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- So I will gladly address to the community that I'm upset and angry and
- that I've made a mistake or error in judgement if you will, last night
- here at the space. But I am in fact a human being and if you can't
- already tell, a pretty OPEN one at that. I feel the best approach to
- everything is honesty. With that being said, I am admitting that I
- made a mistake of getting plastered in the space last night. My
- roommate told me I came storming home and that I was screaming and
- crying in tears and yelling out the window and slamming doors and just
- all KINDS of drama. I'm really glad I did, because we both finally got
- to sit down and catch up with one another and we had an amazing
- conversation.
- From talking to her, I've sort of come to terms with the fact that I'm
- a mild or stage 1 alcoholic, with an emphasis on binge drinking. I've
- been drinking a lot lately, but I know I'm entirely capable of
- stopping myself, and I have gone days, weeks, months, and even years
- at a time without drinking. The very truth of the matter is I hate
- binge drinking and I hate hangovers, and I hate that I do it a lot.
- But what I hate more is stress and anxiety. Hence the viscous cycle. I
- show up to Noisebridge all the damn time because for once in my life
- I've found something I truly believe in and am willingly volunteering
- my time to get involved in. This place, even WITH ALLLLL of its drama
- is fucking awesome. And finally I feel like I've found a place where I
- can be surrounded by people I identify with: Geeks and nerds if you
- will. However nerds and geeks can be stressful to deal with at times,
- and even though I love being around geeks and nerds like myself, we
- often lack the ability to be socially mature with one another and we
- do "stupid things in rooms full of smart people" and therefore we have
- problems that we all need to get together and discuss IN PERSON, not
- through email, Noisebridge Disgust, and definitely not at a Tuesday
- night meeting.
- Speaking of which, I hate to digress and go off topic but one of my
- biggest problems that I seem to be having lately is with my
- relationship that I have with a person I literally see everyday in
- this space. We all know who I'm talking about here, and if not I'm
- sure someone can fill you in but I choose not to name names, because I
- feel it's the courteous and polite thing to do. But yeah, it sure
- fuckin feels like a relationship with all the bickering and arguing
- that we do with one another. Although I realize we both have very many
- things in common in the sense that like me at times he can be rather
- INTENSE, and right now I want to ask him to
- A. Please remove whatever video footage he has of me in his
- possession, and if he's already gone viral with it, I'm making a
- polite request that he please take it down. I've spoken with my mother
- about this, and even though she has my support, we both don't want
- this to turn into a legal battle.
- B. I am politely requesting that he takes his own advice that he gave
- to me and give me my personal space. As in addition to not talking to
- me, not doing things like taking my top Ramen and redistributing it to
- everyone else, or moving shit around without giving proper notice
- first PLEASE. If he values my friendship with him, I will gladly talk
- with him at a later date and time but currently it's beginning to be a
- little too much for me to deal with and I for one am not willing to
- cause more damage than I already have with our friendship. Because, I
- don't know.... our friendship matters to me?
- C. Please respect that I do love him a lot, and that I'm really sorry
- for all of the mean and horrible things I've said and done. I want to
- work out some sort of conflict resolution where we both can compromise
- and work things out for the both of us. I'm so fucking done with
- fighting, GOD!!!!
- Now that I'm trying to make amends, I would also like to apologize to
- the community for being a belligerent asshole last night. I'm not
- going to make any promises about leaving the hackerspace or quitting
- drinking outright. I don't need to have a Noisebridge intervention and
- I don't want to personally show up to tonight's meeting because there
- will be Noisetrolls present, gleefully poking my naked body with
- pitchforks sort of like the way they were doing to me last night.
- Middle finger to all of you for that btw. I personally felt like I was
- being treated like an abused dog for pooping on the floor and I'm very
- appalled by what I can vaguely remember last night. If it wasn't for
- someone I truly appreciate politely pulling me aside and asking me
- nicely to leave, I would have never left and I probably would have
- done something incredibly foolish and I would've lashed out in anger.
- SOUND FAMILIAR GUYS?!?! This whole Stanford Prison Experiment is going
- on right here at Noisebridge, and I got to play the part of the
- prisoner last night, while everyone else got to play guards.
- So without further ado, I'm going to actually come tonight to announce
- to everyone at the meeting that they can read this email, but
- otherwise I don't want to show up to my own witch trial which will
- ultimately result in me being burned as a heretic, and I'm going to
- actually spend my time um... "hacking" something or at least focus my
- time on doing something other than socializing. Like being productive,
- sort of like what I was doing last night while washing the dishes or
- learning how to design my new blog which is REALLLY funny btw. It's
- going to be promoted as soon as you google "Noisebridge" and find it
- yourself. Then I'm going to talk to that one other really awesome
- chick and have her teach me how to create my own clothes. YAYYYYYY!
- That's all,
- Justin Patrick Doer-r
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