Roman Hernandez
                                                                                                                                               Per. 4
  How it feels to be Old me
When I wrote this essay I couldn't even find one specific word to describe how It feels to be me right now but I decided old is one of the words at least I thought could describe how I feel about myself right now. I thought I maybe could’ve done smart me but a whole bunch of people are going to do that already which I know doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it but I feel the need to do something I think is a little bit more different to accurate describe the way I feel I am. No offense but writing a 2-3 page essay about how smart you are seems a little bit arrogant to me as well to me intelligence can’t even be measured by school grades, some people are going to be good at different things but suck at other things as well as just not do their work which problaby is seen as not being very smart to not do your work but for example einstein did bad at school but he still is seen as a genius so did many other people who are successful and seen as smart. As you could tell by me criticising people who say their smart because of their good grades I might sound a bit grouchy but that’s also how many old people are. Simply stated I feel like an Old person when im with other people my age. Going back to my previous thought I started to think that because one time we had a substitute his name was Mr.Meek He told us that people always thought of him as smart because he got good grades and graduated college, but when they asked him if he thought of himself as smart he said no because all he did was do what he was told and did his school work. Which when it comes down to it most of the grade you get in classes is based heavily on homework which is pretty easy to do for most people but can be bad for people like myself who have bad work ethics so they decide not to work on it as much.
                          The first time I started to feel like an old person around other people my age was 10th grade when a student who sat next to me got out his electronic smoking pen and started vaping next to me during class while the teacher wasn’t paying attention. I started to really not feel like the other people my age they did and thought many things differently than me that was one of them I guess. Many people I just can’t relate to at all and the way they are I feel they are like children trying to act mature or a certain way not their true selves and I can feel that so I can’t relate and I feel alienated sometimes I was unable to make friends. I used to hang out with a friend group during 10th grade but I started to dislike being in that group since they were driven by doing drugs and other things that really didn’t seem fun to me so I left the group one day then just stuck with my best friend who thought like I did he just was himself and just liked to have fun and be happy. That’s what I think about stuff now that in the end, you just do whatever makes you happy its what should drive and does drive most people, for example gay people, being gay makes them happy so they go do it and kids who do drugs at this school they do it because it also makes them happy. Just what makes me happy is different than things other people like I can’t relate to a lot of people my age they aren’t into the stuff that i’m into. What I like to do for fun is watch tv shows make funny videos try to make people laugh around me pretty much just want to do what i want to  have fun I know lots of people are into these things but the problem is a lot of it isn’t socially acceptable for most people I tried already to show my friend videos I think are funny but he just asked me “are they special ed.?” so I just realized people don’t know about the things I do i’m a little bit of an old hipster I guess. I don’t take things as seriously as many other people do is the thing just like an old person who knows they could die, they just focus on being happy being at peace but could be grouchy for fun at times because really when it comes down to it you could really die at any moment so in my opinion how they say “live everyday as if it were your last” is a very real quote to me, because we just don’t know if we're gonna die at any moment so you might as well do whatever makes you happy before you do.
                          I was a little bit shell shocked after 8th grade was over since I was in a class that was a GATE class (gifted and talented education program) all of my friends from their were what you would call smart too I feel like me they made me into the person I am now they were very “different” they used to do things differently they were just themselves but they said whatever was on their mind at any moment they wanted unlike people at this school that’s why I think people don’t like sharing during this class they are afraid of being wrong or even just saying what they really think but I have to kind of blend in even though I might have opinions about things.
                      And yes this also effected what I thought about many of the girls at the school too none of them I felt thought like I did so I didn’t like anyone in that way. But I solved that issue when I met someone I really liked that I could be myself with who doesn’t go to MHS she was the one who said this to me too that she felt like an old person around people her age I thought that before her but it is interesting how people I like also think a lot like I do.