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Hey Jake, I understand this may be a little weird since you left the server, but I need to apologize to you. The server ended up being deleted as you may know, and before coming back I've had a lot of time to think.

I understand you left because you felt unwelcome. I don't know the full extent, but I believe part of that was because of me and a lot of things I had done. I hope to apologize for all of that and to address it here.

I said many things in our group that I regret both now and then, and fully understand are completely wrong, unreasonable, rude, and antagonizing to say. I should not have belittled people just speaking their mind. I should not have pushed my worries and frustrations upon everyone and expect them to validate me or fight my battle. I should not have abused my position of power to silence those that were only being a slight annoyance. I should not have stepped into conversations knowing I'm emotional and letting it control what I say. I should not have made anyone felt unwelcome or unwanted in our group that was supposed to be open and caring, casual and light, and most of all friendly and fun. I feel embarrassed I could not step back and assess myself when I had multiple chances to, sad realizing that I know I could have prevented nearly all of this, and angry at myself that I let elements both internally within our group and externally in my personal life control what I did when I knew there were better ways to deal with my frustrations. I may have not done anything to you personally (that I understand) but everyone in our community deserves an apology.
With that, I'm sincerely and deeply sorry. I recognize all the wrong I've done upon you, and I hope what I've said before can show that to you. I'm sorry for everything. I can't undo anything, but I want to amend what I can to show you and other Friendly Friends that I'm truly sorry and mean to fix things by changing my behavior and apologizing to everyone. I hope in reaching out to you, that we can start small and it can grant you some peace in the turmoil I made. Please remember you're not and absolutely never obligated to accept this, or even take me up on anything that I may want to do in the future if you believe it is best we don't stay friends or speak to one another. I accept and I respect your wish; you do not owe me anything and do not have to explain if this is the case. I just ask that you tell me it straight so I can remove you from appropriate places so you'll never have to see me, and so clearly understand it without a question in my mind and can process it.

I'm really proud of the group that we have built over the last few years, and I value everyone. You and every single person in the group have helped develop good memories that I will cherish for a very long time. I'm angry at myself for destroying it all, but I hope you find comfort in knowing that I've been seeking both professional help since returning home and lessons to learn from this through self-reflection on my own time.
I am aware that other people have made new servers and I encourage you all to create groups of people you trust and love. You deserve lots of laughter, fun times, healing, and good games. You do not need anyone to feel like they're threatening your group and I hope you will all create more memories of your own full of nothing but smiles. I wish you all to do well in whatever you strives towards, and wish you the best of luck if you'll allow it.

To you, I hope that the future is bright and that you and I both can learn from all this and step forward knowing that we can take lessons from this. For me, it's taking care of my mental health better and to stop pushing my expectations on others. I hope you can identify yours if you feel you have to take something away from all this, and want nothing but the best in you to heed the lesson to heart. Thank you for being a friend to me and for being a level-headed cool Australian within a group of people that I consider good friends. I want you to know you've done a lot of good for me, and spent countless nights and days talking to me to just walk through a tough situation. You have no idea how much that means to me, and I cannot thank you enough for taking time to do that. I'm sorry to have create grief and trouble, and that I wish for us to walk away knowing we can still both take away something from all of this to help us be better people as we grow older. I'm wishing you luck on your studies and know that you'll kick butt with your studies. I hope you'll remember to lean on friends a little and take it easy in between your bouts of hard work. I hope you'll play lots of good games and stay inspired to work towards whatever your mind takes you. Thank you.