Dyke shit CYOA (MLP)

>You are Twilight Sparkle
>You are the ex-wielder of the Element of Magic, current Princess of Friendship, and semi-immortal Alicorn
>You are a national hero, a saviour of the free-world, and  a paragon of all the good that Equestrian’s are capable of
>You are a figure that destiny and fate weave around, and before your life is through, you shall accomplish deeds that echo throughout history
>You are, without a doubt, one of the most important figures in this age
>You are also planning to build the greatest harem the world’s ever seen
>”I’m sorry, what?”
>Spike snapped his gaze around, tearing himself from his comic, eyes widening
“I said,” you repeat proudly, “ today, I am going to build the greatest marem the world has ever see.”

>Silence dominates the breakfast table for a long few seconds, as Spike stares across the surface at you
>You smile innocently back
>The poor lad looks like he’s trying to figure out if someone spiked his orange juice
>”I-…Okay.” Spike shook his head, as if clearing cobwebs out of his ears. “Back up a second. Is a marem what I think it is?”
“If you’re thinking it’s group of young, lusty women that are all in a open sexual relationship with me, then it is exactly what you think it is.”
>”…That’s what I was afraid you would say.”
>Spike finally put the spoon full of cereal gemstones that had been hovering half-way up to his mouth down
>He then proceeded to shove both hands against his eyes, before transiting to his temples, rubbing in slow motions at both locations
>After a few seconds of this calming ritual, he turned back to face you
>”Alright…First, can I ask why?”
“Well, I was kind of inspired by a few old history texts I saw in the library at Celestia and Luna’s old castle. Though, I think they were more like dairies, or something.”
>You cast you mind back to the secret compartment that had been hidden behind several book cases and at least one safe
>You had felt a little worried at the text on the front of one of the books, ‘Celestia’s journal, open only at the pain of death,’ but the treasure trove of knowledge within had been more than worth it
“Did you know that, at one point in time, Celestia had a harem consisting of over twenty Equestrians, seven Griffins, and at least one dragon?!”
>”…No?”
“It’s fascinating stuff really. She went into great detail about show she would get the dragon to hold her up while the Griffins-”
>”Stop!” Spike held his hands up, as if he could physically block the mental images. “I don’t need to know what the closest person I have to a mother was doing before I was born.”
“Oh, fair enough.” You concede. “Though, I made copies of the pages if you ever-”
>”Twilight!”

“Alright, alright,” you wave a dismissive hand. “I’m just saying, if you ever need-”
>”I won’t, trust me.” Spike sighs. “Look, Twilight, I’m still kinda struggling to wrap my head around this. This doesn’t really seem like something you’d…want?”
“I’ll be brutally honest with you, Spike.” You lean back into your chair, casting a contemplative gaze to the ceiling, though your eyes didn’t see the crystal stonework. “Ever since transforming into an Alicorn, my libido has been skyrocketing. I think the meeting of all three races in a single person’s DNA causes some kind of chemical explosion, resulting in a pretty aggressive sex drive. It would explain everything I read in Celestia’s journal.”
>It probably didn’t help that, up until this point in your life, you had been more focused on studying and books than actually getting any…experience
>The unintentional sexual repression was likely causing the affects of the Alicorn transformation to run even worse than it would normally
>You would have brought this up, but Spike was already looking exceptionally uncomfortable already
>The baby dragon was perched at the edge of his chair, as if debating the idea of just bolting from the room
>”Oooo…kay.” Spike drummed his clawed fingers against the table. “That’s a little understandable, I guess? Why would you need a…’marem,’ though?”
“Well, that’s kind of just from a selfish part of me.”
>Now it was your turn to look uncomfortable, as the awkwardly shifted in your chair and raise a hand to scratch at the nape of your neck
“Celestia’s journal also detailed on how the exact laws and regulations surrounding an Alicorn’s harem. Most importantly, it gave away that the law had never exactly been abolished: after Luna’s banishment, Celestia simply got too busy. After a thousand years (and not a little bit of effort from the royal family PR group) the knowledge of the law faded from memory.”

>You lean forward in your chair, energy and enthusiasm returning to you
“But then I got to thinking, how amazing would it be to actually have a harem of my own? I would be the first Alicorn in hundreds of years to actually have their very own harem!”
>You pause
“And, I mean, all of the mind-blowing sex would also be pretty good, right?”
>Spike was silent once again
>He swayed slightly in his seat, as if the proclamation had made him physically unbalanced
>”…Alright,” Spike laid his hands flat on the table. “Let’s say I understand the situation – I don’t, but let’s say I do – how are even you planning to get this…thing together?”
“Why, I start with my friends, of course!”
>The ensuring silence was so absolute that a dropped pin would have caused an echo.
>Spike’s eye twitches, and his searching gaze is baffled beyond words
>After what felt like a small age, his jaw finally creaked open
>”….What?”
“It’s perfect, right?!”
>You leap to your feet, pacing back and forth as you get caught up in the sheer brilliance of the idea
“None of them are in a committed relationship, it would further my still on-going research into the magic of Friendship (now with benefits), and every single of them are super hot!”
> Spike was, in what was fast becoming a trend, driven to silence
>The baby dragon let out a squeak that could have once between the beginning of a word, had it not been consumed by the all encompassing bafflement that had struck the drake
>His eyes were darting back and forth, as if the one component to make sense of this whole farce would be simply sitting at the table, when he froze
>”Wait!”
>Spike suddenly leapt up, giving you a serious expression, indeed perhaps the most serious expression you’ve ever seen on the baby dragon’s face
>”You aren’t including Rarity in this…this…’marem’ are you!?”

“Haha, oh Spike.”
 >You cross the room, and lean down, pulling the surprised drake into a close embrace with one of your soft wings
“I know how much Rarity means to you, and I would never do anything to hurt you.”
>Spike allows for a small, hopeful smile to creep onto his face
>”Well, I guess it-“
“That being said, I’ve kind of been aching to tap that gorgeous marshmallow ever since we got into town. Soooooo, I guess my answer is actually yes.”
>Spike made face like someone had just flicked his scaly balls, and he isn’t even surprised
>”…Right.”
“Sorry, Spike, I know that this violates the ‘bro code,’ but this matter DOES technically fall under royal business.”
>You shrug helplessly
>To your credit, it’s never been established if adopted, cross species sisters fall under the bro code
>Were any kind of ‘sis-codes’ you had to follow? Maybe you could devote some energy to researching that, in-between laying all of your friends
>”….Right.”
>Spike allows for the hold to go one for a few more seconds before stepping back
>He hold his hands up, as if in surrender
>”You…just do whatever it is you’re going to do. I’m going back to my room, and I’m going to pretend that this whole conversation never took place.”
“Great, I’ll catch up with you at dinner!”
>You leap to your feet and march happily out of the room
>After a second, you stick your head back into the dinning room
“Coincidently, I’m going to need you to make dinner. Since, you know, I’ll be too busy trying to draft my friends into my harem.”
>Spike just gives you a long, silent, flat look
“…You might want to prepare a couple of extra places, since I’m not sure how many I’m coming back with. Hopefully a lot.”
>Still not a word from Spike
“…Just…thought I’d let you know.”
>Spike continues his silent stare until you finally leave the room for good
>You hear a sudden BANG as you depart, a sound distinctly reminiscent of a little scaly head impacting a table’s surface

>After a placid jaunt through the castle, you finally skip down to the entrance hall
>With the slightest mental push, your magic throws open the castle’s doors, displaying all of Ponyville before you
>It’s still early morning, with the sun only just beginning to peek over the horizon
>The weather looks positively great, with nary a cloud in the blue sky
>You take a deep, refreshing breath of cool morning air
>Today is going to be a good day
>A good day to build a harem, that is
>Of course, you reflect, you need to actually decide how your actually going to go about that task
>You think it would probably be best to ‘pursue’ each of your friends individually, rather than making some sweeping announcement to them all at once
>But that still left the question: who was the best to go for first?
>You’re confident that, before this task is done, you’ll have recruited them all into your mind-blowing, pelvis shattering, kinky beyond words harem
>Buuuuut, it was probably better to not get ahead of yourself
>Drawing a mental map of the town in your head, you eventually decide to…

>>>Head down the trail leading to the outskirts of town, towards [Sweet Apple Acres]
>>>Make your way into the heart of town, to [Sugar Cube Corner]
>>>Rev up that hot air balloon; time to hit up the [Skies Above Ponyville]
>>>Go to Ponyville’s (tiny) commercial district, where you can find [Carousel Boutique]
>>>Take backstreets until you hit the edge of the Everfree, towards [Fluttershy’s Cottage]
>>>Actually, wait, this a stupid idea. [Give up and go back into the castle]

>>> Go to Ponyville’s (tiny) commercial district, where you can find [Carousel Boutique]

>Keeping to the main thoroughfares, you nod to yourself as you make your way down the quaint streets of Ponyville
>Starting with Rarity was probably for the best
>Rarity was by far the most romantically passionate of your friends, and would likely be the most accepting of such a…drastic change to your relationship
>Not to mention she was probably also the most romantically experienced of your friends: you find many worse mentors in the way of the heart than her
>(That, and every “darling~” that passed from those full-bodied lips made you just a little weak in the knees)
>Glad that your mission was already off to such a hypothetically good start, you practically skip down the cobblestone pathway
>It was a pretty uneventful walk from your castle to Carousel Boutique: it was still early enough that many of the residents of the sleepy hamlet were only just cracking open their windows to greet the day
>You weren’t too worried about the early hour: Rarity was probably the only other member of your circle of friends that was more of a workaholic than you were
>It was not too long before you stood before Ponyville’s only high-end clothing store
>Exactly as you expected, the shop was already open
>Completely unexpectedly, however, was the sight of Sweetie Belle sitting in the lobby, sat cross-legged in the middle of the room
>It looked like she was…pressing lemons into a juicer?

>Sweetie gave you an enthusiastic wave as you stepped into the store, even as she pressed another lemon into the rattling machine
>If she noticed the spray of droplets that were hitting the otherwise immaculate carpet, she didn’t give any indication, though you were fairly certain Rarity wouldn’t have such as easy-going reaction…
“Hi Sweetie. You’re awake awful early, what are you up to?”
>”Just trying to figure out if a Cutie Mark for making orange juice has any similarities to a Cutie Mark for making lemonade.”
“Really? Any results?”
>Sweetie shrugged
>”I’ve made a lot of lemonade. You want some?”
>You accept the offered glass with a smile
>It was kind of heartening to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders were taking their new role as Ponyville’s, indeed maybe Equestria’s, first ‘Cutie Mark Consultants’ (yay!) so seriously
>”Hey, Twilight?”
>You looked down, meeting the two huge pools of pale-green innocence that were Sweetie Belle’s eyes
“Yes, Sweetie?” You raise your glass of lemonade up to your mouth, gratefully taking a long draught of the refreshing liquid
>”Is Rarity a ‘thot’?”
> You next action was caught somewhere between gasping, spitting, and coughing all at once
>You felt more than saw Sweetie’s surprised leap back as you doubled over, your body trying to expel the burning sensation of being choked on lemonade
>It took several seconds of what felt like your body trying to cough up your stomach, and Sweetie Belle’s panicky pats on your back, before you finally righted yourself
“S-Sweetie, where did you hear that word?”
>”Some…some of the girls at school said that Rarity was one, but they wouldn’t tell me what it meant.”
>Sweetie shrunk down into herself
>”Is it a bad word?”
>You take several seconds to consider that question, especially it’s relation to Rarity
“…Well, it’s somewhat accurate…”
>You shake yourself
“Don’t tell your sister I said that.”

>”Err, okay, but what does it mean?”
>You feel several fingers of dread creep along your spine
>You were not prepared to handle this conversation
“Wwwwwell…that is…I mean….”
>You take several uncertain steps back, before your eyes alight to the corridor leading deeper into the shop
>It was time to bail
“H-hey! I just remember that I had some REALLY important stuff to discuss with Rarity, do you mind if we catch back up with this later?”
>”I-“
“GreatThanksSeeYou!”
>Using a combination of your legs, wings and even a magical boost, you more or less flew from the shop’s main lobby
>As you materialized into the corridor that led to the shop’s back rooms, you take a second to try and gather yourself
>That had been a close call, but you couldn’t afford to let Sweetie Belle to throw you off your attempts to seduce her sexy thot of- I mean, wonderful beauty of a sister
>Taking several breathes, you press on
>It takes a little bit of wandering through the various dressing rooms and storage spaces, but you finally push you way into the back room that makes Rarity’s main creation space
>And judging by the small maelstrom of flying fabrics, scissors and threads that were zipping around, a creation was definitely in the process
>Rarity stood in the middle of the storm of flying material, more less dancing and pirouetting as her magic rapidly cut, layered and stitched several different articles of clothing all at the same time
>Her arms swung like a conductor at the head of an orchestra, passion and energy flowing from her every movement
>It would have been pretty graceful, if there hadn’t been quite as many bras and knickers flying about

>The fashionista, even through the immense concentration needed to utilise this much magic, soon spotted you trying to edge you way safely through the hail of flying dresses
>”Oh, darling~!”
>(You prayed that she would assume the small misstep you took at such a fierce ‘darling’ was merely due to a needle that had zooming past your head, and not…anything else)
“Hey, Rarity, you-holy Celest-”
>You only just managed to duck under an entire sewing machine that had been cart wheeling through the air
“…you look busy.”
>”Haha, well, when inspiration hits, one can’t sit idly! Just give me a moment,”
>Rarity weaves a hand, and a pair of scissors begin to cut with an intense amount of speed through a rick black fabric, moving with surprising accuracy
>You watch fascinated as several minutes of magical enhanced production eventually creates three full sets of…
>…
>…Holy sweet Celestia…
“L-l-l-lingerie?”
>You’ve voice is barely above a squeak
>Lace, garter belts, corsets, made in deep reds and creamy whites…this stuff couldn’t be anything but high quality lingerie
>”Hmmhmm, it’s a new line that I came up with over breakfast”
>Rarity spoke with the same kind of tone one used to discuss a particularly interesting part of the weather, blind to you open-mouthed shock
>”Of course, these are only prototypes. The real one will have to be made by hand, and will have to be made to measure for each client. I mean, I could hardly sell these ones, since they use my measurements, haha.”
>It take several seconds of silence before Rarity finally turns to you
>”…Twilight? Twilight, darling, are you alright?”
>You finally shake yourself out of your…less than wholesome thoughts
“I-guh, yea, you’re fine- I’M fine!”

>Rarity lets out a delightful titter that nearly causes you to melt into a puddle
>”Well, darling, what do I owe to the pleasure of this visit?”
>You struggle to reach for an excuse for a few beats before finally just settling on something that’s at least slightly close to the truth
“To be honest, I just thought we haven’t had a good chance to hang out for a while. Between your shop in Canterlot and my role as a princess, we hardly ever get to relax. Y-you know,”
>You cough, somewhat self consciously
“Just the two of us.”
>”Aww, Twilight.”
>Rarity’s face lit up with a smile that caused her heart rate to pick up several notches
>”You’re absolutely right, darling. It’s been far too long since we’ve had a chance to chat properly. Come, I get us some tea.”
>You protest slightly, saying that you don’t want to get in the way of her work, but she waves your concerns off, saying that the first customer likely wouldn’t be arriving for at least a few hours
>In all honesty, though you’re glad that she seems eager to spend some time with you
>After a brief walk back through the shop (stalled only slightly by a small freak out about a mysterious stain that had appeared in the carpet, with Sweetie Belle noticeably absent), you find yourself being seated in the Carousel Boutique’s small kitchen, with a small mug of cooling tea between your hands
>”So! Darling,”
>Rarity claps her hands together, giving you a wide smile
>”Whatever have you been up to? I hope the castle isn’t getting too crowded, what with Trixie stopping by to visit Starlight every other day.”
“Haha, no fear of that yet. It still feels like we’re struggling to fill up the rooms, let alone make things crowded. Trixie’s company is more than welcome.”
>(That being said, you kind of wish Trixie’s habit of ‘staying overnight’ didn’t result so much…’’noise’’ from Starlight’s room. An issue for another day.)

“I’m more interested in knowing how it’s going on your end. Is Canterlot Carousel still…?”
>”…Running to my standards of creativity and self-expression, rather than the soulless commercial husk it nearly became?”
“Yes, that.”
>”Well, you’ll be happy to know that things are running remarkably smoothly. We did have a small spot of trouble with a new rivalling business just a few streets down from our establishment, to the point where I had to go up there personally.”
>You look up at that, worry creasing your brow
“I hope it didn’t hurt your store too bad.”
>”Not at all. Indeed, that was the trouble.”
“…Wha?”
>”The girl running this new shop was being met more than slightly coldly by the Canterlot citizens, and it seemed like she would have to close up shop a mere few weeks after breaking her back just to get the place open.”
>Rarity sighed, looking into the steaming liquid of her tea
>”The poor thing nearly threw herself at my feet just because I walked through the door. When I saw that her designs were of quality, and that she merely lacked the knowledge of how to advertise herself, I simply couldn’t leave until she was armed with some ideas on how to save her store.”
>You blink, and several conflicting feelings passed through your head
>Eventually, you had to give these thoughts a voice
“I mean…I’m glad that you helped someone in need, but won’t that become an issue somewhere down the line?”
>”Believe me, I know what it might mean; Sassy said very much the same thing. But…”
>Rarity shrugged, looking oddly…at peace
>”She reminded me much of myself. It was never about running the biggest and most successful store in Canterlot, she simply wanted to be able to do what she loved. Even if I have to give up a little bit of business, I couldn’t deny the girl the same opportunity that I’ve been lucky enough to have.”

>”…Of course, I DID just happen to give her advice on a new dress range at the same time I was finishing up my new line of suits.”
>Rarity took a dainty, more than slightly satisfied sip of her tea
>”As it turns out, both of our businesses were able to work in perfect harmony.”
>You try for a few seconds to maintain dry look, before a snigger escapes your mouth.
“You’re something else, Rarity.”
>”Hehe, I try~”
>You pass a good chunk of time in easy conversation
>Rarity seems to be able to talk anything and everything with the self-assured elegance that you’re more than used to
>For your own part, you just try and avoid getting distracted by the subtle movements of Rarity’s lips
>After some time has passed, however, an opportunity wanders in
>”…And then I said to Sassy, if that idiot said my carmine hats were a shade of brown one more time, he could go shop elsewhere!”
>Rarity huffed, rolling her eyes
>”Honestly, I don’t even know what she sees in the oaf.”
“Haha, yea, you…really can’t account for taste.”
>You try to sound casual as you lift your tea up, but your mind is racing
>You’d been waiting for the topic of relationships to come up for a while
“Speaking, err, of which, how’s your love-life?”
>”Pfft, none existent.”
>Rarity groans, and her whole body deflates
>”Between the two stores, my own designs, and saving the world with you and the other girls, I’ve had hardly any time at all to get myself out there.”
“R-really?”
>Your hands are shaking slightly
“Soooo, no plans to go sweeping any princes or a Trenderhoof off their feet?”
>Rarity gagged at the names
>”Honestly, after those disasters, I think I’m off guys for good”
“Oh, that’s rough to hear…”
>A tiny Twilight was doing a tiny dance at the back of your mind

>”Yes, well, it doesn’t matter too much. With how hard it is to find a good partner these days, I don’t think I’d have much luck anyway.”
>You make an vague, noncommittal noise, and lift your tea up
>A sudden sensation on your free hand gives you pause, however
>You look down, and nearly have a heart attack
>With a small, teasing smile, Rarity was gently scratching her finger against your free hand
>”Heehee, I always thought, it would be much more convenient if I could just find a nice girl like you to settle down with, Twilight~”
>Outwardly, you remained perfectly still
>Inwardly, every single muscle in your body tensed up at once
>That, and you were fairly certain you had just suffered a minor heart-failure, but you weren’t going to worry about that for the second
>Alright, remain calm
>You can’t waste this opportunity
>She had said in a mostly flippant and joking manner, but the opening was there
>This chance has more or less fallen right into your lap, and if you play your cards right it won’t be the only thing
>You just need to decide how you want to approach this…

>>>Be [Smooth.] You’re no love expert, but you can still sweep Rarity off her feet
>>>Be [Romantic.] You don’t need to do any more than speak from the heart
>>>Be [Passionate.] You’ll show her that this ‘nice girl’ can certainly ‘settle down…’