Clayra Beau did Facial Abuse - hated it

Then the shit started. I was headed to a shoot with Facial Abuse. I had done my research and looked at the site. It look pretty damn rough but I was reassured it would be fine. Because of traffic I got there a little late. After I got my makeup done and got dressed everything was put on hold while we waited for the camera guy to show up. In that time I signed my contract and took some photos on set. Just before we started shooting I had to ask the producer to show me the male talents STD tests before we started which was met with some sighing and the tests. Shady for sure. At that point I just wanted to get done. when the camera guy finally arrived at midnight we started shooting. My plan was to try and get through as much of the scene as possible before taking a break. The fewer breaks, the sooner I could get a burger and pass out. Once we started I didn't even make it for 2 minutes before I had to stop. I started on my knees with the male talent literally shoving their cocks down my throat until I gagged an couldn't breath.

I had to break because I was ready to pass out. when we started again it was no easier. I was still on my knees an the guys were so aggressive that at one point I literally had to stand up and push with all of my strength to get off of him. there is no point in having a safe word when you can't talk. I was clawing at their legs and slapping their thighs and they still wouldn't let up. So I took another breather and now I had 5 minutes of footage under my belt. After my break one of the guys picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and shoved me on him again. Then they pulled me off by my hair and smacked me in the face so hard it gave me a bloody nose. they didn't even notice that I was bleeding until they threw me onto the couch and started throat fucking me while my head hung off the couch. the guy jumped off and was like dude you have a bloody nose! That will look great on camera! I took another break and cleaned up my face and had some water. As I was sitting on the couch I noticed that I was having trouble seeing straight. One eye was looking one way and the other looked straight. So not cool. We started again with me leaning off the couch again and again I had to shove the guys off of me with all my might to be able to breath. I even threw myself on the floor to get away and they picked me back up, dropped me on the couch and kept going. finally I called for a break and took off for the dressing room. I was so done being abused.

I was literally shaking and my brain was no longer in the just get through the scene mode. It was very fight or flight and I could not go on anymore. After a quick call home and a cigarette, some people tried to comfort me and get me to finish the scene. I'm sorry but there was no amount anyone could pay me at this point to keep me going. After another minute to gather myself I walked back on set and said I was tapping out. They told me that they had about enough footage that they could sell it if they got the popshot so I sat on the floor and finished the scene. For all of that they paid me $200. I packed up my clothes and headed back to the city. I was so shook up I was crying on the way home too. I literally could not even swallow my soda. Those are the facts take them as you like. when I got back to NYC at 4am I was so exhausted I ate 4 Sun chips and fell asleep.

To be honest, I don't know if I can look at it without dredging up the fucked up feelings it gave me again. I'm all for some rough sex. I was happy with my scene for Public Disgrace, and I can't wait for Princess Donna to get back to the USA so I can get in on Bound Gang Bangs, but Facial Abuse was exactly what they say in the title: Abuse with a facial at the end. Frankly, I don't care how much you like rough sex, if you get off on FA scenes, I hope you realize you're getting off on one girl hating that she made the wrong choice, and a couple dudes having orgasms. For me, porn has ALWAYS been about people enjoying EACH OTHER, and even when it's just fantasy (yeah, some girls fake it) it is still a fantasy about PLEASURE. If you get off on beating people, you're a sick fuck. This isn't even a freedom of speech or "bad taste" issue. When people are getting hurt for real and NOT enjoying it at all, it isn't art or fantasy anymore, so fuck you for hiding your fucked up bullshit behind something so sacred as the First Amendment. It's not the same as Kink or typical BDSM sites. Or, in the words of D-FENS (from Falling Down), "We are not the same. I'm an American, you're a sick asshole".