GARNIER

*** okeanos is now known as Garnier
<WrongWay>: you should've called it meth]
<Garnier>: why?]
<Garnier>: I dont want any indian cock]
<WrongWay>: [fineeee]
*** HabeusKaiju is now known as JohnQuint
Garnier has a rat on his shoulder, he is holding a gun in both hands. He teaches math
<Garnier>: everyone get ready]
WrongWay seriously regrets not doing his math homework
<Garnier>: bell rings
<Garnier>: Its time to get to class.
WrongWay walks to class like he's walking to his funeral.
JohnQuint saunters into class, looking greener than usual
<Garnier>: "Right kiddies"
Garnier pulls out his gun
<Garnier>: Take a spot in the new seats
Garnier points to a set of two chairs with metal snaps and bars on them. There appears to be a piano hoisted above each chair
<WrongWay>: ...
JohnQuint walks down, groaning, as he sitsd in the chair
<WrongWay>: "I-I think I'm needed somewhere else..."
Garnier cocks the gun
<Garnier>: Take
<Garnier>: Your
<Garnier>: Seat.
<WrongWay>: "R-right."
WrongWay shakily takes a seat in the other chair.
<Garnier>: As they take their seats the metal latches onto both of them, around their arms legs, necks and a visor over the tops of their heads
<Garnier>: "Now"
WrongWay prays silently and regrets all the things he's done and hasn't done.
<Garnier>: "I trust youve all done your assignments?"
<JohnQuint>: Yes sir....
Garnier takes johns assignment
WrongWay bites his lip, trying not to look suspisious
<Garnier>: "....you got problem 47 wrong, well one of your steps is but the answer was correct"
<Garnier>: "For that"
<Garnier>: "You only get one snake"
Garnier pushes a button, lowering a cobra into the contraption pit around johns head
<Garnier>: "Now mark..."
<Garnier>: "Where is your homework"
<WrongWay>: "Uh um...it might be in my backpack somewhere...."
<JohnQuint>: Sir....Can I leave class?
<JohnQuint>: I don't feel well....
<Garnier>: "No"
Garnier takes marks backpack
<Garnier>: "You dont"
Garnier throws the backpack out the window
<WrongWay>: "Awjeez"
<Garnier>: Do I look vietnamese?
<Garnier>: Do I look like a pretty young teenager whos throwing her life away for her familys safety and to make ends meet so her younger brother can eat this week?
<Garnier>: No?
<Garnier>: Then why are you trying to fuck me.
<WrongWay>: "I'msorrysirtherewasanewleakforthatnewnickelbackalbumandpleasedon'tkillme"
<Garnier>: "....did you say nickelback?"
<Garnier>: "I love nickelback"
<Garnier>: For good taste, I may not kill you
Garnier pushes a button
<Garnier>: The floor under ww's chair dissapears underneath he can see a pit of ravenous demon fire snakes that have a taste for human flesh and havent had a date in 20 years
<Garnier>: They are hungry in every sense of the word
<Garnier>: Marks chair is held by a strand of web
<JohnQuint>: Sir, I ate some bad fish....
WrongWay screams in silent horror.
<Garnier>: The cobra in johns helmet case thing is starting to lick his eyeball
<Garnier>: "Now"
<Garnier>: "All you have to do to survive mark"
<Garnier>: "Is tell me what number im thinking of"
<Garnier>: c:<
<WrongWay>: "6?"
Garnier looks dejected
<Garnier>: "very well then"
WrongWay sighs with relief
Garnier pushes a button and releases ww from the death chair
<Garnier>: But john wasnt correct
<Garnier>: So he gets another viper
Garnier pushes a button dropping another viper in
WrongWay rubs his wrists from being freed from the death chair
<JohnQuint>: Sir, I really dont feel good
<Garnier>: The viper bites his eye
<Garnier>: "Do you have a pass?"
JohnQuint starts to make gagging noises
<JohnQuint>: AUGHNOIHAVETOPUKEANDIDONTKNOWWHEREITCOMESFROM]
<Garnier>: did you say that or not]
<JohnQuint>: I said it]
<Garnier>: "Well Ill let you go if mark here can guess what im thinking a second time. Its a number between negative infinity and infinity, including decimals and irrational numbers
<Garnier>: "
<WrongWay>: ......
<WrongWay>: "11"
<Garnier>: "..................."
<Garnier>: "Im not sorry"
Garnier drops in another viper it bites his ear
<Garnier>: "Thats correct"
<WrongWay>: "Yes!"
<JohnQuint>: AUUUGH
<Garnier>: "Now what number am I not thinking of"
<WrongWay>: "Ohjeez. ....8000?"
<JohnQuint>: SIRIGOTTOGONOWPLEASEIMABOUTTOVOMIT
Garnier drops a copperhead into the mix, they are golden
<Garnier>: That is correct
<Garnier>: One more question
<WrongWay>: "Okay..."
Garnier pulls out the gun, puts it to johns temple and says "Why was six, afraid of seven..."
<WrongWay>: "Ohmygod howdoesitgo......"
<WrongWay>: "Uh...because 8 9ed 7?"
<JohnQuint>: OHGODREVERSEBOYWHYWHYOYUKILLEDME!
Garnier cocks the gun
<WrongWay>: "UM 9 7d 8?"
Garnier shoots
<WrongWay>: "AUGH!"
<Garnier>: a golden kitten shoots out of the gun and hits john in the face
<Garnier>: latching on with all paws and scratching down with its bottom two (you know how they do)
JohnQuint vomits, as bile comes out of the top of his throat, erupting like a geyser
<JohnQuint>: .....
JohnQuint begins to cry
<JohnQuint>: OHGODWHY
<Garnier>: The kitten is made of gold
<Garnier>: literally
<Garnier>: It starts licking at johns tears
<Garnier>: AHAHAH
<Garnier>: AHAAHAAH
<Garnier>: CRY FOR ME
<Garnier>: DIE FOR ME
<JohnQuint>: PLEASELETMMEGOTHISISWEIRD
<Garnier>: I AM YOUR GOD
<JohnQuint>: More puke is coming out
<Garnier>: AND THAT
<JohnQuint>: HUUUURGH
<Garnier>: *Bell rings*
<Garnier>: Is why mark needs to do his homework
<Garnier>: Or next time I wont be shooting kittens
<Garnier>: The chair unlocks around john
<WrongWay>: "ohjesus"
JohnQuint falls down, as he cries some more, his head plopping on his back
<JohnQuint>: WHYYYYY
<Garnier>: "Because I am The headmaster of this school, and I believe in you tards"
<Garnier>: "Now get out of my laboratoir..."
<WrongWay>: "r-right."
WrongWay leaves the classroom.
JohnQuint lies down, a tragedy of a man
Garnier kneels down next to john
Garnier whispers in his ear
<Garnier>: "Tard, I will wear you as pants"
JohnQuint fires off another geyser, as he sobs some more
<JohnQuint>: PLEASEJUSTCALLADOCTOR
JohnQuint grabs his head, as he runs out of the room, puking and crying at the same time
Garnier cleans up