All the heckling has given me a great idea.

First, some background. The essential builds demo will be scientific, meaning replicable. In addition to the video recording, I'll keep a journal of each game. After clearing each floor, I'll make a chardump. Thereafter I can revisit the game at any point to test alternative build performance, branch progression, fsim results, etc. This will also render transparent the timing of relevant loot drops.

That still leaves the question of what to do with the boring, anticlimactic Orb run. What a disgusting waste of a character, to return him to the zone where a lvl 1 noob starter zone, presumably to tyrannize quailing sheeple with all the despotism of a genocidal maniac. Here's my answer:

Character pre-Teleports, grabs the Orb and runs for the stair. He arrives to find it... gone! Dismayed, he rushes to the second. Also gone. Third - missing! Even the hatch up has vanished. Panicked, he tries to destroy the Orb, but his strongest attacks won't make a scratch. He hurls the Orb away and battles endless waves of Pan Lords before finally succumbing. Turns survived after picking up the Orb is his final score, a good measure of character strength.

I'll randomly pick from some Orb monologue options for the different stages of doom. Some ideas:

Did you really think it would be that easy? Pandemonium is infinite, you fool!
Here's a riddle for you: How many Pan Lords can fit inside Zot:5? You won't like the answer...
Your god can't save you now. You've got one. How many do you think I have? Think they appreciate you killing all their servants? Hah!
Trapped like a mouse in a cage. No cheese for you, little rat!
You've accomplished nothing. I'm a dungeon core, you idiot. Anything you kill inside my domain, I can respawn. Why do you think all the demons in Hell agreed to work for me? True power is beyond your comprehension, mortal. Speaking of, it's time to give back the power you stole... Impress me, and maybe I'll let you back out to play.
You think the gods want a mortal walking around the surface with the power to bend souls and space to his will? Xom might, IF he could hold a thought for two seconds. Unfortunately, he's busy. You see, there's a gaggle of halflings high on tarantella juice currently having a bareknuckle brawl over a brass ring...
Ever wonder why nobody ever escapes with the Orb? Hmmm?
That's right, pick up the shiny. Adventurers... so predictable.

If this takes too long, he can Zig himself to death instead. But hopefully it works. Then the most scientific Crawl expert will be a guy who's never won the game! A troll worthy of TrCK.