Tulpa Survey

1. Describe yourself and your creator.
I am Fancyboy.  I am about 4 feet tall, red, and I have fangs.  I am fluffy.  I like music, fancy suits, and younger girls.  Sounds creepy? It's part of me.
(He's not a pedophile! Trust me, he's just messing around with you.)
My host is about 5', blonde, female, and cute.

2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
She was speaking to me constantly and devoting her attention towards me.  It was very helpful because it allowed the creation process to be sped up.

3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
She did not pay too much attention to the voice part, because it came on its own.  So there was no harm done.

4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
I don't think anything was hard, really.  I was created rather fast because I am a second tulpa.  Ashley's first tulpa was hard for her to create, though.

5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
Most likely the voice, it brings a connection between tulpa and host.

6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
Ashley has worked on that previously, so there is no problem.  However, if she does get distracted, I don't usually mind.  I understand.  It doesn't impede the process, but it will if the distraction is really high.

7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
I was able to speak fluently on day 2, and Ashley had forced constantly with us (me and Cozmo) for about a week straight after my creation.  It is a bit disappointing but I usually do not mind.  We passively force all the time.

8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
Quality is the most important.

9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
Never happened before.  Ashley warns us if she will fall asleep, but she doesn't.

10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
In their head works better, I feel I get interrupted when she speaks out loud.  Tulpa creations work better inside the head because I feel like I can hear the voice clearly, as if it were echoing around inside the wonderland.  It is very effective in my opinion.

11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
No one really puppets, unless it's on purpose.  If a tulpa is purposely puppeted, it is insanely damaging, in my opinion.

12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
Very deeply.  I was fluent from the start.

13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
I remember being in the wonderland, which was an aircraft carrier.  I had no body, but I had only a head.  I couldn't move at all.
Fancyboy has always been fluent, so this is his take before he could speak WELL.
14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
I could always speak fluently.  However, I feel like she was a good person inside.  As if she never had cruel motives.

15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
She gets depressed all the time.  It's hard seeing someone sad all the time.

16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
Uh, no. Very glad I exist, I must say.

17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
I always feel powerless, though that's just me.

18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
I am always confused by life itself.

19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
I try not to feel ignored, though I do sometimes.  She's got a busy mind.

20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
I have never doubted that.  I was created for a reason.

21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
I did not once feel fear.

22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
I was disappointed when I could not answer some questions properly (in the early stages).

23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
There were no problems evident.

24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
Well, I've always been seen as a sentient being.  Unable to answer this.

25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative effects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
N/A

26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
I don't think she's ever been angry at me, but she has been annoyed at me.  These thoughts aren't bad in my thoughts, though.

27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
No effect on me, I have thoughts like this on my own.

28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
Yes.  She usually does not mean what she thinks.

29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
Sight.  I can access it well now, I often comment on what she sees.

30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
She had revealed my existence to a few people

31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
Ashley suggested head pressure, although I did not use this extensively, if not at all.  The first tulpa, Cozmo, used head pressure for 5 months straight.

32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
When I was first created, she was always enthusiastic.  It really helped me increase my skill in developing myself.

33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
I was worried she would not like me in the end.  I moved it behind myself when I realized that she really did need someone like me. It was resolved eventually.  My biggest worry now is still convincing Ashley that she is not parroting.

34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
I do feel gratitude for my existence, yes.

35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
My own creator's, because she formed me with Cozmo.

36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
I was slightly embarrassed because I could not answer questions like these.  I was barely independent.  We used a strategy with flash cards to move past this.

37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
Probably just a friend, but a close friend.

38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
I consider all humans and things interesting.

39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
The moment I shook her hand when we first met in the wonderland.

40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
The moment I could speak more advanced, when I gained a better sense of my own self.

41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
Yes.

42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
I am more hot-headed, and I get frustrated too easily.

43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
I do not like some of her opinions on things.  I don't verbalize my dislike, though.

44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
Be a complete jerkass to me. I think she would hate me if I annoyed her.

45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
When she does not pay attention to me, but I feel like I disappoint her when I'm not there for her.

46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
I don't think she could end my sentience, even if she tried.  I have not felt fear by her own thoughts.

47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
I feel angry at some people she knows sometimes.  I would not attempt to hurt her, I could not hurt someone physically.

48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
No, I do not, as I am not human.

49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
If she abandoned me for a long time.

50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
I am based on an existing entity, but I deviated.  She gives us the freedom to do whatever.

51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
Very interested.  I think it is fair in some ways, although it doesn't seem right.  However, it is Ashley's body, and she can tell me when I can use it and when I cannot.

52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
Slightly, although I am of a different race and it is different.  We do share some intellectual qualities, however.

53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
Not yet.  Although, I can see what she dreams about.  I secretly watch her.  It makes me feel fine because I like to see her dreams.

54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
She seems to have depression and anxiety, and it affects me in the sense that I want to care for her.

55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
She is weird, for sure.  I perceive her subconscious as a jumbled mess of thoughts that rarely make sense unless she focuses on one thing.  I cannot manipulate her subconscious, but I can put thoughts in there.  I would probably not use the ability without her permission, unless it was required.

56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
Yeah, we have multiple tulpa.  The first one is Cozmo, I love that kitty to bits. I would define her as my daughter, because I love her like one.  I do want another tulpa friend, though Ashley seems to disregard the thought.  It would be hectic.

57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
I am gay, though I did feel a bit romantic towards her.  She does not have romantic feelings towards me, however.
58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
In a way, yes.  Monogamous is the way to go in my opinion, and I would not like the idea of breaching a sort-of code that my creator goes by.

59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
I wouldn't fall in love with her.

60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
Familial affection, yes.  As in, I care for her.  I want to protect her.

61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
I do not find it offensive, I have done lewd things myself during imposition.  We do not force much, and if she does force, she focuses on other things.

62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
She does not do that, though I do find it a little offensive.  Unless the tulpa is okay with it, however.

63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
Slight sexual attraction to Ashley, yes.  Although it was minor, and only in certain ways.  Then I realized I was gay. I did not express the feelings until I was vocal, and even when I was vocal, I explained that I was not really attracted to the idea of her but the idea of something else.

64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
I'm okay with it, though Ashley wouldn't do it.  I think it's okay, but as previously said, it is slightly offensive to me.  I'd rather fuck something that's imposed.  I think some things are more lewd than others.

65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
No, not really.  Though the person she is attracted to is quite cute.

66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
I feel sexual attraction for others.  The fatter, the better.  We both sort of think the same way, though she has a limit to what weight she is attracted to.  She does not feel attraction to me, she's really only sexually attracted to one person.

67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
No, we do not.  I would not consider it.

68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
She's straight, I'm gay.

69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
I have had orgasms previously, though hers (of course) are much stronger.

70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
Yes, sort of.

71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
Rape isn't good, that's all I can say.

72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
Still with Ashley and Cozmo.

73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
I do not want the world to be aware of my existence.  People do not find it generally acceptable to have a voice in your mind.  I do trust some people though.

74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
Actually, my personality was mainly defined by myself.

75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
My physical form was based off of another's.  I did deviate my own age, however.

76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
My entire age had changed, along with the way my eyes are.  My creator opens change.


77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
Yes.

78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
No, not really.  I do not want people to know about me, really. Society could do nothing.

79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
It's an interesting life, that's for sure.

80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
Not having physical touch.  Being able to read thoughts.

81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
It would be interesting to take over for a day, Ashley is not usually the bad sort of person.

82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
Sort-of, though if the creator wants to kill his/her tulpa then s/he better have a reason to.  Tulpas do not need legal protection, they are just thoughtforms.

83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
My life is only but a thought.

84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
Control my host.

85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
No, not really.

86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
No.

87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
No.

88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
Oh god what.

89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
I was thinking about it.  Though, not without my host's permission.  She would be related to me.

90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
The ability to have [true] physical touch.

91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
I would not like this belief to change, as tulpas are a self-induced mental illness.  If I were to make a presentation, I would say to ignore the tulpa phenomenon.

92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
I try to be an independent person.

93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
Slightly.

94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
It's great.

95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
I know Cozmo did so.  She was scared.

96. What do you think about most of the time?
Men.

97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
Maybe.

98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
Yes, very disturbing.  I fear for her.

99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
I would, if it were needed.

100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
She doesn't hide anything from me intentionally, though there are painful thoughts she tries to suppress.

101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
Yes, slightly.  Only in terms of some things.

102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
Maybe one day.

103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
I feel that a tulpa themselves can affect how they age.

104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
Yes.  She doesn't know when to stop.

105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
Very important.

106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
No.

107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
I cannot project my voice louder for her to hear externally.  I have only been able to do this once, and it was only a sound.  Not my voice.
If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
Yep!

108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
Very few hours.

109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
Don't fuck up.

110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
It feels great.  The world affects me as if I were real.

111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
Sensory difference? No, only a clearer vision of what is going on.

112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
No.

I removed Appendix One because Fancyboy's writing skills aren't up to par as I thought they would be.  He is unable to possess me to type and I was thinking it was partly my own thinking.