Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere. CarlSmile
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta. pastaThat
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them. BrokeBack
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind its tearable. WTRuck
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen. YouDontSay
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. TwitchCop
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together. EleGiggle
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut. MingLee
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 🌽
Ill call you later. Dont call me later, call me Dad. sstPhone
Want to hear a joke about construction? Im still working on it. Jebaited
What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Nacho Cheese. StinkyCheese
Why couldnt the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired. ResidentSleeper
What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine. 🍷
I wouldnt buy anything with velcro. Its a total rip-off. SoonerLater
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention. CoolStoryBob
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there. PipeHype
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?" OSFrog
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you cant run. ♿
The rotation of earth really makes my day. EarthDay
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But thats just nuts.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Its fine, he woke up.
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
I dont play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Im just doing it for kicks.
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.