Jump 423: Adventure Time

Jump #423: Adventure Time
>Nine of Wands (strength), reversed: Efforts compromised by traitors or saboteurs. The scattering of forces before the conclusive battle is fought.
>Age: 13
>Location: Ice Kingdom
Penguins. Mostly harmless.
>Identity: Scientist
Well, this is basically Magitech Chain, so... yeah. Pity I don't have the points for Archmage.
>Auto-Tune (Free, Scientist)
I can only consider a handful of times where this could be useful, but why not?
>Generate Mayonnaise (900)
There has to be some way to change this to generate more than mayonnaise. I don't even like mayonnaise. It's basically fat and egg whites.
>Elemental Monarch (Ice) (300)
"Who are you?" "The Ice King." "But-" "Yeah, I know, you're the Ice King, so you're still in charge, I'm just here to keep you company. More like an Ice Kid." "And you're not going to wait until I'm asleep to steal my crown?" "No, man, that's all yours. Plus I'm going to make an ice TV so you can get HBO." "Whoopie!"
>Brilliant Inventor (0, Scientist)
Well, I DID promise the Ice King that I was going to get him cable.

So... I've got to admit this was a more interesting time than I expected. A lot of what I did was quietly fighting for the Ice King's favor against Gunter, but I didn't even realize it was a contest for a while. I'm pretty sure the Ice King didn't realize that either. But honestly, being a sane conversationalist for the Ice King was a good thing - sure, he's a crazy guy, but he's more or less harmless. Except when he isn't. Sort of like someone with Alzheimer's. You have your good days, you have your bad days, and you just try to roll with the punches when you can't magically fix what ails them thanks to a thousand years of magical brain cancer.

By the time I'd met Finn and Jake, I'd started calling the Ice King grandpa.

Anyway, much of what I did was to make things nicer in the Ice Kingdom. Ice Tech was as cool as it was silly, and I ended up making a giant computer that, as a side effect of working, projected the Aurora Borealis in the sky. Of course, this was basically the receiver for the Ice King's ice TV, and yes it got HBO. Among other things. Like interdimensional cable, only not.

Really, most of what I did was a lot of hanging out and randomly running around, because things were rather neat in many places. I didn't screw with the Lich, when Finn came around I was friendly with him because I was about two years older than him (and explained that I was looking after the Ice King, because when people get old sometimes their brains don't work right, and MAN is the Ice King old), and didn't even get involved when Gunter went full Orgalorg. I did give him the "never go full retard" speech after the dust settled and he was back to being a penguin again. Then passed him a root beer, because he's too cute to stay mad at.

Mostly, I spent a good amount of time tinkering about with ice tech to see what I could do with it, and sadly, I should have taken candy magic if I wanted to be super advanced. Still, this was basically just optical computing using ice as a medium, but... really, it took magic to keep everything stable enough to work right. After a certain point it's self-sustaining though, so it's another tool to go in my belt. Still, making functional machinery out of ice is neat, even if the ice itself has to stay stable - as long as the melting point is a non-factor, you can break ice down into oxygen and hydrogen and have a combustion engine. Clean burning, at that.

Oh, there was one thing. Ice King found a nice lady named Patience and decided to do as she wanted, against my advice, but after he kidnapped Betty... well, frankly, I saw the writing on the wall and made myself scarce while everything went crazy. Right up until the end. Patience decided to freeze herself to escape the consequences of her actions in the end, and I felt it appropriate to finally intervene - firstly, grabbed Betty and disappeared, chewed her a new one for deciding to screw with the timeline and pointed out that this was one of the better possible timelines.

After which... Finn intercepted, and talked Betty into helping FIX everything instead of mucking it up worse. And after that? The Ice King and I cracked open Patience's self-made ice cocoon, the Flame Princess and Princess Bubblegum bound her magic, and ... I'm really not sure WHEN he got there, but Lemongrab appeared and hauled her off, screaming something about how much time she was going to be spending in the dungeon.

Things are weird in this universe.

Oh, and I nearly forgot - one of the things I DID do was amateur dental work. In other words, fixed Finn's teeth. He REALLY needed that done.