A Kiki & Her Knight

>Be kikimora
>Follow Fabian d'Arc, a knight skilled with sword and word
>Despite the insults of the other knights, he searches for the Holy Grail
>They say he cannot find it
>You believe in your master and follow him
>He has stopped for a drink of water
>You hold your coconut halves at the ready, for when he moves
>You would rather hold his 'coconuts'
>It can never be, he is a noble and you are a mere commoner
>He travels far and wide in search of the Holy Grail
>You follow dutifully clacking the coconuts at the appropriate times
>Eventually, he crosses the Channel to a new land
>The people are uncouth and speak a language that is little more than a bastardized version of French
>Your master learns the language of the Britons, because he is a handsome genius
>You bravely follow him over the moors in search of the Grail
>He battles a black-scaled Lizardman to a draw
>Refuses to fully beat her
>He doesn't want to marry her
>Hope for you
>One night, whilst carefully preparing his evening meal, you realize you are out of foie gras
>Grovel at his feet for forgiveness
>He forgives you and thanks you for your exemplary service
>You wish he had given you a tongue lashing instead... a special kind of tongue lashing
>The next day, he finds an abandoned tower
>While exploring the tower, he finds the Grail
>Your faith in your master is rewarded when you see him succeed
>Immediately, you both go back to the civilized land of the French
>With proof that the Grail has been find, your master convinces several soldiers to fortify the tower
>Even the great Guy de Lombaird agrees to come and secure a nearby castle
>The tower containing the Grail is a symbol of the divine right of France to rule the world
>Serve master with pride
>You make the tower the cleanest tower this side of the Channel
>One day, he proposes marriage to you
>Being that he found the Grail, he can break the bonds of class for you, his most devoted and loyal follower
>You faint
>A priest comes to the tower to perform the ceremony
>Just before the wedding begins, some English k'niggets come riding up
>Fabian goes to the wall to tell them to leave
>You know his eloquent words will surely sway the knights to leave, so that the ceremony can continue
>You hate the way the crude Briton language rolls off his perfect tongue
>Finally after much yelling, they leave
>You hold Fabian's hands in yours, as the priest pronounces you man and kikimora wife
>FIN