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- by Cody Semroska
- Dear Mom & Dad -
- I want to share something about my life that is important because I love
- you. I am gay. I have only known this about myself since I was 25. In
- the years that have passed since then, keeping this a secret from you
- has become more and more of a burden. It has also placed an invisible
- wall between us in that I can not share with you much of what goes on in
- my life, something that straight children take for granted. I could not
- share the excitement of dating somebody new nor the pain when things
- didn't work out. I have spent many nights crying with a broken heart,
- alone, unable to call you for support.
- I know that you may be feeling shocked, confused, angry, and sad; and
- perhaps you might feel that, somewhere along the way, you have failed as
- parents. From what I have read, these are common reactions. You have
- not failed as parents; you have both been wonderful. Nobody chooses to
- be gay and I accept myself and am happy with who I am. My friends have
- known for some time and they accept me as well. I hope that you will be
- happy for me.
- Part of me thinks that you might have suspected for some time that I am
- gay since I never brought home girls while in school and I never talk
- about dating or women now. On the other hand, my being gay may have
- come as a complete surprise to you and you may need to take some time to
- get used to the idea. Hopefully, a few years from now, our relationship
- will be closer than it has been in the past. This is part of the reason
- I am coming out to you: to tear down the wall between us. When we speak
- on the phone and you ask me what is going on in my life and I say,
- "Nothing," I have been lying. I haven't been lying to deceive you, but
- because I could not tell you the truth. This lying has been eating at
- me for some time now and I'm tired of it. So this was the choice I had
- to make: either keep lying and allow us to grow even farther apart from
- each other, or tell the truth and hopefully have a better relationship
- in the long run.
- I know you have always loved me very much. It was very hard to mail
- this letter for fear of losing that love. I have cried several times
- while writing it. Although you may not understand about being gay, I
- hope that you still love me now. Know that I am the same person now as
- I was before you read this letter; you just know one more thing about
- me. I am still "Paul Jay." When you are ready, you are welcome to call
- me so we can talk about this more.
- Love,
- Cody
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