Helen Chyeah
do you hate me
sorry for wasting your time then.

about an hour agoRay Chyeah
I'll speak to you, but I find it really hard not to hate you
you spit in my face day after day
so knowing all of what you've done, give me a reason not to hate you

about an hour agoHelen Chyeah
Not to be cliche but if you think I wasted all of your time
I disagree
I hate repeating that I am sorry
this has been the most hectic time of my life, these last few months & I've experienced it with you
we both learned a lot
You broke up with me for the right reason
I realized a lot today
after alllllll of this
I still have feelings for you but it's best if we're not together
I am just not the girl for you
You deserve someone who is going to shower you with affection & attention because it's what you do
From the start, I should've just thought about things & maybe it would've worked out better
personally, I don't think I can be in another relationship because they never end well & I can't stand seeing you hate me
I have been really confused & overwhelmed lately & I can imagine things have been for you too
I just want us to be okay

about an hour agoRay Chyeah
Ah...
I'll explain myself in a second, John is telling me his life story right now.

about an hour agoHelen Chyeah
Alright

about an hour agoRay Chyeah
Alright, so
You were always enough for me since the beginning - I never even wanted to end it with you.
I was willing to endure this period as well as plenty more to come, I don't give a fuck about the way that you treat me.
My choice to break up with you was after hearing it multiple times from multiple people - everyone, and by everyone, I mean both bandits and sprouts witnessed the way you treated me.
Rae was flipping shit when she found out what you did to me on Paranormal Activity day.
You just really don't consider feelings at all, which is my hugest problem - you don't even try.
I had to sleep knowing that you were at Paulie's place, despite very recently having a bad trip because of you and him.
When I broke up with you, we acted as if nothing happened in the first place, we made love, held hands, and the I love you's were flying out of our mouths as if we JUST fell in love.
Then later tonight I have to see you grinding your ass against a fucking tiny ass cage, wearing booty shorts, and just 'doing you'.
I couldn't even look at you without wanting to leave the venue, so David had to give me his gloves just so I'd have a good night.
And then even then, you would fuck up and come up to me mentioning all the attention you got from guys while you were dancing like you wanted to get fucked in a cage.
"Some guy grabbed my ass while I was dancing"
"I got smoked up for dancing"
Do you NOT think about what you say?
Then at 4am I'm practically begged to leave the damn venue so I can take the damn train with you guys, and I ~think~ I'm going with you guys to Paulie's.
I call David, Paulie stops me and tells me he can't bring me -- right, but you can bring my fucking ex-girlfriend who I JUST broke up with?
And you kissing me before I left, but not once during the night - you send my mind in different directions and you don't even try to see despite what I supposedly mean to you.
I tell people the story about what happened, and they consider me the nicest, most understanding individual for even keeping you in my life.
And if you need to read and get a gist of what I hear from people, it's like this - this was between Rae and I:
Me: Rae, you're gonna be the first Sprout to know, but I'm breaking up with Helen today.
Rae: Honestly Rae, I'm glad you are. You don't deserve what she does to you. Like the way she treats you REALLY angers me. You have no idea.
Me: I can tell, but I can't blame her. It's who she is and I love her with all of my heart. But I really want her to be without me to really think about us.
Rae: Yeah, I feel you. Idk. I hope reality slaps her in the frace and she realizes what she's losing. And I'm not even trying to sound all harsh when I say that, don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but I really care about you and I don't like knowing that she hurts you. Ugh.
Others didn't take it as well, and the reason that you were allowed over the bandit pad was because I was dating you again.
But all that I'll quote from last night is, "How can anyone be friends with someone like that?"
So I understand that you're going through hard times, but so are all of us. I cried with Greg and Kayla yesterday - no one has it easy. But that's like no excuse to not consider your actions.
Because after I see you heading home with Paulie after gogo dancing the entire night, what am I SUPPOSED to feel?

about an hour agoRay Chyeah
You two try so hard to convince me that you're not into each other, but at this point, I think that you two are sleeping with each other night after night, and I'm probably right.
I call you a waste of time because I barely know who you are anymore, Helen.
Everyone knows that you are lost in yourself, but you make no effort towards being found - you are shaped by your surroundings, and that's your problem as a human.

57 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Well, I am going home

57 minutes agoRay Chyeah
And I'm sitting right next to Hammy, so he's gonna read all of this and I can really clear my mind for you.

57 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
probably this weekend
I don't want to be in anymore relationships. I didn't want to be in one when you asked me out but I don't regret dating you but I do wish I could've treat you better
We're two very different people
You know what you want & you work towards it
Unlike myself
I know we all have issues
& problems
it's something I say all the time
I just embrace them
& it's isn't the best method because it's obviously making me into a troubled person
Sucks that everyone thinks I'mhorrible
I don't want people to be nice to me because of you or anything
& I understand that you vent your feelings out to the family & it's good that they listen & support you
but I feel like I am getting shunned by others
& if they feel like that
about me
I will leave the family if you guys think it's for the best or whatever

45 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I don't think you should leave.
But I also think that Atlantic City is the wrong idea.
I still love you Helen - I hate your tendencies, but I love you, and I will always love you.
I hate knowing that we can't date because you can't show me love, because you've shown me a completely adequate amount of love after we got back together.
I know that you are capable of being a good girlfriend, and I give you as much freedom as I possibly can as a male.
We have still, till this day, never had a real vocal argument, I have never cursed you out, or told you you can't do anything that you want.

42 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Funny thing, I thought about it today & I was a great girlfriend before I joined the scene.

41 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I have been everything that I could possibly be for you - but if you do not wish to be helped in finding yourself and becoming a better girlfriend/person, I can't help you.
And I hurt every fucking day knowing that my other half is going to be alone now.
I wanted to walk away from this relationship knowing that I helped you to feel like you mattered and that you could be anyone that you wanted yourself to be.
But instead I walk away knowing that I can ruin your reputation just from speaking about the things you've done to me.
And that fucking sucks, because

39 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I don't care my rep

39 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I never wanted that for you.

39 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I don't even know where I belong at this moment in my life
trust me, my rep is the least of my worrise
worries*

38 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I promised you that I'd be together with you through the worst, and once again we're at that point.
You're on the verge of going back to Atlantic City, and even after all of this, I want nothing more than to be with you and to help you.
I have no problem jumping on another bus to visit you, because if there's anything that I've learned as a human being, it's to not care about what people say.
And I don't give a flying fuck about what everyone thinks of you now - I didn't care about what they thought of you when you cheated on me.
I have purposely gotten to know every bit of you over the course of this relationship, and I will always appreciate our best and worst times - you are not a waste of time.
But because you are so lost, I have become lost myself.

34 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I may have been a horrible girlfriend but if that's all people are going to see me for, then fuck it

34 minutes agoRay Chyeah
My only goal was to help you to find yourself and love yourself for who you really are - help you to understand that you are loved by, if not tons, by me, unconditionally.
But your struggle is indirectly affecting me, because my efforts to help you are going/have been in vain.
And I look at myself feeling sorry not for myself, but for you.

33 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Don't be sorry for me

33 minutes agoRay Chyeah
Because the scene has changed you for the worst.
The SCENE.
Look where you are at this point and tell me why I shouldn't be.

32 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Did it make me into a horrible person?
I still have a big heart, I care a lot for others, even if I was the worst girlfriend.
Ray, I fully understand

31 minutes agoRay Chyeah
This is the way it appears:

31 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
what the scene has done to me for the worse & for the better
I am jsut

29 minutes agoRay Chyeah
You have a big heart and you're PLUR, but your big heart is reserved only for the people who can help you get places in the scene.

29 minutes agoRay Chyeah
The one person who has stuck with you through everything is being tortured because NONE of that big heart is being used for him.
That's what it'd seem like for anyone.
Like I said when I decided to end this: this is about you, and this is the time for you to think about who you'd like to be.
Because you see that what you've become is not appreciated by people, so if this Helen that you've become is who you wish to be, then so be it.
Greg couldn't even look at you when he went to Outbreak, just because he couldn't bear what he was seeing.
Because the Helen everyone has come to love is not the Helen we see now.
But this isn't about us.
It's about you.
And that's all that it boils down to - you need to decide what really matters to you in life and be whatever you want to be, but you also need to prepare yourself for the consequences of changing.
With all that being said, I'd like to know if you and Paulie have a thing for each other, because everyone says you two have a flirty friendship - and I've asked you before, but now that everything has been said and done, have you two done anything?

19 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I didn't cheat on you, that's for certain, We hooked up yesterday & it's what makes me never want to be in another relationship

19 minutes agoRay Chyeah
Did you fuck?

18 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
We did not
fooled around

18 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I don't really know what to think about you, Helen.
Because I knew that you two had a thing for each other the entire time.
And I was right.

18 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Ray
I wanted
WANTED

18 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I feel like fucking crying right now.
Because you're telling me you've already moved on.

17 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
to be only yours, when I told you I didn't like Paulie, I really told myself I didn't, because I did not want to
& I have not moved on
I feel
fucking
apathetic almost, just lost.

16 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I don't know who you are.

15 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I just want to talk to you in person, this is too hard over facebook
It's driving me crazy
because I can't even put how I feel about this into text

15 minutes agoRay Chyeah
Yeah, you say that, but Paulie clearly drove you crazy enough to fucking press your lips against his.

14 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Wow

14 minutes agoRay Chyeah
It wasn't even a fucking DAY after we broke up Helen.
even been*
And you already hook up with someone?
I don't know who you are, because someone who was 'in love' would never fucking do that.

13 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Ray

13 minutes agoRay Chyeah
What?

12 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I can't speak to you right now, it's too much. I am trying to elaborate on why & how I feel but you are just making it harder for me.
I know you want to help me

12 minutes agoRay Chyeah
No, you have Paulie for that now.
Enjoy.

12 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
Ray
It's fine, whatever
I deserve this.
I will just handle all of this

9 minutes agoRay Chyeah
What the fuck do you even feel?
What are you doing with yourself?
I only seek to fucking help you and you CONSISTENTLY do things to hurt me.
What is WRONG with you?
You mean to tell me that before you let Paulie shove his fucking tongue down your throat that you didn't think of me even for a second?

8 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
You have
no idea.
You honestly do not

8 minutes agoRay Chyeah
Not for a second you didn't think, "I will not be able to speak to Ray if he hears this."
Yeah FUCK THAT
You don't think about SHIT
You didn't think of me before you fucked DAvid

7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
wow

7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
You didn't think of me before you made out with Paulie

7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
wow
wow
okay
thanks for helping me out

7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
Yeah, wow is definitely right.

7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I totally feel like a better person
please
just
stop

7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
I'm going to help you, Helen.

7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
I am
going to talk to you whenever

7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
But this is the consequence of doing something that you knew was wrong.

7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
have
a
wonderful
night

6 minutes agoRay Chyeah
Cool, run away.
You are lost.