Juno

1
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,340
It started with a chair.

2
00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:16,540
I've wanted this
for a really long time.

3
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:19,140
I know.

4
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:22,540
Wizard.

5
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,340
Jeez Banana,
shut your freakin' gob OK?

6
00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:39,940
This is the most magnificent discarded
living room set I've ever seen.

7
00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:13,140
Well, well, if it isn't
MacGuff the Crime Dog.

8
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:14,540
Back for another test?

9
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,840
I think the first one was defective,

10
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:21,240
The plus sign looks more like a division symbol,
so I remain unconvinced.

11
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:27,640
Third test today, Momma Bear, your
eggo's preggo, no doubt about it.

12
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,540
It's really easy to tell,
is your nipples real brown?

13
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,940
Yeah, maybe your little boyfriend's
got mutant sperms, knocked you up twice.

14
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:40,340
Silencio, old man. Look, I just drank my
weight in SunnyD and I gotta go pronto.

15
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:42,940
Well, you know where the lavatory is.

16
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,740
Pay for that pee stick when you're done.

17
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:50,440
Don't think it's yours just 'cause
you marked it with your urine.

18
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:23,040
What's the prognosis,
Fertile Myrtle: Minus or plus?

19
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,140
I don't know, it's not seasoned yet.

20
00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:27,740
I'll take some of these.

21
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,440
There it is.

22
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:38,240
The little pink plus sign is so unholy.

23
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:44,740
That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch, this is one
doodle that can't be undid, homeskillet.

24
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,240
Yo-yo-yiggity-yo.

25
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:09,840
I'm a suicide risk.

26
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,140
Juno?

27
00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:14,040
No, it's Morgan Freeman, do you
have any bones that need collecting?

28
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:17,340
Only the one in my pants.

29
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:19,940
I'm pregnant.

30
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,940
What? Honest to blog?

31
00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:23,940
Yeah, it's Bleeker's.

32
00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:27,540
It's probably just a food
baby, did you have a big lunch?

33
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:34,140
This is not a food baby, Alright I've taken three
pregnancy tests and I am fo' shiz up the spout.

34
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,240
How did you even generate enough pee for
three pregnancy tests? That's amazing.

35
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,040
I don't know, I drank
like ten tons of SunnyD.

36
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:47,640
Anyway dude, I'm telling you I'm pregnant and
you're acting shockingly cavalier.

37
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:50,140
Is this for real?
Like for real for real?

38
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,240
Unfortunately yes.

39
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,840
Oh, my God!

40
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,940
Oh shit! Phuket Thailand!

41
00:07:59,540 --> 00:08:02,940
There we go that was kind of the emotion that I
was searching for on the first take.

42
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,440
So are you going to
Havenbrook or Women Now?

43
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,140
Cause you know you need a note from your
parents for Havenbrook.

44
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:13,040
Yeah, I know. No, I'm going to go to Women
Now, just 'cause they help out women now.

45
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:15,940
Hey! Do you want me to call for you?
Because I called for Becky last year.

46
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,040
No, I can call myself.

47
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,940
Oh, but I do need your help with
something, it's like critically important.

48
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,840
You know, heavy lifting can
really only help you at this point.

49
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:26,640
Seriously.

50
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,240
So, you were bored? That's how
this blessed miracle came to be?

51
00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:35,340
No, the act was premeditated. I mean, the
sex, not the whole "let's get pregnant" thing.

52
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:40,240
So, when did you decide that
you were gonna do Bleeker?

53
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:42,340
I don't know.

54
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,640
A year ago in Spanish class.

55
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:49,940
You love him.

56
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,940
It's actually really complicated, OK?

57
00:08:56,540 --> 00:09:00,240
And I don't feel like talking
about it in my fragile state.

58
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:02,540
So what was it like?

59
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:04,640
Humping Bleek's bony bod?

60
00:09:05,940 --> 00:09:07,040
Magnificent.

61
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,140
Hey, Bleek.

62
00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:49,540
Wicked tiger.

63
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:51,340
It looks proud.

64
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,140
I swiped it from Ms. Rancick's lawn.

65
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,840
Wow, your shorts are like
especially gold today.

66
00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:01,040
My mom uses color-safe bleach.

67
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,740
Go Carole.

68
00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:05,040
I'll tell her.

69
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:12,840
When I see them all running like that, with
their things bouncing around in their shorts,

70
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,340
I always picture them naked, even if I
don't want to, all I see is pork swords.

71
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,240
I'm supposed to be running.

72
00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:22,540
So guess what.

73
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,140
What? I don't know.

74
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,140
I'm pregnant.

75
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:40,940
What should we do?

76
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:49,740
Oh, you know I just, I was thinking I'd just
nip it in the bud before it gets worse.

77
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,840
Because they were talking
about it in health class,

78
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:56,140
how pregnancy can
often lead to an infant.

79
00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:58,140
Typically, yeah, yeah.

80
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,440
That's what happens when our
moms and teachers get pregnant.

81
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,540
So, you're cool with that then?

82
00:11:07,740 --> 00:11:10,140
Yeah, yeah, wizard. I mean you know,

83
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,140
I guess do whatever you think
you should do, you know?

84
00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:20,240
Well, I'm sorry I had sex with you,

85
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,740
I know it wasn't your idea.

86
00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,040
Whose idea was it?

87
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:27,940
I'll see you at school, alright?

88
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:33,140
Whose idea was it?

89
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,640
Hey, your book fell apart.

90
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:03,440
Right.

91
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,140
It must have looked at your face.

92
00:12:08,340 --> 00:12:11,040
The funny thing is that Steve
Rendazo secretly wants me.

93
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,640
Jocks like him always want freaky girls.

94
00:12:14,140 --> 00:12:18,440
Girls with horn-rimmed glasses
and vegan footwear and Goth makeup.

95
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:22,240
Girls who like play the cello
and read McSweeney's and

96
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,140
want to be children's
librarians when they grow up.

97
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,140
Oh yeah, jocks totally eat that shit up.

98
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,140
They just won't admit
it, because they're

99
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,640
supposed to be into perfect
cheerleaders you know,

100
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,540
Like Leah, who incidentally
is into teachers.

101
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,040
Me too, I love Woody Allen!

102
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:43,840
Alright people.

103
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,440
We're doing chromatography
lab today, so find

104
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,640
your partners and break
into groups of four.

105
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,240
Well, there's nothing
like experimenting.

106
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,440
I did the prep questions
for this lab last night,

107
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,240
so you can just copy
my answers if you want.

108
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:03,440
I couldn't copy your work.

109
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,440
You copy my work every week.

110
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:07,940
True, I'm kind of a deadbeat
lab partner, aren't I?

111
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:10,240
No, no, I don't mind. I think you
definitely bring something to the table.

112
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:11,440
Charisma.

113
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,940
Who's ready for some chromamagnificence?

114
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,440
I have a menstrual migraine, so I can't
really look at bright lights today.

115
00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:23,340
Amanda, I told you to go to the
infirmary and lie down. You never listen.

116
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,440
No, Josh, because I don't take orders.
Not from you and not from any man.

117
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,440
You know, you've been
acting like this ever since

118
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,840
I got back from visiting
my brother in Mankato.

119
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,940
I already told you, nothing happened.

120
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,840
Well, I'm gonna set up the apparatus.

121
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,640
Juno, do you want to
plug in the Bunsen burner?

122
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,040
It's my pleasure.

123
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:40,040
I'm going to the infirmary.

124
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,340
Good. Call me when you get off the rag.

125
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,240
Fine, call me when you
learn how to love someone,

126
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,840
instead of cheating at
your brother's college,

127
00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:47,040
Just because you've had
four Smirnoff Ices and

128
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,840
a bottle of Snow Peak
Peach flavored Boone's!

129
00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:51,640
Good, Amanda, I'll be sure to
do that, I'll make a note of it.

130
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:59,040
I've actually heard that the Snow Peak
Peach flavor is the best flavor of Boone's.

131
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,440
Isn't that right, Bleek?

132
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,140
Oprimo numero dos.

133
00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:28,440
Yeah, I'm just calling to
procure a hasty abortion.

134
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,240
What?

135
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,840
Can you just hold on for a
second, I'm on my hamburger phone.

136
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,940
Okay, now I can,

137
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:43,440
Yeah, it's just really awkward to talk on.

138
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:47,940
Yeah, I need an abortion.

139
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,440
Sixteen.

140
00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:56,440
I'm gonna say it's been about two
months and four days since the sex,

141
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,240
Mind you, that's just
like a guestimation.

142
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,940
Sorry, how long have I been what?

143
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,440
Oh, I hate it when adults use
the term "sexually active".

144
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:09,240
What does it even mean?

145
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,740
Can I deactivate someday, or is
this some sort of permanent state of being?

146
00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:15,040
I guess Bleeker went
live that night we did it,

147
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,740
I guess that's why he
got that look on his face.

148
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,340
You should have seen this
octopus furnace at work.

149
00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:24,640
I had to get out my Hazmat
suit just to get into the thing.

150
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,940
My dad used to be in the Army, but now
he's just your average HVAC specialist.

151
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,240
He and my mom got
divorced when I was like five,

152
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,340
She lives on a Havasu
reservation in Arizona

153
00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:35,140
with her new husband and
3 replacement kids.

154
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:38,740
Oh, and she inexplicably mails
me a cactus every Valentine's Day.

155
00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:41,140
And I'm like, Thanks
a heap, Coyote Ugly.

156
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,940
This cactus-gram stings even
worse than your abandonment.

157
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,740
That's my stepmom, Bren, she's
completely obsessed with dogs.

158
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:52,840
Owns a nail salon and always
smells like methylmethacrylate.

159
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:55,940
So Juno, how was your
little maneuver last night?

160
00:15:56,940 --> 00:16:00,340
Which maneuver, sir? The one where I moved an
entire living room set from one lawn to the other,

161
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,540
or the one where I downed a 64
ounce blue slushie in 10 minutes?

162
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,740
Juno, did you by any
chance barf in my urn?

163
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,940
Mac, you know that nice urn by the front
door, the one I got up in Stillwater?

164
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,040
There was some blue shit,

165
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,740
I mean, gunk, stuff
in there this morning.

166
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,240
I would never barf in your urn, Brenda.

167
00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:26,540
I mean, maybe L.B. did it.

168
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:32,740
Liberty Bell, if you put one more Baco on that
potato, I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt.

169
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:40,040
All babies want to get borned!
All babies want to get borned!

170
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,740
All babies want to get borned!

171
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,640
Hey Su-Chin.

172
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,540
Hi, Juno.

173
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,140
How are you?

174
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,740
You know, pretty solid.

175
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,240
So did you write that
paper for Worth's class yet?

176
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,540
No, not yet.

177
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:02,740
I tried to work on it a little last night,
but I'm having trouble concentrating.

178
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:04,840
I'll sell you some of my Adderall.

179
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:07,240
No thanks, I'm off pills.

180
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,840
That's a wise choice 'cause I knew
this girl, she had this crazy freakout.

181
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:15,840
She took too many behavioral meds at
once and she just ripped off her clothes

182
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:22,240
and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall
it was like, Blaaaaah! I'm a kraken from the sea!

183
00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:26,140
I heard that was you.

184
00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:29,840
It was good seeing you, Su-Chin.

185
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:35,440
Your baby probably has a
beating heart, you know?

186
00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:37,540
It can feel pain,

187
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:40,140
And it has fingernails.

188
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:44,440
Fingernails? Really?

189
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:04,140
Welcome to Women Now, where
women are trusted friends.

190
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:07,140
Please put your hands where I can
see them and surrender any bombs.

191
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,040
Hey, I'm here for the big show.

192
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,140
Your name, please?

193
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:14,440
Juno MacGuff.

194
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:18,840
She thinks I'm using a fake name.
Like Gene Simmons or Mother Teresa.

195
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:24,540
I need you to fill
these out, both sides.

196
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:27,440
And don't skip the hairy details we need to know about
every score and every sore.

197
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:31,840
Would you like a free condom?

198
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,540
They're boysenberry.

199
00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:35,640
No, I'm off sex.

200
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,140
My boyfriend uses them every
time we have intercourse.

201
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:42,640
They make his jocks smell like pie.

202
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:21,140
All babies want to get borned!
All babies want to get borned!

203
00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:24,540
God appreciates your miracle!

204
00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,840
Dude, what are you doing here?

205
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:29,440
I'm supposed to come get you at four.

206
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:30,640
I couldn't do it, Leah!

207
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,040
It smelled like a
dentist office in there,

208
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,140
And there were these horrible
magazines with water stains.

209
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,840
And then the friggin'
receptionist is trying to

210
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,240
give me these condoms that
looked like grape suckers,

211
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,140
and just babbling away about her
friggin' boyfriend's pie balls.

212
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:46,240
Yum!

213
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:48,440
And then Su-Chin was there, and she was

214
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,740
like, "Oh hi! Babies have fingernails. "

215
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:52,040
Fingernails!

216
00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:53,240
That's gruesome.

217
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,940
You think the baby can already scratch
your vag on the way out?

218
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,840
I'm staying pregnant, Leah.

219
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,340
Dude! You gotta keep your
voice down, my mom is inside.

220
00:20:02,340 --> 00:20:04,640
She doesn't know that
we're sexually active.

221
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,040
What does that even mean?

222
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:08,740
I've been thinking.

223
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,640
I was thinking that I could have this baby
and give it to someone who totally needs it.

224
00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:15,840
You know, like a woman with a bum
ovary or a couple of nice lesbos.

225
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:19,540
But then you're gonna get like huge
and your chest is gonna milktate.

226
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:25,240
- And youre gonna have let to tell people that you're pregnant.
- But maybe they'll like canonize me for being so selfless.

227
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:31,340
Or maybe they'll like totally shit and be really really mad and
not let you graduate or go to Cabo for spring break.

228
00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:33,340
I was going to go to
Gettysburg with Bleeker anyway.

229
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:38,140
You should look at adoption ads,

230
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,940
I see them all the
time in the Penny Saver.

231
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,640
They have ads for parents?

232
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:49,840
Yeah! "Desperately Seeking Spawn." Right next to like
terriers and iguanas and used fitness equipment and stuff.

233
00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:51,540
It's like totally legit.

234
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,940
"Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple
have found true love with each other. "

235
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:02,540
"All that's missing is your bastard."

236
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,440
I want a parakeet.

237
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,540
You're totally not even listening to me.

238
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:11,740
No, I heard you. I just like I don't want to give the baby to
a family that describes themselves as "wholesome. "

239
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:14,240
- Why?
- I don't know I just want something a little more edgier.

240
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:19,140
- Okay, what did you have in mind exactly?
- I was thinking more like a graphic designer,

241
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:24,540
mid-thirties, you know with a cool Asian girlfriend who
like dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar.

242
00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:26,240
But I don't want to be too particular.

243
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:29,540
OK, how about this?

244
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,940
"Educated, successful couple seeking
infant to join our family of five."

245
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:38,440
"You will be compensated. Help
us complete the circle of love."

246
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,140
That sounds great.

247
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:45,240
They sound like a friggin cult. That was they sound like besides
they already have 3 kids you know there just greedy little bitches.

248
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,340
Oh, Juno! How about this one?

249
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,940
They were Mark and Vanessa Loring,

250
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,240
And they were beautiful
even in black and white.

251
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,540
Paul? Are you coming downstairs to eat?

252
00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:10,040
No, I don't think so.

253
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,340
You ran eight miles today, Puppy.

254
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,940
I'm not hungry, oddly.

255
00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:17,740
But it's breakfast for supper.
It's your favorite, Paul.

256
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:19,340
Yeah.

257
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,640
Juno MacGuff called while
you were out running today.

258
00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:25,640
You know how I feel about her.

259
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,740
You've mentioned it a couple times.

260
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,340
She is just...

261
00:22:32,340 --> 00:22:33,240
...different.

262
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:35,540
Yeah.

263
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,340
I'm not really sure how
I'm gonna spit this out.

264
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:06,040
Hon, did you get expelled?

265
00:23:06,540 --> 00:23:10,340
No. The school would most likely
contact you in the event of my expulsion.

266
00:23:10,940 --> 00:23:12,940
Well, I was just asking.
It seemed plausible.

267
00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:15,840
Do you need a large amount
of money? Legal counsel?

268
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,240
No, I'm not asking for anything.

269
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:22,940
Except for maybe mercy. Like, it would
be friggin' sweet if no one hit me.

270
00:23:23,340 --> 00:23:25,640
What have you done, Junebug?
Did you hit someone with the Previa?

271
00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:26,440
No.

272
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,940
Dude, I think it's
best to just tell them.

273
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,140
I'm pregnant.

274
00:23:38,740 --> 00:23:39,540
Oh, God.

275
00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:42,040
But I'm going to give
it up for adoption.

276
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,640
I already found the perfect couple.

277
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,140
They're gonna pay for the
medical expenses and everything.

278
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,440
In thirty year-odd weeks we can just
pretend that this never happened.

279
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,740
You're pregnant?

280
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,140
I'm sorry.

281
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,740
I'm sorry. And if it is any consolation,

282
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,140
I have heartburn that's
radiating down to my kneecaps

283
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,740
and I haven't take a
dump since Wednesday.

284
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:07,840
Morning!

285
00:24:08,340 --> 00:24:09,640
I didn't even know you
were sexually active!

286
00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:11,940
Who is the kid?

287
00:24:12,740 --> 00:24:17,340
The baby? I don't really know much
about it. It has fingernails, allegedly.

288
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:18,340
Nails? Really?

289
00:24:18,740 --> 00:24:19,440
Yeah.

290
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,840
I mean, who is the father, Juno?

291
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,040
It's Paulie Bleeker.

292
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,240
Paulie Bleeker?

293
00:24:31,140 --> 00:24:31,740
What?

294
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,040
I didn't think he had it in him!

295
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,440
I know, right?

296
00:24:36,740 --> 00:24:38,240
Right, this is no laughing matter.

297
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:39,540
No, it's not.

298
00:24:40,140 --> 00:24:42,240
And you know Paulie is actually great.

299
00:24:43,540 --> 00:24:44,040
In chair.

300
00:24:46,140 --> 00:24:47,240
You were thinking about adoption?

301
00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:50,040
Yeah, there's this couple.

302
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:54,240
They've have been had you know they've trying to
have a kid for like 5 years.

303
00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:56,640
We found them in the Penny
Saver next to the exotic birds.

304
00:24:57,540 --> 00:25:02,040
And they have a legitimate lawyer and I was
going to go meet with them next weekend.

305
00:25:02,140 --> 00:25:04,640
Junebug, that is a
tough, tough thing to do.

306
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,440
It's probably tougher than you
can understand right now.

307
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,040
I know...

308
00:25:11,340 --> 00:25:14,140
...It's just that I'm
not ready to be a mom.

309
00:25:14,740 --> 00:25:15,740
Damn skippy, you're not!

310
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,640
You don't even remember to give
Liberty Bell her breathing meds.

311
00:25:19,140 --> 00:25:22,340
That was once! And she
did not die, if you recall!

312
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,240
Honey, had you considered,
you know, the alternative?

313
00:25:28,140 --> 00:25:29,040
No.

314
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,440
Well, you're a little Viking!

315
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:34,540
First things first,

316
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,340
Alright we have to get you healthy.

317
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,540
You need prenatal vitamins,

318
00:25:38,340 --> 00:25:41,740
Incidentally, they do incredible
things for your nails, so that's a plus.

319
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,140
Oh, and we need to schedule
a doctor's appointment.

320
00:25:44,140 --> 00:25:45,640
Figure out where
you're going to deliver.

321
00:25:46,140 --> 00:25:48,840
Juno, I'm coming with you
to meet this adoption couple.

322
00:25:50,140 --> 00:25:53,340
You're just a kid. I don't want you to get
ripped off by a couple of babystarved wingnuts.

323
00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:55,240
Thanks, Dad.

324
00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:58,440
I thought you were the kind of
girl who knew when to say when.

325
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,040
I don't really know
what kind of girl I am.

326
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,240
Tell it to me straight, Bren.
Do you think this is my fault?

327
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,040
I think kids get bored
and have intercourse.

328
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,440
And I think Junebug was
a dummy about it, Mac.

329
00:26:29,740 --> 00:26:30,940
I am not ready to be a Pop-Pop.

330
00:26:31,540 --> 00:26:32,540
You're not going to be a Pop-Pop.

331
00:26:33,340 --> 00:26:38,140
Somebody else is going to find a precious blessing
from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation.

332
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,740
Did you see that coming
when she sat us down here?

333
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,640
Yeah. But I was hoping she was
expelled or into hard drugs.

334
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,640
That was my first instinct too.
Or D.W.I. Anything but this.

335
00:26:50,940 --> 00:26:53,340
And I'm going to punch that Bleeker kid
in the weiner the next time I see him.

336
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,640
Mac, no. You know it wasn't his idea.

337
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,640
Hi! I'm Vanessa. You must
be Juno and Mr. MacGuff.

338
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:09,540
Vanessa.

339
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:10,940
It's Vanessa, right?

340
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,840
Thanks for having me and my
irresponsible child over to your house.

341
00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:16,440
Oh no. Thank you.

342
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:19,040
Come on in.

343
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,740
Can I take your coat or your hat?

344
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,140
Oh, yeah, sure, thanks.

345
00:28:23,940 --> 00:28:26,640
Wicked pic in the Penny Saver,
by the way. Super classy.

346
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,340
Not like those people with
fake woods in the background,

347
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,540
Honestly, who do they
think they're fooling?

348
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:33,540
You found us in the Penny Saver?

349
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,740
Hi. Mark Loring. I'm the husband.

350
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,240
- How you doing? Mac McGuff.
- Nice to meet you.

351
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:40,140
Hi.

352
00:28:40,340 --> 00:28:42,240
This is Gerta Rauss, our attorney.

353
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,540
Gerta Rauss.

354
00:28:45,540 --> 00:28:46,640
Hi, pleased to meet you.

355
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:49,940
And this, of course, is Juno.

356
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,440
Like the city in Alaska.

357
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:53,440
No.

358
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:54,840
No?

359
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:56,140
Hon?

360
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,040
Shall we sit down and
get to know one another?

361
00:28:58,340 --> 00:28:59,540
I thought I'd get some drinks.

362
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:03,940
What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino
or Vitamin Water or orange juice.

363
00:29:04,340 --> 00:29:06,440
A Maker's Mark, please. Up.

364
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:09,340
She's kidding.

365
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,440
Junebug has a wonderful sense of humor,
just one of her many genetic gifts.

366
00:29:13,740 --> 00:29:14,540
I see.

367
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,140
So, Juno. First off,
how far along are you?

368
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:22,340
I'm a junior.

369
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,440
No, I mean in your pregnancy.

370
00:29:27,740 --> 00:29:32,240
Oh. Uh, actually my stepmom took me yesterday
to the doctor and they said I was twelve weeks.

371
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:33,640
Oh, that's great, that's marvelous.

372
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,740
So you're into your second trimester?

373
00:29:37,140 --> 00:29:39,640
Yeah, apparently.

374
00:29:40,340 --> 00:29:41,740
I'm due on May 4.

375
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:42,740
Great.

376
00:29:42,940 --> 00:29:45,240
My girlfriends tell me that the first
couple months are the hardest.

377
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,040
I didn't notice it at all.

378
00:29:47,340 --> 00:29:53,640
Actually I'm more concerned about when they have to
put that like elastic band you know in the front of my jeans.

379
00:29:54,740 --> 00:29:56,140
I think pregnancy is beautiful.

380
00:29:56,940 --> 00:29:58,440
Well, you're lucky it's not you.

381
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,740
So, let's talk about how we're
gonna do this... thing.

382
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,240
Well, don't I just have the thing?

383
00:30:07,540 --> 00:30:09,440
Squeeze it on out and hand it over?

384
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,540
Mark and Vanessa are willing
to negotiate an open adoption.

385
00:30:13,940 --> 00:30:15,040
What does that mean?

386
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,040
It means they'd send
annual updates, photos,

387
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,540
let Juno know how the baby is
doing as he or she grows up.

388
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,940
Whoah. No, no, no, I don't want photos
or any kind of notification.

389
00:30:27,140 --> 00:30:29,340
You know I mean can't we just like kick this old school?

390
00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:32,340
You know like I stick the baby in a
basket and send it your way.

391
00:30:32,340 --> 00:30:33,840
Like Moses in the reeds.

392
00:30:34,940 --> 00:30:36,740
Technically, that would be
kickin' it Old Testament.

393
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,740
Exactly! Right?

394
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:40,840
Do you know what I mean?

395
00:30:41,140 --> 00:30:43,240
Like in the good old days.
When it was quick and dirty.

396
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:50,240
Well, then we all agree a traditional closed
adoption would be best for all involved?

397
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,540
Shit, yes, just close her on up.

398
00:30:54,340 --> 00:30:56,740
Obviously, we would compensate
you for all your medical expenses.

399
00:30:57,740 --> 00:30:59,940
Are you looking for any
other type of compensation?

400
00:31:02,140 --> 00:31:02,940
Excuse me?

401
00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:07,440
No.

402
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,140
No, I don't want to
sell the thing, I just...

403
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,140
...I want...

404
00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:18,140
...I just want the baby to be
with people who are gonna love it,

405
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:20,840
And be good parents, you know?

406
00:31:22,740 --> 00:31:24,340
I'm in high school.

407
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,940
I'm just ill-equipped.

408
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,240
You're doing a beautiful
and a selfless thing for us.

409
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:35,940
Vanessa has wanted a baby
ever since we got married.

410
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,440
I want to be a mommy so badly!

411
00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:39,840
You don't say.

412
00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:42,540
Have you ever felt like you
were just born to do something?

413
00:31:43,140 --> 00:31:44,140
Yes.

414
00:31:44,540 --> 00:31:45,540
Heating and air conditioning.

415
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:47,140
There you go.

416
00:31:48,140 --> 00:31:49,340
I was born to be a mother.

417
00:31:49,940 --> 00:31:50,840
Some of us are.

418
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,440
How about you, Mark, are you
looking forward to being a dad?

419
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:57,440
Betcha, yeah.

420
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,340
Every guy wants to be a father.
Wants to coach the soccer team and

421
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,340
help out with the science
fair and the volcano goes off.

422
00:32:07,540 --> 00:32:08,540
Yeah, all that.

423
00:32:09,940 --> 00:32:13,940
Maybe Gerta could take us through the
preliminary documents that you have drawn up.

424
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:20,540
Could I use the facilities first? Cause being
pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit.

425
00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:26,740
Sure the downstairs bathroom is being re-tiled,
but if you go upstairs, then to the right...

426
00:32:26,940 --> 00:32:28,440
Oh yeah! Room with the toilet.

427
00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:30,740
Is she alright?

428
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:19,340
Sorry.

429
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,240
Sorry, I didn't expect
to see you up here.

430
00:33:21,340 --> 00:33:22,340
I just came up to get something.

431
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,940
Did your wife send you
up here to spy on me?

432
00:33:25,540 --> 00:33:26,340
No.

433
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,540
Do we come off as paranoid
yuppies or something?

434
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,040
I stole a squirt of your wife's perfume.

435
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,240
Really?

436
00:33:35,940 --> 00:33:37,240
It's Clinique Happy.

437
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,440
Get a whiff of those sparkling topnotes!

438
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,440
Is that supposed to make me feel happy?

439
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,640
You should feel happy, Holmes.

440
00:33:45,140 --> 00:33:49,140
I'm giving you and Vanessa the gift of life.
Sweet, screaming, pooping life!

441
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,440
And you don't even have to be there
when it comes out all covered in...

442
00:33:51,940 --> 00:33:52,740
Viscera?

443
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:54,040
Blood and guts.

444
00:33:58,540 --> 00:33:59,640
Is that a Les Paul?

445
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:02,040
Yes, it is.

446
00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:04,240
Vanessa gave me my own
room for all my stuff.

447
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,840
She gave you your own room in
your whole house for your stuff?

448
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,840
She's got you on a
long leash there, Mark.

449
00:34:14,140 --> 00:34:15,040
Oh, it's beautiful.

450
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,340
You know? I always loved
Gibson way more than Fender.

451
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:20,640
What do you play?

452
00:34:21,140 --> 00:34:22,440
I rock a Harmony.

453
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:27,640
So is it mahagony?

454
00:34:27,940 --> 00:34:31,140
What happens if you crack the neck?

455
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,840
Tell me about it. I used
to play in this really tight

456
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,940
band when I lived in Chicago
and one night we opened up

457
00:34:34,940 --> 00:34:36,740
for the Melvins and I
busted that thing right on

458
00:34:36,740 --> 00:34:39,040
stage and it cost me
$800 just to get it fixed.

459
00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:42,040
So when was that?

460
00:34:42,340 --> 00:34:44,040
'93. Best time for rock and roll.

461
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:49,940
Nuh-uh, '77! Punk Volume #1.

462
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:51,340
You're crazy.

463
00:34:51,740 --> 00:34:52,740
You weren't there,

464
00:34:52,940 --> 00:34:54,340
You couldn't understand the magic.

465
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:55,840
You weren't even alive!

466
00:34:58,240 --> 00:34:58,940
What's that?

467
00:35:02,540 --> 00:35:03,540
It's a Pilates machine.

468
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,040
What do you make with it?

469
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,740
You don't make anything.
It's for exercising.

470
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,540
My wife ordered one of those

471
00:35:15,140 --> 00:35:16,940
Tony Little Gazelles off the TV.

472
00:35:17,540 --> 00:35:18,840
You know, from the
guy with the ponytail?

473
00:35:20,140 --> 00:35:21,540
That guy just doesn't look right to me.

474
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,840
I'll be right back.

475
00:35:34,540 --> 00:35:35,340
Excuse me.

476
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:45,240
Hi.

477
00:35:46,140 --> 00:35:46,640
Hi.

478
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,040
You're playing music?

479
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,040
Juno wanted a little
closer look at Kimber.

480
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:52,540
Your guitar is named Kimber?

481
00:35:53,140 --> 00:35:53,540
Yeah.

482
00:35:53,940 --> 00:35:55,940
That's cool. My axe is named Roosevelt.

483
00:35:55,940 --> 00:36:00,140
After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin
was the hot one with polio.

484
00:36:01,540 --> 00:36:03,740
Gerta is downstairs, we still have

485
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:05,640
a lot of stuff to go over and do.

486
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,140
I got it.

487
00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:10,740
Not to interrupt the jam session.

488
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,440
So, just look these over and if you
have any questions, call me at my office.

489
00:36:18,740 --> 00:36:23,540
We would really appreciate it if you would just
keep us updated on any doctor's appointments,

490
00:36:23,540 --> 00:36:25,540
Ultrasounds, anything of that nature.

491
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,740
If it is not too much. For sure yeah you want to know how
your kid is cooking, I get it.

492
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:32,540
You think you're really
going to do this, then?

493
00:36:34,140 --> 00:36:36,740
Yeah I know. I like you guys.

494
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,540
How sure would you say you are?

495
00:36:43,340 --> 00:36:45,840
Would you say you're 80% sure, 90% sure?

496
00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:50,140
I'm going to say I'm about 104% sure.

497
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:51,740
Really?

498
00:36:52,940 --> 00:36:57,240
Seriously, if I could just have the thing
and give it to you now, I totally would,

499
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,740
But I'm guessing it looks probably
like a Sea Monkey right now,

500
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:04,440
And we should let it get
a little cuter, right?

501
00:37:04,940 --> 00:37:05,840
- Yeah.
- Great.

502
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:07,240
Keep it in the oven.

503
00:37:07,540 --> 00:37:08,440
I think that's a great idea.

504
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:09,640
Nice to meet you both.

505
00:37:09,940 --> 00:37:12,640
Please, drive carefully.
Hopefully we'll hear from you soon.

506
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,940
- Take care.
- Buh bye.

507
00:37:51,740 --> 00:37:52,340
Hey, man.

508
00:37:52,740 --> 00:37:54,140
Hey, Vijay.

509
00:37:54,340 --> 00:37:55,840
Did you hear Juno MacGuff is pregnant?

510
00:37:56,540 --> 00:37:57,340
Yeah.

511
00:37:57,940 --> 00:37:59,940
- Like our moms and teachers!
- Yeah.

512
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,240
Did you hear it's yours?

513
00:38:03,340 --> 00:38:04,140
Yup.

514
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:06,140
What a trip, man.

515
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,240
I don't really know too much about it.

516
00:38:09,140 --> 00:38:10,340
You should grow a moustache.

517
00:38:11,340 --> 00:38:12,140
I can't.

518
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:13,340
Me neither.

519
00:38:13,540 --> 00:38:15,040
But I'm going to stop
wearing underpants.

520
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,540
Raise my sperm count.

521
00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:44,940
Juno, hey.

522
00:38:45,140 --> 00:38:45,840
Hey, Bleek.

523
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:49,140
Me and some guys are gonna go to the movies
after school and we're gonna donut that flick

524
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:51,440
with the guy who has 18 kids.

525
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:52,940
Do you want to come?

526
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,240
Sounds awesome, but I got my ultrasound.

527
00:38:57,140 --> 00:38:58,140
Oh, really?

528
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:00,440
Can I...

529
00:39:02,140 --> 00:39:03,140
...Should I come?

530
00:39:05,940 --> 00:39:09,040
Oh, you can't waste those donut balls there,

531
00:39:09,940 --> 00:39:11,740
But maybe I could you know drop by later.

532
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:13,240
Okay, cool.

533
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,140
- Later, Bleek.
- See ya.

534
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:18,640
I'll save you a seat.

535
00:39:30,540 --> 00:39:31,540
There's your baby.

536
00:39:33,340 --> 00:39:34,840
Oh, my God.

537
00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:37,340
There's a hand.

538
00:39:39,740 --> 00:39:40,640
And an arm.

539
00:39:44,140 --> 00:39:45,440
And there's the feet.

540
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:49,940
Would you look at that?

541
00:39:51,940 --> 00:39:55,640
Check out Baby Big-Head. Dude,
that thing is freaky looking!

542
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,540
Excuse me, I am a sacred vessel.

543
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,740
All you've got in your
stomach is Taco Bell!

544
00:40:02,340 --> 00:40:04,840
It's amazing that there's
actually saps that cry at this.

545
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,740
What? I'm not made of stone.

546
00:40:09,340 --> 00:40:10,440
Well, there you have it.

547
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:12,540
Would you like to know the sex?

548
00:40:12,940 --> 00:40:13,740
- Yes.
- No.

549
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,140
- Please, Junebug?
- Definitely, There's no sex.

550
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,340
Planning to be surprised
when you deliver?

551
00:40:18,740 --> 00:40:23,040
I want Mark and Vanessa to be surprised, and
if you told me, I'll just like ruin everything.

552
00:40:23,540 --> 00:40:25,340
Are Mark and Vanessa
your friends at school?

553
00:40:25,740 --> 00:40:27,140
No, they're the adoptive parents.

554
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:29,540
Oh. Well, thank goodness for that.

555
00:40:31,140 --> 00:40:32,040
What's that supposed to mean?

556
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:36,040
I just see a lot of teenage
mothers come through here.

557
00:40:36,540 --> 00:40:38,940
It's obviously a poisonous
environment to raise a baby in.

558
00:40:39,340 --> 00:40:40,940
How do you know that I'm so poisonous?

559
00:40:41,340 --> 00:40:45,540
You know what if these adoptive parents
turn out to be like evil molesters?

560
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:46,840
Or like stage parents.

561
00:40:46,940 --> 00:40:49,340
They could be utterly negligent.
Maybe they'll do a far shittier job

562
00:40:49,740 --> 00:40:51,640
of raising a kid than my
dumbass stepdaughter ever would.

563
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:52,840
Have you considered that?

564
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,240
No, I guess not.

565
00:40:56,340 --> 00:40:57,540
What is your job title, exactly?

566
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,140
I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.

567
00:41:01,140 --> 00:41:05,440
Well I'm a nail technician, and I think
we both ought to stick to what we know.

568
00:41:05,940 --> 00:41:06,740
Excuse me?

569
00:41:07,540 --> 00:41:10,340
You think you're so special because
you get to play Picture Pages up there?

570
00:41:10,340 --> 00:41:14,540
My five year-old daughter could do that, and let me tell
you, she is not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.

571
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,540
So why don't you go back to night
school in Manteno and learn a real trade!

572
00:41:23,540 --> 00:41:24,940
Bren, you're a dick!

573
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:27,440
I love it.

574
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,940
Juno? Wow, I didn't
expect to see you here.

575
00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:36,340
I have something really cool to
show you guys. Is Vanessa here?

576
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,540
No, actually she's working late tonight.

577
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:42,440
She's trying to accrue as much
time off as she can before...

578
00:42:43,140 --> 00:42:45,540
Oh right. I hear these
are quite the time-suck.

579
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,040
Wanna come in? I was just
having a Ginseng Cooler.

580
00:42:48,540 --> 00:42:49,640
Would you like one?

581
00:42:49,940 --> 00:42:53,340
What is it with you rich people
and your herb-infused juices?

582
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,440
It's probably got something to do with
those forty four-packs they come in.

583
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:58,840
They're not bad, though.

584
00:42:59,240 --> 00:43:01,040
Why aren't you at work?

585
00:43:01,940 --> 00:43:03,640
I work mostly from home. I'm a composer.

586
00:43:05,340 --> 00:43:06,240
No shit.

587
00:43:06,940 --> 00:43:08,240
Like Johannes Brahms?

588
00:43:08,540 --> 00:43:10,640
No, more commercial stuff.

589
00:43:11,140 --> 00:43:11,940
Like what?

590
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:13,440
Commercials.

591
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,040
Have you seen the ads for the
Titanium Power men's deodorant?

592
00:43:28,540 --> 00:43:29,540
Paid for this kitchen.

593
00:43:32,340 --> 00:43:34,440
You're quite the sellout, Mark.

594
00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:36,740
I mean what would the Melvins say?

595
00:43:38,340 --> 00:43:39,640
Did you say you had
something to show me.

596
00:43:40,540 --> 00:43:43,140
Behold, good sir! Your future child.

597
00:43:45,140 --> 00:43:46,040
Hey, look at that.

598
00:43:49,940 --> 00:43:51,640
I think it looks like my friend Paulie.

599
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,040
Is he also bald and amorphous?

600
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,440
No, he's the dad.

601
00:43:59,940 --> 00:44:01,440
Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?

602
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,240
I can't, the doctor can. But I
kind of want it to be a surprise.

603
00:44:07,340 --> 00:44:09,440
Well, it can only go one of two ways.

604
00:44:10,140 --> 00:44:11,140
That's what you think.

605
00:44:11,140 --> 00:44:16,140
I drink tons of booze so you might end up with one
of those scary neuter-babies that's born without junk.

606
00:44:16,940 --> 00:44:17,740
Junk, huh?

607
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:19,840
You know, it's parts.

608
00:44:20,140 --> 00:44:21,140
I know what junk is.

609
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:22,140
Yeah, right.

610
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:23,440
We definitely want it to
have some junk, please.

611
00:44:24,340 --> 00:44:25,540
Well, you don't need
to worry about a thing.

612
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:29,540
My stepmom, Bren, makes
me eat super healthy.

613
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:33,840
You know I can't stand in front of
the microwave and no red M&Ms.

614
00:44:34,540 --> 00:44:35,640
I hope you're ready.

615
00:44:37,340 --> 00:44:38,740
Ooh... do you hear that?

616
00:44:39,940 --> 00:44:40,640
What?

617
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:45,040
This is my favorite song. It's Sonic
Youth doing "Superstar" by the Carpenters.

618
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,540
Oh, yeah, yeah, I know the Carpenters.

619
00:44:47,940 --> 00:44:50,840
Chick drummer, freaky dude.
Not unlike the White Stripes.

620
00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:53,540
You haven't heard the Carpenters
like this. Just listen.

621
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,140
Yeah, I like this.

622
00:45:06,340 --> 00:45:07,540
What did you say your favorite band was?

623
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:13,140
Didn't. It's a three-way tie between the
Stooges, Patti Smith and the Runaways.

624
00:45:13,340 --> 00:45:15,940
I definitely need to make you some
CDs. At least while my kid's in there.

625
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,640
The Wizard of Gore?

626
00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:26,540
That is Herschel Gordon Lewis.
He's the ultimate master of horror.

627
00:45:26,540 --> 00:45:30,940
Please. Dario Argento is so
the ultimate master of horror.

628
00:45:32,240 --> 00:45:33,240
Argento?

629
00:45:33,740 --> 00:45:37,140
He's alright, but Lewis
is completely dimented.

630
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,240
We're talking buckets of goo.

631
00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:43,840
I mean that red corn syrup all over the place.
Fake brains coming out the yin-yang.

632
00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:47,240
Quite frankly, this
looks a little stupid.

633
00:45:49,140 --> 00:45:49,840
Give me the tape.

634
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:06,940
This is even better than Suspiria.

635
00:46:07,540 --> 00:46:08,240
What'd I tell ya?

636
00:46:08,540 --> 00:46:12,140
Cool those
You have decent taste in slasher movies.

637
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,640
Here's to dovetailing interests.

638
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:20,140
Have you guys thought of
any names for the baby yet?

639
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:25,240
Sort of, yes. Vanessa
likes Madison for a girl.

640
00:46:28,540 --> 00:46:30,240
Madison?

641
00:46:32,140 --> 00:46:35,940
Isn't that a little, gay?

642
00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:41,440
Well, pretentious much? Should everyone
just have a mysterious name like Juno?

643
00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:48,240
My dad went through this huge obsession
with Roman and Greek mythology.

644
00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:51,740
So he decided to name me after Zeus's wife,

645
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:56,540
Zeus had tons of lays, but I'm
pretty sure Juno was his only wife.

646
00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:02,040
She was supposed to be like really beautiful
but really mean. Like Diana Ross.

647
00:47:03,540 --> 00:47:04,540
That suits you.

648
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:07,440
Thanks?

649
00:47:10,940 --> 00:47:12,140
You're something else.

650
00:47:17,940 --> 00:47:19,440
Here's Vanessa. You'd better go. Why?

651
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,840
She hates when I sit around watching
movies and I don't contribute.

652
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,940
I'll handle this. I'm really
good at diffusing mom-type rage.

653
00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:29,940
No, Juno, no.

654
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,440
Juno, what's going on?

655
00:47:34,540 --> 00:47:35,840
- Nothing.
- What are you doing here? What's wrong?

656
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:37,240
Nothing, I went to the doctor today.

657
00:47:37,540 --> 00:47:38,440
Is there something wrong with the baby?

658
00:47:38,740 --> 00:47:39,340
The baby is great.

659
00:47:39,340 --> 00:47:42,240
It's the right size and everything.
I even saw its phalanges today!

660
00:47:42,340 --> 00:47:43,540
Here.

661
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:46,340
It's the baby.

662
00:47:46,940 --> 00:47:48,040
It's your baby.

663
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,240
It kinda looks like it's waving.

664
00:47:55,540 --> 00:47:59,140
Like it's saying "Hey,
Vanessa. Will you be my mom?"

665
00:47:59,540 --> 00:48:00,840
Yeah, it kind of does.

666
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,040
Juno was nice enough to
bring that over for us today.

667
00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:08,340
I came as soon as I got that
ultrasound goo off my pelvis.

668
00:48:09,540 --> 00:48:10,140
It was crazy actually,

669
00:48:10,140 --> 00:48:15,040
My stepmom verbally abused the ultrasound
tech so we got escorted off the premises.

670
00:48:19,940 --> 00:48:21,540
Wow, what kind of swag did you score?

671
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:23,540
Mall madness, huh?

672
00:48:23,740 --> 00:48:26,040
It's just some stuff I
picked up for the baby.

673
00:48:26,340 --> 00:48:29,040
Don't you usually get all
that stuff like at a baby shower?

674
00:48:29,140 --> 00:48:33,040
Just when my stepmom was pregnant with my
little sister she got a million gifts.

675
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,840
You know but I wasn't jealous 'cause
they all were super lame.

676
00:48:36,240 --> 00:48:38,040
I doubt anyone's gonna
throw us a shower.

677
00:48:38,340 --> 00:48:39,740
Why wouldn't they
throw you a baby shower?

678
00:48:40,140 --> 00:48:46,540
I don't think people know how to feel about
this situation because it's not set in stone.

679
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:47,840
What isn't set...

680
00:48:50,540 --> 00:48:52,740
No, no, no, You don't think I'm
going to flake out on you?

681
00:48:53,340 --> 00:48:55,040
No, I don't, Juno.

682
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,240
We went through a situation before

683
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:58,940
where it didn't work out.

684
00:48:59,140 --> 00:49:00,240
Cold feet.

685
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,840
You should have gone to China.

686
00:49:08,340 --> 00:49:11,440
You know cause I hear they give away
babies like free iPods.

687
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,040
You know they pretty much put 'em in those T-shirt guns

688
00:49:15,140 --> 00:49:16,640
and shoot them out at sporting events.

689
00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:21,640
Your parents are probably
wondering where you are.

690
00:49:21,940 --> 00:49:23,640
Naah. I mean I'm already pregnant,

691
00:49:24,140 --> 00:49:26,540
so what other kind of
shenanigans could I get into?

692
00:49:27,740 --> 00:49:29,140
I should probably bounce.

693
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:30,640
Hey, don't forget your bag.

694
00:49:31,240 --> 00:49:32,140
Ah, bag!

695
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:38,640
Okay, take care.

696
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:02,940
Where the hell have you been, Junebug?

697
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,640
I just drove to St. Cloud to show
Mark and Vanessa the ultrasound.

698
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,940
I ended up staying
for a couple of hours.

699
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,940
A couple of hours? Why are you
going over there in the first place?

700
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:16,840
They just you know they wanted to know about this stuff.
I said I'd keep them updated, so I did!

701
00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:19,040
You could have mailed it to them.

702
00:50:19,140 --> 00:50:22,040
Why would you drive an hour
out to East Jesus, Nowhere?

703
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:25,640
I don't know, I just did.

704
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,340
And while Mark and I
were waiting for Vanessa,

705
00:50:28,340 --> 00:50:29,540
we watched The Wizard of Gore,

706
00:50:31,140 --> 00:50:33,840
And he burned me a couple
of CDs of this weird music.

707
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,340
Cool. He's kind of cool.

708
00:50:38,340 --> 00:50:42,140
Juno, you can't just
drop in on them like that.

709
00:50:42,740 --> 00:50:46,440
No, it was not a big deal.
He was totally cool with it.

710
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:47,740
You don't understand.

711
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:50,440
Mark is a married man,
there are boundaries.

712
00:50:51,140 --> 00:50:52,140
Oh, come on.

713
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:53,340
Listen,

714
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:54,640
Bren-duhhh.

715
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:58,740
You're acting like you're the
one who has to go through this

716
00:50:58,740 --> 00:51:03,540
Look like your the one who has get huge and shove a baby
out of your vag for someone else.

717
00:51:03,740 --> 00:51:05,240
What does it even
matter if he's married?

718
00:51:05,240 --> 00:51:07,040
I can have friends that are married.

719
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:08,340
It doesn't work that way, kiddo.

720
00:51:08,340 --> 00:51:10,640
You don't know squat about
the dynamics of marriage.

721
00:51:10,940 --> 00:51:12,040
You don't know anything about me!

722
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:13,240
I know enough.

723
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:17,140
We don't even have a dog!

724
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:21,140
Yeah, we don't have a dog because you're
allergic to their saliva.

725
00:51:21,540 --> 00:51:25,640
I have sacrificed a lot for you, Juno.
But in a couple years when you move out

726
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,440
I'm going to get Weimaraners.

727
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:28,740
Wow, dream big!

728
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:30,440
Oh, go fly a kite.

729
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:56,040
Hi, Juno.

730
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:57,840
What can I do for you?

731
00:51:59,740 --> 00:52:00,740
Bleeker home?

732
00:52:01,340 --> 00:52:03,740
Bleeker's mom was
possibly attractive once.

733
00:52:03,940 --> 00:52:05,440
But now she looks like a hobbit.

734
00:52:07,740 --> 00:52:09,440
You know, the fat one
that was in The Goonies.

735
00:52:17,240 --> 00:52:18,040
Hey, man,

736
00:52:18,740 --> 00:52:21,640
Don't concentrate so hard.
I think I can smell your hair all burning.

737
00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:22,840
Hey, what's up?

738
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:26,140
Not much, I just wanted to come say hey.

739
00:52:26,140 --> 00:52:29,840
I miss hanging out with
you on school nights.

740
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,440
Orange Tic-Tacs are
Bleeker's one and only vice.

741
00:52:35,540 --> 00:52:38,840
The day I got pregnant, his mouth
tasted really tangy and delicious.

742
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:50,240
You seem to be getting...

743
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,040
...pregnant-er these days.

744
00:52:55,340 --> 00:52:57,740
Ya know, I set up this
whole private adoption...

745
00:52:58,340 --> 00:53:03,040
...and this married couple in Saint
Cloud are going to be the parents.

746
00:53:03,740 --> 00:53:04,240
Yeah?

747
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,640
What are they like?

748
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,640
Well I mean the guy, he's awesome.

749
00:53:10,540 --> 00:53:12,040
His name is Mark and

750
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,240
he likes old horror movies
and he plays the guitar.

751
00:53:15,740 --> 00:53:17,340
We actually hung out this afternoon.

752
00:53:17,940 --> 00:53:18,940
Is that normal?

753
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:21,040
Probably not, but...

754
00:53:21,940 --> 00:53:27,040
Listen I talked to dad and Bren and they said
they wouldn't narc you out to your folks,

755
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:27,940
So,

756
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,140
I think we should be cool you know.

757
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:32,040
That's a relief.

758
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,840
I'm gonna start looking

759
00:53:40,340 --> 00:53:41,540
like a pretty big dork soon.

760
00:53:43,240 --> 00:53:45,740
Will you still think
I'm cute when I'm huge?

761
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:48,540
I always think you're cute.

762
00:53:49,540 --> 00:53:50,540
I think you're beautiful.

763
00:53:51,340 --> 00:53:52,140
Jeez, Bleek.

764
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:54,440
I do.

765
00:53:57,940 --> 00:54:01,440
Hey Junebug, you know when this is all over
we should get the band back together.

766
00:54:01,940 --> 00:54:03,440
Yeah.

767
00:54:04,540 --> 00:54:05,540
That would be awesome.

768
00:54:05,940 --> 00:54:07,740
I mean once Tino gets a new drumhead

769
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:09,940
we're just, like, ready to rock.

770
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,640
I mean we could always get back together too.

771
00:54:14,540 --> 00:54:15,540
That's an option.

772
00:54:20,140 --> 00:54:21,740
Were we together?

773
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:24,240
Yeah, we were once.

774
00:54:25,740 --> 00:54:26,840
That time.

775
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:35,040
What about Katrina De Voort?

776
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,340
You could totally go out
with Katrina De Voort.

777
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,540
I don't like Katrina.

778
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:41,240
She smells like soup.

779
00:54:41,740 --> 00:54:42,940
Her whole house smells like soup.

780
00:54:52,540 --> 00:54:53,340
Okay.

781
00:54:55,140 --> 00:54:58,140
So we have Custard and Cheesecake.

782
00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:00,240
They're yellow.

783
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,340
I wanted to pick something
that was gender-neutral until

784
00:55:04,340 --> 00:55:08,340
Until we get the baby and then we
can just add a more decisive palette.

785
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,640
Why does everyone think
yellow is gender-neutral?

786
00:55:11,940 --> 00:55:13,040
I don't know any guy
with a yellow bedroom.

787
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,640
I'm thinking more
Custard with this light.

788
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,440
I don't know. Maybe I should
paint a larger swatch...

789
00:55:26,740 --> 00:55:28,240
Or you could wait a few more months.

790
00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:32,840
It's not like the baby's going to storm
in here demanding dessert-colored walls.

791
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:44,240
"What to Expect" says that readying the baby's
room is an important process for the woman.

792
00:55:44,240 --> 00:55:46,840
Especially if you're adopting.
It's called "nesting. "

793
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:48,640
Nesting?

794
00:55:50,540 --> 00:55:53,140
Are you going to build the
crib out of sticks and spit?

795
00:55:55,840 --> 00:56:00,140
You should read the book. I flagged
the "daddy chapters" for you.

796
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:01,840
I think it's too early to paint.

797
00:56:02,240 --> 00:56:03,340
That's my opinion.

798
00:56:04,740 --> 00:56:05,740
I disagree.

799
00:56:09,940 --> 00:56:11,340
This wall is going to need something.

800
00:56:15,140 --> 00:56:16,840
Our first family photo
right in the middle.

801
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:19,040
Right up there.

802
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:23,640
Can you see it?

803
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,540
Yum! This pretzel tastes
like a friggin' donut!

804
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:31,640
Share the love, sweetness!

805
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:32,840
You can't have any.

806
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:35,840
She's assaulting me!

807
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:38,040
She's denying me fresh-baked goodness!

808
00:56:39,140 --> 00:56:40,040
Oh, my God.

809
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:43,240
That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.

810
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,040
Of the Penny Saver Lorings?

811
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:51,840
Dude, she's, like, really pretty.

812
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:53,940
You sound like totally shocked or something.

813
00:56:55,540 --> 00:56:58,240
She's totally gonna steal
that little kid for her collection.

814
00:56:58,440 --> 00:56:59,540
Right, seriously.

815
00:57:09,240 --> 00:57:10,340
Boring!

816
00:57:20,540 --> 00:57:26,040
I could so go for a huge cookie right now with like,
a lamb kebab, simultaneously.

817
00:57:26,140 --> 00:57:28,740
God, Spermy. Must you always feed?

818
00:57:29,340 --> 00:57:32,240
It's like, never-ending for you.

819
00:57:33,540 --> 00:57:34,440
Juno!

820
00:57:34,740 --> 00:57:36,140
Hi, Vanessa!

821
00:57:36,940 --> 00:57:38,440
What brings you to the mall today?

822
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:41,040
I was just shopping you know with my girlfriends.

823
00:57:41,340 --> 00:57:42,540
You're gay?

824
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:43,540
No.

825
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,140
Just ignore her.

826
00:57:45,540 --> 00:57:46,840
Well, how are you feeling?

827
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,940
Great! Everything's stupendous.

828
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:52,140
Oh, coming in on that snooze button.

829
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:55,540
That's incredible.

830
00:57:56,740 --> 00:57:57,740
Oh, God.

831
00:57:59,040 --> 00:57:59,840
What?

832
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:01,440
Kicking away.

833
00:58:04,540 --> 00:58:06,540
Could I feel it?

834
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:08,740
Are you kidding?

835
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:14,740
God at school everyone's just
grabbing my belly all the time it's crazy.

836
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,040
I'm a legend.
You know they call me the Cautionary Whale.

837
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:22,740
I can't feel anything.

838
00:58:26,140 --> 00:58:27,140
It's not moving for me.

839
00:58:29,740 --> 00:58:31,040
You should try talking to it.

840
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:35,340
Cause supposibly they can hear you, even though it's
all ten thousand leagues under the sea.

841
00:58:50,340 --> 00:58:51,340
Hi, baby.

842
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,740
It's me. It's Vanessa.

843
00:59:03,740 --> 00:59:05,640
I can't wait to meet you.

844
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:14,940
Can you hear me, baby?

845
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:17,640
Sweet angel?

846
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,140
I felt it!

847
00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:33,640
That was magical.

848
00:59:39,140 --> 00:59:40,140
Thank you.

849
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:41,640
Thank you.

850
01:00:34,140 --> 01:00:34,840
Hello?

851
01:00:35,340 --> 01:00:36,140
Hey!

852
01:00:36,340 --> 01:00:40,540
So, I've been listening to that
really weird CD that you made me.

853
01:00:40,540 --> 01:00:41,540
Yeah? What's the verdict?

854
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:43,240
Well, it's cute.

855
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:44,940
It's cute?

856
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:48,040
When you're used to listening to the
raw power of Iggy and the Stooges,

857
01:00:48,540 --> 01:00:51,840
everything else just sounds
kind of like precious in comparison.

858
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,640
I imagine you have a collection of
punk chestnuts to prove your point.

859
01:00:55,940 --> 01:00:56,740
Well...

860
01:00:57,340 --> 01:00:59,340
...consider it your musical education.

861
01:00:59,940 --> 01:01:01,740
I can't wait to see what
you've got to teach me.

862
01:01:02,140 --> 01:01:04,340
Stop surfing porn and get back to work.

863
01:01:05,340 --> 01:01:07,340
Just wanted to call and say hi.

864
01:01:07,940 --> 01:01:09,740
Go learn something.

865
01:01:11,340 --> 01:01:15,840
- Oh, a little trip down Mexico way.
- And Greece and China apparently.

866
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,040
How many months has it been now?

867
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,040
You're getting huge.

868
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:23,240
It's homing in on the eight. You
should see how weird I look naked.

869
01:01:23,740 --> 01:01:25,740
I wish my funbags would get bigger.

870
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:29,040
Trust me, you don't. I have to
actually wear a friggin' bra now

871
01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:34,940
and rub all this nasty cocoa butter
stuff on myself so my skin won't explode.

872
01:01:35,140 --> 01:01:35,940
Hot!

873
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:41,040
Why is everyone always staring at me?

874
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,240
Well, you are kind of convex, you know?

875
01:01:44,740 --> 01:01:48,040
Whoah! Who's been doing their
geometry homework for once!

876
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:51,240
I have no choice. Keith has
been grading me like so hard lately.

877
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:54,140
Do not call Mr. Conyers "Keith". Why?

878
01:01:54,140 --> 01:01:57,040
'Cause my barf reflex is
really enheightened these days.

879
01:01:57,140 --> 01:01:58,140
But Keith's hot.

880
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:02,940
Eww, he's all beardy!

881
01:02:04,540 --> 01:02:07,640
Did you hear that Bleek is going
to the prom with Katrina De Voort?

882
01:02:09,540 --> 01:02:10,740
Katrina?

883
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,340
No way, he doesn't like Katrina.

884
01:02:13,340 --> 01:02:14,740
Must be like a pity date or something.

885
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:17,440
I heard he asked her and
that they're going to Benihana,

886
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:19,940
and then prom, and then
Vijay's parents' cabin.

887
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:23,040
He told me that Katrina's
house smells like soup!

888
01:02:23,340 --> 01:02:24,840
Oh my God, it totally does.

889
01:02:25,140 --> 01:02:28,940
I was there like 4 years ago for her birthday
party and it was like Lipton Landing.

890
01:02:29,740 --> 01:02:32,340
But you know, boys have endured
way worse things for nookie.

891
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:34,640
Oh, please.

892
01:02:34,940 --> 01:02:36,940
There is no way that they're having sex,

893
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:38,640
I mean they wouldn't even be holding hands.

894
01:02:38,940 --> 01:02:40,840
I wouldn't be so sure,
he did it with you.

895
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:42,740
Yeah, 'cause Bleek trusts me.

896
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:44,440
We're best friends.

897
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:46,040
Are you jealous?

898
01:02:46,540 --> 01:02:49,540
I thought you said you
didn't care what he did.

899
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:50,840
Not jealous, don't care.

900
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:53,140
It's just I know Bleek doesn't like
Katrina and he shouldn't

901
01:02:53,140 --> 01:02:55,740
toy with her emotions like
that. She seems pretty nice.

902
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,040
Uh-huh, I'm really convinced.

903
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,040
You know prom is for wenises, anyway.

904
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:02,840
As soon as you're old enough
to go, it's so not cool anymore.

905
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,540
Are you honestly and truly going
to the prom with Katrina De Voort?

906
01:03:16,740 --> 01:03:17,640
Uh, hi?

907
01:03:17,940 --> 01:03:20,340
Leah just said that you
were gonna go with her.

908
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:22,740
Yeah, I did ask her if she wanted to go.

909
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,740
A bunch of us from the
team are going to Benihana,

910
01:03:25,740 --> 01:03:28,240
then go the prom, then go
to Vijay's parents' cabin.

911
01:03:31,540 --> 01:03:33,440
We're getting a stretch limo.

912
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,740
Your mom must be pretty stoked
that you're not taking me.

913
01:03:38,540 --> 01:03:39,940
You're mad. Why are you mad?

914
01:03:40,940 --> 01:03:43,040
I'm not mad. I'm in a great mood.

915
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:46,840
I mean despite the fact that I'm in
a fat suit I can't take off,

916
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:48,340
despite the fact that pretty
much everyone is making

917
01:03:48,340 --> 01:03:52,240
fun of me behind my back,
despite the fact that

918
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:54,440
your little girlfriend gave me the
stinkeye in art class yesterday.

919
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:57,440
Katrina's not my girlfriend alright! And I
doubt that she gave you the stinkeye.

920
01:03:57,940 --> 01:04:00,940
That's just the way her face looks.
It's just her face.

921
01:04:03,540 --> 01:04:09,040
Yeah you just take Soupy Sales to prom, I can think
of so many cooler things to do that night.

922
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:14,240
Like you know I might pumice my feet or go
to Bren's Unitarian church,

923
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:18,540
maybe get hit by a truck
full of hot garbage juice.

924
01:04:16,540 --> 01:04:20,640
All those things would be exponentially
cooler than going to the prom with you.

925
01:04:23,540 --> 01:04:25,240
You're being really immature.

926
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:30,140
You have no reason to be mad
at me. I mean you broke my heart.

927
01:04:30,140 --> 01:04:32,840
I should be royally ticked off at you.

928
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:36,840
I should be really cheesed off. I
shouldn't want to talk to you anymore.

929
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:42,040
Why? Because I got bored and had sex with
you, and then I didn't wanna, like, marry you?

930
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:45,340
Like I'd marry you! You'd
be the meanest wife ever okay.

931
01:04:45,540 --> 01:04:46,840
And I know that you
weren't bored that day

932
01:04:47,040 --> 01:04:48,740
because there was a lot of stuff on TV.

933
01:04:48,740 --> 01:04:52,840
The Blair Witch Project was
coming on Starz, and you were like,

934
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:58,540
"I haven't seen this since it came out, but we should
  watch it, no we should just make out instead. La la la. "

935
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:04,740
You just take Katrina the
Douche Packer to the prom.

936
01:05:04,740 --> 01:05:07,540
I'm sure you two will
have a real bitchin' time!

937
01:05:07,740 --> 01:05:08,840
I still have your underwear.

938
01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:11,140
I still have your virginity!

939
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:12,740
Would you shut up!

940
01:05:12,940 --> 01:05:14,740
What? Are you ashamed that we did it?

941
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:16,340
- No.
- 'Cause at least

942
01:05:16,540 --> 01:05:19,240
you don't have to have the
evidence under your sweater.

943
01:05:21,140 --> 01:05:22,140
I'm a planet!

944
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:28,440
Wait, let me get your bag.

945
01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:30,740
What's another 10 pounds?

946
01:06:17,340 --> 01:06:18,240
Hi.

947
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:20,340
Wow. That shirt's working hard.

948
01:06:20,340 --> 01:06:21,240
Is Vanessa here?

949
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:23,340
No. We are safe.

950
01:06:25,540 --> 01:06:28,040
I'm glad you're here, I
actually have something for you.

951
01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:33,040
Almost there.

952
01:06:37,140 --> 01:06:39,840
Whoah, Mark! Is this the
baby's room? It's beautiful!

953
01:06:40,740 --> 01:06:41,540
Hilarious.

954
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:44,340
This is where I keep all my old comics,

955
01:06:44,740 --> 01:06:46,040
And I want to show you one.

956
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:47,940
You're one of those guys?

957
01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:49,240
Take a look.

958
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:54,440
Most Fruitful Yuki?

959
01:06:55,940 --> 01:06:57,340
Is this a pregnant superhero?

960
01:06:57,940 --> 01:06:58,840
Isn't that great?

961
01:06:59,140 --> 01:07:00,440
I found it in Japan when
I was there with my band.

962
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:01,640
It reminds me of you.

963
01:07:01,940 --> 01:07:03,040
Hells, yeah!

964
01:07:04,040 --> 01:07:07,740
This actually makes me
feel way less of a fat dork.

965
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,240
Yuki is a real bad ass.

966
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:13,540
You should be very proud
being in the same condition.

967
01:07:14,140 --> 01:07:14,840
Thank you.

968
01:07:16,140 --> 01:07:17,640
Oh, how about some tunage?

969
01:07:18,740 --> 01:07:20,840
Alright, don't look, no matter what.

970
01:07:23,340 --> 01:07:25,440
This one is actually kinda slow.

971
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:30,240
But it's Mott the Hoople so it's
still totally rad and hardcore.

972
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:36,340
I know this one.

973
01:07:36,740 --> 01:07:39,940
- You do?
- Yeah, this song is older than I am if you ever believe it.

974
01:07:39,940 --> 01:07:41,740
I danced to this at my senior prom.

975
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:44,540
Who'd you dance with?

976
01:07:45,340 --> 01:07:46,940
Cynthia Vogel, great dance partner.

977
01:07:48,740 --> 01:07:49,340
She let me put my
hands all over her butt.

978
01:07:49,340 --> 01:07:50,940
- Hot.
- Very hot.

979
01:07:52,140 --> 01:07:54,340
I can just, totally,
picture you dancing,

980
01:07:54,940 --> 01:07:56,540
Like a total dork!

981
01:07:59,740 --> 01:08:03,540
Her hands there,

982
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:05,140
And my hands down here.

983
01:08:05,940 --> 01:08:07,440
This is how we did it in '88.

984
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:08,840
Especially like this?

985
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:10,140
Just like this.

986
01:08:10,340 --> 01:08:11,740
You've never been to a dance before?

987
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:13,840
Dances are for nerds and squares.

988
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:15,640
What are you?

989
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:17,640
I don't know.

990
01:08:20,040 --> 01:08:21,340
I feel like there's
something between us.

991
01:08:39,340 --> 01:08:40,340
I'm leaving Vanessa.

992
01:08:43,940 --> 01:08:44,640
What?

993
01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:46,740
I'm getting a place in the city.

994
01:08:46,740 --> 01:08:49,340
It all plan, It's something I've wanted
to do for a long time.

995
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:50,340
No!

996
01:08:51,140 --> 01:08:51,740
No?

997
01:08:52,140 --> 01:08:53,740
No! You definitely can't do that.

998
01:08:53,940 --> 01:08:55,640
That's one big, fat sack of no!

999
01:08:57,540 --> 01:08:58,940
What is the matter?

1000
01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:03,640
I mean you guys are supposed
to take care of this you know.

1001
01:09:04,440 --> 01:09:07,040
I thought you'd be cool with this.

1002
01:09:07,340 --> 01:09:10,040
I want things to be perfect.

1003
01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:14,240
I don't want them to be shitty and
broken like everyone else's family.

1004
01:09:15,340 --> 01:09:19,440
Look, I'll have the baby, and
Vanessa is going to be so happy.

1005
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:21,440
A baby is not going to fix everything.

1006
01:09:21,740 --> 01:09:24,740
Besides, I don't know if I'm
even ready to be a father.

1007
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:25,840
But you're old!

1008
01:09:30,440 --> 01:09:31,440
How do you think of me?

1009
01:09:32,540 --> 01:09:34,240
Why are you over here?

1010
01:09:37,540 --> 01:09:38,640
I...

1011
01:09:39,540 --> 01:09:43,240
I just like being a piece of
furniture in your weird life.

1012
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:47,840
This is what my life has
become. I got stuff in boxes.

1013
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,740
I'm underground.
That's appealing to you?

1014
01:09:51,140 --> 01:09:52,340
- This is my fault.
- No.

1015
01:09:52,540 --> 01:09:54,740
Is Vanessa mad at you because of me or something?

1016
01:09:54,940 --> 01:09:57,640
That's got nothing to do with it.
Vanessa and I aren't in love anymore.

1017
01:09:57,740 --> 01:09:59,440
You were in love when you married her!

1018
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:02,540
If you're in love once,
you can be in love again.

1019
01:10:02,540 --> 01:10:05,840
Like my friend Leah has been with the
same guy four different times.

1020
01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:07,640
You're just not trying hard enough.

1021
01:10:07,940 --> 01:10:09,140
I'm such an idiot. I can't
believe what an idiot I am.

1022
01:10:09,140 --> 01:10:10,040
No, you know what, Mark.

1023
01:10:10,540 --> 01:10:13,240
Do not divorce your wife!

1024
01:10:14,040 --> 01:10:17,640
Will you please just do me a
solid and stay with Vanessa?

1025
01:10:19,740 --> 01:10:20,540
You're so young.

1026
01:10:21,240 --> 01:10:24,340
I'm not that young.
Okay I'm 16.

1027
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:26,740
I'm old enough to know when
someone's acting like a total a-hole!

1028
01:10:26,740 --> 01:10:28,140
Oh, and you know what,

1029
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:32,540
I bought another Sonic Youth album
and it sucks! It's just noise!

1030
01:10:38,140 --> 01:10:39,840
Juno? What's going on?

1031
01:10:40,940 --> 01:10:41,640
Nothing.

1032
01:10:42,740 --> 01:10:43,940
Why are you crying?

1033
01:10:44,540 --> 01:10:47,840
I'm not crying. I'm just
allergic to fine home furnishings.

1034
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:49,840
What's the matter?

1035
01:10:50,540 --> 01:10:51,640
What's the matter?

1036
01:10:52,340 --> 01:10:54,840
She's just a little
hormonal. Right, Juno?

1037
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:56,840
It's part of the process.

1038
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:01,840
What did you do?

1039
01:11:04,340 --> 01:11:05,240
I didn't do anything...

1040
01:11:07,340 --> 01:11:08,240
Just...

1041
01:11:12,940 --> 01:11:13,840
I've been thinking.

1042
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:17,940
- What?
- Just thinking if this is the right thing.

1043
01:11:19,540 --> 01:11:20,840
What are you talking about?

1044
01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:23,940
Just wondering if it's,

1045
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:25,840
Just wondering if we're ready.

1046
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:28,140
Yeah, we're ready.

1047
01:11:28,540 --> 01:11:31,540
We're ready. We've read the
books, we've taken all the classes.

1048
01:11:31,540 --> 01:11:33,940
We have a nursery that is completely...

1049
01:11:33,940 --> 01:11:39,640
Vanessa, I know we're prepared.
I'm just wondering if... I'm ready.

1050
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:45,440
Wait a minute.

1051
01:11:45,940 --> 01:11:49,040
Juno, don't listen to him.
He's just got cold feet.

1052
01:11:49,540 --> 01:11:50,640
He's just being a guy.

1053
01:11:50,940 --> 01:11:52,240
The books all say the same thing.

1054
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:54,240
A woman becomes a mother
when she gets pregnant.

1055
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:56,840
A man becomes a father
when he sees his baby.

1056
01:11:58,340 --> 01:12:00,840
He's gonna get there.

1057
01:12:01,340 --> 01:12:02,140
It just happened so fast.

1058
01:12:02,140 --> 01:12:07,540
We put the ad in the paper and I thought
it was gonna take months if at all and then,

1059
01:12:07,540 --> 01:12:08,540
Two weeks later, she's on that couch.

1060
01:12:08,540 --> 01:12:09,640
She answered our prayers.

1061
01:12:09,940 --> 01:12:13,140
Ever since then it's
been like a ticking clock.

1062
01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:18,140
What are you saying?

1063
01:12:21,240 --> 01:12:22,840
That it feels a little like bad timing.

1064
01:12:26,440 --> 01:12:28,840
What would be a good time for you, Mark?

1065
01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:32,740
There's just some things
that I still wanna do.

1066
01:12:33,540 --> 01:12:35,140
Like what? Be a rock star?

1067
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:37,440
Don't mock me.

1068
01:12:38,940 --> 01:12:40,340
I'm just saying that this is,

1069
01:12:41,340 --> 01:12:43,040
This is something that's
never gonna happen.

1070
01:12:47,540 --> 01:12:48,840
Your shirt is stupid.

1071
01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:51,040
Grow up.

1072
01:12:51,840 --> 01:12:53,940
If I have to wait for
you to become Kurt Cobain,

1073
01:12:53,940 --> 01:12:55,740
I'm never gonna be a mother.

1074
01:12:59,940 --> 01:13:01,540
I never said I'd be a good father.

1075
01:15:57,540 --> 01:16:01,140
I called Gerta Rauss and she said
that she can represent both of us.

1076
01:16:01,140 --> 01:16:03,740
It's called a "collaborative divorce. "

1077
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:06,640
It's all the rage right now, supposedly.

1078
01:16:07,340 --> 01:16:09,340
And it would be pretty easy
because we don't have any children.

1079
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:11,540
Thanks for making the call, I guess.

1080
01:16:19,340 --> 01:16:20,940
Have you found a place to stay yet?

1081
01:16:21,340 --> 01:16:23,940
- Yeah, downtown.
- A hotel?

1082
01:16:24,340 --> 01:16:26,440
No, it's not a hotel. It's a loft.

1083
01:16:27,540 --> 01:16:29,140
Aren't you the cool guy?

1084
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,540
I wanted a baby so bad.

1085
01:16:37,540 --> 01:16:38,640
I know.

1086
01:16:58,840 --> 01:17:00,640
- It looks like a bill from Jiffy-Lube.
- It's for me.

1087
01:17:43,440 --> 01:17:45,540
I never realize how much
I like being home unless

1088
01:17:45,540 --> 01:17:48,240
I've been somewhere really
different for a while.

1089
01:17:57,040 --> 01:17:58,240
Hey, Dad.

1090
01:17:58,240 --> 01:18:00,040
Hey, big puffy version of Junebug.

1091
01:18:01,140 --> 01:18:01,940
Where have you been?

1092
01:18:02,240 --> 01:18:05,840
Dealing with things way
beyond my maturity level.

1093
01:18:08,940 --> 01:18:09,940
Where is everybody?

1094
01:18:10,640 --> 01:18:13,740
Bren took Liberty Bell to
her tot ice skating class.

1095
01:18:14,740 --> 01:18:17,640
When will you guys learn
that tots can't ice skate?

1096
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:21,040
You're looking a little morose, honey.

1097
01:18:21,440 --> 01:18:22,340
What's eating you?

1098
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:33,740
I'm just, like, losing
my faith with humanity.

1099
01:18:34,440 --> 01:18:36,240
Can you narrow that down for me?

1100
01:18:37,740 --> 01:18:38,540
I just...

1101
01:18:38,940 --> 01:18:40,240
...wonder if...

1102
01:18:41,540 --> 01:18:43,940
...two people can
stay together for good.

1103
01:18:45,140 --> 01:18:46,040
You mean like couples?

1104
01:18:46,440 --> 01:18:47,240
Yeah, like,

1105
01:18:47,640 --> 01:18:48,740
People in love.

1106
01:18:50,340 --> 01:18:53,840
Are you having boy trouble
'cause I gotta be honest;

1107
01:18:53,840 --> 01:18:55,940
I don't really much approve of
you dating in your condition,

1108
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:57,340
That's kind of messed up.

1109
01:18:57,440 --> 01:18:58,240
No, dad!

1110
01:18:58,940 --> 01:18:59,840
I mean, that's pretty skanky.

1111
01:19:00,140 --> 01:19:02,040
Isn't that what you girls
call it? Skanky? Skeevy?

1112
01:19:02,140 --> 01:19:03,340
Please stop.

1113
01:19:03,740 --> 01:19:04,540
Tore up from the floor up?

1114
01:19:04,940 --> 01:19:07,440
That's not what it's about.

1115
01:19:11,140 --> 01:19:18,040
I just need to know that it's possible that
two people can stay happy together forever.

1116
01:19:19,140 --> 01:19:20,940
It's not easy, that's for sure.

1117
01:19:21,740 --> 01:19:25,340
I don't have the best track
record in the world, I know, but,

1118
01:19:26,240 --> 01:19:28,540
I've been with your
stepmother for 10 years now, I don't know

1119
01:19:29,140 --> 01:19:30,940
and I'm proud to say
that we're very happy.

1120
01:19:32,840 --> 01:19:33,740
Look...

1121
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:36,040
...In my opinion...

1122
01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:43,040
The best thing you can do is find a person
who loves you for exactly what you are.

1123
01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:47,640
Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty,

1124
01:19:48,140 --> 01:19:50,040
Handsome, what have you,

1125
01:19:51,440 --> 01:19:54,140
the right person is still gonna
think the sun shines out of your ass.

1126
01:19:57,740 --> 01:19:59,640
That's the kind of person
that's worth sticking with.

1127
01:20:00,740 --> 01:20:01,340
Yeah.

1128
01:20:05,740 --> 01:20:07,740
I think I've found that person.

1129
01:20:08,540 --> 01:20:10,340
Yeah, sure you
have. Your old D-A-D!

1130
01:20:11,840 --> 01:20:15,540
You know I'll always be there to love you, support
you, no matter what kind of pickle you're in.

1131
01:20:16,940 --> 01:20:17,940
Obviously.

1132
01:20:23,240 --> 01:20:24,740
Dad, I think I'm just gonna,

1133
01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:27,040
shove out for a sec, but,

1134
01:20:27,340 --> 01:20:29,040
I won't be home late.

1135
01:20:29,240 --> 01:20:30,040
Okay.

1136
01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:32,940
You were talking about me, right?

1137
01:20:33,840 --> 01:20:34,940
Oh, yeah.

1138
01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:32,140
Hi.

1139
01:21:34,540 --> 01:21:37,540
Did you put like a hundred
things of tic tacs in my mailbox?

1140
01:21:37,740 --> 01:21:39,440
Oh, yeah, that was me.

1141
01:21:40,340 --> 01:21:41,240
Why?

1142
01:21:41,540 --> 01:21:43,040
Well you know they're your fave.

1143
01:21:43,740 --> 01:21:47,040
You can never have too many of your
favorite one-calorie breath mint.

1144
01:21:47,540 --> 01:21:49,440
Yeah, well thanks, I...

1145
01:21:49,740 --> 01:21:53,140
...I think I'm pretty much set
until college on the tic tac front.

1146
01:21:53,940 --> 01:21:55,440
You know, Bleek, I was thinking.

1147
01:21:55,740 --> 01:21:59,840
I'm sorry I was such a huge bitch to you.
You don't deserve it.

1148
01:22:00,740 --> 01:22:02,840
It's okay you know.

1149
01:22:04,540 --> 01:22:05,540
And also,

1150
01:22:07,940 --> 01:22:09,440
I think I'm in love with you.

1151
01:22:11,740 --> 01:22:12,940
What, you mean as friends?

1152
01:22:13,740 --> 01:22:14,540
No.

1153
01:22:15,540 --> 01:22:16,740
I mean, for real.

1154
01:22:17,640 --> 01:22:21,440
Because you're, like, the
coolest person I've ever met.

1155
01:22:21,640 --> 01:22:23,940
And you don't even have to try.

1156
01:22:26,140 --> 01:22:27,440
I try really hard, actually.

1157
01:22:27,840 --> 01:22:29,240
You're, like, naturally smart.

1158
01:22:30,440 --> 01:22:31,940
You're not like everyone else.

1159
01:22:32,240 --> 01:22:35,140
You don't stare at my stomach
all the time, you look at my face.

1160
01:22:35,340 --> 01:22:41,440
And every time I see you, the
baby starts kicking super hard.

1161
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:43,140
It does?

1162
01:22:55,840 --> 01:22:58,740
I think it's because my heart
starts pounding every time I see you.

1163
01:22:59,840 --> 01:23:00,740
Mine too.

1164
01:23:03,640 --> 01:23:05,740
That's all I could ask for.

1165
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:09,940
You're golden, man.

1166
01:23:13,240 --> 01:23:14,840
Can we make out now?

1167
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:17,440
Yeah.

1168
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:33,940
You know, you can go into early
labor sucking face like that!

1169
01:23:57,640 --> 01:23:58,640
Dad!

1170
01:23:59,740 --> 01:24:00,540
What?

1171
01:24:01,440 --> 01:24:03,340
Dad, either I just peed my pants or...

1172
01:24:05,140 --> 01:24:06,040
Or?

1173
01:24:07,140 --> 01:24:08,840
Thundercats are go!

1174
01:24:09,140 --> 01:24:09,940
All out, all out!

1175
01:24:12,140 --> 01:24:14,440
Do you have the admittance form?

1176
01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:15,940
What about the parking stickers?

1177
01:24:16,940 --> 01:24:18,040
Have you got Liberty Bell?

1178
01:24:18,040 --> 01:24:20,340
Oh, sweetie, sweetie!

1179
01:24:21,340 --> 01:24:22,140
Here we go.

1180
01:24:25,540 --> 01:24:26,840
Hurry! Start the car, go!

1181
01:24:27,440 --> 01:24:28,740
Gas!

1182
01:24:33,140 --> 01:24:35,940
- Wait, wait!
- Out of the way!

1183
01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:40,540
- Don't do that.
- What?

1184
01:24:40,940 --> 01:24:42,840
- That.
- But it's fun!

1185
01:24:45,140 --> 01:24:47,340
Bren, when do I get that
friggin' Spinal Tap thing?

1186
01:24:47,740 --> 01:24:50,240
It's called a spinal block, and
you can't have it yet, honey.

1187
01:24:50,240 --> 01:24:52,340
The doctor said you're
not dilated enough.

1188
01:24:52,540 --> 01:24:57,240
Come on! I have to wait
for it to get worse?

1189
01:24:57,240 --> 01:24:58,540
Why can't I just have
the friggin' thing now?

1190
01:24:58,540 --> 01:25:02,540
Honey, doctors are sadists who like to
play God and watch lesser people scream.

1191
01:25:03,440 --> 01:25:04,240
Oh, shit.

1192
01:25:04,940 --> 01:25:08,740
Excuse me! Can we give my kid
the damn spinal tap already?

1193
01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:38,940
And then...

1194
01:25:39,840 --> 01:25:41,740
...out of nowhere...

1195
01:25:41,840 --> 01:25:43,240
...there it was...

1196
01:25:44,940 --> 01:25:46,140
There he was.

1197
01:25:53,240 --> 01:25:56,040
I decided not to call Bleeker to
tell him that I was having the baby.

1198
01:25:56,240 --> 01:26:00,840
He had a big meet against Manteno and I
didn't want him to get all worried about me.

1199
01:26:06,040 --> 01:26:07,540
But he figured it out anyway.

1200
01:26:25,140 --> 01:26:27,240
Someday you'll be back here, honey.

1201
01:26:29,540 --> 01:26:31,040
On your terms.

1202
01:26:43,140 --> 01:26:44,140
Hey.

1203
01:26:44,940 --> 01:26:46,940
Nice legs.

1204
01:27:28,740 --> 01:27:30,740
Bleeker decided he didn't
want to see the baby.

1205
01:27:32,340 --> 01:27:35,640
Neither did I, really.
He didn't feel like ours.

1206
01:27:42,840 --> 01:27:44,440
I think he was always hers.

1207
01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:50,640
Would you like to meet your son?

1208
01:27:52,940 --> 01:27:54,940
I have a son?

1209
01:28:23,040 --> 01:28:24,240
How do I look?

1210
01:28:25,640 --> 01:28:26,940
Like a new mom.

1211
01:28:27,340 --> 01:28:28,540
Scared shitless.

1212
01:28:54,640 --> 01:28:56,140
It ended with a chair.

1213
01:29:52,640 --> 01:29:58,740
As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally
boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni.

1214
01:30:00,740 --> 01:30:03,840
I know people are supposed to fall
in love before they reproduce, but,

1215
01:30:04,640 --> 01:30:06,740
I guess normalcy's not really our style.

1216
01:30:13,440 --> 01:30:14,140
Hey.

1217
01:30:14,640 --> 01:30:15,840
Hey.

1218
01:30:20,740 --> 01:30:21,540
Ready?

1219
01:30:21,940 --> 01:30:23,140
Yeah.