Mah Environment (CYOA starring Reggie)

>Be Reggie
>Spend all day making fliers for a "go green" event where you get more people to recycle
>Freaking tired of all your trees and resources being thrown away when people can easily reuse them!
>Get home and walk into your sister's room
"Hey, Mary. You ready to help--Are you kidding me right now?!"
>Mary has a bong in hand, which she slowly pretends to hide behind her back, holding back her giggles
"Mary! We had a deal!"
>"Chill, little bro. I can still hand out stuff. Whoa. Baller colors."
"You know how bad productivity is when you're high! You know how hard I've been working to spread the news for this project!"
>"Listen Mikeyangelo, I had this massive migraine earlier, and I just got to thinkin... what's the point of underwear? I mean, I wear a skirt, so it's not like anything's gonna rub up there."
"Too much info. Can you just take a shower or--"
>"And like, I haven't shaved down there in like 3 weeks, so I don't think anyway really WANTS to see what's down there, anyway."
"Mary... I've been working on service project after service project trying to get people aware of this event. Now will you help me?"
>Mary looks down at the fliers, then at her bong
>"Fiiine. I'll take a shower. Give me an hour or two."
"An hour? How long does it take--"
>"I'm a girl. Would you rather I said 5 minutes?"
"Fine. I'll just put away your... stuff."
>As Mary walks upstairs, you grab the bong and put it in her closet when--
>"Freeze!"
"Huh? Axel?! What are you doing in my house?"
>"I knew you'd be up to no good, Reggi, if that IS your real name!"
"Well, actually, my name is Michelan--"
>"Save it for the principle after detention."
>He takes out a pen and pad and begins writing a citation
"But you broke into my house!"
>"It was for justice!"
"What did I even do?"
>"Can you not smell that air? Honestly, what kind of schmuck do you criminals take me for?"
>Suddenly, Mary walks back downstairs, hemp leaves hiding her privates like Adam and Eve.
>"Oh, by the way, guys," Mary says. "Sorry if the house starts to smell. I took a mad deuce earlier and forgot to flush. OK, you guys have fun."
>She leaves the two of you alone, both with awkward looks on your faces
"You just had to ask. Did you see how embarrassed my sister was?"
>"I--I'm sorry!"
"Had enough justice, or is there some other way you're gonna humiliate her?"
>"You know what?"
>He rips up the paper
>"I'm sorry. Simple misunderstanding, but don't let it get in your head that I'm going to let you criminals off the hook next time!"
>He leaves the house
>You watch him sternly as he walks out the door, throwing the citation into the wind as soon as he gets outside.
>Did he just defile mother nature?
>Did he just leave his dirty signature on
>Mother
>Effing
>Earth?
>Hide your power level
>Just because he took no consideration of putting it in the appropriate recycling bin (which was like 10 feet away) doesn't mean you have to lose your cool.
"Hey, Axel! You uh... you dropped something... on the ground... You know, if you need, there's a bin just over there if you need to put it somewhere."
>"What are you saying, delinquent?"
"I'm saying that I'd really appreciate it if you didn't litter. A tree was torn down from its roots to give you that paper, you know?"
>"Yeah." He pulls out his ax. "And I gave it back to nature."
>Starting to lose your cool.
"It doesn't work like that, Axel. Now, could you please just have the common decency to pick up your garbage? It IS a violation of the law, you know."
>"You accusing an upholder of the law of a criminal offense? Sorry, but that don't fly around here. You're coming with me."
>He walks through the grass to the front of the house
"You're killing my lawn! You can't even walk around?"
>"Boy, we can do this the easy way or the hard way."
"You know what? Suck my dick. It's on."
>Charge at the vest-wearing faggot
>Tackle him to the ground, holding his ax against his chest
>He wants to get me off of him, but his arms are too weak
>Punch him square in his peachfuzz face
"How do you like that, bro?"
>"Reggie, stop!"
"Maybe if you learned how to recycle, then we wouldn't be in this mess!"
>Punch him again
>"Reggie! You need to get off of me!"
"This one is for the environment!"
>Another punch
"This one is for my lawn!"
>Falcon PAWNCH!
>About to punch him again, but he takes his hand off of his ax, covering himself
>"REGGIE! I think our cocks are touching!"
>You stop mid-punch
"What?"
>"I said I think our cocks are touching!"
>Look down
>Sure enough, your pelvic area is scrunched right up against his
>Push off of him as fast as you can, wiping off your crotch like he got some kind of penis germs on you
"Dude! Get offa me, you faggot!"
>Suddenly, you turn to see your big sister draped in a towel standing in the doorway
>She saw the whole thing
"Mary! Aren't you cold? You should probably go into the house where it's nice and war--"
>"What. The actual. F*ck."
"Mary, it's really not that big a deal. We just--"
>"No, it IS that big a deal! I just drank like 2 straight gallons of water trying to get the weed out of my system, and yet somehow, I'm still hallucinating."
>"Wait, try to get what out of her system?" Axel asks, trying to get up
>Punch him again, knocking him back down
>"I mean seriously," she continues, "I pissed a fricking river! Yet for some reason, it looks like you and Axel are reenacting Shrek is love, Shrek is life!"
"You know what, why don't you get ready some more?"
>You push her back inside
>She giggles emphatically
>"I still haven't shaved, by the way."
"I'll be waiting in the car for you."
>"It's like if anyone wants to sneak a peak, I'll be all like 'Welcome to the Jungle!'"
>Send her upstairs and close the door
>Guess she really was still high
>Turn to Axel
>"Let's just forget any of this ever happened," he says.
"Good idea."
>You help him up to his feet and shake hands
"Oh, and Axel?"
>"Yeah?"
"For real. Go pick up that piece of paper."

The end.