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- ~ Coarse Review of Video Games ~
- (a.k.a. kill a kids brain plox)
- Jurassic Park: Impossible to play, makes you want to throw up alot.
- Legend of Zelda LttP: Going to trigger epilepsy with the lantern. So mad.
- Ogre Battle tMotBQ: Are you fucking kidding me? Warren killed me first fight.
- Secret of Evermore: Map scrolling triggers a vomit relfex that is infuriating.
- You can barely do damage and rely on your dog to do all things.
- (hahahahaha, amerika, fuck yeah...)
- Super Caesars Palace: This was programmed by real human beings. Jibberish suppressed.
- Weapon Lord: Fucking completely insane and ultra-violent. Prolly a net leak.
- .
- ~ Poker Rules ~
- 1 Draw: {Flush,Straight}
- 2 Draw: {Pair + HC,3-HC,3oK}~(Defensive Card-Cycle)
- 3 Draw: {u10-Pair,2-HC}
- 4 Draw: {black-Ace + 4-red-scramble}.{black-King} (keep red Royal)(reject 1,2-black)
- Fold: {lowScramble}{busted-double.Straight}.50%~(keep 2x-Royal/HC)
- Betting rules are opponent dependent and vary based on deck cycling.
- -Snake: Always max out with >3oK. Win rate ~ 90%
- -Tiger: Kill stealer. Required to time losing. Hard.
- -Reptl: Play Randomnifically. Bluff Always.
- More casual set of rules stemming off of quad draws for anything Queen+ and using
- softer betting strategies/higher fold rates was discovered. Comfortably made 300
- without paying attention to much.
- .
- The Tentacle:
- ''''''''''''`
- It has been deduced through etheric molestation that a 'tentacle' is a tubular nerve-
- oid with a thick exterior sheathing filled with a stimulable slurry for nerve-tube
- deformations to occur. In order to increase the dexterity of the structure, suckies
- get added to apply large amounts of negative pressure relative to the environment.
- Most tentacled objects are either a large worm, or something that grows in the sea.
- It can be quickly noticed that:
- 1. Worms dont grow very complicated as their environment is either dirt or a sewage
- system.
- 2. That negative suckies perform much better in a high pressure environment (like
- living underneath several tens of feet of water) when compared to a low pressure
- environment.
- 3. That a tentacled being does not need a direct brain to function. This quickly adds
- two more minor notations to the observation:
- A. [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] inside of nothing but an iris and [REDACTED]
- [REDACTED] [REDACTED].
- B. That sea-beings that are non-mammal may not actually think for themselves most
- of the time, and may be receiving etheric stimuli through the sodiated slurry
- they call home.
- In the end, its worth mentioning that in the no-longer published title 'Kindred of
- the East', it is possible to design a Kindred that is capable of taking on transfor-
- mations that can included the development of a scaled, sucky-free, armored 10ft long
- pair of tentacles. This transformation takes nothing more than a sub-combat turn and
- it is extremely easy to reach out and grab, disarm, maim, break-the-neck-of, dismem-
- ber, or behead almost any enemy threat dumb enough to get within tentaclating dis-
- tance.
- This transformation can be defended against by a second transformation involving the
- development of long, forked, exoskeletal limbs that emulate a praying mantis with
- super-pincers. These limbs have been coarsely animated in 'The Matrix: Reanimated'
- and it can be effortlessly construed by combat-brained beings that these limbs are
- less dextrous, but make tentaclating difficult. They are used to apply piercing style
- wounds to the enemy.
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