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Documentation of Zachary Petersen

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Apr 21st, 2019
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  1. The Zach Petersen is a wild creature, taking refuge in the Fornite Creative Islands, a mystical place. It is well known for it's ability to produce enough sweat to fill an Olympic-sized pool in just four and a half minutes.
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  3. Here, we see one gathering wood from fallen trees. The Zach Petersen harvests this wood in an effort to attract a potential mate through the process of Nineties. This mating ritual involves the male Zach Petersen using the wood to build a very large tower in a short amount of time. If the female Zach Petersen deems the speed of the Nineties to be too slow, she will deny the male. Locals on the island describe alpha male Zach Petersens as having "High Ground" over the other, lesser Zach Petersens.
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  5. Moving to another Zach Petersen, we can see this one in the process of Sweating. Only alpha Zach Petersens have been reported to sweat. This Zach Petersen is practicing their Nineties too much, while also mastering another technique: Scrimmaging.
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  7. The Scrimmage is a daunting task for any Zach Petersen, especially so for the betas. The Scrimmage involves the Zach Petersen using the wood to create a box around them, and then partially destroying a side of the box, and building another one adjacent to the previous box. Locals that see the Scrimmage report grunting and low moaning sounds coming from the Zach Petersens. Zach Petersens who realize they are being watched by locals let out a high gasp, and run away, continuing to Scrimmage.
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  9. Zach Petersens are lowering in population, however, and it can be attributed to one simple fact: they are Sweating too much. Although they are alphas in the populous, female Zach Petersens are not fond of the fowl, ripe smell that emits from the sweaty Zach Petersens. This has led to more reports of beta Zach Petersens finding mates, due to the pleasant, non-ripe smell they emit.
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  11. This has been a documentation of the Zach Petersen.
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