AkiraheartsHideaki V1.80

"Daddy, I drew you this picture. It's a Sakura."
"What have I told you about bothering me in my office?!"
"I'm sorry, Y-you looked sad, I wanted to make you happy."
"Well, you failed. Now get out of my office.  I need to get some work done."
"...... When is mommy back from Scotia?"
"DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME?! I SAID GET OUT!"
"You said she would be back soon! I miss mommy!"

	I see my father quickly raise from his button leather office chair, Me marches towards me shouting,

"WILL YOU EVER STOP WHINING?!"

	I see his left hand come flying towards me. He strikes my right cheek. I lose my balance and start falling. I hit the ground like a piece of deadwood.

My entire body tenses up like being struck by lightning. I rise rapidly from my resting position on my couch. I can feel the beads of sweating dripping down my face. I'm also out of breath. I state to myself in anger,

"Fucking Old bastard"

It is then that I hear a muffled sound. I look down and see Hideaki sleeping, resting his head on my thigh. He seems to become somewhat aware of my movements. I try to not wake him up and caress the back of his head.

"It's alright kiddo, Don't worry, Go back to sleep."

He repositions himself, and within seconds is out like a light.

I like having him around, His lack of social skills is really cute, and his funky sense of style always seems to amaze me. Either way, it's still better than leaving him around that asshole of a father. Too fucking busy to take his sick son to the doctor.

	I come to visit him one day, and i find that Pompous ass Jigoro on the couch dictating to a woman who looks like she's never had fun in her life.  He talking about how  he's had to work hard for everything he had and how he was an inspiration to those around him growing up. Pure bullshit. I don't spot Hideaki, usually he's around the living room re-organizing things or helping his douche of a father. I ask Jigoro,

"Hey Jigs, Where's Hideaki?"

	The smug bastard finishes his sentence and then looks at me with contempt

"The wimp is in bed. Whining about feeling sick. BAH! when I was a kid my dad made me lift weights when I was sick, and then my Grandfather made me go walk 2 Kilometers to buy him sake."
"Yeah sureeee Jigs, I'm going to check up on him"

	I walk through the room and within seconds Jigoro is spewing meaningless words again. I walk up the stairs and find Hideaki's room. I peer Inside and shout

"Heeeeeyyyyyy!~"

	Hideaki is still lying in bed, bunched up in his covers like caterpillar. I walk over to him and shake him slightly.

"You okay Hideaki?"

	He Turns his head towards mine and opens his eyes slowly, He barely speaks the words

"I-I think....... fe-fever."

	Instantly I feel his forehead. Its abnormally hot, I run to the medicine cabinet in the guest room and grab a thermometer. I get Hideaki to open his mouth enough for me to get the thing in. Within 30 seconds the thing goes off.

"Fucking Hell, 44 Degrees. Hang on, I'm gonna get you some meds!"

	I run back to the guest room and find a bottle of Acetaminophen. I grab a glass of warm water and run back to Hideaki. The kid still hasn't moved. I slowly climb onto the bed and prop him up against me. He begins shivering uncontrollably because of this, but I emphatically state

"You gotta take these, otherwise you'll end up the hospital."

	I slowly place the pills in his mouth and then give him water. He swallows, but it's hard for him to do. I hold him in place and try to comfort him. Before I know it.... I'm crying. Not full out wailing, but tears are streaming down my cheeks. It was then that I realized how much the little guy meant to me. He would always cheer up whenever I took him out and would never complain or question anything I told him. He's such a good kid, why does he have to have such a shitty father? He shouldn't have to go through what I did. I try to stop myself, but the tears keep coming. I end up quietly sobbing on him. All the while he's just trying to keep consciousness.
	About half an hour passes and his fever still isn't going down. I decide to take a drastic measure. I run to his bathroom and draw a lukewarm bath. Just warm enough to keep him from convulsing from the temperature change, but cold enough that it would aid his temperature in lowering. I also grab him another Acetaminophen and make sure he drank a good amount of the glass of water as well.
It's then that I start to unravel the cocoon he made for himself. Every layer I remove causes him to shiver more. I had to be quick.

	I scoop him up into my arms and take him to the bath. I whisper to him

"Look this is going to be really uncomfortable okay? but its something we have to do. We have to get your temperature down. I'm going to be right beside you the entire time okay?"

	I begin to lower him into the tub, he begins to shiver as soon as his legs hit the water. Once I have him in he begins shaking. I grab his hand and I begin caressing it. If this didn't work I would have to take him to the hospital, and that's something his dad would just give him shit for. I sat there for Half an hour caressing his hand. Finally he began to stop shivering and he was able to take deeper breaths. I keep him there for another 15 min just to be sure and then I grab a towel and lift him out. Although being much more aware, i tell him not so speak, just to try to rest. I put a nice new pair of Pjs on him and then Put him back in bed. I took of my most of my clothes as well, borrowed one of Jigoro's PJ suits and got in bed with him. Now that he was better I hugged him and slept by his side. Got in a good 3 hour nap until he started to wake up. He was Shy and nervous as fuck when he woke up with my arms around him. He was able to turn around slowly and face me. He looked into my eyes and then his started filling with tears. Instinctively I ask him,

“Why the need for tears?”

	He blinks and the tears fall from his eyes and on to the pillows.

“I’m weak, I wasn’t able to take care of myself, someone else had to do it. Dad was right, I’m just a little wimp. I’m sorry Akira.”

	His lip begins to quiver and more tears begin streaming down his face. I wipe away some tears, but more just keep coming.

“Why does he hate me? I try my best to make him happy, yet all he does is make fun of me. Yesterday he started questioning my ability to be a man. He said that because I don’t hang out with girls, I’m going to be a queer. I feel even worse because I haven’t even kissed a girl yet, while all my friends have. I think he’s right.”

	I caress his cheek with my hand. I look him straight in the eyes and state,

“Your father acts like this because he is hiding his own weakness, He’s just like my douche of a father in the sense that he tries to make himself feel better by putting down all those around him. Your Dad is actually better than mine. You’re not going to turn out queer, trust me.”

“But I haven’t even kissed a gir-”

	It is then that I place my hand on his chin and tilt his head upwards a bit. I bring my face closer and give him a full hearted kiss on the lips in mid sentence. I even add a little bit of tongue in the end for emphasis. I pull back and he looks into my eyes with shock and awe.

“B-but…t-t-that’s not ho-“

	Tears well up in eyes again and he comes forward, buries his face in between my breasts, and begins sobbing. I caress the back of his head

“ssshhh, It’s alright… now you can stand up to your Dad and proudly say you HAVE kissed a girl.”

	I try to calm him down. It looks like I overwhelmed the poor guy. I hear his muffled voice from in between my breasts

“I-i-im s-sorry Akira…”

“No need to be sorry, yeh? Just try to calm down okay?”

	I keep caressing his head and we stay in this position until he is able to breathe without the hiccups that come with intense crying. Our embrace ends and he brings his face up to mine. Bringing his face closer, he pecked me on the cheek. That was the first time that HE kissed me.  Right after he did it, he calmly stated,

"Thank you Akira"

	He melted my heart, right then and there.

I look back down at him in current sleep bound state. It's angelic. However, With that nightmare of my monster of a father still bothering me I decide to get a drink. taking Insomnia pills at this time of the night would be unwise. I slowly get out from underneath Hideaki and put the covers over him. I walk towards my kitchen counter, I always keep a bottle of crown royal there. I walk up to the Island counter and feel around for the bottle. I grab it, open it, and take 10 second swig. I finish it and let taste sit on my toungue

"Jesus Christ that's good."

I put the bottle back, and then start walking to the couch. As I walk by the main counter where I keep my keys and telephone, I kick something. I track it down from the sound it makes and then pick it up. I turn on the light and look at it. It's my bottle of Anti-depressants. As I look at the bottle that says "60mgs daily at bedtime" it hits me.

"I took my medicine before I went to bed. I drank with them in my system.... Here comes the fucking nightmare"

I put the bottle back on the counter and go to my bedroom, I slowly shut the door and lie down again the wall, I put my back up and try to breathe. I breath in and out for 20 Min. It's too late to vomit up the alcohol, I have to deal with it. About another 20 minutes pass by when I begin to hear the voices.

"You're fucking worthless, what the fuck do you think you're going to accomplish my staying alive? Just end it now..."

I try to keep calm and keep my focus on the lyrics of my favorite trance song, Skyfire by Shogun

"You know why dad hit you? It's because you fucking deserve it! What will you ever do to raise the family name?!"

With that negative thought my father's voice resonates through my mind.

"quit your whining! You'll never amount to anything anyway! go get me a beer."

With that i scream to myself in my mind,

"get out of my head to old FUCK"

It's then that I notice that I screamed the word "fuck" out loud. I pray to God Hideaki didn't hear that. I don't want him to see me like this.  The nightmare effect turns me into an emotional wreck, I need to be strong for him. The voices keep coming and some are getting louder. I look up to see the door swing open and the outer room's lights on, Hideaki in the doorway wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Akira... what are you doing?.. are we gonna sleep in the bed now?"

In my dilapidated state I try to calmly re-assure him but my words are quick and jumbled together.

"Imfine....justgobacktothecouchokay? I'llonlybeaminute"

He comes over to me and gets on my level

"Akira, what wrong? are you hurt? do you need me to get something?"

"yeahgetmesomewaterplease. Imstartingtosweat."

He runs out  of the room and into the kitchen to get me a glass. Even though the voices are ravaging my mind, i still manage to say to myself that he's a good kid. He's like my little angel, always trying to help me out or make things less bothersome for me in one way or another, i begin to get a little watery eyed thinking about him. He returns with the glass and I gulp it down in a matter of seconds.

"Thankskiddoineededthat"

"Are you sure there isn't something else i can do? why are you like this Akira?"

"IsomethingbadHideaki."

I try as hard as possible to speak clearly

"I drank with my Anti-depressants still in my system."

"What does that do to you? Is it dangerous?"

"It... Does bad things to my mind, It makes me hear things... things are not pleasant. I call it the 'nightmare effect'"

The tears are beginning to come, His presence alone is one of the thing that's causing them. Emotions are running rampant. Hideaki then puts his hand on my shoulder and says,

"Don't worry! I'll call an ambulance, we'll get you better!"

As he tries to get up and leave my side I leap up and grab him.

"NO! NO PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE, HIDEAKI!"

Its then that the waterworks start coming and begin heavily sobbing. Hideaki is completely taken aback.

"A-Akira... I've never seen you like this. This...This is my fault Isn't it?"

I Squeeze him and reply back in full force and emotion

"ITS NOT YOU'RE FAULT! ITS NOT! DON'T HURT YOURSELF BECAUSE OF ME!"

He then does something that I've never seen him do, He drops done and actually starts comforting me beginning with a strongest hug he's ever given me.

"Akira, It's okay... you need to calm down"

Calm down.... the same words I said to him all those months ago. He then begins rubbing my back.
"It's gonna be okay Akira."

I am able to keep my voice at a tolerable level but the hiccups from sobbing are still there.

"N-No, This is M-my fault. I-I-I- I shouldn't have put my problems upon your shoulders."

"I never knew you had problems Akira. You always look so happy."

"I always l-l-l-look happy because...."

I can't contain it any it longer and I begin full out sobbing again. I manage to shout my words while my face is buried in his right shoulder.

"I-I-I LOVE YOU! I-I LOVE YOU HIDEAKI!....."

He goes completely silent, but I could not stop myself in that outburst, but gain control of my speech a bit.

"W-whenever I'm around you I'm the happiest I can be. You make me want to l-live to see the next day. Your style, attitude, and even your c-cute looks. It's why I come to see you so m-much."

I sob again on his shoulder, but then he responds.

"I love you too Akira. You're my everything, You're the one who made me keep my style, and the way I act. I was planning on......because of my dad.... and the kids at school.... I-I was...."

He then lets loose as well, He falls on me and just sobs. We sat there for 15 minutes. The voices kept coming in my mind, but at least his embrace was something I could concentrate on. I was able to keep the voices away because of it. Once again he was the one to surprise me, He let go of me when he was sure my sobbing and hiccups had subsided and took off his hair ribbon.

"I want you to have this, Akira. With it I'll always be with you. I have more of these, but this one is special. It was the first one that I ever tied in my hair."

Another act of unbridled kindness. I was about to begin crying again, but i stopped myself. I took off a ring from my right hand and gave it to him.

"Hideaki, With this ring, you'll always have my love and my protection. It's too big for you right now, but I'm sure you can make a necklace out of it, You're cute like that."

He begins to blush before he enters my embrace again, retreating to his safe place between by breasts. We ended up falling asleep like that, locked in each other's arms and on the floor.

I woke up the morning with a clear mind and sore eyes. I can feel something through his back. It's his heartbeat. I try to concentrate on mine as well, It seems like they are almost in sync. I slowly turn my head to look at his face. I lean forward and kiss his forehead. I then whisper as quietly as I can

"My problems still haunt me, I don't want them to do the same to you. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise. Even if I'm dragged to Scotland, I'll find a way to keep you safe if I can't bring you with me."

I take a deep breath and concentrate on his heartbeat again. It's soo soothing.