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- 0
- 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:28,265
- That's not how we do this
- in the hood, you know.
- 2
- 00:00:28,390 --> 00:00:29,518
- [man #1] All right, now, come up here.
- 3
- 00:00:30,102 --> 00:00:33,024
- Always ignoring the no trespassing signs.
- 4
- 00:00:33,191 --> 00:00:34,151
- [laughing]
- 5
- 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,072
- What are you talking about?
- We didn't even see it.
- 6
- 00:00:37,491 --> 00:00:38,828
- [Zack] It's scary, man.
- 7
- 00:00:43,128 --> 00:00:45,508
- Uh, I think... I think I'm gonna die.
- 8
- 00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:48,430
- -You got like six more.
- -[Zack] Are you fucking serious?
- 9
- 00:00:48,514 --> 00:00:50,852
- We have a long way to go.
- We're not even halfway.
- 10
- 00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:53,524
- OK, let's do it. Let's go up.
- We're already going up. Come on, Keire.
- 11
- 00:00:53,607 --> 00:00:55,653
- [Zack] No, I'm not going up.
- We're going down.
- 12
- 00:00:55,737 --> 00:00:57,031
- [man #2] Do you want me to come
- and push you?
- 13
- 00:00:57,114 --> 00:00:58,868
- We're going right back down.
- 14
- 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:02,207
- Come on, I... I just got
- the courage to do this.
- 15
- 00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:03,293
- We're going down.
- 16
- 00:01:03,376 --> 00:01:05,172
- -I already told him. I'm bailing out.
- -OK.
- 17
- 00:01:05,422 --> 00:01:06,466
- -Good, I'm...
- -I wanna go,
- 18
- 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,219
- -but he's so scared.
- -I'm with you. I don't wanna die.
- 19
- 00:01:09,013 --> 00:01:11,309
- [Zack] Your whole life society
- tell you, like,
- 20
- 00:01:11,392 --> 00:01:13,522
- "Oh, be a man, and you're strong,
- 21
- 00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:16,904
- and you're tough,
- and margaritas are gay," you know, like...
- 22
- 00:01:17,196 --> 00:01:19,450
- You know, you don't grow up
- thinking that's the way you are.
- 23
- 00:01:20,745 --> 00:01:23,542
- When you are a kid,
- you just do, you just act
- 24
- 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,799
- and then somewhere along the line,
- everyone loses that.
- 25
- 00:01:36,860 --> 00:01:39,365
- [instrumental music playing]
- 26
- 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,546
- It's... I really wanted to clean up.
- I'm freaking hungry.
- 27
- 00:03:32,382 --> 00:03:36,474
- [Keire] I spend, like, the majority
- of my time here alone.
- 28
- 00:03:38,478 --> 00:03:39,564
- [Bing] Why do you think that is?
- 29
- 00:03:40,398 --> 00:03:41,943
- [Keire] It's-- It's me, because I...
- 30
- 00:03:42,110 --> 00:03:45,033
- I always felt like
- I didn't fit in with my family.
- 31
- 00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:49,375
- It seems like they don't understand
- why I escaped already in the first place.
- 32
- 00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:50,670
- [sighs]
- 33
- 00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:56,682
- -[gunshot]
- -[Zack] Oh, do not shoot that in my house.
- 34
- 00:03:57,474 --> 00:04:00,271
- See this is why
- we are not allowed to go anywhere.
- 35
- 00:04:00,438 --> 00:04:01,608
- Is this, right here.
- 36
- 00:04:02,317 --> 00:04:03,987
- [man] Oh, fuck off!
- 37
- 00:04:04,488 --> 00:04:08,622
- If you go... If you go behind a tree,
- you're-- you're OK. You got cover.
- 38
- 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,210
- [laughing]
- 39
- 00:04:12,462 --> 00:04:14,551
- Are you gonna put me smoking weed,
- in that thing?
- 40
- 00:04:14,759 --> 00:04:17,221
- [Bing] Maybe. I don't think just to do it.
- 41
- 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,560
- I've given you free range, I mean, I...
- 42
- 00:04:20,563 --> 00:04:22,065
- I've no stipulation.
- 43
- 00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:29,581
- [Zack] I've always needed more
- out of life, more out of where I was.
- 44
- 00:04:30,206 --> 00:04:32,920
- You know, my parents ran
- this very controlling house
- 45
- 00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:34,799
- and so, I ran away a lot.
- 46
- 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:38,766
- When I was like 16, I was no longer living
- with my parents, like, at all.
- 47
- 00:04:39,517 --> 00:04:41,563
- I just wanted to fucking escape.
- 48
- 00:04:41,563 --> 00:04:43,984
- ["Video Life"
- by Chris Spedding plays]
- 49
- 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:44,903
- [man] Yeah!
- 50
- 00:04:48,869 --> 00:04:51,457
- Ready for some fucking intense action.
- Take one.
- 51
- 00:04:54,213 --> 00:04:55,966
- No!
- 52
- 00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:09,409
- I can see that thing there
- moving around, Bing, I know you're playing
- 53
- 00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,038
- with my face or something.
- 54
- 00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:13,084
- [Bing] Zack over here,
- he's going to crash.
- 55
- 00:05:18,177 --> 00:05:20,056
- [Bing] Come, buddy, come...
- 56
- 00:05:20,516 --> 00:05:22,394
- [man laughing] Oh, my...
- 57
- 00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:24,439
- [Zack] Oh, shit, there's a cop.
- 58
- 00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:27,445
- -[screaming]
- -Hey, no, don't.
- 59
- 00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:28,447
- No, it' fine.
- 60
- 00:05:28,532 --> 00:05:32,080
- -[laughing] Oh, my God!
- -Oh, my God! Oh!
- 61
- 00:05:32,289 --> 00:05:34,794
- -[screaming]
- -What the fuck?
- 62
- 00:05:40,931 --> 00:05:43,102
- Dude, I'm like bleeding.
- It's like in it.
- 63
- 00:05:44,731 --> 00:05:46,233
- [Bing] How long have you known Keire?
- 64
- 00:05:46,568 --> 00:05:49,114
- [Zack] Man, I want to say,
- when I met Keire, he was like 11.
- 65
- 00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:51,578
- He'd-- He'd ride the bus to the park.
- 66
- 00:05:52,663 --> 00:05:54,751
- And then, he'd pretty much
- be stuck at the park.
- 67
- 00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:58,675
- He'd have to ask everyone for money
- so he could get enough for the bus home.
- 68
- 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:02,265
- [Keire] Well, I remember
- the first time I met him,
- 69
- 00:06:02,432 --> 00:06:05,104
- I was standing where the bikers transfer.
- 70
- 00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:08,528
- And this dude hit me,
- like, right in the rib with his pegs.
- 71
- 00:06:08,737 --> 00:06:12,285
- And I remember Zack,
- and he just started screaming at this kid,
- 72
- 00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,874
- "I'm gonna fucking beat your ass,
- like, blah, blah, blah..."
- 73
- 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,003
- So, I was like, I wanna be like that guy.
- 74
- 00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:18,464
- Oh, ho, ho!
- 75
- 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,397
- [Bing] What did you think of me,
- we were growing up
- 76
- 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,566
- and I was filming all of us?
- 77
- 00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:31,658
- [Zack] I thought, it was cool, how you can
- put all these different moments
- 78
- 00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:35,541
- into, like, one long video and just
- make it seem, like, the best time ever.
- 79
- 00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,603
- Oh, God, no! You've been
- filming the whole time?
- 80
- 00:06:38,645 --> 00:06:40,425
- I thought you were
- like, taking a picture.
- 81
- 00:06:49,944 --> 00:06:53,117
- She... She just drove by
- and didn't even care!
- 82
- 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:59,212
- -[Keire] Oh, God! Yes!
- -[Zack] Fuck, yeah!
- 83
- 00:06:59,672 --> 00:07:00,799
- Whoo!
- 84
- 00:07:00,883 --> 00:07:03,847
- [Zack] Skateboarding is more of a family
- than my family.
- 85
- 00:07:04,181 --> 00:07:07,730
- We formed a family together,
- like to look out for each other
- 86
- 00:07:07,813 --> 00:07:10,861
- because no one else
- was looking out for us.
- 87
- 00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:33,865
- [chuckles]
- 88
- 00:07:35,409 --> 00:07:37,372
- No, I'm not jumping in.
- 89
- 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:43,134
- It could be three feet only,
- but, "Oh, shit! I'm drowning."
- 90
- 00:07:45,973 --> 00:07:47,518
- No more smoking weed in the house.
- 91
- 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,020
- -[Keire] Good.
- -There's no more smoking cigarettes
- 92
- 00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:50,398
- -in the house, either.
- -[Keire] Good.
- 93
- 00:07:50,481 --> 00:07:53,070
- Which I tried to break myself up
- a while ago but...
- 94
- 00:07:53,697 --> 00:07:55,116
- There's so much trash on my porch,
- 95
- 00:07:55,199 --> 00:07:57,078
- I'm like, I just can't go back out there
- and smoke.
- 96
- 00:07:58,455 --> 00:08:01,086
- -I don't know. I guess, like...
- -There's just a bunch of boxes...
- 97
- 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,090
- -and baby stuff.
- -It's boxes. It's baby shit.
- 98
- 00:08:03,299 --> 00:08:05,219
- You know how hard
- baby shit is put together?
- 99
- 00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:06,806
- Do you know how ridiculous this shit is?
- 100
- 00:08:07,098 --> 00:08:08,810
- And there's like,
- they are five different language
- 101
- 00:08:08,894 --> 00:08:10,814
- on the instructions, but not English.
- 102
- 00:08:10,981 --> 00:08:14,362
- And I'm like, "Why couldn't I have just
- bought this, I don't understand.
- 103
- 00:08:14,446 --> 00:08:16,743
- Why I had to buy a box
- and put it together."
- 104
- 00:08:16,826 --> 00:08:18,370
- It doesn't make any fucking sense.
- 105
- 00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:20,374
- [Zack] I can't believe that.
- 106
- 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,003
- She's just gonna have the baby.
- 107
- 00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:24,592
- And I'm there, just gonna be like,
- "OK, here's the baby, go home."
- 108
- 00:08:25,051 --> 00:08:26,596
- I feel like, somewhere along the line,
- 109
- 00:08:26,804 --> 00:08:29,017
- there should be like a class
- for this or something,
- 110
- 00:08:29,184 --> 00:08:31,271
- that I should have taken,
- that I'm fucked up.
- 111
- 00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:36,198
- [Keire] I feel like
- life might be moving too fast.
- 112
- 00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:41,332
- We have to fully grow up
- and it's gonna fucking suck.
- 113
- 00:08:43,212 --> 00:08:45,968
- -How'd you do it? Oh, my God!
- -[screaming]
- 114
- 00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:48,974
- Oh, my beer! Oh, God!
- 115
- 00:08:49,391 --> 00:08:50,602
- It's all over you.
- 116
- 00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:52,773
- -Yeah!
- -Oh, shit!
- 117
- 00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,862
- [dog barking]
- 118
- 00:08:58,367 --> 00:08:59,704
- [Zack talking indistinctly]
- 119
- 00:09:00,121 --> 00:09:02,835
- If somebody poked Keire in the eye,
- 120
- 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,882
- -I would freak the fuck out!
- -Poke me in the eye?
- 121
- 00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:07,595
- [man] Oh, you don't poke nigga's
- in the eye?
- 122
- 00:09:08,345 --> 00:09:10,349
- That guy would be mad at you
- for saying "nigga".
- 123
- 00:09:11,143 --> 00:09:13,565
- Fuck him. He poked you
- in the eye. He had it coming.
- 124
- 00:09:13,648 --> 00:09:16,028
- Yeah, he did have it coming.
- He poked me in the eye.
- 125
- 00:09:16,111 --> 00:09:17,823
- -Yeah, fuck that guy.
- -[man laughing]
- 126
- 00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,537
- [Zack] Hey, Kyle, how are you
- gonna get down on the roof?
- 127
- 00:09:20,829 --> 00:09:24,294
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna watch
- the fucking fire works today.
- 128
- 00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:26,966
- -How we're gonna get you down, man?
- -A ladder.
- 129
- 00:09:27,551 --> 00:09:29,930
- We don't have a ladder, Kyle!
- 130
- 00:09:30,264 --> 00:09:34,022
- I'm having a good time, 'cause
- I'm on the top level of my fucking roof.
- 131
- 00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:36,485
- -You want to know why? Guess what, Liu?
- -Keire, this isn't a joke, yo.
- 132
- 00:09:36,569 --> 00:09:38,907
- -It's not a joke. It's America's...
- -You're all the way on my fucking roof.
- 133
- 00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:40,702
- ...fucking birthday, dude.
- 134
- 00:09:40,869 --> 00:09:41,954
- -[man laughing]
- -[Kyle] Guess what?
- 135
- 00:09:42,038 --> 00:09:43,833
- In the land of the fucking free...
- 136
- 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,044
- [Zack] Dude, I'm telling you...
- 137
- 00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,881
- [Kyle] ...I'm on this
- son-of-a-bitching roof, dude.
- 138
- 00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:51,557
- Land of the fucking free,
- on this son bitching roof...
- 139
- 00:09:51,766 --> 00:09:54,689
- Fucking fire works, dude! Yes!
- 140
- 00:09:54,772 --> 00:09:57,402
- -[man] Oh, my God.
- -[Kyle screaming]
- 141
- 00:09:58,070 --> 00:10:01,577
- Happy fucking birthday, dude!
- 142
- 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,832
- [screaming]
- 143
- 00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:06,546
- Oh, my God, Keire.
- 144
- 00:10:07,004 --> 00:10:10,846
- Fuck! Bless America!
- 145
- 00:10:13,977 --> 00:10:15,479
- [baby crying]
- 146
- 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,798
- [Nina] I never thought I'd be OK
- with changing the diaper.
- 147
- 00:10:29,424 --> 00:10:30,927
- But I'm pretty OK with it.
- 148
- 00:10:31,011 --> 00:10:32,263
- [Zack] We've been tag team in it, though.
- 149
- 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:33,641
- So, it's easier.
- 150
- 00:10:34,142 --> 00:10:38,275
- Yeah, it was so funny, because,
- um, I had Zack give the baby a bottle
- 151
- 00:10:38,651 --> 00:10:40,655
- and Keire was like, "Oh, my God,
- 152
- 00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:43,243
- -they're freaking out."
- -Yeah, it weirded him out the whole time.
- 153
- 00:10:43,327 --> 00:10:45,540
- He's like, "I can't believe
- you're actually a dad."
- 154
- 00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:48,505
- [Zack] He is dashing.
- 155
- 00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:52,888
- -[baby crying]
- -Oh, don't be grumpy.
- 156
- 00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:56,102
- [Zack] I would do anything for that kid.
- 157
- 00:10:56,896 --> 00:11:00,862
- I wanna give him every opportunity
- I possibly can, to help him succeed,
- 158
- 00:11:00,946 --> 00:11:02,950
- help him be happy, to be a good person.
- 159
- 00:11:27,749 --> 00:11:31,841
- It's interesting how much having a kid
- would force you to, like, grow up.
- 160
- 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,012
- Like, I can't get home from work,
- 161
- 00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:36,474
- and fucking drink 12 pack,
- like I normally do
- 162
- 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,646
- 'cause, like, what if I have to get up
- and feed the kid, or you know
- 163
- 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,859
- what if something happens, I have
- to take him to the hospital, like...
- 164
- 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,361
- I don't know.
- 165
- 00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:45,660
- Lately I've been having
- a lot of anxiety about...
- 166
- 00:11:46,537 --> 00:11:49,250
- not feeling like a grownup,
- and not feeling like I've...
- 167
- 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,298
- done enough things
- to set my life up properly and...
- 168
- 00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:55,095
- it's time I do something, you know.
- 169
- 00:11:56,389 --> 00:12:00,189
- OK, so, I need you to read over
- all of these, these are the rules
- 170
- 00:12:00,272 --> 00:12:01,817
- of the testing center.
- -OK. OK.
- 171
- 00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:03,487
- "No cellphone, no computer..."
- 172
- 00:12:03,571 --> 00:12:04,447
- OK.
- 173
- 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,244
- -Where do you work at?
- -Um, I'm a roofer.
- 174
- 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,165
- That's hard work.
- 175
- 00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:11,461
- It is. That's why I'm taking this.
- 176
- 00:12:11,545 --> 00:12:12,589
- [nurse chuckles]
- 177
- 00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:20,187
- I couldn't understand
- what they wanted me to do.
- 178
- 00:12:20,647 --> 00:12:23,026
- You know, like,
- the way it was written, I just...
- 179
- 00:12:23,611 --> 00:12:25,364
- I was having trouble,
- I just didn't understand.
- 180
- 00:12:26,617 --> 00:12:27,703
- [sighs] That was rough.
- 181
- 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,054
- How are you today? What time is it?
- 182
- 00:12:40,647 --> 00:12:41,855
- Oh...
- 183
- 00:12:41,939 --> 00:12:43,150
- Fuck. [laughing]
- 184
- 00:12:44,778 --> 00:12:45,864
- Oh, man.
- 185
- 00:12:46,949 --> 00:12:49,412
- I'm at home. Bring me some cigarettes
- and a beer pump, dude.
- 186
- 00:12:49,495 --> 00:12:50,665
- I'll pay you when you get here.
- 187
- 00:12:50,915 --> 00:12:52,753
- Talking about Keire
- and his skateboard, yo,
- 188
- 00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:54,590
- -Keire and his skateboard.
- -Oh! Yeah.
- 189
- 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,011
- -He'll be doing his little thing.
- -All good, cousin.
- 190
- 00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:58,848
- Like, talking shit to him, you know.
- 191
- 00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:01,269
- Being a little, brother,
- you know, being the youngest brother.
- 192
- 00:13:01,729 --> 00:13:03,900
- You know, you got to think--
- but if he wasn't the youngest,
- 193
- 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,196
- he'd probably be running the streets
- with us. You know what I'm saying?
- 194
- 00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:09,452
- All I could say is,
- I'm glad he ain't in the--, uh...
- 195
- 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:13,210
- where I'm at, right now, I got to go do,
- uh, a few days, you know.
- 196
- 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,715
- One thing about that,
- at least, uh, I got an out-date.
- 197
- 00:13:16,049 --> 00:13:17,093
- [chuckles]
- 198
- 00:13:17,594 --> 00:13:18,638
- All right, bro.
- 199
- 00:13:24,273 --> 00:13:26,904
- [Keire humming]
- 200
- 00:13:28,406 --> 00:13:29,743
- Sucks.
- 201
- 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:33,250
- [Roberta] Keire is quite different
- from the others.
- 202
- 00:13:34,628 --> 00:13:36,214
- I think about it a lot.
- 203
- 00:13:37,091 --> 00:13:38,468
- 'Cause I want him to start...
- 204
- 00:13:39,387 --> 00:13:42,519
- getting real serious about
- what he's gonna be doing.
- 205
- 00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:46,861
- [Keire sighs] I turned 18 in November.
- 206
- 00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:50,075
- Ever since then I just feel like,
- I should get a good job
- 207
- 00:13:50,158 --> 00:13:53,206
- or get like, "a" job,
- this "a" job in general.
- 208
- 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,252
- [door creaking]
- 209
- 00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:56,547
- [Keire] But I don't know.
- 210
- 00:13:57,172 --> 00:14:00,137
- I'm becoming a man, and like, I feel like,
- there's something I got fucked over on
- 211
- 00:14:00,555 --> 00:14:04,103
- because, like, my childhood
- was really scary time.
- 212
- 00:14:12,579 --> 00:14:14,666
- Fucking wrong with you?
- Throwing your fucking board at me?
- 213
- 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:16,962
- [man] Hey, kid, what happened?
- 214
- 00:14:18,966 --> 00:14:20,010
- What did he do?
- 215
- 00:14:22,306 --> 00:14:23,517
- Still wanna fight me now?
- 216
- 00:14:27,316 --> 00:14:28,694
- -What happened?
- -You know what?
- 217
- 00:14:29,571 --> 00:14:30,489
- Hey.
- 218
- 00:14:32,076 --> 00:14:32,994
- Yeah.
- 219
- 00:14:33,704 --> 00:14:34,748
- Yeah.
- 220
- 00:14:39,675 --> 00:14:41,845
- [Roberta] Keire, he held in a lot,
- 221
- 00:14:42,597 --> 00:14:44,726
- and his dad, you know,
- 222
- 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,565
- he was really kind of strict on him.
- 223
- 00:14:49,778 --> 00:14:52,491
- You know, his father was,
- he was a carpenter,
- 224
- 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,038
- and he wanted Keire to do that,
- 225
- 00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:58,796
- because he couldn't get the other boys
- to, you know, follow his foot steps.
- 226
- 00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:02,595
- -But Keire didn't like it.
- -[Keire] Damn it!
- 227
- 00:15:07,438 --> 00:15:09,066
- -Yeah!
- -Do it!
- 228
- 00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:13,868
- [Zack] And like, sometimes
- I'd know that I have to work with him.
- 229
- 00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:17,542
- So, I'll sneak out my window,
- like, throw my board out first
- 230
- 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,878
- and just climb out.
- 231
- 00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,132
- Then when I got home,
- 232
- 00:15:21,842 --> 00:15:22,969
- I got disciplined.
- 233
- 00:15:24,346 --> 00:15:26,392
- And then I would go skate for a while.
- 234
- 00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:30,067
- [Bing] How did you get disciplined?
- 235
- 00:15:31,319 --> 00:15:32,321
- Uh...
- 236
- 00:15:34,075 --> 00:15:40,003
- I mean, well, they call it
- child abuse now, but it's, um...
- 237
- 00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,011
- [breathing heavily]
- 238
- 00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:45,723
- Bitch! Uh!
- 239
- 00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:49,731
- [Keire] That shit makes you angry,
- like, oh, God...
- 240
- 00:15:50,273 --> 00:15:55,325
- It, like, it like boils my-- my blood,
- dude, like, uh... fuck.
- 241
- 00:16:03,717 --> 00:16:04,636
- Fuck!
- 242
- 00:16:07,474 --> 00:16:08,561
- [Bing] How bad did it get?
- 243
- 00:16:10,105 --> 00:16:11,232
- Like, did you ever cry?
- 244
- 00:16:12,025 --> 00:16:15,490
- Oh, at first. At first. Like...
- 245
- 00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:18,329
- I mean...
- 246
- 00:16:22,087 --> 00:16:23,089
- Weren't you?
- 247
- 00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:25,302
- [Bing] I did cry.
- 248
- 00:16:27,557 --> 00:16:28,893
- I feel like everybody cries.
- 249
- 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,189
- Is this the board you bought here?
- 250
- 00:16:53,441 --> 00:16:55,362
- -[Bing] Uh...
- -I think you did.
- 251
- 00:16:56,113 --> 00:16:57,324
- A while ago.
- 252
- 00:16:57,742 --> 00:16:59,453
- Remember, we had this board in the shop.
- 253
- 00:17:00,539 --> 00:17:03,879
- I don't buy boards that much anymore,
- 'cause I don't skate that much anymore.
- 254
- 00:17:04,003 --> 00:17:07,051
- Dude, tell me about it.
- I don't skate nearly enough.
- 255
- 00:17:07,929 --> 00:17:10,141
- I don't really remember
- when I first met you.
- 256
- 00:17:11,227 --> 00:17:15,234
- I-- I just, he was just, that kid
- that always there, you know, like...
- 257
- 00:17:17,364 --> 00:17:18,909
- You come into the skate shop...
- 258
- 00:17:19,661 --> 00:17:21,999
- I don't know, we talk about random stuff.
- 259
- 00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,211
- And that happened with a lot of kids.
- 260
- 00:17:24,671 --> 00:17:26,717
- And they could come in
- and be like, yeah, dude...
- 261
- 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,428
- my parents suck or this is going on.
- 262
- 00:17:28,512 --> 00:17:30,265
- and they'd come in unload, you know...
- 263
- 00:17:31,893 --> 00:17:33,897
- But, like, you were introverted.
- 264
- 00:17:34,858 --> 00:17:38,072
- And I didn't know, and I remember,
- think I asked you if you were gay.
- 265
- 00:17:38,406 --> 00:17:39,909
- Do you remember that at all?
- 266
- 00:17:40,452 --> 00:17:41,955
- -[Bing] No.
- -Like, I-- I asked you, like,
- 267
- 00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:44,168
- dude, are you gay, like, what's...
- What do you... You know, like,
- 268
- 00:17:44,251 --> 00:17:47,174
- I knew-- I knew you had some
- huge weight on you.
- 269
- 00:17:48,009 --> 00:17:51,432
- And, you were like, "No, dude," you know.
- 270
- 00:17:52,267 --> 00:17:56,233
- But I can't remember when you opened up
- to me about your mom and stuff.
- 271
- 00:17:56,985 --> 00:18:00,367
- But I-- You never really told me about
- anything about what was going on with you
- 272
- 00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:04,542
- and, I guess,
- in retrospect now, I look at him like,
- 273
- 00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:07,464
- I should've totally figured that out.
- 274
- 00:18:09,009 --> 00:18:11,556
- Like, I could tell, with you
- from the very beginning, like,
- 275
- 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:16,273
- skateboarding meant more to you than just
- being cool and having friends, like...
- 276
- 00:18:18,779 --> 00:18:20,490
- It was your thing to like...
- 277
- 00:18:21,993 --> 00:18:22,912
- get away.
- 278
- 00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,505
- It was kind of a life or death thing.
- 279
- 00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:42,827
- [Zack] To other people it's funny,
- ha-ha-ha, you know,
- 280
- 00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:44,329
- oh, these guys are crazy,
- 281
- 00:18:44,831 --> 00:18:46,543
- but in reality
- I think it's a control thing.
- 282
- 00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:51,636
- You fucking have to control
- the most minute, small details
- 283
- 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,018
- to make you feel normal
- in a world that's not normal.
- 284
- 00:18:59,778 --> 00:19:01,698
- [Keire] It was kind of be like
- a drug in a way.
- 285
- 00:19:01,948 --> 00:19:06,040
- Like, I can seriously be on a verge
- of having a fucking mental breakdown,
- 286
- 00:19:06,123 --> 00:19:10,256
- but as long as I am able to go skate
- then I am completely fine.
- 287
- 00:19:34,597 --> 00:19:35,641
- Yeah!
- 288
- 00:19:58,562 --> 00:19:59,438
- Bravo!
- 289
- 00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:20,104
- Here goes nothing.
- 290
- 00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:40,436
- [Keire] As soon as
- the effect of the drug wears off,
- 291
- 00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:42,190
- this thing just comes back to you.
- 292
- 00:20:49,622 --> 00:20:51,668
- So, what happened?
- Did we get paid yesterday, or...
- 293
- 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,878
- I don't know.
- 294
- 00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:55,801
- I don't know, either.
- 295
- 00:20:56,051 --> 00:20:59,767
- I need my hours, man. I got kids to feed.
- 296
- 00:21:02,982 --> 00:21:05,779
- Dude, my boss is,
- seriously, such an asshole,
- 297
- 00:21:05,863 --> 00:21:08,994
- it is crazy, like...
- Fucking, they're understaffed now,
- 298
- 00:21:09,077 --> 00:21:10,539
- and he just told me to clock out.
- 299
- 00:21:13,962 --> 00:21:16,300
- [Zack] My budget
- is already spent out for a week,
- 300
- 00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:18,179
- so, I'm a week behind every time.
- 301
- 00:21:18,471 --> 00:21:21,477
- So, now, I have to figure out
- how to come up with three extra hours
- 302
- 00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:24,066
- on a schedule that I'm barely fucking on.
- 303
- 00:21:30,954 --> 00:21:33,000
- [man] According to research
- from the University of Illinois,
- 304
- 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:37,258
- about 47 percent of all Rockford workers,
- 60,000 total
- 305
- 00:21:37,635 --> 00:21:39,847
- earn less than $15 per hour.
- 306
- 00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:42,561
- [man #2] Rockford has struggled
- with unemployment for years.
- 307
- 00:21:42,645 --> 00:21:44,189
- Companies have left, so, have the jobs.
- 308
- 00:21:44,272 --> 00:21:45,567
- [woman] Out of all of Illinois,
- 309
- 00:21:45,651 --> 00:21:49,575
- Rockford has seen the largest number
- of people move away since 2010.
- 310
- 00:21:56,421 --> 00:21:58,134
- How many people
- are gonna be at that table?
- 311
- 00:21:58,844 --> 00:22:00,764
- Uh, could be anywhere from 12 to 15.
- 312
- 00:22:01,306 --> 00:22:02,267
- Great.
- 313
- 00:22:03,562 --> 00:22:05,148
- Yeah, you took the hardest one. Good job.
- 314
- 00:22:18,842 --> 00:22:19,802
- There you go.
- 315
- 00:22:20,762 --> 00:22:22,975
- There you go.
- I got you all lined up there.
- 316
- 00:22:24,102 --> 00:22:25,229
- Come on, bud.
- 317
- 00:22:26,231 --> 00:22:27,442
- I feel weird, 'cause like...
- 318
- 00:22:28,402 --> 00:22:29,404
- I don't know.
- 319
- 00:22:29,572 --> 00:22:32,118
- 'Cause I, like, talk to my baby,
- like, baby-voicin'.
- 320
- 00:22:32,202 --> 00:22:33,788
- But, I mean, it's a fucking baby,
- that's how you talk to 'em,
- 321
- 00:22:33,872 --> 00:22:35,291
- you know what I mean?
- I'm not gonna be, like,
- 322
- 00:22:35,374 --> 00:22:38,255
- "All right, Elliot, we're gonna put
- your clothes on, lil' buddy.
- 323
- 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:41,888
- -[woman] Yes.
- -[Zack] Oh, no.
- 324
- 00:22:42,305 --> 00:22:44,977
- [Zack] It's like,
- she works and I watch him
- 325
- 00:22:45,353 --> 00:22:48,568
- or I work and she watches him.
- I-- I don't know. And other than that,
- 326
- 00:22:48,652 --> 00:22:50,154
- we're both pretty much around.
- 327
- 00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:51,406
- All right.
- 328
- 00:22:54,246 --> 00:22:55,248
- Here you go.
- 329
- 00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:58,546
- Is that the action you want?
- Is that the action you want?
- 330
- 00:22:59,172 --> 00:23:01,426
- [Zack] It's a hard enough life,
- being a baby.
- 331
- 00:23:02,345 --> 00:23:03,723
- It's-- It's got to be stressful.
- 332
- 00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,854
- I mean, you save a bunch of time
- by not having to walk
- 333
- 00:23:06,938 --> 00:23:08,399
- and go to the bathroom but...
- 334
- 00:23:09,109 --> 00:23:12,825
- And then someone just cleans it for you,
- someone feeds you every three hours.
- 335
- 00:23:14,704 --> 00:23:18,294
- See, I've been off work all week
- which normally never happens,
- 336
- 00:23:18,670 --> 00:23:22,302
- I haven't left this house in five days
- 'cause I haven't had time to do anything.
- 337
- 00:23:22,761 --> 00:23:25,308
- And I get cooked up, super, super easily,
- 338
- 00:23:25,433 --> 00:23:27,563
- so that, you know,
- it's been driving me nuts.
- 339
- 00:23:28,606 --> 00:23:30,026
- Have you met your uncle, have you?
- 340
- 00:23:30,944 --> 00:23:31,821
- [baby cooing]
- 341
- 00:23:32,948 --> 00:23:34,952
- Hey, mama's here.
- 342
- 00:23:35,746 --> 00:23:36,789
- How was work?
- 343
- 00:23:37,081 --> 00:23:39,587
- -Eh.
- -How was after-work drinks?
- 344
- 00:23:43,636 --> 00:23:45,473
- Jeez, girl. No wonder you're always broke.
- 345
- 00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:47,686
- -Those things are probably like $7.
- -They're $4.
- 346
- 00:23:52,195 --> 00:23:53,364
- All right, are you gonna feed him?
- 347
- 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:57,163
- No, I told you to. I have to, like,
- get ready and meet Jess.
- 348
- 00:23:57,246 --> 00:23:58,666
- What? You did not tell me that.
- 349
- 00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:00,461
- -Yeah, I did...
- -You said, "I'm gonna feed him."
- 350
- 00:24:00,712 --> 00:24:02,549
- You can't just feed him, like,
- 11 hours and now you're going out...
- 351
- 00:24:02,633 --> 00:24:03,676
- You did that to me for five months.
- 352
- 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:04,845
- -to the bar. You can't feed...
- -Five months...
- 353
- 00:24:04,929 --> 00:24:06,682
- -...your fucking kid.
- -...you can't do it one day.
- 354
- 00:24:07,016 --> 00:24:08,603
- You can't feed him, like, what the fuck?
- 355
- 00:24:08,978 --> 00:24:11,526
- I'll feed him the bottle,
- just feed him the solid food.
- 356
- 00:24:11,609 --> 00:24:13,445
- -It's all I want you to do.
- -That bottle's only three ounces
- 357
- 00:24:13,530 --> 00:24:15,282
- they'll drink that in, like five minutes.
- 358
- 00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:17,203
- Then I got to take care of him
- all fucking nights still,
- 359
- 00:24:17,286 --> 00:24:18,790
- -so, why can't you just...
- -I haven't even gotten my fucking
- 360
- 00:24:18,873 --> 00:24:20,376
- -jacket off.
- -Why can't you just feed him?
- 361
- 00:24:20,544 --> 00:24:22,004
- Dude, that's what
- I don't fucking understand.
- 362
- 00:24:22,088 --> 00:24:23,340
- I was stay-at-home mom
- 363
- 00:24:23,424 --> 00:24:26,012
- and you said,
- I work, you take care of Elliot,
- 364
- 00:24:26,263 --> 00:24:27,933
- I did, and now, I'm working...
- 365
- 00:24:28,183 --> 00:24:30,522
- Right, and you show up
- somewhere between eight and nine,
- 366
- 00:24:30,647 --> 00:24:34,655
- -just in-- just in time to put him to bed.
- -That happened twice.
- 367
- 00:24:34,738 --> 00:24:35,866
- -Last night was the only night...
- -I told you...
- 368
- 00:24:35,949 --> 00:24:39,289
- -...you stayed home all fucking week.
- -That's a fucking lie and you know it.
- 369
- 00:24:39,456 --> 00:24:42,546
- -Whatever. You're an idiot. Just go away.
- -No, you're a fucking idiot.
- 370
- 00:24:44,090 --> 00:24:45,092
- [sighs]
- 371
- 00:24:52,608 --> 00:24:53,568
- [door locking]
- 372
- 00:24:54,612 --> 00:24:59,287
- [Zack] I mean, she's like, going through
- something now, she's like newly 21
- 373
- 00:24:59,370 --> 00:25:01,249
- and wants to go out every night.
- 374
- 00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:04,507
- And I told her, I'm like,
- "You had a kid, like, too late."
- 375
- 00:25:04,882 --> 00:25:05,926
- [baby crying]
- 376
- 00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:08,973
- [Zack] I love that girl, I-- You know,
- I do want to be with her.
- 377
- 00:25:09,057 --> 00:25:11,521
- I just want her to chill the fuck out.
- 378
- 00:25:13,566 --> 00:25:16,154
- And feel like,
- it's just been me, like a lot.
- 379
- 00:25:17,114 --> 00:25:19,870
- Well, she gets to go out every night
- and do whatever fuck she wants.
- 380
- 00:25:19,954 --> 00:25:21,707
- It drives me fricking insane.
- 381
- 00:25:23,503 --> 00:25:24,462
- [Zack sighs]
- 382
- 00:25:25,715 --> 00:25:26,842
- [baby cooing]
- 383
- 00:25:50,932 --> 00:25:53,395
- [Keire] My-- My friend, like, messaged me,
- he was like, "Hey,
- 384
- 00:25:53,688 --> 00:25:57,028
- I can get you a job tomorrow,
- like, if you wanted." And I was like,
- 385
- 00:25:57,194 --> 00:26:01,453
- "Yeah." And-- but he's like, "But just
- to warn you, it's really hard work."
- 386
- 00:26:06,463 --> 00:26:08,425
- I don't like telling people
- that I'm a dishwasher,
- 387
- 00:26:08,885 --> 00:26:13,435
- but then again I don't really care, 'cause
- it's like, how I make money. [laughing]
- 388
- 00:26:15,022 --> 00:26:17,193
- It's like definitely my first real job.
- 389
- 00:26:19,238 --> 00:26:21,619
- 'Cause I just don't want to, like, work
- 390
- 00:26:21,869 --> 00:26:25,292
- some, like job I hate
- for the rest of my life.
- 391
- 00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:28,841
- [machinery whirring]
- 392
- 00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:37,274
- The Main Street Skatepark,
- aka the park set.
- 393
- 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,406
- [man] Main Street Skatepark
- was a skatepark
- 394
- 00:26:40,489 --> 00:26:43,161
- I had started with a guy that'd run a gym
- 395
- 00:26:43,245 --> 00:26:46,292
- for a long time and he was looking
- for an extra source of income
- 396
- 00:26:46,544 --> 00:26:48,004
- -during the winter months.
- -[men laughing]
- 397
- 00:26:48,923 --> 00:26:52,973
- [man] You know, I had told him, I have
- all this wood, we could build a skatepark.
- 398
- 00:26:54,350 --> 00:26:57,314
- I'm calling it the Keire box right now
- 'cause it's really weird-shaped and long.
- 399
- 00:26:57,398 --> 00:26:58,358
- Crazy.
- 400
- 00:26:58,776 --> 00:27:00,947
- Dude, what the fuck?
- 401
- 00:27:01,364 --> 00:27:03,076
- That's how Keire
- just walks around, like...
- 402
- 00:27:03,953 --> 00:27:07,293
- Just lanking, like, your arms
- are six feet and funny all the time.
- 403
- 00:27:08,713 --> 00:27:10,215
- We have two-by-fours...
- 404
- 00:27:11,635 --> 00:27:12,971
- OK.
- 405
- 00:27:19,902 --> 00:27:20,779
- Boom.
- 406
- 00:27:23,993 --> 00:27:25,454
- One and two...
- 407
- 00:27:26,749 --> 00:27:28,376
- [Zack] My father was a carpenter.
- 408
- 00:27:28,460 --> 00:27:31,800
- I learned a lot from him
- and a lot from my family.
- 409
- 00:27:33,721 --> 00:27:39,315
- In the 80's, my father started a skatepark
- in my grandmother's roller rink.
- 410
- 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,866
- And, uh, they managed
- the only indoor skatepark in the area
- 411
- 00:27:43,950 --> 00:27:46,079
- for eight years or something like that.
- 412
- 00:27:51,172 --> 00:27:54,345
- I was, kind of raised to, you know,
- like, "Do what you wanna do."
- 413
- 00:27:54,846 --> 00:27:58,270
- And then, somewhere along the line,
- he just, like, flipped the switch,
- 414
- 00:27:58,353 --> 00:28:00,858
- like, wanted to become,
- like, conservative American.
- 415
- 00:28:01,442 --> 00:28:04,323
- All of a sudden, there were
- all these rules and expectations.
- 416
- 00:28:05,577 --> 00:28:11,379
- They were, like, pushing me into this mold
- of someone they thought was a good person.
- 417
- 00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:15,429
- And I'm like, "Fuck that."
- Like, I remember one of... you know,
- 418
- 00:28:15,513 --> 00:28:17,726
- when I was a kid, like,
- we've fucking sung punk music
- 419
- 00:28:17,809 --> 00:28:20,523
- and fucking smoking joints
- and, like, you know, like, fuck that.
- 420
- 00:28:36,054 --> 00:28:39,226
- [Zack] All right, fine. I'll man-- I'll find
- a babysitter then and then fuck you.
- 421
- 00:28:39,310 --> 00:28:40,563
- I guess I'll talk to you later.
- 422
- 00:28:40,647 --> 00:28:43,276
- First of all, you're supposed to have
- until six p. m., so, I get my Saturday--
- 423
- 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:44,696
- You knew since Monday
- 424
- 00:28:44,780 --> 00:28:46,575
- -that I had plans for that.
- -Yo, it's that you shouldn't have
- 425
- 00:28:46,659 --> 00:28:49,706
- fucking made plans for a Saturday
- because this is supposed to be my day.
- 426
- 00:28:50,248 --> 00:28:52,712
- -So, you... you get days off...
- -I never get a day to myself.
- 427
- 00:28:52,796 --> 00:28:54,131
- -...all the time...
- -No, I don't.
- 428
- 00:28:54,215 --> 00:28:55,968
- -I only get two days off a week.
- -When do I ever get a day to myself?
- 429
- 00:28:56,052 --> 00:28:59,726
- -This is supposed to be my day, today.
- -OK, bye, Nina.
- 430
- 00:29:01,354 --> 00:29:02,439
- [Zack sighs]
- 431
- 00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:06,615
- Ain't that just the way.
- 432
- 00:29:08,326 --> 00:29:10,998
- [Bing] Do you and Nina ever, like,
- just tried talking it out?
- 433
- 00:29:15,006 --> 00:29:16,092
- Successfully?
- 434
- 00:29:17,136 --> 00:29:18,012
- Nope.
- 435
- 00:29:25,570 --> 00:29:27,574
- -She's just so excited.
- -I know.
- 436
- 00:29:28,576 --> 00:29:32,124
- He's had a good day, we're just
- playing outside and doing fun stuff, huh?
- 437
- 00:29:32,207 --> 00:29:33,501
- We have a fire going.
- 438
- 00:29:33,669 --> 00:29:35,255
- Oh, yeah. You wanna put some boards on it?
- 439
- 00:29:35,338 --> 00:29:36,800
- -Yeah.
- -OK. I'll hold the baby,
- 440
- 00:29:36,884 --> 00:29:38,011
- you put some boards on there.
- 441
- 00:29:40,933 --> 00:29:42,937
- [Nina] Me and Zack just fought a lot.
- 442
- 00:29:43,021 --> 00:29:47,029
- Eventually, I just had to leave,
- I'm like, "I can't do this anymore."
- 443
- 00:29:48,364 --> 00:29:49,325
- Look at Mama.
- 444
- 00:29:49,618 --> 00:29:51,329
- [Nina] Especially being a mom,
- 445
- 00:29:51,412 --> 00:29:54,084
- you don't want to see your kid
- in an environment like that.
- 446
- 00:29:55,420 --> 00:29:57,216
- -That should be good, right.
- -Yup.
- 447
- 00:29:57,759 --> 00:29:59,513
- [Nina] I don't really have anywhere to go.
- 448
- 00:29:59,596 --> 00:30:02,142
- And my aunt and uncle
- just wound up being, like,
- 449
- 00:30:02,226 --> 00:30:03,854
- "Hey, we want to help you."
- 450
- 00:30:05,315 --> 00:30:06,527
- -Down there?
- -Yeah.
- 451
- 00:30:07,194 --> 00:30:10,325
- [Nina] In a perfect world,
- it means, I could still be together.
- 452
- 00:30:11,912 --> 00:30:14,668
- But I don't know.
- Like I wanted to work out with him.
- 453
- 00:30:15,210 --> 00:30:16,588
- He just doesn't get it.
- 454
- 00:30:23,686 --> 00:30:26,107
- [Bing] I feel, like, a lot
- of our parents are not together.
- 455
- 00:30:26,567 --> 00:30:27,694
- Were your parents divorced?
- 456
- 00:30:32,202 --> 00:30:34,498
- [Roberta] Well, he stayed with his dad,
- 457
- 00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:37,379
- because, he told me,
- he could raise him better
- 458
- 00:30:37,881 --> 00:30:40,636
- because he could teach him things
- that I couldn't.
- 459
- 00:30:41,429 --> 00:30:42,472
- [straining]
- 460
- 00:30:43,726 --> 00:30:45,897
- I really hope
- that I don't get back in there
- 461
- 00:30:45,980 --> 00:30:48,276
- and there'd be,
- like, the same amount of boxes.
- 462
- 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,196
- [gasping]
- 463
- 00:30:51,658 --> 00:30:53,537
- [Keire] You know,
- like, I live with my dad,
- 464
- 00:30:54,163 --> 00:30:57,461
- but he kept trying to make me work
- like every single weekend.
- 465
- 00:30:58,463 --> 00:31:01,511
- You know, I was like, "Come on, like,
- I got to skate. I got to skate."
- 466
- 00:31:01,595 --> 00:31:04,141
- Fuck, then we got into, like a fight.
- 467
- 00:31:05,393 --> 00:31:07,481
- He was, like, I'm your dad,
- like you're going to work,
- 468
- 00:31:07,607 --> 00:31:09,276
- and I was just, like, "No."
- 469
- 00:31:09,903 --> 00:31:11,322
- Then I tried to punch him.
- 470
- 00:31:14,495 --> 00:31:17,209
- And then I moved out, like, the next day.
- 471
- 00:31:21,677 --> 00:31:25,643
- Actually, one of the last things
- I said to my dad was that, "I hate you."
- 472
- 00:31:28,774 --> 00:31:31,487
- I was just so fucking angry,
- 'cause he just kicked my ass.
- 473
- 00:31:36,790 --> 00:31:37,917
- [Bing] Did you see
- any violence in your household
- 474
- 00:31:38,001 --> 00:31:39,128
- when you were growing up?
- 475
- 00:31:40,506 --> 00:31:41,633
- I don't know, man. It's...
- 476
- 00:31:41,717 --> 00:31:43,136
- That's a tough question, it's hard--
- 477
- 00:31:43,219 --> 00:31:45,641
- It depends on
- what you determine as violent.
- 478
- 00:31:48,104 --> 00:31:50,025
- Like, when I was a kid,
- if I was fucking up...
- 479
- 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,987
- [baby cooing]
- 480
- 00:31:52,070 --> 00:31:56,454
- ...I got my ass whooped.
- I feel like everyone does. I mean...
- 481
- 00:31:59,878 --> 00:32:01,757
- Some people got it worse
- than other people.
- 482
- 00:32:39,331 --> 00:32:40,291
- [sighs]
- 483
- 00:32:50,228 --> 00:32:51,105
- Yeah.
- 484
- 00:32:54,403 --> 00:32:56,867
- This is my dad's closet, specifically,
- 485
- 00:32:57,284 --> 00:33:00,123
- and he'd hide everything right here.
- 486
- 00:33:00,916 --> 00:33:06,553
- Like, my PlayStation controllers,
- entire computers, toys,
- 487
- 00:33:07,053 --> 00:33:11,771
- and then his vintage porn was, like,
- in the corner right there in-- in a stack.
- 488
- 00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:15,403
- Along with, like...
- 489
- 00:33:16,155 --> 00:33:19,537
- several firearms that were on the floor.
- 490
- 00:33:23,252 --> 00:33:26,509
- I used to judge my relationship
- with my father based on, like,
- 491
- 00:33:26,968 --> 00:33:28,680
- a day-to-day basis on...
- 492
- 00:33:28,931 --> 00:33:32,187
- how many things I've done to piss him off
- in that given day.
- 493
- 00:33:32,688 --> 00:33:36,237
- And this day that I was here
- playing on the computer,
- 494
- 00:33:36,613 --> 00:33:39,744
- felt like a good day,
- that I hadn't done anything wrong,
- 495
- 00:33:40,161 --> 00:33:42,792
- it all went without a hitch,
- we hadn't talked very much,
- 496
- 00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:45,088
- there wasn't much opportunity
- for me to do anything bad,
- 497
- 00:33:46,131 --> 00:33:47,425
- but then he just comes in...
- 498
- 00:33:48,261 --> 00:33:50,599
- looks at me, I turn up and look at him...
- 499
- 00:33:52,102 --> 00:33:54,941
- and he just says that,
- I "look fucking stupid."
- 500
- 00:33:55,901 --> 00:33:58,030
- And he walks out, and I thought
- that was the end of it
- 501
- 00:33:58,114 --> 00:34:00,118
- I was like,
- "Oh, well, OK, that's not too bad"
- 502
- 00:34:00,368 --> 00:34:03,709
- but then he comes back in
- with a pair of, like meat scissors
- 503
- 00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:07,257
- and he just starts,
- he just like grabs my head
- 504
- 00:34:07,424 --> 00:34:09,136
- and starts hacking my hair off.
- 505
- 00:34:20,993 --> 00:34:23,039
- Always shut the doors because...
- 506
- 00:34:24,041 --> 00:34:27,339
- you know, it keeps the-- [clears throat]
- keeps the heat in...
- 507
- 00:34:29,635 --> 00:34:32,306
- That was another thing worth punishing.
- 508
- 00:34:37,610 --> 00:34:38,485
- [Bing] Where's your room?
- 509
- 00:34:39,029 --> 00:34:41,743
- Oh, my room? That's right.
- This used to be my brother's room.
- 510
- 00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:47,210
- Uh, that's true.
- 511
- 00:34:47,291 --> 00:34:49,299
- Um, yeah.
- 512
- 00:34:50,552 --> 00:34:51,428
- [sighs]
- 513
- 00:34:52,097 --> 00:34:54,309
- I remember hearing beating...
- 514
- 00:34:54,976 --> 00:34:58,067
- and, like screaming
- coming from your room, and it was like...
- 515
- 00:35:00,698 --> 00:35:06,417
- unnerving screams of, like,
- anguish almost, and I... it was like...
- 516
- 00:35:10,801 --> 00:35:15,769
- really, really unnerving.
- It was almost scaring.
- 517
- 00:35:22,323 --> 00:35:23,284
- [sighs]
- 518
- 00:35:33,053 --> 00:35:33,930
- Mom?
- 519
- 00:35:37,287 --> 00:35:39,316
- Yeah, I have to wash my clothes
- and my blankets.
- 520
- 00:35:41,886 --> 00:35:44,366
- And my-- my blanket. I just need two.
- 521
- 00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:45,411
- [sniffles]
- 522
- 00:35:47,408 --> 00:35:48,918
- OK.
- 523
- 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,631
- [sniffles] Thank you
- 524
- 00:35:50,714 --> 00:35:52,258
- [man] Use it for one. I need two hours.
- 525
- 00:35:52,342 --> 00:35:54,346
- -OK. Thank you.
- -[man] All right.
- 526
- 00:35:56,183 --> 00:36:00,734
- [Keire] My mom has this new boyfriend,
- and I don't really like him.
- 527
- 00:36:05,828 --> 00:36:09,084
- [Bing] So, do you have
- a new man in your life?
- 528
- 00:36:10,169 --> 00:36:11,965
- -A new man in my life?
- -Yeah.
- 529
- 00:36:13,008 --> 00:36:15,806
- Hey, ain't this sort of personal there?
- 530
- 00:36:25,408 --> 00:36:26,368
- Oh...
- 531
- 00:36:29,165 --> 00:36:30,167
- Yeah?
- 532
- 00:36:33,173 --> 00:36:34,635
- I'll be back in a minute.
- 533
- 00:36:39,394 --> 00:36:43,820
- ♪ Happy birthday, dear Elliot... ♪
- 534
- 00:36:44,195 --> 00:36:49,039
- ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
- 535
- 00:36:49,205 --> 00:36:50,918
- [crowd cheering]
- 536
- 00:36:51,586 --> 00:36:53,506
- [woman] He said, "What the heck?"
- 537
- 00:36:55,761 --> 00:36:56,763
- [woman] Zack, look up.
- 538
- 00:36:57,598 --> 00:36:59,602
- [indistinct chatter]
- 539
- 00:37:01,063 --> 00:37:03,359
- Oh, hell, yeah.
- It's all up in there, Zack.
- 540
- 00:37:04,987 --> 00:37:07,910
- [Nina] My family, when I grew up,
- we were all were very distant.
- 541
- 00:37:09,622 --> 00:37:13,797
- It was very chaotic and I'd just stay
- in my room the whole time.
- 542
- 00:37:15,842 --> 00:37:21,144
- I think, 'cause of the way that I grew up,
- like I really desperately craved love.
- 543
- 00:37:28,952 --> 00:37:31,331
- [Zack] I think my dad had me
- when he was 21
- 544
- 00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:35,882
- and my mom left
- when I was, like two or something.
- 545
- 00:37:37,928 --> 00:37:42,228
- And so, I think, I was always looking
- for something from my dad
- 546
- 00:37:42,311 --> 00:37:43,732
- that I didn't get.
- 547
- 00:37:44,315 --> 00:37:46,571
- Like, maybe something
- I was supposed to get from my mom.
- 548
- 00:37:47,113 --> 00:37:49,952
- I know. It's OK, it's OK.
- Elliot, rip that off.
- 549
- 00:37:51,246 --> 00:37:53,960
- [crowd cheering]
- 550
- 00:37:54,879 --> 00:37:55,964
- [man whistling]
- 551
- 00:37:56,048 --> 00:37:57,216
- [woman] All right!
- 552
- 00:38:01,349 --> 00:38:02,310
- [Zack] Hi, baby.
- 553
- 00:38:04,272 --> 00:38:06,026
- I love you. Give me a hug.
- 554
- 00:38:09,700 --> 00:38:12,038
- -Love you, Nina.
- -I was telling Bing about how you went
- 555
- 00:38:12,121 --> 00:38:14,000
- on a date with Katie
- and I almost killed her.
- 556
- 00:38:14,835 --> 00:38:16,171
- -Yeah.
- -It was bad.
- 557
- 00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:18,425
- You know, like,
- I'd usually don't get like that.
- 558
- 00:38:18,718 --> 00:38:23,310
- She showed up at 11 o'clock at night
- with this other girl, ready to fight.
- 559
- 00:38:24,897 --> 00:38:27,945
- See this, you see what I'm dealing with
- all the time. This little bitch.
- 560
- 00:38:30,324 --> 00:38:32,328
- [Zack] Oh! Oh, yeah. Real slick there.
- 561
- 00:38:37,673 --> 00:38:39,844
- -[man screaming] Fuck!
- -[crowd cheering]
- 562
- 00:38:41,973 --> 00:38:43,810
- -God bless you.
- -All right, man.
- 563
- 00:38:45,187 --> 00:38:46,064
- Do this.
- 564
- 00:38:49,154 --> 00:38:50,156
- [man] Oh!
- 565
- 00:38:50,740 --> 00:38:52,160
- -Fuck, yeah!
- -That trick made me wanna
- 566
- 00:38:52,243 --> 00:38:54,372
- touch my body, Keire. I'm not gonna lie.
- 567
- 00:38:54,455 --> 00:38:56,544
- Like, you wanna take a shower. [laughing]
- 568
- 00:38:57,796 --> 00:38:59,800
- -Oh, my God.
- -Holy fuck.
- 569
- 00:39:00,342 --> 00:39:02,848
- -That looks fucked up.
- -That was crazy.
- 570
- 00:39:03,182 --> 00:39:06,856
- [Keire] Like, this is the result of,
- all those times I've ran away from home
- 571
- 00:39:06,939 --> 00:39:07,858
- to the skate park.
- 572
- 00:39:08,860 --> 00:39:12,241
- Like, I'd love for my dad to see
- how much progress I've made
- 573
- 00:39:12,325 --> 00:39:14,580
- since I was a little shithead
- trying to escape it.
- 574
- 00:39:15,164 --> 00:39:16,667
- Uh, it would bother me.
- 575
- 00:39:17,126 --> 00:39:18,880
- [Keire] Maybe,
- he'd just be like, "Oh, damn,
- 576
- 00:39:18,963 --> 00:39:21,384
- you weren't just wasting
- your-- your life.
- 577
- 00:39:24,558 --> 00:39:27,021
- [Zack] I know
- their relationship's definitely strained,
- 578
- 00:39:27,898 --> 00:39:30,904
- and I don't think Keire really realized
- how much his dad meant to him
- 579
- 00:39:30,987 --> 00:39:32,991
- until his dad actually did pass away.
- 580
- 00:39:39,128 --> 00:39:40,715
- [Keire] The day that my dad died,
- 581
- 00:39:41,383 --> 00:39:45,015
- uh, I just got out of school,
- it was, like a Friday,
- 582
- 00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:49,023
- and... I just got off the bus...
- 583
- 00:39:49,775 --> 00:39:51,529
- My mom was just, like freaking out,
- 584
- 00:39:51,612 --> 00:39:53,616
- as soon as I got home,
- she was, like, freaking out.
- 585
- 00:39:54,492 --> 00:39:57,833
- And she was like, "He's gone, he's gone."
- And I didn't wanna, like, believe it
- 586
- 00:39:57,916 --> 00:40:00,337
- so, I was all mad at her
- for, like, saying that.
- 587
- 00:40:00,421 --> 00:40:03,302
- I was like, "Dad's strong, he's not dead,
- I was like, whatever."
- 588
- 00:40:04,345 --> 00:40:07,686
- And... they, like brought him out
- on that stretcher...
- 589
- 00:40:07,769 --> 00:40:11,067
- and I was just, like, "Holy fuck!" Like...
- 590
- 00:40:11,652 --> 00:40:13,614
- He actually looks
- kind of dead right there.
- 591
- 00:40:14,324 --> 00:40:18,373
- And I was just like, "Fuck," and...
- I don't know, it's just...
- 592
- 00:40:21,589 --> 00:40:22,758
- I don't know. Uh...
- 593
- 00:40:24,260 --> 00:40:25,722
- It's-- It's weird, it's just...
- 594
- 00:40:26,891 --> 00:40:29,855
- It's just really difficult to...
- for me to explain right now.
- 595
- 00:40:47,933 --> 00:40:49,937
- -Hey.
- -Well, hey, there, bud.
- 596
- 00:40:53,569 --> 00:40:55,573
- [indistinct chatter]
- 597
- 00:40:56,449 --> 00:40:58,120
- Ready? Come play with Daddy.
- 598
- 00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,921
- Buddy, like this. Just one finger.
- 599
- 00:41:03,798 --> 00:41:04,716
- Just one.
- 600
- 00:41:23,629 --> 00:41:24,882
- [Zack] Hold him like this real fast.
- 601
- 00:41:24,965 --> 00:41:26,594
- All right. I'll hold him
- for a second just do your thing.
- 602
- 00:41:26,677 --> 00:41:28,054
- Come on. Yeah, come here.
- 603
- 00:41:38,033 --> 00:41:39,243
- Yeah!
- 604
- 00:41:40,622 --> 00:41:42,208
- We're gonna make it to the poles.
- 605
- 00:41:42,876 --> 00:41:45,088
- We're gonna make it! Whoo!
- 606
- 00:42:06,507 --> 00:42:09,470
- [Bing] Uh, what--
- what have you guys been up to?
- 607
- 00:42:10,765 --> 00:42:14,940
- [Zack] Uh... lately we've been
- adjusting to, uh...
- 608
- 00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:19,448
- I don't know. Like, I-- I asked
- if I can see my son, like every day
- 609
- 00:42:19,533 --> 00:42:21,870
- and I only get to see him, like,
- three times a week.
- 610
- 00:42:21,954 --> 00:42:23,916
- It's really been bugging me out,
- and she's been like...
- 611
- 00:42:24,793 --> 00:42:26,505
- She's talking lot of shit, you know,
- 612
- 00:42:26,589 --> 00:42:29,761
- telling me, you're piece of shit
- and all the stuff, and...
- 613
- 00:42:30,638 --> 00:42:32,767
- -It-- It got out of control, man...
- -So...
- 614
- 00:42:32,851 --> 00:42:35,355
- -I don't know.
- -This is the video.
- 615
- 00:42:36,984 --> 00:42:39,488
- [Nina screaming]
- 616
- 00:42:42,537 --> 00:42:45,083
- 'Cause I hate you
- and I'll fucking stab you.
- 617
- 00:42:45,292 --> 00:42:47,631
- I will fucking stab you
- with the fucking knife, Zack.
- 618
- 00:42:47,797 --> 00:42:51,597
- -Fucking die! Die! Die!
- -[Zack] Knock it off!
- 619
- 00:42:52,306 --> 00:42:55,354
- -This is so fucking??
- -[Nina] Get off of me!
- 620
- 00:42:55,730 --> 00:42:56,940
- [Zack] Then stop it!
- 621
- 00:42:57,483 --> 00:42:59,821
- -[Nina] Die! Die!
- -[Zack] Not gonna stop?
- 622
- 00:43:00,155 --> 00:43:03,829
- [Nina] You're doing this... it's like
- you want me to fucking kill you.
- 623
- 00:43:05,374 --> 00:43:07,211
- 'Cause you're asking for it!
- 624
- 00:43:09,591 --> 00:43:12,514
- [Bing] Keire showed me some recordings
- of you and Zack fighting.
- 625
- 00:43:12,931 --> 00:43:14,141
- I bet, he did.
- 626
- 00:43:14,601 --> 00:43:17,481
- [Bing] What--
- What were those fights about?
- 627
- 00:43:17,565 --> 00:43:19,485
- What were they like?
- 628
- 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:21,406
- Well...
- 629
- 00:43:22,157 --> 00:43:24,286
- If he showed you the one where,
- I'm like, Zack,
- 630
- 00:43:24,370 --> 00:43:26,124
- -I'm gonna fucking kill you right now.
- -Yeah.
- 631
- 00:43:26,834 --> 00:43:30,424
- He beat my ass 10 minutes
- before Keire took that video
- 632
- 00:43:30,508 --> 00:43:32,762
- and he didn't decide to record that part.
- 633
- 00:43:33,597 --> 00:43:36,269
- You know, I've got a scar
- going down my eyebrow.
- 634
- 00:43:36,394 --> 00:43:40,945
- I've got... He broke his coffee tables
- with my body, like...
- 635
- 00:43:42,574 --> 00:43:44,953
- Obviously, I'm not in the state of mind,
- 636
- 00:43:45,036 --> 00:43:47,792
- like, I'm not... I'm going crazy
- at this point
- 637
- 00:43:47,876 --> 00:43:50,673
- because I'm a little girl,
- you know, what I mean?
- 638
- 00:43:51,048 --> 00:43:53,386
- And you have wasted Zack...
- 639
- 00:43:54,305 --> 00:43:57,937
- doing all that and then it's like,
- yeah, I'm gonna... yeah, like...
- 640
- 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,235
- of course I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna
- fucking kill you if you-- you know.
- 641
- 00:44:02,154 --> 00:44:03,114
- I don't know.
- 642
- 00:44:03,866 --> 00:44:06,120
- [Bing] I didn't know that?
- Why did he... Why was he hitting?
- 643
- 00:44:06,872 --> 00:44:08,793
- Uh, he gets wasted.
- 644
- 00:44:09,502 --> 00:44:11,548
- He, you know, will start fighting
- 645
- 00:44:11,632 --> 00:44:14,261
- and then he'll take it
- completely out of control and...
- 646
- 00:44:15,973 --> 00:44:20,273
- That, I mean, that's not the first time
- it's happened, either that recording...
- 647
- 00:44:20,650 --> 00:44:24,031
- and I mean, I've been like
- pretty, like, bruised up
- 648
- 00:44:24,114 --> 00:44:27,204
- like, I'd have, like a... From him, like,
- hitting me and like,
- 649
- 00:44:27,287 --> 00:44:31,045
- I'd have, like a huge bruise
- and like, just all over and then...
- 650
- 00:44:31,462 --> 00:44:35,136
- You know, he'd like, see them the next day
- and he, like, wouldn't even say anything
- 651
- 00:44:35,220 --> 00:44:37,182
- like, not even a sorry or...
- 652
- 00:44:38,268 --> 00:44:39,186
- anything like that.
- 653
- 00:44:40,731 --> 00:44:43,361
- We just kind of ignore it
- like it didn't happen.
- 654
- 00:44:47,871 --> 00:44:48,747
- So...
- 655
- 00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:05,363
- In a way, your footage will offset
- with my footage because...
- 656
- 00:45:05,823 --> 00:45:09,706
- this is the only time that I haven't shot
- in the movie, so, it's like it...
- 657
- 00:45:10,123 --> 00:45:13,881
- You know, so, like, even when
- during the interview, when you're, like,
- 658
- 00:45:13,964 --> 00:45:16,427
- shoot me, getting
- my reaction shots, it'll, like...
- 659
- 00:45:17,054 --> 00:45:18,056
- I don't know.
- 660
- 00:45:20,477 --> 00:45:22,941
- We moved to Rockford
- when I was eight or nine.
- 661
- 00:45:23,358 --> 00:45:25,988
- And my mom met my step father...
- 662
- 00:45:26,573 --> 00:45:30,288
- One day when she was working
- at the pizza restaurant, this man came in.
- 663
- 00:45:30,413 --> 00:45:32,835
- He had been a regular,
- he had seen her before.
- 664
- 00:45:33,378 --> 00:45:37,845
- Um, and he started getting to know her
- and then one day he followed her home,
- 665
- 00:45:38,262 --> 00:45:40,935
- found out where we lived and...
- 666
- 00:45:46,112 --> 00:45:47,489
- then he became my step dad.
- 667
- 00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:53,794
- But, um...
- 668
- 00:45:54,671 --> 00:45:59,054
- Uh, you know, I think I was blaming her
- for, sort of abandoning me
- 669
- 00:45:59,138 --> 00:46:00,432
- when I was a kid.
- 670
- 00:46:31,410 --> 00:46:33,414
- [indistinct conversation]
- 671
- 00:46:37,339 --> 00:46:40,679
- Mom, can you, uh, can you clap your hands
- just in front of your face?
- 672
- 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:42,642
- OK.
- 673
- 00:46:43,727 --> 00:46:44,729
- [Bing chuckles]
- 674
- 00:46:44,813 --> 00:46:47,400
- -What's that for?
- -It's for a sound thing for later.
- 675
- 00:46:47,610 --> 00:46:49,196
- -Oh.
- -Can you see my face OK?
- 676
- 00:46:49,572 --> 00:46:52,870
- -[stammers] No... Now is OK.
- -No? OK.
- 677
- 00:46:52,995 --> 00:46:55,041
- I'll just try it to hold it here for now.
- 678
- 00:46:55,166 --> 00:46:58,674
- Now, [mumbles], I can see your eye.
- [indistinct]
- 679
- 00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:00,970
- I know, it's hard with all the lights.
- I'm sorry.
- 680
- 00:47:01,972 --> 00:47:05,353
- Um, so, I'm curious, uh...
- 681
- 00:47:05,938 --> 00:47:07,942
- -Who is Dennis?
- -[man] Hold on a second.
- 682
- 00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:08,902
- -Oh!
- -[man] I'm sorry.
- 683
- 00:47:10,948 --> 00:47:11,825
- [man] OK.
- 684
- 00:47:12,242 --> 00:47:13,745
- "Who is Dennis?"
- 685
- 00:47:13,912 --> 00:47:15,583
- Why did you ask that?
- 686
- 00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:19,507
- -Uh, because...
- -You know who he is.
- 687
- 00:47:23,139 --> 00:47:25,226
- Well, I don't feel like I know who he is.
- 688
- 00:47:28,775 --> 00:47:32,115
- Did you know that, um...
- 689
- 00:47:33,242 --> 00:47:36,415
- the first time I was ever alone with him,
- that's when he...
- 690
- 00:47:37,334 --> 00:47:38,629
- -grabbed me.
- -You...
- 691
- 00:47:38,921 --> 00:47:40,173
- He did-- Wait, what?
- 692
- 00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:45,601
- The first time I was ever alone with him,
- was the first time he grabbed me.
- 693
- 00:47:45,726 --> 00:47:46,937
- -And hit you?
- -Beat me. Yeah.
- 694
- 00:47:49,274 --> 00:47:52,239
- I mean, how much did you know about
- what was happening?
- 695
- 00:47:52,907 --> 00:47:54,911
- -Because you were always gone working
- -Right, right.
- 696
- 00:47:54,994 --> 00:47:59,378
- Because he retired pretty soon after you,
- you and him married.
- 697
- 00:47:59,545 --> 00:48:01,508
- -Right.
- -So, you weren't home that much.
- 698
- 00:48:01,591 --> 00:48:03,094
- I was just with him.
- 699
- 00:48:03,679 --> 00:48:05,306
- I think...
- 700
- 00:48:07,185 --> 00:48:08,563
- [sighs]
- 701
- 00:48:08,855 --> 00:48:12,237
- I don't-- I don't know
- what else to say now.
- 702
- 00:48:12,613 --> 00:48:17,330
- I wish I can go over, do again,
- do differently, but...
- 703
- 00:48:17,832 --> 00:48:21,088
- I-- I really...
- I don't know what else to say now.
- 704
- 00:48:21,213 --> 00:48:23,510
- It's all past. I-- I...
- 705
- 00:48:24,971 --> 00:48:28,394
- [sighs] I would not.
- I don't know it was that bad.
- 706
- 00:48:28,770 --> 00:48:31,526
- I don't know he's that bad
- especially behind me.
- 707
- 00:48:33,739 --> 00:48:37,162
- I was... [groans]
- 708
- 00:48:38,832 --> 00:48:41,880
- I wish I was stronger and I wasn't.
- 709
- 00:48:42,172 --> 00:48:45,763
- I don't know. I-- I-- I...
- 710
- 00:48:48,685 --> 00:48:50,856
- I don't know what else to say.
- 711
- 00:48:54,279 --> 00:48:55,365
- Well...
- 712
- 00:48:57,035 --> 00:48:58,663
- Did you-- I mean...
- 713
- 00:48:59,540 --> 00:49:01,502
- But didn't he...
- 714
- 00:49:01,795 --> 00:49:05,093
- [stammering] When was the first time
- that he hurt you?
- 715
- 00:49:06,011 --> 00:49:08,809
- I don't know what happened.
- He come to choke me.
- 716
- 00:49:11,564 --> 00:49:13,568
- Yeah, he has, few times.
- 717
- 00:49:31,722 --> 00:49:32,757
- ...and they showed up.
- 718
- 00:49:40,622 --> 00:49:44,421
- -So...
- -But the thing is, I was as I tell you,
- 719
- 00:49:46,133 --> 00:49:47,636
- with him...
- 720
- 00:50:28,425 --> 00:50:30,973
- [female newscaster] The city of Rockford
- is ranked as the number two
- 721
- 00:50:31,098 --> 00:50:33,687
- most dangerous city with a population
- under 200,000 people.
- 722
- 00:50:34,104 --> 00:50:35,857
- [woman #2] Last year,
- the Department of Justice
- 723
- 00:50:35,941 --> 00:50:39,281
- created a 63-page report just for Rockford
- 724
- 00:50:39,364 --> 00:50:41,451
- to help it
- with it's violent crime problem.
- 725
- 00:50:41,536 --> 00:50:45,627
- The Rockford police department presenting
- final crime statistics for 2015.
- 726
- 00:50:45,794 --> 00:50:47,673
- About a fourth of that violent crime
- 727
- 00:50:47,756 --> 00:50:50,344
- can be attributed to
- domestic violence incidents.
- 728
- 00:50:57,442 --> 00:51:00,532
- [exhales, sighs, burps]
- 729
- 00:51:01,199 --> 00:51:02,995
- You know what I found out today?
- 730
- 00:51:03,162 --> 00:51:05,626
- Skateboarding thought me
- how to be passionate.
- 731
- 00:51:06,168 --> 00:51:08,840
- -That's where it all started.
- -That's where it all started.
- 732
- 00:51:09,132 --> 00:51:10,510
- -Yup.
- -[man laughing]
- 733
- 00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,890
- -I'm telling you.
- -I didn't mean to laugh at you.
- 734
- 00:51:13,182 --> 00:51:14,935
- It's all right. I knew that
- you were probably just kidding.
- 735
- 00:51:15,227 --> 00:51:16,981
- I don't like emotions.
- 736
- 00:51:19,402 --> 00:51:21,114
- And so, I mean, I'm like my dad,
- 737
- 00:51:21,198 --> 00:51:22,408
- [heavy voice] "There is no such thing
- as emotions.
- 738
- 00:51:22,492 --> 00:51:24,538
- Only work. Get back to it."
- 739
- 00:51:25,206 --> 00:51:27,502
- [chuckles] "If you work hard enough,
- 740
- 00:51:27,711 --> 00:51:29,590
- -all of your problems will go away.
- -[cell phone ringing]
- 741
- 00:51:31,051 --> 00:51:32,428
- [ringing continues]
- 742
- 00:51:34,307 --> 00:51:35,226
- Hello?
- 743
- 00:51:35,936 --> 00:51:37,438
- [female speaking indistinctly]
- 744
- 00:51:38,107 --> 00:51:40,194
- All right. I'll be there in, like,
- five minutes. Hold on.
- 745
- 00:51:41,279 --> 00:51:42,700
- -[man] Zack?
- -Mmm.
- 746
- 00:51:42,866 --> 00:51:44,285
- I thought you weren't with Nina anymore.
- 747
- 00:51:48,293 --> 00:51:50,464
- Um, not really.
- 748
- 00:51:51,174 --> 00:51:52,511
- We do a lot of talking.
- 749
- 00:51:54,431 --> 00:51:55,433
- [music playing on radio]
- 750
- 00:51:55,517 --> 00:51:56,519
- How's work?
- 751
- 00:51:57,145 --> 00:51:58,188
- [Nina] Good...
- 752
- 00:51:59,399 --> 00:52:00,694
- [Zack] I like your hair.
- 753
- 00:52:01,612 --> 00:52:02,948
- It's all swirly.
- 754
- 00:52:04,075 --> 00:52:05,161
- [chuckles]
- 755
- 00:52:05,704 --> 00:52:07,958
- I'm sorry.
- I won't be nice to you next time.
- 756
- 00:52:08,041 --> 00:52:09,085
- I'll not say anything.
- 757
- 00:52:09,169 --> 00:52:10,922
- No, your hair looks like shit, Nina.
- 758
- 00:52:11,006 --> 00:52:12,509
- -You are welcome.
- -[Nina] I'm not used to you being nice to me.
- 759
- 00:52:12,926 --> 00:52:14,304
- [mocking] Na na na na.
- 760
- 00:52:14,513 --> 00:52:16,851
- -[Nina] Stop, Zack. I'm driving!
- -[both laughing]
- 761
- 00:52:18,187 --> 00:52:21,276
- -Stop. I'm driving. [continues laughing]
- -Think you're a badass, huh?
- 762
- 00:52:21,611 --> 00:52:22,946
- [indistinct dialogue]
- 763
- 00:52:23,155 --> 00:52:24,575
- [Elliot crying]
- 764
- 00:52:24,867 --> 00:52:27,790
- -[Nina] You're freaking Elliot out.
- -Elliot's not freaked out.
- 765
- 00:52:28,123 --> 00:52:30,127
- I mean, he's a little freaked out.
- 766
- 00:52:30,879 --> 00:52:32,340
- -[roars]
- -Stop!
- 767
- 00:52:32,591 --> 00:52:33,885
- [Elliot crying]
- 768
- 00:52:34,302 --> 00:52:37,726
- I'll be back.
- Veggie burritos, potatoes, horchata.
- 769
- 00:52:38,018 --> 00:52:40,189
- ♪ I'm feeling hot... ♪
- 770
- 00:52:40,397 --> 00:52:41,526
- [Bing] So, you guys are...
- 771
- 00:52:41,734 --> 00:52:43,696
- looking better that ever. Like, what's...
- 772
- 00:52:43,905 --> 00:52:45,575
- [Nina] I'm gonna take it day by day
- 773
- 00:52:45,992 --> 00:52:50,251
- because I feel like he's just gonna
- let me down again. So...
- 774
- 00:52:50,794 --> 00:52:54,467
- If I don't take him seriously,
- I'm not gonna be let down.
- 775
- 00:52:54,552 --> 00:52:56,556
- So, I'm just, like,
- going with it, I guess.
- 776
- 00:53:06,632 --> 00:53:07,828
- -To him? Don't.
- -Yeah.
- 777
- 00:53:07,828 --> 00:53:11,459
- That's a bad... That's... no.
- 778
- 00:53:11,544 --> 00:53:14,967
- -I mean...
- -I just think it's so prevalent,
- 779
- 00:53:15,175 --> 00:53:17,305
- uh, like, violence towards women.
- 780
- 00:53:17,639 --> 00:53:21,772
- And I saw that towards my mother
- and I just think it's...
- 781
- 00:53:22,023 --> 00:53:23,818
- Right. I don't think--
- 782
- 00:53:23,902 --> 00:53:26,991
- [Bing] She had the same idea.
- She was, like, "I don't wanna speak up."
- 783
- 00:53:27,241 --> 00:53:28,661
- Right. I mean...
- 784
- 00:53:31,876 --> 00:53:33,045
- I don't know.
- 785
- 00:53:33,378 --> 00:53:35,759
- Especially like, with me and him,
- like, kinda...
- 786
- 00:53:36,259 --> 00:53:38,514
- being OK right now
- and like hanging out.
- 787
- 00:53:38,598 --> 00:53:40,476
- Like, all that would go down the drain.
- 788
- 00:53:40,936 --> 00:53:42,313
- [Bing] OK.
- 789
- 00:53:42,940 --> 00:53:44,610
- -[door opens]
- -But, yeah.
- 790
- 00:53:45,570 --> 00:53:47,239
- That took a long time.
- 791
- 00:53:47,365 --> 00:53:48,618
- [Zack] It's 50 bucks.
- 792
- 00:53:49,995 --> 00:53:51,832
- -[Nina] That's 50?
- -Yeah.
- 793
- 00:54:02,980 --> 00:54:04,525
- I'm fucking beat, dude?
- 794
- 00:54:05,527 --> 00:54:07,948
- I don't know what else to say. I'm beat.
- 795
- 00:54:08,448 --> 00:54:09,702
- Wait a second.
- 796
- 00:54:11,121 --> 00:54:12,791
- Dude, what's today?
- 797
- 00:54:17,091 --> 00:54:18,803
- I thought it was fucking Friday.
- 798
- 00:54:19,763 --> 00:54:21,517
- I don't gonna have to go back to work.
- 799
- 00:54:24,313 --> 00:54:25,441
- Yes!
- 800
- 00:54:26,026 --> 00:54:28,196
- Oh, my God, yes!
- 801
- 00:54:28,656 --> 00:54:30,535
- Oh, my God.
- 802
- 00:54:48,780 --> 00:54:50,032
- [chuckles]
- 803
- 00:54:52,077 --> 00:54:55,250
- I got my car probably a month or two ago.
- 804
- 00:54:56,169 --> 00:55:02,097
- How many people you know have
- a portable ledge on the back?
- 805
- 00:55:06,231 --> 00:55:07,149
- I quit.
- 806
- 00:55:17,671 --> 00:55:21,512
- I feel like if I stay here,
- I'm just gonna get stuck here.
- 807
- 00:55:23,891 --> 00:55:25,143
- [siren wailing]
- 808
- 00:55:25,603 --> 00:55:28,233
- But, like, moving out
- has just always been scary.
- 809
- 00:55:28,734 --> 00:55:30,572
- Like, I don't wanna just move out
- and just think,
- 810
- 00:55:30,822 --> 00:55:33,410
- by the time rent comes around,
- I don't have the money.
- 811
- 00:55:33,578 --> 00:55:35,582
- Because then,
- I would look stupid and irresponsible.
- 812
- 00:55:40,508 --> 00:55:41,969
- What's good, Merlin?
- 813
- 00:55:43,681 --> 00:55:45,602
- Yo, we're filming that rap video.
- 814
- 00:55:45,685 --> 00:55:47,229
- We're, we're filming a rap video.
- 815
- 00:55:47,647 --> 00:55:51,822
- [indistinct singing]
- 816
- 00:55:54,214 --> 00:55:55,622
- [Merlin] No, we're not guilty.
- 817
- 00:55:55,622 --> 00:55:56,707
- [man in wheelchair]
- That's what they all say.
- 818
- 00:55:56,790 --> 00:55:59,086
- -[Merlin] We didn't do it.
- -He's like, "That's what they all think."
- 819
- 00:56:01,257 --> 00:56:04,221
- Like, see, that shit right there.
- Like right above the pedometer,
- 820
- 00:56:04,556 --> 00:56:07,061
- I have like my registration,
- my insurance, my license.
- 821
- 00:56:07,227 --> 00:56:08,981
- So, you don't have to reach
- for anything in your pockets.
- 822
- 00:56:09,065 --> 00:56:11,152
- Dude, coppers like,
- "License and registration."
- 823
- 00:56:11,235 --> 00:56:13,198
- And I was like sure
- and I reached over there
- 824
- 00:56:13,323 --> 00:56:16,580
- to the fucking... uh, the glove box.
- The cop over there is like...
- 825
- 00:56:16,997 --> 00:56:19,836
- I was just like,
- "Oh, don't fucking shoot me."
- 826
- 00:56:19,962 --> 00:56:21,757
- They are like, "Calm down." I was like,
- what do you mean, "Calm down"?
- 827
- 00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,552
- You guys fucking calm down.
- 828
- 00:56:23,678 --> 00:56:27,476
- You fucking pulled
- your gun on me for-- for...
- 829
- 00:56:27,727 --> 00:56:29,773
- like, obeying what you said.
- [chuckles]
- 830
- 00:56:30,023 --> 00:56:32,444
- It's just-- it's just...
- a bunch of shit, you know?
- 831
- 00:56:32,946 --> 00:56:34,281
- [Zack] Did you see that one?
- 832
- 00:56:34,365 --> 00:56:36,411
- -Like at the gas station? Yeah.
- -You saw that one?
- 833
- 00:56:36,537 --> 00:56:38,456
- -He's like, give me your drivers licence.
- -That fucking terrified me.
- 834
- 00:56:38,582 --> 00:56:41,337
- So, the guy turns around and goes
- in his car to get his driver's licence
- 835
- 00:56:41,421 --> 00:56:42,841
- and the cop just shoots him,
- like, four times.
- 836
- 00:56:43,216 --> 00:56:45,805
- I can die really easily here.
- 837
- 00:56:46,097 --> 00:56:49,771
- -This is going to suck.
- -Here no, this is like the funniest video ever.
- 838
- 00:56:49,855 --> 00:56:51,232
- I have to show you this.
- 839
- 00:56:51,441 --> 00:56:54,531
- [man in video]
- ...dumb niggers, dork niggers,
- 840
- 00:56:54,906 --> 00:56:56,409
- Asian niggers,
- 841
- 00:56:56,702 --> 00:56:57,871
- white niggers.
- 842
- 00:56:57,996 --> 00:56:59,331
- [man #2] Suck my dick, bitch!
- 843
- 00:56:59,415 --> 00:57:02,839
- Pundits and niggas just waiting
- for your mother fucking call,
- 844
- 00:57:03,131 --> 00:57:06,304
- they all talking shit about you.
- 845
- 00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,601
- [video continues]
- 846
- 00:57:11,314 --> 00:57:12,817
- [harmonica playing]
- 847
- 00:57:15,573 --> 00:57:20,833
- [Keire] Growing up,
- my dad would always tell me,
- 848
- 00:57:21,417 --> 00:57:23,254
- "Keire, like, you know,
- you have a lot of white friends,
- 849
- 00:57:23,338 --> 00:57:24,716
- but don't forget that you're black."
- 850
- 00:57:38,994 --> 00:57:41,124
- You mind taking a nap, buddy?
- 851
- 00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:44,923
- -[woman] Hi!
- -[indistinct chat]
- 852
- 00:57:45,716 --> 00:57:47,344
- Let me have a kiss first.
- 853
- 00:57:49,098 --> 00:57:52,479
- I get him first.
- 854
- 00:57:54,316 --> 00:57:56,613
- [Nina] We didn't, like,
- hug or anything in my family.
- 855
- 00:57:56,822 --> 00:57:59,786
- So, when I first moved out
- from me and Zack's apartment,
- 856
- 00:57:59,995 --> 00:58:03,209
- like, my aunt would give me a hug
- every night before I went to bed and...
- 857
- 00:58:03,293 --> 00:58:05,590
- it was so weird to me
- and at first, I be like, "Ugh!"
- 858
- 00:58:05,965 --> 00:58:08,136
- Like, you're touching me.
- Like don't please!
- 859
- 00:58:08,637 --> 00:58:11,518
- And then after a while, I was, like,
- "OK, I'm going to bed."
- 860
- 00:58:12,477 --> 00:58:14,190
- You know, "Where's my hug?"
- 861
- 00:58:14,481 --> 00:58:16,360
- [Elliot cooing]
- 862
- 00:58:16,570 --> 00:58:18,198
- It's nap time, baby.
- 863
- 00:58:18,574 --> 00:58:21,454
- I never really knew what like
- a family was.
- 864
- 00:58:21,454 --> 00:58:24,878
- I would be very like "Ah! Are you OK?"
- 865
- 00:58:24,878 --> 00:58:28,719
- Like my aunt and uncle showed me that.
- They pretty much adopted me...
- 866
- 00:58:28,928 --> 00:58:30,472
- [chuckling] ... at the age of 21.
- 867
- 00:58:30,556 --> 00:58:32,392
- But it still scares me
- when he gets on the skateboard.
- 868
- 00:58:32,476 --> 00:58:34,313
- -I'm just like...
- -[aunt] Mm-hmm.
- 869
- 00:58:34,564 --> 00:58:36,359
- -We need to find him a little helmet.
- -Yeah.
- 870
- 00:58:37,277 --> 00:58:38,572
- Come here. Come on, bubba.
- 871
- 00:58:38,906 --> 00:58:42,789
- [Nina] Like, now I know,
- what I want my family to be like someday.
- 872
- 00:58:45,544 --> 00:58:47,172
- [groans]
- 873
- 00:58:50,513 --> 00:58:52,850
- [Bing] How've you and Zack been?
- 874
- 00:58:54,061 --> 00:58:59,446
- Uh, same as always.
- He's just doing his own thing.
- 875
- 00:58:59,531 --> 00:59:01,785
- [man on TV] Looks like a job for Superman.
- 876
- 00:59:02,829 --> 00:59:05,458
- [Bing] Is it hard for you
- to move on from him?
- 877
- 00:59:05,793 --> 00:59:07,880
- [Elliot playing with a car]
- 878
- 00:59:08,381 --> 00:59:09,759
- I mean...
- 879
- 00:59:10,218 --> 00:59:13,349
- I don't go one day
- without thinking about him.
- 880
- 00:59:14,143 --> 00:59:16,355
- Really, like, worrying about him or, like,
- 881
- 00:59:16,857 --> 00:59:18,986
- wishing he'd call and, like...
- 882
- 00:59:19,361 --> 00:59:22,618
- You know, not even just for me,
- but for Elliot, too, like...
- 883
- 00:59:25,206 --> 00:59:27,002
- I don't know.
- 884
- 00:59:28,379 --> 00:59:30,342
- Why do you put up with that, though.
- 885
- 00:59:32,346 --> 00:59:35,561
- I mean, even though,
- I've seen the worst of him,
- 886
- 00:59:35,811 --> 00:59:38,274
- I've... you know, I know that there is...
- 887
- 00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:41,072
- a lot of good things about him too.
- 888
- 00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:51,258
- [indistinct conversation]
- 889
- 00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:53,304
- [dishes clanking]
- 890
- 00:59:54,223 --> 00:59:57,354
- I need, uh... fries, please,
- for the steak sandwich.
- 891
- 01:00:06,581 --> 01:00:09,879
- Here you are, sir.
- All right. I'll go grab your menu.
- 892
- 01:00:09,963 --> 01:00:11,215
- Seriously, man.
- 893
- 01:00:13,512 --> 01:00:16,058
- This is, like, so much better
- than being back there
- 894
- 01:00:16,225 --> 01:00:17,937
- and having to do all of that.
- 895
- 01:00:21,695 --> 01:00:26,287
- Right now, it's like, I don't have to ask
- my mom for money. I can give her money.
- 896
- 01:00:26,538 --> 01:00:31,046
- Like, our water was gonna get cut off
- and I, like, helped pay the bill.
- 897
- 01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,552
- I felt good really about that.
- 898
- 01:00:38,562 --> 01:00:40,315
- With Zack...
- 899
- 01:00:40,733 --> 01:00:42,737
- we have drifted apart a little bit
- 900
- 01:00:42,945 --> 01:00:44,782
- just 'cause, like, I'm not over there,
- like, everyday.
- 901
- 01:00:46,745 --> 01:00:48,999
- I started hanging out with, like,
- my younger skate friends again.
- 902
- 01:00:50,043 --> 01:00:53,382
- I noticed, like,
- they were on a better path.
- 903
- 01:00:55,136 --> 01:00:56,515
- [man] What classes are you taking?
- 904
- 01:00:56,598 --> 01:00:58,267
- Graphic cards technology
- or graphic design.
- 905
- 01:00:58,351 --> 01:00:59,896
- [man] Sounds like a Gen. Ed. of Liberal Arts.
- [Evan] Yes.
- 906
- 01:00:59,979 --> 01:01:02,275
- [man] I'm just, I'm just gonna get
- something general at first, like,
- 907
- 01:01:02,359 --> 01:01:03,904
- and see what kind of jobs I can get.
- 908
- 01:01:05,699 --> 01:01:07,327
- [Bing] You guys are getting your GED's?
- 909
- 01:01:07,703 --> 01:01:12,630
- Um, I have. Evan has his.
- He-- he graduated and, like...
- 910
- 01:01:13,005 --> 01:01:15,928
- I don't know, It's just,
- I can just prove people wrong.
- 911
- 01:01:17,180 --> 01:01:23,025
- Oh, yeah! Dude. I remembered something
- that my like, dad told me about um, being black.
- 912
- 01:01:23,359 --> 01:01:25,698
- He said, like, being black is cool
- 913
- 01:01:25,781 --> 01:01:27,994
- because you get to prove people wrong
- like, everyday.
- 914
- 01:01:29,664 --> 01:01:32,168
- Like, you sound the way that you sound,
- so, like, you don't...
- 915
- 01:01:32,419 --> 01:01:34,298
- you know it's like,
- you just prove them wrong.
- 916
- 01:01:34,464 --> 01:01:38,932
- [stammers] There's like-- they probably
- feel a little shitty for... for profiling you.
- 917
- 01:01:39,266 --> 01:01:41,646
- Like, I can only imagine,
- like feeling like that.
- 918
- 01:01:41,980 --> 01:01:44,359
- I was the only--
- the only white kid for, like four years,
- 919
- 01:01:44,484 --> 01:01:45,863
- at least, in my class.
- 920
- 01:01:46,238 --> 01:01:49,369
- So, I had to learn real quick that like,
- "Oh, shit, I'm in trouble."
- 921
- 01:01:49,704 --> 01:01:52,083
- Like right away, people were
- mad at me for being white
- 922
- 01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:53,461
- after, like, first history class.
- 923
- 01:01:53,879 --> 01:01:57,218
- In reality, you don't have like,
- as much say because you are white.
- 924
- 01:01:57,469 --> 01:01:59,515
- But [stammers] But I'm educated, though.
- 925
- 01:02:00,099 --> 01:02:04,358
- You're educated 'cause you went through
- just as much as high school as him?
- 926
- 01:02:04,483 --> 01:02:06,236
- -So you know more than him?
- -No.
- 927
- 01:02:06,362 --> 01:02:09,493
- Even though, your race didn't
- go through the same thing as his did.
- 928
- 01:02:09,702 --> 01:02:11,956
- 'Cause my race went through it,
- doesn't mean I went through it.
- 929
- 01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,962
- [Evan] He doesn't have the same
- disadvantages everyday that you don't have?
- 930
- 01:02:16,215 --> 01:02:18,260
- [man] There's a certain class
- of whites that's not--
- 931
- 01:02:18,344 --> 01:02:19,764
- "It's easy to be white in America."
- 932
- 01:02:19,889 --> 01:02:22,185
- But then, if you're, like,
- trailer-trash white and shit,
- 933
- 01:02:22,268 --> 01:02:24,022
- then it's not easy to live in America.
- Like...
- 934
- 01:02:24,189 --> 01:02:25,818
- I feel like it is easy, though.
- 935
- 01:02:25,901 --> 01:02:28,322
- Like you still...
- like you can fuckin' just cut your hair
- 936
- 01:02:28,406 --> 01:02:30,577
- and go and get a fucking job
- because they don't look at you, like...
- 937
- 01:02:30,911 --> 01:02:32,915
- [man] But when you're fucking
- stupid you can't do that.
- 938
- 01:02:32,998 --> 01:02:35,002
- But if you're stupid you can't do that.
- 939
- 01:02:35,546 --> 01:02:36,548
- [Keire] When I was younger,
- 940
- 01:02:36,673 --> 01:02:40,054
- I didn't really understand what my dad
- was talking about being black so much.
- 941
- 01:02:40,723 --> 01:02:44,438
- But I remember, he was like,
- if you could choose again,
- 942
- 01:02:44,856 --> 01:02:46,442
- choose to-- to be black.
- 943
- 01:02:47,152 --> 01:02:49,406
- And at first, I didn't get it.
- I was, like,
- 944
- 01:02:49,489 --> 01:02:52,495
- "Why would you wanna be black
- when all that shit's happening to us?"
- 945
- 01:02:54,917 --> 01:02:57,506
- But he explained it as like...
- 946
- 01:02:58,215 --> 01:03:00,470
- Because we have to deal
- with these issues,
- 947
- 01:03:01,388 --> 01:03:03,476
- it just makes...
- 948
- 01:03:04,019 --> 01:03:07,233
- other things that, like, my white friends
- would complain about,
- 949
- 01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:09,321
- like, not even be a problem to me.
- 950
- 01:03:10,114 --> 01:03:11,576
- [sighs]
- 951
- 01:03:23,725 --> 01:03:27,983
- [Joseph] My father's skatepark went under
- because of a downfall in skateboarding.
- 952
- 01:03:29,110 --> 01:03:33,244
- Mine didn't succeed because I got
- hooked up with a bad partner.
- 953
- 01:03:35,081 --> 01:03:39,130
- One day, he calls me and he's like,
- hey, I'm going to go on a vacation.
- 954
- 01:03:40,466 --> 01:03:42,220
- I fucking never heard from the dude again.
- 955
- 01:03:42,428 --> 01:03:43,430
- Never.
- 956
- 01:03:43,974 --> 01:03:45,226
- Come to find out...
- 957
- 01:03:45,309 --> 01:03:48,148
- the guy had never paid any of our bills.
- 958
- 01:03:48,357 --> 01:03:51,573
- All the money we were making,
- everything, he just was keeping it.
- 959
- 01:03:52,490 --> 01:03:53,827
- And that fucked me over.
- 960
- 01:03:53,994 --> 01:03:55,079
- I mean, I've-- I've never--
- 961
- 01:03:55,288 --> 01:03:58,712
- I don't feel like I've done anything
- I've ever wanted to do with my life.
- 962
- 01:04:06,018 --> 01:04:07,103
- [door squeaking]
- 963
- 01:04:07,395 --> 01:04:08,565
- There it is.
- 964
- 01:04:09,482 --> 01:04:11,069
- That's a five-day notice.
- 965
- 01:04:14,869 --> 01:04:16,581
- I try not to come over here.
- 966
- 01:04:16,748 --> 01:04:18,500
- Just like Zack and Kyle don't.
- 967
- 01:04:18,877 --> 01:04:23,678
- Clearly, I mean...
- Do you even want to be here? No.
- 968
- 01:04:24,304 --> 01:04:26,058
- [Bing] Why's all that shit broken?
- 969
- 01:04:26,726 --> 01:04:28,521
- -What?
- -The ground.
- 970
- 01:04:28,688 --> 01:04:30,734
- -The ground?
- -Yeah, what is all this?
- 971
- 01:04:30,943 --> 01:04:33,197
- Poop, it's all poop, dude.
- 972
- 01:04:37,831 --> 01:04:41,004
- All right.
- Let's get out of this fucking place.
- 973
- 01:04:45,681 --> 01:04:47,016
- [man] I feel like I never see Zack.
- 974
- 01:04:48,143 --> 01:04:50,481
- Remember when I used to
- like, skip school?
- 975
- 01:04:50,607 --> 01:04:52,360
- I was just like,
- "Oh, he didn't finish school."
- 976
- 01:04:52,528 --> 01:04:54,740
- Remember, like, he's doing fine.
- I'll be fine.
- 977
- 01:04:54,824 --> 01:04:57,788
- Yeah, but, like, now, like,
- I see them now, I'm, like, "Fuck!"
- 978
- 01:04:58,080 --> 01:04:59,165
- [man chuckling]
- 979
- 01:04:59,457 --> 01:05:03,132
- I don't know, like, I don't think
- they have electricity right now.
- 980
- 01:05:03,842 --> 01:05:05,887
- -Like, that's gonna...
- -Yeah, that's what I heard.
- 981
- 01:05:06,096 --> 01:05:07,056
- That's fucked up.
- 982
- 01:05:08,727 --> 01:05:12,901
- [Keire] When I was younger, everybody just
- seemed like they had it all figured out.
- 983
- 01:05:13,235 --> 01:05:17,870
- You know like... which was the dumbest thing
- that I could have ever told myself.
- 984
- 01:05:18,078 --> 01:05:21,043
- Like, no one knows
- what the fuck they're doing, like...
- 985
- 01:05:21,794 --> 01:05:23,882
- [train bell tolling]
- 986
- 01:05:36,031 --> 01:05:37,075
- Shwoop.
- 987
- 01:05:38,870 --> 01:05:41,751
- What kind of filming are we doing?
- The kind where I pretend you are not there
- 988
- 01:05:42,043 --> 01:05:43,546
- or the other kind?
- 989
- 01:05:45,663 --> 01:05:48,013
- Where we talk the whole time.
- [both laughing]
- 990
- 01:05:58,952 --> 01:05:59,870
- OK.
- 991
- 01:06:00,371 --> 01:06:01,289
- All right, I think I got it.
- 992
- 01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:06,216
- Oh, I didn't plan on
- moving here at all, like.
- 993
- 01:06:06,258 --> 01:06:08,638
- Like, this girl that lives out here
- hit me up.
- 994
- 01:06:08,721 --> 01:06:11,476
- She bought me a plane ticket.
- Got me, like $180 Uber
- 995
- 01:06:11,561 --> 01:06:13,355
- to fucking the Milwaukee airport.
- 996
- 01:06:13,898 --> 01:06:14,942
- Came out here.
- 997
- 01:06:15,527 --> 01:06:17,781
- I was originally gonna be
- out here for two weeks.
- 998
- 01:06:18,783 --> 01:06:21,747
- And, like, she's like
- no, you are just gonna live with me now.
- 999
- 01:06:22,833 --> 01:06:25,797
- You know, not picky.
- I was like, "All right."
- 1000
- 01:06:27,175 --> 01:06:29,470
- I don't know, fuck, I'm doing, like,
- pretty good out here, though.
- 1001
- 01:06:29,555 --> 01:06:30,515
- Like, I'm working.
- 1002
- 01:06:31,266 --> 01:06:33,813
- I've been like, drinking a lot less.
- And I'm definitely not like...
- 1003
- 01:06:34,607 --> 01:06:36,276
- just fucking off as much.
- 1004
- 01:06:36,652 --> 01:06:38,113
- Fucking...
- 1005
- 01:06:39,199 --> 01:06:40,994
- Can you hear me, like,
- in your headphones right now?
- 1006
- 01:06:41,077 --> 01:06:44,500
- -Yeah.
- -There's liquor in this cup.
- 1007
- 01:06:50,931 --> 01:06:54,229
- -[Nina] So, west, fifth street.
- -[seatbelt alarm beeping]
- 1008
- 01:06:54,312 --> 01:06:57,360
- This is Walnut, so I need to be going...
- 1009
- 01:06:57,736 --> 01:06:59,030
- that way.
- 1010
- 01:07:02,203 --> 01:07:03,790
- [Elliot mumbling]
- 1011
- 01:07:03,998 --> 01:07:05,209
- -What?
- -Momma.
- 1012
- 01:07:05,877 --> 01:07:07,965
- -Baby.
- -Take a right.
- 1013
- 01:07:08,257 --> 01:07:10,887
- -What?
- -Take a right.
- 1014
- 01:07:13,016 --> 01:07:16,481
- Zack told me that he was going
- to Colorado, but, um...
- 1015
- 01:07:16,565 --> 01:07:18,820
- he said that he's only going like,
- for a couple of days.
- 1016
- 01:07:19,237 --> 01:07:22,536
- Then he wound up calling me
- while he was there, like,
- 1017
- 01:07:22,744 --> 01:07:24,080
- "Oh, I'm gonna stay here."
- 1018
- 01:07:31,595 --> 01:07:35,019
- [inaudible chatter]
- 1019
- 01:07:37,858 --> 01:07:39,027
- [Zack] Are my teeth yellow?
- 1020
- 01:07:41,197 --> 01:07:46,207
- [Zack] When he does get stable,
- he's gonna wanna be with Elliot again.
- 1021
- 01:07:46,291 --> 01:07:49,506
- And he's gonna wanna be a family
- becase that's what he tells me.
- 1022
- 01:07:49,590 --> 01:07:50,466
- [explosive sounds]
- 1023
- 01:07:50,550 --> 01:07:52,053
- [Nina] But then again,
- all I really have is his word,
- 1024
- 01:07:52,136 --> 01:07:55,935
- which I don't even know if that's true
- because there's so many why's.
- 1025
- 01:07:56,144 --> 01:07:57,355
- Do you know what I mean?
- 1026
- 01:07:59,943 --> 01:08:01,321
- [Zack] Oh, I'm drunk as fuck!
- 1027
- 01:08:01,404 --> 01:08:02,699
- This is a perfect night.
- 1028
- 01:08:04,285 --> 01:08:07,166
- [Keire] It's hard to get
- who Zack actually is
- 1029
- 01:08:07,249 --> 01:08:11,424
- because there's so many versions of him,
- that he might tell you about.
- 1030
- 01:08:16,017 --> 01:08:17,938
- [Keire] It's frustrating. It's like...
- 1031
- 01:08:18,270 --> 01:08:22,154
- You're supposed to be, like, my homie,
- but I feel like I don't know the real you.
- 1032
- 01:08:23,198 --> 01:08:26,496
- [Nina gasps] You spilled juice
- all over your pants.
- 1033
- 01:08:26,622 --> 01:08:27,707
- It's OK.
- 1034
- 01:08:31,590 --> 01:08:33,343
- [aunt] Oh, hi, Elliot!
- 1035
- 01:08:33,385 --> 01:08:34,680
- -Hey, Nina.
- -Hi.
- 1036
- 01:08:34,763 --> 01:08:35,682
- [drums playing]
- 1037
- 01:08:35,765 --> 01:08:36,684
- -[aunt] You look cute.
- -Yeah.
- 1038
- 01:08:36,767 --> 01:08:39,147
- I figure that if I'm gonna go do this
- at the courthouse,
- 1039
- 01:08:39,272 --> 01:08:40,608
- I need to look presentable.
- 1040
- 01:08:44,198 --> 01:08:46,912
- He needs to know
- that there's consequences,
- 1041
- 01:08:47,037 --> 01:08:49,667
- like, you can't just have a child
- and abandon them.
- 1042
- 01:08:50,502 --> 01:08:53,926
- Life doesn't work like that
- and he needs a reality check
- 1043
- 01:08:54,093 --> 01:08:57,684
- and I feel like, you know,
- this is a good way to do that.
- 1044
- 01:08:58,350 --> 01:09:02,694
- I'm here to try and start the process
- of child support.
- 1045
- 01:09:02,944 --> 01:09:04,990
- [woman] You said, child support?
- 1046
- 01:09:06,117 --> 01:09:09,666
- [Nina] Maybe that'll also encourage him
- to wanna come around more.
- 1047
- 01:09:09,917 --> 01:09:12,589
- It's like, maybe if he's paying for him,
- he'll wanna see him.
- 1048
- 01:09:12,714 --> 01:09:14,008
- But, you know, like, I don't know.
- 1049
- 01:09:15,344 --> 01:09:17,223
- I'm just trying to do what I can, I guess.
- 1050
- 01:09:19,185 --> 01:09:20,772
- [Keire] I'm just, I'm just playing.
- Don't start crying.
- 1051
- 01:09:21,147 --> 01:09:22,943
- Look how much fun jumping is, um,
- 1052
- 01:09:23,318 --> 01:09:25,782
- when you don't have to cut-- Mom, Mom.
- 1053
- 01:09:25,865 --> 01:09:27,326
- -He's making noises.
- -Come on, Coco.
- 1054
- 01:09:27,577 --> 01:09:28,537
- Come on, child.
- 1055
- 01:09:28,621 --> 01:09:31,334
- See, like, everyone loves grandma,
- no one likes their uncle.
- 1056
- 01:09:34,633 --> 01:09:37,805
- [Bing] Are you still with...
- Are you still with your boyfriend?
- 1057
- 01:09:38,098 --> 01:09:39,350
- What boyfriend?
- 1058
- 01:09:39,475 --> 01:09:41,145
- I thought you had a boyfriend for a while.
- 1059
- 01:09:41,312 --> 01:09:44,068
- No, he wasn't a boyfriend.
- He was a stupid friend.
- 1060
- 01:09:45,112 --> 01:09:48,243
- No, he's not around anymore.
- 1061
- 01:09:48,368 --> 01:09:49,412
- Thank goodness.
- 1062
- 01:09:49,580 --> 01:09:50,622
- [playing sounds]
- 1063
- 01:09:52,919 --> 01:09:55,675
- [Keire] The older I get,
- the more I think about it.
- 1064
- 01:09:55,883 --> 01:09:59,683
- I feel like there is a part of me
- that really loves my family.
- 1065
- 01:10:00,183 --> 01:10:02,522
- All right, all right, calm down. Just ca--
- 1066
- 01:10:03,524 --> 01:10:07,824
- I guess, because family will,
- will, like, always be there but...
- 1067
- 01:10:08,074 --> 01:10:10,370
- but friends, kinda like come and go.
- 1068
- 01:10:10,622 --> 01:10:13,084
- -Help me!
- -God!
- 1069
- 01:10:13,335 --> 01:10:15,172
- -Wassup, bro.
- -Wassup, Zack.
- 1070
- 01:10:15,255 --> 01:10:16,382
- All he's done is bitch and moan
- for the last ten minutes.
- 1071
- 01:10:16,466 --> 01:10:17,886
- -[Bing] How's it going?
- -Good.
- 1072
- 01:10:20,245 --> 01:10:21,926
- I know, happy to be home.
- I'll tell you what...
- 1073
- 01:10:22,938 --> 01:10:24,566
- -Let's do this.
- -Observe.
- 1074
- 01:10:24,775 --> 01:10:26,612
- -[grunts]
- -[woman] Zack!
- 1075
- 01:10:26,779 --> 01:10:29,033
- [Zack] Denver wasn't really,
- like, my style.
- 1076
- 01:10:30,494 --> 01:10:33,960
- I felt like a lot of the people
- that were down there,
- 1077
- 01:10:34,377 --> 01:10:36,297
- a lot of them were, like, privileged.
- 1078
- 01:10:36,590 --> 01:10:40,682
- So, Sam, my current girlfriend
- flew me back out to Rockford.
- 1079
- 01:10:41,015 --> 01:10:42,727
- I have Sam's name tattooed
- on my wrist now.
- 1080
- 01:10:43,061 --> 01:10:45,190
- [Bing] When did you get
- Sam's name tattooed on there?
- 1081
- 01:10:45,733 --> 01:10:47,236
- -[Sam] When or why?
- -Uh, Saturday?
- 1082
- 01:10:47,737 --> 01:10:48,948
- I don't know.
- 1083
- 01:10:49,741 --> 01:10:50,618
- [Bing] You paid for it.
- 1084
- 01:10:50,743 --> 01:10:51,912
- -[Zack] She paid for it.
- -I paid for it.
- 1085
- 01:10:54,041 --> 01:10:55,795
- [Bing] Do you feel, like, concerned
- 1086
- 01:10:55,878 --> 01:10:58,968
- that Elliot's gonna grow up
- like, messed up?
- 1087
- 01:11:01,932 --> 01:11:04,061
- [sighs] I'm 50-50 about it.
- 1088
- 01:11:07,777 --> 01:11:12,327
- Lately, I have been concerned
- over my influence on him.
- 1089
- 01:11:12,871 --> 01:11:16,377
- And, as he gets older,
- 1090
- 01:11:17,756 --> 01:11:20,427
- how he's gonna look
- at the difference between
- 1091
- 01:11:21,054 --> 01:11:22,974
- the way his family lives
- 1092
- 01:11:23,099 --> 01:11:25,730
- and the way I live. And...
- 1093
- 01:11:27,232 --> 01:11:30,030
- A lot of people grow up,
- and they're all...
- 1094
- 01:11:30,363 --> 01:11:32,367
- "I'm gonna play football,
- and I'm gonna go to college,
- 1095
- 01:11:32,493 --> 01:11:35,082
- and I'm gonna get this nice office job,
- and start a family,
- 1096
- 01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:39,173
- and have two point five kids,
- and a car, and a garage,
- 1097
- 01:11:39,256 --> 01:11:42,972
- and everything's just gonna be nice,
- and I'll buy a boat, and a snowmobile."
- 1098
- 01:11:43,139 --> 01:11:45,185
- Like, fuck you, you piece of shit.
- 1099
- 01:11:45,352 --> 01:11:48,316
- Like, just 'cause you're too fucking
- weak to make your own decisions
- 1100
- 01:11:48,399 --> 01:11:50,153
- and decide what you wanna do
- with your own life.
- 1101
- 01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:52,366
- Doesn't mean everyone else
- is gotta be like you.
- 1102
- 01:11:53,034 --> 01:11:55,497
- I don't know, fuck.
- 1103
- 01:11:56,457 --> 01:11:57,710
- [continues chuckling]
- 1104
- 01:11:57,961 --> 01:12:00,423
- -All right, ask me another question.
- -[man chuckles]
- 1105
- 01:12:00,842 --> 01:12:03,263
- [Bing] I guess, my thing was like,
- you know...
- 1106
- 01:12:03,848 --> 01:12:06,687
- I grew up without knowing my dad.
- 1107
- 01:12:06,812 --> 01:12:08,816
- I saw him three times since I was five.
- 1108
- 01:12:09,108 --> 01:12:13,449
- And, uh, my stepdad used to
- beat the shit out of me and my mom.
- 1109
- 01:12:13,576 --> 01:12:16,038
- -Right.
- -And, so, I don't know how I--
- 1110
- 01:12:16,372 --> 01:12:17,792
- why did I choose this life?
- 1111
- 01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:20,882
- Not that I'm, like,
- gonna get married, and buy a house.
- 1112
- 01:12:21,090 --> 01:12:22,342
- But like, I don't know.
- 1113
- 01:12:22,426 --> 01:12:25,558
- You want, you want me
- to comment on your direction?
- 1114
- 01:12:25,683 --> 01:12:26,852
- [Bing] Yeah.
- 1115
- 01:12:28,146 --> 01:12:29,398
- [Zack] That's, that's the difference.
- 1116
- 01:12:29,608 --> 01:12:34,116
- Like you-- Some-- some people
- do take their negative experiences
- 1117
- 01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:37,624
- and turn them into powerful,
- positive things.
- 1118
- 01:12:38,834 --> 01:12:43,051
- I just don't think
- I'm that type of person. I think I've...
- 1119
- 01:12:45,013 --> 01:12:47,644
- I've found myself in a position
- where I was...
- 1120
- 01:12:48,353 --> 01:12:52,612
- so depressed that I just, I wanted it
- to just get as bad as it could,
- 1121
- 01:12:52,695 --> 01:12:54,240
- just bad as it could until I died.
- 1122
- 01:12:54,699 --> 01:12:58,958
- [singing]
- 1123
- 01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:02,214
- -Could be worse.
- -[Sam] Don't play with my knife.
- 1124
- 01:13:02,507 --> 01:13:04,176
- -Don't play with my knife.
- -Take it off.
- 1125
- 01:13:04,385 --> 01:13:05,763
- Quit being a pussy.
- 1126
- 01:13:06,013 --> 01:13:09,019
- ♪ I want you to be mine again
- Actually ♪
- 1127
- 01:13:09,311 --> 01:13:14,781
- ♪ I know my lifestyle
- Is driving you crazy ♪
- 1128
- 01:13:15,156 --> 01:13:18,413
- Cool. Saw my fucking head off.
- Don't be a pussy.
- 1129
- 01:13:18,496 --> 01:13:20,584
- -No.
- -Oh, you're such a wuss.
- 1130
- 01:13:36,157 --> 01:13:40,666
- [Keire] It's like this place
- just like eats away at you.
- 1131
- 01:13:40,958 --> 01:13:45,425
- I don't know. I just don't wanna
- get trapped here and lockered
- 1132
- 01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:47,471
- like a lot of people have.
- 1133
- 01:13:48,348 --> 01:13:51,395
- [rap music playing on the stereo]
- 1134
- 01:13:52,815 --> 01:13:55,153
- I tried stashing away my money
- 1135
- 01:13:55,529 --> 01:13:58,660
- and then my fucking brother
- broke into my room and stole it.
- 1136
- 01:13:58,994 --> 01:14:01,165
- [music continues playing]
- 1137
- 01:14:07,344 --> 01:14:10,475
- If-- if I ever to told my dad
- what my brother did to me,
- 1138
- 01:14:10,851 --> 01:14:13,565
- my dad would be like
- on his ass right now.
- 1139
- 01:14:13,732 --> 01:14:15,611
- He'll like... He'd be so...
- Oh, my God!
- 1140
- 01:14:17,114 --> 01:14:19,201
- I-- I remember, this one time...
- 1141
- 01:14:19,953 --> 01:14:23,501
- I think, I, like, stole something
- or something, I was like little.
- 1142
- 01:14:24,879 --> 01:14:27,426
- Like, 12, maybe. I stole something.
- 1143
- 01:14:28,136 --> 01:14:31,058
- That was the worst ass whopping
- I've ever gotten.
- 1144
- 01:14:31,183 --> 01:14:34,398
- But it definitely made me
- never steal, like...
- 1145
- 01:14:34,691 --> 01:14:36,318
- I was, like, yeah...
- 1146
- 01:14:36,695 --> 01:14:38,907
- Stealing sucks
- because it gets your ass beat
- 1147
- 01:14:39,116 --> 01:14:41,538
- and, like, you burn bridges.
- 1148
- 01:14:41,872 --> 01:14:43,709
- And burning bridges isn't cool.
- 1149
- 01:14:52,142 --> 01:14:55,064
- Afterwards, after my ass stopped stinging,
- 1150
- 01:14:55,524 --> 01:14:58,697
- he apologized for, like, beating me.
- 1151
- 01:14:59,114 --> 01:15:02,872
- He totally just explained to me.
- It was just how he was raised.
- 1152
- 01:15:06,170 --> 01:15:09,844
- I know that he loved me
- like, that's why he was so hard on me.
- 1153
- 01:15:15,063 --> 01:15:17,735
- [Bing] So, what do you think that
- you've gotten out of this documentary?
- 1154
- 01:15:19,656 --> 01:15:20,908
- Um...
- 1155
- 01:15:24,248 --> 01:15:27,045
- It's almost like... fucking free therapy.
- 1156
- 01:15:27,128 --> 01:15:29,132
- -[chuckles]
- -Yeah.
- 1157
- 01:15:30,051 --> 01:15:33,057
- I'm making this film because I was...
- 1158
- 01:15:33,391 --> 01:15:35,228
- physically disciplined by my step father
- 1159
- 01:15:35,436 --> 01:15:37,232
- and it didn't make sense to me
- 1160
- 01:15:37,440 --> 01:15:40,823
- and I saw myself in your own story.
- 1161
- 01:15:41,448 --> 01:15:42,367
- Hmm.
- 1162
- 01:15:43,996 --> 01:15:45,081
- Wow.
- 1163
- 01:15:48,672 --> 01:15:49,632
- That's...
- 1164
- 01:15:50,926 --> 01:15:53,431
- Wow, Bing, I had no idea, dude.
- 1165
- 01:15:53,974 --> 01:15:56,771
- You know, that's really cool, though.
- 1166
- 01:16:01,196 --> 01:16:02,157
- Wow.
- 1167
- 01:16:03,952 --> 01:16:06,248
- [Bing] So, this might be a weird question,
- 1168
- 01:16:06,332 --> 01:16:09,338
- but you spent a lot of time
- in Zack's house growing up.
- 1169
- 01:16:09,589 --> 01:16:12,637
- Do you think Zack is
- capable of hitting a woman?
- 1170
- 01:16:15,308 --> 01:16:16,352
- Hmm.
- 1171
- 01:16:17,980 --> 01:16:21,278
- Maybe if he's drunk enough,
- and, like, she's, like, hitting him,
- 1172
- 01:16:21,487 --> 01:16:23,909
- like, fucking beating the shit out of him
- or something, maybe.
- 1173
- 01:16:24,034 --> 01:16:26,455
- But I don't think Zack
- would ever just like...
- 1174
- 01:16:27,792 --> 01:16:32,175
- like, just fucking strike a woman.
- Like, I don't think he'd ever do that.
- 1175
- 01:16:44,745 --> 01:16:47,205
- -My, my stepmom and my dad? Um...
- -Yeah.
- 1176
- 01:16:48,542 --> 01:16:49,877
- Yeah, I mean, all the time.
- 1177
- 01:16:50,253 --> 01:16:52,424
- They fucking, most of the time
- they argued about me.
- 1178
- 01:16:53,008 --> 01:16:54,554
- [chuckles] Uh...
- 1179
- 01:16:55,430 --> 01:16:57,601
- Like once or twice
- the cops came to my house, but...
- 1180
- 01:16:58,102 --> 01:17:00,941
- that was when I was young, young,
- maybe, like, 10 or 12.
- 1181
- 01:17:01,275 --> 01:17:04,489
- You know what I mean that?
- Not... not as a teenager. It never got...
- 1182
- 01:17:05,826 --> 01:17:07,747
- I don't think it ever got,
- like, real physical.
- 1183
- 01:17:07,997 --> 01:17:10,042
- I think just the fight got real gnarly.
- 1184
- 01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:14,217
- I mean, shit, I've called the cops on
- fuckin' Nina, on my baby mama before.
- 1185
- 01:17:14,802 --> 01:17:17,056
- Like, sometimes
- you just need the fight to stop.
- 1186
- 01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:23,194
- Oh.
- 1187
- 01:17:23,194 --> 01:17:25,156
- I don't know if you filmed the recording.
- 1188
- 01:17:25,364 --> 01:17:26,910
- That was a pretty...
- 1189
- 01:17:27,787 --> 01:17:29,749
- Like every other day occurrence.
- 1190
- 01:17:29,832 --> 01:17:33,005
- She just fuckin' loses her damn shit.
- 1191
- 01:17:33,088 --> 01:17:34,884
- And she won't shut the fuck up
- 1192
- 01:17:34,967 --> 01:17:38,140
- and it just keeps escalating
- and escalating and escalating and...
- 1193
- 01:17:38,767 --> 01:17:39,936
- [exhales]
- 1194
- 01:17:40,646 --> 01:17:45,404
- You know, my deal with women,
- kinda the way I've dealt with it is,
- 1195
- 01:17:45,488 --> 01:17:48,452
- you know, they get all fuckin' heated
- and mad about shit
- 1196
- 01:17:48,537 --> 01:17:50,039
- or they're complaining about this...
- 1197
- 01:17:50,206 --> 01:17:53,087
- I'm like all right, I'm leaving, bye!
- 1198
- 01:17:53,170 --> 01:17:54,924
- But if a fuckin' woman,
- 1199
- 01:17:55,592 --> 01:17:57,303
- is acting a fucking fool,
- 1200
- 01:17:57,387 --> 01:17:58,765
- they're been acting a fool,
- 1201
- 01:17:58,849 --> 01:18:02,105
- you've asked them to stop, you've tried to
- get away from the situation
- 1202
- 01:18:02,188 --> 01:18:05,779
- and you've done everything that you can
- do, to avoid the situation peacefully,
- 1203
- 01:18:05,863 --> 01:18:07,198
- and she's coming to you,
- 1204
- 01:18:07,323 --> 01:18:08,702
- wanting to argue and fight like
- 1205
- 01:18:08,785 --> 01:18:11,331
- she's a fuckin' man, like,
- she's ready to hurt you.
- 1206
- 01:18:11,331 --> 01:18:12,835
- The...
- 1207
- 01:18:12,835 --> 01:18:13,795
- Ah...
- 1208
- 01:18:14,922 --> 01:18:16,341
- You can't beat up women.
- 1209
- 01:18:17,385 --> 01:18:20,517
- But some bitches need to get slapped
- sometimes, does that make sense?
- 1210
- 01:18:27,405 --> 01:18:29,994
- [Bing] You stayed with him
- because at times, he was sweet.
- 1211
- 01:18:30,286 --> 01:18:33,042
- So what gave you the strength
- to finally leave him?
- 1212
- 01:18:42,352 --> 01:18:44,272
- [Bing's mother]
- Seventeen years.
- 1213
- 01:18:47,691 --> 01:18:51,680
- Um... but then he died anyway.
- 1214
- 01:19:00,981 --> 01:19:03,812
- But that's how I have deal with it.
- 1215
- 01:19:03,812 --> 01:19:06,274
- I don't like that, even now,
- I don't know what to do.
- 1216
- 01:19:17,798 --> 01:19:20,887
- [Nina] Zack and I went to court
- for child support.
- 1217
- 01:19:21,179 --> 01:19:24,060
- And you know,
- it was like one of those moments
- 1218
- 01:19:24,144 --> 01:19:27,275
- where I was just like, wow, like,
- what am I doing with my life.
- 1219
- 01:19:29,362 --> 01:19:30,782
- Wow, you're so cool!
- 1220
- 01:19:31,408 --> 01:19:34,080
- [Zack] You know, on one hand of my brain,
- I'm like,
- 1221
- 01:19:34,164 --> 01:19:37,003
- you shouldn't be around your kid ever,
- like, you-- you fucking suck.
- 1222
- 01:19:37,713 --> 01:19:40,510
- And on the other hand, I'm like no,
- that's my child.
- 1223
- 01:19:42,681 --> 01:19:44,059
- [Keire] "Happy fathers' day.
- 1224
- 01:19:44,894 --> 01:19:48,150
- I hope you all get to spend
- some time with your fathers.
- 1225
- 01:19:48,610 --> 01:19:52,910
- The last time I talked to my dad,
- I argued and fought with him.
- 1226
- 01:19:53,578 --> 01:19:55,999
- I moved out the next day."
- 1227
- 01:20:06,521 --> 01:20:10,444
- The, uh, the last time I came here,
- it was his funeral.
- 1228
- 01:20:14,662 --> 01:20:17,333
- You don't wanna think about it.
- 1229
- 01:20:22,260 --> 01:20:26,686
- Not necessarily, I get--
- I feel, like, shaky and anxious.
- 1230
- 01:20:27,563 --> 01:20:29,900
- I don't--I don't really
- think about him that much.
- 1231
- 01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:43,093
- I've never been able to deal with myself.
- 1232
- 01:20:43,636 --> 01:20:45,055
- Because I'm so busy.
- 1233
- 01:20:45,431 --> 01:20:48,437
- I'm not even convincing other people,
- I'm convincing myself
- 1234
- 01:20:48,646 --> 01:20:51,819
- that I'm a good person or...
- I feel like a clown.
- 1235
- 01:20:52,654 --> 01:20:53,698
- Almost, you know?
- 1236
- 01:20:54,783 --> 01:20:57,956
- You paint up your face
- and you put on your act for everybody.
- 1237
- 01:21:00,545 --> 01:21:03,843
- And you let that act become you.
- 1238
- 01:21:11,776 --> 01:21:14,615
- [Nina] I've always been something
- to someone, you know.
- 1239
- 01:21:14,698 --> 01:21:17,955
- I was someone's daughter, someone's
- sister, someone's significant other
- 1240
- 01:21:18,038 --> 01:21:19,499
- and then someone's mom.
- 1241
- 01:21:19,583 --> 01:21:23,090
- [laughs] So it's like, I never got that
- chance to just, like, figure myself out.
- 1242
- 01:21:25,845 --> 01:21:29,561
- I really wish,
- I could fucking just remember where it is.
- 1243
- 01:21:31,398 --> 01:21:34,571
- It's like, it would make this day
- a lot better for me...
- 1244
- 01:21:42,211 --> 01:21:43,881
- [Zack] I don't want my son...
- 1245
- 01:21:45,050 --> 01:21:46,303
- I just don't want him to grow up...
- 1246
- 01:21:47,889 --> 01:21:51,062
- you know, like fucked up,
- like me, you know?
- 1247
- 01:21:58,118 --> 01:22:01,207
- I can't let myself think that the reason
- 1248
- 01:22:01,416 --> 01:22:05,424
- I have to struggle so hard
- that's 'cause I fucking suck.
- 1249
- 01:22:06,719 --> 01:22:09,349
- I can't... You know, that's what
- the drinking is about.
- 1250
- 01:22:09,641 --> 01:22:11,311
- That's what it's all about.
- 1251
- 01:22:12,104 --> 01:22:14,610
- I just wanna hide, I just wanna run away.
- 1252
- 01:22:25,089 --> 01:22:27,468
- [Zack] It's such a crushing,
- hopeless feeling.
- 1253
- 01:22:28,178 --> 01:22:31,351
- It just sucks knowing
- that you're your own enemy.
- 1254
- 01:22:31,602 --> 01:22:37,238
- That every decision you've ever made has
- culminated in how shitty your life is now.
- 1255
- 01:22:39,283 --> 01:22:40,954
- And there's no escaping it.
- 1256
- 01:22:41,956 --> 01:22:43,375
- [Bing's mother]
- I don't know...
- 1257
- 01:22:43,543 --> 01:22:44,962
- I tried to help you.
- 1258
- 01:22:54,648 --> 01:22:57,403
- Well, the reason why
- I wanted to make this film was...
- 1259
- 01:22:57,821 --> 01:23:01,369
- Maybe I'm-- maybe you're right,
- maybe I'm--
- 1260
- 01:23:01,494 --> 01:23:03,916
- I need to just move on
- and not dwell in the past
- 1261
- 01:23:16,984 --> 01:23:18,111
- Hey, cut.
- 1262
- 01:23:28,591 --> 01:23:30,052
- [Keire] Oh, my God.
- 1263
- 01:23:31,514 --> 01:23:33,058
- Fucking, yes!
- 1264
- 01:23:34,811 --> 01:23:38,443
- I fucking-- I finally fucking found it.
- 1265
- 01:23:39,613 --> 01:23:40,740
- [laughs]
- 1266
- 01:23:41,366 --> 01:23:42,536
- [sniffs]
- 1267
- 01:23:53,599 --> 01:23:55,310
- [whispering] I'm so fucking happy.
- 1268
- 01:25:00,858 --> 01:25:01,819
- Fuck!
- 1269
- 01:25:15,303 --> 01:25:16,389
- Let's-- Let's go.
- 1270
- 01:25:28,914 --> 01:25:30,000
- [exhales]
- 1271
- 01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:14,213
- I get mad at skateboarding, like, a lot.
- 1272
- 01:26:14,338 --> 01:26:18,681
- But at the end of the day I love it
- so much, I can't stay mad at it. [laughs]
- 1273
- 01:26:21,418 --> 01:26:22,688
- Yeah, so did my dad.
- 1274
- 01:26:22,688 --> 01:26:24,274
- But I love him to death.
- 1275
- 01:26:33,125 --> 01:26:34,168
- [no audio]
- 1276
- 01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:47,106
- I'm about to do this shit.
- 1277
- 01:27:47,189 --> 01:27:49,402
- [laughs] Oh, my God, dude,
- I'm gonna fuckin' do it.
- 1278
- 01:27:52,032 --> 01:27:53,911
- [exhales] Moving to Denver.
- 1279
- 01:27:53,911 --> 01:27:55,790
- [sniffles and sighs]
- 1280
- 01:28:01,342 --> 01:28:02,721
- [television blaring]
- 1281
- 01:28:10,820 --> 01:28:12,239
- Can't you wait another month?
- 1282
- 01:28:12,323 --> 01:28:14,077
- [Keire laughs] No.
- 1283
- 01:28:14,285 --> 01:28:16,582
- -'Til it get warm?
- -No, Mom.
- 1284
- 01:28:24,347 --> 01:28:25,850
- See you later, baby.
- 1285
- 01:29:03,091 --> 01:29:05,179
- ["This Year"
- by The Mountain Goats playing]
- 1286
- 01:29:23,549 --> 01:29:26,471
- ♪ I broke free on a Saturday morning ♪
- 1287
- 01:29:26,764 --> 01:29:29,853
- ♪ I put the pedal to the floor ♪
- 1288
- 01:29:30,479 --> 01:29:32,943
- ♪ Headed north on Mills Avenue ♪
- 1289
- 01:29:33,694 --> 01:29:36,784
- ♪ And listened to the engine roar ♪
- 1290
- 01:29:37,368 --> 01:29:40,040
- -Look, I made this for you!
- -Thanks!
- 1291
- 01:29:51,354 --> 01:29:52,983
- ♪ My broken house behind me ♪
- 1292
- 01:29:53,108 --> 01:29:54,485
- ♪ And good things ahead ♪
- 1293
- 01:29:54,569 --> 01:29:57,366
- ♪ A girl named Cathy
- Wants a little of my time ♪
- 1294
- 01:29:58,118 --> 01:29:59,538
- ♪ Six cylinders underneath the hood ♪
- 1295
- 01:30:04,756 --> 01:30:07,929
- ♪ I am going to make it
- Through this year ♪
- 1296
- 01:30:08,179 --> 01:30:09,850
- ♪ If it kills me ♪
- 1297
- 01:30:11,477 --> 01:30:14,651
- ♪ I am going to make it
- Through this year ♪
- 1298
- 01:30:14,943 --> 01:30:16,530
- ♪ If it kills me ♪
- 1299
- 01:30:18,491 --> 01:30:21,665
- ♪ I drove home in the California dusk ♪
- 1300
- 01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:25,673
- ♪ I could feel the alcohol
- Inside of me hum ♪
- 1301
- 01:30:25,757 --> 01:30:28,345
- ♪ Pictured the look
- On my stepfather's face ♪
- 1302
- 01:30:33,438 --> 01:30:35,400
- ♪ As I pulled into the driveway ♪
- 1303
- 01:30:36,277 --> 01:30:39,618
- ♪ The motor screaming out
- Stuck in second gear ♪
- 1304
- 01:30:39,701 --> 01:30:42,456
- ♪ The scene ends badly
- As you might imagine ♪
- 1305
- 01:30:43,041 --> 01:30:45,922
- ♪ In a cavalcade of anger and fear ♪
- 1306
- 01:30:49,679 --> 01:30:53,353
- ♪ In Jerusalem next year ♪
- 1307
- 01:30:53,436 --> 01:30:56,401
- ♪ I am going to make it
- Through this year ♪
- 1308
- 01:30:56,735 --> 01:30:58,739
- ♪ If it kills me ♪
- 1309
- 01:31:00,283 --> 01:31:03,206
- ♪ I am going to make it
- Through this year ♪
- 1310
- 01:31:03,582 --> 01:31:05,419
- ♪ If it kills me ♪
- 1311
- 01:31:12,391 --> 01:31:14,688
- [woman] Cheese, come on boy, come on!
- 1312
- 01:31:26,962 --> 01:31:28,591
- Awesome!
- 1313
- 01:31:33,183 --> 01:31:34,686
- Fuck!
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