Broken family 1

I thought our family would be together forever, but we slowly drifted too far apart. The chances of it being fixed are never. And it breaks my heart and I don't know if I can recover.
This is why when I step behind this pen, you chumps best run and take cover. I'm here to take over.
I can't change the past, or tell you how long this depression will last.
I know what it's like to try to hold it together as you’re forced to wear a mask.
Tears build up, but you don't give up.
Swallow it down like you’re swallowing a part of your pride down with it as well.
Keep it up, this is just the beginning of hell.
I can't let them see me cry, or know the extent of damage inside.
I’ve been searching for the old me, the real me, the me I hid away from everyone to see. The me I lost touch with as a teen.
I'm finally letting him free.
For every death, I bare a scar.
I was so hurt, living in a world so scared.
My heart of gold turned cold.
It turned to stone.
But what do you expect when you have depression and you’re  left alone, and
dealing with thoughts and images that won't leave me alone.
I wanna call my family, but heaven doesn’t have a phone.
Why did you all die and leave me here all on my own?
I'm not a lover, I'm a fighter and I fight for what I love.
I'm fighting for everyone who's watching me from above.

And for the family who fakes having my back, Always quick to talk smack as soon as I turn my back. Those who swore to always have my back, but did  not one thing to ever show me you ever had our families or my back.
This is an attack.
And like always, you know I don't hold back.
We can’t keep pretending our family is the same,
because, to be honest, I'm ashamed when I think about the family name.
It’s insane. I remember when I was a kid, how strong our family use to be.  I'm talking before God took my uncle Stacy.
It's crazy.
It's not that hard to figure out, that our family went down the wrong route. I just wish we could figure it out,
but we can't. And now I just want out.
We share the same blood through our veins,
but I’ve got family closer to me. We don't even share the same bloodline!
It just blows my mind.
This is what I mean when I say my family is hard to find.
You should of been there for me like they were the whole time.
It's why when I say they’re my family, I mean they’re mine!
And for the family that I used to know,
I had mad love for you. But it's time to it let it go.
I hope the best for you all,
even though you all did nothing but watch me fall.
So don't ask if I'm alright,
I want to sever this bloodline.
I promise you I'm just fine.
TBC