Cure anxiety with pretzels,
The answer was pretzels all along,

Game recommendation, any of the games you already own and haven’t played yet, stop buying new games you stupid ashole,
You are 100% right, also frick you,

I have a friend who is dyslexic and one time he said, i put the sexy into dyslexia and he waited for like thirty seconds and just went, frick,
Percy jackson,

One rational brain cell, there can be more than one task done during the day,
All other brain cells, you know what, now it’s zero,

10th grade our first assignment in our multimedia class was to photoshop ourselves in this picture and make it look authentic,
I decided,
Screw authentic i’m taking a selfie with my homie einstein,

How would you die in charlie and the chocolate factory,
Bullet to the head,
By an oompa loompa or mister wonka,
Charlie,

Finally worked up the courage to tell the starbucks girl she was beautiful and i only puked twice,
Did you puke on her,
That’s not important, what’s important is that she knows how i feel now,

That must be the uvula,
Oh, so it’s a girl house,
In the spanish version he just goes, oh she’s monstruating, and that just makes 200% better,

Is that a threat,
Pay attention to him,
This cable looks important, it would be unfortunate if something, terrible happened to it, pops out claws,

If you have an identity that falls anywhere on the ace or aro spectrum i hope you find twenty dollars on the ground today,
Thanks o p,
But doesn’t someone else have to lose $20 for that to happen,
Reblog to make an aphobe lose $20,

What if your friend had a freak accident where his thang got cut off and he need a dong transplant and he ask you for three inches,
How he gon ask me for all i got,

You’re a random nobody,
Me to a newborn baby,

A really buff roided up cow that flexes so hard a solid rop of string cheese comes out of it’s nipples instead of milk,
What the fresh frick crypt,

An error occurred while displaying the previous error,
Where is your god now,

If you don’t comment nice dong bro or great balls king or some other crap on your homies nudes what the frick are you even doing,

What’s it called when she’s telling you about her day and you can’t stop smiling,
Appendicitis,

Is it just me or am i the only one who sees things visually,
Just you, bud,
I’m so alone,

47 days til 2020,
Me, still processing my 2016’s problems,

This haunts me in my dreams,

Where my sleepy girls at,
In bed,

So i have both a brother and a sister and recently i came out as genderqueer and my mum’s reaction was basically aw yiss i collected the whole set,
The only correct reaction,
The whole set,

Just once i wanna put the blade of my sword under a pretty boy’s chin and tilt their head up so i can see both fear and arousal in their eyes is that too much to ask,

Boss, you killed a child,
Amazing, mission complete,
That right there is why you’re the best,

My favorite thing is how marco goes from wearing what looks like tights/stockings, to socks, to nothing, to pants in the span of this episode,
Marco is so trans even her pants are on h r t,

Scream could you imagine if birds had four legs,
Like this o m f g,
Tiny gryphon,

There was actually nothing beautiful or poetic about it,
You shattered my fricking heart,
There was actually nothing beautiful or poetic about it,
You shattered my fricking window,

P o v, you’re a frozen lasagna in the oven,

I’m not a party gay, i’m a couch gay, a homosectional you could say,
W t f a pornbot snatched me on my own post,
Lonely,

Tumblr,
Bueno dias, dong snatch,
W-what the frick does this mean,
Signal boost i need the world to know the tumblr app called me a dong snatch on december 7th, 2016,

So i was writing a small paper in microsoft word and the program suddenly crashed, i saved a couple minutes before, thank god, and i get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward,
Microsoft word is now playing the elder scrolls five, skyrim,
What the frick,
A whole new level of procrastination where your paper itself is procrastinating,

Free him,
Logged tha frick in,

Godzilla is inside each one of us,
Today’s affirmation,

Boy who knows too much about russia and world war 2,
Girl who knows too much about serial killers,
Ecouples on tumblr,

I can’t even cut a strip off with scissors w t f,

Central heterochromia is an eye condition where there are two colors in the same iris, the central, pupillary, zone of the iris is a different color than the mid-peripheral, ciliary, zone,

Where has my passion gone, i had it abundantly when i was a child, and i must have dropped it along the way, but i cannot figure where,
You’ve heard of panic at the disco, now get ready for,
Apathy in adolescence,

When my parents are gome, ay,
When my parents leave, gay,
These socks are amazing,

No, it can’t be,
Nooo,
This is the last straw,
I beg your pardon,
This is the last straw,
No, we have more, in the back,
I have been waiting all my life for this gift set,

She said do you love me, i said only partly, i only love my swamp and my donkey, i’m sorry,

Me, ugh i’m so tired,
Someone, maybe you should go to bed earlier,
Me,

Psychic, reads my mind,
My mind, continuous wii music,
Psychic, what the frick,

This was my chemistry professor,
Was,

Liz might be pregnant with a baby right now,
But i am pregnant with furiousity, okay,
And i am not taking an epidural,
Cause i wanna feel everything,
Me when i’m having an episode,

I, don’t know anyone named todd in real life, like i’ve never actually met a todd, where are they,

Date a runner,
I run a meme page date me,

We need to stop being so desperate about finding aliens, we need to play hard to get, pretend like we couldn’t care less, watch them come rushing into our atmosphere,

On the left is a roll of toilet paper,
On the right is my arm,
Do you see how pale i am,
I know what you are, you’re impossibly fast, and strong, your skin is pale white and ice cold, your eyes change color and you never eat or come out into the sun,

Here’s a picture of my cat no one asked for,
This is absolutely what i asked for, thank you,

And here we see the gamecube in its natural habitat, what a beautiful, majestic creature,

Reporter wears grape costume to defend boy suspended for banana suit,
Real recognizes real,

Succulents grown into the shape of a chameleon, montreal botanical garden,

Why did you get into comedy,
People were laughing at me anyway, so i thought frick it, i might as well start charging them,
Goals,

Girl buried with a crown of ceramic flowers, patras 300-400 b c, from the museum of patras,
Rip lana del rey,

Hashtag is over by the enter key don’t you worry your lil butt,
Wait,
What, what do american keyboards look like then,

Dear fricking tumblr,
This is a fricking bumblebee,

Tries to open bag of chips quietly at funeral,

Guess we found where all the dean’s from mystery spot went,
Well frick you very much, it’s the same dang outfit too,
He has like two outfits of course it’s the same outfit,

Movies based off books are bad but books based off movies are so much worse,

Hey guys,
Hey, could you delete this, don’t like seeing it on my dash or in general,

No need to feel afraid, ben is keeping an eye on you,
Thank you ben,