  the camera zooms in on a tv on the wall, which shows mouse and eye sitting at the table as new guy appears.

MOUSE: so how do you know... shark?
EYE: shark know i.
MOUSE: so what, you hired me through him?
EYE: aye.
MOUSE: mmm. good news for mouse. he's hired. what's the job?
EYE: golden joe.
MOUSE: golden? no way.
EYE: way. curds and whey.
MOUSE: who is it?
EYE: magic man. does business on frick.
MOUSE: owes ya money?
EYE: lots. up to his eyes.
MOUSE: how much does it cost?
EYE: fifty mil. how much do you charge-eh?
MOUSE: fifty mil.
EYE: upfront for i?
MOUSE: upfront, upback, upside. upside your head.

man/woman appears and emits airhorn sound

EYE: it pays fifty mil from eye.
MOUSE: oh yea. it pays fifty mil upfront. it pays fifty more mil when i deliver. that's sixty mil.
EYE: it doesn't. but it will.

int. shark's office.

SHARK: sit down.
MOUSE: no.
SHARK: stand up.
MOUSE: no.

mouse sits down.

SHARK: did, uh, did you meet the eye?
MOUSE: no.
SHARK: did he see you? get it?
MOUSE: mm-mm.

the room fills with water. a fish swims by and then walks back. meanwhile:

Shark: Um... Did he tell you about the job?

Mouse: mm-hm

Shark: That's goo- That's good, right?

Mouse: No.

Shark: Look, When you drink you're drinking (beat) and when you're
drinking... you have

Mouse: No

Shark: Hey Mouse.

mouse opens the door and the water rushes out, leaving them on the street.

SHARK: golden joe is like... magical. all disappeary and shut. you watch that, okay?
MOUSE: no.
SHARK: because i... i've come to care about you. a lot. and also, not in that way. yeah, in that way a little. half and half.
MOUSE: i need a drink.
SHARK: it doesn't matter. you'll be back.

int. rhoda's. golden joe appears.

RHODA: oh, wow. and i mean wow ow wow, shut. lip. golden joe. golden joe! what that dealio?
GOLDEN JOE: you know what i'm sayin'?
RHODA: nope, i uh, i do not. no way in hell do i do. i don't know! haha. golden joe.
GOLDEN JOE: slap me a spill thrill, girl!
RHODA: you are golden joe. golden friggin' joe, people!

mouse enters.

RHODA: here you go, joe.
GOLDEN JOE: flow mo so do ho quiznite show ya right. shorty, wassup?
RHODA: yeah, i'm in, i'm in! (to mouse) how about you, you want the uh, usual 12 beers at once?
MOUSE: make it um, let's make it 13.
GOLDEN JOE: so, yo the mo.
MOUSE: what, is that, like, short for mouse? then yeah.
GOLDEN JOE: so tell me man, mo, wassup? what you want with joe? 'cause the joe gotta blow in a few seccos man, i gotta bounce. i got a few shorties at the house, man, wassup?
MOUSE: price. on your golden head. now listen up, gweet. golden joe, he owes the eye a lot of mo... ney.
GOLDEN JOE: so?
MOUSE: so, he wants me to collect half. right now.
GOLDEN JOE: what you sayin', man?

mouse starts shooting at golden joe. golden joe says something unintelligeble.

GOLDEN JOE: damn, dog.
MOUSE: okay, look. here's the plan. we got a special effects guy outside, works in the movies. he worked on black beast. he's the best, have you seen that?
GOLDEN JOE: uh.
MOUSE: there's not one beast in it, but you think there is. okay? he's that good. he's gonna make a mold of your head.
GOLDEN JOE: you wanna do what with my head, man?
MOUSE: of your golden joe head.
GOLDEN JOE: what the hell?

mouse jumps on golden joe and holds a broken bottle to his face.

MOUSE: shut up. i'm gonna take joe head to the shark. you get it? see, he'll think your dead, 'cause he's dumb.
GOLDEN JOE: what're you talkin' about, dead?
MOUSE: but your not. not yet.
GOLDEN JOE: man, let's roll from here, man.
MOUSE: mmm, let's go out later. i wanna drink some, so i can drive.

ext. street.  mouse is driving his taxi jet down the road with golden joe, upside-down with sparks flying.

MOUSE: what do you know about tanks?

ext. tank lot. a sign says "stop now for tanks only 50 mil."

GOLDEN JOE: they are big as hell!
MOUSE: they're also good for bustin' squirrels out of jail. but first...

ext. liquor store. mouse and joe are driving a tank.

MOUSE: this tank needs some liquor.

int. liquor store.

LIQUOR: ah, fitz, the usual?
MOUSE: yep.
LIQUOR: that'll be... lets see... three hundred dollars?
MOUSE: tell ya what.

mouse drinks the whole beer, throws down the bottle and the bottle shatters. he then leaves the store. man/woman appears and emits airhorn sound.

ext. street. mouse and golden joe are driving the tank.

GOLDEN JOE: man, what about golden joe? where his drink at? i know you didn't just take my damn money up there and buy yourself a drink and leave me out, man, wassup? where's my drink?

they come to the jale.

ANNOYING WOMAN: excuse me. excuse me, sir? you can't park that tank here. sir? sir? excuse me? you can't park that tank here. sir? you can't park that tank here. excuse me, sir? you can't park that tank here. excuse me. you can't park that tank here.

mouse shoots the woman with the tank.

MOUSE: what'd she say?
GOLDEN JOE: man, that was crazy as hell!

int. jale

MOUSE: officer? we have a plan.
PEANUT: right on! am i in on it? dude?
MOUSE: mmm...in a way.
PEANUT: um... w, w, which way? dude. bro. man bro.
MOUSE: every way.
PEANUT: no way... hehehehe.
GOLDEN JOE: hahaha, you so stoned, bra come here!

they all laugh.

PEANUT: oh, really?

mouse produces a lit bomb.

MOUSE: hello? little help?
PEANUT: oh.

mouse throws the bomb to peanut.

MOUSE: why don't you hold this?
PEANUT: is this, uh, part of the plan?
MOUSE: can be.
PEANUT: 'cause i am the law!
MOUSE: we'll be right back.

they proceed into the jale and find skillet in a cell.

MOUSE: skillet, what's wrong?

skillet screeches.

MOUSE: skillet, skillet, skillet. what's shakin'?

skillet screeches.

MOUSE: oh, you're in a, you're in a jail.

skillet screeches.

MOUSE: oh. you're in this jail. well, not for long.

mouse looks at golden joe.

MOUSE: you. trade.

golden joe is now in the cell and skillet is next to mouse.

GOLDEN JOE: thank you, dog.

mouse and skillet walk toward the entrance.

PEANUT: hey, uh, you forgot your bomb.
MOUSE: you can keep it. i made it for you, man.
PEANUT: oh... you got me.

peanut goes back to the cell holding golden joe.

PEANUT: dude.

golden joe disappears and the bomb explodes.

ext. mountains. mouse and skillet are on the tank.

MOUSE (singing): look at the sun, over the mountains. it sets like destiny over the mountains. it's so beautiful.

eye parachutes onto the tank.

EYE: eye saw you driving the tank.
MOUSE: no, that wasn't me. i don't drive.
EYE: did you get my mon-eye?
MOUSE: i don't understand anything you're saying.
EYE: did you get my money?
MOUSE: yes.
EYE: where is it?
MOUSE: pissed it away.
EYE: ooh. on what?
MOUSE: spent it. on... piss.
EYE: on what?
MOUSE: a tank.
EYE: which tonk?
MOUSE: every tonk.

skillet starts screeching and jumping as his ankleband starts beeping and displaying a frown face.

EYE: what in the piss is wrong with your friend?
MOUSE: his name is night moves. he was born with it, and he loves tanks.

skillet explodes.

EYE: whoa.
MOUSE (singing): look with me eye, and see what you can see, when you see the sun, when it sets.

int. shark's office.

SHARK: hey, how'd the job go?
MOUSE: you know.
sHARK: mm-hmm.
MOUSE: started it 'n... it went on. you know?
SHARK: mmmmm... you didn't do it, did you?
MOUSE: no, no, i did it.
SHARK: no no no no no no no. don't lie. 'cause you didn't do it.
MOUSE: did.
SHARK: all right, then what was the job?
MOUSE: to do things.
SHARK: for what?
MOUSE: mmmmmon--
SHARK: don't say money.
MOUSE: rubles. barney rubles.
SHARK: where's this going?
MOUSE: right here.
SHARK: where?
MOUSE: everywhere.

mouse jumps onto shark's desk, and sees new guy standing behind shark.

MOUSE: who's the... who's the ghost?
SHARK: that's the new guy.

end.