Ceyanna asking about her punishment/future

[00:38] Eisheth Ravnore sits primly, nudging the equipment upon the table to one side so that she has a clearer line of sight to the girl across from her. "You wished to speak of your course here, if it is to remain here at all. If there is a specific query that comes to heart or mind, ask it now, or from here we shall simply pick apart your behaviors."

[00:41] Ceyanna Ashton Sat down and pondered for a bit. "I cannot think of anything at the moment my Lady."

[00:44] Eisheth Ravnore laces her fingers together, staring at Ceyanna for a time, and then some more after her answer. "When you spoke to me, you told me that you were considering whether to remain here. Why? Yes, I told you to consider whether you should, but what is it that brings doubt to your own mind?"

[00:48] Ceyanna Ashton "Because I didn't think such a thing was possible, but then I started to think on it and wondered whether it was wise. Sure, I could continue on my little adventure exploring Nirn but then I realized it wouldn't be the same..... also I didn't really consider it till after Lady Olyviana cornered me for... correction." she paused. "I was terrified."

[00:49] Valentin Forsythe tucks several books back into their respective spaces along the bookshelf. He gently runs a finger along the spines of several novels before making his selection. He moved to take a seat on the couch to begin his evening reading.

[00:51] Eisheth Ravnore remains impassive as the girl's viewpoint is relayed, listening but unmoved either way. "Ah, and did you consider that perhaps you should have been not only terrified, but mortified? That you brought such displeasure to the Lady of the House that she personally pulled you aside? What was it that particular time that you did to so earn her ire?"

[00:55] Ceyanna Ashton "She learned the reason why I got locked up by Tribune Terrell. She told me if I had any ideas of trying to 'save' someone from her again she'd burn them in front of me then toss me in a fire..." she swallowed. "Anyways the thoughts warring in my mind are these. I want to stay and redeem myself of my past transgressions and lift the punishment I +

[00:57] Ceyanna Ashton am enduring, but sometimes I doubt whether I'm even capable of accomplishing such a task. I don't want indecision to run my life and I've chosen to do the former, but I'm hitting a wall and don't know how to progress."

[01:05] Eisheth Ravnore isn't particularly angry, nor is she upset at the tale retold, seeming familiar with it, in fact. Something, however, does draw her kohl-lined eyes taut. "Miss Ashton, I'm going to voice a suspicion, and you are welcome to confirm or deny it. If I suspect that you lie to me when you answer, it will not help your 'progress' either." Her two index >>

[01:08] Eisheth Ravnore >> fingers move forward to become an arrow, thumbs pressed against one another. She uses this to indicate Ceyanna, "What, in your mind, denotes progress? Is it regaining the ability to enter into Thralldom, or is it the ability to serve the House without drawing the ire and embarrassment you have in the past?"

[01:11] Ceyanna Ashton "The ability to serve, speak, and help people in the house without my past getting in the way. Thralldom was amazing but after being one two times I fear the effects of being deprived of it again.... I lost more than just my connection with Limenia my Lady." she took a deep breath and sighed. "I also lost my relationship with Lucian and with my +

[01:12] Ceyanna Ashton closest friends.... While saving Kifah's life made her hatred go away she still views me with an aura of mistrust."

[01:19] Eisheth Ravnore "A well-spoken wish, and in truth something that would bring me peace of mind as well. The problem, my dear Ceyanna, is that your /current/ behavior must stand in enough contrast to the prior behavior to grant others confidence that you have effected change in yourself." She flicks a gloved hand in Ceyanna's direction, "In three words, >>

[01:20] Eisheth Ravnore >> "descriptors, summarize what unwanted attributes led to the poor decisions that granted your punishment to you."

[01:24] Ceyanna Ashton Took a while to think on her words. Her eyes seemed to be glued to the table till she finally looked back at Eithseth and said. "Confusion, inconsistency, and disrespect."

[01:27] Eisheth Ravnore sits near-motionless as she waits, save for the intermittent blink and superficial breath. "Confusion, inconsistency, and disrespect. Good, a start. Now look to yourself currently, and /think/ before you answer--are there still incidents where those three unfavoable traits have reared their heads, together or singly?"

[01:31] Ceyanna Ashton Bit her lip and nodded. "The coven meeting.... also with Limenia's wife.... and Gioxto." She paused. "I consistently show disrespect for those things I don't understand or like... Its how I constantly seem to push people away and its even effecting me and Siran. We were good friends and now? Now I don't know. She said some things to me and to get +

[01:32] Ceyanna Ashton her rage off me I laughed... I laughed cause I knew it'd cause her to be unable to respond. Now that  I think of it I'm a manipulative and horrible person."

[01:37] Eisheth Ravnore listens keenly to the young mage's introspection, nodding to the honesty in her answer. "Having and /showing/ respect in the face of unknowns or discomfort requires self-control--a discipline you are sorely lacking. Respect is also a significant foundation of decorum in civilized society whether it's Imperial /or/ Dunmer, though I use 'civilized'>>

[01:40] Eisheth Ravnore >> " a bit more loosely for the latter." She taps the tops of one ear in mimicry of the pointed ears she so derides. "You claim to be Siran's friend, yet you have disrespected her on multiple occasions. If that is all the self-control you can muster for those that supposedly matter to you, what are outsiders, onlookers, supposed to think of you?"

[01:42] Ceyanna Ashton "I try to be the girl that is smiling and friendly.... but...." she just kind of trailed off unable to answer the question.

[01:47] Eisheth Ravnore rests her cheek along thumb and forefinger, "And so we are back once more to 'confusion'. And that leads in turn to your indecision, the 'inconsistency'. The problem, dear one, is you haven't decided what you want to be. I think you have an image of what you believe you are /supposed/ to be, but you lose your grip on that image from time to time.>>

[01:48] Eisheth Ravnore >> "If you're going to lie, do it well or not at all. In your case, I'm not sure you're even aware that you're lying. You're not really always 'the girl that is smiling and friendly' are you?"

[01:53] Ceyanna Ashton Simply nodded. "It was trained into me... or well.... was. Then I got into spell casting... I learned alteration and restoration magic cause it 'fixed' things... In reality it spoiled me. Guess Kresia was right... I'm a spoiled brat..." she looked at this point completely downcast and depressed.

[01:59] Eisheth Ravnore A thin, raven brow climbs toward her circlet as she watches the reaction of the girl. "Yes," she states, matter-of-factly, "you are. You are because it's what you still /choose/ to be. That is what is called a 'comfort zone',  behavior that is familiar, and so is comfortable even when self-destuctive. It is a known rather than an unknown, so when>>

[02:01] Eisheth Ravnore >> "you become unsure, that becomes your anchor...even if it drowns you. You either decide to fix it, or it will taint everything you do."

[02:05] Ceyanna Ashton Realized she might have said too much, but the late hour was making it harder for her to think. "So.... I need to get out of my comfort zone." she rubbed her eyes a bit.

[02:09] Eisheth Ravnore "Among other things, yes," the Niben nods her head once, still resting it against her hand. "As a start, I suggest speaking to Siran--plainly. When you feel the urge to pretend to be the girl you are not, push it back and think on what you really mean to say or what emotion you actually want to conveny instead of lying." Seeing the signs of >>

[02:10] Eisheth Ravnore >> mortal fatique, she makes a dismissive gesture, "I think that's enough for one night. Start small, attempt to change your behaviors, and for Oblivion's sake don't draw Lady Olyviana's ire, there won't be anything left this time."

[02:11] Ceyanna Ashton Nods a couple times before standing up. "I'll do that.... goodnight Lady Eisheth." She gave the woman a small bow of her head before heading out.

[02:12] Eisheth Ravnore "Good night, Miss Ashton."