Lily, you just need to know that Chris is the one stirring up trouble when he sneaks into my house when I'm not even online to leave insulting messages. He left it like 3 weeks ago, right on the day of Shadowbringers early access, but I just now saw it, and of course I'm not just gonna take that. I didn't want to take it to this nasty level, but he's the one making attacks and cowardly little potshots, and I simply responded with a couple of my own (one on your house since he is not on my friends list anymore therefore I can't go to his house, and one on his Steam profile). Until just then, I have not been bothering either of you; I saw you deleted me on Discord and took that as a sign that you had no interest in compromise for my sake, that it was over and to leave you alone. This was after I asked what the deal was with you guys leaving me alone in these old message threads to presumably send me a hurtful message by bumping them to the top of my Discord conversations, and got no answer back. Kicked me out of your servers without a word too. You two are obviously trying to hurt and upset me, so why are you acting surprised when I am hurt and upset and have something to say back?

So at this point Chris is the one harassing me, if anything. You ought to be aware of that and tighten the leash on your thirsty little doggy who gives up his career at the first sign of a girlfriend. He's the one making fake accounts to leave nasty messages without allowing the opportunity to respond back. So basically, he's the one calling me a stalker and a lowlife piece of shit when he is the one hounding my ass and sneaking around taking potshots when I've just been trying to mind my own business and get over you two. He made a fake Steam account and friend requested me to send a message right on the profile itself, and on Discord he went out of his way to find me on the Exodus Discord to send a message to bypass having to send a friend request. He is truly innovative and clever when it comes to the art of being a total pussy.

If he wasn't such a pathetic wimpy soyboy weeaboo beta bitchboy nerd who looks like her works at Costco and had the nerve to have an honorable direct conversation with me about this stuff, maybe it wouldn't have had to come to this. I would have still been staying away from either of you if it weren't for him leaving a message in my FFXIV house when I wasn't even online. He claims I'm the stalker, when he's the one doing shit like that? And all these fake accounts? I'M the stalker? All I did was leave a shitpost back in response, to let him know to back off and he has no room to talk. If he wants to turn it into a mudslinging match, it is pretty easy to find ways to poke at him too, but I'd rather not sink to that level and waste my time. Because this is not what I wanted. I wanted to be friends. I didn't want you to become negative influences in my life. So now you guys are all upset and outraged at ME, for simply retaliating to your petty bullshit. I could show you pictures of his desperate cowardly tactics if you don't believe me, you're dating a real piece of work all right. You should know that you're dating a real nasty bitter narrow-minded rage-filled person who is I guess so desperate to impress you and eager to protect you that he is the one inadvertently causing the problems and making it worse because he is too dumb and immature to put 2 seconds of thought into anything he says and is incapable of self-reflection. And he is also a laughably wimpy nerd if he can't just talk to me directly. All the hiding and spineless tactics is embarrassing to watch. I would be happy to have that conversation, and I wouldn't even be rude. All I have ever done is simply try to explain myself, but you guys are the ones getting nasty with me. So if you don't want to hear from me anymore, you ought to talk to Chris, because he and his wussy passive aggressive antics are the reason I'm even talking right now at all. I was ready to cut my losses and move on with my life, but he wants to bait me and provoke me and pull me back. I'd rather not even fight, but if you want to fight, let's just have that fight then. "Sometimes you have to fight to get your point across", eh? Or you could just do the respectful thing and just leave me alone and not talk shit.

By the way, I do not appreciate you gossiping about me and sensitive things I told you in good faith. I never did anything like that with the sensitive things you've told me. Low blows. It's pretty amazingly hypocritical for you to do that, considering the trouble you ran into with people gossiping about YOU. I was there for you during that time. I had your back during troubled times, but still you did not truly trust me. All I wanted was to know more about you and become closer to you, and you wouldn't allow that to happen. All the secret-keeping was really an emotional obstacle for me that drove me crazy because I really did care about you and wanted to be a meaningful friend to you. But not only could I not ever know anything about you and this tragic dark past you always allude to (flower of adversity), I could never ever EVER get even a glimpse of a hint of the nature of it. I didn't need to know the entire gruesome story, just an idea of what kind of thing you're talking about so that I understand what kind of abuse you've been through so that I could be mindful about what kind of struggle you've gone through with people, so that I could take care not to be one of those people and so that I could have your back against others who are like that. I shared a lot with you, I deeply cared about you, I wanted to make things work for both of us, and now you're just trashing me. I wouldn't be surprised if you were gossiping about me to Risaia too, since I guess you both have considered me an enemy despite my efforts to be good friends to you. At least honor and respect the good times we had and the good memories we made, even if it turned out bad in the end. I don't hate any of you guys. I was there for you and you were there for me, at least for a while...

I just wanted to be a good friend to you, I just wanted to be deserving of the truth so that I can be there for you and prove myself as someone you could trust. But apparently I don't deserve the truth. Apparently I don't deserve and honest straightforward answer to an honest straightforward question. There is nothing about your past that could have made me reject you. I just wanted to know the true honest Lily. I wanted there to be, like with any good friendship, an atmosphere of generosity and sharing and trust. That you could tell me things and I would understand and not reject you. I would still be willing to be that kind of friend to you, you know that I am the real deal and a straight shooter, but I and my needs have to be respected too. And I have felt for a while that our relationship was entirely on your terms and none of mine. You have a tendency to boss people around. You have a mean streak. I do too, but I have tried to make sure you were never taking the brunt of that. Overall, I feel like you had very little regard to me despite what you said, which as recent actions illustrate, turns out to be precisely the lie I thought it was. You and Chris are dishonest fakers, you are users, and you kick me while I'm down, when I extended my hand to try to work things out and get along, and you act like I'M the lowlife scum. I don't know why I cared so much about mean messed up people like you who hide your true selves because deep down inside you are not cute and fun at all. You are really shallow selfish children who do not know how to handle a mature honest conversation. You do not know how to confront reality. What is it that you are running away from? Yourselves?

It's also not a good look to make fun of someone for going to therapy to sort my strong emotions out (am I supposed to NOT go to therapy then, in order to not be made fun of? doesn't make sense. how about just not bring therapy into the potshots? really low thing to bring up). It's not a good look to be so hostile and cruel and disrespectful to someone who has lost his father, his dog, his sister, and is generally going through a hard rough lonely time of isolation and not feeling himself. I am working through a lot of extreme emotional trauma right now, and you guys just want to amplify it, because you are that callous and cruel to somebody who only wanted to be friends with you. But you just have that little regard for other people. You have each other to fall back on, so you have the confidence and security to be a little shit to everybody else. I confided in you guys, you guys said you deeply cared about me and respected me, but that turned out to be a lie because you are now making me regret ever confiding in you in anything. I was being real with you, but you can't be real with me. And that's just really sad. I hate being disappointed like this by the people I truly loved and cared about, but it always seems to happen to me. Which is why I go to therapy, to figure out why this happens and how I can avoid it. More and more as I get rejected and get lied to and trampled upon and betrayed, I just lose interest in even talking to people at all. It always seems like there's more bad people than good people. I want you to actually analyze the way you have treated me and ask yourselves if you can honestly describe yourselves as good people when you have turned me away like this when all I wanted was the truth and some basic degree of honesty and trust.