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Sasha. That had been his name long ago, it wasn’t anymore.
The night after the gruesome events unfolded, the wolf found himself running in a single direction, away from the disaster he had left behind. He didn’t stop until his legs became numb and he fell to the ground, wheezing and panting and by then the sun had rose and the sunlight sept through the leaves of the tall trees. Painstakingly, Sasha had dragged himself to a creek, glancing down at his reflection on the water.

Who are you?

”I’m Sasha.” The wolf’s expression turned into a frown, that was the name he was given, the name meant to put him in his place below everyone else. He wouldn’t be a slave anymore. He wouldn’t be a human anymore, he would leave that life behind and start from zero, he would forget, he would lock the human away. And that’s what he did.

He had counted six snowy winters. Some winters were colder than the other, some winters froze his whiskers while others drove all animals away and into hibernation, leaving the wolf hungry in the vast empty wilderness.  In short time he had become the apex predator wherever he went, he outsized other wolves, his prey often never having encountered a predator his size and strength. Sometimes he bit more than he could chew, but that had not stopped him, he had risen again and again, continuing his journey that led nowhere, his only purpose being his survival.

When he glanced at his reflection, either in the water, ice or the windows of cabins he would walk past, he no longer though about Sasha the man. No. Words had long ago faded away from his memory, there was this sense of self, this was him, the wolf. He had to continue surviving, he had to continue fighting his way through, why? He didn’t know, he wasn’t concerned with such trivial thoughts, the thought of when his next meal would be being more important.

Renouncing to his humanity had meant forgetting how to be human, his animal brain only keeping abstract details of past events. That did not mean he had forgotten his past actions, the mere thought of slavery sent him in a fit of anger and rage, the thought of someone else having control over him was infuriating. It wasn’t the fact that he had found himself killing creatures, that was nature’s order, no, he had been treated like a dumb beast. Well, he was a dumb beast. Green eyes would appear in the darkness of his dreams, they were full of sadness. Reminding him of the pup he had killed. It took him a time to understand the severity of his actions, the more he became an animal and forgot about the things he had been taught, the more sadness and angst it brought him to remember his atrocious actions. Even the vilest of animals out in the forest wouldn’t commit such a crime. No. Animals would fight till the end to protect their young ones. He was just a monster.


The rage that had been indoctrinated inside of him had slowly faded away and morphed into what would be considered a predator’s natural state, no longer was he a killing machine with no purpose. He fed himself, he looked for shelter and once he came north enough to see dancing lights on the sky, but he returned south, the tundra wasn’t for him. The wolf had no longer bloodlust, he was just a wolf doing the things a wolf would do.

Sometimes he would sit still as if that would be enough to help time pass and finally take him away from old age. Sometimes he would stare from the edge of mountains and wonder what sound his body would make as it hit the rocks beneath. Humans had driven all wolves away, he had met packs through his journey, he never stuck, he always had to keep on moving, as if that would help him escape from his past. The wolf had matured, years remaining unshifted had helped him grow like the wolf he was meant to be.

His experiences had shaped him, and if he were to shift, the marks of those experiences would no longer be hidden under his thick mane. He could remember a fox biting his nose, perhaps that would show too, wait… How did he look as a human again? The thought was a blur, had he been a human at all? He couldn’t remember himself as one, he couldn’t see himself walking on two legs, with no fur to cover him from the harsh weather. At the end of those six winters, he had nothing that told him he had once been human.

He had always been a wolf, even though abstract thoughts he no longer understood would cause a reaction from him.

A wolf. That’s who he was.
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There had been young wolves in his forest, he had smelled them and he had heard them, accompanied by a feline, a tiger. They had drank from his creek and eaten the fish that swam through there, uninvited guests that he did not want. But what could he do? They were pups and seemingly had no figure to keep them in order, no mother and no father. They weren’t animals like him, no, he could see the human ways in the actions.

The wolves had to stood their ground when he walked out of the trees, stepping into the creek and staring at them, all four animals with their fur bristled as they glanced at each other. Sasha couldn’t help but huff at their bravery, he could slam their heads down to the ground with his paw if he wanted to. But he wouldn’t. Slowly he sat down, waiting for them to calm down, and when that failed he fished salmon out of the water, the same way a bear would and threw it to the shore close to them.

Soon they had gained trust on each other, he had taught them a couple of things, communicating like animals did. Soon they could fish and when they had exhausted themselves he had showed them a small secure spot where they could nap. The ferocious creature had been playing catch with them before they all ran away in a single direction, he was letting them win, biting his ears, snout and legs, their bites considered mild. Sasha followed them, becoming increasingly wary as they neared the edge of the forest. He stopped where the pine trees stopped, glancing at the pups as they obediently walked towards a woman with fiery red hair.


Sasha’s fur bristled and he lowered himself, staring at her and growling. For a second a thought crossed his mind, a sort of memory, a thing that brought him pain and squeeze his massive heart. His yellow eyes were fixed on the woman until he shook his head and snapped himself out of this trance, the pups had shifted, small humans. The one with blond hair signalled him to come closer as if he was just another buddy. Sasha took a couple of steps forwards, each one showing how much of a massive wolf he was as his paws sunk of the fresh soil. It seemed like he had been thrown around and drove over with a semi-truck, his grey fur ruffled and uneven as if hair didn’t grown on certain places, one ear a couple centimetres shorter than the other and a small scar right on his dark nose. Pups, he huffed as the blond one walked closer and shooed him closer and closer to the cabin, speaking the tongue of men, something that sounded familiar to him but that he couldn’t understand clearly “We found him in the forest! A real animal! Can we keep him?!” He shouted excited and began actually shoving the wolf, who responded with a growl until he was on the porch, where he sat down, his eyes once again fixed on the woman, realising she was carrying a small human cub that smelled like a wolf. “He isn’t dangerous.” The tiger girl muttered and walked closer, letting the wolf sniff her hand and bite it whole in a playful manner. “It would be interested to learn from a real one” The boy with a dark mop of hair muttered, looking up at Lily with crossed arms.