Frontiersmen: TIME AND TIME AGAIN (edited version)

< Edited version with less mistakes and whatnot. When reading this, it's going to feel very disjointed, but it will all make sense in the end. Reals logged on later, so assume Uplift was already there from the beginning. Reals and Micro had to leave somewhere at the end due to RL stuff, so that explains why they suddenly stopped talking. >



[1:14] Captain Collider@Swixer: Aboard the Globetrotter and stationed in the mission room, the Frontiersmen sit around a table facing Captain Collider, as he finishes his very important mission briefing that none of them can seem to remember for some reason. "That's why it's imperative to our survival that you remember why we're here, what we're up against and how to resist it."



[1:17] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: The sounds of Sweet Georgia Brown echoed throughout the Globetrotter's basketball court, Celsius dribbling a pair of basketballs before freezing them together and making a jump-shot for the hoop. Or at least, that was what he'd be doing if he wasn't currently in the meeting room, listening to Captain Collider. "I totally agree, Cap."

[1:19] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider gives him a reassuring nod at first. Then he bats his eyes a few times, his expression contorting into one of confusion. "Agree with what?"

[1:19] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "With whatever you just said."

[1:20] Captain Collider@Swixer: "What...did I say?"

[1:20] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "...Okay, I feel like we've been doing this for a while. I'm getting some serious... deja vu," Ultima King mutters. "We were here for a meeting. We need to retrace our steps and... did anyone write it down?"

[1:20] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "Something about pasta, I think."

[1:20] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado was certain he nodded off a couple of times in the middle of the briefing, though his mask and eyewear wouldn't leave anyone the wiser. "Ahh, yeah, y'got it boss. ...Quickie recap before we deploy might not hurt though?"

[1:21] Captain Collider@Swixer: "I'm...sure if it really mattered, we'd remember it..." He folds his arms in thought before looking at the holographic display beside him. "In any case, we're docked beside...something, so maybe we should dismount?"

[1:22] The Crawdad@micromax2000: THE CRAWDAD hadn't even attempted to hide the fact that he was currently zoned out of actually listening to whatever Cap was saying. He was far too busy trying to finally squeeze his giant seabug into one of the conference chairs of a smaller make.

[1:22] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "Man, I wonder if we'll find some kinda pizza dimension soon... I'm starvin'."

[1:22] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Why would the meeting be about pasta?" He sighs, looking around at the others. "Captain, you said that we needed to resist... something?" He looks to the holodisplay and shrugs. "Right. Maybe that will shed some light on it."

[1:23] Captain Collider@Swixer: Collider shakes his head at Ultima King as he moves towards the air lock. "I think you're mistaken. Where's QUARK?"

[1:24] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "I'm right here, boss. My name's not QUARK, though."

[1:24] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Maybe he's already at... ah," Ultima King pauses on his way to the airlock and gestures vaguely. "Here. Wherever we're going."

[1:24] Captain Collider@Swixer: He puts his hands on the airlock, causing it to open after a brief fingerprint scan. "Permanent state of fluctuation."

[1:25] Watchman@Alstann: The Watchman sat in his chair, glancing between Collider and Celsius, trying to make sense of the conversation. "I haven't seen him around."

[1:25] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Gotta be on the ship somewhere. Sure as shit didn't leave him- permanent state 'a what?"

[1:25] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Hm? What? Nothing. Let's go, Frontiersmen." With that, he walks out of the extending ramp and into a bright light below. "Where's QUARK?"

[1:26] The Crawdad@micromax2000: "I'm sorry - I must have nodded off during Calculus. "Flux-Capaci-what?"

[1:26] Desperado@machinegunblues: In the same breath he draws his pistols, spinning the cylinders with his thumb experimentally. "Y'asked that arready Cap, focus up."

[1:27] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "This isn't right. I'm sure there's something very wrong here," Ultima King hesitates a moment, trying to gather his thoughts, then floats down he ramp.

[1:27] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: In Celsius' hands, an icy baseball formed, the icy mass idly tossing it back and forth.



[1:29] Captain Collider@Swixer: Once all the Frontiersmen have gone down the ramp, there is a sudden jarring shunt from their touching down on the ground below and their suddenly being in the middle of combat, watching Captain Collider fire blasts of energy and swing glowing fists at...nothing? Crawdad lies on the ground, his shell suddenly split open. Desperado would find himself bleeding out from a gaping hole in his abdomen, Soldier Celsius would find that the lower half of his body has been shattered into fragments and Ultima King would immediately feel a rush of weakness, as if aged to near death in a moment. Similarly, Uplift is being torn apart by a black hole opening up from her chest and Watchman pincushioned with his own arrows.



[1:35] Desperado@machinegunblues: The gunslinger clicks his auto-revolvers on empty, barrels smoking and hot, other hand applying pressure to the wound he's sure is mortal. "Sonofawhore... *coughhack* Which onna you sorry shits did I let talk me inta goin' to space? Remind me. Cuz fuck you." He laughs dryly, which immediately wracks him with pain.

[1:37] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Resist... I knew, I know he said something about it," Ultima King wheezes, his armor weighing down on him. "But how long ago was that?"

[1:37] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius' arms reached out to pull the various fragments of his legs closer, then begin to reform them via drawing in vapors from his gauntlets. Although there were many questions in his head, the greatest of all was "Why did it have to be my nice boots?"

[1:38] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift is dead.

[1:39] Watchman@Alstann: Watchman seizes up and falls on his back, groaning in pain. It hurt to move any of his limbs for some reason, and all he could do is lay there.

[1:42] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad comes falling forward against the ground as an outpour of hot steam comes rushing out the breached area on his crab armor, both arms flailing to reach the split on his back but failing spectacularly. It looks like he's doing the worm in reverse. "CRIMNY! What's goin' on here!" He cries out.

[1:39] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Boss... *cough* Boss. This in't right. Somethin' ain't right. Besides... I mean, besides this," pointing to the source of his imminent exsanguination.



[1:38] Captain Collider@Swixer: Slugged by whatever invisible presence he's fighting, Captain Collider collides with the ground below, kicking up a plume of dust. As it clears, he drags himself towards Desperado and looks at him with fierce determination. "Okay, Frontiersmen, listen up: we're entering a universe which is being distorted by a--" Before he can finish, the Frontiersmen would find themselves in the middle of the simulation room of the Globetrotter, which has been formed to look like an urban basketball court. Without really knowing why, they're all scattered around with their arms outstretched in a manner that suggests they were playing a game. Soldier Celsius has the ball, and Captain Collider stands at the basket ready to receive. "There has to be a more constructive way to spend our time between destinations." Any injuries they might have received before have vanished for some reason.



[1:44] Desperado@machinegunblues: "...The Globetrotter. I get it. Ahahah!" As though he just figured this out. "...Wait."

[1:45] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift just lies on the court, starring up at the ceiling, "I'm dead, guys."

[1:46] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider looks over at Uplift, hands on his hips. "Where's QUARK?"

[1:46] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: King coughs and looks around warily. "Basketball? No, stop, stop. No one is dead. We... I think we're out of sync. It has to do with the mission we were on... are going to be on?"

[1:46] Uplift@Realsorceror: "Bench me, coach. I'll never fly again."

[1:46] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "Ball is life, Frontiersmen," Celsius said as he danced his way around Captain Collider to spring into the air and land a backboard-shattering dunk.

[1:46] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Wait, King's right! Look. I ain't tryin' to be morbid or nothin, but- I could swear.. shit. Nevermind. Gotta be the migraines."

[1:47] Watchman@Alstann: The archer got up, staring at his chest for a moment. "Well, that sucked." He got up, walking towards a nearby chair.

[1:47] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Celsius lunges for the basketball hoop, a sudden flash of some brightly glowing form would appear before him, plunging a fist through his abdomen and blowing his lower half to pieces. Captain Collider applauds this. "Nice dunk! Three points, I think!"

[1:48] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius is soundly blown away, an icy apparition of Magic Johnson emerging from a burst of water vapor from his gauntlets to grab the ball mid-flight and finish the dunk.

[1:49] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: He extends his hands, trying to work up a spell that will clear his mind and allow him some insight into the flow of time.

[1:49] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift eventually gets off the floor only to scream like a little girl at the scary basketball players.

[1:49] Captain Collider@Swixer: Magic Johnson makes the dunk in memory of his fallen teammate. As the ball bounces to his feet, Captain Collider picks it up and gets ready to pass it to Crawdad. "Permanent state of fluctuation. It's like temporal dementia. There's no linearity. Actions are disordered. Nothing makes sense. Where's QUARK?"

[1:51] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado had no idea what that meant, but it validated his immediate sense that something was wrong. "Go back. Temporal whatnow? How do we stop it?"

[1:51] Captain Collider@Swixer: He tosses the ball to Crawdad. "WATCHMAN! NO!"

[1:52] The Crawdad@micromax2000: "I'm not old enough to be sufferin' from any of that crap!" He grunts out as he claws himself onto working legs, consciously ignoring what might or might not have been an open wound and tosses an open claw straight out towards the fastly approaching ball.



[1:52] Captain Collider@Swixer: Ultima begins to concoct his spell as Captain Collider continues to speak gibberish. Once cast, he gains some sense of self-awareness. This event had occurred before under different circumstances. The flow of time was...scattered, illegible, as if someone had taken its pieces and mixed them up in a bag. Something certainly wasn't right...



[1:52] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift runs into the corner and floats into a fetal position, "No mas!"

[1:53] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Soldier Celsius begins to clap. "Congratulations!"

[1:53] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "I can... see it. I can see it! We have to find a way to isolate the fluctuations! Maybe... I can work something up. But I need more time to understand the nature of what's happening."

[1:53] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider turns to Uplift, his eyes burning brightly. "Pass me the rock!" With that, he fires a powerful blast of atomic energy at her from his eyes, sweeping it across the room in a large horizontal arc "YOU KILLED THEM! YOU MONSTER!"

[1:56] Uplift@Realsorceror Uplift is scarred for life.

[1:56] Watchman@Alstann: Watchman turned around to see Collider fire an energy blast, immediately trying to stay out of the blast radius. "What the hell? Ultima King, what's happening?"

[1:56] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "We're reliving a moment that came before. But this definitely isn't how it happened. There was another..." Ultima raises his hands and forms a glimmering golden shield that holds back the atomic blasts. He strains against the power, temporarily distracted from his insights. "I saw something. Something that doesn't belong," he grunts. "Did anyone else see it?"

[1:59] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift floats down to the floor and timidly looks around the room, "No, man. I didn't see shit."

[1:59] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Ship's log?" he asides to King quickly. "Get some sense 'a- NO!" He quickdraws one of his six-shooters, firing one of his stun rounds square at Collider's chest.



[2:00] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Desperado draws his six-shooter, the team find themselves seated around the table in the center of the Globetrotter's cafeteria. Desperado's six-shooter is now a slice of pizza, which Soldier Celsius finds himself reaching for. Everyone else tucks in as Captain Collider pulls himself a slice. "There's no such thing as a pizza dimension, Sal. But if you're hungry, we could get some from the cafeteria."

[2:02] Desperado@machinegunblues: "IF there was a pizza dimension," he pulls down his mask to take a big bite and continue talking, "Wouldn't we be the horrible world-eatin' monsters if we went there?"

[2:02] Uplift@Realsorceror: "No thanks....man. I'm good. I don't want any weird holo-pizza."

[2:03] Watchman@Alstann: And suddenly, he's sitting at a table with pizza on it. "I-- What?" He squinted at the food. "I'm... having a difficult time understanding right now."

[2:03] The Crawdad@micromax2000: "Does that even do anything for you?" Crawdad looks over at Celsius primed and ready to make the slice disappear, watching with piqued interest on how he's actually going to manage that. "Like... Like... where does it go in?"

[2:03] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius grabbed himself a slice of pizza, throwing it against his face, which reformed itself into some strange sort of paper-shredder like device that shredded the slice. The shredded remains of the slice popped out from the shredder-like ice device, falling onto the floor unceremoniously.



[2:02] Captain Collider@Swixer: As calmly as he said his last sentence, he turns to Uplift and offers her some sound advice. "Don't get close to it! The tachyons might have an inverse effect on your gravity field." None of them seem to quite remember what they were doing before. Though Ultima King might have a vague inkling due to his magic.



[2:03] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift backs away, "W-what the heck is a tachyon? Is it poisonous?"

[2:04] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: King takes a moment to adjust to his new reality, then immediately bolts up. "No! We... we weren't doing this. I know we weren't." He looks around the table, suddenly feeling embarrassed since he can't remember what happened.

[2:04] Captain Collider@Swixer: "It's imperative to our survival that you remember why we're here, what we're up against and how to resist it."

[2:04] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Resist... I remember that."

[2:04] Desperado@machinegunblues: "...Resist what, boss?"

[2:05] Captain Collider@Swixer: He looks up at Ultima King. "Temporal dementia. Where's QUARK? We need to find him."

[2:05] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "If there are infinite possibilities at work here, one of those should be a planet made entirely out of pizza."

[2:05] Watchman@Alstann: "Easier said than done. I... think we're having lunch?" He hesitated to go for a slice, instead sitting back against the chair and glancing around the room.

[2:06] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Yer tellin' me you ain't got a tracker on that thing, like a robot lo-jack?"



[2:06] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Watchman glances around the room, he would find himself surrounded by the corpses of the various Frontiersmen present. However, no one else would be capable of seeing this bizarre sight.



[2:07] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Temporal dementia... And QUARK. Why is QUARK important?" King shakes his head. "This doesn't make any sense. I know we weren't eating."

[2:07] Captain Collider@Swixer: Ultima King, meanwhile, would feel that something isn't quite right with the scene and, upon closer inspection, would notice a glowing form being knocked around the room behind Captain Collider. Still eating some pizza, the hero looks up at him and then down at the table.* "Nice dunk. Three points, I think. Don't worry, the Frontiersmen will deal with this."


[2:08] Watchman@Alstann: "What the--" he exclaims, getting out of his seat in shock. "What happened?!" He quickly unfolds his compound bow, assuming a killer is nearby.

[2:09] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad gives Watchman a weird look at his sudden outburst. "Ey' Watchman, where you goin'? Your slice is gonna get cold!" He waves a claw over at him to beckon him back.

[2:11] Watchman@Alstann: "Who said that?!" Nocking an arrow against the bowstring, he attempts to shoot it towards the sound of the voice.

[2:10] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "There it is... Whatever it is. I think I remember this." He starts forward, towards the glowing figure. "It's so far away though. Like a memory."



[2:10] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Crawdad beckons towards Watchman with his claw, he would suddenly find himself swinging it aggressively at a flailing, glowing humanoid form and remembering one thing: this thing was dangerous and needed to be stopped for some sciency reason. However, he seems to be the only one who sees the glowing form as the scene resets to one on a strange, alien planet covered in glowing cracks which burn with an unnatural shade of pink. Captain Collider stands across from a humanoid-looking alien with three eyes, pointy ears and yellow skin, shaking its hand in a reassuring manner. "Forward, Frontiersmen! Don't let up! If we let it get even a second's chance, we'll be hurtled through the timestream!" The glowing form Crawdad fights attempts to dislodge him, swinging a hand at him which would strike with the force of a 500 ton hammer.



[2:13] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Don't worry, the Frontiersmen will deal with this..." King mutters.

[2:14] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado unslings his long rifle. "Let's give 'em hell, boys!"

[2:15] Captain Collider@Swixer: Desperado would draw his rifle only to find it replaced by what appears to be a long metal staff with a glowing tip.

[2:16] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius stood up, at the ready. A heavy coating of ice covered the slice of pizza he held in his hand, shaping it into a razor-sharp chakram which he hurtled for the alien.

[2:16] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider turns and pats him on the shoulder, fondly. "Plunge it into him. Condense his tachyons."

[2:16] Desperado@machinegunblues: "...Very funny, who switched out my Winchester? This is serious shit, y'know!"

[2:16] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Pass me the rock."

[2:17] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad halts his crab arm waving long enough to realize that one of these things just didn't belong. "...Wait a second... wait I'm rememberin' somethin, somethin, bad about this guy." He knocks a heavy claw against the side of his head to help his flashbacking, only to catch a total suckerpunch to the kisser, driving him off balance and sending him into a backwards somersault.

[2:17] Desperado@machinegunblues: "...Wait who, him?" He gestures towards the alien, seeing no one else around but him and their fellow Frontiermen."

[2:21] Watchman@Alstann: Assuming he's still seeing dead people, he backs up with his bow out, trying to make sense of everything. He couldn't, though. Because it doesn't.



[2:19] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider laughs as Crawdad lands at his feet. ".ti tsiser ot woh dna tsniaga pu er'ew tahw ,ereh er'ew yhw rebmemer uoy taht lavivrus ruo ot evitarepmi s'tI" As the glowing form flies towards the Frontiersmen and Celsius tosses his weapon at the terrified alien, the scene suddenly cuts back to the briefing in the mission room.



[2:21] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado suddenly wonders why he'd holding his rifle at a ready position.

[2:22] Captain Collider@Swixer: "The only method of containing its temporal pulsations is by using these." With that, he draws a baton from within his cape and expands it into a metal staff with a glowing tip. "These tachyon condensers should force its tachyon particles together, drawing them out from the timestream like lightning rods and allowing it to revert to its normal state."

[2:23] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad carefully runs the edge of his armored claw across the back of his noggin, wondering why it suddenly felt like a train had ran over it. "Unnugh..."

[2:23] Desperado@machinegunblues: "How we use 'em? There a button or...."

[2:24] Captain Collider@Swixer: "You've each been given one. If you can all get them planted, the plan should work. But, you'll need to act fast, because--" Just then, the door to the mission room opens and QUARK flies in, erratically. "Error! Error! Oh dear, oh dear! This is absolutely bonkers!"

[2:24] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad gives a brisk shake of the head to sober himself up, gritting his teeth together in an upsurge of rage as he suddenly slams a claw down in the centre of the conference table. "NNGH, HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!"

[2:25] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Rather compact for such an impressive effect," King cuts off as QUARK enters. "For some reason... I feel like I've been looking for you for a while." He jumps a bit when Crawdad becomes crawmad.

[2:25] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider blinks at Crawdad. "Three points, I think."

[2:25] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "What?"

[2:25] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift is pretty much checked out mentally until Crawdad starts screaming. Screaming seems like a great idea, "AHHHH-WHAT?! Oh. Are we back to normal now?"

[2:26] Captain Collider@Swixer: QUARK flies around the room, crashing wildly into the walls and ceilings. "It's terribly wrong! Terribly terribly terribly wrong!"

[2:26] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Temporal whatsits, huh?" He grabs a pad and paper, scrawling something on it and taping it to the handle. "Hell you on about, QUARK?"

[2:27] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius grabs a slice that he'd stuffed into his pocket and froze it to the end of the pole, reshaping the ice to create his pizza spear.

[2:27] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider looks upwards at QUARK and then back to Desperado. "His video feedback is powered by the same source I use to power the Parton Portal. It should playback in a temporally linear fashion. Where's QUARK?"

[2:27] Watchman@Alstann: "Odd little device," he says, before glancing at everyone again. "Something seems really off... and why do I feel sore everywhere?"

[2:28] Captain Collider@Swixer: He turns to Soldier Celsius. "Don't worry, the Frontiersmen will take care of this."

[2:28] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Fighting against the very natural urge to flip over the entire table, Crawdad subsequently throws himself back in his seat, crossing both arms over one another.

[2:28] Uplift@Realsorceror: "Will we, though?"

[2:28] Captain Collider@Swixer: He then looks over to the others. "There may be infinite possibilities, true, but it's highly unlikely that we will encounter a pizza dimension."

[2:29] Uplift@Realsorceror: "I kinda feel like we're not in control here."

[2:29] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado looks at Collider and his disjointed statements, back to his note, then to the 'bot. "...QUARK. QUARK, c'mere."

[2:29] Watchman@Alstann: "Ultima King, what's going on?" he said, feeling like he just repeated himself for some reason.

[2:29] Captain Collider@Swixer: QUARK flies over to Desperado, whirling wildly. "Error! Error! Error! Error!"

[2:30] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: Ultima King reaches for his tachyon condenser. "No. We just need to remember. We have to use these at the right time."

[2:30] The Crawdad@micromax2000: "This don't feel right at all..." He grouses with a furrow brow. He briefly looks over at Celsius now weaponizing his pizza slice. "Not right at all."

[2:30] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Quitcherbitchin' and play back the last... couple hours or so."



[2:31] Captain Collider@Swixer: As QUARK finally comes to a stop before Desperado, he is suddenly replaced by a whirling ball of energy which blows a hole through the cowboy's abdomen. The Frontiersmen find themselves in the middle of the world ravaged by pink cracks, the ground beneath them vibrating violently. Watchman looses a nocked arrow at the pink creature above, which has a single metal staff with a note attached to it sticking out of his back. Soldier Celsius is nothing more than a puddle. Ultima King is a pile of ashes. The only ones standing are Crawdad, the soon to be un-standing Desperado, Watchman and Uplift. The note says, "In case of time-fuckery, use this thing. - Desperado"



[2:32] Uplift@Realsorceror: "Oh mi dios de mierda que murió!"

[2:32] Desperado@machinegunblues: He rubs his temples, shaking his head as he feels the pangs of a migraine coming on- and then is blasted onto his ass, a smoking fist-sized void blasted through his guts. "...Sonofawhore," *cough-hack* Which 'a you shitheels talked me inta goin' to space? 'Cuz fuck you."

[2:34] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Watchman's arrow flies at the creature, it extends a hand, multiplying it by fifty and sending them all back at Watchman, pincushioning the heroic archer with them. Captain Collider is nowhere to be seen, but moments after this is done, a shout of "WATCHMAN! NO!" can be heard, followed by the creature being sent flying by some invisible force.

[2:36] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: Ultima King is ashes. And quite content about it, really.

[2:37] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift is all wide-eyed and crazy, "Is it the pink thing? Is that doing it? ...and it's gone?"

[2:38] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad was currently doing sick 4X4 ATV donuts on the ground in his revving ball form, trying to buff out the breach in his armor that he just didn't have. "HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!" He screams as he continues making deeper tracks in the ground.

[2:38] Watchman@Alstann: Watchman utters a "Great." before his own arrows pierce his torso, causing him to fall to the ground again after seizing up from the impact. The feeling is familiar, but he can only groan in pain.

[2:38] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado's gun clicks empty, and he switches to the other, firing at the staff. A pinpoint, impossibly accurate shot meant to dislodge it from the entity's grasp. Somehow he knew the lower-powered rounds he'd loaded wouldn't break the device's shaft.



[2:40] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Desperado draws his slice of pizza, the scene changes to an entirely different one. On the Globertrotter's simulated basketball court, Captain Collider punges his staff into the pink creature, who currently has five sticking out of it, none of which have a note detached. Soldier Celsius holds the ball. Desperado holds a baton with a note on it. Watchman is pincushioned and bleeding to death. Uplift is being distorted into a singularity by a black hole, and Ultima King is eating pizza on the ceiling. Crawdad is still doing donuts, only now he's doing them backwards.


[2:42] Uplift@Realsorceror Uplift is dead and just frickin' melts.

[2:42] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado hurls his slice of pizza at the creature with unerring accuracy. ...Realizing he'd just wasted good pizza, he looks at the shaft, then hurls that at it like a javelin.

[2:42] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "I haven't had pizza in a while."



[2:44] Captain Collider@Swixer: Desperado strikes the creature with his staff, causing it to emit a high pitched whine and fire a blast of energy at the cowboy's abdomen. Before it connects, however, the Frontiersmen find themselves back in the Mess Hall, this time eating basketballs, apparently. Crawdad's shell is cracked open, Uplift is alive and well, Desperado is about to eat his six-shooter, Watchman is nocking an arrow, Ultima King is preparing to throw a staff at nothing and Soldier Celsius is preparing to throw QUARK for some reason, the robot squealing in his grasp. "Error! Error!" Captain Collider holds his basketball, hungrily. "Where's QUARK?"



[2:46] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius eats a slice of pizza off of QUARK's hull, tossing the robot to the side. "I don't know, man."

[2:47] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad sees no problem with trying (and repeatedly failing) to grasp ahold of his plastic eating utensil with a humongous claw to try and tuck 'in' to his own ball. Rather he still is INCREDIBLY IRATE at SOMETHING and settles with trying to shove the ball into his mouth-hole. "HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!"

[2:47] Captain Collider@Swixer: Watchman would find a note attached to his bow, reading "3:42:14".

[2:48] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desp bites into metal an immediately recoils. "OWWFUCK OH GOD WHY DID I DO THAT"

[2:48] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "I haven't had basketball in a while."

[2:50] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Pass me the rock! It should playback in a temporally linear fashion!" He chews hungrily on his basketball.

[2:51] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Solder Celsius appears to turn into a sentient slice of basketball.

[2:52] Uplift@Realsorceror: Uplift is a singularity that talks, "Guys, this is freaking me out!"

[2:52] Watchman@Alstann: "Hold on a second..." He pauses, taking a good look at the note, trying to figure out what it means before the bow itself turns into a slice of pizza with the note on it. "Wh--"



[2:52] Captain Collider@Swixer: In a flash, the Frontiersmen are in another scene. This time, they fight the pink creature in the mission room. It has three staves in it, one of which has a note on it. Watchman is scrawling 3:42 onto a piece of paper while the other surviving Frontiersmen, which is to say Crawdad and Uplift, both stand at the ready with staves. Everyone else is either dead, dying or, in the case of Captain Collider, giving a presentation on pizza. "These cheese condensers should force its deliciousness together, drawing them out from the crust like lightning rods and allowing it to revert to its most delicious state."



[2:55] Uplift@Realsorceror: "Oh....I'm a person again. Okay...I think I need to stab that pink bastard with this stick." She fuckin' launches that wand thing like a meteorite crashing into a dinosaur. Extinction speed, man. Probably unsafe.

[3:01] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Still coming out of it from the latest reality warp, Crawdad hangs back to see where Uplift was going with her stave. He gives his noggin another solid tap to get himself to focus and travels forward to follow behind. "Aha! I see where you're going with this kiddo!" He tosses his stave with an overarm throw... and gets to watch it break in two in his still clenched claws. "AH SHIT! FUCK ME!"

[3:03] Watchman@Alstann: Writing "3:42" on a piece of paper, he pauses to think about what's happening, but feels compelled to continue with his task and keeps writing.



[3:04] Captain Collider@Swixer: Uplift's stave embeds itself in the creature, causing it to wail out in pain. It turns its attention towards her just as Crawdad snaps his staff in two. As it levels its hand, the scene changes to one in which Crawdad, mounted on the pink being with the useful half of his broken staff in hand in a manner similar to earlier, wails at it with his claws. It has three staves in it. Watchman kneels with his bow drawn, his staff attached to the nocked arrow. Soldier Celsius has his in hand. Ultima King opts to throw a basketball instead. Desperado fires his pizzas at a panicking QUARK and Uplift dribbles a basketball. Captain Collider surges forward with his staff. "Forward, Frontiersmen! If we let it get even a second's chance, we'll be hurtled through the timestream!"



[3:10] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "...I was never any good at basketball."

[3:11] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius grasps his staff, forming a sheet of ice around his in the shape of a javelin, then rearing back and throwing it for the alien.

[3:13] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado draws his handguns with greased-stained fingers and blazes away at the figure to cover the advance of the spear-wielders.

[3:13] Watchman@Alstann: Watchman steadies his aim, trying to get accustomed to his makeshift 'staff-arrow', and fires it directly at the alien near the other staves.

[3:15] Captain Collider@Swixer: The alien is struck on both sides by both staves, causing it to wail out in pain. It now has five in it, with only Crawdad left to jam his in from his mounted position and Captain Collider fast approaching with his own.

[3:16] Uplift@Realsorceror: "Dad, don't you fuck this up!"

[3:17] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad's balance wavers momentarily as both arms come flailing out to keep himself from falling from atop the alien behemoth. "WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE, KIDDO!" He chastises the younger hero with a wagging claw as he drives his broken stave end into the alien's hide. "Wo-whoa!"



[3:21] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Crawdad violates the poor alien with his staff, it lets loose one final ear-piercing cry and, before Captain Collider can land the finishing blow, the Frontiersmen find themselves in a new scene. The planet, once covered in pink temporal fractures, is now almost completely engulfed in pink light. The pink being floats above the Frontiersmen, stuck through with six staves, the note of which falls off of one and towards the ground. They all seem to be in battle positions. It would be at that moment that Uplift would notice something scrawled hastily onto Crawdad's back. Captain Collider, however, is nowhere to be found.



[3:26] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Is it working? It has to be..."

[3:27] Uplift@Realsorceror: "I'm never hanging out with you assholes again."

[3:28] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "Pizza...?"

[3:28] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Six in 'em? One more, One more!"

[3:28] Watchman@Alstann: "But where's Collider?"

[3:28] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Where the hell's the Captain?" Bang bang, he hurls lead in the creature's direction, rapidly working the rifle's lever. Not that he thought it would do any good.



[3:29] Captain Collider@Swixer: Scrawled in what appears to be a sharpie on Crawdad's back is '1:23:50'. At that exact moment, the pink creature prepares to turn its attention on the Frontiersmen. Though its power has been diminished by the condensers, it still easily absorbs Desperado's bullets and, with a wave of the hand, sends the Frontiersmen back to where it all started -- the mission room aboard the Globetrotter. Their memories wiped clean, they merely watch as Captain Collider wraps up his briefing. "That's why it's imperative to our survival that you remember why we're here, what we're up against and how to resist it." Ultima King's magic from earlier/later/now/whatever, would suddenly trigger at that moment. As the others repeat their actions, a sudden flash of knowledge sent through mystical means by some other Ultima King from some other time would cause him to remember everything that had happened to the heroes through their chronal jumping, surging through his brain like wildfire.



[3:36] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: The mage suddenly cries out as knowledge floods his head. "Aaagh! We... we've done all this. Or will do all this! Resist! Temporal... dementia!" He manages to gasp.

[3:37] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Whoa, King.. c'mon, talk sense. If y'know somethin', say it."

[3:37] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider perks an eyebrow at him. "Um...what?"

[3:37] Watchman@Alstann: "What's wrong? Is there danger?"

[3:38] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: He takes a moment to regain his composure. "There's a being here. It causes temporal distortions... I saw everyone die. I saw myself die," he shakes his head and searches for the tachyon condenser he was given(?). "QUARK! I think we need QUARK."

[3:39] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Temporal distortions?" Captain Collider seems to be deep in thought. "Hm. That would make sense-- My mind feels scattered. Like my connection to the Metaverse is being toyed with. I can't remember why..." As Ultima King pulls a tachyon condenser, QUARK floats into the room. "You rang, sir?"

[3:40] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "QUARK, do you have any recordings from the past few hours? Anything unusual?"

[3:40] Desperado@machinegunblues: "If there's some temporal... whateverbullshit goin' on, maybe we can check the logs. If those ain't been fucked too."

[3:40] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider turns towards Ultima King. "Wait, if time's being distorted, how come we all seem to be stable now?"

[3:41] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "I... don't know. Someone sent something. Insight... knowledge. Something that might have broken the chain?" He pauses and considers. "A spell. I think it was me..."

[3:41] Captain Collider@Swixer: "QUARK's logs? Go for it. I'm not entirely sure what you'll find." QUARK flies over to Ultima King. "I wouldn't know, sir. I shall access them immediately for--" He whirrs for a moment before spinning erratically. "Error! Error! Error! Does not compute!"

[3:42] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "One of my possible versions," he muses, then looks to QUARK. "He's said this before. In another time. We're not free. We need to find what's causing it and, ah, condense its tachyons." He holds the device out in front of him, showing the others.

[3:43] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider stares on with concern. "His video feedback is powered by the same source I use to power the Parton Portal. It should playback in a temporally linear fashion... That's if there's been some kind of temporal distortion as you've said."

[3:44] Desperado@machinegunblues: He folds his arms across his chest and peers at the bot through his goggles. "Hopefully it'll make some kinda sense. Won't lie, the particulars are a 'lil over my head."

[3:44] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "I think... we'll be prepared this time." He nods.



[3:45] Captain Collider@Swixer: "QUARK: emergency shutdown. Passphrase: Vanessa." With that, QUARK ceases flying around uncontrollably and falls to the table. Moving over to him, Captain Collider pulls open a hatch to reveal a keypad and pounds something into it. A holographic display opens up in front of them. "There's hundred of hours of footage here...Are there any specific times we're meant to be looking into?"



[3:45] Watchman@Alstann: "I'm getting an unusually large sense of deja vu, so... you may be right, King. This is the multiverse we're talking about."

[3:47] Captain Collider@Swixer: As if triggered at that moment, Watchman and Uplift might remember some choice pieces of information from other timelines.

[3:48] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "I remember something being written down. Times maybe..."

[3:48] Uplift@Realsorceror: "Uh, someone wrote something down, I think? I'm not sure...I was dead-ish for half of this."

[3:49] Watchman@Alstann: Suddenly, he holds his head as if nursing a bad headache. "Agh, my head, I--" He pauses before speaking, "I just remembered something: '3:42:14'."

[3:51] Desperado@machinegunblues: "...Good a place t'start as any, eh?"

[3:51] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider looks between Watchman and Uplift before punching the time given by the former into QUARK's keypad. In an instant, footage of the Frontiersmen fighting a glowing void of pink comes up on stage. In a brief shift of light, they might make out the fact that the void is actually humanoid in shape, with six metal staves sticking out of it. As Captain Collider flies onto camera to sink a seventh one in, he is struck by a blast of pink energy, disappearing from sight. "Fascinating...I don't recall any of this..."

[3:53] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "It both has and hasn't happened yet."

[3:53] Watchman@Alstann: "That's impossible. But then again, nothing seems to make sense at the moment."

[3:54] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Sure as shit don't, I'm just... goin' with it for now. But it looks like we came pretty damn close. Came down to that one moment right there."

[3:55] Captain Collider@Swixer: "It doesn't." He turns back to Uplift. "Are you sure you don't remember anything about what you just told us? It could be the key behind figuring out...whatever this is."

[3:58] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad heaves a slow sigh as he falls backwards on his keister, bracing a claw against his knee and propping his chin against it. "Hnngh." Crawdad ceases movement in his mighty MECHANICAL TAIL as he slowly peers over his right shoulder, then his left, trying to look around his person for something or another. "Hey... fellas, does it looks like I have something that shouldn't be there... on m'back?"

[4:06] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Huh. What's there?"



[4:04] Captain Collider@Swixer: Captain Collider blinks at Crawdad and types something else into QUARK's keypad. The tape begins to fast forward until it gets to a point where Crawdad leaps at the pink being, revealing black markings which are scrawled on his back. A quick enhancement of the image reveals that they are also a sequence of numbers: 1:23:50.



[4:06] Watchman@Alstann: "Another time in the recording?"



[4:06] Captain Collider@Swixer: "1:23:50..." Captain Collider types the number into the keypad, reversing the video to the earlier point where the Frontiersmen were caught in a warped version of the basketball court, fighting the pink creature. Captain Collider emerges in a flash of pink and drives his staff into the creature, but, unseen to them before, actually drives it in the wrong way round. It instantly gets left behind the next time the heroes jump through time, sending it clattering to the ground.



[4:07] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Why the fuck did I throw a pizza at it?"

[4:08] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Soldier Celsius looks beyond lost, so he simply sits at the table and continues to cram pizza against his face.

[4:09] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "It looks like we know where things went wrong now."

[4:09] Captain Collider@Swixer: "The question is what can we do about it..."

[4:10] The Crawdad@micromax2000: Crawdad spends a few more lingering moments to look at the footage that only seemed to serve to give him a bigger headache. He too makes a slow walk for where Celsius was at to secure himself a slice. "Is this even real? The pizza I mean." He holds up a slice that just barely manages to stay in between his pincers before carefully pulling it up to his mouth like a skill crane.

[4:10] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Yes. No. Temporal complications can get...well, complicated. But I'm starting to think the reason we're so stable at this point is because we haven't actually stepped into the sphere of influence of this thing."

[4:11] Watchman@Alstann: "Any ideas? We need to figure something out without... messing up again."

[4:12] Desperado@machinegunblues: "So whadda we do, make another go? Seems like we just need to get the last one in the sumbitch. Hell, give it t'me, I won't miss. That's kinda my bit."

[4:12] Captain Collider@Swixer: "...Which means that, despite everything, time is still linear so long as we remain here." Captain Collider seems to get an idea. "I'm going to hit you all with a blast of energy."

[4:13] Desperado@machinegunblues: "That- umm. Why?"

[4:13] Watchman@Alstann: "You lost me there, Captain."

[4:13] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Please enlighten us."

[4:14] The Crawdad@micromax2000: "... Don't think you need to be putting us out of our miseries just yet, Cap."



[4:14] Captain Collider@Swixer: "If I can do it at just the right frequency and speed, I can use my chronokinesis to send you forward in time to the point where I lose my staff. From that point, you can retrieve it and use it to finish the job. If this thing is really affecting temporal behavior on such a grand scale, it exists in all timelines at once. Meaning that, if you hit it with that final staff, it will be affected regardless of how many are embedded within it... Theoretically, I mean. You may just fail miserably and die."



[4:16] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Not exactly what you'd want to hear, but... I guess it gives us a chance."

[4:16] Watchman@Alstann: "I... don't know about this, but if it's our only plan..."

[4:17] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado looks at his team mates and nods slowly. "Alright. We'll stick the prick, one way or another. No other choice, right?"

[4:17] Captain Collider@Swixer: He turns back to the others. "That's what I like to hear." With that, he charges rings of energy around his right hand, pointing it at the heroes. "Hold on to each other. I'm about to accelerate your atoms faster than the speed of light."

[4:19] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Just ah, do your best," King lets out a breath then reaches for the others. Hold me.

[4:19] Desperado@machinegunblues: He takes Watchmen' shoulder with one hand and king's with the other. Celsius can get in on the huddle in the middle.

[4:19] Watchman@Alstann: "This is probably going to hurt." He huddles with the rest, bracing for impact.



[4:19] Captain Collider@Swixer: With that he fires a wide blast of energy, engulfing the heroes and sending them hurtling forward in time to the point where Captain Collider stuck the pink creature with his staff. As the other Frontiersmen prepare to battle it, the ones from the pre-dementia timeline emerge from the portal, landing beside their alternate selves. With the staff embedded into it the wrong way around, the creature turns to the newcomers with something resembling an alien curiosity.



[4:26] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Arright. While it's busy dealin' with uhh... other us, we gotta get that thing back and stick it int he right way 'round. Ideas?"

[4:27] Watchman@Alstann: "I think, based on the popular theories I've heard, we should try not to interact with our alternate selves... just in case. In terms of the monster, you and I have good aim." With that, he pulls out and unfolds his compound bow with a quick snap. "We could strafe it."

[4:27] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "No time for banter," King says. "I invoke the claws of Horol!" King gestures, conjuring a horde of phantom claws that reach out and try to box in the creature! "Move! I will do what I can to keep it occupied! Get the staff through any means necessary!"

[4:30] Desperado@machinegunblues: He whips out his pistols, pulling back the hammers with his thumbs. "Arright. I'll put some hurt on while I try to get in close and git that goddamn time spear whatsit." He comes in low, guns blazing while he tries to close the distance.

[4:28] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: Celsius forms another pair of icy chakrams in his hands, strafing around the circumference of the alien and lobbing the projectiles. "Oi, ugly! Look this way!"



[4:29] Captain Collider@Swixer: As the phantom hands fly out of nowhere towards the pink creature it begins to fall back, tossing balls of temporal energy at them to cause them to dissipate. The alternate Frontiersmen simply shrug and offer their support as Celsius lobs his chakrams. Both slice into the creature's body and disappear from sight, consumed by its form. Desperado fires his bullets ineffectively as he advances on the creature, the alternate Desperado coming in with the same action from a different angle. It unleashes a torrent of temporal energy blasts in response to the assault. One strikes an alternate Crawdad, scattering him throughout time.



[4:34] Watchman@Alstann: "I'll cover you." With great efficiency, he pulls out a couple of trick arrows and fires them at the creature. Their arrowheads are primed to explode on impact.

[4:35] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "It's incredibly powerful. No wonder it was able to cause so much mayhem," Ultima King tsks. "Bold Seingart! I call upon your Unbreakable Barrier!" King holds his hands forward and causes phantasmal gates to appear from the ground in an attempt to further harass and impede the pink peril!

[4:36] Desperado@machinegunblues: Now spent, one of the handguns is replaced in its holster. Instead he reaches for a coil of rope at his side- a lasso, of course, but constructed of extremely high strength synthetic fiber. Once he's in range he gives it a toss, hurling the loop around the protruding staff shaft, giving a tug to tighten the slip knot and yanking with all his might to attempt to dislodge the misplaced spear from the entity's body.



[4:39] Captain Collider@Swixer: Watchman launches a series of exploding arrows at the creature, distracting it long enough for Ultima's phantasmal gates to temporarily trap it, causing its head to whirl around in confusion. With his expert aim, Desperado completes his maneuver, snagging the staff and yanking it from the creature's pink form. It clatters to the ground below as the creature blows the gates away with a temporal pulse and prepares to shift the heroes to another point in the timestream.



[4:42] Desperado@machinegunblues: Desperado yanks the spear into hand, but he knows his throwing arm isn't strong enough to make the shot. Instead he tosses it back to Watchman - his bow just might be able to make the distance.

[4:43] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Not this time!" Ultima King raises his hands and forms a swirling spiral of solid arcane energy. He unleashes this blast at the creature, aiming low and trying to take it off guard to help his team set up their shot!

[4:45] Watchman@Alstann: With a quick nod, he catches the staff in mid-air and attempts to nock it against the bowstring. It's awkward and heavy unlike his arrows, but he soon finds his target and fires it correctly at the monster. Oddly enough, he felt another wave of deja vu.



[4:47] Captain Collider@Swixer: As Desperado snatches the spear, the creature sends a blast of temporal energy at him. Luckily, he manages to pass it just before he is de-aged out of existence. As he turns to Watchman to repeat the action, Ultima takes him off guard with a blast of arcane energy, causing his attack to go off course and take the mage's head off. Watchman looses the arrow before it can recover and, as the staff connects, an earth-shaking screech seems to emanate from several places at once. With bursts of light corresponding to the location of the other embedded staffs at different points in the timestream appearing on its form, the creature reaches out feebly before exploding in a blinding flash of light which engulfs the entire area, erasing every remaining Frontiersmen from existence and leaving nothing but a void of light. The next thing anyone remembers, they are back on the Globetrotter, watching Captain Collider's briefing. "That's why it's imperative to our survival that you remember why we're here, what we're up against and how to resi--" He stops himself, his hand shooting to his head. "I...Wait... I think I...Wait, we were fighting it: the temporal anomaly, and we were losing... What happened?"



[4:52] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "I think we ran out of pizza." Celsius gestured to the empty cardboard box.

[4:53] Watchman@Alstann: "Did we... is it over?"

[4:53] Captain Collider@Swixer: He turns to Celsius with a confused look. "No...we had a plan. A plan to go back in time and...I think it worked." He turns to the holographic display and looks it over. "I'm detecting no further temporal fluctuations on this Earth. I...think we destroyed it."

[4:54] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Thankfully," King sighs and sinks back in his chair. "I never want to repeat something like that again. And again."

[4:55] Captain Collider@Swixer: "...Did I try to eat a basketball?"

[4:55] Watchman@Alstann: The archer sighed, rubbing his head. "Definitely not one of my favorite missions. Too many things were out of my control."

[4:55] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Maybe."

[4:55] Soldier Celsius@Flashhelix: "I don't even know how much pizza I ate. It's a weird feeling."

[4:56] Watchman@Alstann: "I didn't know you could eat."

[4:56] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Hm. I think the quicker we move to our next destination, the better." He looks over to Celsius with a sympathetic look. "And maybe we should lay off the pizza for a while."

[4:56] Desperado@machinegunblues: "And I mighta tried ta kill a sentient temporal anomaly with a slice 'a four-cheese. So let's wipe the vidya on QUARK's HD and never speak 'a this again."

[4:57] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Oh, right, QUARK." Just then, QUARK flies in, slamming wildly into the walls of the room. "ERROR! ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE!"

[4:57] Captain Collider@Swixer: "Yes, wiping his memory would probably be a good move."

[4:57] Ultima King@GeneralFreedom: "Agreed. On all counts."

[4:57] Watchman@Alstann: "Let's hope the others are fine. I think the experience rendered them unconscious."

[4:58] Captain Collider@Swixer: "In any case, I suppose the only thing to say is... Forward, Frontiersmen. And this time, let's try to do it without going backwards."

[4:59] Desperado@machinegunblues: "Hear hear!"

[4:59] Watchman@Alstann: "Roger that."



[4:59] Captain Collider@Swixer: With that, the Globetrotter opens up a portal to the next world in their Multiverse-spanning journey, flying out of sight and leaving behind a very confused population of creatures who were sure they died.