Roast 1. I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one,
Roast 2. If you were going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty,
Roast 3. I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that,
Roast 4. If laughter is the best medicine your face must be curing the world,
Roast 5. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait,
Roast 6. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer,
Roast 7. I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass,
Roast 8. I've seen people like you before but I had to pay admission,
Roast 9. Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons protons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons,
Roast 10. You're so fat you could sell shade,
Roast 11. Your lips keep moving but all I hear is Blah blah blah,
Roast 12. Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick,
Roast 13. You'll never be the man your mother is,
Roast 14. I'm sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face,
Roast 15. Someday you'll go far... and I hope you stay there,
Roast 16. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother,
Roast 17. Stupidity's not a crime so you're free to go,
Roast 18. If I had a face like yours I'd sue my parents,
Roast 19. Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news - they found your head,
Roast 20. No those pants don't make you look fatter - how could they,
Roast 21. Save your breath - you'll need it to blow up your date,
Roast 22. You're not stupid you just have bad luck when thinking,
Roast 23. If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask your parents,
Roast 24. Please keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested,
Roast 25. The zoo called. They're wondering how you got out of your cage,
Roast 26. Whatever kind of look you were going for you missed,
Roast 27. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed,
Roast 28. Aww it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand,
Roast 29. I don't know what makes you so stupid but it really works,
Roast 30. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse,
Roast 31. Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing,
Roast 32. I thought of you today It reminded me to take the garbage out,
Roast 33. You're so ugly when you look in the mirror your reflection looks away,
Roast 34. I'm sorry I didn't get that - I don't speak idiot,
Roast 35. Quick - check your face! I just found your nose in my business,
Roast 36. It's better to let someone think you're stupid than open your mouth and prove it,
Roast 37. Hey your village called - they want their idiot back,
Roast 38. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons,
Roast 39. I've been called worse by better,
Roast 40. You're such a beautiful intelligent wonderful person. Oh I'm sorry I thought we were having a lying competition,
Roast 41. I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bull,
Roast 42. I'd slap you but I don't want to make your face look any better,
Roast 43. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people,
Roast 44. I just stepped in something that was smarter than you... and smelled better too,
Roast 45. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway,
Roast 46. Your so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you,
Roast 47. Could you take a couple steps back. I'm allergic to idiots,
Roast 48. Your so big a picture of you would fall off the wall,
Roast 49. You look like a before picture,
Roast 50. You know that feeling when you step in gum... that's how i feel looking at you,
Roast 51. You couldn't find logic if it hit you in the face,
Roast 52. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships,
Roast 53. Oh you’re talking to me. I thought you only talked behind my back,
Roast 54. Too bad you can’t count jumping to conclusions and running your mouth as exercise,
Roast 55. If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a dog,
Roast 56. My business is my business. Unless you’re a thong... get out of my ass,
Roast 56. We get straight to the point. We aren't Willy Wonka,
Roast 57. It’s a shame you can’t Photoshop your personality,
Roast 58. Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon,
Roast 59. When karma comes back to punch you in the face... I want to be there in case it needs help,
Roast 60. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore,
Roast 61. Maybe you should eat make-up so you’ll be pretty on the inside too,
Roast 62. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice,
Roast 63. I thought I had the flu... but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach,
Roast 64. You should try the condom challenge. If your gonna act like a dick then dress like one too,
Roast 65. I’m jealous of people who don’t know you,
Roast 66. You sound reasonable… Time to up my medication,
Roast 67. Please say anything. It’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand,
Roast 68. 90% of your ‘beauty’ could be removed with a Kleenex,
Roast 69. Your beauty is as fake as your personality. Out here with 3 pounds of makeup,
Roast 70. I suggest you do a little soul searching. You might just find one,
Roast 71. My hair straightener is hotter than you,
Roast 72. You should try this new brand of chap stick. The brand is Elmer's,
Roast 73. I'd smack you if it wasn't animal abuse,
Roast 74. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out,
Roast 75. If you’re offended by my opinion... you should hear the ones I keep to myself,
Roast 76. If you’re going to be a smart ass... first you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass,
Roast 77. I’m not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you,
Roast 78. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find your brain back there,
Roast 79. No no no. I am listening. It just takes me a minute to process that much stupidity,
Roast 80. Sorry... what language are you speaking. Sounds like Bullshit,
Roast 81. Everyone brings happiness to a room. I do when I enter... you do when you leave,
Roast 82. You’re the reason I prefer animals to people,
Roast 83. You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking,
Roast 84. Please... keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested,
Roast 85. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?,
Roast 86. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway,
Roast 87. Error... Too much stupidity,
Roast 88. Hey, you have something on your chin… no… the 3rd one down,
Roast 89. You’re impossible to underestimate,
Roast 90. You’re kinda like Rapunzel except instead of letting down your hair... you let down everyone in your life,
Roast 91. You look like your father would be disappointed in you if he stayed,
Roast 92. You look like you were bought on the clearance shelf,
Roast 93. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it,
Roast 94. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth,
Roast 95. People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore,
Roast 96. You’re so dense that light bends around you,
Roast 97. I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain anything to you,
Roast 98. You’re not as dumb as you look. That's saying something,
Roast 99. You’ve got a great body. Too bad there’s no workout routine for a face,
Roast 100. You’re about as important as a white crayon,
Roast 101. I fear no man. But your face, it scares me,