when everyone finds out they're related to the pokeo cast

[23:49:01] <Raven> Raven marches right toward Balph's workshop, after hearing a very alarming report from some witnesses! "Balthazar Theodore Woels, what in tarnations did you do this time?!"
[23:49:56] * KujiUn (Kotodes@93D3A8D3.60ECF9E2.E096B1A4.IP) has left #OranSquare (Leaving)
[23:50:17] * Balthazar was nappin above his worktable, working on a mechanical Ariados, only to wake up startled by Raven's sudden appearance. "V-v-vhat! S-sis?"
[23:51:23] : Maka peeks out from behind Raven. "I-I h-heard a crash and a boom from around here..." her voice is quiet and trembling. "B-but I don't know what it was..."
[23:52:56] <Raven> She barges in and strides right up to the desk. "I heard several reports of you being involved with some explosion near town or something, and your pet dragon thing dragging the remains of SOMETHING back here.  What the HELL did you do?"
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[23:54:12] <Balthazar> "Oh, hello, can i interest you in somezink, eh?" He says while turning to Maka. "Mechanical contraptions and such!" He fidgets around, trying to clean the desk. "Uh, about ze explosion... It vas an UF-I MEAN METEOR!"
[23:54:34] <Balthazar> A large UFO is right behind him by the way.
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[23:56:25] <Raven> Raven crosses her arms and and frowns. "Right.  A meteor.  Uh huh.  I'm sure all meteors look like something the Imperial army would be toying with."
[23:56:26] <Maka> "Um...I told Raven about what I heard over here and...s-she wanted to come straight here to see..." Maka peers over at the what the fuck even is that.
[23:57:03] <Raven> "This better not have involved those poor mareeps!"
[23:58:04] <Balthazar> "I didn't do anything with them! This time. I just found it and brooght it home, eh?"
[23:59:20] <Raven> "Oh sure you just found somethi-" she gets a better look at it, "Oh Arceus that is so not Imperial.  And I know you didn't build that, you don't build things that don't explode."
[23:59:49] <Maka> "I-is it going to...to e-explode?" Maka ducks behind Raven again.
[23:59:56] <Balthazar> "They only explode one third of the time! In any case, zis is ze scientific discovery of ze millenium, eh? And it even came with an Alien!"
[00:01:55] <Raven> "That sounds about as crazy as the story about when granpapa licked a ghost.  No, really, where did you find that?"  She's examining a bit closer.
[00:03:22] <Balthazar> "On ze woods. It fell und made a BOOM! Boom! Boom! Boom!"
[00:03:49] <Balthazar> "Ze stupid lumberjack vas zhere too. And a bidoof. A -suspicioos- one."
[00:04:23] <Maka> At Raven's words, Maka takes out a small pad of paper from her pocket and scribbles something in it. She slowly approaches the UFO. "B-but what is it?"
[00:05:10] <Balthazar> "It's a flying machine! Vhoosh! Vhoosh!" He makes motions with his arm.
[00:05:12] <Raven> "It...fell," she taps on the side of it. Yup, that's definently metallic. "Okay, fine, where is this 'alien' of yours, Terry?"
[00:05:25] <Maka> (>Terry)
[00:05:37] <Balthazar> (His nickname)
[00:05:49] <Raven> (booyah mirrior dork)
[00:06:10] <Maka> (really? now that's going to be confusing since there's another Terri)
[00:06:24] <Balthazar> <Hello there.> A small green creature suddenly appears from inside the ship!
[00:06:53] <Maka> "Oh my god it talks." Maka clasps her hands over her mouth.
[00:07:16] <Raven> "dwah," Raven instinctively points her rifle at it.
[00:07:27] <Raven> "FREEZE...THING."
[00:08:04] <Balthazar> "Zat veapon is quite obsolete, you know. I already told you i 'ave better ones! Ze little green guy even gave me another!"
[00:10:00] <Raven> "The last time we had this discussion you nearly put a hole in the inn of the - he gave you what?" She lowers the rifle, curious.
[00:10:06] <Maka> "I-it t-talks in my head! H-how does it do that?" Maka has the most confused look on her face still.
[00:10:49] <Maka> "...A-are you...d-did the Unown send you too?"
[00:11:23] <Balthazar> "Señor X here is from ze Elgyemagajig or vhatever. He's a psychologist und his ship crashed 'ere, eh?"
[00:12:21] <Raven> Raven squints at the little guy. "You know it's pretty ironic you'd find a psychologist as your new lab assistent."
[00:12:54] : Maka recalls the bar incident and gives a small nod. "...You could use a psychologist."
[00:13:24] * CCM (CCM@489571E1.DABDF86C.8B5832E3.IP) Quit (Quit: fine. FINE. BE THAT WAY.)
[00:14:09] <Raven> "And Maka, I think it talking is the least curious thing here considering you have a...a...just what the shit IS this thing?" she's quite overwhelmed by this.
[00:14:16] <Balthazar> <I'm a Behylgiththri, sir.> "Your name is Señor X! Und you guys... I am not crazy! Ze stoopid professors already called me zis!"
[00:15:13] <Maka> "D-do you see these...things a lot in the city?"
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[00:16:21] <Balthazar> <Our craft came from the planet Xthcthuthmthklthroan. I do not believe it can be seen on human cities.>
[00:16:23] <Raven> She sighs, "I just don't want you repeatin' what happened at the academy, Terry.  You do some pretty risky experiments; you could kill yourself if you ain't careful.  So...just what the hell do you plan to do with this thing, and Mr. X here."
[00:17:21] <Raven> "And Maka, let's just say my family has some...interesting Pokemon living with us."
[00:17:47] <Maka> "...Ecksloothe...what? ...Can you see it through a telescope?"
[00:18:04] <Balthazar> "Ze craft? I vill make it fly again. Und probably reverse engineer it. X says 'es honorboond to serve me, so i think he vill vork as an assistant for a vhile. I might disassemble to sell parts thoogh. No one is buying anyzink lately."
[00:19:59] <Raven> Raven just sort of stares at the little guy. "And what was this about a rifle?"
[00:20:05] <Balthazar> "Hey, timid girl! You vant a robot!"
[00:20:51] <Maka> "..." Maka ducks behind Raven. "...a...r-robot? S-sure, I guess."
[00:20:54] <Balthazar> "Your rifle is too cumbersome, not to mention obsolete und brutish! If you use my phaser technology, it can become non-lethal yet powerful!"
[00:22:37] <Raven> "Your prototype has serious jamming issues, we've had this discussion.  That and it's a god damn pistol, I need a rifle.  But...nonleathal, that does sound handy."
[00:23:55] : Maka slowly edges toward the spacecraft. The gun nerds can have their talk, she's more curious and worried about this whatever the fuck it is.
[00:25:38] <Balthazar> "I can... Make a rifle modification, although i never tried it before, too large, not enough portable."
[00:25:53] <Balthazar> "But i can try! Zere is a first thing for everything, eh?"
[00:27:37] <Raven> She looks to the little green guy, "What about the weapon you gave him?  Pokemon that use weaponry like that, huh."
[00:27:56] <Raven> "Been workin' on trying to teach some to do that. Let's just say attempts haven't been successful."
[00:29:15] <Balthazar> <The Neutron Polarity Stunner issued to Elgyxth Defense officers?>
[00:29:28] : Maka gives Raven a scared look and whispers to her. "Y-you want him to give his weapons to...to pokemon? I-it's bad enough when he has them."
[00:29:44] <Balthazar> "Ze shooty veapon i used to knock myself out, yeah. It did vorked out, eh?"
[00:29:56] <Balthazar> "Note to self: Not shoot self on 'ead again."
[00:30:59] <Raven> Raven was about to say something to Maka, but... "You shot yourself. With a stun gun."
[00:32:54] <Maka> "...If that's how he works...I'm...not sure I want his robots. They might shoot me."
[00:33:09] <Raven> "Maka, his robots won't shoot you, they'll shoot themselves."
[00:33:29] <Raven> "Or blow up. A lot blow up."
[00:33:30] <Maka> "B-but then they'll break and I won't have a robot anymore."
[00:34:04] <Balthazar> "It vas a stun gun, so i vas sure it vould not be lethal!"
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[00:34:23] <Balthazar> "Z-zhey only explode vhen i built it into zem!"
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[00:34:36] <Maka> "...You know a lot about Balthazar, Raven. A-and...and it's all about stuff blowing up."
[00:34:42] <Balthazar> "I can make you a non-explosive robot, althoogh zey are too boring, eh?"
[00:36:00] <Raven> "We grew up together, our families are pretty close," she shrugs. "Kinda like siblings.  But...fine, enough about the weapons, though I still wanna toy with that rocket launcher you're building later. Just...what's inside this thing?"
[00:37:22] <Balthazar> "Ze ship? I don't know very well, but... Ze chairs are comfy, although it smells like dead alien."
[00:37:23] : Maka goes up and leans her head inside the UFO. "Did the robots come with this?"
[00:37:46] <Balthazar> The inside of the UFO is full of green blood!
[00:38:15] <Raven> Raven's jaw drops as she sees this...blood everywhere. "Did you like, seriously clean the exterior and leave this all over the place?"
[00:38:29] : Maka gasps and rushes out. "w-what happened in there?! Gr-green...." she can't quite seem to finish.
[00:39:50] <Raven> She releases April the Buizel, "You got a mop or somethin' layin around?  Who knows what kind of foulness that blood could do if you leave it...layin' around like this?"
[00:40:18] <Balthazar> "Ze other occupants... Zey... Didn't survived ze fall. I disposed of ze bodies 'umanly thoogh." <You fed them to your creature.>
[00:40:41] <Balthazar> "I vill get around to clean it! ...Sometime."
[00:41:00] <Raven> "Oh that's just fucked up Terry, come on!" Raven hunts around for a broom. "No, we're doing this pronto, as we peak around it a little."
[00:41:57] <Maka> "...Fed them?!" Maka's eyes widen, then she gives a dubious look at Raven. "I...I don't think a broom is enough..."
[00:42:31] <Raven> "That's what April's for, Maka.  Can't think of much soap and water won't take care of."
[00:43:34] <Balthazar> "Do you know 'ow much soap costs these days?"
[00:43:36] <Maka> "H-how are you so calm? Don't tell me this happens often with him." Maka latches on to Raven from behind and peeks out at the gruesome mess.
[00:44:24] <Balthazar> <It appears that such detachment is a sympthom of Sociopathy, a human-only condition.>
[00:47:50] <Raven> Raven rubs her temples. "Maka, I'm an Imperial Guard. I was trained to endure stuff like this.  Well, that and a lot shit from back home kind of conditioned me to it, yeah."  She looks back to the ship. "At least get the blood out of it, that just can't be healthy.  Your little helper seems pretty harmless as well."
[00:49:37] <Balthazar> "You see vorse things on college! Great-uncle told me stories from how he ripped off 'is own arm and bludgeoned a Krookodile to death vith it!"
[00:50:37] <Raven> "Or the time they set the forest on fire with the arrow."
[00:51:16] <Balthazar> "Or ze 'ghost-licking'." He shudders while saying it.
[00:51:39] : Maka starts scribbling something in her notebook again, still hiding behind Raven. "...C-can I hear some more of these stories later?"
[00:52:24] <Balthazar> "I have nice stories myself! Like from i vas 'azed on college! Man, ze fraternity 'ouse vill never be the same again..."
[00:52:54] <Raven> "Or when that Brick guy skinned the bears with his fists - Maka, we have heard enough bizzarre stories to last a life time."
[00:53:09] <Maka> "...Y-you mean Uncle Brick?"
[00:53:17] <Raven> "Huh."
[00:53:23] <Raven> Raven eyes Maka.
[00:53:59] <Maka> "I...I think he told me some of these..."
[00:54:31] <Raven> "What do you mean 'uncle Brick?' Balth, you've been here longer then me, what's she talkin' about?"
[00:54:32] <Maka> "A-about....umm...old and ugly."
[00:55:27] <Raven> "..."
[00:55:30] <Balthazar> "I... Vhat."
[00:55:40] <Balthazar> "Zis is pretty much a bizarre coincidence."
[00:55:59] <Raven> "You take that back, right now," she says, pointing at Maka.
[00:56:25] : Maka shrinks away and hides her face with her notebook. Why is everyone staring at her and being mean? D:
[00:56:46] <Balthazar> "Stop scaring her!"
[00:57:22] <Raven> "I can't deny he's old, but don't you call him- WHAT? I'm sure she's got a snarky name for your uncle too!"
[00:59:15] <Raven> "And come to think of it, that kid who won't keep his god damn shirt on has - mother of Arceus, does he have THE Medigun..."
[00:59:21] * Balthazar snarls. "I don't care anyvay."
[00:59:56] <Maka> "...I...I don't get it. I-it's just what Uncle Brick called him...I'm sorry." Maka's eyes quiver a bit, just visible above her notebook.
[01:00:35] <Balthazar> "Ze shirtless jerk, you mean? Uh, in any case, i'm sorry, miss Maka, just zat..."
[01:00:46] <Raven> Raven rubs her head. "This is...too much. Next you know the candy hammer is going to be found near town with a pancake recipie or something."
[01:00:49] <Balthazar> "Raven, you are too rude!"
[01:01:07] <Maka> "...D-do you know Uncle Brick? Candy hammer? Pancakes? What are you all talking about?!"
[01:01:29] <Raven> "Your uncle worked with our relatives."
[01:01:49] <Raven> "Out in the East, the isles, where my family comes from."
[01:02:48] <Maka> "...Oh, then..." Maka suddenly turns a bit red and her eyes widen. She shoves the notebook back into her pockets. "I-I...see."
[01:03:16] <Raven> She rubs Maka's head, "Sorry for snappin' at you, I know it wasn't youwho made that nickname."
[01:03:51] <Balthazar> "Zis island talk is too much... In any case, are you in need of something? Sis, Little Girl?"
[01:04:55] <Raven> "Naw I'll leave ya be, Terry.  Just lemee know when you finish that rocket launcher.  Cause oh, we'll blow something up, just going to be something constructive."
[01:05:15] <Balthazar> "Hee hee! Boom! Boom!"
[01:05:24] : Maka nods. "Um...I...I guess I'll have a robot. But no boom robots!"
[01:07:55] <Balthazar> "Oooh, ze shape? I just built zis one for myself!" Balth points at a small mechanical Ariados strutting around the room. Strangely enough, it has only one large eye instead of two, and it expels small clouds of steam while it walks.
[01:07:58] <Raven> "But, yes, Maka, if you want to hear about it, I'd be more and happy to discuss some of the stories we've heard.  Like the time they scared their boss with the audino bodies, or the time they got really fucked up on shrooms and fought some kinda ghost..."
[01:08:39] <Balthazar> "You can talk to me too, i have quite ze array of knowledge!"
[01:08:52] <Balthazar> "Und it vould not be bad to get books from ze library..."
[01:09:16] <Maka> "...I...think I have an idea of why you're both so crazy now..." Maka nods as if something suddenly clicked in her head.
[01:11:58] <Maka> "...C-can you make one that looks like your...alien? ...And make it a clock?"
[01:14:01] <Balthazar> "Of course! But only a clock? It can 'ave much more options!
[01:14:24] <Maka> "...R-really? I...don't know much about robots."
[01:14:48] <Balthazar> "Like a camera for photos! Radios! Calculating abilities! Self-destruction button!"
[01:15:18] <Maka> "N-n-n-no! No explosions! I live in the library...I can't blow it up."
[01:15:35] <Balthazar> "No explosions. Yeah. Right."
[01:15:58] <Raven> "...And there wasthat one time they fought off that Alcyone girl's suitors because she was madly in love with a man her parents did not approve of."
[01:16:15] <Maka> "J-just the clock for now...if it doesn't blow up, I'll ask you to add more later..."
[01:16:18] <Balthazar> "Uh, i can do by... 2000 P."
[01:16:30] <Balthazar> "Zat story vas bullshit, und you know zat."
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[01:16:40] <Balthazar> (Gabe)
[01:16:47] <Balthazar> (you just lost)
[01:16:52] <Raven> "I dunno it sounded like one of the more believable one!"
[01:17:12] <Maka> The notepad's back out again, and Maka is furiously scribbling notes.
[01:17:20] <Balthazar> "Half of zem looked like bullcrap!"
[01:17:37] <Raven> "I mean a time traveling ghost crashing down from the heavens to help them, and then running into a girl from the future, and that whole bidoof conspiracy thing you are always raving about."
[01:18:03] <Balthazar> "I had proofs about ze goddamn conspiracy!"
[01:18:43] <Maka> "I can pay 2000." Maka dumps some coins out from a bag. "Can you deliver it to the library later? ...W-without blowing it up!"
[01:18:54] <Balthazar> "Zey vere not ze alien invaders, but zey are involved with it, ask the lumberjack! He's being controlled by one of them, i swear it on all zat is sacred!"
[01:19:03] <Raven> "And come on, who actually believes that whole thing about the airship and the quagsire?"
[01:19:37] * Balthazar points at the UFO that was being piloted by something that was quite not human.
[01:19:58] <Raven> She points at the alien, "Is he a quagsire? No, I think not."
[01:20:20] <Balthazar> "Maybe... Quagsires are aliens too."
[01:21:18] <Balthazar> "It... Makes sense, on a way, eh? I should wrote it down..." He mumbles while collecting the coins. "All right, going to make ze robot! Und it vill be inflammable!"
[01:21:33] <Balthazar> "Inflammable is ze vord you use for not being on fire, eh?"
[01:22:06] <Raven> Raven thinks for a second. "That one about the sad ducklett always made me cry when I was little, poor ducklett."
[01:22:09] <Maka> "I...no, that's...okay, j-just make it not blow up..."
[01:22:34] <Balthazar> "I already said, it vill not blow up! ...I think."
[01:23:09] <Raven> "I'm honestly amazed you manage to get clock pieces to explode."
[01:23:52] <Raven> "If you could get your act together and pitch that to the military you could maybe somehow swing yourself back into one of the academies."
[01:23:55] <Balthazar> "Actually, vith ze right application of inertia..."
[01:24:29] <Balthazar> "Oh come on, vhen i finish repairing the ship they vill beg me to come back! Mwahahahahahha!"
[01:27:14] <Maka> "Y-you can fix this? I..." Maka turns to Raven and whispers. "I...worry about what he'll do with a ship if he's already blowing up his robots..."
[01:28:17] <Raven> "Maka, don't worry yourself over it; I don't intend to let him do something foolish enough to get himself killed, if I can help it."
[01:29:36] <Balthazar> <Interesting, this is the first time i actually witness human interaction.>
[01:32:37] : Maka gives a very unsure nod to Raven. "o-okay. Then...I'll come back later for the stories."
[01:32:49] <Balthazar> "Heehehehehehe, spaceship, gonna equip you vith... Lasers. And missiles. And a time machine. I vill call you Epoch und travel to the future and fight ze giant monster flea..."
[01:33:06] <Raven> "Yeah well, green guy, just be glad you landed where you did and are what we'd call a Pokemon.  People in other places wouldn't of taken very warmly to first contact."
[01:33:25] <Raven> "And what the shit are you rambling about Balthazar."
[01:34:40] <Balthazar> "NOTHING." <But you are talking about> "SHUT UP."
[01:35:01] <Maka> "...W-we're all going to die when he finishes this thing..."
[01:35:36] <Raven> "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much. He's gonna blow somethingup installing all that."
[01:37:05] <Balthazar> "Vell, i never! If you are done insulting me, you can get your butts out of my workshop!"
[01:37:41] <Balthazar> "Ze robot vill be ready by... I think still today, it's not like i have too much to do, eh? Just going to scrounge up some pieces!"
[01:37:44] <Raven> "Ooooh someone's being a grumpy guss! COME HERE AND GIVE YOUR BIG SIS A HUG!" Raven puts on a silly grin and opens her arms wide.
[01:38:11] : Maka backs away slowly, heading to the exit. You know, in case Balthazar has figured out how to make hugs explode too.
[01:38:20] <Balthazar> "S-sto-oh okay..." Balth pouts while hugging Raven.
[01:39:04] <Raven> "I'm just teasin' ya. Have fun tinkerin' with that thing...I swear all sorts of weird things happen in this small town."
[01:41:37] <Balthazar> And so, Balthazar starts working on a totally harmless not-exploding clock!
[01:41:46] <Balthazar> </session>