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- 0
- 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:15,180
- ♪ This is a man's world
- 2
- 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,353
- ♪ But it wouldn't be nothing
- 3
- 00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,856
- ♪ Nothing
- 4
- 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:27,860
- ♪ Without a woman or a girl
- 5
- 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:31,405
- CEDRIC: From the beginning of mankind
- 6
- 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:32,906
- and throughout the world's history,
- 7
- 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,908
- there have been clearly defined
- rituals of manhood.
- 8
- 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,077
- See, these rituals were definitive
- 9
- 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,996
- in determining the exact moment
- 10
- 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,706
- when a boy became a man.
- 11
- 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,082
- (YELLING) (ROARS)
- 12
- 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:45,711
- For example,
- 13
- 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,213
- there's the moment when a
- boy joins the other men
- 14
- 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,049
- in his first engagement in battle.
- 15
- 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,177
- Did you know that they used to have public
- circumcisions in front of the village?
- 16
- 00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,303
- (SCREAMS)
- 17
- 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,888
- Thank God mine didn't go public.
- 18
- 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,932
- And the most significant
- moment of all, marriage.
- 19
- 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,309
- That's right, I said it.
- 20
- 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,769
- In fact, marriage used to be
- 21
- 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,729
- the ultimate goal of boys and men.
- 22
- 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,064
- Because in the old days,
- 23
- 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,107
- it was the only way a guy could get
- 24
- 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,817
- what he really wanted from a girl.
- 25
- 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:09,902
- (WOMAN MOANING)
- 26
- 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,029
- See now today? Woo!
- 27
- 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,405
- Things have changed, people.
- 28
- 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,823
- I mean, men, we don't have to work
- 29
- 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,492
- as hard to get what we want.
- 30
- 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:17,785
- We got the Internet, for God's sake.
- 31
- 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,745
- I can be whatever I want on the Internet.
- 32
- 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,790
- Today, men have the home court advantage,
- 33
- 00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:23,916
- which has left you ladies
- 34
- 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,209
- with several different types of men.
- 35
- 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:26,794
- I mean, I don't even know where to start.
- 36
- 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:27,920
- You got the Player.
- 37
- 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,004
- ♪ This is a man's world
- 38
- 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,299
- Hi, Zekey.
- 39
- 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:33,383
- You sexted?
- 40
- 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,428
- Those aren't mine, asshole.
- 41
- 00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:37,554
- You sure that's not...
- 42
- 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,349
- CEDRIC: Wait a minute, I'm not
- done. You got the Mama's Boy.
- 43
- 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,101
- Happy, Valentine's Day, sweetie.
- 44
- 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,020
- And you, too, Mom.
- 45
- 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,146
- (LAUGHS)
- 46
- 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,815
- Thank you, sweetie.
- 47
- 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,025
- You know, I think I'm just
- gonna leave you two alone.
- 48
- 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,401
- Wait, babe, where are you going?
- 49
- 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,987
- It's okay, Michael. I don't
- want to intrude.
- 50
- 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:55,906
- I'll call you? Or not.
- 51
- 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:57,991
- Poor little thing.
- 52
- 00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,827
- She's blonde.
- 53
- 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,079
- CEDRIC: You got the Dreamer.
- The Dreamer's funny.
- 54
- 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,163
- ♪ This is a man's world ♪
- 55
- 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,623
- So I quit my job.
- 56
- 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,208
- Yeah,
- 57
- 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,668
- I wanna be a chef.
- 58
- 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,378
- You wanted to be a paramedic,
- 59
- 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,463
- you wanted to be a PR agent, and now
- 60
- 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,881
- you wanna be a chef?
- 61
- 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,758
- Baby, it's my dream.
- 62
- 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,343
- Really, Dominic?
- 63
- 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:18,053
- Because I wanted to be a ballerina
- 64
- 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,805
- and Janet Jackson.
- 65
- 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,181
- When I was seven.
- 66
- 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,766
- Do you know what I wanna be now?
- 67
- 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:23,892
- No.
- 68
- 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,435
- Your ex.
- 69
- 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:27,938
- CEDRIC: And last but not least,
- 70
- 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,065
- you got the Non-Committer. Pass the ball!
- 71
- 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,317
- This one is from me.
- 72
- 00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:33,443
- All right, baby.
- 73
- 00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,905
- All right! Now it's a party. Drum
- roll. MICHAEL: Okay, big guy.
- 74
- 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,285
- Oh, my God. I will, I will, I will, yes!
- 75
- 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:42,452
- You will what?
- 76
- 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,039
- (STRAINED) Oh.
- 77
- 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,211
- Earrings
- 78
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- that I will always treasure.
- 79
- 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:55,090
- You the man, boy.
- 80
- 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,175
- Told you.
- 81
- 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,301
- Yo! You need a beer?
- 82
- 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:58,802
- CEDRIC: Now I'm not saying
- 83
- 00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,970
- there aren't a lot of good men out there.
- 84
- 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,139
- Take, for instance, the
- Happily Married Man.
- 85
- 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,141
- Which brings us to my personal favorite,
- 86
- 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,393
- you got the Happier Divorced Guy.
- 87
- 00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:07,477
- Look at that smile.
- 88
- 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:08,812
- What I'm saying is,
- 89
- 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,564
- the balance of power has shifted.
- 90
- 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,399
- But, Zeke, those aren't my
- only issues with Gail,
- 91
- 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,735
- it's the nagging, it's the yelling,
- 92
- 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,069
- it's the crazy mood swings.
- 93
- 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:17,654
- I mean, you're not gonna talk
- to me no kind of way.
- 94
- 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:18,822
- I'm a grown-ass man.
- 95
- 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,032
- Grown-ass man.
- 96
- 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,158
- You know me, Dom, I'm grown.
- 97
- 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,284
- Them weren't the only problems
- 98
- 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,660
- you was having with Gail, though, right?
- 99
- 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,120
- Yo, Zeke, do not get that man started.
- 100
- 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,580
- I'm asking a question!
- 101
- 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:27,956
- No, let's get me started up.
- 102
- 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,333
- Turn the key! Say it, get it out!
- 103
- 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,501
- Rumor has it that Gail
- was whooping that ass.
- 104
- 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,628
- What's the first word you said?
- 105
- 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,837
- I think it was "whooping that ass."
- 106
- 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,380
- No, first word you said was "rumor."
- 107
- 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,716
- 'Cause that's what it was,
- Zeke. It's a rumor.
- 108
- 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,259
- Ced, you walked in the gym the other day
- 109
- 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,011
- with a little nugget in
- the side of your eye.
- 110
- 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,512
- I fell down the steps, Mike! Okay?
- 111
- 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,056
- I got steps, my steps got a slope in them.
- 112
- 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,766
- You ever walked down a slope
- with dress shoes on?
- 113
- 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,352
- Wait, so, she kicked your ass,
- then you fell down the steps?
- 114
- 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:49,561
- See, now it makes perfect sense.
- 115
- 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:50,687
- CEDRIC: That's real funny.
- 116
- 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,023
- Look at the white man trying to make
- light of the relationship issues
- 117
- 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,858
- of a brother. It's not like that.
- 118
- 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,276
- No, it is like that. Let me
- tell you something, J.
- 119
- 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,736
- Black people marched and died
- 120
- 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,613
- for the right to fight and treat
- each other like shit.
- 121
- 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:00,864
- Oh, my God. You did not march,
- 122
- 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,532
- you do not have that right.
- Neither do you, Bennett.
- 123
- 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:03,700
- I saw it on TV.
- 124
- 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,202
- They show those marches a lot in February.
- 125
- 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,245
- Stop.
- 126
- 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,205
- Your wife kicked your ass. It's
- really not that big of a deal.
- 127
- 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,457
- There's worse things. It's
- my ex-wife. Okay?
- 128
- 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:13,168
- Y'all need to get in the habit
- of saying that. Ex-wife.
- 129
- 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,378
- (ALL LAUGHING) You know,
- it really kills me
- 130
- 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,462
- how y'all like to laugh at my pain.
- 131
- 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,005
- I can't wait till y'all experience
- 132
- 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,423
- the shit I'm experiencing.
- 133
- 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,176
- I say Rush Street, first round on Bennett.
- 134
- 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,261
- Uh...
- 135
- 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,929
- I'm supposed to have dinner
- with Kristen tonight.
- 136
- 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,768
- She'll understand, she's cool.
- I'll send her a text.
- 137
- 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,561
- VICKI: Welcome back, everybody.
- 138
- 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,563
- We are still here
- 139
- 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,233
- with best-selling author Steve Harvey.
- 140
- 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,527
- Well, what I try to get
- women to understand
- 141
- 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,696
- is that times have changed,
- 142
- 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,531
- but your playbook hasn't.
- 143
- 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,199
- I've gotten thousands of letters
- 144
- 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,575
- from all kinds of women
- 145
- 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,161
- who can't seem to find a man, keep a man
- 146
- 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,913
- or get what they want from their man.
- 147
- 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,708
- Until you understand how a man loves,
- 148
- 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,294
- how a man operates, how he thinks,
- 149
- 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:58,505
- until you get into the mindset of a man,
- 150
- 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,425
- you will never win with
- us in the game of love.
- 151
- 00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,260
- VICKI: Well, we certainly
- want to win with you
- 152
- 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,386
- in the game of love, Steve.
- 153
- 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,722
- We have a question in the audience.
- 154
- 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:07,848
- WOMAN: Hi, Steve.
- 155
- 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:10,058
- I've been living with my
- boyfriend for five years
- 156
- 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,186
- and he says that he loves me
- and he's fully committed.
- 157
- 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:14,438
- I guess what I want to know
- 158
- 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,023
- is how come he hasn't popped the question?
- 159
- 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,482
- He hasn't popped the question
- 160
- 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,568
- because you haven't required him to.
- 161
- 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,528
- VICKI: We'll be right back.
- 162
- 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,073
- (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) (PEOPLE
- TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
- 163
- 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,325
- MAN: Can I get two beers? Hey!
- 164
- 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,203
- I'm Cedric. Cedric, Cedric.
- 165
- 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,080
- Yeah, I'm not married.
- 166
- 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,165
- That's why I'm not wearing a ring.
- 167
- 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:34,624
- I'm sorry,
- 168
- 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:35,876
- but Jesus has my heart.
- 169
- 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,128
- Yeah, no, no, no, I get that.
- 170
- 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:39,421
- I love Jesus, too.
- 171
- 00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,131
- I talked to him today,
- 172
- 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,967
- I was like, "Jesus," I
- said, "I need a girl!"
- 173
- 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,344
- And I get here and I see you,
- 174
- 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,678
- so I was like, "Thank you."
- 175
- 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,638
- You see Ced over there trying
- to pull that PYT?
- 176
- 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,725
- MICHAEL: Oh, she bad as hell.
- 177
- 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:52,809
- See, thinking like that,
- 178
- 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,019
- you lose the game before you even step in.
- 179
- 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,270
- What are you talking about?
- 180
- 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,647
- I'ma go on and leave.
- 181
- 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,232
- Hey.
- 182
- 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,319
- She's crazy. And I don't like her knees.
- 183
- 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,696
- Excuse me, Miss, I noticed
- that you were...
- 184
- 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,698
- (GROANS) Honestly, I couldn't care less
- 185
- 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,241
- about whatever it is you have to say.
- 186
- 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,368
- And I can appreciate that.
- 187
- 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,994
- I just know that I've seen you here before
- 188
- 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,371
- and you're usually so stunning...
- 189
- 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,164
- And you'll always have those memories.
- 190
- 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,833
- In fact, why don't you walk
- away and pretend this...
- 191
- 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,502
- I don't know what I did to
- make you so defensive.
- 192
- 00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,337
- All I'm saying is, whatever it is,
- 193
- 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,880
- it's no reason to let yourself
- go, that's it.
- 194
- 00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:23,548
- Let myself go?
- 195
- 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,758
- I didn't mean any disrespect...
- 196
- 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,176
- Let me tell your tired ass something.
- 197
- 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,260
- Something's changed.
- 198
- 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,762
- Usually, there's an aura,
- 199
- 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,430
- there's a glint about you
- that I'm not seeing.
- 200
- 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,682
- And I don't know if it's a relationship
- 201
- 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,519
- or if it's job related, it's just...
- 202
- 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,812
- Is that it?
- 203
- 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,398
- It's work related?
- 204
- 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,485
- Well, to be honest,
- 205
- 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,030
- I was laid off from my job
- about two months ago.
- 206
- 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,115
- This damn economy.
- 207
- 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,908
- How'd it go? CEDRIC: Not good, man.
- 208
- 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,119
- Yo, I literally have nothing
- to say anymore.
- 209
- 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,328
- I don't know what's going on.
- 210
- 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,913
- And my breath ain't right. (GROANS)
- 211
- 00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,540
- Drink a beer. You smell it?
- 212
- 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:57,999
- You can't let that steal your smile,
- 213
- 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,376
- 'cause that smile that I'm talking about,
- 214
- 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,461
- that's gonna get you that
- next CEO gig, you get it?
- 215
- 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,712
- See now? See? You're smiling.
- 216
- 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,589
- Now I'm smiling.
- 217
- 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:05,757
- I'ma walk away from here like a fairy now,
- 218
- 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:06,925
- 'cause I'm all happy.
- 219
- 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,802
- A fairy? (LAUGHS) Yeah.
- 220
- 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,470
- Have a good evening.
- 221
- 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:11,721
- Thank you.
- 222
- 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:14,933
- Got shot down.
- 223
- 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,017
- (MOUTHING) Two, one...
- 224
- 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,102
- Wait.
- 225
- 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,983
- She calling him back for another
- episode of crazy.
- 226
- 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,401
- Here.
- 227
- 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,862
- She probably shot him down. Twice.
- 228
- 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,655
- Crazy, right? Man.
- 229
- 00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:31,116
- Talking about Jesus and she don't
- speak English and stuff, right?
- 230
- 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,284
- Luck of mine.
- 231
- 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,452
- She actually gave me her damn number.
- 232
- 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,536
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- 233
- 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,580
- The Dark Knight strikes again.
- 234
- 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:37,831
- How great is Kristen, man?
- 235
- 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:38,915
- Nice.
- 236
- 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,083
- She's a phenomenal girl.
- 237
- 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,668
- I just don't understand why
- she's with this dude.
- 238
- 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,503
- CEDRIC: Nobody does. How
- good is your credit?
- 239
- 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,839
- It's up. Low 400s, 430?
- 240
- 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,966
- Goddamn! A 430?
- 241
- 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,010
- You can't even get a Discover Card!
- 242
- 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,636
- Don't white people start off
- with a 500 credit score?
- 243
- 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:54,181
- Five-fifty, 475 if you're a mulatto.
- 244
- 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,599
- GAIL: Cedric!
- 245
- 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:56,933
- Yes, Gail.
- 246
- 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,602
- Gail, listen to what I'm trying to say!
- 247
- 00:07:58,686 --> 00:07:59,769
- Gail, I don't care!
- 248
- 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,480
- I don't care what you take out the garage!
- 249
- 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,898
- Gail, you can take the whole damn garage.
- 250
- 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,649
- Let me tell you something.
- Here's what I want,
- 251
- 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,151
- and this is what's... (PHONE BEEPS) Hello?
- 252
- 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,360
- Gail?
- 253
- 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,570
- Y'all, I swear...
- 254
- 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,447
- She didn't let me finish my sentence.
- I don't like that.
- 255
- 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,657
- Hey, Ced. When's the divorce
- gonna be final?
- 256
- 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,242
- Goodness, if I had to guess,
- 257
- 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,203
- I'd say like four weeks, 367 hours,
- 258
- 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,787
- 22 minutes, 32 seconds.
- 259
- 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:18,914
- That's just a guess.
- 260
- 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,624
- Who's counting? ZEKE: But you
- know what we should do?
- 261
- 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,876
- We should take Cedric out for
- celebration game night.
- 262
- 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,336
- I can't do Sunday. This Sunday,
- 263
- 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,421
- dinner with my ma. Little
- casserole action...
- 264
- 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,547
- JEREMY: That's every Sunday.
- 265
- 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:31,009
- I can't do Sunday either. Jonah's
- got a violin recital.
- 266
- 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,470
- My God, dude, your kid has
- way too many recitals.
- 267
- 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,056
- Wait a minute, hold on, wait.
- Your son play the violin?
- 268
- 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,933
- And the cello. Yo, he's gay.
- 269
- 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,017
- Playing the violin doesn't make him gay.
- 270
- 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,185
- Yes, it does.
- 271
- 00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,353
- Name me one gay violinist.
- 272
- 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,479
- Your son.
- 273
- 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,647
- Listen to this.
- 274
- 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,024
- Cedric is about to be released from
- the shackles of Gail-Hell.
- 275
- 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,109
- Forever. And we're about
- to miss it for what?
- 276
- 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,486
- Another Jonah recital.
- 277
- 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,613
- By the way, he sucks. BENNETT: Really?
- 278
- 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,448
- I'd expect that from them, not you.
- 279
- 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,741
- What do you mean, "them"?
- 280
- 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:56,034
- Like what, like black people or what?
- 281
- 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,369
- Absolutely.
- 282
- 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,412
- I don't get mad because he's
- bold enough to say it.
- 283
- 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,331
- Seriously, you have ears. Kid's tone-deaf.
- 284
- 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,875
- This is his big solo. They're
- playing the Gap Band.
- 285
- 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,335
- You know, Dropped a Bomb on Me,
- 286
- 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,128
- and he's got the last...
- (MIMICS PLAYING) "Baby!"
- 287
- 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,839
- Look, I got a great idea. I'll
- have my mom cook for us.
- 288
- 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,758
- She'll make some chocolate chip
- cookies, a big casserole.
- 289
- 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:12,926
- We'll do it the right way.
- 290
- 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,970
- Mike, I almost punched you in
- your damn face just now, man.
- 291
- 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,096
- And I was gonna add a head butt.
- 292
- 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,597
- I'm not going over your mom house
- 293
- 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,974
- to celebrate my damn divorce party!
- 294
- 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,141
- We gotta eat. We can start there...
- 295
- 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,393
- I don't wanna eat with your mom!
- 296
- 00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:22,769
- I ain't going over his mom house.
- 297
- 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,563
- Look, she just got the new Tyler Perry,
- 298
- 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,189
- For Colored Girls on Blu-ray.
- 299
- 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,774
- We'll just have a nice
- little fellas night,
- 300
- 00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:28,984
- a chill-out night.
- 301
- 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,152
- Let me tell you what happens, Janet
- Jackson gets AIDS at the end
- 302
- 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,697
- and some crazy guy throws his kids
- out the window. You good?
- 303
- 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,448
- Can we party now? Let's do it! I hate you.
- 304
- 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,576
- All right, put 'em up! Yes, sir.
- 305
- 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,912
- Fine, I'm in, man.
- 306
- 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,416
- Life is great, fellas.
- May it never change.
- 307
- 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,501
- CEDRIC: None of us could have known
- 308
- 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,919
- that the first bomb had been dropped.
- 309
- 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,421
- The war had been declared.
- 310
- 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,047
- And hard-worn secrets
- 311
- 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,966
- had now fallen into the
- hands of the enemy.
- 312
- 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,010
- We had been betrayed by one of our own.
- 313
- 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,219
- A man.
- 314
- 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,971
- I'm talking about a man with a penis.
- 315
- 00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,723
- Someone who should know better.
- 316
- 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,642
- And because of those actions,
- a blitz was now on its way,
- 317
- 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:05,228
- that would affect my entire
- Band of Brothers.
- 318
- 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,522
- VICKI: We have another question
- in the audience, Steve.
- 319
- 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,815
- Steve, I keep hooking up with guys
- 320
- 00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,025
- who don't want a relationship.
- 321
- 00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,443
- Why don't you stop hooking up?
- 322
- 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,652
- Did you hear that?
- 323
- 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:16,406
- Listen, men respect women
- who have standards.
- 324
- 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,699
- Just get some.
- 325
- 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,534
- Exactly.
- 326
- 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,745
- WOMAN 2: Steve, I'm a partner
- in my law firm,
- 327
- 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:22,996
- I own my own home,
- 328
- 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,040
- but I've been single for three years.
- 329
- 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,834
- Why can't I seem to find a man
- to live up to my standards?
- 330
- 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,961
- Maybe you need to adjust
- them a little bit.
- 331
- 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,963
- Bullshit. VICKI: Are you saying
- that we should settle?
- 332
- 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,633
- Look, you make six figures.
- Does he have to?
- 333
- 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,717
- Yes.
- 334
- 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,136
- You own your own home. Does he have to?
- 335
- 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,304
- Yes and yes.
- 336
- 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,014
- VICKI: We have another question
- here in the audience.
- 337
- 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,642
- Hi, Steve. I'm currently dating
- 338
- 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:44,934
- and I just wanna know
- 339
- 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,436
- when is the right time for me
- 340
- 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,064
- to introduce my man to my kid? Oh!
- 341
- 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,775
- I know that single women
- don't want to have
- 342
- 00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,818
- a parade of men coming through the house.
- 343
- 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,070
- Exactly! I get that.
- 344
- 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,197
- But if a guy is a serious contender...
- What up, Momma?
- 345
- 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,531
- Excuse you?
- 346
- 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,492
- ...bring him in as soon as
- possible. Morning, Mom.
- 347
- 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,494
- Because if you invest six months in a man
- 348
- 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,329
- and then you introduce him to the kids
- 349
- 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,916
- and he's not feeling the
- kids, or vice versa,
- 350
- 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,710
- then guess what? You just
- wasted six months.
- 351
- 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,754
- That's true. Did that.
- 352
- 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:23,306
- Alex?
- 353
- 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:27,686
- Alex!
- 354
- 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,145
- Wake up!
- 355
- 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,318
- Look, babe, I got us two
- double-shot lattes.
- 356
- 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,612
- Thanks, baby. Here.
- 357
- 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,615
- Figured we needed some caffeine
- after last night.
- 358
- 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,576
- It was amazing. Mmm-hmm.
- 359
- 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,039
- I'm gonna go and freshen up.
- 360
- 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,668
- So, I'll be right back.
- 361
- 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,545
- I'll be right here.
- 362
- 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,424
- Don't move.
- 363
- 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,633
- Don't worry, I won't.
- 364
- 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,345
- So, babe, I was thinking
- 365
- 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,514
- maybe we could go on our first real date.
- 366
- 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,391
- We could go see a movie? Yeah, babe.
- 367
- 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,517
- We should do that.
- 368
- 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:10,186
- Things between us are gonna start
- getting real serious, baby.
- 369
- 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,107
- MYA: Okay, so I was thinking maybe we could
- go see the new Tyler Perry movie.
- 370
- 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,275
- You know, the one where the guy's,
- 371
- 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,484
- like, mean to his girlfriend,
- 372
- 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,653
- and a nice guy comes and rescues her
- 373
- 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,864
- and at the end, they both find Jesus.
- 374
- 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,368
- Alex? So, yes to the Tyler Perry movie?
- 375
- 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,620
- Alex!
- 376
- 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,498
- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
- 377
- 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:34,627
- "Michelle"?
- 378
- 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,048
- It's Mya, asshole!
- 379
- 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:40,967
- Mya.
- 380
- 00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,219
- (SIGHS)
- 381
- 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,972
- Did this nigga take my coffee?
- 382
- 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,724
- CEDRIC: It was like some long-hidden truth
- 383
- 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,058
- had finally been released
- 384
- 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,269
- in hardcover and paperback.
- 385
- 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,188
- For my book club.
- 386
- 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,898
- For me! For my mom!
- 387
- 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,650
- For the first time in their
- lives, women all over
- 388
- 00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:00,612
- stopped turning to other women
- for relationship advice.
- 389
- 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,821
- Really?
- 390
- 00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,072
- I got one too many.
- 391
- 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,240
- Thank you.
- 392
- 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,494
- Instead, they went straight
- to a man, Steve Harvey.
- 393
- 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,996
- He had made his name as a comedian,
- 394
- 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,372
- but this shit here? This wasn't funny.
- 395
- 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,124
- And because of this,
- 396
- 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,667
- things would never be the same.
- 397
- 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,691
- Excuse me?
- 398
- 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,443
- Yeah, hi.
- 399
- 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,320
- Hey, did you by any chance
- go to Fairfax High?
- 400
- 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:43,780
- Yes.
- 401
- 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,406
- I went there as well. Michael Hanover.
- 402
- 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,408
- Candace Hall. Yeah, I remember.
- 403
- 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,035
- I had classes with your sister Lisa.
- 404
- 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,412
- CASHIER: Next in line. I'm sorry,
- I don't recognize you.
- 405
- 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,957
- Well, yeah, I was, like, five feet tall,
- 406
- 00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,291
- 99 pounds when we graduated.
- 407
- 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,627
- I had the glasses and the buck teeth.
- 408
- 00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,671
- Oh. (LAUGHS)
- 409
- 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,339
- That look familiar, maybe down here?
- 410
- 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,841
- Yeah, you do.
- 411
- 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,552
- I don't know if that's a good
- thing or a bad thing.
- 412
- 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:06,886
- You dissing me already?
- 413
- 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,055
- Well, you've grown up. Quite nicely.
- 414
- 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,558
- And you haven't changed a
- bit. You look amazing.
- 415
- 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:15,395
- Well, you need to put those
- glasses back on, obviously.
- 416
- 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,856
- No, actually, I'm nearsighted.
- 417
- 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,900
- Besides, I mean, how could
- I forget my teenage crush?
- 418
- 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,945
- I used to look at you
- walk down the hallway
- 419
- 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,823
- and just fall into your smile.
- 420
- 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:30,827
- I'm rambling, I do that when
- I get nervous. Mmm.
- 421
- 00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,495
- CASHIER: Next in line.
- 422
- 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,206
- Well, it was nice meeting,
- I mean, seeing you.
- 423
- 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,334
- It's nice finally being seen.
- 424
- 00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:39,919
- (CLEARS THROAT) CASHIER:
- Next in line, please.
- 425
- 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,303
- Candace?
- 426
- 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,347
- Could we go grab a cup of
- coffee or something?
- 427
- 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,099
- We could maybe catch up on
- old times we never had.
- 428
- 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,352
- I can't, actually. I have to pick up my...
- 429
- 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,770
- Husband? No...
- 430
- 00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,689
- You got a boyfriend? No, I have a son.
- 431
- 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,025
- Oh...
- 432
- 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,364
- Well, how about dinner?
- 433
- 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,329
- Yeah.
- 434
- 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,584
- KRISTEN: I finally get it. GINA: Get what?
- 435
- 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,503
- Getting Jeremy to propose is like getting
- Jeremy to paint the kitchen
- 436
- 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,963
- or put the toilet seat down.
- 437
- 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:27,508
- It's not gonna happen until
- I require him to.
- 438
- 00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,344
- And I haven't required him
- to do a damn thing.
- 439
- 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,428
- Hmm.
- 440
- 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,472
- You know we still go halfsies
- on everything?
- 441
- 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,890
- I thought that was your idea.
- 442
- 00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,141
- Yeah, in college.
- 443
- 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,310
- He was work study and
- I felt sorry for him.
- 444
- 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,562
- And I am still paying for it, to this day.
- 445
- 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,105
- Hey, I'm Kristen.
- 446
- 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,399
- Hi, welcome. Welcome, please sign in.
- 447
- 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,443
- Congratulations.
- 448
- 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,028
- NIJA: Thank you. Six months.
- 449
- 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,655
- Yeah, and we can't wait.
- 450
- 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,531
- Thank you.
- 451
- 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,867
- Here, come on.
- 452
- 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,077
- Watch your step.
- 453
- 00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,578
- See, that is a man with a plan.
- 454
- 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,914
- He knows what he wants,
- he knows what he has.
- 455
- 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,167
- I sell beautiful homes for a living
- 456
- 00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,169
- and we live in a frat house for the boys.
- 457
- 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,588
- Last Valentine's Day, the boys were there.
- 458
- 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:06,881
- So, you're saying, you're...
- 459
- 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,675
- My God, I'm one of the boys,
- 460
- 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,760
- except I have a vagina!
- 461
- 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,346
- I swear to God, Frodo Baggins
- had it easier.
- 462
- 00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,555
- I'm sorry, who?
- 463
- 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,015
- Frodo, from The Hobbit.
- 464
- 00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,433
- I don't do hobbits.
- 465
- 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,602
- Right, no, me neither. That's so lame.
- 466
- 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,187
- Jeremy had a chess set.
- 467
- 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,522
- It's totally stupid.
- 468
- 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,773
- Okay, so what are you gonna do?
- 469
- 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,441
- You're gonna trick him into
- giving you a ring?
- 470
- 00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:29,737
- I'm not gonna trick him. I'm
- going to require him.
- 471
- 00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,531
- It's been nine years. Uh-huh.
- 472
- 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,533
- So, what makes you think
- it's gonna change now?
- 473
- 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,034
- I've got some new information.
- 474
- 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,369
- Oh, you do?
- 475
- 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,914
- Yeah, because Steve says "Don't
- hate the Player..."
- 476
- 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,041
- Change the game.
- 477
- 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,252
- BENNETT: It's your shot. Wait!
- 478
- 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,420
- You gotta raise your left leg.
- 479
- 00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,008
- (GRUNTS)
- 480
- 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,428
- H-O, you're a ho.
- 481
- 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:54,721
- Really? I'm a ho?
- 482
- 00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,389
- I've been with the same
- woman for nine years.
- 483
- 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,391
- I'm the Stedman Graham of
- relationships, all right?
- 484
- 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,309
- Bro, I'm not saying ho like "whore."
- 485
- 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,477
- I'm saying ho,
- 486
- 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:02,729
- like punk bitch that's been henpecked,
- 487
- 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,272
- so he ain't got no more nuts,
- 488
- 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,481
- 'cause his girl runs the house. Oh!
- 489
- 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,900
- Speaking of which, how's Kristen?
- She's incredible.
- 490
- 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:11,070
- We were up till 2:00 a.m. playing Call
- ofDuty last night. She loved it.
- 491
- 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,156
- She does it... She does it for you.
- 492
- 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,532
- I know my woman, okay?
- 493
- 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:16,492
- Fantasy? Science fiction? Action figures?
- 494
- 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,119
- All the stuff I love, she loves, too.
- 495
- 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,162
- No, she does that shit
- 496
- 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,913
- for you, trust me. Deep down
- inside, she's thinking...
- 497
- 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,791
- This is some silly-ass shit.
- 498
- 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,169
- What the hell?
- 499
- 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,004
- No wonder Jeremy hasn't proposed yet,
- 500
- 00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,297
- he hasn't gone through puberty.
- 501
- 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,175
- It's time for a little spring cleaning.
- 502
- 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,179
- You first.
- 503
- 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,181
- No, no. That's your problem, Gail.
- 504
- 00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,183
- You don't never want to listen,
- you just want to talk.
- 505
- 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,851
- What'd I say? I said I'm
- gonna be there tomorrow.
- 506
- 00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,270
- No, no, no. Listen, Gail...
- 507
- 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,772
- I'm not gonna go back and
- forth with you. Oh, man.
- 508
- 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,357
- 'Cause I'm trying to talk and you ain't
- gonna let me say what I... Hello?
- 509
- 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,734
- Gail?
- 510
- 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,986
- Did it again. Hung up on me again.
- 511
- 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,988
- What do you call the three
- rings of marriage?
- 512
- 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,198
- No clue.
- 513
- 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,992
- The engagement ring, the wedding
- ring, and the suffer-ring.
- 514
- 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,952
- Oh, and, in your case, the beat-ing.
- 515
- 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,120
- This is not the time.
- 516
- 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,830
- You know, y'all underestimate
- me because I'm short.
- 517
- 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:03,998
- No, it's 'cause you a fool.
- 518
- 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,875
- What up? What's happening, baby?
- 519
- 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,502
- The hell's wrong with you?
- 520
- 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,253
- You're stoned. Yeah, you're high!
- 521
- 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,379
- (GRUNTS)
- 522
- 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,422
- Either you're high,
- 523
- 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,382
- or everything on my eHarmony
- profile is true.
- 524
- 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,884
- I'm high off life, gentlemen.
- 525
- 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,636
- I met this girl.
- 526
- 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,889
- No, matter of fact, she's not even a girl.
- 527
- 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,349
- I met a woman.
- 528
- 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,017
- But you are a woman.
- 529
- 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,482
- Order up!
- 530
- 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,485
- Hey, guess who's back. Table eight.
- 531
- 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,780
- (EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)
- 532
- 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,824
- She is way out of your league, Dom.
- 533
- 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,826
- Ain't no such thing, playboy.
- 534
- 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,036
- All right, she probably spends
- more here in one night
- 535
- 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,496
- than you make in a month.
- 536
- 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,082
- That's true, but, you know,
- 537
- 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:48,042
- just think how much she'll
- save if I cook for her.
- 538
- 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,335
- Oh, you crazy.
- 539
- 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,087
- Dominic. Scallions?
- 540
- 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,839
- All right, Chef, coming up.
- 541
- 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:53,923
- Well, you look cute. What's going on?
- 542
- 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,007
- I do?
- 543
- 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,093
- Yes. Thank you, that was nice of you.
- 544
- 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,845
- Just, you know, Duke made Little League,
- 545
- 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,429
- got a new laptop, met a guy.
- 546
- 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,723
- I think I'm gonna try the white sea bass.
- 547
- 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,600
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Met a what?
- 548
- 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,726
- A guy.
- 549
- 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:07,186
- A real one? Not a blow-up doll?
- 550
- 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,730
- Okay, don't look so surprised.
- It's not that...
- 551
- 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,357
- Honey, I'm just saying,
- 552
- 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,025
- it's been two years since your divorce.
- 553
- 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,695
- And three, maybe four, since you had sex.
- 554
- 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,446
- I said I met a guy, Lauren,
- 555
- 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,031
- I didn't say I was changing my last name.
- 556
- 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,199
- Yet.
- 557
- 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,536
- I need all the details,
- honey. Now. Spill it.
- 558
- 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,955
- Is she hot? Whoo! Pure fire.
- 559
- 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,123
- Does she got real big titties?
- 560
- 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,208
- Yeah, what's the rack like?
- Tell us about the rack.
- 561
- 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,544
- The rack. Definitely some white boy shit.
- 562
- 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,713
- It is white boy shit. We love breasts.
- 563
- 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,715
- You're not even white,
- Bennett. You're clear.
- 564
- 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,134
- He's got kind eyes. Soulful. Yes!
- 565
- 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:39,302
- He's sensitive.
- 566
- 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,887
- I know she got a fat ass.
- 567
- 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,556
- She got that JLo, Serena Williams mash up.
- 568
- 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,350
- Ass so big, I could hide underneath
- it if it was raining.
- 569
- 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,060
- That's way too much ass. No such thing.
- 570
- 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:49,770
- Damn right, it ain't. The
- bigger, the better.
- 571
- 00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:53,232
- But it wasn't just a physical attraction,
- 572
- 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,609
- it was intellectual.
- 573
- 00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,236
- He loved The Immortal Life
- of Henrietta Lacks.
- 574
- 00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,072
- He bought one for his mom's book
- club. Isn't that sweet?
- 575
- 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,532
- Yeah, and kind of gay.
- 576
- 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,617
- He's a gentleman.
- 577
- 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,036
- Yo, she a ho. I know she a
- ho. Oh, definitely a ho.
- 578
- 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,871
- Both of you, you both watch
- your mouth, all right?
- 579
- 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,414
- This one's not a ho.
- 580
- 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,624
- She's a lady.
- 581
- 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,876
- JEREMY: Whipped already. CEDRIC:
- Enjoy it while it lasts, Mike.
- 582
- 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,920
- Let me tell you something, it
- ain't gonna last forever.
- 583
- 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,379
- They all start out happy.
- 584
- 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,089
- See, but here's when it gets real.
- 585
- 00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,217
- When you wake up in the morning,
- and you go in the living room,
- 586
- 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,594
- and you catch her pissing
- inside of your Jordans.
- 587
- 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,054
- And not the regular Jordans.
- 588
- 00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,014
- I'm talking about the ones with
- the patent leather on the side,
- 589
- 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,224
- where the pee don't come out.
- 590
- 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,434
- Don't listen to them, Mike. Relationships
- are beautiful.
- 591
- 00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:29,602
- (GROANS IN DISGUST)
- 592
- 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,354
- Just saying. So, when are
- you guys going out?
- 593
- 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:32,563
- Saturday night.
- 594
- 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,565
- She got to find a sitter,
- first, and then...
- 595
- 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,775
- What, like a dog sitter?
- 596
- 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,109
- No, she has a son.
- 597
- 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,778
- What? She has a child.
- 598
- 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,446
- All right, well, be careful
- dating a baby mama.
- 599
- 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,530
- Why?
- 600
- 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,115
- Because she's the baby mama.
- 601
- 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,450
- Dude, she ain't looking
- for a couple laughs
- 602
- 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:45,618
- and some butt-naked sex.
- 603
- 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,453
- She been a couple laughs
- and some butt-naked sex.
- 604
- 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,996
- Preach. She looking for a husband.
- 605
- 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,206
- A father for her son.
- 606
- 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,499
- Speaking of which, where's the baby daddy?
- 607
- 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,459
- Oh, good question, Zeke. Thank you.
- 608
- 00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:54,543
- JEREMY: Could be a psycho.
- 609
- 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,629
- Just got paroled for killing
- her last boyfriend.
- 610
- 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,090
- Or he could be one of those guys
- that like to hide in a bush
- 611
- 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,258
- waiting for a strange guy
- 612
- 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,509
- to come to his baby mom's house.
- 613
- 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,970
- And when he gets there,
- he pops out the bushes
- 614
- 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,972
- hits this guy on the back
- of the head with a brick.
- 615
- 00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,223
- Without even realizing
- 616
- 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,308
- that this guy's relationship with
- his baby mom was platonic.
- 617
- 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,810
- They ever catch that guy?
- 618
- 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,103
- No, it's a cold case.
- 619
- 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,688
- The cops won't even revisit the case.
- 620
- 00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,022
- They said they couldn't find the brick.
- 621
- 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,609
- I'm just saying, I'm just saying.
- 622
- 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,112
- None of that matters. ZEKE: Really?
- 623
- 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,531
- 'Cause you should see her smile.
- 624
- 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:26,284
- Oh, shit. All right! Okay.
- Good night, Mike.
- 625
- 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,535
- CEDRIC: Talking to you about bricks!
- 626
- 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:28,828
- You wanna go talk about a smile.
- 627
- 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,204
- There is one thing, though.
- 628
- 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,622
- I knew it, he was born a woman.
- 629
- 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,749
- No. (GIGGLING)
- 630
- 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,710
- He's, you know, he's... He's what?
- 631
- 00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:36,961
- A little younger.
- 632
- 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,671
- You have kidnapped a cub, haven't you?
- 633
- 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:39,839
- No, I'll have you know,
- 634
- 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,257
- he seems very mature, actually.
- 635
- 00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:42,425
- Mmm-hmm.
- 636
- 00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,010
- Wait a minute, why am I
- getting all worked up?
- 637
- 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,303
- We haven't even had a date yet.
- 638
- 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,847
- I still need to qualify if
- he's even a contender.
- 639
- 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,265
- Qualify?
- 640
- 00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:50,766
- You know, like... What are
- his long-term goals?
- 641
- 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,685
- What are his short-term
- goals? Can he provide?
- 642
- 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,478
- Don't hit him with all that at once.
- 643
- 00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:57,690
- I know, don't worry. I
- intend to be stealth.
- 644
- 00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,692
- You? How?
- 645
- 00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:04,405
- By acting like a lady, but
- thinking like a man.
- 646
- 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,699
- Oh, you fell for that sexist crap?
- 647
- 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,035
- He's actually giving insight
- into a man's perspective.
- 648
- 00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:11,162
- Why should I have to lower my standards
- 649
- 00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:12,580
- to get a man? Who does that?
- 650
- 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,206
- I'm sorry. Now, what man?
- 651
- 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:15,583
- I just want my equal.
- 652
- 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,377
- Okay? Or at least an attractive,
- cultured man.
- 653
- 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:20,296
- Who's over six feet tall,
- makes six figures,
- 654
- 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,882
- and isn't intimidated by my success.
- 655
- 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,301
- Okay, girl. Quit chasing the ghost
- of James Merrill's past.
- 656
- 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,386
- He is married and long gone.
- 657
- 00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,596
- Mmm. That man was fine.
- 658
- 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,057
- Here we go. Let's do a
- little research, here.
- 659
- 00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:33,184
- Ah! This is you. Please, I don't...
- 660
- 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,728
- "Strong, independent, and lonely women."
- 661
- 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,481
- I don't need some bald-headed
- man on a book
- 662
- 00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,232
- telling me I am strong and independent.
- 663
- 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,359
- Honey, that's a given.
- 664
- 00:22:41,568 --> 00:22:42,610
- But you forgot lonely.
- 665
- 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:44,070
- You are a bitch.
- 666
- 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,404
- You're too strong, Lauren.
- 667
- 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,656
- There's no such thing as too strong.
- 668
- 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:48,866
- And you know what?
- 669
- 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,659
- If I were a man,
- 670
- 00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:53,287
- being the youngest COO of
- a Fortune 500 company
- 671
- 00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:54,789
- would actually be a good thing.
- 672
- 00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,123
- Women would flock.
- 673
- 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,042
- Yeah, but men flee when
- you lead with that.
- 674
- 00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,794
- And it's not just your job, Lauren.
- 675
- 00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:02,171
- Remember what Marcel said
- on your last date,
- 676
- 00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:03,297
- after you trumped his wine choice?
- 677
- 00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:04,423
- It was a better choice.
- 678
- 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:05,633
- What were his words again?
- 679
- 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:08,928
- "You don't need a man, Lauren,
- you are a man."
- 680
- 00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,889
- Happy belated birthday. For you.
- 681
- 00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:15,559
- I'm just saying, all this
- waiting for better?
- 682
- 00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:16,769
- It's making you bitter.
- 683
- 00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:22,441
- Hey, babe?
- 684
- 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:26,612
- I stopped off for a beer, but
- picked us up some dinner.
- 685
- 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:27,947
- Oh!
- 686
- 00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:29,031
- Oh, my God.
- 687
- 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:32,952
- Oh, my God! My anime posters!
- We got robbed!
- 688
- 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,746
- Kris! Are you home?
- 689
- 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,623
- Yes. Where's the fire? What's going on?
- 690
- 00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,291
- Have you not noticed that
- we've been robbed?
- 691
- 00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:41,585
- I just tidied up a little bit. Relax.
- 692
- 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,587
- Tidied up? Yeah.
- 693
- 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,631
- Justice League? Darth Vader? SpongeBob?
- 694
- 00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:46,966
- Where are they? Are they okay?
- 695
- 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,801
- They are safe. They're fine.
- 696
- 00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:49,885
- (SIGHS)
- 697
- 00:23:50,345 --> 00:23:52,847
- I just thought we could
- paint the living room.
- 698
- 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,390
- (SIGHS IN RELIEF)
- 699
- 00:23:54,474 --> 00:23:55,516
- Paint.
- 700
- 00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:58,144
- Okay. And redecorate.
- 701
- 00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:01,605
- Redecorate? Yeah.
- 702
- 00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:02,982
- I thought you loved that stuff.
- 703
- 00:24:03,066 --> 00:24:04,400
- Why would you want to do that?
- 704
- 00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:06,527
- Because it looks like we live
- in a frat house, Jeremy.
- 705
- 00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:08,612
- Oh, stop it. We are adults,
- for Christ's sakes.
- 706
- 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:09,864
- We make a decent living.
- 707
- 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,158
- I think it's time to invest
- and make this a real home.
- 708
- 00:24:12,325 --> 00:24:15,494
- With matching dishes and glasses
- 709
- 00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:19,290
- and a new couch.
- 710
- 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,167
- Well, what's wrong with my couch?
- 711
- 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,463
- Baby, you pulled it out of a dumpster.
- 712
- 00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:26,630
- Yeah.
- 713
- 00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:29,383
- I'm pretty sure Annalisa was impregnated,
- like, right there.
- 714
- 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:31,260
- It's got cigarette burns, bong spills,
- 715
- 00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:32,803
- there was the scabies scare of '06.
- 716
- 00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,346
- You're being dramatic. No, I'm really not.
- 717
- 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,432
- Your aunt who tinkles when she laughs?
- 718
- 00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:38,476
- She pissed all over the
- couch last Christmas.
- 719
- 00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:40,686
- It's disgusting. We're like animals.
- 720
- 00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:43,564
- I cleaned up the bong spill
- and the cigarette burns.
- 721
- 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:45,024
- This couch has history.
- 722
- 00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:47,193
- And now it is history.
- 723
- 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:51,113
- So, here are some new ideas.
- 724
- 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,741
- I thought we could look it over.
- 725
- 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,451
- Research some new styles.
- 726
- 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,203
- Gotta zero in on a color palette.
- 727
- 00:24:57,537 --> 00:25:00,331
- I know you like mauve. You know?
- 728
- 00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,708
- There was that period you went through,
- 729
- 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:04,335
- where you were partial to salmon.
- 730
- 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:07,129
- Yeah, I'd rather watch Letters
- to Juliet with you again.
- 731
- 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,757
- I know you would. 'Cause you cried
- at the end when they got reunited.
- 732
- 00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:11,592
- I wasn't crying, okay?
- 733
- 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,303
- I was having an allergic reaction
- to the perfume in the theater.
- 734
- 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:15,387
- You bought the soundtrack.
- 735
- 00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:17,473
- It's a good soundtrack.
- 736
- 00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:20,226
- Look, I'm really bad at this. Okay?
- 737
- 00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:21,685
- Please, can you do this?
- 738
- 00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,187
- Without me? Really?
- 739
- 00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:24,897
- Really.
- 740
- 00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:26,232
- By myself?
- 741
- 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,192
- Yeah.
- 742
- 00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:31,445
- I trust you. Awesome.
- 743
- 00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:32,821
- MYA: Okay, let me ask you a question.
- 744
- 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,908
- Where is the last guy that you slept
- with in less than 90 days?
- 745
- 00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,076
- You mean, John?
- 746
- 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:38,285
- Hey! Baby!
- 747
- 00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:39,620
- 'Sup, girl?
- 748
- 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:41,247
- Hey, I had a great time the other night.
- 749
- 00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:42,414
- Oh, did you, Alex?
- 750
- 00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:43,874
- Yeah, Melanie. I was gonna call you...
- 751
- 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,418
- Melanie? It's Mya, negro.
- 752
- 00:25:46,586 --> 00:25:48,462
- Yeah. I gotta go. So, I'll call you.
- 753
- 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:51,423
- I know you did not just call her Melanie.
- 754
- 00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:53,759
- It's okay. I'm not even gonna
- let him get to me.
- 755
- 00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:56,095
- (SIGHS) I am in a better place
- and I am on another level.
- 756
- 00:25:58,181 --> 00:26:00,182
- I don't know, Sonia. I feel
- like I have X-ray vision.
- 757
- 00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:01,850
- Like, Man Goggles.
- 758
- 00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:03,686
- You know, we spend all
- this time complaining
- 759
- 00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:05,479
- about how guys don't want
- to be in relationships,
- 760
- 00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:06,814
- they just want to hook up.
- 761
- 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,732
- But really, all along,
- we've had the power.
- 762
- 00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:11,026
- Right. We have?
- 763
- 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,904
- Yes! We control the cookie.
- 764
- 00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:15,781
- She who controls the cookie
- controls the game.
- 765
- 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,826
- Oh, okay, I got it. What's the cookie?
- 766
- 00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:21,787
- It's a metaphor. For what?
- 767
- 00:26:22,163 --> 00:26:23,372
- For...
- 768
- 00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:26,917
- Oh. (GASPS) Oh!
- 769
- 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,128
- Yes. The cookie! The cookie!
- 770
- 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,379
- I got it. The cookie!
- 771
- 00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:32,298
- MYA: I'm telling you, the
- power's in the cookie.
- 772
- 00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:34,675
- So, how do we control the cookie?
- 773
- 00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:36,427
- By putting it in the cookie jar,
- 774
- 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,971
- clasping the lid on tight,
- and leaving it in there.
- 775
- 00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,139
- Okay.
- 776
- 00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:43,058
- Until some little boy actually
- grows up and earns it.
- 777
- 00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:44,184
- I get it.
- 778
- 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,020
- It's kind of like when my cousin
- had the five-date rule.
- 779
- 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:47,354
- It was similar to that.
- 780
- 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:48,647
- Oh, no. That's child's play.
- 781
- 00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:50,733
- I'm thinking something a
- little bit more radical.
- 782
- 00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,234
- See, this is why you need to get the book,
- 783
- 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,861
- because it has a whole chapter on it.
- 784
- 00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:56,822
- "Getting The Respect That You
- Deserve: The 90-Day Rule."
- 785
- 00:26:56,906 --> 00:26:57,948
- Are you high?
- 786
- 00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,950
- No. Who is waiting 90 days?
- 787
- 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:02,411
- If it's good enough for the
- Fortune 500 company,
- 788
- 00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:03,787
- it's good enough for me.
- 789
- 00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:05,581
- See, when I worked at Ford Motor Company,
- 790
- 00:27:05,665 --> 00:27:07,666
- there was a 90-day probation rule.
- 791
- 00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:09,835
- I had to be on the job for 90 days
- 792
- 00:27:09,919 --> 00:27:11,503
- before they gave me a benefit package.
- 793
- 00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:14,798
- Ford figured this, "Let's
- see how he performs.
- 794
- 00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:17,926
- "If he comes in on time,
- if he proves himself,
- 795
- 00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:19,845
- "then we'll give him benefits."
- 796
- 00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:22,640
- So if Ford Motor Company waits 90 days
- 797
- 00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,975
- to pass out their benefit package,
- 798
- 00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:26,685
- why won't women wait?
- 799
- 00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:27,895
- You see, that's our problem.
- 800
- 00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:29,647
- It's that we keep giving it away
- 801
- 00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:31,440
- to some Axe body spray wearing man-ho
- 802
- 00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:32,691
- who thinks my name's Melanie.
- 803
- 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:35,527
- But it doesn't matter, because
- a girl's got needs.
- 804
- 00:27:35,695 --> 00:27:36,862
- Listen to yourself.
- 805
- 00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:39,531
- Do you really think you
- could wait 90 days?
- 806
- 00:27:39,699 --> 00:27:41,659
- Yes. I spent six months dreaming
- 807
- 00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:43,702
- about a guy that I met once
- at a wedding weekend.
- 808
- 00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:45,537
- The one you had sex with at the beach?
- 809
- 00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:47,790
- Yes, who never called.
- 810
- 00:27:47,874 --> 00:27:50,000
- Yeah, so, I definitely think
- I could do 90 days.
- 811
- 00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:52,211
- Matter of fact, I could do
- 90 days before 90 days.
- 812
- 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,962
- I am so sick and tired of men.
- 813
- 00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,506
- Maybe I should start dating women.
- 814
- 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,966
- My God, I'll give you 50
- bucks if you guys kiss.
- 815
- 00:27:58,051 --> 00:28:00,219
- But there has to be tongue.
- Boy, get out of here!
- 816
- 00:28:00,303 --> 00:28:01,303
- (MAN 1 HOWLING) MAN 2: Gave it a shot.
- 817
- 00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:04,264
- What is wrong with the men
- of this generation?
- 818
- 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:05,599
- (LAUGHING) Like, what?
- 819
- 00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:08,268
- I ask myself that same question every day.
- 820
- 00:28:08,436 --> 00:28:10,604
- Whatever happened to respect for women?
- 821
- 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:13,107
- Whatever happened to decorum?
- 822
- 00:28:13,608 --> 00:28:15,901
- May I have the honor of buying
- you two lovely ladies a drink?
- 823
- 00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:18,237
- Absolutely. And thank you for asking.
- 824
- 00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:19,488
- We would like... Why?
- 825
- 00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:22,616
- Is it that you crave scintillating
- conversation?
- 826
- 00:28:22,784 --> 00:28:24,159
- Or that you want to discuss the politics
- 827
- 00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:25,577
- and nuances of the Chechnyan War?
- 828
- 00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:27,955
- You know, I don't really discuss
- politics on the first encounter.
- 829
- 00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,124
- And neither do we. This is why I'm...
- Oh, no, I know what it is.
- 830
- 00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:32,584
- It's the visual thing, right?
- 831
- 00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,169
- You saw me, you sexualized me,
- 832
- 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:35,421
- you wanted to get into my pants?
- 833
- 00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:36,547
- Absolutely not.
- 834
- 00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:38,173
- Yeah, but then, what is it?
- 835
- 00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:40,092
- Because, you know, you don't know me.
- 836
- 00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,802
- I could be a psycho.
- 837
- 00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,512
- I could be a serial killer.
- 838
- 00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:45,097
- I could have 16 personalities.
- 839
- 00:28:45,932 --> 00:28:47,683
- Let me get a Crown and
- Coke. Got you covered.
- 840
- 00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:49,518
- And 16 of whatever she's having?
- 841
- 00:28:51,312 --> 00:28:52,938
- My name is Zeke.
- 842
- 00:28:58,945 --> 00:28:59,987
- Mya.
- 843
- 00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,780
- Nice to meet you, Mya.
- 844
- 00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:05,117
- Day one, 89 more to go.
- 845
- 00:29:06,619 --> 00:29:08,287
- COOK: Order for table 16!
- 846
- 00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,789
- Dominic. Valet's slammed.
- Go park some cars.
- 847
- 00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:17,546
- Thank you. Thanks.
- 848
- 00:29:17,630 --> 00:29:18,922
- (ENGINE RUMBLING)
- 849
- 00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:28,223
- CHORUS: ♪ I ♪ My, my, my, my
- 850
- 00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:31,477
- CHORUS: ♪ Oh, I
- 851
- 00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:33,562
- ♪ Girl, you're the key to my happiness
- 852
- 00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:36,023
- ♪ And I CHORUS: ♪ Can't
- get next to you, baby
- 853
- 00:29:36,483 --> 00:29:38,567
- ♪ Lord CHORUS: ♪ Can't get next to you
- 854
- 00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:40,068
- ♪ I been trying a long time
- 855
- 00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:41,653
- Hey, that's my car!
- 856
- 00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:45,032
- ♪ I don't know what to do CHORUS:
- ♪ Can't get next to you
- 857
- 00:29:45,116 --> 00:29:48,827
- ♪ Ooh, let me tell you CHORUS: ♪ I
- 858
- 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,790
- Who says you have to compromise?
- 859
- 00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:54,333
- ♪ Oh, I ♪
- 860
- 00:29:58,171 --> 00:29:59,755
- Okay, where's the window?
- 861
- 00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:01,173
- (CONGA PLAYING ON STEREO)
- 862
- 00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:02,633
- ♪ Come on, shake your body,
- baby, do the conga
- 863
- 00:30:02,717 --> 00:30:04,510
- ♪ I know you can't control
- yourself any longer
- 864
- 00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,178
- ♪ Feel the rhythm of the
- music getting stronger ♪
- 865
- 00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:08,555
- (MUSIC TURNS OFF) Window. Window, window.
- 866
- 00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:10,891
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Not the
- final destination.
- 867
- 00:30:11,267 --> 00:30:12,309
- Door open.
- 868
- 00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:13,560
- Ah, shit.
- 869
- 00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:16,897
- Hi.
- 870
- 00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,482
- If I didn't know any better,
- 871
- 00:30:18,566 --> 00:30:20,025
- I'd think you were following me.
- 872
- 00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:22,736
- No, just, uh...
- 873
- 00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:25,697
- Just out for a drive, that's all.
- 874
- 00:30:25,865 --> 00:30:27,574
- Have a safe drive.
- 875
- 00:30:28,034 --> 00:30:29,368
- Well, wait.
- 876
- 00:30:30,078 --> 00:30:31,578
- You changed your mind?
- 877
- 00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,622
- You think I could take you
- to dinner sometime?
- 878
- 00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:35,582
- How's tomorrow night?
- 879
- 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:39,837
- HARVEY: Look, we love the fact that
- you're a strong, confident woman
- 880
- 00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,088
- with a fabulous job,
- 881
- 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,714
- but we're men.
- 882
- 00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:46,385
- Our DNA is encoded to be the provider.
- 883
- 00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:48,428
- And if you don't ever let us feel
- 884
- 00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:50,055
- like we're in control and necessary,
- 885
- 00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:52,558
- we're just not about to profess
- our love to you.
- 886
- 00:30:52,725 --> 00:30:54,309
- I mean, we'll just find us a woman
- 887
- 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,727
- who actually makes us feel like a man.
- 888
- 00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:56,937
- Yeah, a ho.
- 889
- 00:30:57,063 --> 00:30:59,314
- We're kind of like dogs, see, you pet us,
- 890
- 00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:00,899
- we'll be loyal to you forever.
- 891
- 00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:03,318
- Yeah, dogs. There you go, Steve.
- 892
- 00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:07,489
- I don't need that book.
- 893
- 00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:16,915
- (DUKE WHOOPING)
- 894
- 00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:18,125
- Oh, yes! Yeah! Huh!
- 895
- 00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:21,169
- Oh, honey. Jennifer's coming
- over tonight to babysit.
- 896
- 00:31:21,337 --> 00:31:23,422
- You're going to bingo with Grandma?
- 897
- 00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:26,049
- No, actually. I have a date. Really?
- 898
- 00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:27,718
- With a man or a woman?
- 899
- 00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:30,596
- A man! Duke, why would
- you even ask me that?
- 900
- 00:31:30,763 --> 00:31:33,015
- Because I overheard Grandma say
- 901
- 00:31:33,099 --> 00:31:34,766
- that she was beginning to wonder.
- 902
- 00:31:34,934 --> 00:31:36,935
- You know I'm cool either way.
- 903
- 00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,520
- Yo, sorry I'm late.
- 904
- 00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:39,980
- Yo, Bennett, get in the game, let's go.
- 905
- 00:31:40,064 --> 00:31:41,189
- What's up, man?
- 906
- 00:31:41,357 --> 00:31:42,941
- I had the best night of my
- entire life last night.
- 907
- 00:31:43,109 --> 00:31:44,234
- ZEKE: Is that right? Unbelievable.
- 908
- 00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:45,527
- Check ball. I thought you
- got fired last night.
- 909
- 00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:47,779
- That's all right. I'll make
- twice as much catering.
- 910
- 00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:49,239
- All right. Play ball. MICHAEL:
- Hope she's worth it.
- 911
- 00:31:49,324 --> 00:31:51,158
- What you gonna do with that?
- What you gonna do with that?
- 912
- 00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:52,492
- Count it!
- 913
- 00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:54,453
- Over the back!
- 914
- 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,788
- See, I'm taking her to The Lounge.
- 915
- 00:31:56,956 --> 00:31:58,749
- Maurice hooked me up with a private room
- 916
- 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,084
- and all I gotta pay for
- is wine and a fat tip.
- 917
- 00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:02,210
- Nice.
- 918
- 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:04,630
- So you gonna be escorting her
- in that 2005 Honda Civic,
- 919
- 00:32:04,797 --> 00:32:08,300
- with the missing bumper or that $155,000
- car she think you drive?
- 920
- 00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:10,302
- I'm just gonna level with her, I guess.
- 921
- 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,262
- And tell her what?
- 922
- 00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:13,430
- That you an unemployed prep cook?
- 923
- 00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,474
- Zeke, unemployed Culinary
- Institute graduate.
- 924
- 00:32:15,558 --> 00:32:16,683
- We talked about this.
- 925
- 00:32:16,851 --> 00:32:18,435
- Yes, that's not my point. That's stupid.
- 926
- 00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:19,686
- That's dumb, Dom.
- 927
- 00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:21,647
- You trying to get some,
- you gonna have to lie.
- 928
- 00:32:21,814 --> 00:32:23,649
- Listen, one time I told Gail
- I just won the lottery.
- 929
- 00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:26,068
- I need some gas money so I can go redeem
- the ticket. She gave me $20.
- 930
- 00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:27,527
- Don't lie to her.
- 931
- 00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:28,737
- I don't want to lie to her.
- 932
- 00:32:28,863 --> 00:32:31,865
- Okay, hold up. You don't
- have to lie. You omit.
- 933
- 00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:33,492
- Just, no, no, you omit.
- 934
- 00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:35,077
- You just tell her you're a high-end chef
- 935
- 00:32:35,161 --> 00:32:36,662
- that's in between gigs.
- 936
- 00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:37,829
- Your car's in the shop.
- 937
- 00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:39,748
- She think you drive an expensive car,
- 938
- 00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:41,124
- you're not driving it 'cause
- it's in the shop.
- 939
- 00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:42,960
- Matter of fact, my cousin,
- he got a town car company.
- 940
- 00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,169
- I'll get you a town car.
- 941
- 00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:46,213
- So all you gotta do is wine
- her, you dine her,
- 942
- 00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:47,464
- you tattoo your name in that ass,
- 943
- 00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:48,757
- then you tell her the truth.
- 944
- 00:32:48,841 --> 00:32:50,008
- Gail thought I was an account executive
- 945
- 00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,301
- and I met her in the mail room.
- 946
- 00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:52,427
- I had mail in my hand.
- 947
- 00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:54,012
- Yeah, but you became an account
- exec right after that.
- 948
- 00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:55,263
- That had nothing to do with Gail.
- 949
- 00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:56,890
- She set up your interview. No,
- she didn't. Thomas did.
- 950
- 00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:59,893
- Don't cut me off, Mike. That's what
- Gail do, I don't like that.
- 951
- 00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,937
- MICHAEL: Why's he so sensitive?
- All right, Dom, either way,
- 952
- 00:33:02,021 --> 00:33:03,855
- once a woman's into you, she'll
- put up with anything.
- 953
- 00:33:04,023 --> 00:33:05,023
- Trust me.
- 954
- 00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:07,359
- Only if you're putting it on her right.
- 955
- 00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:09,361
- All right. That's...
- 956
- 00:33:09,570 --> 00:33:10,654
- Come on, man.
- 957
- 00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:11,738
- I'm gonna go clean the ball off.
- 958
- 00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:12,823
- MICHAEL: Bennett, just wipe it off.
- 959
- 00:33:12,907 --> 00:33:15,075
- BENNETT: No, I got some
- sanitizer in my bag.
- 960
- 00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:24,209
- (BOTH EXCLAIMING)
- 961
- 00:33:24,293 --> 00:33:26,169
- (QUESTIONING IN ITALIAN)
- 962
- 00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:30,048
- Sorry, man. Wrong apartment.
- 963
- 00:33:30,174 --> 00:33:31,466
- (QUESTIONING IN ITALIAN)
- 964
- 00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:33,135
- That's my lucky chair.
- 965
- 00:33:33,219 --> 00:33:34,344
- What are you guys doing?
- 966
- 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:36,054
- Baby! What do you think?
- 967
- 00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:38,306
- We spent the entire day at H. D. Buttercup
- 968
- 00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:39,891
- and we decided to go
- 969
- 00:33:40,059 --> 00:33:41,309
- with modern with a mix of vintage.
- 970
- 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:42,436
- "We"?
- 971
- 00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:44,813
- Yeah. Gianni, our designer.
- 972
- 00:33:44,897 --> 00:33:46,231
- (SPEAKING ITALIAN)
- 973
- 00:33:46,315 --> 00:33:49,609
- Old out, new in, beautiful, eh?
- 974
- 00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:52,612
- (BOTH SPEAKING ITALIAN)
- 975
- 00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:54,906
- I think it doesn't even look
- like our place, babe.
- 976
- 00:33:55,074 --> 00:33:56,867
- Exactly, it looks like grown-ups
- live here. I love it.
- 977
- 00:33:56,951 --> 00:33:57,993
- Stop!
- 978
- 00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:01,830
- Put the chair down.
- 979
- 00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:03,999
- The lucky chair stays.
- 980
- 00:34:06,669 --> 00:34:07,878
- Compromise.
- 981
- 00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:10,505
- (GIANNI EXCLAIMING IN ITALIAN)
- 982
- 00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:12,257
- (SPEAKING ITALIAN)
- 983
- 00:34:14,802 --> 00:34:17,763
- Fuck, what... You speak Italian now?
- 984
- 00:34:18,097 --> 00:34:20,640
- ♪ They love how we do it
- 985
- 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:23,018
- ♪ They love how we do it ♪
- 986
- 00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:24,770
- Oh, my God.
- 987
- 00:34:25,271 --> 00:34:27,147
- That's your dress. Yeah?
- 988
- 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:29,816
- Your ass looks great in that dress.
- 989
- 00:34:29,984 --> 00:34:31,568
- No, it's too sexy.
- 990
- 00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:33,403
- There's no such thing.
- 991
- 00:34:33,571 --> 00:34:36,907
- Sonia, I want him to last
- 90 days, not 90 seconds.
- 992
- 00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:40,160
- I want to project "Keeper,"
- not "Sports Fish."
- 993
- 00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:42,287
- Okay, what the hell is a sports fish?
- 994
- 00:34:42,455 --> 00:34:43,914
- See, this is why you need
- to read the book!
- 995
- 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,457
- I don't want to read the book.
- 996
- 00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:48,085
- Steve says that a guy only
- fishes for two reasons.
- 997
- 00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:50,003
- Number one, he fishes to eat.
- 998
- 00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,880
- That means he's looking for a keeper,
- 999
- 00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:53,173
- somebody to take home,
- 1000
- 00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:55,342
- somebody to introduce to his mom,
- 1001
- 00:34:55,426 --> 00:34:57,260
- somebody to build a life with.
- 1002
- 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,596
- Or two, he's looking for a sports fish.
- 1003
- 00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,264
- That means he's looking for a trophy,
- 1004
- 00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:03,141
- somebody to show off to his buddies,
- 1005
- 00:35:03,309 --> 00:35:04,935
- put up on the wall as a prize.
- 1006
- 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,895
- But you gotta be careful with that one,
- 1007
- 00:35:06,979 --> 00:35:08,522
- 'cause he's gonna throw that one back.
- 1008
- 00:35:08,689 --> 00:35:15,612
- Okay.
- 1009
- 00:35:16,906 --> 00:35:17,989
- How do I look?
- 1010
- 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:21,076
- Like a keeper. With a great ass.
- 1011
- 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:22,327
- Yeah? Yes!
- 1012
- 00:35:22,411 --> 00:35:25,789
- Right. Now, the question is, is he?
- 1013
- 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:27,332
- Now I just need my hit list.
- 1014
- 00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:29,000
- Now, what the hell is a hit list?
- 1015
- 00:35:29,168 --> 00:35:30,794
- Will you get your wine off my hit list?
- 1016
- 00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,921
- Girl, you're crazy.
- 1017
- 00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:37,467
- This is where I wrote down my strategic
- dos and don'ts for my date tonight.
- 1018
- 00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:39,261
- Okay, you know you sound like
- you're going to war, right?
- 1019
- 00:35:39,428 --> 00:35:41,304
- Yes, girl, because love is a battlefield.
- 1020
- 00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:42,472
- Oh, boy.
- 1021
- 00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:44,933
- Steve says you have to set
- the requirements very high
- 1022
- 00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,434
- before you even get in the car,
- 1023
- 00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:47,727
- 'cause you don't want to
- become Chirp-chirp Girl.
- 1024
- 00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:48,854
- A what?
- 1025
- 00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:51,064
- Chirp-chirp. He just hits
- the locks and you hop in.
- 1026
- 00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:52,816
- He don't even have to open the door.
- 1027
- 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,776
- I don't see nothing wrong with
- being a Chirp-chirp Girl.
- 1028
- 00:35:58,573 --> 00:36:02,993
- ♪ Baby, tonight, the night I let you know
- 1029
- 00:36:03,077 --> 00:36:07,873
- ♪ Baby, tonight, the night we lose control
- 1030
- 00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:10,167
- ♪ Baby, tonight
- 1031
- 00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,960
- You look beautiful.
- 1032
- 00:36:12,128 --> 00:36:13,253
- Thanks.
- 1033
- 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:15,213
- Amazing.
- 1034
- 00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:20,010
- ♪ Tonight, I'll be the best you ever had
- 1035
- 00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:22,220
- (GASPS) Sweet!
- 1036
- 00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:26,391
- Where to? Goddamn, look how
- small your skirt is.
- 1037
- 00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:28,018
- (WHOOPS) (DOMINIC CLEARS THROAT)
- 1038
- 00:36:28,102 --> 00:36:29,644
- Right. Unprofessional.
- 1039
- 00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:31,813
- Sorry, sir, take it out of my tip.
- 1040
- 00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:35,233
- ♪ I don't wanna brag but I'll be
- 1041
- 00:36:37,486 --> 00:36:40,113
- ♪ The best you ever had ♪
- 1042
- 00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:42,157
- (CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
- 1043
- 00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:43,408
- Um...
- 1044
- 00:36:43,784 --> 00:36:48,246
- It's open.
- 1045
- 00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:51,333
- I don't go out on dates with guys
- who don't open the door for me.
- 1046
- 00:36:51,709 --> 00:36:53,043
- Really? Really.
- 1047
- 00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:54,586
- Seriously? Yes.
- 1048
- 00:36:54,754 --> 00:36:55,879
- Aw, man!
- 1049
- 00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:01,384
- No, he didn't.
- 1050
- 00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:07,349
- Got you!
- 1051
- 00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:12,270
- Your chariot awaits.
- 1052
- 00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:13,605
- Thank you.
- 1053
- 00:37:13,856 --> 00:37:15,607
- Funny guy, huh?
- 1054
- 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:17,525
- I do okay.
- 1055
- 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,198
- Hey, look, I think there's
- a few basic questions
- 1056
- 00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:24,574
- that every woman should ask a man
- 1057
- 00:37:24,742 --> 00:37:26,284
- to determine two things,
- 1058
- 00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:27,911
- if this guy has a plan for you,
- 1059
- 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:30,664
- or if this guy is just
- gonna play with you.
- 1060
- 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,250
- My short-term goals?
- 1061
- 00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:35,377
- What, you mean like tomorrow?
- 1062
- 00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:39,631
- I need a bong hit.
- 1063
- 00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:41,091
- MICHAEL: To answer your question,
- 1064
- 00:37:41,175 --> 00:37:43,760
- I guess my long-term goals and short-term
- goals are the same thing.
- 1065
- 00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:45,136
- CANDACE: How so?
- 1066
- 00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:47,097
- Well, my entire life,
- 1067
- 00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:50,684
- it's always been about hard
- work and improving myself
- 1068
- 00:37:50,893 --> 00:37:53,228
- and I guess what I'm looking for now is,
- 1069
- 00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:55,397
- you know, someone I can share it with.
- 1070
- 00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:57,732
- So... So, have you...
- 1071
- 00:37:57,858 --> 00:37:59,234
- You go ahead, you go. You go.
- 1072
- 00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:01,861
- Um...
- 1073
- 00:38:02,905 --> 00:38:05,323
- What are your short-term goals?
- 1074
- 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:07,867
- You know what?
- 1075
- 00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:10,120
- I'd like to skip dinner and
- get right to dessert.
- 1076
- 00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,871
- DOMINIC: That's where it started,
- 1077
- 00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,248
- you know? Really?
- 1078
- 00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:15,875
- This is a great choice.
- 1079
- 00:38:16,043 --> 00:38:18,086
- Thank you. Thank you.
- 1080
- 00:38:18,170 --> 00:38:19,421
- So, Lauren, tell me more about yourself.
- 1081
- 00:38:19,505 --> 00:38:20,505
- What do you do?
- 1082
- 00:38:21,215 --> 00:38:22,757
- I'm in management.
- 1083
- 00:38:22,925 --> 00:38:25,135
- For a media company.
- 1084
- 00:38:25,219 --> 00:38:28,888
- Yeah. But I don't wanna talk about
- me, my work. Long week.
- 1085
- 00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:30,932
- So, tell me about you. What do you do?
- 1086
- 00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:34,436
- Um... I'm a chef.
- 1087
- 00:38:34,603 --> 00:38:36,479
- Really? Where?
- 1088
- 00:38:37,064 --> 00:38:38,606
- Well, I'm actually
- 1089
- 00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:44,070
- deciding between two different
- offers. That good, huh?
- 1090
- 00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,364
- Yeah. But I don't wanna...
- 1091
- 00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:48,616
- I kinda don't want to jinx it, you know?
- 1092
- 00:38:48,784 --> 00:38:51,286
- No, I get it. No, don't, you shouldn't.
- 1093
- 00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:52,579
- (MIMICS ZIP)
- 1094
- 00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:54,372
- Okay, you know what?
- 1095
- 00:38:54,457 --> 00:38:55,749
- Let's not even talk about work anymore.
- 1096
- 00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,459
- Yeah, let's not.
- 1097
- 00:38:57,626 --> 00:39:00,587
- So, what are your views on relationships?
- 1098
- 00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:03,214
- Or your long-term goals. Either one.
- 1099
- 00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:05,759
- Um...
- 1100
- 00:39:07,553 --> 00:39:08,595
- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- 1101
- 00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:09,929
- (STAMMERING) To be honest,
- 1102
- 00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:12,390
- I really want to open my
- own restaurant one day.
- 1103
- 00:39:14,101 --> 00:39:16,561
- Sorry, that's work.
- 1104
- 00:39:16,729 --> 00:39:18,605
- No, that's a dream.
- 1105
- 00:39:19,815 --> 00:39:21,691
- We can talk about dreams. Dreams are good.
- 1106
- 00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:26,029
- It's nice to hear a woman
- actually say that.
- 1107
- 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:29,199
- I just believe you can make
- any dream come true
- 1108
- 00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:32,827
- if you're willing to work
- hard enough to get it.
- 1109
- 00:39:33,871 --> 00:39:35,747
- I couldn't agree with you more.
- 1110
- 00:39:36,832 --> 00:39:38,458
- Cheers. Salud.
- 1111
- 00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:41,669
- (EXHALING)
- 1112
- 00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:53,098
- Remember when we were in college
- and we used to get
- 1113
- 00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:56,434
- like, so high and talk for hours?
- 1114
- 00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:58,436
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
- 1115
- 00:40:00,022 --> 00:40:04,859
- Like about our dreams, and like
- our plans and our goals.
- 1116
- 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:06,945
- And time travel.
- 1117
- 00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,989
- Like, what do you think about
- the future, Jeremy?
- 1118
- 00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:14,369
- I don't think we'll be riding around
- in hovercrafts or anything,
- 1119
- 00:40:14,453 --> 00:40:15,829
- but droids.
- 1120
- 00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:18,498
- Definitely droids. There better be droids.
- 1121
- 00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:21,376
- No, I mean, like your future, Jeremy.
- 1122
- 00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:24,796
- What are your long-term goals, Jeremy?
- 1123
- 00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:30,009
- Who are you, Oprah?
- 1124
- 00:40:31,011 --> 00:40:33,096
- You're funny. (LAUGHING)
- 1125
- 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,726
- I just have this amazing idea
- of a rocker, chic kinda look,
- 1126
- 00:40:39,311 --> 00:40:40,395
- so, it's really exciting.
- 1127
- 00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:42,105
- No, that is exciting. Yeah.
- 1128
- 00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:43,314
- Yeah.
- 1129
- 00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:44,816
- So, um,
- 1130
- 00:40:45,484 --> 00:40:48,695
- what are some of your long-term goals?
- 1131
- 00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:51,823
- Kind of a fly-by-the-seat- of-your-pants
- kinda guy, you know?
- 1132
- 00:40:52,908 --> 00:40:53,992
- Oh, okay.
- 1133
- 00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:56,911
- That's cool.
- 1134
- 00:40:58,747 --> 00:41:00,290
- (R&B SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)
- 1135
- 00:41:00,374 --> 00:41:03,334
- Oh, turn that up. Turn
- that up, turn that up.
- 1136
- 00:41:03,711 --> 00:41:05,962
- That is my... Yeah.
- 1137
- 00:41:06,213 --> 00:41:07,755
- You know these guys?
- 1138
- 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,340
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- 1139
- 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:12,343
- (LAUGHS) My band opened for them once.
- 1140
- 00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:14,429
- You have a band?
- 1141
- 00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:15,638
- Had.
- 1142
- 00:41:16,348 --> 00:41:17,891
- Had a record deal for a second.
- 1143
- 00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:20,143
- Let me hear your CD. Come on!
- 1144
- 00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:22,270
- What makes you think that I have a CD?
- 1145
- 00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:24,564
- I don't know anybody who's
- been in an R&B band
- 1146
- 00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:25,857
- who doesn't have their
- own CD in their car.
- 1147
- 00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:29,277
- Wow, I feel so unique right
- now, it's crazy.
- 1148
- 00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:31,321
- That's why you're reaching for it. Yeah.
- 1149
- 00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:33,948
- Let me see it.
- 1150
- 00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:36,743
- Wow!
- 1151
- 00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,119
- That is crazy.
- 1152
- 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,330
- Hey, at least I didn't have a Jheri curl.
- 1153
- 00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,581
- (LAUGHS) What?
- 1154
- 00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:43,416
- Play me your favorite track.
- 1155
- 00:41:45,669 --> 00:41:46,711
- Wow.
- 1156
- 00:41:48,672 --> 00:41:49,714
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Please say a command.
- 1157
- 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,633
- CD. Play track
- 1158
- 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:55,220
- seven.
- 1159
- 00:41:55,387 --> 00:41:57,222
- Playing track seven.
- 1160
- 00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:02,060
- ♪ Last night I had a dream about a dream
- 1161
- 00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:05,063
- ♪ About you
- 1162
- 00:42:08,442 --> 00:42:09,901
- You wrote this?
- 1163
- 00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:13,988
- ♪ Now every time I think it seems to be
- 1164
- 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,407
- ♪ About you
- 1165
- 00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:21,371
- This is beautiful.
- 1166
- 00:42:21,455 --> 00:42:24,666
- ♪ One minute I was over love
- 1167
- 00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:29,796
- ♪ A second later I was a part of us
- 1168
- 00:42:30,005 --> 00:42:31,047
- Who was she?
- 1169
- 00:42:31,423 --> 00:42:32,465
- Who?
- 1170
- 00:42:33,008 --> 00:42:34,425
- The girl who broke your heart.
- 1171
- 00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:36,803
- What makes you think a
- girl broke my heart?
- 1172
- 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:39,389
- Track seven.
- 1173
- 00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:46,062
- I left that all on the track.
- 1174
- 00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:49,440
- ♪ Last night I had a dream about a dream
- 1175
- 00:42:49,525 --> 00:42:51,150
- ♪ About... ♪
- 1176
- 00:42:56,490 --> 00:42:57,615
- Oh, my God.
- 1177
- 00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,412
- Okay. Okay, wait, wait, wait.
- 1178
- 00:43:02,496 --> 00:43:03,746
- What's wrong, what's wrong?
- 1179
- 00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:07,292
- It's just... I don't do
- this on the first date.
- 1180
- 00:43:07,459 --> 00:43:09,502
- Okay, um, I understand.
- 1181
- 00:43:09,670 --> 00:43:10,878
- I'm a Christian, too.
- 1182
- 00:43:10,963 --> 00:43:12,505
- I respect that, you know, and...
- 1183
- 00:43:15,509 --> 00:43:17,510
- I had a really wonderful time.
- 1184
- 00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:18,970
- Me, too.
- 1185
- 00:43:20,639 --> 00:43:22,390
- Well, thanks.
- 1186
- 00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:28,730
- There. I accomplished it.
- 1187
- 00:43:28,897 --> 00:43:29,897
- Accomplished what?
- 1188
- 00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:32,150
- My real short-term goal.
- 1189
- 00:43:32,234 --> 00:43:33,735
- You dog.
- 1190
- 00:43:34,069 --> 00:43:35,111
- So, listen.
- 1191
- 00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:36,613
- I've been thinking about this all night.
- 1192
- 00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:37,905
- I want you to meet my mother.
- 1193
- 00:43:37,990 --> 00:43:39,032
- Really?
- 1194
- 00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:40,450
- It would really mean a lot to me.
- 1195
- 00:43:40,868 --> 00:43:41,993
- Well,
- 1196
- 00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:44,746
- I'd like you to meet my son.
- 1197
- 00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:46,831
- I would love that.
- 1198
- 00:43:46,915 --> 00:43:48,291
- Just name the time and place...
- 1199
- 00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,335
- Hi, I'm Duke.
- 1200
- 00:43:50,419 --> 00:43:51,794
- Did you touch my momma?
- 1201
- 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:53,004
- Whoa, no.
- 1202
- 00:43:53,088 --> 00:43:55,131
- It was PG, little homie, not even PG-13.
- 1203
- 00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:57,717
- Sure. You like video games?
- 1204
- 00:43:57,885 --> 00:43:59,385
- Have you ever played Street Racer Three?
- 1205
- 00:43:59,553 --> 00:44:00,595
- No.
- 1206
- 00:44:00,679 --> 00:44:01,763
- Then you haven't lived, my man!
- 1207
- 00:44:01,847 --> 00:44:02,847
- (LAUGHS)
- 1208
- 00:44:04,808 --> 00:44:06,684
- You have a good night, all right, Candace?
- 1209
- 00:44:06,852 --> 00:44:07,894
- Good night. Thank you.
- 1210
- 00:44:08,020 --> 00:44:08,978
- It's nice to meet you, Duke. Make sure...
- 1211
- 00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,146
- Nice to meet you, too.
- 1212
- 00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:14,233
- I really had a nice time tonight.
- 1213
- 00:44:14,443 --> 00:44:16,152
- I had a really good time, too.
- 1214
- 00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:24,577
- Okay, okay, okay.
- 1215
- 00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:27,914
- This is officially good night.
- 1216
- 00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:31,668
- Okay, you know what? I
- could use a nightcap.
- 1217
- 00:44:32,086 --> 00:44:33,920
- A nightcap. Yeah.
- 1218
- 00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:35,630
- Yeah. Um...
- 1219
- 00:44:35,714 --> 00:44:37,632
- There's this really nice
- bar around the corner.
- 1220
- 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,925
- You should have fun.
- 1221
- 00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:40,968
- What... So it's like that?
- 1222
- 00:44:41,178 --> 00:44:42,679
- You have no idea.
- 1223
- 00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:45,264
- So, how long are we talking
- before I get invited up?
- 1224
- 00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:47,850
- Five dates.
- 1225
- 00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:50,478
- For a nightcap.
- 1226
- 00:44:52,564 --> 00:44:53,773
- Good night.
- 1227
- 00:44:56,860 --> 00:44:58,069
- Wow.
- 1228
- 00:44:58,737 --> 00:45:00,196
- This bitch is crazy.
- 1229
- 00:45:03,867 --> 00:45:06,703
- ♪ My sexy love
- 1230
- 00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:08,454
- ♪ So sexy ♪
- 1231
- 00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:16,462
- (GROANING)
- 1232
- 00:45:20,592 --> 00:45:21,926
- Morning, beautiful.
- 1233
- 00:45:22,886 --> 00:45:24,053
- Hi.
- 1234
- 00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:26,514
- Thanks.
- 1235
- 00:45:26,598 --> 00:45:27,598
- I, um...
- 1236
- 00:45:27,933 --> 00:45:29,058
- I made you breakfast.
- 1237
- 00:45:29,309 --> 00:45:30,435
- Seriously?
- 1238
- 00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:32,019
- Yeah.
- 1239
- 00:45:32,646 --> 00:45:34,605
- From my kitchen? Let me take that.
- 1240
- 00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:37,984
- It's a simple eggs Florentine,
- but with a twist,
- 1241
- 00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:40,695
- because I used the ingredients
- from your Thai takeouts.
- 1242
- 00:45:40,863 --> 00:45:41,988
- Simple? This looks amazing.
- 1243
- 00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:43,239
- Well, let me know what you think.
- 1244
- 00:45:45,367 --> 00:45:46,617
- Mmm.
- 1245
- 00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:48,369
- This is so good.
- 1246
- 00:45:48,787 --> 00:45:50,496
- Yeah? Well, I love a woman who can eat.
- 1247
- 00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:54,375
- And I love a man who can cook.
- 1248
- 00:45:54,543 --> 00:45:56,711
- Maybe you'll let me do it
- again for you sometime.
- 1249
- 00:45:56,795 --> 00:45:58,171
- (COUGHS)
- 1250
- 00:45:58,255 --> 00:45:59,714
- Juice, please?
- 1251
- 00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,550
- A little spicy?
- 1252
- 00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:07,847
- Thanks.
- 1253
- 00:46:10,225 --> 00:46:11,559
- Who's that?
- 1254
- 00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:14,061
- That's my best friend, Candace.
- 1255
- 00:46:14,229 --> 00:46:15,563
- Okay. And my godson, Duke.
- 1256
- 00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:19,609
- You know, you're not exactly
- what I picture
- 1257
- 00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:21,819
- when I hear the word "godmother."
- 1258
- 00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:24,197
- Thank God for that.
- 1259
- 00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:35,249
- You let yourself in again, huh?
- 1260
- 00:46:36,084 --> 00:46:37,460
- I didn't expect you to be here.
- 1261
- 00:46:37,544 --> 00:46:39,086
- I figured you'd be tiptoeing
- around her place.
- 1262
- 00:46:39,254 --> 00:46:41,547
- Well, first of all, I live here, not you,
- 1263
- 00:46:41,715 --> 00:46:43,925
- and second, she has this five-date rule
- 1264
- 00:46:44,009 --> 00:46:45,176
- before I get invited up.
- 1265
- 00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:46,344
- Can you believe that?
- 1266
- 00:46:46,428 --> 00:46:48,471
- I'm the Negro Gigolo, the original Nigolo.
- 1267
- 00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:49,680
- Five dates?
- 1268
- 00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:51,432
- What, is she some type of Farrakhan
- Muslim or something?
- 1269
- 00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:52,600
- She's a diva.
- 1270
- 00:46:52,684 --> 00:46:53,851
- She literally refuses to
- walk through a door
- 1271
- 00:46:53,936 --> 00:46:54,977
- unless I open it for her.
- 1272
- 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,354
- Gail used to do that.
- 1273
- 00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:57,855
- Gail used to get on my nerves with that.
- 1274
- 00:46:58,023 --> 00:47:00,858
- "Get the door for me. How am I walk
- in and you ain't open the door?"
- 1275
- 00:47:01,026 --> 00:47:03,778
- "My hands hurt. You better
- open that goddamn door!"
- 1276
- 00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:05,029
- That's why I'm gonna end it right now.
- 1277
- 00:47:05,113 --> 00:47:06,155
- Yeah, you need to.
- 1278
- 00:47:06,281 --> 00:47:07,281
- 'Cause you don't need her.
- 1279
- 00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:08,741
- You got me, and what we got is special.
- 1280
- 00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:10,660
- Open her door. (SCOFFS)
- 1281
- 00:47:10,744 --> 00:47:13,538
- It's 2012. Come around and open my door.
- 1282
- 00:47:13,705 --> 00:47:15,373
- I don't know, Sonia, I just felt
- like a different woman.
- 1283
- 00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:18,417
- I felt so in control and strong, and...
- 1284
- 00:47:18,585 --> 00:47:19,794
- What about him?
- 1285
- 00:47:19,878 --> 00:47:20,920
- Well, I think...
- 1286
- 00:47:21,004 --> 00:47:22,129
- Oh.
- 1287
- 00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:25,633
- It's him.
- 1288
- 00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:28,970
- "Are you available for dinner
- tomorrow night?"
- 1289
- 00:47:29,054 --> 00:47:30,096
- Well, are you?
- 1290
- 00:47:30,180 --> 00:47:31,848
- Well, I do believe that I am.
- 1291
- 00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:35,476
- But I do not go out with guys
- who ask me via text.
- 1292
- 00:47:37,396 --> 00:47:38,729
- She trippin'.
- 1293
- 00:47:38,897 --> 00:47:40,815
- You know, Gail always suggested
- them egg whites,
- 1294
- 00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:42,275
- she said they was better for you.
- 1295
- 00:47:42,442 --> 00:47:44,819
- Hey, can you put a shirt on
- while you cooking, man?
- 1296
- 00:47:45,487 --> 00:47:46,487
- (WHOOPS)
- 1297
- 00:47:46,572 --> 00:47:47,738
- Look at these hours.
- 1298
- 00:47:47,906 --> 00:47:49,866
- What you come in here glowing
- for like you're pregnant?
- 1299
- 00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:51,242
- My boys.
- 1300
- 00:47:52,035 --> 00:47:54,871
- Hey, you got some. Oh! On the first date?
- 1301
- 00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:55,997
- Homie scored.
- 1302
- 00:47:56,081 --> 00:47:57,707
- DOMINIC: Yeah, I did.
- 1303
- 00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:00,084
- And I'm totally screwed.
- 1304
- 00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:01,627
- We never once talked about my job.
- 1305
- 00:48:01,795 --> 00:48:04,338
- You really like him. I really do.
- 1306
- 00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:06,883
- I don't even know how much he makes.
- 1307
- 00:48:07,384 --> 00:48:09,051
- Whoa! And you know what? I don't care!
- 1308
- 00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:10,720
- I believe in his dreams.
- 1309
- 00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:12,847
- She thinks I'm a chef on the rise.
- 1310
- 00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:14,056
- With a cold-ass Benz.
- 1311
- 00:48:14,182 --> 00:48:15,850
- And a sexy limo driver. I
- looked good last night,
- 1312
- 00:48:15,934 --> 00:48:17,184
- I had the hat cocked to the side.
- 1313
- 00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:20,104
- Guys, she's going to run when
- I tell her the truth.
- 1314
- 00:48:20,272 --> 00:48:22,106
- Whatever you do, you don't
- tell her the truth.
- 1315
- 00:48:22,232 --> 00:48:23,232
- Thank you. You delay.
- 1316
- 00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:25,192
- Hell, I wouldn't tell her until
- she was in her third trimester.
- 1317
- 00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:26,986
- Yeah, I can't do that. ZEKE:
- Dom, I know you, okay?
- 1318
- 00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:28,529
- And you're trying to grow
- a conscience here.
- 1319
- 00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:29,864
- Trust me on this one.
- 1320
- 00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:31,365
- Honesty is overrated, man.
- 1321
- 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,409
- Hey, that's in the Bible. Old Testament.
- 1322
- 00:48:34,202 --> 00:48:36,787
- I just don't want a relationship
- based on lies.
- 1323
- 00:48:36,955 --> 00:48:38,122
- That's called marriage.
- 1324
- 00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,832
- Dom, you don't fool me.
- 1325
- 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,459
- I know what this is about.
- This is about sex.
- 1326
- 00:48:41,543 --> 00:48:43,210
- You didn't do what you were supposed
- to do in the bedroom.
- 1327
- 00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:44,378
- That's why you walk through here
- 1328
- 00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:45,713
- with your shoulders all slouched
- 1329
- 00:48:45,797 --> 00:48:47,381
- and your self-esteem all low.
- 1330
- 00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:49,133
- It's true. When you don't smash right,
- 1331
- 00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:50,509
- the insecurities come out on you.
- 1332
- 00:48:50,677 --> 00:48:52,386
- You know what he did? He gave it a LD.
- 1333
- 00:48:52,471 --> 00:48:53,888
- Lazy Doodle. That's exactly what he did.
- 1334
- 00:48:54,056 --> 00:48:56,307
- Right. You gotta put it down
- like the right enforcement.
- 1335
- 00:48:56,808 --> 00:48:59,185
- I can't do this no more. I'm
- done. I'm done with this.
- 1336
- 00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:01,354
- Like, dude, put a shirt on. It's us!
- 1337
- 00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:03,439
- There's no one else here, just us!
- 1338
- 00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:06,233
- So, you're telling me she's got a son?
- 1339
- 00:49:06,401 --> 00:49:08,277
- Yeah! Duke. He's six years old.
- 1340
- 00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:09,737
- An amazing kid, full of energy.
- 1341
- 00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,948
- That's an awful lot of
- responsibility, baby.
- 1342
- 00:49:12,115 --> 00:49:14,116
- Well, she's a really responsible
- woman, Ma.
- 1343
- 00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:16,285
- I'm not talking about her,
- I'm talking about you.
- 1344
- 00:49:17,537 --> 00:49:19,580
- You really think you got what it takes
- 1345
- 00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:21,123
- to date a single mother?
- 1346
- 00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:23,417
- Well, I was raised by a single
- mother, wasn't I?
- 1347
- 00:49:23,502 --> 00:49:24,502
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1348
- 00:49:25,045 --> 00:49:26,796
- Oh, but I'm one of a kind, baby.
- 1349
- 00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:30,549
- Trust me, Ma. You are going to love her.
- 1350
- 00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:32,802
- (MUSIC PLAYING) (PEOPLE
- TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
- 1351
- 00:49:32,886 --> 00:49:34,345
- Thank God!
- 1352
- 00:49:35,555 --> 00:49:36,931
- Somewhere familiar.
- 1353
- 00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:38,265
- Some place that hasn't changed,
- 1354
- 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:39,433
- that still looks the same.
- 1355
- 00:49:39,601 --> 00:49:41,310
- Yo, J, what's wrong with you?
- 1356
- 00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:43,437
- My Fortress of Solitude has morphed
- 1357
- 00:49:43,522 --> 00:49:45,064
- into a damn Bed, Bath and Beyond.
- 1358
- 00:49:45,232 --> 00:49:46,232
- What does that mean?
- 1359
- 00:49:46,316 --> 00:49:47,441
- I'm telling you, he talks in code.
- 1360
- 00:49:47,609 --> 00:49:49,402
- Listen, Kristen, she redecorated.
- 1361
- 00:49:49,569 --> 00:49:51,362
- CEDRIC: Redecorated? Why
- didn't you say that?
- 1362
- 00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:53,072
- No, no, no, she didn't redecorate.
- 1363
- 00:49:53,156 --> 00:49:54,407
- She obliterated.
- 1364
- 00:49:54,574 --> 00:49:57,368
- Every trace of my identity,
- gone! My anime posters,
- 1365
- 00:49:57,452 --> 00:49:59,412
- Battlestar Galactica shot glasses
- that you used to like,
- 1366
- 00:49:59,496 --> 00:50:00,705
- it's all gone.
- 1367
- 00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:01,914
- May I?
- 1368
- 00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:03,165
- Wait a minute. She ain't even ask you?
- 1369
- 00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:04,458
- She just threw your stuff out?
- 1370
- 00:50:04,626 --> 00:50:06,711
- That's some takeover shit right
- there. That's crazy.
- 1371
- 00:50:06,878 --> 00:50:09,046
- I was starting to feel like someone else.
- 1372
- 00:50:09,214 --> 00:50:12,550
- Someone warm and modern with
- a smattering of vintage.
- 1373
- 00:50:12,718 --> 00:50:14,969
- That's probably your lips
- tingling. It's a STD.
- 1374
- 00:50:15,053 --> 00:50:16,762
- You just put your mouth on Zeke's drink.
- 1375
- 00:50:16,930 --> 00:50:18,723
- Oh! And she threw away
- my couch! Thank God!
- 1376
- 00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:20,391
- (ALL CHEER)
- 1377
- 00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:21,976
- Hail Kristen!
- 1378
- 00:50:22,060 --> 00:50:23,310
- That couch has a lot of memories, guys.
- 1379
- 00:50:23,395 --> 00:50:24,395
- CEDRIC: Is that what that smell was?
- 1380
- 00:50:24,604 --> 00:50:25,980
- Yeah, all of us got laid on that couch.
- 1381
- 00:50:26,064 --> 00:50:27,106
- Twice.
- 1382
- 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,691
- You've had that couch since
- college, right? Yes!
- 1383
- 00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:29,900
- That's some white boy shit.
- 1384
- 00:50:30,068 --> 00:50:31,277
- No, that's some Jeremy shit.
- 1385
- 00:50:31,361 --> 00:50:32,403
- ZEKE: No, that's some white boy shit.
- 1386
- 00:50:32,571 --> 00:50:34,613
- I graduated college, I
- got rid of my couch.
- 1387
- 00:50:34,781 --> 00:50:35,948
- What college did you go to?
- 1388
- 00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:38,784
- DeVry, Class of February. Valedictorian.
- 1389
- 00:50:38,952 --> 00:50:39,994
- Whose side are you on?
- 1390
- 00:50:40,162 --> 00:50:42,163
- Ain't no brother on the planet
- gonna let no fine-ass sista
- 1391
- 00:50:42,247 --> 00:50:43,914
- sit on no stinky-ass couch from college.
- 1392
- 00:50:44,082 --> 00:50:45,958
- Preach, boy! It don't matter what happen,
- 1393
- 00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:47,376
- you go and you find a way
- to get that furniture,
- 1394
- 00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:48,627
- figure how to pay for it later.
- 1395
- 00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:51,422
- Yeah, don't do that, though. That's called
- negro shit. Don't ever do that.
- 1396
- 00:50:51,548 --> 00:50:52,673
- BENNETT: That is negro shit!
- 1397
- 00:50:52,799 --> 00:50:53,799
- You guys do that a lot.
- 1398
- 00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:54,967
- You pay for something you can't afford.
- 1399
- 00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,470
- Ced, you couldn't even
- afford your wedding!
- 1400
- 00:50:57,637 --> 00:50:59,180
- I'm making my payments.
- 1401
- 00:50:59,347 --> 00:51:00,431
- Listen, Kristen is a great girl.
- 1402
- 00:51:00,515 --> 00:51:03,100
- Don't mess up something good over
- a damn couch, all right?
- 1403
- 00:51:03,351 --> 00:51:04,685
- Something's up.
- 1404
- 00:51:05,645 --> 00:51:06,771
- CEDRIC: The game was on,
- 1405
- 00:51:06,938 --> 00:51:08,397
- but not the one we were watching.
- 1406
- 00:51:08,940 --> 00:51:10,399
- While we were sitting there on our asses
- 1407
- 00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:11,609
- watching the game,
- 1408
- 00:51:11,693 --> 00:51:13,235
- our team was getting destroyed.
- 1409
- 00:51:13,695 --> 00:51:15,571
- The other team was drawing up plays,
- 1410
- 00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:17,031
- planning their strategies,
- 1411
- 00:51:17,199 --> 00:51:19,325
- and plotting their next moves.
- 1412
- 00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:21,786
- Hey, you.
- 1413
- 00:51:21,953 --> 00:51:23,329
- JEREMY: You still up?
- 1414
- 00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:24,872
- I thought you were sleeping.
- 1415
- 00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:28,084
- I couldn't put this down.
- 1416
- 00:51:28,168 --> 00:51:29,293
- Mmm. Yeah.
- 1417
- 00:51:29,461 --> 00:51:31,879
- CEDRIC: Jeremy didn't even
- know he was under attack.
- 1418
- 00:51:31,963 --> 00:51:34,715
- Hey, uh... God, it was such a trip.
- 1419
- 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,259
- I ran into Sarah's little brother. Oh.
- 1420
- 00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:39,845
- And he told me he got a job at Neversoft.
- 1421
- 00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:42,306
- Cool.
- 1422
- 00:51:42,390 --> 00:51:43,474
- Yeah.
- 1423
- 00:51:43,558 --> 00:51:46,602
- Weren't you offered an
- internship there once?
- 1424
- 00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:49,480
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Turned it
- down for a real job.
- 1425
- 00:51:49,981 --> 00:51:52,983
- Right, yeah, that junior level
- one that you're still in.
- 1426
- 00:51:53,485 --> 00:51:54,485
- What?
- 1427
- 00:51:56,780 --> 00:51:57,780
- (SIGHS)
- 1428
- 00:52:00,325 --> 00:52:01,867
- CEDRIC: My brothers didn't even
- know they were at war.
- 1429
- 00:52:01,952 --> 00:52:04,954
- They were lost in the honeymoon phase.
- 1430
- 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,705
- They were too busy enjoying the ride.
- 1431
- 00:52:06,873 --> 00:52:08,958
- All right, who's hungry?
- 1432
- 00:52:09,376 --> 00:52:11,293
- I'm hungry, but, babe, babe!
- 1433
- 00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:12,920
- Damn! Look at that ass!
- 1434
- 00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:14,296
- ZEKE: That's nice. She's hot.
- 1435
- 00:52:14,464 --> 00:52:15,589
- Guys, come on, that's somebody's daughter.
- 1436
- 00:52:15,757 --> 00:52:17,091
- Wait, that's the baby mama?
- 1437
- 00:52:17,175 --> 00:52:18,425
- Mmm-hmm. That's Candace?
- 1438
- 00:52:18,593 --> 00:52:19,718
- That is Candace.
- 1439
- 00:52:19,803 --> 00:52:21,220
- I know the baby mama.
- 1440
- 00:52:22,764 --> 00:52:25,307
- No, she's Lauren's best friend.
- 1441
- 00:52:25,475 --> 00:52:28,269
- LAUREN: So, apparently they play basketball
- three times a week at the Y,
- 1442
- 00:52:28,436 --> 00:52:31,689
- and Dominic says that Michael is the
- most successful guy he knows.
- 1443
- 00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:33,649
- Really? (LAUGHS) You scored!
- 1444
- 00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:35,776
- I did well? You know what,
- 1445
- 00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:38,404
- Michael said Dominic is
- a really amazing chef.
- 1446
- 00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:41,115
- I know, I know! I love food.
- 1447
- 00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:42,825
- Oh, no, bitch. What?
- 1448
- 00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:44,618
- We can double date.
- 1449
- 00:52:44,703 --> 00:52:46,078
- (BOTH SCREAM)
- 1450
- 00:52:47,539 --> 00:52:48,664
- Oh, that's not good.
- 1451
- 00:52:48,748 --> 00:52:49,957
- That's not good at all.
- 1452
- 00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,375
- Let's go play basketball, guys.
- 1453
- 00:52:51,459 --> 00:52:52,501
- Yeah, let's do that.
- 1454
- 00:52:52,669 --> 00:52:54,086
- ZEKE: Whatever you do, don't double date.
- 1455
- 00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:56,422
- That's right. Damn, Ced.
- 1456
- 00:52:57,215 --> 00:52:58,382
- Really?
- 1457
- 00:52:58,717 --> 00:53:00,176
- I was in the middle of getting dressed.
- 1458
- 00:53:00,635 --> 00:53:02,219
- J, you're losing the game for us!
- 1459
- 00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:04,722
- Me? Yo, you are killing us right now.
- 1460
- 00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:06,182
- I'm setting screens, you gotta
- be using the screens.
- 1461
- 00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:07,433
- You shot one for 27.
- 1462
- 00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:09,143
- The shot I made was a game changer, J.
- 1463
- 00:53:09,311 --> 00:53:10,644
- That's it, I'm done. New teams next week.
- 1464
- 00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:12,188
- I'm not being on his team anymore.
- 1465
- 00:53:12,355 --> 00:53:13,814
- I'm not the one that's not
- coming off the picks!
- 1466
- 00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:15,399
- Excuse me, y'all done here?
- 1467
- 00:53:15,483 --> 00:53:16,817
- We want to play some full court.
- 1468
- 00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:17,943
- Oh, yeah. Y'all take it.
- 1469
- 00:53:18,153 --> 00:53:19,737
- No, no, no, we're not.
- 1470
- 00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:21,780
- Got a lot more basketball to
- play over here, fellas,
- 1471
- 00:53:21,948 --> 00:53:24,074
- so looks like you picked the wrong
- court to try and come and take.
- 1472
- 00:53:24,242 --> 00:53:25,534
- We just ran three games! Uh-uh!
- 1473
- 00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:27,536
- MICHAEL: Yeah, Ced, we're
- good. No, we're not.
- 1474
- 00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:29,830
- We are not good. Sorry.
- 1475
- 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,957
- Yo, so y'all stepping off or what?
- 1476
- 00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:33,375
- Yeah, we were stepping.
- I was stepping on...
- 1477
- 00:53:33,543 --> 00:53:35,502
- Stepping off? Who are you, Shaft?
- 1478
- 00:53:35,670 --> 00:53:37,046
- How about you get some language
- from this year?
- 1479
- 00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,965
- So why don't you, and the stronger
- version of Prince,
- 1480
- 00:53:40,133 --> 00:53:41,175
- go back down to that side of the court
- 1481
- 00:53:41,259 --> 00:53:42,384
- and do what y'all was doing?
- 1482
- 00:53:42,469 --> 00:53:43,719
- 'Cause if y'all want the court,
- 1483
- 00:53:43,803 --> 00:53:45,179
- you'll play us for the
- court like real men.
- 1484
- 00:53:45,263 --> 00:53:46,430
- So y'all want to play for it.
- 1485
- 00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:47,806
- You heard what I said.
- 1486
- 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,309
- Am I stuttering, huh? Suckas.
- 1487
- 00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:52,478
- They're not gonna punk us. We men! Ced.
- 1488
- 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,521
- People come in here, think they got us.
- 1489
- 00:53:54,606 --> 00:53:55,856
- ZEKE: You are not serious.
- 1490
- 00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:58,150
- I am serious. It is what it is.
- 1491
- 00:53:58,860 --> 00:54:00,069
- Oh, shit.
- 1492
- 00:54:00,612 --> 00:54:01,862
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- 1493
- 00:54:03,156 --> 00:54:04,531
- I thought it was just two of them.
- 1494
- 00:54:04,616 --> 00:54:06,408
- I did not see the rest.
- 1495
- 00:54:06,576 --> 00:54:08,577
- Turn around and say you're sorry.
- 1496
- 00:54:08,745 --> 00:54:10,246
- It's too late. We're in it. Apologize.
- 1497
- 00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:11,747
- No, I'm not apologizing for shit.
- 1498
- 00:54:11,831 --> 00:54:13,207
- Michael, this is when you be a man!
- 1499
- 00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,584
- All right, guys. If a game
- is what you want,
- 1500
- 00:54:15,669 --> 00:54:17,211
- a game is what you gonna get.
- 1501
- 00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:18,420
- You wanna play?
- 1502
- 00:54:18,588 --> 00:54:19,630
- JEREMY: Ced, let him go!
- 1503
- 00:54:19,714 --> 00:54:21,090
- ZEKE: Cedric! What are you doing?
- 1504
- 00:54:22,717 --> 00:54:24,134
- JEREMY: You okay? ZEKE: Get up, get up.
- 1505
- 00:54:24,302 --> 00:54:25,844
- JEREMY: So embarrassing.
- 1506
- 00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:28,597
- I really tried to take it. It was obvious.
- 1507
- 00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:31,558
- I really did. I swear to God,
- I gave it everything I had.
- 1508
- 00:54:31,726 --> 00:54:33,227
- I sprained my esophagus in the last game,
- 1509
- 00:54:33,311 --> 00:54:34,520
- so I'm gonna sit this one out.
- 1510
- 00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:35,646
- Your esophagus is in your throat.
- 1511
- 00:54:35,730 --> 00:54:37,439
- Shut up, Bennett. Zeke, we need six.
- 1512
- 00:54:37,941 --> 00:54:40,067
- Zeke! Forget Zeke, we'll just
- have to play with five.
- 1513
- 00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:41,235
- Listen, we are men.
- 1514
- 00:54:41,319 --> 00:54:42,695
- We tie our shoes up the same way they do.
- 1515
- 00:54:42,821 --> 00:54:43,821
- Yeah, their shoes are bigger.
- 1516
- 00:54:43,989 --> 00:54:45,406
- It don't matter. Be a man!
- 1517
- 00:54:45,490 --> 00:54:46,448
- When I come out this,
- 1518
- 00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:47,950
- you better say who you got
- and you better mean it.
- 1519
- 00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:50,411
- Let's go. D up.
- 1520
- 00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:54,373
- I got her. Let's go. Get
- yours. I got mine.
- 1521
- 00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:57,376
- MAN: We welcome you all to the
- JW Marriott Los Angeles.
- 1522
- 00:54:57,544 --> 00:54:58,877
- CEDRIC: But then, the bubble burst.
- 1523
- 00:54:59,045 --> 00:55:02,047
- For Dominic, the tables turned
- on Tuesday afternoon.
- 1524
- 00:55:02,674 --> 00:55:04,216
- MAN: ...the best year in
- your company's history.
- 1525
- 00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:07,678
- She is not just the youngest
- COO you've ever had,
- 1526
- 00:55:07,762 --> 00:55:09,221
- but the very best.
- 1527
- 00:55:09,931 --> 00:55:11,724
- Ladies and gentlemen, Lauren Harris.
- 1528
- 00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:13,309
- (ALL APPLAUDING)
- 1529
- 00:55:13,810 --> 00:55:14,977
- Thank you.
- 1530
- 00:55:16,354 --> 00:55:17,479
- (DISHES CRASHING)
- 1531
- 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:21,442
- Aw, shit.
- 1532
- 00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,903
- Mom? There you go. LORETTA: Hey!
- 1533
- 00:55:25,071 --> 00:55:27,239
- Mom, I would like you to meet Candace.
- 1534
- 00:55:27,324 --> 00:55:28,365
- BOTH: Hi!
- 1535
- 00:55:28,575 --> 00:55:30,659
- CEDRIC: For Michael, the bomb
- dropped on Wednesday.
- 1536
- 00:55:30,827 --> 00:55:32,286
- I've heard so much about you.
- 1537
- 00:55:32,704 --> 00:55:34,830
- Well, I've heard nothing about you!
- 1538
- 00:55:35,415 --> 00:55:37,416
- We just talked about her last night
- at dinner. What are you...
- 1539
- 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,251
- Well, I don't remember.
- 1540
- 00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:40,419
- Mom, why are you...
- 1541
- 00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:41,795
- I don't remember.
- 1542
- 00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:48,635
- It's beautiful, your home.
- Just gorgeous. It's great.
- 1543
- 00:55:52,265 --> 00:55:53,265
- Hmm.
- 1544
- 00:55:53,892 --> 00:55:56,185
- Oh, wow, look! Look at this,
- 1545
- 00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:59,229
- I have this exact same frame for my son!
- 1546
- 00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:02,524
- Oh, that's right, you're
- the one with the child.
- 1547
- 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:06,153
- Now let me ask you, sweetie,
- 1548
- 00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:11,450
- what does your baby's daddy think
- about you dating my Michael?
- 1549
- 00:56:12,243 --> 00:56:13,410
- Oh.
- 1550
- 00:56:13,495 --> 00:56:15,037
- Or is he incarcerated?
- 1551
- 00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:18,290
- You know, how you people run
- around, I don't know.
- 1552
- 00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:20,501
- Incarcerated? No, why would you...
- 1553
- 00:56:20,668 --> 00:56:22,002
- Candace, would you like
- a tour of the house?
- 1554
- 00:56:22,170 --> 00:56:24,671
- Yeah, why don't we give Tandace
- a tour of the house?
- 1555
- 00:56:24,839 --> 00:56:26,507
- Candace. It is Candace.
- 1556
- 00:56:26,674 --> 00:56:27,800
- Tan... Tandace?
- 1557
- 00:56:28,134 --> 00:56:31,178
- It's... Candace, with a...
- 1558
- 00:56:32,013 --> 00:56:34,098
- I can tell she really likes you.
- 1559
- 00:56:34,265 --> 00:56:36,266
- Come on, let's take a tour. Now
- come on, let's take a look.
- 1560
- 00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:37,351
- Just come on.
- 1561
- 00:56:37,435 --> 00:56:38,852
- LORETTA: Doesn't it tell a story?
- 1562
- 00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:41,605
- I've tried to capture all
- the special moments
- 1563
- 00:56:41,689 --> 00:56:43,148
- with me and my baby boy.
- 1564
- 00:56:43,316 --> 00:56:45,150
- I bet you don't remember when I
- got you that bracelet, though.
- 1565
- 00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:47,111
- Outside of Paris,
- 1566
- 00:56:47,195 --> 00:56:49,863
- this little shop with the
- cute little jewelry...
- 1567
- 00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:52,074
- Remember that look on your face
- when you opened up that box?
- 1568
- 00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:53,325
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- 1569
- 00:56:53,410 --> 00:56:54,993
- I thought we were in Milan.
- 1570
- 00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:56,370
- No, we'd come from that restaurant...
- 1571
- 00:56:56,538 --> 00:56:58,247
- Oh, baby, you're in my room.
- 1572
- 00:56:58,331 --> 00:57:00,249
- It's where all the magic happens, girl.
- 1573
- 00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:01,708
- CANDACE: Wow. MICHAEL: What do you think?
- 1574
- 00:57:01,876 --> 00:57:03,460
- It's like a time capsule.
- 1575
- 00:57:03,628 --> 00:57:06,046
- Oh, I keep everything the same for him,
- 1576
- 00:57:06,131 --> 00:57:07,423
- for when he sleeps over.
- 1577
- 00:57:07,590 --> 00:57:08,841
- You sleep over?
- 1578
- 00:57:09,008 --> 00:57:10,384
- Just on Sunday nights, baby. It's nothing.
- 1579
- 00:57:10,552 --> 00:57:15,013
- And Sunday nights have always
- been reserved for his mother.
- 1580
- 00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:17,683
- And they always will be.
- 1581
- 00:57:17,851 --> 00:57:21,061
- I make his favorite food,
- and then we play rummy.
- 1582
- 00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:24,398
- Mom is the best rummy player right here.
- 1583
- 00:57:25,525 --> 00:57:27,526
- ♪ A chiky-chiky rummy-rummy ♪
- 1584
- 00:57:28,403 --> 00:57:29,445
- Come on.
- 1585
- 00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:31,363
- I'm not gonna do it, not
- in front of Candace.
- 1586
- 00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:33,157
- Well, let me get your laundry.
- 1587
- 00:57:33,324 --> 00:57:34,450
- Laundry?
- 1588
- 00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:35,784
- Let me help you with that, Mom.
- 1589
- 00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:37,369
- I need some more socks, Mom.
- 1590
- 00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:39,413
- LORETTA: They stink! (LAUGHS)
- 1591
- 00:57:39,497 --> 00:57:41,206
- But you know, I don't mind the stinking.
- 1592
- 00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:42,916
- I just gotta scrub them a little more.
- 1593
- 00:57:43,084 --> 00:57:47,087
- Scrubba-dub-dub. Baby Michael in the tub!
- 1594
- 00:57:47,338 --> 00:57:48,338
- (LORETTA LAUGHING)
- 1595
- 00:57:55,138 --> 00:57:56,555
- (SIGHS)
- 1596
- 00:57:57,307 --> 00:57:58,348
- Shit.
- 1597
- 00:57:59,058 --> 00:58:01,059
- CEDRIC: For Zeke, the cookie
- crumbled on Thursday.
- 1598
- 00:58:01,227 --> 00:58:04,062
- So, the night is young.
- What do you wanna do?
- 1599
- 00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,358
- Well, it is our fifth date, right?
- 1600
- 00:58:09,944 --> 00:58:12,571
- It is? I don't know, I lost count.
- 1601
- 00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:14,740
- Did you really?
- 1602
- 00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:15,908
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1603
- 00:58:17,035 --> 00:58:20,245
- So, nightcap?
- 1604
- 00:58:21,956 --> 00:58:23,081
- Okay.
- 1605
- 00:58:24,792 --> 00:58:26,043
- Yeah.
- 1606
- 00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:28,337
- So it's kind of small,
- 1607
- 00:58:28,421 --> 00:58:31,173
- but I really got it for the French windows
- 1608
- 00:58:32,675 --> 00:58:34,551
- and 'cause it's close to work.
- 1609
- 00:58:35,386 --> 00:58:36,386
- So...
- 1610
- 00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:37,804
- Stunning.
- 1611
- 00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:40,015
- Um...
- 1612
- 00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:44,102
- Yeah, maybe we should
- get more comfortable.
- 1613
- 00:58:44,437 --> 00:58:45,479
- Yeah.
- 1614
- 00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:46,813
- Yeah. Yeah.
- 1615
- 00:58:46,898 --> 00:58:47,898
- Um...
- 1616
- 00:58:48,733 --> 00:58:50,776
- I'm gonna put on some music.
- 1617
- 00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:52,861
- Or you know what?
- 1618
- 00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:55,948
- Better yet, maybe you should
- go ahead and choose.
- 1619
- 00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:57,574
- Cool.
- 1620
- 00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,118
- That vinyl?
- 1621
- 00:59:00,286 --> 00:59:02,788
- Yeah, I'm a bit of a purist.
- 1622
- 00:59:03,998 --> 00:59:05,958
- I'll be right back. Okay.
- 1623
- 00:59:06,125 --> 00:59:07,626
- Don't leave. I mean...
- 1624
- 00:59:09,003 --> 00:59:10,462
- Don't leave.
- 1625
- 00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:12,673
- I won't leave. Okay. All right.
- 1626
- 00:59:17,512 --> 00:59:20,138
- Wow. You really are a purist.
- 1627
- 00:59:21,349 --> 00:59:23,517
- How the hell did you get this on vinyl?
- 1628
- 00:59:23,851 --> 00:59:24,893
- No.
- 1629
- 00:59:29,148 --> 00:59:30,816
- (SLOW DOWN PLAYING)
- 1630
- 00:59:33,361 --> 00:59:37,489
- ♪ Can we
- 1631
- 00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:39,700
- ♪ Slow down
- 1632
- 00:59:39,784 --> 00:59:42,536
- ♪ I wanna take my time and enjoy you
- 1633
- 00:59:42,620 --> 00:59:44,288
- ♪ Enjoy you
- 1634
- 00:59:44,372 --> 00:59:49,209
- ♪ Everything else can wait
- I want it right, right now
- 1635
- 00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:51,878
- So, um, how do you take your coffee?
- 1636
- 00:59:52,171 --> 00:59:53,880
- CEDRIC: See, Zeke found out the hard way
- 1637
- 00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,966
- that sometimes, a nightcap
- means just that,
- 1638
- 00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:57,217
- a nightcap.
- 1639
- 00:59:57,302 --> 00:59:58,635
- Three shots of Jack.
- 1640
- 00:59:59,429 --> 01:00:00,929
- You're so silly.
- 1641
- 01:00:03,808 --> 01:00:05,267
- (DOOR OPENS)
- 1642
- 01:00:08,646 --> 01:00:09,688
- Yo!
- 1643
- 01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:11,440
- Oh, Ced, what you run outta this time?
- 1644
- 01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:12,691
- I ain't had no milk.
- 1645
- 01:00:12,942 --> 01:00:15,444
- Hey, let me ask you a serious question.
- 1646
- 01:00:15,528 --> 01:00:17,112
- You think I look like Idris Elba?
- 1647
- 01:00:17,238 --> 01:00:19,906
- 'Cause the stripper down at the new club
- Sweaty Crack told me that last night,
- 1648
- 01:00:19,991 --> 01:00:21,325
- but I had a lot of ones in my hand,
- 1649
- 01:00:21,409 --> 01:00:22,743
- so I don't know if she was
- trying to play me or not.
- 1650
- 01:00:22,910 --> 01:00:24,411
- Don't even answer. Don't worry about it.
- 1651
- 01:00:24,579 --> 01:00:26,204
- 'Cause it made me feel
- good when she said it.
- 1652
- 01:00:26,372 --> 01:00:28,123
- All right, looks like somebody
- got invited in.
- 1653
- 01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:29,374
- How'd it go?
- 1654
- 01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:30,500
- We had coffee.
- 1655
- 01:00:30,668 --> 01:00:32,544
- And? Mint Milano Cookies.
- 1656
- 01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:33,795
- And?
- 1657
- 01:00:33,963 --> 01:00:35,631
- And we talked and we talked
- 1658
- 01:00:35,715 --> 01:00:38,008
- about our childhoods and art and music,
- 1659
- 01:00:38,092 --> 01:00:39,926
- and Plato's Allegory of the Cave.
- 1660
- 01:00:40,011 --> 01:00:41,386
- What is Plato's Allegory of the Cave?
- 1661
- 01:00:41,554 --> 01:00:42,721
- It's actually very profound.
- 1662
- 01:00:42,889 --> 01:00:44,765
- On par with Bishop Don Magic Juan book
- 1663
- 01:00:44,849 --> 01:00:46,183
- of pimp knowledge and street wisdom,
- 1664
- 01:00:46,351 --> 01:00:47,517
- which is a very good read.
- 1665
- 01:00:47,685 --> 01:00:49,144
- Five dates and all I get
- is a cup of coffee.
- 1666
- 01:00:49,228 --> 01:00:50,354
- What is wrong with her?
- 1667
- 01:00:50,521 --> 01:00:52,064
- Ain't nothing wrong with her.
- What's wrong with you?
- 1668
- 01:00:52,231 --> 01:00:55,192
- Looks like the old Negro Gigolo
- is losing his flow.
- 1669
- 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,194
- I'm in a relationship without sex,
- 1670
- 01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:59,696
- when all I'm really trying to get
- is sex without a relationship.
- 1671
- 01:00:59,864 --> 01:01:01,031
- So, when you gonna see her again?
- 1672
- 01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:02,908
- Saturday night, nigga. Mind your business.
- 1673
- 01:01:03,951 --> 01:01:05,243
- Nice job.
- 1674
- 01:01:05,411 --> 01:01:07,621
- Hey, Zeke, when you go upstairs,
- 1675
- 01:01:07,705 --> 01:01:08,789
- you gonna look in the toilet,
- 1676
- 01:01:08,956 --> 01:01:10,415
- it's gonna appear to be stopped up,
- 1677
- 01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:11,541
- I don't know for sure.
- 1678
- 01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:13,126
- I just didn't know where the plunger was,
- 1679
- 01:01:13,211 --> 01:01:15,170
- so don't be caught off
- guard when you see it.
- 1680
- 01:01:15,254 --> 01:01:16,296
- There's a lot.
- 1681
- 01:01:16,798 --> 01:01:18,590
- So we stayed up all night... SONIA: Okay.
- 1682
- 01:01:18,758 --> 01:01:20,717
- ...and we talked about everything.
- 1683
- 01:01:20,885 --> 01:01:22,177
- Did you keep the cookie in the cookie jar?
- 1684
- 01:01:22,261 --> 01:01:23,553
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1685
- 01:01:23,638 --> 01:01:25,472
- But of course. Nice.
- 1686
- 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,265
- I'm not gonna lie, though,
- and say that it was easy.
- 1687
- 01:01:27,642 --> 01:01:29,267
- I don't know, when he kissed me,
- 1688
- 01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,435
- it was like sex.
- 1689
- 01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:34,189
- So, yeah, thank you for your
- advice on the undies.
- 1690
- 01:01:34,273 --> 01:01:35,357
- Which ones did you wear?
- 1691
- 01:01:35,566 --> 01:01:37,943
- The granny ones. The grandma drawers?
- 1692
- 01:01:38,111 --> 01:01:39,986
- I told you the ugly panty
- trick would work.
- 1693
- 01:01:40,071 --> 01:01:41,738
- You wasn't trying to listen
- now. And it worked.
- 1694
- 01:01:41,906 --> 01:01:43,824
- Now that it's not just a theory,
- 1695
- 01:01:43,908 --> 01:01:46,243
- do you really think you can last 90 days?
- 1696
- 01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:47,619
- Monique!
- 1697
- 01:01:47,912 --> 01:01:49,037
- It's Mya!
- 1698
- 01:01:49,247 --> 01:01:50,288
- Call me!
- 1699
- 01:01:50,832 --> 01:01:52,958
- It's Mya, asshole!
- 1700
- 01:01:56,129 --> 01:01:57,170
- Yeah.
- 1701
- 01:01:57,255 --> 01:02:00,674
- Yeah, I think I can definitely
- do 74 more days.
- 1702
- 01:02:01,092 --> 01:02:02,342
- Okay, Monique.
- 1703
- 01:02:03,511 --> 01:02:05,512
- LAUREN: I'm canceling the date. Why?
- 1704
- 01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,472
- He's a part-time waiter.
- 1705
- 01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,349
- May I remind you, Miss Thing,
- 1706
- 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:11,184
- that we were both waitresses
- 1707
- 01:02:11,269 --> 01:02:13,687
- for two years at Olive Garden?
- 1708
- 01:02:13,771 --> 01:02:15,647
- Candace, we were in college.
- 1709
- 01:02:15,815 --> 01:02:17,941
- I'm talking about a grown-ass man,
- 1710
- 01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:21,695
- who admitted that he was valet-parking
- the Benz he chased me down in.
- 1711
- 01:02:22,155 --> 01:02:23,280
- It's kind of romantic.
- 1712
- 01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:25,031
- It's kind of pathetic.
- 1713
- 01:02:25,199 --> 01:02:26,616
- I thought you didn't care
- about how much he made.
- 1714
- 01:02:26,784 --> 01:02:28,201
- I thought you believed in his dreams.
- 1715
- 01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:29,578
- But not his pipe dreams. Come on!
- 1716
- 01:02:29,662 --> 01:02:30,829
- Okay, fine.
- 1717
- 01:02:30,997 --> 01:02:33,415
- Dump the first guy who puts
- you before anything else
- 1718
- 01:02:33,499 --> 01:02:34,624
- because he doesn't make six figures.
- 1719
- 01:02:34,959 --> 01:02:37,294
- Please, he doesn't even make four.
- 1720
- 01:02:37,462 --> 01:02:39,546
- And I can't invest that kind
- of time in something
- 1721
- 01:02:39,630 --> 01:02:41,840
- that I know won't yield
- tangible dividends.
- 1722
- 01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,216
- Would you listen to yourself?
- 1723
- 01:02:43,301 --> 01:02:46,553
- Dominic is a person, Lauren,
- not a stock portfolio.
- 1724
- 01:02:46,721 --> 01:02:48,305
- Like Steve Harvey says,
- 1725
- 01:02:48,389 --> 01:02:50,348
- there's no such thing as the perfect man.
- 1726
- 01:02:50,516 --> 01:02:52,058
- You have to compromise on something.
- 1727
- 01:02:52,143 --> 01:02:53,351
- What do you have to lose?
- 1728
- 01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:55,187
- My youth.
- 1729
- 01:02:55,354 --> 01:02:56,646
- So, wait. She just canceled on you?
- 1730
- 01:02:56,814 --> 01:02:58,982
- She was about to. Then she got
- interrupted by her boss.
- 1731
- 01:02:59,150 --> 01:03:00,984
- It's messed up. You know what?
- 1732
- 01:03:01,736 --> 01:03:03,737
- Who needs her whole fancy presentation
- 1733
- 01:03:03,821 --> 01:03:05,322
- and her board of directors?
- 1734
- 01:03:05,490 --> 01:03:07,699
- I make an honest living
- and I pay my taxes.
- 1735
- 01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:08,909
- Most of the time.
- 1736
- 01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:10,535
- Let me tell you something,
- Dom. I agree with you.
- 1737
- 01:03:10,703 --> 01:03:12,704
- I'm an American, too and I agree
- with your plight, brother.
- 1738
- 01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:13,830
- ZEKE: I second that.
- 1739
- 01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:15,248
- JEREMY: Yeah, we got your back.
- 1740
- 01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:17,042
- ZEKE: What's good with you, Mike? What up?
- 1741
- 01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:18,877
- So, how did it go between
- Candace and your mom?
- 1742
- 01:03:18,961 --> 01:03:20,170
- It was...
- 1743
- 01:03:20,254 --> 01:03:21,546
- CANDACE: I'm slowing things
- down with Michael.
- 1744
- 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:22,589
- LAUREN: Why?
- 1745
- 01:03:22,673 --> 01:03:24,508
- He already has a woman in his life.
- 1746
- 01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:26,426
- Oh, that son of a bitch. Who is it?
- 1747
- 01:03:26,594 --> 01:03:27,677
- His mama.
- 1748
- 01:03:27,762 --> 01:03:28,887
- What? Ew.
- 1749
- 01:03:28,971 --> 01:03:30,180
- Ew.
- 1750
- 01:03:32,016 --> 01:03:33,892
- My mom thinks she's nice.
- 1751
- 01:03:34,060 --> 01:03:35,143
- Yeah, right.
- 1752
- 01:03:35,228 --> 01:03:37,354
- No woman has ever been good
- enough for your mom.
- 1753
- 01:03:37,522 --> 01:03:40,398
- You think the first one she gonna
- root for is the baby mama?
- 1754
- 01:03:40,566 --> 01:03:42,359
- Good luck with that. CANDACE:
- Listen to this.
- 1755
- 01:03:42,527 --> 01:03:44,236
- "Could we reschedule beach day?
- 1756
- 01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,113
- "I promised to take my mom
- to choir practice."
- 1757
- 01:03:47,281 --> 01:03:48,657
- I can't do that to myself again,
- 1758
- 01:03:48,741 --> 01:03:50,075
- and I won't do that to Duke.
- 1759
- 01:03:50,243 --> 01:03:52,452
- We both deserve a man who's all in.
- 1760
- 01:03:52,620 --> 01:03:54,079
- Well, then set your standards.
- 1761
- 01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:55,372
- Oh, my God, I can't believe
- 1762
- 01:03:55,456 --> 01:03:57,249
- I'm quoting anything from
- that silly little book.
- 1763
- 01:03:57,416 --> 01:03:58,542
- You tell Michael
- 1764
- 01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:00,752
- that you don't want to come in
- between him and his mother
- 1765
- 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:03,129
- and that if he wants to
- continue dating you,
- 1766
- 01:04:03,297 --> 01:04:05,382
- then you must be a priority in his life.
- 1767
- 01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:07,884
- She's had him his whole life.
- I can't compete with that.
- 1768
- 01:04:08,052 --> 01:04:10,220
- Well, then dump the first man
- you've met in three years
- 1769
- 01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:13,390
- that genuinely cares about you and Duke.
- 1770
- 01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:15,976
- Oh! Wait a minute, there's no such
- thing as a perfect man, right?
- 1771
- 01:04:16,143 --> 01:04:17,435
- What do you have to lose?
- 1772
- 01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,437
- Isn't that what you've been
- preaching to me all night?
- 1773
- 01:04:19,730 --> 01:04:20,856
- Oh! Okay.
- 1774
- 01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:23,066
- I will if you will.
- 1775
- 01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:25,235
- CEDRIC: It was the darkest hour.
- 1776
- 01:04:25,736 --> 01:04:28,154
- The guys were under a full-scale attack.
- 1777
- 01:04:28,239 --> 01:04:30,657
- But everything changed on D-Day.
- 1778
- 01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:32,868
- ♪ That booty, that booty
- 1779
- 01:04:32,952 --> 01:04:34,786
- ♪ Baby, baby, shake it
- 1780
- 01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:37,330
- ♪ That booty, that booty, that booty
- 1781
- 01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:40,834
- ♪ That booty, that booty, that booty ♪
- 1782
- 01:04:40,918 --> 01:04:44,921
- Okay, tell me something. How does it
- feel to officially be a free man?
- 1783
- 01:04:45,089 --> 01:04:46,882
- Great. Okay, listen,
- 1784
- 01:04:46,966 --> 01:04:48,383
- I can do whatever I want... Okay.
- 1785
- 01:04:48,593 --> 01:04:51,344
- ...whenever I want, with
- whoever I want. Okay.
- 1786
- 01:04:51,512 --> 01:04:52,762
- I'm free from all the "tie-ranny"...
- 1787
- 01:04:52,930 --> 01:04:54,472
- It's "tyranny". Will you shut up, Bennett?
- 1788
- 01:04:54,599 --> 01:04:55,557
- Let him finish what he's saying!
- 1789
- 01:04:55,641 --> 01:04:56,975
- I just want you to have proper grammar.
- 1790
- 01:04:57,059 --> 01:04:59,436
- All right! I'm free from all
- the tyranny and oppression.
- 1791
- 01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,188
- And nagging from all women
- for good. You hear me?
- 1792
- 01:05:02,356 --> 01:05:05,108
- Matter of fact, only woman
- I want to talk to tonight
- 1793
- 01:05:05,276 --> 01:05:06,985
- is dancing butt-naked down
- at the Ass Factory.
- 1794
- 01:05:07,069 --> 01:05:08,028
- What happened to the Sweaty Crack?
- 1795
- 01:05:08,112 --> 01:05:10,322
- They got shut down. Health-code violations.
- JEREMY: Heard about that.
- 1796
- 01:05:10,406 --> 01:05:11,406
- (LAUGHING)
- 1797
- 01:05:11,490 --> 01:05:13,783
- But here's the thing, I like
- the Ass Factory better,
- 1798
- 01:05:13,951 --> 01:05:15,076
- 'cause the girls down there are nasty.
- 1799
- 01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:16,202
- But they're my kind of nasty.
- 1800
- 01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:17,329
- Ced! Ced.
- 1801
- 01:05:17,496 --> 01:05:19,956
- Don't judge me! I'm going
- through a divorce, homie.
- 1802
- 01:05:20,124 --> 01:05:22,042
- (CELL PHONE BEEPS) Hey, yo, Lauren
- confirmed our date tomorrow.
- 1803
- 01:05:22,209 --> 01:05:23,501
- I thought you and that Lauren was done.
- 1804
- 01:05:23,669 --> 01:05:25,045
- Why you all in the man's business?
- 1805
- 01:05:25,212 --> 01:05:26,630
- I thought my man said he
- was done with Lauren.
- 1806
- 01:05:26,797 --> 01:05:28,131
- You are whipped!
- 1807
- 01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:30,216
- He's worse than Mike. Chill with
- that "worse than Mike."
- 1808
- 01:05:30,384 --> 01:05:31,551
- You wanna hear a good story? No.
- 1809
- 01:05:31,636 --> 01:05:33,678
- Ced, tell them about the night
- you saved it with Gail.
- 1810
- 01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:35,472
- I'll take this goddamn bottle
- and knock your face off,
- 1811
- 01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:36,640
- you bring Gail up again.
- 1812
- 01:05:36,807 --> 01:05:38,391
- I don't wanna talk about Gail!
- 1813
- 01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:40,060
- All I want to talk about
- is titties and ass!
- 1814
- 01:05:40,144 --> 01:05:41,102
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- 1815
- 01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:43,438
- Yo, it's Candace. Should I take it?
- 1816
- 01:05:43,689 --> 01:05:46,149
- No, man! Here, give me the
- phone. Bros before hos.
- 1817
- 01:05:46,317 --> 01:05:47,859
- Hello. Candace. Oh.
- 1818
- 01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:50,028
- Hey, what's up, girl? Michael.
- 1819
- 01:05:50,112 --> 01:05:51,279
- I was just thinking 'bout you.
- 1820
- 01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:53,490
- No, hi, I thought I'd get your voicemail.
- 1821
- 01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:55,075
- No, you got me, baby.
- 1822
- 01:05:55,242 --> 01:05:56,493
- Listen, Michael.
- 1823
- 01:05:57,370 --> 01:05:58,662
- We need to talk.
- 1824
- 01:05:58,829 --> 01:06:00,956
- Ladies, few words are more menacing
- 1825
- 01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,708
- than the dreaded four, "We need to talk".
- 1826
- 01:06:04,001 --> 01:06:05,877
- Now, that means one of two things,
- 1827
- 01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:07,837
- that we did something wrong
- 1828
- 01:06:08,005 --> 01:06:12,217
- or, you, literally, want to talk.
- 1829
- 01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:15,095
- She wants to talk. BENNETT:
- That's a new one.
- 1830
- 01:06:15,179 --> 01:06:16,179
- That's bad, dude.
- 1831
- 01:06:16,263 --> 01:06:18,306
- Good! I hope she talk your damn head off.
- 1832
- 01:06:18,432 --> 01:06:20,266
- Is it ever a good sign when
- a woman wants to talk?
- 1833
- 01:06:20,434 --> 01:06:22,435
- No. Not in my house anymore.
- 1834
- 01:06:22,603 --> 01:06:24,604
- Kris used to be fun and chill,
- 1835
- 01:06:24,689 --> 01:06:26,523
- and now she's just in
- my face all the time,
- 1836
- 01:06:26,691 --> 01:06:29,526
- nagging, harping, like, "What
- are your short-term goals?
- 1837
- 01:06:29,694 --> 01:06:31,069
- "What are your long-term goals?
- 1838
- 01:06:31,153 --> 01:06:33,029
- "Jeremy, what's your view
- on relationships?"
- 1839
- 01:06:33,197 --> 01:06:34,698
- Like, I'm in the middle of
- a game of Call ofDuty...
- 1840
- 01:06:34,865 --> 01:06:36,950
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, run that back.
- What did you just say?
- 1841
- 01:06:37,034 --> 01:06:38,910
- What, the long-term goals, short...
- Please, don't make
- 1842
- 01:06:39,036 --> 01:06:40,537
- me repeat... Yes, that's
- crazy. You know what?
- 1843
- 01:06:40,621 --> 01:06:43,373
- Candace asked me those exact same
- questions on our first date.
- 1844
- 01:06:43,541 --> 01:06:44,874
- Mya asked me the same thing.
- 1845
- 01:06:45,042 --> 01:06:46,126
- So did Lauren.
- 1846
- 01:06:46,252 --> 01:06:48,420
- You know what? You know who
- asked me that question?
- 1847
- 01:06:49,088 --> 01:06:50,797
- Not a goddamn soul!
- 1848
- 01:06:50,881 --> 01:06:52,465
- 'Cause strippers don't ask me shit!
- 1849
- 01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:54,175
- Listen to what she said
- to me the other day.
- 1850
- 01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:55,510
- She said, "I'm not your sports fish."
- 1851
- 01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:56,761
- What is a sports fish?
- 1852
- 01:06:56,929 --> 01:06:59,139
- A trophy girl. You show her
- off to your buddies.
- 1853
- 01:06:59,306 --> 01:07:01,141
- What the hell are you talking
- about, Bennett?
- 1854
- 01:07:01,225 --> 01:07:02,225
- I was watching Oprah.
- 1855
- 01:07:02,309 --> 01:07:03,852
- Why are you watching Oprah? I like Oprah.
- 1856
- 01:07:03,936 --> 01:07:06,521
- Man, you gotta say "no homo" when you say
- shit like that at a divorce party.
- 1857
- 01:07:06,605 --> 01:07:07,731
- BENNETT: She had Steve Harvey on the show.
- 1858
- 01:07:07,815 --> 01:07:09,149
- He wrote some book.
- 1859
- 01:07:09,233 --> 01:07:10,734
- It's for women, but it's about men.
- 1860
- 01:07:10,901 --> 01:07:12,110
- Family Feud Steve Harvey?
- 1861
- 01:07:12,194 --> 01:07:13,278
- I heard something about that.
- 1862
- 01:07:13,362 --> 01:07:14,487
- He threw us under the bus like that?
- 1863
- 01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:15,780
- That's uncouth. I wouldn't do that.
- 1864
- 01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,240
- I thought Steve Harvey was
- kind of my nigga, but...
- 1865
- 01:07:17,324 --> 01:07:18,491
- Me, too. What?
- 1866
- 01:07:18,659 --> 01:07:20,243
- You, too, what? I didn't say anything.
- 1867
- 01:07:20,411 --> 01:07:23,038
- Just tell me exactly what
- he says in the book.
- 1868
- 01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:24,247
- A whole bunch of shit.
- 1869
- 01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:26,416
- All right, this is why we're
- ruining my party.
- 1870
- 01:07:26,500 --> 01:07:27,751
- 'Cause of that information.
- 1871
- 01:07:27,918 --> 01:07:30,587
- I got it online, here we
- go. I got a review...
- 1872
- 01:07:30,755 --> 01:07:31,963
- I got to get my hands on that book.
- 1873
- 01:07:32,131 --> 01:07:33,465
- No, you're not gonna do it now.
- 1874
- 01:07:33,632 --> 01:07:35,759
- You said bros before hos. One second.
- 1875
- 01:07:35,926 --> 01:07:37,677
- Exactly! Guess what? Your bro need a ho!
- 1876
- 01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:39,387
- Let me tell you something, I
- got a pocket full of ones
- 1877
- 01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:40,764
- and I ain't got no goddamn drawers on.
- 1878
- 01:07:40,931 --> 01:07:42,015
- I didn't wear no drawers tonight.
- 1879
- 01:07:42,099 --> 01:07:43,349
- Now y'all supposed to be my wing men.
- 1880
- 01:07:43,434 --> 01:07:44,434
- Right now, fly with me!
- 1881
- 01:07:44,602 --> 01:07:48,772
- Celebrate, men! Get your... Fly
- with me, men! Goddamn it!
- 1882
- 01:07:49,106 --> 01:07:50,106
- This ain't good.
- 1883
- 01:07:50,274 --> 01:07:51,858
- Yes, hello, we're looking
- for a book called...
- 1884
- 01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:55,445
- Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.
- 1885
- 01:07:55,529 --> 01:07:57,363
- Everywhere? Thanks.
- 1886
- 01:07:58,032 --> 01:07:59,991
- Said they've been sold
- out for, like, a week.
- 1887
- 01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:01,367
- Good. Can't be sold out everywhere.
- 1888
- 01:08:01,535 --> 01:08:02,535
- They don't even have it on eBay.
- 1889
- 01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:03,620
- It's the power of Oprah.
- 1890
- 01:08:03,704 --> 01:08:06,456
- I think I got something. Okay,
- cool. Where's San Pablo?
- 1891
- 01:08:06,540 --> 01:08:07,624
- Border of Oregon.
- 1892
- 01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:08,958
- That's not gonna work.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- 1893
- 01:08:09,126 --> 01:08:10,960
- Looks like we tried. Hello. Right now?
- 1894
- 01:08:11,045 --> 01:08:12,253
- Tomorrow is another day.
- We can tackle it then.
- 1895
- 01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:13,338
- Let's go, men. Strip club time!
- 1896
- 01:08:13,422 --> 01:08:14,464
- Y'all take me to my mama house?
- 1897
- 01:08:14,548 --> 01:08:15,632
- Driver, can we go to my house?
- 1898
- 01:08:15,716 --> 01:08:17,467
- I thought you said you was gonna
- cancel that with your mama.
- 1899
- 01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:19,177
- Have you ever tried canceling
- on my mom, Ced?
- 1900
- 01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:22,013
- I'm gonna say this since don't nobody
- else wanna say it, Michael.
- 1901
- 01:08:22,848 --> 01:08:24,849
- You ever try heterosexuality?
- 1902
- 01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:26,392
- (BOTH ARGUING)
- 1903
- 01:08:27,186 --> 01:08:28,478
- (BOTTLE SHATTERS)
- 1904
- 01:08:28,562 --> 01:08:31,439
- ♪ That booty, that booty
- That booty, that booty ♪
- 1905
- 01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:32,649
- Mom!
- 1906
- 01:08:33,317 --> 01:08:34,859
- (WHOOPS)
- 1907
- 01:08:35,569 --> 01:08:36,736
- Got your favorite.
- 1908
- 01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:38,530
- Smelling good, too. Look at that, huh?
- 1909
- 01:08:38,697 --> 01:08:41,157
- Let me get some chicken. Let me
- get some chicken! (LAUGHING)
- 1910
- 01:08:41,325 --> 01:08:42,575
- Stop. And the onions,
- 1911
- 01:08:42,660 --> 01:08:44,536
- you know I love the sautéed
- onions, and the cornbread.
- 1912
- 01:08:44,703 --> 01:08:46,037
- I know. I'm gonna get you a plate,
- 1913
- 01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:47,497
- but clear all this off, first.
- 1914
- 01:08:47,665 --> 01:08:48,706
- All right, all right.
- 1915
- 01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:50,834
- And make sure that sweet potato pie...
- 1916
- 01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:53,878
- LORETTA: I will, little boy,
- you just clear the counter.
- 1917
- 01:08:54,213 --> 01:08:55,672
- Mom, what is this?
- 1918
- 01:08:56,173 --> 01:08:58,133
- That's that book by that big-head boy
- 1919
- 01:08:58,217 --> 01:09:00,176
- that's on that Family Feud thing.
- 1920
- 01:09:00,344 --> 01:09:02,011
- Act Like something, Think
- Like something else.
- 1921
- 01:09:02,179 --> 01:09:03,221
- It's the new read for my book club.
- 1922
- 01:09:03,347 --> 01:09:05,056
- CEDRIC: Every war has its turning point.
- 1923
- 01:09:05,432 --> 01:09:08,560
- In the Civil War, it was the
- Battle of Gettysburg.
- 1924
- 01:09:10,104 --> 01:09:11,271
- World War Il,
- 1925
- 01:09:11,355 --> 01:09:13,022
- it was the Invasion of Normandy.
- 1926
- 01:09:14,525 --> 01:09:16,401
- The definitive turning point in this war
- 1927
- 01:09:16,485 --> 01:09:17,735
- was that night at Loretta's house.
- 1928
- 01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,112
- It was like finding the Holy Grail.
- 1929
- 01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:22,115
- Jeremy. Tell them to turn the bus around.
- 1930
- 01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:23,992
- CEDRIC: The power had just
- shifted in our favor.
- 1931
- 01:09:24,076 --> 01:09:25,285
- But we didn't know that yet.
- 1932
- 01:09:25,452 --> 01:09:27,203
- "Why Men Do What They Do."
- Look at this, guys.
- 1933
- 01:09:27,371 --> 01:09:28,872
- Steve Harvey is a traitor.
- 1934
- 01:09:29,039 --> 01:09:31,624
- Hey, look, "Mama's Boys."
- Chapter 7. That's you.
- 1935
- 01:09:31,792 --> 01:09:32,876
- I'm not a Mama's Boy.
- 1936
- 01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,210
- Jer, you don't think I'm
- a Mama's Boy, do you?
- 1937
- 01:09:34,378 --> 01:09:35,712
- Nah. ZEKE: Listen to this.
- 1938
- 01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,297
- "Men respect standards, get some."
- 1939
- 01:09:37,381 --> 01:09:38,882
- I prefer my women not to have standards.
- 1940
- 01:09:38,966 --> 01:09:40,133
- In fact, if I've got to choose,
- 1941
- 01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:41,843
- I'm gonna choose the woman
- who has no standards.
- 1942
- 01:09:41,927 --> 01:09:44,596
- Hold up. "Until a man achieves his
- goals, or is on the road to,
- 1943
- 01:09:44,763 --> 01:09:46,806
- "you will never be number
- one in his life."
- 1944
- 01:09:46,974 --> 01:09:48,308
- See, that's not even true.
- 1945
- 01:09:48,475 --> 01:09:50,059
- I've achieved absolutely nothing
- 1946
- 01:09:50,144 --> 01:09:51,477
- and I still put my women first.
- 1947
- 01:09:51,645 --> 01:09:53,396
- This is sick. It's brainwashing,
- I'm telling you.
- 1948
- 01:09:53,564 --> 01:09:55,523
- She's trying to push me towards my dreams
- 1949
- 01:09:55,608 --> 01:09:57,192
- and help me accomplish my goals.
- 1950
- 01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:58,526
- Why would she do this?
- 1951
- 01:09:58,611 --> 01:09:59,944
- Shit, at least you're getting some.
- 1952
- 01:10:00,404 --> 01:10:01,821
- Ninety days, that's not a probation,
- 1953
- 01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:03,072
- that's a death sentence.
- 1954
- 01:10:03,157 --> 01:10:04,449
- CEDRIC: Hell, yeah, I want
- to taste your yams.
- 1955
- 01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:06,826
- Hey, Mike, how old is your mom?
- 1956
- 01:10:06,911 --> 01:10:07,952
- What?
- 1957
- 01:10:08,245 --> 01:10:09,412
- No, not like that.
- 1958
- 01:10:09,496 --> 01:10:11,623
- No, it is. It is like
- that. How old is she?
- 1959
- 01:10:11,707 --> 01:10:14,083
- I come in the house, she's like, "You
- want to eat?" I said, "Eat what?"
- 1960
- 01:10:14,168 --> 01:10:15,585
- Yo, first of all, put my plate down
- 1961
- 01:10:15,669 --> 01:10:16,794
- and stop hitting on my mom, man.
- 1962
- 01:10:16,921 --> 01:10:18,463
- Don't get mad at me! I don't
- even wanna be here.
- 1963
- 01:10:18,547 --> 01:10:20,590
- Y'all the ones that wanna be here,
- I want to go to the strip club!
- 1964
- 01:10:20,841 --> 01:10:21,925
- Man, wrap this up.
- 1965
- 01:10:22,009 --> 01:10:24,177
- I got a bunch of ones, and
- somebody gonna get them.
- 1966
- 01:10:24,345 --> 01:10:27,931
- Ms. Loretta! I'm ready for
- the rest of the tour.
- 1967
- 01:10:30,476 --> 01:10:32,227
- You guys are so screwed.
- 1968
- 01:10:32,311 --> 01:10:34,270
- And honestly, there's nothing
- you can do about it.
- 1969
- 01:10:34,438 --> 01:10:35,480
- Maybe we can.
- 1970
- 01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,148
- They got our playbook, man.
- 1971
- 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:38,691
- They know all of our maneuvers.
- 1972
- 01:10:38,859 --> 01:10:40,818
- Yeah, but they don't know
- 1973
- 01:10:40,903 --> 01:10:42,779
- that we know that they know our maneuvers.
- 1974
- 01:10:42,947 --> 01:10:44,530
- You see why I don't hang out
- with Jeremy by himself?
- 1975
- 01:10:44,615 --> 01:10:45,949
- I don't ever know what he's talking about.
- 1976
- 01:10:46,116 --> 01:10:47,825
- Guys! It's like the Patriots,
- 1977
- 01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:50,203
- when Bill Belichick stole the Jets' plays.
- 1978
- 01:10:50,371 --> 01:10:52,372
- Right, and they got busted. Yeah,
- but they won the game.
- 1979
- 01:10:52,539 --> 01:10:55,375
- And where'd they end up? The Super Bowl.
- 1980
- 01:10:55,542 --> 01:10:56,960
- I wish I knew what you was talking about.
- 1981
- 01:10:57,127 --> 01:10:59,128
- We use Steve Harvey's words against them.
- 1982
- 01:10:59,296 --> 01:11:00,755
- We pretend to give them what they want
- 1983
- 01:11:00,839 --> 01:11:02,173
- so we get what we want.
- 1984
- 01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:03,549
- We lie to them.
- 1985
- 01:11:04,134 --> 01:11:05,343
- Exactly.
- 1986
- 01:11:05,427 --> 01:11:08,137
- This is war, gentlemen.
- There are no rules.
- 1987
- 01:11:08,305 --> 01:11:10,974
- CEDRIC: Like the great Khan
- once said, not Genghis,
- 1988
- 01:11:11,141 --> 01:11:13,309
- I'm talking about the Latin
- guy from Star Trek Il.
- 1989
- 01:11:13,477 --> 01:11:15,812
- "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
- 1990
- 01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:18,481
- CANDACE: Michael, I need to
- get something off my chest.
- 1991
- 01:11:18,649 --> 01:11:20,817
- You know what? Before you get
- something off your chest,
- 1992
- 01:11:20,901 --> 01:11:22,652
- I gotta get something off my chest.
- 1993
- 01:11:22,820 --> 01:11:24,737
- You know I can be a bit of a Mama's Boy?
- 1994
- 01:11:25,489 --> 01:11:27,824
- I think it really all started
- when my dad died.
- 1995
- 01:11:29,493 --> 01:11:31,536
- It was a rough time for us, you know?
- 1996
- 01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:35,248
- And my mom just started relying
- on me for so many things.
- 1997
- 01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:36,666
- Too many things.
- 1998
- 01:11:37,543 --> 01:11:39,419
- You know, I had to be the man of the house
- 1999
- 01:11:39,503 --> 01:11:41,045
- at a really young age
- 2000
- 01:11:41,213 --> 01:11:42,714
- and I guess maybe that's
- why we're so close.
- 2001
- 01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:43,840
- Michael.
- 2002
- 01:11:44,174 --> 01:11:46,217
- And I guess, I guess what I'm
- trying to say is this.
- 2003
- 01:11:47,845 --> 01:11:50,680
- I want you to be the number
- one woman in my life.
- 2004
- 01:11:50,848 --> 01:11:51,931
- CEDRIC: It was like taking a test
- 2005
- 01:11:52,016 --> 01:11:53,308
- you already had the answers to.
- 2006
- 01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:56,686
- You're my priority, Candace. All right?
- 2007
- 01:11:56,937 --> 01:11:58,021
- Yeah.
- 2008
- 01:11:58,230 --> 01:12:00,898
- All right. Now, you said you wanted
- to talk about something.
- 2009
- 01:12:02,651 --> 01:12:03,735
- Did I?
- 2010
- 01:12:04,194 --> 01:12:05,862
- CEDRIC: The women had no chance.
- 2011
- 01:12:05,946 --> 01:12:08,114
- They were like putty in our hands.
- 2012
- 01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:12,910
- So, I just updated my résumé,
- and sent it off to Neversoft.
- 2013
- 01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:14,912
- Really? Mmm-hmm.
- 2014
- 01:12:15,039 --> 01:12:16,122
- You're serious?
- 2015
- 01:12:16,206 --> 01:12:17,874
- I was intrigued by a job posting
- 2016
- 01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:19,542
- I saw in Adweek and I thought,
- 2017
- 01:12:19,710 --> 01:12:20,918
- "Why not go for it, Jeremy?
- 2018
- 01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:22,378
- "You have nothing else to lose."
- 2019
- 01:12:22,546 --> 01:12:24,213
- Baby, that's awesome, that's wonderful.
- 2020
- 01:12:24,298 --> 01:12:25,882
- I'm so proud of you.
- 2021
- 01:12:26,091 --> 01:12:27,717
- Oh, my God. Don't get too excited, okay?
- 2022
- 01:12:27,885 --> 01:12:29,093
- It's just a feeler.
- 2023
- 01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:30,720
- Probably won't even call me in.
- 2024
- 01:12:30,888 --> 01:12:32,263
- No, you're selling yourself short.
- 2025
- 01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:34,307
- Jeremy, you were the best
- in your class at Parsons,
- 2026
- 01:12:34,391 --> 01:12:35,892
- you're a brilliant designer.
- 2027
- 01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,895
- No. You're a brilliant artist.
- They'd be lucky to have you.
- 2028
- 01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:40,772
- I'm lucky to have you.
- 2029
- 01:12:42,316 --> 01:12:43,649
- You are? Mmm-hmm.
- 2030
- 01:12:45,486 --> 01:12:46,652
- You know what I was just thinking?
- 2031
- 01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:47,779
- What?
- 2032
- 01:12:47,905 --> 01:12:49,572
- Nobody's had sex on this couch yet.
- 2033
- 01:12:49,907 --> 01:12:50,990
- What?
- 2034
- 01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:52,909
- No, it's a virgin couch. Really?
- 2035
- 01:12:52,993 --> 01:12:53,993
- Mmm-hmm.
- 2036
- 01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:55,328
- What do you think we should do about that?
- 2037
- 01:12:55,496 --> 01:12:57,121
- There's about 10 things I think
- we can do about that.
- 2038
- 01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:58,247
- Only 10?
- 2039
- 01:12:58,582 --> 01:13:00,583
- You'll be crying out like
- a bitch after three.
- 2040
- 01:13:00,751 --> 01:13:02,085
- Now I'm scared.
- 2041
- 01:13:02,294 --> 01:13:03,461
- I love this couch.
- 2042
- 01:13:03,629 --> 01:13:04,921
- CEDRIC: After careful study,
- 2043
- 01:13:05,005 --> 01:13:06,839
- Dominic realized there was only one man
- 2044
- 01:13:06,924 --> 01:13:08,257
- who could impress the Alpha Female.
- 2045
- 01:13:08,425 --> 01:13:10,134
- "The Guy With Potential." Zeke.
- 2046
- 01:13:10,302 --> 01:13:12,345
- What? I have to show her
- I'm a man with a plan.
- 2047
- 01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,180
- Well, just make some shit up, dude. No.
- 2048
- 01:13:14,348 --> 01:13:15,807
- Remember that restaurant idea I had? Yeah.
- 2049
- 01:13:15,974 --> 01:13:17,767
- I need you to help me
- with a business plan.
- 2050
- 01:13:17,935 --> 01:13:19,602
- Cook for her. Dummy.
- 2051
- 01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:21,938
- I already did. Breakfast.
- 2052
- 01:13:22,106 --> 01:13:23,981
- I ain't talking about no breakfast, boy!
- 2053
- 01:13:24,066 --> 01:13:25,525
- Something fancy, Dom.
- 2054
- 01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:29,362
- Like, like one of them dishes
- with an apostrophe in it.
- 2055
- 01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:30,613
- Is that your robe?
- 2056
- 01:13:31,448 --> 01:13:32,490
- ZEKE: Yeah.
- 2057
- 01:13:32,616 --> 01:13:33,616
- Man, you here again?
- 2058
- 01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:37,453
- Yes! Ass Factory don't open up 'til
- 10:00, so I got time to waste.
- 2059
- 01:13:37,621 --> 01:13:39,580
- Bitch, move in already. What'd you say?
- 2060
- 01:13:39,665 --> 01:13:40,706
- Huh?
- 2061
- 01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:41,958
- I'm sorry if I want to
- be around my friends
- 2062
- 01:13:42,042 --> 01:13:43,459
- when I'm going through a divorce.
- 2063
- 01:13:43,544 --> 01:13:44,710
- What was I thinking?
- 2064
- 01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,170
- You're something else, boy.
- 2065
- 01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:49,257
- Look, Gail used to love it when I would
- cook for her. It turned her on.
- 2066
- 01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,092
- You can do all types of
- things in the kitchen.
- 2067
- 01:13:51,260 --> 01:13:52,802
- We had a little food thing
- that we would do.
- 2068
- 01:13:52,970 --> 01:13:55,221
- I would go and get some chocolate-covered
- strawberries, right?
- 2069
- 01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:58,433
- Then I would come downstairs,
- I have a G-string on.
- 2070
- 01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:00,935
- You know what I'm talking about.
- She used to love it.
- 2071
- 01:14:01,103 --> 01:14:04,147
- So, the game was "Balance the Berry."
- 2072
- 01:14:05,357 --> 01:14:06,691
- I would put it on the...
- 2073
- 01:14:07,651 --> 01:14:08,734
- But the way it's...
- 2074
- 01:14:10,195 --> 01:14:11,571
- The berry ain't gonna stay there for long.
- 2075
- 01:14:11,655 --> 01:14:13,322
- The berry wouldn't stay on, so...
- 2076
- 01:14:15,325 --> 01:14:18,161
- The point that I'm making is this, Dom.
- 2077
- 01:14:18,328 --> 01:14:20,997
- Food is your art. Stick
- with what you know.
- 2078
- 01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:22,999
- Mmm.
- 2079
- 01:14:23,417 --> 01:14:24,459
- It's good milk, Zeke.
- 2080
- 01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:27,587
- He's right.
- 2081
- 01:14:29,798 --> 01:14:30,840
- It's on.
- 2082
- 01:14:30,966 --> 01:14:32,341
- LAUREN: It's over. CANDACE:
- Wait, what happened?
- 2083
- 01:14:32,509 --> 01:14:34,552
- Dominic's car broke down.
- 2084
- 01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,262
- I have to go pick him up?
- 2085
- 01:14:36,430 --> 01:14:37,430
- So? Calm down.
- 2086
- 01:14:37,514 --> 01:14:39,932
- Do you know how many times I had to pick
- you up when your Jag broke down?
- 2087
- 01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:41,100
- Oh, save it, Candace.
- 2088
- 01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:42,602
- The man is a loser.
- 2089
- 01:14:42,686 --> 01:14:44,270
- And I'm the fool who slept with him.
- 2090
- 01:14:44,354 --> 01:14:45,521
- On the first night.
- 2091
- 01:14:45,689 --> 01:14:46,939
- Which is a memory
- 2092
- 01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:49,400
- he will have to cherish for
- the rest of his life
- 2093
- 01:14:49,568 --> 01:14:53,404
- because it is never happening
- again. Never.
- 2094
- 01:14:57,409 --> 01:14:58,451
- Hey, beautiful.
- 2095
- 01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:01,204
- Dominic.
- 2096
- 01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:04,499
- (TONIGHT (BEST YOU EVER
- HAD) PLAYING SOFTLY)
- 2097
- 01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:06,000
- DOMINIC: You look beautiful.
- 2098
- 01:15:06,168 --> 01:15:08,002
- Yeah, you've mentioned that.
- 2099
- 01:15:09,546 --> 01:15:11,255
- Would you like a glass of wine?
- 2100
- 01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:12,548
- Actually, I came over here...
- 2101
- 01:15:12,716 --> 01:15:14,967
- It's a Chateau Montelena, 2006.
- 2102
- 01:15:18,138 --> 01:15:22,475
- That won first place in the Judgment
- of Paris back in '76.
- 2103
- 01:15:22,643 --> 01:15:25,394
- Actually, it was a '73
- Chardonnay that won,
- 2104
- 01:15:25,562 --> 01:15:27,855
- but I've heard this one is better.
- 2105
- 01:15:28,524 --> 01:15:29,565
- It was a gift.
- 2106
- 01:15:30,442 --> 01:15:33,528
- But I wanted to save it
- for a special occasion.
- 2107
- 01:15:34,780 --> 01:15:36,197
- Well, thank you.
- 2108
- 01:15:39,409 --> 01:15:40,451
- So, um,
- 2109
- 01:15:41,828 --> 01:15:42,870
- to tonight.
- 2110
- 01:15:44,706 --> 01:15:45,748
- Yeah.
- 2111
- 01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:51,295
- Oh, my God.
- 2112
- 01:15:51,463 --> 01:15:52,880
- This is good.
- 2113
- 01:15:53,840 --> 01:15:55,633
- Yeah, there's more.
- 2114
- 01:15:55,884 --> 01:15:59,220
- ♪ Best you ever had
- 2115
- 01:16:00,097 --> 01:16:04,350
- ♪ I don't wanna brag but I'll be
- 2116
- 01:16:04,434 --> 01:16:05,476
- Wow.
- 2117
- 01:16:06,103 --> 01:16:09,939
- ♪ The best you ever had
- 2118
- 01:16:10,899 --> 01:16:12,775
- You did all this for me?
- 2119
- 01:16:16,780 --> 01:16:20,324
- ♪ The best you ever had
- 2120
- 01:16:20,617 --> 01:16:23,035
- ♪ I hit you with the best throw
- 2121
- 01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:24,870
- ♪ Freestyle and the breaststroke
- 2122
- 01:16:25,789 --> 01:16:27,206
- ♪ Till you blowing cigarette smoke
- 2123
- 01:16:27,291 --> 01:16:28,499
- (CLEARS THROAT) Good evening, madam.
- 2124
- 01:16:29,459 --> 01:16:30,585
- Wild...
- 2125
- 01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:32,253
- Goddamn. Man...
- 2126
- 01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:34,255
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- 2127
- 01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:36,966
- Wild Mushroom en "Croût"?
- 2128
- 01:16:38,260 --> 01:16:39,302
- BOTH: Croûte.
- 2129
- 01:16:39,636 --> 01:16:40,636
- Croûte?
- 2130
- 01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,055
- Thank you.
- 2131
- 01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:45,349
- Enjoy your dinner. Thanks.
- 2132
- 01:16:45,726 --> 01:16:50,313
- ♪ Baby, tonight's the
- night we lose control
- 2133
- 01:16:50,981 --> 01:16:55,651
- I really wanted to change your association
- of me with hors d'oeuvres.
- 2134
- 01:16:56,862 --> 01:16:58,154
- So, what do you think?
- 2135
- 01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:00,323
- Amazing.
- 2136
- 01:17:02,492 --> 01:17:03,826
- So are you.
- 2137
- 01:17:04,870 --> 01:17:06,078
- Thank you.
- 2138
- 01:17:08,999 --> 01:17:10,958
- And look at the stars.
- 2139
- 01:17:11,627 --> 01:17:13,044
- Make a wish.
- 2140
- 01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:18,090
- Okay.
- 2141
- 01:17:23,805 --> 01:17:25,389
- Aren't you gonna make one?
- 2142
- 01:17:29,394 --> 01:17:30,686
- No need.
- 2143
- 01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:36,692
- ♪ Baby, tonight you need that
- 2144
- 01:17:36,777 --> 01:17:39,445
- ♪ Tonight believe that
- 2145
- 01:17:39,529 --> 01:17:45,868
- ♪ Tonight I'll be the best you ever had ♪
- 2146
- 01:17:45,952 --> 01:17:47,328
- CEDRIC: And on that same night,
- 2147
- 01:17:47,412 --> 01:17:49,246
- Zeke was on an entirely different
- kind of mission.
- 2148
- 01:17:49,414 --> 01:17:51,123
- Dude, don't tell me what I
- said. I know what I said.
- 2149
- 01:17:51,291 --> 01:17:53,209
- But I'm telling you, I'm
- done with her. What?
- 2150
- 01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:55,127
- I'm not competing with this 90-Day Rule.
- 2151
- 01:17:55,295 --> 01:17:56,629
- You have the ammo.
- 2152
- 01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:58,464
- KRISTEN: Babe, I'm going upstairs.
- 2153
- 01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:02,551
- All right, listen.
- 2154
- 01:18:02,719 --> 01:18:07,473
- Use "how men show their love" against
- her to get the cookie.
- 2155
- 01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:09,225
- You profess. Call her your girlfriend.
- 2156
- 01:18:09,393 --> 01:18:11,102
- Bro, stop it. Do you have any
- idea what I've been through?
- 2157
- 01:18:11,269 --> 01:18:13,813
- I'm sick of picking up checks
- and opening doors,
- 2158
- 01:18:13,980 --> 01:18:16,023
- and talking about our feelings
- and our childhoods.
- 2159
- 01:18:16,191 --> 01:18:17,942
- It's like the 1950s, man!
- I just want to hit.
- 2160
- 01:18:18,110 --> 01:18:20,778
- And if she thinks I'm gonna wait 71
- more days just to get the cookie,
- 2161
- 01:18:20,946 --> 01:18:22,905
- oh, she gonna be waiting by
- herself. You kept count?
- 2162
- 01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:25,658
- I'm not counting, but you're gonna
- know the amount of day...
- 2163
- 01:18:25,826 --> 01:18:26,992
- You really like her.
- 2164
- 01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:29,161
- No, bro, trust me on this.
- I am done, okay?
- 2165
- 01:18:29,329 --> 01:18:30,496
- I'm ending it tonight.
- 2166
- 01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:32,123
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah, have fun on your date.
- 2167
- 01:18:32,290 --> 01:18:34,125
- I bet you I dump her 90-day ass.
- 2168
- 01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:36,877
- Hey. Hey.
- 2169
- 01:18:37,629 --> 01:18:38,796
- Listen. Um...
- 2170
- 01:18:39,131 --> 01:18:40,423
- Mya, about tonight...
- 2171
- 01:18:40,590 --> 01:18:41,632
- Okay, I have a surprise.
- 2172
- 01:18:42,092 --> 01:18:43,134
- You do?
- 2173
- 01:18:43,301 --> 01:18:46,303
- Yeah, I got us tickets to see
- John Legend at Nokia Theatre.
- 2174
- 01:18:48,348 --> 01:18:50,725
- Okay, that's cool.
- 2175
- 01:18:51,017 --> 01:18:52,059
- Yeah.
- 2176
- 01:18:52,644 --> 01:18:54,729
- Okay. Okay. So, let's go.
- 2177
- 01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:04,697
- So, I hope you don't get mad at me,
- 2178
- 01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:08,242
- but my uncle is a music producer
- and I passed him your CD.
- 2179
- 01:19:08,410 --> 01:19:09,452
- You took my CD?
- 2180
- 01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,747
- Yes. And the three pieces of
- gum that were stuck to it.
- 2181
- 01:19:12,914 --> 01:19:15,166
- Okay, you know what? I was
- looking for that gum.
- 2182
- 01:19:15,333 --> 01:19:19,170
- You know I'm done with the music industry,
- right? I love what I do.
- 2183
- 01:19:19,337 --> 01:19:21,672
- Okay, Zeke, he's not trying
- to sign you, though.
- 2184
- 01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:24,300
- He wants some new songs for some
- albums that he's working on.
- 2185
- 01:19:24,468 --> 01:19:27,178
- Yeah, well, my album went Plat-none, okay?
- 2186
- 01:19:27,345 --> 01:19:29,346
- I mean, two people heard it and
- both of them were relatives.
- 2187
- 01:19:29,514 --> 01:19:31,599
- Okay, but I was raving about it,
- 2188
- 01:19:31,683 --> 01:19:33,267
- and he decided to check it out.
- 2189
- 01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:35,936
- You should've been my manager.
- 2190
- 01:19:36,313 --> 01:19:37,313
- (CHUCKLES)
- 2191
- 01:19:37,522 --> 01:19:39,356
- Oh! Zeke!
- 2192
- 01:19:39,566 --> 01:19:42,526
- Super Freak Zeke! What up, baby?
- 2193
- 01:19:42,694 --> 01:19:44,695
- Man, hey, what's up...
- Xavier! What up, baby.
- 2194
- 01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,238
- Oh, my goodness. Baby, this is Zeke.
- 2195
- 01:19:46,323 --> 01:19:48,157
- This is the guy that taught me the move.
- 2196
- 01:19:48,325 --> 01:19:49,867
- The Chimichanga! He was
- the one who taught me.
- 2197
- 01:19:50,035 --> 01:19:51,410
- Hey, this is my lady, Crystal.
- 2198
- 01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:53,662
- Hey, what's going on, Crystal?
- How you doing?
- 2199
- 01:19:55,373 --> 01:19:57,833
- Oh, my bad. Xavier, this is...
- 2200
- 01:19:59,252 --> 01:20:02,505
- Now ladies, if a man simply introduces
- you as his friend,
- 2201
- 01:20:02,672 --> 01:20:05,424
- then please understand, you are
- nothing more than his friend.
- 2202
- 01:20:05,592 --> 01:20:09,220
- See, if a man has a plan for you in his
- future, then he's gonna profess it.
- 2203
- 01:20:09,387 --> 01:20:11,096
- He's gonna attach a title to it.
- 2204
- 01:20:11,264 --> 01:20:16,143
- You're gonna be his woman, his
- lady, his fiancée, or...
- 2205
- 01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,480
- My girlfriend, Mya.
- 2206
- 01:20:21,733 --> 01:20:24,109
- CEDRIC: Zeke realized the man could
- get a hell of a lot further,
- 2207
- 01:20:24,277 --> 01:20:28,405
- with one well-placed profession than
- with six carefully planned dates.
- 2208
- 01:20:35,705 --> 01:20:36,705
- (GASPS)
- 2209
- 01:20:36,790 --> 01:20:37,915
- Oh, my God.
- 2210
- 01:20:39,251 --> 01:20:40,292
- I think we should stop.
- 2211
- 01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,671
- I have to get up early.
- 2212
- 01:20:44,005 --> 01:20:46,298
- So, I better go.
- 2213
- 01:20:47,217 --> 01:20:48,467
- Okay.
- 2214
- 01:20:48,760 --> 01:20:49,927
- Good night!
- 2215
- 01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:53,013
- Well, I could walk you
- to... (CAR DOOR SLAMS)
- 2216
- 01:20:53,181 --> 01:20:55,599
- Oh, no, I got this. I'm good, good night!
- 2217
- 01:20:56,184 --> 01:20:59,478
- CEDRIC: The guys may have lost some battles,
- but they were winning the war.
- 2218
- 01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:01,438
- I'm telling you, Gina. It worked.
- 2219
- 01:21:01,606 --> 01:21:04,108
- He's finally stepping up and
- looking for a better job.
- 2220
- 01:21:04,276 --> 01:21:06,443
- Family Feud knows what he's talking about?
- 2221
- 01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:07,570
- Changing the game.
- 2222
- 01:21:07,904 --> 01:21:09,905
- SONIA: How does this affect
- the 90-Day Rule?
- 2223
- 01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:12,116
- The 90-Day Rule is what
- got me to this point.
- 2224
- 01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:15,202
- It's just, I was saying that I'm
- not opposed to amending it,
- 2225
- 01:21:15,370 --> 01:21:16,662
- you know, for good behavior.
- 2226
- 01:21:16,830 --> 01:21:18,998
- Like changing his Facebook status?
- 2227
- 01:21:19,165 --> 01:21:21,125
- Yeah, see, that's good behavior,
- 2228
- 01:21:21,293 --> 01:21:22,835
- but the cookies don't come
- out of the cookie jar
- 2229
- 01:21:22,919 --> 01:21:24,753
- for anything less than
- the three magic words.
- 2230
- 01:21:24,921 --> 01:21:27,673
- I hope you guys are ready
- for some fun in the sun.
- 2231
- 01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:29,133
- Oh, yeah, some fun in the sun.
- 2232
- 01:21:29,301 --> 01:21:30,342
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- 2233
- 01:21:30,427 --> 01:21:32,803
- Oh, wait. Baby, should you
- get that? It's work.
- 2234
- 01:21:33,388 --> 01:21:34,471
- Yeah, it's okay.
- 2235
- 01:21:34,681 --> 01:21:37,850
- No! Why would I answer work calls
- when I'm with y'all two?
- 2236
- 01:21:37,934 --> 01:21:39,935
- Don't worry about work. Yeah, no work.
- 2237
- 01:21:40,395 --> 01:21:42,730
- You okay back there, Duke? Yeah.
- 2238
- 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:44,440
- All right, now you got your license, too?
- 2239
- 01:21:44,524 --> 01:21:45,983
- 'Cause you're driving back, right?
- 2240
- 01:21:46,234 --> 01:21:47,443
- (CHUCKLING)
- 2241
- 01:21:48,278 --> 01:21:49,528
- (CAR LOCK BEEPS)
- 2242
- 01:21:50,780 --> 01:21:52,156
- I'm just joking.
- 2243
- 01:21:52,824 --> 01:21:54,450
- Such a romantic.
- 2244
- 01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:56,243
- CEDRIC: Things were almost going too well.
- 2245
- 01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:59,330
- The guys had forgotten that
- they were even at war.
- 2246
- 01:22:03,209 --> 01:22:05,753
- All right, thanks a lot, everybody.
- Once again, I'm Danny Vola.
- 2247
- 01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:08,172
- Go up there and sing. Come
- on, you should go...
- 2248
- 01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:09,965
- No. I ain't sang in years, you sit down.
- 2249
- 01:22:10,133 --> 01:22:12,718
- Wait, slow down! Okay, Duke!
- 2250
- 01:22:12,886 --> 01:22:15,596
- All right, you got this. Be careful!
- 2251
- 01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:18,349
- I'm about to get you a motorcycle
- now, the way you're going, baby.
- 2252
- 01:22:18,433 --> 01:22:21,268
- ♪ I just don't wanna stop Oh, my love
- 2253
- 01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:24,521
- Oh, you want some?
- 2254
- 01:22:24,814 --> 01:22:30,486
- ♪ A million days in your
- arms is never too much
- 2255
- 01:22:33,823 --> 01:22:36,241
- ♪ I just don't wanna stop
- 2256
- 01:22:36,326 --> 01:22:38,577
- ♪ Too much, never too
- much Never too much ♪
- 2257
- 01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:47,378
- Sorry that took so long, babe. One of the
- guys needed a little of my advice.
- 2258
- 01:22:48,296 --> 01:22:49,630
- Where were we?
- 2259
- 01:22:49,923 --> 01:22:51,173
- Right here. Mmm-hmm.
- 2260
- 01:22:51,549 --> 01:22:53,926
- CEDRIC: But then things
- started to backfire.
- 2261
- 01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:56,637
- What ever happened with
- that job at Neversoft?
- 2262
- 01:22:57,055 --> 01:22:58,180
- Mmm.
- 2263
- 01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:03,268
- I forgot to tell you, I heard through the
- grapevine they filled the position.
- 2264
- 01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:04,520
- Mmm? Mmm.
- 2265
- 01:23:05,021 --> 01:23:06,105
- Really?
- 2266
- 01:23:06,773 --> 01:23:07,940
- Yeah.
- 2267
- 01:23:10,443 --> 01:23:11,652
- That's weird,
- 2268
- 01:23:13,029 --> 01:23:17,074
- 'cause I heard from Sarah's
- little brother...
- 2269
- 01:23:17,409 --> 01:23:19,576
- Yeah? ...on Linkedln.
- 2270
- 01:23:19,744 --> 01:23:22,663
- And he said that the position
- was still open.
- 2271
- 01:23:23,999 --> 01:23:26,041
- Really? Yeah.
- 2272
- 01:23:26,209 --> 01:23:28,836
- And that he was gonna personally
- recommend you to his boss.
- 2273
- 01:23:29,004 --> 01:23:32,006
- Except your résumé's not on file.
- 2274
- 01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:33,841
- What?
- 2275
- 01:23:35,719 --> 01:23:37,511
- I've been waiting this whole time.
- 2276
- 01:23:37,679 --> 01:23:41,390
- You know what? I had to reset
- the modem the other day.
- 2277
- 01:23:41,558 --> 01:23:43,684
- I bet you the email didn't go through.
- 2278
- 01:23:43,852 --> 01:23:47,021
- Yeah, I'll fix it in the morning.
- 2279
- 01:23:49,399 --> 01:23:50,649
- The Internet?
- 2280
- 01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:55,195
- Yeah, it happens all the time.
- 2281
- 01:23:58,575 --> 01:23:59,575
- Kris?
- 2282
- 01:24:00,952 --> 01:24:02,995
- CEDRIC: The truth was catching up to them.
- 2283
- 01:24:07,167 --> 01:24:08,584
- I'll miss you.
- 2284
- 01:24:09,961 --> 01:24:11,462
- That's me, all right. I'll see you.
- 2285
- 01:24:11,629 --> 01:24:12,629
- Okay.
- 2286
- 01:24:24,017 --> 01:24:25,642
- ♪ Ah
- 2287
- 01:24:30,148 --> 01:24:36,320
- ♪ Ooh, baby
- 2288
- 01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:37,571
- ♪ Keep on
- 2289
- 01:24:39,115 --> 01:24:40,199
- ♪ My baby
- 2290
- 01:24:40,283 --> 01:24:41,784
- ♪ Keep on doing it
- 2291
- 01:24:43,953 --> 01:24:44,995
- ♪ Right on
- 2292
- 01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,288
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh
- 2293
- 01:24:46,414 --> 01:24:48,290
- ♪ Right on doing it
- 2294
- 01:24:49,793 --> 01:24:51,293
- ♪ We get it together
- 2295
- 01:24:51,377 --> 01:24:52,586
- ♪ Baby keep on
- 2296
- 01:24:52,670 --> 01:24:54,463
- ♪ Oh, we get it together baby
- 2297
- 01:24:54,756 --> 01:24:56,924
- ♪ Right on
- 2298
- 01:24:57,217 --> 01:24:58,383
- ♪ Keep on doing it
- 2299
- 01:24:58,468 --> 01:24:59,802
- ♪ And I'll give you baby ♪
- 2300
- 01:24:59,886 --> 01:25:00,928
- James?
- 2301
- 01:25:01,137 --> 01:25:03,055
- James Merrill? Lauren Harris.
- 2302
- 01:25:04,516 --> 01:25:05,933
- Wow, look at you.
- 2303
- 01:25:06,309 --> 01:25:09,478
- Look at you. (MOUTHING) Oh, my God.
- 2304
- 01:25:09,687 --> 01:25:12,981
- You are like a fine wine. You just
- get better with age, don't you?
- 2305
- 01:25:13,149 --> 01:25:16,151
- And you get smoother. What
- are you doing in LA?
- 2306
- 01:25:16,319 --> 01:25:20,322
- I'm checking out a sublet. Yeah, I
- was just promoted CEO of Sensala.
- 2307
- 01:25:20,740 --> 01:25:22,282
- Wow. Yeah, yeah.
- 2308
- 01:25:22,367 --> 01:25:23,367
- I'm relocating to LA.
- 2309
- 01:25:23,535 --> 01:25:24,618
- You're kidding? No.
- 2310
- 01:25:24,702 --> 01:25:27,830
- Well, I can't imagine Nina ever
- wanting to leave Chicago.
- 2311
- 01:25:27,997 --> 01:25:29,706
- Yeah, well, that's because she's not.
- 2312
- 01:25:30,750 --> 01:25:32,334
- We're finalizing our divorce.
- 2313
- 01:25:32,877 --> 01:25:34,837
- Really? Yeah.
- 2314
- 01:25:35,004 --> 01:25:36,046
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- 2315
- 01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:37,840
- No, no, it's all right.
- 2316
- 01:25:38,007 --> 01:25:39,383
- We're friendly. That's good.
- 2317
- 01:25:39,551 --> 01:25:42,177
- But what about you? I mean,
- are you engaged? Married?
- 2318
- 01:25:42,846 --> 01:25:45,848
- No. Not married or engaged.
- 2319
- 01:25:46,015 --> 01:25:47,349
- Really?
- 2320
- 01:25:47,517 --> 01:25:49,184
- Just dating, but nothing serious.
- 2321
- 01:25:49,853 --> 01:25:51,061
- Well then, why don't we go to dinner?
- 2322
- 01:25:52,021 --> 01:25:53,188
- Sure.
- 2323
- 01:25:53,356 --> 01:25:55,232
- Let's do it. I mean, let's do dinner.
- 2324
- 01:25:55,358 --> 01:25:56,650
- (CHUCKLES)
- 2325
- 01:25:57,193 --> 01:25:58,777
- Well, you have to call me.
- 2326
- 01:25:58,945 --> 01:26:00,362
- Got the same number? Same number.
- 2327
- 01:26:00,530 --> 01:26:01,780
- All right. Use it.
- 2328
- 01:26:01,948 --> 01:26:03,866
- Tomorrow night. Absolutely.
- 2329
- 01:26:04,909 --> 01:26:06,618
- Like the car. Me, too.
- 2330
- 01:26:06,786 --> 01:26:07,870
- Love the body.
- 2331
- 01:26:08,121 --> 01:26:09,872
- Ha! On the car.
- 2332
- 01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:14,501
- I hate to trouble you... Go away!
- 2333
- 01:26:14,919 --> 01:26:18,213
- I saw this episode last night at
- Mom's. This joint is hilarious.
- 2334
- 01:26:18,381 --> 01:26:21,091
- Wait, I thought you got called
- back into work last night.
- 2335
- 01:26:21,259 --> 01:26:23,594
- Oh, yeah, last night I got
- called back into work,
- 2336
- 01:26:23,761 --> 01:26:25,888
- but remember, I told you I
- had to stop by my mom's
- 2337
- 01:26:26,055 --> 01:26:28,140
- to drop off the stuff that
- she had put at my...
- 2338
- 01:26:28,224 --> 01:26:29,933
- No. Yeah, I told you that, babe.
- 2339
- 01:26:30,018 --> 01:26:31,143
- No, I don't think you...
- 2340
- 01:26:31,227 --> 01:26:32,686
- Give me a kiss, baby. You
- don't be listening.
- 2341
- 01:26:32,770 --> 01:26:35,189
- CEDRIC: And the lies were
- starting to add up.
- 2342
- 01:26:35,356 --> 01:26:37,900
- Listen, my mom's planning a
- really big family reunion.
- 2343
- 01:26:38,067 --> 01:26:39,151
- I'd love it if you could come.
- 2344
- 01:26:39,235 --> 01:26:40,277
- Whatever you want, baby.
- 2345
- 01:26:40,403 --> 01:26:41,486
- Really? Yeah.
- 2346
- 01:26:41,571 --> 01:26:45,657
- I mean, the only bad thing is if your
- mom and grandma are as fine as you,
- 2347
- 01:26:45,825 --> 01:26:47,826
- you might have some competition
- over there.
- 2348
- 01:26:47,994 --> 01:26:49,161
- (LAUGHING) Come here.
- 2349
- 01:26:50,371 --> 01:26:51,413
- DUKE: Cool!
- 2350
- 01:26:51,539 --> 01:26:52,706
- It's at the park, in Culver City.
- 2351
- 01:26:52,874 --> 01:26:55,000
- There's gonna be a trampoline
- and barbecue.
- 2352
- 01:26:55,168 --> 01:26:58,253
- These walls have ears. Duke,
- please go back to bed.
- 2353
- 01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:04,051
- So, it's gonna be the 20th and
- it's gonna be so great.
- 2354
- 01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:05,969
- We're gonna have these cotton
- candy machines...
- 2355
- 01:27:06,137 --> 01:27:07,596
- The 20th of this month?
- 2356
- 01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:08,764
- Mmm-hmm. Carousels...
- 2357
- 01:27:08,932 --> 01:27:10,891
- Baby, I can't make the 20th.
- 2358
- 01:27:11,142 --> 01:27:12,351
- Why?
- 2359
- 01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:15,103
- Well, actually, I promised my mom.
- 2360
- 01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:16,480
- It's her church anniversary,
- so I promised...
- 2361
- 01:27:16,648 --> 01:27:18,065
- DUKE: Really? You gotta be kidding me!
- 2362
- 01:27:18,233 --> 01:27:19,733
- Good night, Duke!
- 2363
- 01:27:19,901 --> 01:27:21,193
- Baby, I'm gonna see what
- I can do, all right?
- 2364
- 01:27:21,361 --> 01:27:23,362
- Okay. I'm gonna make it happen.
- 2365
- 01:27:23,529 --> 01:27:24,780
- Come here, girl, come here.
- 2366
- 01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:28,283
- CEDRIC: Turns out, the only problem
- in pretending to step up is,
- 2367
- 01:27:28,451 --> 01:27:30,869
- well, sometimes, you actually have to.
- 2368
- 01:27:31,037 --> 01:27:32,287
- Yo, watch this right here.
- 2369
- 01:27:32,372 --> 01:27:34,289
- Hold it, this is about to jump...
- 2370
- 01:27:36,042 --> 01:27:37,125
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING EXCITEDLY))
- 2371
- 01:27:40,004 --> 01:27:41,838
- Okay, what?
- 2372
- 01:27:43,633 --> 01:27:47,427
- Okay, okay, okay. I wanted to wait
- until we had proper drinks,
- 2373
- 01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:50,847
- but I talked to my uncle last night,
- 2374
- 01:27:51,015 --> 01:27:54,309
- and he listened to your
- CD, and he loved it.
- 2375
- 01:27:54,477 --> 01:27:56,061
- And he's obsessed with number seven,
- 2376
- 01:27:56,145 --> 01:27:57,980
- and they want to meet with you on Tuesday!
- 2377
- 01:27:58,147 --> 01:27:59,314
- Congratulations!
- 2378
- 01:27:59,565 --> 01:28:02,276
- Oh, my God. You did this for me?
- 2379
- 01:28:02,443 --> 01:28:06,530
- No, you did it. You left
- it all on the track.
- 2380
- 01:28:06,990 --> 01:28:08,615
- I love you, girl.
- 2381
- 01:28:14,330 --> 01:28:15,664
- CEDRIC: Without even meaning to,
- 2382
- 01:28:15,748 --> 01:28:18,542
- Zeke done messed around and uttered
- the three magic words
- 2383
- 01:28:18,710 --> 01:28:20,585
- that finally opened the cookie jar.
- 2384
- 01:28:45,361 --> 01:28:47,654
- But Zeke's victory was short-lived.
- 2385
- 01:29:16,851 --> 01:29:17,851
- (CHUCKLES)
- 2386
- 01:29:20,897 --> 01:29:23,815
- Uh-oh. This cannot be good.
- 2387
- 01:29:25,985 --> 01:29:27,319
- No, no, no.
- 2388
- 01:29:38,414 --> 01:29:39,748
- (DOOR OPENING)
- 2389
- 01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:43,418
- (MUFFLED SPEECH)
- 2390
- 01:29:45,088 --> 01:29:48,548
- Am I tripping, or was last night
- the best night of my life?
- 2391
- 01:29:48,716 --> 01:29:49,883
- You got the cookie.
- 2392
- 01:29:50,051 --> 01:29:51,885
- The cookie? I'm the cookie monster.
- 2393
- 01:29:51,969 --> 01:29:54,388
- You know what I got us?
- I got some latte...
- 2394
- 01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:00,560
- Mya, I can explain that.
- 2395
- 01:30:00,728 --> 01:30:03,230
- You lying-ass sack of shit!
- 2396
- 01:30:04,607 --> 01:30:06,983
- I was just using this to defend myself.
- 2397
- 01:30:07,151 --> 01:30:08,735
- Defending yourself against what?
- 2398
- 01:30:08,820 --> 01:30:09,861
- Against your 90-Day Rule.
- 2399
- 01:30:09,987 --> 01:30:12,823
- That was created for women to protect
- themselves from sorry-asses like you.
- 2400
- 01:30:12,907 --> 01:30:14,699
- Oh, so I'm the villain, and you
- didn't even have the guts
- 2401
- 01:30:14,784 --> 01:30:16,785
- to tell me that I was on
- a 90-day probation.
- 2402
- 01:30:16,869 --> 01:30:18,078
- I was gonna tell you. Oh,
- were you gonna tell me?
- 2403
- 01:30:18,204 --> 01:30:22,332
- Yes, I was gonna tell you. But then,
- I thought I might amend it.
- 2404
- 01:30:24,919 --> 01:30:27,379
- 'Cause I thought you might
- actually be the one.
- 2405
- 01:30:28,005 --> 01:30:29,339
- So, was any of it real?
- 2406
- 01:30:29,799 --> 01:30:34,094
- Any of it? The wining, the dining?
- Calling me your girlfriend?
- 2407
- 01:30:34,262 --> 01:30:36,138
- Or was that all just to get the cookie?
- 2408
- 01:30:38,391 --> 01:30:39,474
- Wow.
- 2409
- 01:30:40,977 --> 01:30:42,352
- You win, congratulations.
- 2410
- 01:30:43,396 --> 01:30:45,355
- You got it, right? You won.
- 2411
- 01:30:45,523 --> 01:30:47,315
- Mya, wait a minute. Mya, it was true.
- 2412
- 01:30:47,483 --> 01:30:49,109
- Zeke, don't touch me!
- 2413
- 01:30:50,236 --> 01:30:51,653
- God, you're so good.
- 2414
- 01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:53,905
- You're so good.
- 2415
- 01:30:54,115 --> 01:30:56,825
- Because even when I know
- that you're lying,
- 2416
- 01:30:58,119 --> 01:31:00,036
- I still almost believe you.
- 2417
- 01:31:00,663 --> 01:31:05,208
- CEDRIC: In The Art of War, Sun Tzu wrote,
- "All warfare is based on deception."
- 2418
- 01:31:05,376 --> 01:31:08,295
- He left out, "Only dumbasses get caught."
- 2419
- 01:31:08,588 --> 01:31:09,796
- (RINGING)
- 2420
- 01:31:09,881 --> 01:31:11,256
- CANDACE: Baby, your phone!
- 2421
- 01:31:11,674 --> 01:31:14,968
- CEDRIC: Meanwhile, Candace didn't even need
- to find the book to get the message.
- 2422
- 01:31:15,136 --> 01:31:16,219
- Michael Atwater's phone?
- 2423
- 01:31:17,054 --> 01:31:18,096
- Tandace?
- 2424
- 01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:19,181
- Loretta?
- 2425
- 01:31:19,307 --> 01:31:24,227
- Listen, I'm calling to tell Michael that
- I don't need him to take me to church.
- 2426
- 01:31:24,645 --> 01:31:27,481
- Deacon Johnson will be
- driving me to church.
- 2427
- 01:31:27,648 --> 01:31:29,733
- Let me talk to him. Is he free?
- 2428
- 01:31:29,901 --> 01:31:31,401
- He will be.
- 2429
- 01:31:31,736 --> 01:31:33,737
- MICHAEL: Here we go! Oh, slam dunk!
- 2430
- 01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:35,238
- Michael.
- 2431
- 01:31:36,616 --> 01:31:37,741
- Can I talk to you for a minute?
- 2432
- 01:31:37,992 --> 01:31:38,992
- Uh-oh.
- 2433
- 01:31:39,076 --> 01:31:40,368
- Uh-oh. What?
- 2434
- 01:31:40,536 --> 01:31:41,536
- Ha! You'll see.
- 2435
- 01:31:41,621 --> 01:31:42,787
- Duke, get in the house.
- 2436
- 01:31:43,080 --> 01:31:44,915
- Baby, did you see that boy's skills?
- 2437
- 01:31:45,082 --> 01:31:46,208
- If I keep on...
- 2438
- 01:31:46,375 --> 01:31:47,542
- What's wrong, baby? What's up?
- 2439
- 01:31:48,461 --> 01:31:50,295
- Your, uh, work just called.
- 2440
- 01:31:50,463 --> 01:31:53,215
- And I thought it might be an
- emergency, so I picked up.
- 2441
- 01:31:53,841 --> 01:31:54,925
- But it was just your mom.
- 2442
- 01:31:55,218 --> 01:31:58,303
- Really? You know, the T-Mobile
- Top Five be acting up...
- 2443
- 01:31:58,471 --> 01:31:59,804
- Don't bullshit me, Michael.
- 2444
- 01:31:59,972 --> 01:32:01,932
- Baby, listen, I know how that looks,
- but trust me, this isn't...
- 2445
- 01:32:02,308 --> 01:32:04,142
- Trust? I believed you.
- 2446
- 01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:08,230
- I can't compete with your
- mother. And I won't.
- 2447
- 01:32:08,397 --> 01:32:09,564
- You don't have to...
- 2448
- 01:32:09,732 --> 01:32:11,691
- Then why did you look me
- in my face and lie?
- 2449
- 01:32:15,154 --> 01:32:16,530
- You need to go.
- 2450
- 01:32:17,406 --> 01:32:18,532
- Baby, listen I...
- 2451
- 01:32:18,741 --> 01:32:20,200
- Get out of my face, Michael.
- 2452
- 01:32:28,042 --> 01:32:30,961
- CEDRIC: And Candace wasn't the only
- one who was all business that day.
- 2453
- 01:32:31,128 --> 01:32:32,337
- Hey, beautiful.
- 2454
- 01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:34,965
- Hi. How are you?
- 2455
- 01:32:35,883 --> 01:32:37,175
- Um, I have a 2 o'clock, so...
- 2456
- 01:32:37,260 --> 01:32:38,593
- You look stunning.
- 2457
- 01:32:38,844 --> 01:32:40,095
- Thank you.
- 2458
- 01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:42,764
- So, you said you had some news?
- 2459
- 01:32:42,932 --> 01:32:45,976
- Yeah. My investor friend that
- I told you about? Mmm-hmm.
- 2460
- 01:32:46,060 --> 01:32:49,813
- Read your prospectus, loves it, and
- wants you to give him a call.
- 2461
- 01:32:50,273 --> 01:32:51,523
- You serious?
- 2462
- 01:32:51,649 --> 01:32:53,400
- I told you it was brilliant.
- 2463
- 01:32:53,901 --> 01:32:55,860
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- 2464
- 01:32:57,113 --> 01:32:59,739
- Okay, we gotta go celebrate.
- Let's go out tonight.
- 2465
- 01:32:59,907 --> 01:33:01,658
- I'm not free tonight.
- 2466
- 01:33:01,826 --> 01:33:04,494
- Okay, well, what about
- tomorrow night, then?
- 2467
- 01:33:04,745 --> 01:33:07,455
- Dominic, I'm gonna hit you
- with the headline, okay?
- 2468
- 01:33:07,623 --> 01:33:10,709
- I recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend
- of mine from college.
- 2469
- 01:33:10,876 --> 01:33:12,043
- Anyway, he just got a divorce
- 2470
- 01:33:12,128 --> 01:33:13,587
- and is moving back to LA and I...
- 2471
- 01:33:13,671 --> 01:33:14,671
- Whoa, whoa.
- 2472
- 01:33:15,381 --> 01:33:16,590
- You breaking up with me?
- 2473
- 01:33:16,757 --> 01:33:19,968
- No! No, I'm not breaking
- up, just taking a break.
- 2474
- 01:33:20,136 --> 01:33:21,511
- I need some space. Space.
- 2475
- 01:33:21,679 --> 01:33:23,179
- Yeah, because we were moving too fast...
- 2476
- 01:33:23,264 --> 01:33:25,015
- Yeah, you sound like a guy.
- 2477
- 01:33:25,182 --> 01:33:26,224
- What did you say?
- 2478
- 01:33:26,350 --> 01:33:28,018
- I said you sound like a guy.
- 2479
- 01:33:28,519 --> 01:33:32,147
- Is that why you invited me to this
- place? For a business lunch?
- 2480
- 01:33:32,398 --> 01:33:33,565
- So you can have an out-time?
- 2481
- 01:33:33,733 --> 01:33:35,150
- Dominic, look, I really like you.
- 2482
- 01:33:35,443 --> 01:33:39,654
- Okay? I didn't want to string you
- along. Let's just be friends.
- 2483
- 01:33:39,822 --> 01:33:42,115
- Yeah, I don't really need
- any more friends, Lauren.
- 2484
- 01:33:42,366 --> 01:33:46,661
- You know, and I really don't need
- your friends to let me down easy.
- 2485
- 01:33:46,829 --> 01:33:48,580
- Okay, don't be stupid, Dominic.
- 2486
- 01:33:48,664 --> 01:33:49,956
- That's business, not personal.
- 2487
- 01:33:52,043 --> 01:33:53,627
- Do you even know the difference?
- 2488
- 01:33:53,961 --> 01:33:55,003
- You know, Lauren, I...
- 2489
- 01:33:56,088 --> 01:34:00,967
- I never even had a prospectus, you
- know? I did it all to impress you.
- 2490
- 01:34:02,303 --> 01:34:06,431
- You inspired me, you motivated me to do
- something for myself for the first time.
- 2491
- 01:34:07,850 --> 01:34:10,310
- And all this time, I thought
- you were too good for me.
- 2492
- 01:34:12,813 --> 01:34:13,855
- (LAUGHS HUMORLESSLY)
- 2493
- 01:34:25,701 --> 01:34:27,952
- Kris? Picked up some pizza.
- 2494
- 01:34:51,143 --> 01:34:52,268
- (SIGHS)
- 2495
- 01:34:59,318 --> 01:35:00,735
- (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
- 2496
- 01:35:01,445 --> 01:35:05,740
- What I don't get is just like the book,
- I was the guy with potential.
- 2497
- 01:35:05,908 --> 01:35:09,035
- I told her the truth, I put myself out
- there, and it still wasn't enough.
- 2498
- 01:35:09,203 --> 01:35:11,329
- At least you didn't get caught
- in a flat-out lie.
- 2499
- 01:35:11,497 --> 01:35:13,790
- Y'all should see how bad things
- are with Candace right now.
- 2500
- 01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:17,210
- Kristen wouldn't even look at me
- when I showed up at Gina's.
- 2501
- 01:35:17,628 --> 01:35:18,837
- She'll change her mind.
- 2502
- 01:35:19,004 --> 01:35:22,298
- Nah. You did not see the way
- she looked at me. Such...
- 2503
- 01:35:22,466 --> 01:35:23,717
- Hate? Hurt.
- 2504
- 01:35:23,884 --> 01:35:26,636
- It's hate. Women will hate you fast.
- 2505
- 01:35:26,804 --> 01:35:29,597
- Either way, fellas. I think we
- brought this upon ourselves.
- 2506
- 01:35:29,765 --> 01:35:33,727
- It was self-defense. They attacked
- first! We had to strike back.
- 2507
- 01:35:33,894 --> 01:35:36,396
- We were just protecting our natural-born
- right to be men. Am I right?
- 2508
- 01:35:36,897 --> 01:35:37,939
- Right. Right.
- 2509
- 01:35:38,107 --> 01:35:39,774
- Love us or leave us, right?
- 2510
- 01:35:40,276 --> 01:35:41,359
- ALL: Right!
- 2511
- 01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:43,194
- And they left us. Ha!
- 2512
- 01:35:44,488 --> 01:35:45,613
- ALL: Right.
- 2513
- 01:35:45,740 --> 01:35:48,283
- ♪ I know you're somewhere out there
- 2514
- 01:35:48,367 --> 01:35:51,202
- ♪ Somewhere far away
- 2515
- 01:35:51,287 --> 01:35:56,958
- ♪ I want you back
- 2516
- 01:35:58,794 --> 01:36:01,171
- ♪ I'm feeling like I'm famous
- 2517
- 01:36:01,255 --> 01:36:03,882
- ♪ The talk of the town
- 2518
- 01:36:04,175 --> 01:36:06,718
- ♪ They say I've gone mad
- 2519
- 01:36:07,636 --> 01:36:09,971
- ♪ Yeah, I've gone mad
- 2520
- 01:36:11,974 --> 01:36:14,142
- ♪ But they don't know what I know
- 2521
- 01:36:14,226 --> 01:36:17,228
- ♪ 'Cause when the sun goes down
- 2522
- 01:36:17,313 --> 01:36:19,856
- ♪ Someone's talking back
- 2523
- 01:36:20,357 --> 01:36:23,318
- ♪ Yeah, they're talking back
- 2524
- 01:36:23,652 --> 01:36:24,986
- ♪ Oh
- 2525
- 01:36:25,529 --> 01:36:27,655
- ♪ At night when the stars light up my room
- 2526
- 01:36:27,740 --> 01:36:29,324
- (KNOCKING) We're back.
- 2527
- 01:36:29,492 --> 01:36:30,992
- Take all the time you need.
- 2528
- 01:36:31,160 --> 01:36:32,285
- Thanks.
- 2529
- 01:36:32,369 --> 01:36:35,914
- ♪ I sit by myself
- 2530
- 01:36:35,998 --> 01:36:38,792
- ♪ Talking to the moon
- 2531
- 01:36:38,876 --> 01:36:40,543
- BARTENDER: Zeke, check it out.
- 2532
- 01:36:41,170 --> 01:36:43,463
- Your right. My left.
- 2533
- 01:36:49,345 --> 01:36:50,678
- Not my type.
- 2534
- 01:36:50,846 --> 01:36:55,266
- That's how we do it, Zeke. I line
- them up, you mow them down.
- 2535
- 01:36:56,101 --> 01:36:57,477
- Can I have my tab?
- 2536
- 01:37:15,788 --> 01:37:17,455
- CEDRIC: You can only get it once a year.
- 2537
- 01:37:17,540 --> 01:37:18,581
- What kind of meat is in the McRib?
- 2538
- 01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:19,958
- Fellas. Let me guess,
- 2539
- 01:37:20,042 --> 01:37:21,334
- school pictures?
- 2540
- 01:37:21,502 --> 01:37:22,752
- (LAUGHS) You look like
- a substitute teacher.
- 2541
- 01:37:22,962 --> 01:37:24,045
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- 2542
- 01:37:24,171 --> 01:37:28,591
- I finally sent my résumé over to Neversoft.
- I had my meeting today.
- 2543
- 01:37:28,759 --> 01:37:31,761
- And they just called. I got the job.
- 2544
- 01:37:32,096 --> 01:37:33,137
- Is that right?
- 2545
- 01:37:33,222 --> 01:37:34,222
- Congratulations, man!
- 2546
- 01:37:34,306 --> 01:37:37,475
- I'm a senior designer at Neversoft.
- With full benefits.
- 2547
- 01:37:37,560 --> 01:37:38,893
- Damn right, and the next step
- is the expense card.
- 2548
- 01:37:38,978 --> 01:37:40,061
- I gotta call Kris.
- 2549
- 01:37:42,356 --> 01:37:44,148
- She not talking to you, huh?
- 2550
- 01:37:44,441 --> 01:37:46,025
- No. Well, you should call her anyway.
- 2551
- 01:37:46,944 --> 01:37:48,444
- She's the reason it happened, right?
- 2552
- 01:37:49,488 --> 01:37:50,572
- Yeah.
- 2553
- 01:37:50,656 --> 01:37:51,656
- That's good advice, right there.
- 2554
- 01:37:51,740 --> 01:37:52,782
- How's that project going along?
- 2555
- 01:37:52,867 --> 01:37:54,409
- It's going great. In fact,
- 2556
- 01:37:54,493 --> 01:37:57,328
- I'm gonna have to get out of here
- soon and go get some work done.
- 2557
- 01:37:57,413 --> 01:37:59,747
- You know what we should do?
- We should celebrate, right?
- 2558
- 01:37:59,915 --> 01:38:02,208
- DOMINIC: Nice. Yes. New job,
- first round's on Michael.
- 2559
- 01:38:02,376 --> 01:38:03,376
- Yes. I like that.
- 2560
- 01:38:03,460 --> 01:38:04,752
- No, no. I just had the last round...
- 2561
- 01:38:04,920 --> 01:38:05,962
- This is nice, just the fellas.
- 2562
- 01:38:06,046 --> 01:38:07,630
- Just like old times.
- 2563
- 01:38:07,798 --> 01:38:10,550
- No, it's not like old times because
- I don't have a curfew this time.
- 2564
- 01:38:10,718 --> 01:38:13,887
- Speaking of curfew, I gotta
- go. My night to cook.
- 2565
- 01:38:14,054 --> 01:38:15,305
- CEDRIC: Bennett, you sound like a bitch.
- 2566
- 01:38:15,472 --> 01:38:17,891
- We just got finished hearing good news,
- we with the fellas, we drinking.
- 2567
- 01:38:17,975 --> 01:38:20,852
- He running home all henpecked.
- Come on, man!
- 2568
- 01:38:21,020 --> 01:38:22,395
- I'm not cooking 'cause I have to,
- 2569
- 01:38:22,479 --> 01:38:23,855
- I'm cooking 'cause I want
- to, that's my wife.
- 2570
- 01:38:23,939 --> 01:38:25,148
- Come on, now, Bennett.
- 2571
- 01:38:25,232 --> 01:38:27,275
- I'm not saying it like that, I'm
- saying just, right now...
- 2572
- 01:38:27,359 --> 01:38:28,776
- Don't be mad at me 'cause I
- got a wife at the house.
- 2573
- 01:38:28,861 --> 01:38:31,362
- That means sometimes I can't hang
- out all night with you guys,
- 2574
- 01:38:31,447 --> 01:38:33,698
- I gotta go home early then
- that's what I gotta do.
- 2575
- 01:38:34,491 --> 01:38:35,617
- I'm just saying.
- 2576
- 01:38:35,868 --> 01:38:37,410
- I got this round.
- 2577
- 01:38:38,203 --> 01:38:39,329
- I'm happy for you, congratulations.
- 2578
- 01:38:39,413 --> 01:38:40,455
- Thank you.
- 2579
- 01:38:40,539 --> 01:38:41,873
- I'll see you guys. ZEKE: Big B!
- 2580
- 01:38:42,041 --> 01:38:43,666
- You're $20 short, Bennett.
- 2581
- 01:38:43,834 --> 01:38:47,921
- Yeah, no, I used to cook for Gail
- on Thursdays. That was my day.
- 2582
- 01:38:48,088 --> 01:38:50,006
- I'm happy we're free. I really am.
- 2583
- 01:38:50,174 --> 01:38:52,050
- I'm telling you right now, we're
- better off without them.
- 2584
- 01:38:52,217 --> 01:38:53,635
- Yeah, I mean, who needs to
- put up with their shit?
- 2585
- 01:38:53,802 --> 01:38:55,511
- And their demands, the nagging...
- 2586
- 01:38:55,679 --> 01:38:59,641
- The expectations. Expectation is
- the catalyst for all of that.
- 2587
- 01:38:59,808 --> 01:39:00,850
- Here we go. CEDRIC: You know what's funny?
- 2588
- 01:39:01,018 --> 01:39:04,771
- Gail used to love it when I cooked
- Bolognese sauce from scratch.
- 2589
- 01:39:04,939 --> 01:39:06,105
- Like, that was her favorite, so...
- 2590
- 01:39:06,273 --> 01:39:09,359
- All right, boys, we are free
- to do whatever we want,
- 2591
- 01:39:09,526 --> 01:39:13,321
- with whoever we want, whenever we
- want, all right? To freedom!
- 2592
- 01:39:13,489 --> 01:39:14,530
- ALL: Freedom!
- 2593
- 01:39:14,615 --> 01:39:19,160
- ♪ Bright lights, big city going to my head
- 2594
- 01:39:19,411 --> 01:39:21,913
- ♪ Bright lights, big city... ♪
- 2595
- 01:39:21,997 --> 01:39:24,207
- Ced, lift your glass, man, get involved.
- 2596
- 01:39:24,375 --> 01:39:25,416
- Right, I'm sorry. No, no, no.
- 2597
- 01:39:25,501 --> 01:39:26,501
- MICHAEL: Take that shot, baby.
- 2598
- 01:39:26,585 --> 01:39:28,252
- To freedom. Huh?
- 2599
- 01:39:28,963 --> 01:39:30,088
- Huh? Bottoms up.
- 2600
- 01:39:31,882 --> 01:39:33,216
- Don't need them.
- 2601
- 01:39:34,385 --> 01:39:35,635
- I gotta piss.
- 2602
- 01:39:35,803 --> 01:39:36,928
- I'll be right back.
- 2603
- 01:39:37,096 --> 01:39:39,389
- Look like you gotta take a
- dump, the way you moving.
- 2604
- 01:39:40,516 --> 01:39:41,724
- (PHONE RINGING)
- 2605
- 01:39:47,439 --> 01:39:48,523
- What?
- 2606
- 01:39:48,774 --> 01:39:50,566
- Gail, ain't nobody calling to
- fight with you right now.
- 2607
- 01:39:50,651 --> 01:39:52,735
- What the hell do... Look! I'm coming home.
- 2608
- 01:39:52,903 --> 01:39:54,404
- Really, Cedric?
- 2609
- 01:39:54,571 --> 01:39:56,990
- Gail, let me tell you something.
- That's my house, too, Gail!
- 2610
- 01:39:57,157 --> 01:39:58,825
- I pay the bills in that house!
- 2611
- 01:39:58,909 --> 01:40:00,994
- It's my house, too. I'm coming home.
- 2612
- 01:40:01,161 --> 01:40:03,913
- Which is where I belong, girl.
- 2613
- 01:40:04,540 --> 01:40:08,042
- Gail, I'm tired of this tough
- shit. I miss you, Gail.
- 2614
- 01:40:08,711 --> 01:40:10,044
- Gail, I ain't been the same, man.
- 2615
- 01:40:10,212 --> 01:40:13,923
- I'm out here, I'm out here
- on these streets and shit.
- 2616
- 01:40:14,091 --> 01:40:15,508
- I'm out here in the strip clubs.
- 2617
- 01:40:15,676 --> 01:40:19,721
- These girls calling me by my first
- name, like, I'm there every day!
- 2618
- 01:40:19,888 --> 01:40:22,640
- Which I am, but that's because I'm
- going through something, Gail.
- 2619
- 01:40:22,808 --> 01:40:27,020
- I need to be held. I need you to rub
- my back. Put me in my onesie.
- 2620
- 01:40:27,187 --> 01:40:28,730
- I changed, I need my woman back!
- 2621
- 01:40:28,897 --> 01:40:30,940
- I'm around all these men and shit!
- 2622
- 01:40:31,108 --> 01:40:32,108
- I don't want it.
- 2623
- 01:40:32,192 --> 01:40:35,278
- I don't want that life no more,
- I want you and Jesus.
- 2624
- 01:40:35,362 --> 01:40:36,487
- And that's it.
- 2625
- 01:40:36,739 --> 01:40:38,114
- Okay, Big Daddy.
- 2626
- 01:40:38,282 --> 01:40:39,532
- What you say?
- 2627
- 01:40:39,700 --> 01:40:41,117
- How soon can you get here?
- 2628
- 01:40:45,039 --> 01:40:46,122
- Um...
- 2629
- 01:40:47,041 --> 01:40:49,459
- Like... Like 20, 22, 23 minutes.
- 2630
- 01:40:49,626 --> 01:40:51,961
- Bring your sexy ass home. I'll be waiting.
- 2631
- 01:40:52,129 --> 01:40:53,963
- You want me to bring you something?
- 2632
- 01:40:54,048 --> 01:40:55,131
- You want like, some Doritos, or something?
- 2633
- 01:40:55,299 --> 01:40:57,842
- 'Cause I can stop and get it, baby.
- Whatever makes you happy.
- 2634
- 01:40:58,010 --> 01:40:59,761
- Just come home. Okay.
- 2635
- 01:41:00,012 --> 01:41:01,721
- All right, I love you.
- 2636
- 01:41:02,431 --> 01:41:03,556
- (KISSES) Oh!
- 2637
- 01:41:03,849 --> 01:41:05,391
- Oh, shit.
- 2638
- 01:41:05,934 --> 01:41:07,060
- Thank you.
- 2639
- 01:41:08,437 --> 01:41:09,520
- Whoo!
- 2640
- 01:41:10,564 --> 01:41:11,689
- Yup.
- 2641
- 01:41:13,275 --> 01:41:14,358
- (TOILET FLUSHING)
- 2642
- 01:41:14,443 --> 01:41:15,651
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- 2643
- 01:41:17,071 --> 01:41:18,154
- Oh.
- 2644
- 01:41:21,366 --> 01:41:23,951
- Good shit, brother. Go home to Gail.
- 2645
- 01:41:30,417 --> 01:41:32,460
- Just wipe shit on my back?
- 2646
- 01:41:34,963 --> 01:41:37,131
- You didn't even wash your hands, man?
- 2647
- 01:41:38,425 --> 01:41:41,177
- Who the hell shits with a hat on, anyway?
- 2648
- 01:41:41,345 --> 01:41:43,596
- She said she was coming
- from, um, Shanghai.
- 2649
- 01:41:43,680 --> 01:41:44,764
- DOMINIC: I remember her.
- 2650
- 01:41:44,848 --> 01:41:46,557
- Fellas, I will see you later.
- 2651
- 01:41:46,725 --> 01:41:48,559
- Let's all cash out, we'll go together.
- 2652
- 01:41:48,644 --> 01:41:49,644
- You going to the Ass Factory, right?
- 2653
- 01:41:49,728 --> 01:41:51,729
- Gail is taking me back, I'm going home.
- 2654
- 01:41:53,065 --> 01:41:54,107
- Home!
- 2655
- 01:41:54,233 --> 01:41:56,317
- Girl, I am married. Please!
- 2656
- 01:41:56,693 --> 01:41:58,402
- Thank you. Married man!
- 2657
- 01:41:58,570 --> 01:42:01,531
- CEDRIC: That night, we all
- realized that the plots,
- 2658
- 01:42:01,698 --> 01:42:05,993
- plans and schemes couldn't compare
- to one simple thing, the truth.
- 2659
- 01:42:13,794 --> 01:42:14,836
- MICHAEL: Mama!
- 2660
- 01:42:14,962 --> 01:42:16,337
- Oh, what the hell?
- 2661
- 01:42:16,505 --> 01:42:17,839
- Hey, baby.
- 2662
- 01:42:18,006 --> 01:42:20,716
- Oh, flowers, breakfast. Yeah.
- 2663
- 01:42:21,176 --> 01:42:22,552
- You're a little early, sweetie.
- 2664
- 01:42:22,719 --> 01:42:26,097
- I know, but I wanted to come
- by so I could tell you that
- 2665
- 01:42:26,265 --> 01:42:28,558
- I'm not gonna be able to make it
- to the anniversary today, Mom.
- 2666
- 01:42:28,725 --> 01:42:30,059
- There's some place I gotta be.
- 2667
- 01:42:30,227 --> 01:42:33,146
- Well, it's our 75th at the church.
- 2668
- 01:42:33,730 --> 01:42:35,982
- What's wrong, sweetie? Where you gotta be?
- 2669
- 01:42:36,150 --> 01:42:38,776
- With Candace. At her family reunion, Mom.
- 2670
- 01:42:41,822 --> 01:42:42,864
- (SIGHS)
- 2671
- 01:42:45,242 --> 01:42:46,409
- Well, good for you.
- 2672
- 01:42:48,036 --> 01:42:49,704
- (LAUGHS) Okay, sweetie.
- 2673
- 01:42:49,872 --> 01:42:50,872
- Really? All right.
- 2674
- 01:42:51,039 --> 01:42:53,207
- Now, I'm gonna see you tomorrow,
- okay? Time for you to go.
- 2675
- 01:42:53,375 --> 01:42:56,335
- Loretta, it's my turn to spank you.
- 2676
- 01:42:57,087 --> 01:42:58,421
- Deacon Johnson?
- 2677
- 01:42:58,589 --> 01:42:59,589
- You got the keys for these?
- 2678
- 01:42:59,673 --> 01:43:00,673
- Put those down, fool!
- 2679
- 01:43:00,757 --> 01:43:02,258
- How long has this been going on?
- 2680
- 01:43:02,426 --> 01:43:03,593
- Ninety days.
- 2681
- 01:43:03,760 --> 01:43:06,470
- More like 91. I'm sorry I
- stretched your T-shirt.
- 2682
- 01:43:06,555 --> 01:43:07,889
- How you doing, Michael?
- 2683
- 01:43:08,056 --> 01:43:09,724
- All right, fool, go on upstairs now.
- 2684
- 01:43:09,808 --> 01:43:11,350
- You know, these pills cost $19.
- 2685
- 01:43:11,518 --> 01:43:12,894
- Mom, you got him with my loofah?
- 2686
- 01:43:13,061 --> 01:43:14,729
- Baby, go on. Go ahead, go ahead.
- 2687
- 01:43:14,897 --> 01:43:16,647
- Listen here, fool!
- 2688
- 01:43:16,815 --> 01:43:20,401
- I done told you I'd bring that coffee
- upstairs, you old, nasty fool.
- 2689
- 01:43:20,861 --> 01:43:21,861
- Hey.
- 2690
- 01:43:22,404 --> 01:43:24,030
- Look who I found.
- 2691
- 01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,991
- Wow. Okay, third time I hope is a charm.
- 2692
- 01:43:27,075 --> 01:43:28,201
- Actually, I think it is.
- 2693
- 01:43:28,285 --> 01:43:30,077
- Go ahead, tell them. We
- want to make an offer.
- 2694
- 01:43:31,496 --> 01:43:32,663
- I told you this was gonna happen.
- 2695
- 01:43:32,748 --> 01:43:33,789
- No, you didn't, actually.
- 2696
- 01:43:34,208 --> 01:43:37,752
- This is great news. We sort of had
- an instinct about you guys.
- 2697
- 01:43:38,086 --> 01:43:39,170
- Kris?
- 2698
- 01:43:39,254 --> 01:43:40,546
- Jeremy, what are you doing here?
- 2699
- 01:43:40,714 --> 01:43:41,797
- I need to talk to you.
- 2700
- 01:43:41,882 --> 01:43:43,925
- Yeah, I can't. I'm in the
- middle of something.
- 2701
- 01:43:44,384 --> 01:43:45,551
- This is important.
- 2702
- 01:43:46,345 --> 01:43:48,137
- Not a problem. Take your time.
- 2703
- 01:43:48,305 --> 01:43:50,389
- I'm gonna get the paperwork,
- and we can get started.
- 2704
- 01:43:50,474 --> 01:43:51,474
- I'm really sorry.
- 2705
- 01:43:53,810 --> 01:43:55,102
- Did someone die?
- 2706
- 01:43:55,187 --> 01:43:56,229
- What? No.
- 2707
- 01:43:56,480 --> 01:43:58,105
- Well, you have a suit on, so I...
- 2708
- 01:43:58,273 --> 01:43:59,690
- I got the job at Neversoft, Kris.
- 2709
- 01:43:59,775 --> 01:44:00,775
- Really?
- 2710
- 01:44:00,943 --> 01:44:02,068
- Yeah.
- 2711
- 01:44:02,277 --> 01:44:05,029
- I mean, that's cool. I hope you
- didn't do it for my benefit.
- 2712
- 01:44:06,490 --> 01:44:08,324
- I did. At first.
- 2713
- 01:44:08,784 --> 01:44:12,453
- But somehow, through all the pretending,
- 2714
- 01:44:13,288 --> 01:44:15,456
- I figured out I wanted it for me.
- 2715
- 01:44:16,458 --> 01:44:19,293
- And now that I have it, I want it for us.
- 2716
- 01:44:19,795 --> 01:44:22,213
- You were the first person I wanted
- to call when I got the news,
- 2717
- 01:44:22,381 --> 01:44:25,633
- and the fact that I couldn't
- drove me crazy.
- 2718
- 01:44:26,635 --> 01:44:29,470
- You're the last person I think about
- before I go to sleep at night, Kris.
- 2719
- 01:44:29,680 --> 01:44:30,680
- Look, I, um,
- 2720
- 01:44:31,723 --> 01:44:32,765
- I miss you.
- 2721
- 01:44:32,891 --> 01:44:34,308
- Oh, honey.
- 2722
- 01:44:34,476 --> 01:44:37,311
- I miss you and I want you back.
- 2723
- 01:44:37,813 --> 01:44:39,146
- So sweet.
- 2724
- 01:44:39,481 --> 01:44:40,815
- I want to buy you a house.
- 2725
- 01:44:40,983 --> 01:44:42,316
- That's my man, step up there.
- 2726
- 01:44:42,484 --> 01:44:43,859
- I want to buy you this house.
- 2727
- 01:44:44,027 --> 01:44:46,153
- Back up, bitch. You ain't buying my house.
- 2728
- 01:44:46,321 --> 01:44:47,321
- Oh, it's fine.
- 2729
- 01:44:47,489 --> 01:44:48,864
- How the hell he talking
- about buying my house?
- 2730
- 01:44:48,991 --> 01:44:50,032
- Breathe.
- 2731
- 01:44:50,117 --> 01:44:52,660
- I'm breathing, I'm breathing.
- I got it, I got it.
- 2732
- 01:44:54,663 --> 01:44:55,871
- Okay.
- 2733
- 01:45:07,926 --> 01:45:11,721
- I want to be your wife. And I
- want you to be my husband...
- 2734
- 01:45:16,435 --> 01:45:18,185
- I want to be your husband.
- 2735
- 01:45:19,104 --> 01:45:21,105
- And I want you to be my wife
- 2736
- 01:45:21,398 --> 01:45:22,982
- so bad.
- 2737
- 01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:24,817
- So, um...
- 2738
- 01:45:35,912 --> 01:45:37,163
- Will you marry me?
- 2739
- 01:45:41,209 --> 01:45:42,251
- It's a yes.
- 2740
- 01:45:43,295 --> 01:45:44,295
- Oh, she did it.
- 2741
- 01:45:44,379 --> 01:45:45,338
- Go ahead, my man.
- 2742
- 01:45:45,464 --> 01:45:47,798
- She did it 'cause she changed
- the game. She did what?
- 2743
- 01:45:47,966 --> 01:45:49,091
- Oh, don't worry about it.
- 2744
- 01:45:58,518 --> 01:46:00,519
- CEDRIC: Even Zeke was singing a new tune.
- 2745
- 01:46:00,687 --> 01:46:02,938
- That last one was Bitch Betta
- Have My Money by AMG.
- 2746
- 01:46:03,023 --> 01:46:04,690
- I don't really feel like being
- out of the house right now.
- 2747
- 01:46:04,775 --> 01:46:06,067
- Come on.
- 2748
- 01:46:06,443 --> 01:46:09,737
- You know the best way to get over
- an old guy is to get a new one.
- 2749
- 01:46:09,946 --> 01:46:10,988
- You're coming.
- 2750
- 01:46:11,073 --> 01:46:12,073
- ...make sure you show him some love.
- 2751
- 01:46:12,157 --> 01:46:13,616
- Zeke, come on up. (PEOPLE CLAPPING)
- 2752
- 01:46:15,118 --> 01:46:16,160
- Hey, thank you.
- 2753
- 01:46:16,244 --> 01:46:17,286
- Oh, my God.
- 2754
- 01:46:17,371 --> 01:46:18,788
- I haven't really played
- this song in years...
- 2755
- 01:46:18,955 --> 01:46:20,122
- Is that...
- 2756
- 01:46:20,248 --> 01:46:23,959
- ...but it was inspired by a
- very special woman who, um,
- 2757
- 01:46:25,670 --> 01:46:27,421
- is definitely worth waiting for.
- 2758
- 01:46:30,008 --> 01:46:33,844
- ♪ Last night I had a dream about a dream
- 2759
- 01:46:33,929 --> 01:46:36,764
- ♪ About you ♪
- 2760
- 01:46:40,519 --> 01:46:42,228
- I gotta get out of here. Mya!
- 2761
- 01:46:43,105 --> 01:46:44,438
- Mya!
- 2762
- 01:46:46,942 --> 01:46:49,777
- Mya, will you hold up? Mya?
- 2763
- 01:46:49,945 --> 01:46:51,904
- You think you can just sing one song
- 2764
- 01:46:51,988 --> 01:46:53,322
- and everything's gonna be forgotten?
- 2765
- 01:46:53,490 --> 01:46:55,533
- No! I was just hoping it would be a start.
- 2766
- 01:46:55,951 --> 01:46:58,536
- You know what? You know, you can't
- change a person's nature, Zeke.
- 2767
- 01:46:58,703 --> 01:47:00,329
- That is not true. I know for
- a fact that that's not true.
- 2768
- 01:47:00,455 --> 01:47:01,872
- How? Because I want to start over.
- 2769
- 01:47:03,250 --> 01:47:04,834
- I want 90 more days.
- 2770
- 01:47:06,420 --> 01:47:07,545
- Without sex?
- 2771
- 01:47:07,712 --> 01:47:09,630
- If that's what it takes.
- 2772
- 01:47:09,923 --> 01:47:12,091
- I don't want the sex, Mya. I want you.
- 2773
- 01:47:12,384 --> 01:47:13,884
- That's bullshit.
- 2774
- 01:47:15,971 --> 01:47:18,055
- Okay, that's bullshit. Yes!
- Of course I want the sex.
- 2775
- 01:47:18,223 --> 01:47:21,600
- But the difference is the sex is all
- I wanted before I met you. Now,
- 2776
- 01:47:22,227 --> 01:47:23,352
- I want you.
- 2777
- 01:47:24,354 --> 01:47:25,354
- Okay?
- 2778
- 01:47:25,897 --> 01:47:28,357
- Now? I want coffee.
- 2779
- 01:47:29,818 --> 01:47:33,446
- I want to stay up all night talking about
- your crazy childhood. I want...
- 2780
- 01:47:34,990 --> 01:47:39,034
- I don't know. I want to talk
- about Aristotle's Caves.
- 2781
- 01:47:39,327 --> 01:47:40,494
- (CHUCKLES)
- 2782
- 01:47:42,789 --> 01:47:44,331
- It's Plato's.
- 2783
- 01:47:44,499 --> 01:47:45,875
- Plato got caves, too?
- 2784
- 01:47:46,585 --> 01:47:47,835
- Yeah.
- 2785
- 01:47:48,253 --> 01:47:49,753
- Mya, I love you.
- 2786
- 01:47:51,756 --> 01:47:54,341
- I'm in love with you.
- 2787
- 01:47:56,595 --> 01:47:59,263
- I've never said that to anyone in my life.
- 2788
- 01:48:00,807 --> 01:48:01,849
- (SIGHS)
- 2789
- 01:48:02,517 --> 01:48:04,643
- Then why didn't you just say so?
- 2790
- 01:48:19,075 --> 01:48:21,619
- CEDRIC: Turns out that my epiphany
- had a domino effect.
- 2791
- 01:48:22,037 --> 01:48:26,165
- Everyone was actually stepping up with
- their women. For real this time.
- 2792
- 01:48:26,583 --> 01:48:28,876
- CANDACE: I didn't get any of this.
- 2793
- 01:48:29,002 --> 01:48:30,127
- (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
- 2794
- 01:48:30,212 --> 01:48:33,339
- Candace? Your mother tells me
- that you're still single.
- 2795
- 01:48:33,507 --> 01:48:36,008
- Don't worry about it, because
- I think I have a solution.
- 2796
- 01:48:36,176 --> 01:48:38,802
- I have somebody I think would be
- perfect for you at my office.
- 2797
- 01:48:38,887 --> 01:48:39,929
- Her name is Amy.
- 2798
- 01:48:40,096 --> 01:48:42,389
- CANDACE'S MOM: Her? She's
- not in that chapter.
- 2799
- 01:48:42,557 --> 01:48:43,933
- Well, she might want to
- read the book, honey.
- 2800
- 01:48:44,100 --> 01:48:45,434
- Mom! Mom!
- 2801
- 01:48:46,686 --> 01:48:48,437
- MICHAEL: Thanks, Duke. I got this.
- 2802
- 01:48:49,314 --> 01:48:51,232
- Hi, ladies. Look at that face!
- 2803
- 01:48:51,316 --> 01:48:52,316
- (MEOWS)
- 2804
- 01:48:52,400 --> 01:48:53,943
- Nice to see you all.
- 2805
- 01:48:54,528 --> 01:48:56,654
- What are you doing here? Isn't
- today your mom's church thing?
- 2806
- 01:48:56,821 --> 01:48:57,988
- Yeah, it is.
- 2807
- 01:48:58,156 --> 01:48:59,365
- So, what? Did it get canceled?
- 2808
- 01:48:59,533 --> 01:49:01,742
- It did not. What's up with all
- these damn questions, woman?
- 2809
- 01:49:01,910 --> 01:49:03,786
- I just thought you needed to be there.
- 2810
- 01:49:03,954 --> 01:49:07,122
- Why would I be there when
- I should be here,
- 2811
- 01:49:07,290 --> 01:49:09,083
- with the number one woman in my life?
- 2812
- 01:49:09,251 --> 01:49:10,709
- So, since you're thinking so much,
- 2813
- 01:49:10,877 --> 01:49:12,670
- why don't you think about putting
- a burger on that plate
- 2814
- 01:49:12,754 --> 01:49:13,796
- with some pickles and some mustard?
- 2815
- 01:49:14,172 --> 01:49:15,548
- I'm sorry,
- 2816
- 01:49:17,300 --> 01:49:20,219
- did you just say "number one"?
- 2817
- 01:49:20,595 --> 01:49:23,097
- Oh, so you're not believing?
- Hold on one second.
- 2818
- 01:49:23,265 --> 01:49:25,599
- Ladies and gentlemen? Excuse me?
- 2819
- 01:49:25,767 --> 01:49:29,395
- Hi, I need everybody's attention,
- please? Hey, everybody... Yeah.
- 2820
- 01:49:29,563 --> 01:49:30,729
- Thank you.
- 2821
- 01:49:30,897 --> 01:49:34,650
- My name is Michael Hanover,
- and I want you all to know
- 2822
- 01:49:34,818 --> 01:49:39,738
- I am madly, and I am insanely
- in love with Candace Hall.
- 2823
- 01:49:41,616 --> 01:49:44,618
- And I just want everybody
- in the world to know
- 2824
- 01:49:44,953 --> 01:49:47,496
- that she's the number
- one woman in my life.
- 2825
- 01:49:47,914 --> 01:49:49,790
- Thanks, everybody. (ALL CHEERING)
- 2826
- 01:49:49,958 --> 01:49:51,667
- Aw, Candace! MICHAEL: Now
- back to the reunion!
- 2827
- 01:49:56,172 --> 01:49:57,256
- Whoo!
- 2828
- 01:50:00,010 --> 01:50:01,343
- Is that okay with you?
- 2829
- 01:50:02,929 --> 01:50:04,847
- What do you want on your damn burger?
- 2830
- 01:50:05,473 --> 01:50:08,392
- I don't give a damn, girl.
- I came for you. Come here.
- 2831
- 01:50:15,233 --> 01:50:17,901
- CEDRIC: And so, the book ended
- happily for all of us.
- 2832
- 01:50:18,361 --> 01:50:20,946
- Well, almost all of us.
- 2833
- 01:50:21,114 --> 01:50:22,990
- Hey, girl. Haven't seen you in a while.
- 2834
- 01:50:23,158 --> 01:50:25,743
- I know. I'm sorry, I've been swamped.
- 2835
- 01:50:25,827 --> 01:50:26,827
- So what are you up to later today?
- 2836
- 01:50:27,037 --> 01:50:30,039
- Actually, I have a date with
- James, finally. Ah.
- 2837
- 01:50:30,206 --> 01:50:32,750
- Between his CEO and my COO,
- 2838
- 01:50:32,834 --> 01:50:34,293
- it seems we never see each other.
- 2839
- 01:50:34,377 --> 01:50:35,461
- What else is new?
- 2840
- 01:50:35,545 --> 01:50:37,504
- Anyway. You got any plans for later?
- 2841
- 01:50:37,589 --> 01:50:40,799
- Actually, the three of us are going
- to Dominic's grand opening.
- 2842
- 01:50:43,470 --> 01:50:46,263
- Oh. He found a backer for his restaurant?
- 2843
- 01:50:46,431 --> 01:50:49,016
- No. He got a personal loan for
- a food truck. It's called...
- 2844
- 01:50:49,184 --> 01:50:50,392
- Avenue D.
- 2845
- 01:50:50,560 --> 01:50:53,896
- It's in Pueblo Plaza. He wants to
- start small, build his way up.
- 2846
- 01:50:54,064 --> 01:50:55,856
- Good for him, you know?
- 2847
- 01:50:57,359 --> 01:50:58,692
- Anyway, have fun tonight.
- 2848
- 01:50:58,860 --> 01:51:00,110
- Oh, we will.
- 2849
- 01:51:03,281 --> 01:51:04,448
- Thank you.
- 2850
- 01:51:04,908 --> 01:51:06,325
- So, James, how was your day?
- 2851
- 01:51:06,493 --> 01:51:09,036
- It was good. Actually, it
- was... It was great.
- 2852
- 01:51:09,120 --> 01:51:11,747
- Did I mention to you that The Wall Street
- Journal is doing a feature on me?
- 2853
- 01:51:11,831 --> 01:51:12,956
- Yes, the...
- 2854
- 01:51:13,041 --> 01:51:14,667
- "Wonderkid." Yeah, I know. (LAUGHS)
- 2855
- 01:51:14,834 --> 01:51:15,918
- "The Wonderkid."
- 2856
- 01:51:16,086 --> 01:51:17,544
- I know I'm not exactly a kid,
- 2857
- 01:51:17,629 --> 01:51:20,255
- but I am the youngest CEO
- of a Fortune 500 company.
- 2858
- 01:51:20,423 --> 01:51:21,548
- Yes, we talked...
- 2859
- 01:51:21,633 --> 01:51:23,592
- Now I'm focusing my sights
- on the Far East.
- 2860
- 01:51:23,677 --> 01:51:26,303
- I was talking to Warren the other
- day. You know Warren Buffett?
- 2861
- 01:51:26,471 --> 01:51:27,721
- Dub-Beezy, that's my man.
- 2862
- 01:51:28,181 --> 01:51:30,516
- (VOICE ECHOING) He was telling
- me about diversification.
- 2863
- 01:51:31,935 --> 01:51:36,730
- So, I bought a G6. Okay, all right.
- The company bought a G6.
- 2864
- 01:51:36,898 --> 01:51:38,565
- (VOICE FADING) New York to Los
- Angeles costs about $60,000.
- 2865
- 01:51:38,650 --> 01:51:39,942
- They put that down every time I go.
- 2866
- 01:51:40,110 --> 01:51:41,527
- Also talked to my man,
- Kobe, the other day.
- 2867
- 01:51:41,611 --> 01:51:43,612
- He was trying to get me to
- buy an NBA franchise.
- 2868
- 01:51:44,072 --> 01:51:46,281
- I'm fine, James.
- 2869
- 01:51:47,826 --> 01:51:49,076
- Thanks for asking.
- 2870
- 01:51:51,621 --> 01:51:53,163
- I'm sorry, I don't understand.
- 2871
- 01:51:53,331 --> 01:51:54,790
- I know.
- 2872
- 01:51:56,876 --> 01:51:59,837
- I know, but I finally do.
- 2873
- 01:52:01,506 --> 01:52:03,090
- (PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- 2874
- 01:52:03,174 --> 01:52:05,259
- ♪ Ritual union's
- 2875
- 01:52:05,510 --> 01:52:09,096
- ♪ Got me in trouble again ♪
- 2876
- 01:52:09,264 --> 01:52:11,181
- All right, all right, all right.
- 2877
- 01:52:11,266 --> 01:52:12,433
- (PEOPLE CHEERING)
- 2878
- 01:52:14,436 --> 01:52:15,519
- All right, a little something.
- 2879
- 01:52:15,603 --> 01:52:16,687
- Just a little sample for the ladies.
- 2880
- 01:52:16,771 --> 01:52:17,813
- Fellas, I'll get you back later.
- 2881
- 01:52:17,897 --> 01:52:19,022
- Come on, Dom!
- 2882
- 01:52:19,107 --> 01:52:21,775
- Give that to the wife. To your lady,
- okay, good, there you go.
- 2883
- 01:52:22,110 --> 01:52:24,611
- All right, one more? There
- you go, there you go, J.
- 2884
- 01:52:24,696 --> 01:52:26,029
- I'll be right back. Thanks for coming.
- 2885
- 01:52:26,114 --> 01:52:27,364
- I'll be right back. This is amazing.
- 2886
- 01:52:29,909 --> 01:52:31,118
- DOMINIC: Next!
- 2887
- 01:52:32,036 --> 01:52:33,245
- I'll take the Chef's Special.
- 2888
- 01:52:33,413 --> 01:52:34,747
- Is that with chicken or...
- 2889
- 01:52:34,914 --> 01:52:35,998
- Hey, back of the line.
- 2890
- 01:52:36,082 --> 01:52:37,791
- Look, this is personal, not business.
- 2891
- 01:52:37,959 --> 01:52:39,418
- Move your arm!
- 2892
- 01:52:41,129 --> 01:52:42,379
- Congratulations.
- 2893
- 01:52:42,547 --> 01:52:43,839
- Looks like a huge success.
- 2894
- 01:52:44,924 --> 01:52:46,800
- I wasn't expecting you.
- 2895
- 01:52:46,968 --> 01:52:48,677
- I couldn't miss your grand opening.
- 2896
- 01:52:49,053 --> 01:52:50,179
- COOK: Live bass ceviche?
- 2897
- 01:52:50,305 --> 01:52:52,014
- Sal, those two lasagnas are to-go.
- 2898
- 01:52:52,515 --> 01:52:53,807
- SAL: You got it.
- 2899
- 01:52:54,934 --> 01:52:56,143
- So, where's your CEO?
- 2900
- 01:52:56,770 --> 01:52:58,061
- I ended that.
- 2901
- 01:52:58,480 --> 01:52:59,646
- Dominic!
- 2902
- 01:52:59,773 --> 01:53:03,275
- He may have all the money in the
- world, and all the power,
- 2903
- 01:53:03,443 --> 01:53:05,486
- but he doesn't have half
- your potential. Stop!
- 2904
- 01:53:05,653 --> 01:53:07,112
- Stop.
- 2905
- 01:53:07,572 --> 01:53:10,240
- I don't need you to do that for
- me anymore. I'm doing me, now.
- 2906
- 01:53:10,408 --> 01:53:11,617
- All right?
- 2907
- 01:53:12,285 --> 01:53:14,661
- Thanks for coming, but I
- got a business to run.
- 2908
- 01:53:14,746 --> 01:53:16,747
- I'm sure you can respect that, right?
- 2909
- 01:53:17,916 --> 01:53:19,666
- But I was... Next!
- 2910
- 01:53:25,048 --> 01:53:27,591
- What's good here, man? Do you
- have a low-fat Pork Special?
- 2911
- 01:53:28,092 --> 01:53:29,635
- Sure. Let's roll with it.
- 2912
- 01:53:30,470 --> 01:53:32,179
- Dominic?
- 2913
- 01:53:33,181 --> 01:53:35,182
- Excuse me. What are you doing?
- 2914
- 01:53:35,433 --> 01:53:37,184
- I want you back, Dominic.
- 2915
- 01:53:40,313 --> 01:53:41,772
- Guys, just give me a minute, please.
- 2916
- 01:53:41,856 --> 01:53:43,023
- We gotta finish this up. I know.
- 2917
- 01:53:43,191 --> 01:53:44,566
- I'm sorry.
- 2918
- 01:53:46,528 --> 01:53:48,654
- What are you doing? I want you back.
- 2919
- 01:53:48,822 --> 01:53:51,448
- Yeah, listen, I'm not an acquisition.
- You can't just decide...
- 2920
- 01:53:51,616 --> 01:53:54,243
- I'm asking. Oh, yeah? And I'm
- asking for some service.
- 2921
- 01:53:54,410 --> 01:53:57,162
- You'll get your pork sausage,
- Porky! Beat it!
- 2922
- 01:54:01,167 --> 01:54:03,794
- Lauren, listen, we're just
- too different, okay?
- 2923
- 01:54:03,962 --> 01:54:07,464
- Yes, we are different. But I
- think that's a good thing.
- 2924
- 01:54:07,632 --> 01:54:10,092
- What you need is status. You need titles.
- 2925
- 01:54:10,176 --> 01:54:12,219
- I don't care about... No, I don't.
- 2926
- 01:54:12,303 --> 01:54:16,515
- What I need is a man who makes
- me feel like I'm special.
- 2927
- 01:54:16,766 --> 01:54:18,600
- I don't care about his title,
- 2928
- 01:54:18,685 --> 01:54:20,435
- and I don't care how much money you make,
- 2929
- 01:54:20,603 --> 01:54:23,772
- I don't care what kind of car
- you drive. I just need you.
- 2930
- 01:54:23,940 --> 01:54:26,608
- Please? I'm sorry.
- 2931
- 01:54:30,280 --> 01:54:32,489
- I think ultimately we want
- different things.
- 2932
- 01:54:32,657 --> 01:54:33,866
- No.
- 2933
- 01:54:34,617 --> 01:54:35,951
- I disagree.
- 2934
- 01:54:37,954 --> 01:54:40,664
- I think we want the exact same thing.
- 2935
- 01:54:42,041 --> 01:54:43,500
- What's that?
- 2936
- 01:54:44,586 --> 01:54:45,919
- Well, first,
- 2937
- 01:54:47,297 --> 01:54:50,132
- I would like to have my Chef's
- Special, hold the pork.
- 2938
- 01:54:58,683 --> 01:55:03,896
- ♪ Baby, tonight's the night I let you know
- 2939
- 01:55:03,980 --> 01:55:07,065
- ♪ Baby, tonight's the night
- we lose control ♪
- 2940
- 01:55:07,150 --> 01:55:08,317
- (CHEERING)
- 2941
- 01:55:09,444 --> 01:55:12,029
- Go, Dom! All right, come on,
- man, that's enough kissing.
- 2942
- 01:55:12,113 --> 01:55:13,238
- Grab her ass or something.
- 2943
- 01:55:13,323 --> 01:55:14,364
- That's my girl!
- 2944
- 01:55:14,449 --> 01:55:17,117
- Show me something, God! Give me something
- to think about tonight.
- 2945
- 01:55:17,243 --> 01:55:18,577
- You know I haven't had much sex.
- 2946
- 01:55:18,661 --> 01:55:20,245
- Me and Gail ain't really doing
- it like we used to.
- 2947
- 01:55:20,413 --> 01:55:21,747
- Really, Cedric?
- 2948
- 01:55:21,915 --> 01:55:22,873
- Come on, now.
- 2949
- 01:55:22,957 --> 01:55:24,791
- Get your little ass over here, now!
- 2950
- 01:55:24,959 --> 01:55:26,168
- Hey, Gail, I was talking...
- 2951
- 01:55:26,336 --> 01:55:28,503
- ZEKE: Pull your pants up, Cedric!
- 2952
- 01:55:31,049 --> 01:55:32,799
- (CEDRIC SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
- 2953
- 01:55:34,135 --> 01:55:35,928
- I'll get the guy in the purple.
- 2954
- 01:55:36,095 --> 01:55:38,013
- Hi, I'm Bennett. Use our ball?
- 2955
- 01:55:40,058 --> 01:55:42,059
- I'll see you on the court! Save it...
- 2956
- 01:55:42,143 --> 01:55:43,268
- Save it for the game, though!
- 2957
- 01:55:43,436 --> 01:55:45,270
- LISA: Listen, little man.
- Where's your twin?
- 2958
- 01:55:45,355 --> 01:55:46,605
- You're gonna need somebody
- on your shoulders.
- 2959
- 01:55:46,689 --> 01:55:48,357
- Oh, that's funny. That's real funny.
- 2960
- 01:55:48,441 --> 01:55:50,108
- Let's see if it's funny when
- my balls are on your back!
- 2961
- 01:55:51,819 --> 01:55:53,820
- MAN: Ball's in play. Let's go. Oh, shit.
- 2962
- 01:55:54,322 --> 01:55:55,447
- (CRASHING)
- 2963
- 01:55:55,531 --> 01:55:57,866
- ♪ You said, "Every king
- needs his queen, babe"
- 2964
- 01:55:58,993 --> 01:56:00,577
- ♪ That's why you needed me baby
- 2965
- 01:56:00,662 --> 01:56:02,079
- MAN: Pass the ball, man!
- 2966
- 01:56:02,830 --> 01:56:04,456
- ♪ There was us there was trust
- 2967
- 01:56:04,540 --> 01:56:08,669
- ♪ There was happen and change I know
- 2968
- 01:56:08,753 --> 01:56:11,129
- ♪ Silly you, silly me silly
- us, what a waste
- 2969
- 01:56:11,214 --> 01:56:12,547
- You gonna play some defense?
- 2970
- 01:56:13,841 --> 01:56:15,175
- (GRUNTS) Wait, wait, wait!
- 2971
- 01:56:15,718 --> 01:56:16,843
- Pass!
- 2972
- 01:56:17,929 --> 01:56:19,054
- Huh? Huh?
- 2973
- 01:56:20,598 --> 01:56:22,182
- MAN: Just shoot the ball.
- 2974
- 01:56:23,893 --> 01:56:26,144
- You better get that out of here,
- little man. You all right?
- 2975
- 01:56:26,229 --> 01:56:28,063
- Hey, no making fun.
- 2976
- 01:56:33,111 --> 01:56:34,361
- Good shot.
- 2977
- 01:56:34,612 --> 01:56:36,405
- Good shot? It was!
- 2978
- 01:56:36,572 --> 01:56:38,031
- Bennett, be a man and push him!
- 2979
- 01:56:38,116 --> 01:56:39,199
- It was a good shot.
- 2980
- 01:56:41,703 --> 01:56:46,289
- ♪ Now I'm gonna keep it realer
- with you now than I ever been
- 2981
- 01:56:46,374 --> 01:56:49,209
- ♪ We should have never been
- girl we was better friends
- 2982
- 01:56:49,293 --> 01:56:52,004
- ♪ You didn't have to tell me
- what, where, why and when
- 2983
- 01:56:52,088 --> 01:56:53,839
- ♪ Ooh, why I didn't need it Cause
- you wasn't my girlfriend
- 2984
- 01:56:53,923 --> 01:56:55,257
- Pick on someone your own size, man.
- 2985
- 01:56:55,675 --> 01:56:57,217
- ♪ We had a good thing
- 2986
- 01:56:57,427 --> 01:56:58,719
- Oh, my knee!
- 2987
- 01:56:58,886 --> 01:57:00,345
- ♪ Ooh give me that good thing
- 2988
- 01:57:00,430 --> 01:57:01,513
- ♪ Then after we was finished
- 2989
- 01:57:01,597 --> 01:57:04,016
- ♪ You go your way I go
- my way it was whatever
- 2990
- 01:57:04,100 --> 01:57:05,892
- ♪ Tell me what in the hell makes...
- 2991
- 01:57:06,519 --> 01:57:08,020
- Hey, hey, hey!
- 2992
- 01:57:08,271 --> 01:57:09,813
- Man, you better calm down.
- 2993
- 01:57:09,981 --> 01:57:11,898
- He put his balls on my head.
- 2994
- 01:57:12,775 --> 01:57:17,404
- ♪ But in love, love, love ♪
- 2995
- 01:57:17,488 --> 01:57:18,989
- Where's my help on defense?
- 2996
- 01:57:22,827 --> 01:57:23,952
- Get out of here!
- 2997
- 01:57:26,164 --> 01:57:27,372
- Bennett! Jeremy!
- 2998
- 01:57:27,457 --> 01:57:28,749
- I'm trying to get my ball back!
- 2999
- 01:57:28,833 --> 01:57:30,208
- Can I have the ball, please?
- 3000
- 01:57:30,293 --> 01:57:32,210
- Just let them keep it. Let them keep it.
- 3001
- 01:57:33,421 --> 01:57:35,005
- Thanks, you guys! Go get that.
- 3002
- 01:57:35,173 --> 01:57:37,174
- Hey, we play here every Thursday.
- 3003
- 01:57:37,341 --> 01:57:39,009
- That wasn't that bad.
- 3004
- 01:57:39,177 --> 01:57:40,552
- Think about it.
- 3005
- 01:57:41,512 --> 01:57:42,846
- Well, I think it was a good time.
- 3006
- 01:57:42,930 --> 01:57:45,265
- It's all about the exercise, guys.
- 3007
- 01:57:46,350 --> 01:57:48,769
- ♪ Ain't this what you came for
- 3008
- 01:57:49,270 --> 01:57:51,104
- ♪ Don't you wish you came more?
- 3009
- 01:57:51,981 --> 01:57:53,899
- ♪ Girl what you're playing for?
- 3010
- 01:57:55,359 --> 01:57:56,943
- ♪ Come on
- 3011
- 01:57:57,028 --> 01:57:58,945
- ♪ Come on, let me kiss that
- 3012
- 01:57:59,739 --> 01:58:02,240
- ♪ Ooh, I know you miss that
- 3013
- 01:58:02,325 --> 01:58:05,660
- ♪ What's wrong? Let me fix that Twist that
- 3014
- 01:58:05,995 --> 01:58:11,208
- ♪ Baby, tonight's the night I let you know
- 3015
- 01:58:11,292 --> 01:58:16,546
- ♪ Baby, tonight's the
- night we lose control
- 3016
- 01:58:16,631 --> 01:58:22,427
- ♪ Baby tonight, you need that
- tonight, believe that
- 3017
- 01:58:22,512 --> 01:58:28,308
- ♪ Tonight, I'll be the best you ever had
- 3018
- 01:58:29,977 --> 01:58:32,395
- ♪ I don't wanna brag
- 3019
- 01:58:32,480 --> 01:58:34,272
- ♪ But I'll be
- 3020
- 01:58:35,858 --> 01:58:39,778
- ♪ The best you ever had
- 3021
- 01:58:40,530 --> 01:58:42,989
- ♪ I don't wanna brag
- 3022
- 01:58:43,074 --> 01:58:44,991
- ♪ But I'll be
- 3023
- 01:58:46,369 --> 01:58:50,330
- ♪ The best you ever had
- 3024
- 01:58:50,414 --> 01:58:52,916
- ♪ I hit you with the best throw
- 3025
- 01:58:53,000 --> 01:58:55,585
- ♪ Freestyle and the breaststroke
- 3026
- 01:58:55,670 --> 01:58:58,505
- ♪ Till you're blowing cigarette smoke
- 3027
- 01:58:58,589 --> 01:59:01,091
- ♪ And now the bed's broke
- 3028
- 01:59:01,175 --> 01:59:04,261
- ♪ So what we gonna do now?
- 3029
- 01:59:04,345 --> 01:59:06,263
- ♪ Round two now
- 3030
- 01:59:06,347 --> 01:59:08,557
- ♪ Work it out then we cool down
- 3031
- 01:59:08,641 --> 01:59:09,933
- ♪ Cool down
- 3032
- 01:59:10,017 --> 01:59:14,521
- ♪ Baby, tonight's the night I let you know
- 3033
- 01:59:14,605 --> 01:59:15,856
- ♪ Baby, tonight
- 3034
- 01:59:15,940 --> 01:59:20,610
- ♪ Baby, tonight's the
- night we lose control
- 3035
- 01:59:20,695 --> 01:59:23,864
- ♪ Baby, tonight you need that
- 3036
- 01:59:23,948 --> 01:59:26,324
- ♪ Tonight believe that
- 3037
- 01:59:26,409 --> 01:59:32,205
- ♪ Tonight, I'll be the best you ever had
- 3038
- 01:59:33,958 --> 01:59:36,418
- ♪ I don't wanna brag
- 3039
- 01:59:36,502 --> 01:59:38,461
- ♪ But I'll be
- 3040
- 01:59:39,130 --> 01:59:43,675
- ♪ The best you ever had
- 3041
- 01:59:44,594 --> 01:59:47,012
- ♪ I don't wanna brag
- 3042
- 01:59:47,096 --> 01:59:49,472
- ♪ But I'll be
- 3043
- 01:59:50,558 --> 01:59:53,602
- ♪ The best you ever had ♪
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