Virus and Trip DMMd re:connect Translation

Virus and Trip Dramatical Murder Re:connect:

Virus and Trip…
Were part of Morphine.
I learned that from their own mouths.
In addition… I heard a lot of things I hadn’t known before.
It was a huge discussion with a lot to register, and I couldn’t do all of it right away.
But as I started to understand what they were saying despair filled me.
Anger, as well.
Regarding what?
This is a farewell part for me and Toue certainly…
I stayed quiet, and these two.
Virus and Trip.
From then on…
I never realized anything.
I couldn’t believe it. Anything and everything.
I lost sight of the ground that I was standing on and became surrounded by Morphine’s members.
They kicked me a lot, my mouth filling with blood. My consciousness became muddy and lost.
The painful world around me became blurred and fuzzy.
V: He can’t take anymore?
T: Probably.
V: What should we do?
T: Hm?
V: Aoba-san.
T: Aa…
In a darkness where I couldn’t tell whether my eyes were open or closed, Virus and Trip’s voices echoed.
The tone of their voices was softer than usual but I felt like they weren’t much different from the times we’d talked in Kyuujuuminku.
Even though I was in this disheveled state, they were the same.
Thinking that… made me shiver.
Is this their true character?
They were the kind of guys who could stay calm no matter what they faced, huh.
…Shit.
I already came this far…
Was I an idiot I wonder.
I believed in these guys, and thought it was fine to continue on with normal days.
Was it wrong… for me to think that.
…
...Grandma.

…This is.
This noise is…
…The sound of a car?
When I finally open my eyes the world around me is thin and gloomy.
Something twinkles in front of me, but it’s as if I’m under water and nothing is clear.
My head hurts. It’s throbbing, and the second I start thinking something it disappears.
This is… Inside a car?
…Whose?
V: How long will it take until we reach the arranged house?
T: Hmm, maybe about one more hour.
V: Is that so.
T: At any rate, it’s been a long time since we flew.
V: Yeah. It should only take a little bit longer for Toue to realize we’re not there anymore.
T: He’s flighty about anything other than work. He must think everything is the same as usual.
T: We threatened the pilot well in advance, too. To make sure that we could make it back to Midorijima without anyone saying anything to Toue.
T: I mean, it was pretty bad to be able to steal a company jet but it’s only just a matter of time until he would realize anything anyway.
V: We already planned for that. Even if Toue realizes soon that we’ve disappeared, the thing about Morphine will be getting a lot of publicity, causing him trouble.
V: He won’t do something so troublesome as to follow us out of the country. It wouldn’t be worth it for him.
V: Besides, at the least the one we carried off was Aoba-san. Toue still has Sei-san with him.
V: The model of Sei-san’s eyes is complete. He won’t chase us too far.
T: Toue knew, too, that we wouldn’t always be under his supervision anyway.
V: Yeah. He recognized that possibility even before we did.
V: That’s why he must have hypothesized this outcome as well.
T: We already can’t return to Japan.
V: That doesn’t really matter to us, but I guess I feel a little bad for Aoba-san.
T: Even if you say that, we had no plans on returning from the beginning.
V: Basically.
…I can hear voices.
But because of the throbbing headache I can’t understand what they’re talking about.
After opening my eyes for a while, some kind of shadow clogs my vision.
V: Have you awakened, Aoba-san?
A: …
Somehow my eyes begin to focus and I can register that shadow as Virus.
That face is smiling as usual.
V: We’re going to arrive very soon.
A: …arrive?
What came out of my mouth was a blurred voice.
My lips are completely dry.
V: Yes. I’ll wake you when we arrive, so please sleep.
Sleep…?
…No I don’t care about anything like sleeping.
There are still things that I want to hear…
I can’t think well.
My eyelids become heavy against my will. My headache worsens and I become nauseous.
I don’t want to wake up.
I must have had a sleeping pill or something… My thoughts are so loose I can’t bear it and I close my eyes.
V: It must be hard since the medicine hasn’t worn off yet. It’s okay to sleep.
Something covers my eyes.
It’s cold. For a second I think it’s ice.
But this is probably…
Virus’ hand.
Cold… It’s like a doll’s hand…
But because of the medicine the sleepiness is thick like mud and won’t let me stay awake.
It might just be because his hand is cold, but it feels like needles are poking into me.
….This feeling, too, is slowly disappearing.
My consciousness slowly sinks into the expanding darkness.
No good. I mustn’t sleep.
I have to wake up…
Fast…
…
….

…1.
5.
4.
2.
1.

1.
5.
4.
2.
…2
…
….huh?
Was that right just now?
Before was…
15421?
No.
15422?
…I don’t know anymore.
I don’t know what I counted to.
Furthermore it’s near impossible to think I could count to 10000.
…I have to stop.
After that I just have to somehow count.
That’s why it might be 20000…
maybe 30000…
Well…
Whatever it is…
1.
5.
4.
2, …3?
1.
5.
4.
2….
A: ….
In this room that’s silent as death a sound echoes.
…They must have returned.
Because there’s no other noise to be heard.
Because there’s nothing to do other than to count numbers.
I can’t see anything.
I can’t move. I am literally handcuffed in place.
That’s why I can’t do anything but count.
I hear the sound of the door opening and I hear the sound of footsteps hitting hard on the floor.
There are two sounds of footsteps.
V: We’re home, Aoba-san.
T: We’re home, Aoba.
I can hear two people’s voices. My masters have returned.
I greet the two of them silently.
The cold, hard floor has gradually warmed a little due to my body heat.
…I wonder how much longer I have to spend in here.
But it’s true that I’ve counted more than 10000 numbers.
I don’t know if it’s 20000 or 30000 but.
I lost my ability to interpret time a while ago.
Even now I don’t know how long it’s been since I was taken from Platinum Jail to here.
I do what those two say, and do nothing but wait for them to come back.
…I wonder if it’s hard for caterpillars to move like they do.
Or if they can move freely squirming like that. More so than I can now.
V: It seems like Aoba-san’s gotten pretty used to it now. He’s been tied up like this when we go out for… about a month now?
T: That’s right. Probably something like that.
V: He tried to escape at first and was very violent though.
T: The place where he was bound would develop terrible wounds. Now… the wounds have basically thinned out.
Who’s is it… it’s probably Trip who comes to stoop over me and lift my arms by the handcuffs.
I can’t see but I can kind of tell where the two are by the sound. Since my world is covered, I have to rely on hearing to understand things.
I can kind of hear where everything is.
V: It’s a good sign that he’s gotten used to it.
T: Yeah. Aa, but.
Trip’s presence moves slightly.
T: It looks like he’s peed himself.
Peed myself…?
…Aa, I see.
I’ve always been lying in the same place so I couldn’t tell.
I wonder if I’m already numb to that kind of feeling.
The sense of smell too… No.
It’s just that I’ve gotten used to it.
Right now I am lying on the ground with my hands and feet bound.
My wrists and ankles are cuffed, connected by a chain so I have no choice but to lay on the ground curled up like a fetus.
That’s why I can’t even roll to stand up, and just lay here like this.
I’m just like a caterpillar.
But I’ve also gotten used to this treatment.
Actually, rather than getting used to it, it’s more like I’ve lost feeling.
If I can’t do anything about myself I just have to give up.
At first I struggled, trying to find some way to slip out but the cuffs just bore into my skin, hurting me.
Always curled up like this makes my joints scream in pain.
There are times the pain of not being able to stand nearly drives me mad.
It’s a terrible thing to be in this body of mine but not be able to control it.
It’s… something I couldn’t even have imagined before.
But, now, I can’t even cry or shout out.
I can only lay in wait like this.
I can’t feel anything.
It’s strange to think that I can’t even feel the pain in my joints anymore.
Maybe that’s why…
I didn’t feel that I’ve wet myself.
Trip’s words are like he’s saying it about someone else, that they’ve “done it again”.
Until just a while ago when I wet myself I was tormented with incredible misery and embarrassment that I wanted to cry.
I tried so hard to force myself not to cry… but I cried vexingly and cursed my fate on behalf of these wet eyes.
What did I do?
Is it because I was a designer baby created by Toue?
Is that bad? It’s not something I asked for though.
Why do I have to take this treatment.
Who should I resent? Fate, god?
Virus and Trip?
Toue?
Grandma?
Myself?
…It doesn’t matter anymore.
I just want to die already. I think that I want them to kill me.
I’ve shed painful tears like that many times before, haven’t I…
I already forgot.
Virus is the only one who’s said that people get used to their environments.
Those words were true, huh.
V: He always wets himself, it can’t be helped.
Virus’ shoes come closer and he stands next to Trip.
V: It’s normal for humans. What comes out comes out.
T: Of course.
V: Well, it might be okay to stop soon if it’s like this.
T: What?
V: Tying him up when we leave.
T: Aah. You’re right.
They’re talking in a tone as if they’re discussing what they should do about dinner.
Listening to the flittering way they talk makes me feel like, rather than me, they’re the normal ones.
I’m the only strange one, and that these guys are honest…
What’s right, what’s wrong.
I don’t even have the strength to judge that.
Or perhaps I should say it doesn’t matter.
Even if I judged that now, it wouldn’t change this situation.
Because the chance of me escaping from here is pretty close to zero.
Before, I tried to use the power of my voice against these guys.
They said that their eyes were created so that they wouldn’t suffer from the effect of Sei’s eyes.
It seems like their whole eyes were replaced.
But the only thing they tampered with were their eyes.
If that was the case I thought that my voice would work against them.
I thought that, and tried it.
…But, in the end I failed.
Virus and Trip heard my voice but nothing changed.
Why did it fail?
In the long time I’ve been tied up and neglected I’ve been thinking.
I analyzed what I could do with my power as much as I could.
Thinking of it now, maybe it was just a way to keep myself from going crazy.
Maybe it’s just how they said themselves; that Virus and Trip have no sense of greed or tenacity.
Wishes, hatred. Not much is important, objectives, goals.
An indication on how to live. They don’t have anything like that.
They said as long as it’s fun anything is fine.
That’s not normal. That’s basically…
Something must be missing in their hearts.
People, to a greater or lesser extent, hold unpleasantness in their hearts.
That’s varied into the human emotions but it ends up meaning that they will feel angry or sad in their hearts.
Through scrap I can work on things in people’s hearts…
Like if they’re caught up in their past, stubbornness, resentment, regret.
Using the power of my voice, I can enter a person’s soul.
Of course there aren’t only bad things in there, there are precious memories, and things like love packed into the regretful and sad feelings.
Scrap can attack those too. It’s not like it can only break negative things.
That’s why it’s also possible to aim at the positive things.
Basically, I can decide on whether or not I use it, and how I use it on a person.
…Even so, it wasn’t effective on Virus and Trip.
At the very least they didn’t seem to be effected by it.
After they heard my voice they said this.
Just now, that was scrap wasn’t it.
Back then I was incredibly shocked, but I basically understand it now.
Those guys are empty.
Their empty hearts only move in order to capture something enjoyable.
But no matter how much they fill it they won’t be satisfied.
There was nothing there to begin with, and it’s a bowl unwilling to accept anything more.
That’s why scrap didn’t work on them.
Because there was nothing inside of them for scrap to attack.
When I understood that I had no point but to accept my loss.
It felt just as if those two were dolls.
Scrap won’t work on dolls. There’s nothing I can do.
I have no choice but to give up.
V: Sorry for giving you painful memories, Aoba-san. Are you okay?
Virus’ voice echoes, though it doesn’t sound like he really cares.
V: But for those who use violence freely this will have a tremendous effect on them.
T: “Left alone play,” leaving you so you can’t move at all.
V: I don’t want to give Aoba-san any unnecessary wounds so violence is a no go. That’s why it ends up like this.
Virus stops talking and something touches my hair.
Virus is stroking my hair. A faint stimulus runs through me, and I move my body just a little.
V: Of course you would end up having to go to the bathroom in this kind of situation so we have no choice but to clean you up.
V: But Aoba-san, you don’t really like it, do you? No matter how much it can’t be helped, for an adult like yourself to wet yourself.
V: If you’re normal you would definitely resist it, I think. I think you would definitely hate it.
V: Even so you had no choice so you wet yourself. Because it’s your body’s natural act.
V: Having said that, you can’t do that so obediently, right? You’re humiliated. So miserable that you want to cry.
His voice is close.
The way he’s talking is as kind as usual, like he’s talking to a child.
But, it’s on purpose. What he’s saying is the furthest thing from kindness.
He’s explaining the situation I don’t want to think about, making me realize the reality that I can only see dimly from my slitted eyes.
Once… when I wasn’t yet used to this situation his words would make me feel terrible.
This must also be part of his scheme. To take away my free will…
T: Well, we don’t really care about anything that comes out of Aoba.
V: Right, I have no interest. But, at the very least we, towards Aoba-san, right?
Virus’ hand stoking my hair stops and his voice separates from me, going closer to Trip.
They return to talk about the usual things.
V: Like this, no matter how much pride he has, it can be easily stripped away by repeatedly causing his mind grief.
V: I mean, Aoba-san surely won’t think of escaping now, right?
A: …
T: He doesn’t have the stamina or will power to go against us. It’s a lot easier to just listen to what we say obediently, right Aoba?
V: Agreed.
V: Aoba-san gave up when he was caught by us. You understood what our plan was at that time.
T: We thought that is Aoba didn’t give up we would leave you, but that didn’t happen.
T: It seemed like you wanted us to catch you because you were so weak, that’s how we saw it.
I heard their voices, always, as if they were falling on me from above.
Distant, far away… so that I’m unable to reach them.
It’s like they’re saying that while I’m here I can never reach where they are…
V: It’s not like we ever really pledged our allegiance to Toue
V: We saw it as a chance to finally get our hands on our precious Aoba-san, there was no other reason really for us to be there after that.
T: The Aoba we admired was in front of us.
V: That’s right. Then, we should go to the bathroom soon. We’ll wash you.
A: …
Virus or Trip or maybe both of them undo my handcuffs and pick me up from my back.
Prompted by that movement, I slowly stand.
I hear a strange sound and it feels like my thin skin is peeling from the ground I was on for so long.
That part of my body is lukewarm and wet, and due to gravity the wetness is dripping down my body.
….Ahh.
It’s my own piss soaking my body from me laying on the floor.
I don’t think it’s dirty or that I hate it anymore.
Because I’m basically like this every day, my legs shake as I walk.
My joints are stiff.
As I stumble, supported at each side, I’m taken to the bathroom.

With the help of Virus and Trip I sit into the shallow, warm water.
My feet and arms are free, but my blindfold is still on.
After a little bit water from the shower above rains down on me.
The blindfold sticks to my eyes, damp with the water.
It seems like the wounds from when I acted violently have mostly healed; it doesn’t really hurt when the hot water touches them.
Or maybe it’s just that I can’t feel anything anymore.
V: Today I will wash your hair.
T: Then I’ll do the body.
The two voices echo in the bathroom and I hear rustling sounds.
In the meantime I sit blankly under the shower until I feel a sharp stimulus run through my hair.
A: …
Virus handles my hair politely.
Even so I guess when people touch it I still feel a stimulus.
A: …u….
I hold my breath, and clench my teeth.
Virus rubs shampoo into my scalp with his fingertips and my hair becomes all rustled together.
As he does so a pain similar to itchiness runs through my hair and without thinking I grab the edges of the bathtub.
I hear the sound of the water falling.
V: Aoba-san, it must be difficult for you to have feeling in your hair. I suppose I have to wash it gently.
I hear Virus’ voice from behind me.
A: Fu… …
T: But the shuddering Aoba is kinda cute.
Trip takes my legs and starts washing them with something like a sponge.
V: Sei-san had feeling in his hair before too, but it seems like he doesn’t at all anymore.
V: Even though I say that, as soon as Sei-san was born he became the subject of experiments, so he must not have had the opportunity to say whether is hurt or not.
Sei…
The lifeless, pale, almost transparent face floats in front of me in my mind.
…I wanted to save him.
T: By the time we met Sei he was already like a doll after all. Rather like he was already dead.
V: Yeah.
These two…
Before they even knew about me they knew Sei.
I don’t know how much longer before but…
I wonder if Sei was always like that.
That even though he was alive, living like he was dead.
Sei…
A: …
As soon as I think of Sei I feel anger and bitterness abruptly whirl in my chest.
That reaction reminds me that I’m not dead yet and surprises me.
When I remember Sei as I knew him the feelings grow stronger.
If I had known about him sooner I may have been able to save him.
When I was thinking about how I wanted to live peacefully with Grandma, too, Sei was always suffering.
There were tubes and machines running through his body collecting data.
He was suffering even more than I am now, and he knew that no one would come to save him.
Even if he wanted to die he couldn’t.
He struggled all alone in that situation…
And without wishing for anything.
Help wouldn’t come. The people surrounding him were just there for their own experiments so his cries wouldn’t reach them either.
No one treated him like a human.
His heart was trampled on many times, he was treated worse than death, and the thing he decided in the end…
was to do nothing.
If he thought or felt anything he would be in pain instantly.
That’s why he thought nothing. Saw nothing.
If he acted as the people around him wanted him to, he wouldn’t feel any pain.
His heart became nonexistent.
Surely that was Sei’s answer.
…Even now I know.
Because that’s how I would do it.
Don’t think anything. Don’t feel anything. Because if you do it will destroy you someday.
Even if doing that your own self becomes completely crushed down away, it might just be instinctual.
Even so…
I know Sei’s feelings so well it hurts.
Sei…
V: Oh, Aoba-san. What’s the matter? Your nails are digging into the bathtub.
They must be interested in my actions. Their hands stop.
T: Hahaa, maybe… it’s because you remembered Sei?
A: ….
A: ….Sei is….
It’s been a while since I’ve spoken and my voice is so strained it doesn’t even sound like mine.
V: What’s happened with Sei-san?
A: …Sei is… right now…
As I say it my nails dig hard into the bathtub.
To ask something of these two myself… is more humiliating then the cruel treatment I have to endure.
But…
I wonder if Sei is safe right now. I wonder if he’s living properly.
That’s all I wanted to know.
At the same time I wonder why I want to know so much about Sei.
When I’m reminded of Sei, I think of him so deeply it’s like a craving.
The source of that is probably… to escape from reality and guilt.
It’s not just that I couldn’t save Sei, it’s that I also was put in such a desperate situation.
I can’t escape from here. Instead of that I…
I can guess how Sei felt in his situation, the pain and despair, and the sympathy has piled up.
But right now Sei must be suffering a lot more than I am.
That’s why right now I’m still in a better position.
Thinking like that the pain I’m suffering right now lessens a little.
Like that I understood why Sei escaped from reality and I realized how to do it myself…
That’s why feelings of repentance pile up for Sei.
Thinking of Sei the feelings of guilt grow stronger.
…I’m the worst.
T: Sei? You want to know about Sei?
T: Hee… It’s rare for Aoba to ask something from us. I guess you’re interested in your older twin brother after all.
V: Seems so.
Just as I thought it seems like their voices are glowing brightly cause they’re having fun.
…I knew this was going to happen. I didn’t want it to.
I don’t want them to enjoy themselves any more.
I just want them to hurry and get tired of me.
If they do then surely they’ll throw me out as a toy they’re no longer interested in.
I don’t know what method they will use, but at any rate… they’ll probably kill me.
I want that to happen as much I can hope for it but when I think of Sei I immediately stop thinking that.
Like a flame wearing out inside of me, the feeling wavers largely inside.
V: Aoba-san. Regarding Sei-san, we want to give you the best information we can, of course, but unfortunately we don’t know whether he’s alive or not.
V: At any rate, we won’t return to Midorijima… no Japan anymore.
T: We may be able to look into it, but not right away.
V: Yes. However, it wasn’t like we were that close to Sei-san anyway.
V: Even if you say we were in charge of him, it was more like an observing role.
T: Like we were body guards. Everyone else around was just researchers after all.
V: Well, when we asked about Sei-san’s powers we were relatively surprised.
V: I remember thinking he was like a god or a wizard. And he wasn’t artificial, it was natural.
T: But from the beginning Sei was with Toue. It was that kind of situation. We thought he was amazing, but it’s not like we had much more interest in him than that.
V: Right right, he was basically like a prize beyond one’s reach.
Saying these words with almost no feeling in them, Virus starts washing my hair again.
When he does a pain like someone is poking me with a needle runs through me.
A: …!
V: Ah, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Your hair got twined around my finger and I ended up pulling on it.
T: Aoba, lift your leg here. …Like that.
Trip also starts washing my body again.
As I bear the throbbing pain in my hair, I move my leg like Trip told me to.
T: Because we knew about Sei’s power, we were also really surprised when we learned about Aoba’s.
V: It was like, there’s another person like Sei-san with such an amazing power? And to think that they were twines, it was unheard of.
V:  I never really believed in fortunes or that kind of thing but as one would expect, they couldn’t enter one’s consciousness.
T: The Aoba we first met was incredibly cool.
V: Aoba-san from that time was so rough you wouldn’t think he was the same person now.
V: He was quick to fight and into drugs and alcohol, and he played with girls.
V: But it did seem like he wouldn’t commit murder or lose reason, or cross lines like that.
A: …
I don’t remember the past too clearly.
But, in the long time that I’ve been with these two, memories of the past have started to resurface.
I can remember what happened in the past much more than I could before.
Since my parents left Midorijima…
I became unstable little by little.
I lost the things that would make me laugh and make me cry until then.
I understood the reason and that something was strange, but even I didn’t notice that there was darkness spreading inside of me…
And then one day years later. The equilibrium inside myself suddenly broke.
It was so abrupt, like the path had changed under my feet making me fall off a cliff.
Suddenly I wasn’t nervous about anything and even the people around me, like Grandma, noticed my instability.
I was frightened by some unidentifiable dread and the days where I closed myself up in my room continued.
Grandma would come check up on me, worried, and when she knocked on my locked door I would shake.
I heart the knocks like they were footsteps chasing after me…
I would hide under my blankets and wish for them to disappear, that was all.
That situation continued, and I got weaker and weaker.
I only left my room to go to the bathroom, I lost the strength to even eat and drink as I stayed in my bed.
I thought as I stared up blankly at the ceiling.
That it doesn’t matter anymore.
I was tired of getting scared about something or worrying about things.
I didn’t know why I became so anxious and didn’t know why everything was frightening.
But, that didn’t matter. I was tired of thinking.
It didn’t matter whether I lived or died.
But I would have to work if I were to die then.
That was troublesome. If that was the case…
I wanted to give myself over to the flow of not caring.
Without doing much, I just wanted to find the best way to have fun with the people I knew.
We gathered in alleyways and were the type of guys to just live our days dilly dallying there.
I was living up until then so I wouldn’t be influenced by them but they knew ways to have fun even in their depravity.
That’s why I never had anything to do with them.
Up until then I lived completely differently….
And I thought that it may be okay to actually try the way they lived.
I thought that nothing mattered to me anymore and decided to join one of their groups.
Maybe I had become to scorn myself.
I tried to live in depravity like them. I barely returned home.
And yet it was hard for me to give up the rules I had made for myself.
I thought that I must have thought it was troublesome and unlike me from the beginning.
Even so there wasn’t much that I did that was fun.
It was always a somehow empty feeling, like there was a filter into my emotions.
But there was potential so I did what I had to do.
Then I…
had an accident, no… an accident happened.
I broke the mind of my Rhyme opponent and made them a cripple.
At that time I didn’t know consciously that I had used scrap.
But I kind of noticed that there was some kind of power within me.
I must have thought it was dangerous for me to use that power, and tried to hold control over it.
Embracing depravity, I thought I was different from other people.
I had used my power before then, but hadn’t gone as far as to break those people.
That’s why I first realized it… when I destroyed someone beyond repair.
I did something unthinkable.
You can become crippled due to Rhyme.
I knew that already, and I actually knew a guy who that had happened to.
But, I thought it was other people’s talk… I thought it was really grave that I could, in fact, cause someone to be like that.
It was like my blood left my body all at once, and I became unconscious…
When I awakened I was in a hospital bed.
Why am I in a hospital? In the first place, what happened?
I was in chaos; I didn’t remember anything that had happened.
My memories are still vague about what happened at this part.
Grandma said that “you were involved with a fight and lost consciousness, and the police said that you have temporary amnesia about the events.”
That’s why I probably started thinking that that was what actually happened.
But that wasn’t actually true.
I lost consciousness because I fought Rhyme with someone and made them into a cripple. The memories up until that point had disappeared as well.
I don’t remember Grandma saying that “I also used scrap on the nurse”.
After that I was released and returned to daily life.
But, the south district that I had always lived in was not familiar to me anymore.
It was because the memories had left me and I somehow felt diminished.
I didn’t want to do Rhyme, nor did I want to get involved with people. I didn’t want to return home.
There were times I blew up into fights because of how I lived before I forgot everything, but not like how I had before.
Something had changed within me.
But I didn’t know what.
What did I forget? What happened in the memories I forgot?
I lived gloomily while thinking that.
It was around then that I met Mizuki.
He had seen me blow up around people and invited me to join his Rib team.
I denied his request, but Mizuki and I seemed to get along so we spent our days together.
As the days passed like that I started to have an opportunity to change, until something happened.
It was because something similar to what happened in Rhyme happened, I picked a fight with 10 people.
I tried to be very mature through all of it, but those guys really angered me, they enraged me, and I ended up leaving them half killed.
The light that was about to disappear suddenly flared up and exploded.
It may have built up over the days when I was trying to be calm.
But no matter how violently I acted, the feeling didn’t go away.
Everything irritated me, nothing changed.
Self-hatred, regret, anger, irritation.
I carried those feelings at the maximum level, I was forcibly taken into police headquarters, and then forced to go home.
I hadn’t returned home for many days and I hadn’t met Grandma either.
I didn’t want to see her face.
It wasn’t because of unpleasant feelings, but more like because of guilt.
But at that time it was like everything had been stripped from me and I had no strength left to fight back, so I went along easily home.
Grandma, from getting the call from the police, was waiting at the dining room table.
I didn’t say anything and passed through the living room and went right upstairs.
…I saw it at that time.
Grandma’s back, sitting at the table alone.
It was like I was paralyzed for a moment; I couldn’t look away.
If I looked closely at that small frame, I could see that she was shaking…
Grandma was crying.
That day was, unexpectedly, my 20th birthday. I had completely forgotten.
Maybe she was worrying about me, or maybe she felt my fecklessness and my bitterness.
I don’t know which it was but…
anyway, Grandma was crying.
When I realized that, I felt a sudden shock as though I had been hit.
I had thought that nothing mattered, I did whatever I wanted.
To think that Grandma was this worried about me…
I probably should have noticed before, but it wasn’t until then that I finally realized just how much of an idiot I had been.
Grandma had been calling out to me all that time but for some reason that silent, crying figure pierced me right through the heart.
This might have been the first time I saw the weak part of my stubborn grandmother.
Grandma is… She’s called Grandma because she’s older than my parents, weaker, thinner…
and this small.
I let that grandmother worry while I thought of nothing but myself…
seriously, what was I doing.
I thought that Grandma must have been better off without me.
But I was wrong.
If that were true I’m sure she wouldn’t have been crying like that.
I… did something terrible.
This small person had always been thinking about me.
I held back and I went to my room and cried alone.
I cried tears for all the faults I had done up until that point, I cried with my face pressed into my bed until it was like I couldn’t open my eyes anymore…
The next morning I apologized to Grandma.
I apologized for everything up until then and swore I would do things right from then on.
Grandma glared at me with a grimace like she hadn’t even been crying the day before, let out a small sigh, and gave me a small smile.
Then…
she said “I know.”
Grandma seemed exhausted at that time, and I saw her just as small as she had been the day before, and I decided to never cause her trouble or worry again.
I thought that was natural after being protected by Grandma for this long.
But, I thought that since now I was bigger than Gandma I had to be the one to protect her.
That happened, and I completely changed my life of depravity.
…Grandma.
I want to see Grandma…
V: I’m going to rinse you now.
A: …
Virus’ voice brings me back to reality.
V: Trip. Lift Aoba-san’s arm a little.
T: Like this?
V: Yup. The other arm, too.
T: Yes yes.
T: When Aoba still did Rhyme, there was no Usui was there? I think she was in an experimental stage.
V: Right. At that time we had to participate in a lot of Rhyme fights to get more data on it.
As if they didn’t care whether I was listening or not, the two of them carried on their previous conversation.
V: Morphine was still in the middle of expanding, and Rhyme was in the state of being a free amateur game without Usui.
V: This was before Rhyme was popular, and way before Morphine could have done anything, and it was the foundation for Toue to artificially be able to manipulate people’s hearts….
V: He was collecting children with aptitude.
V: Trip and I were in that collection.
Sei and I were certainly born as designer babies for that reason as well.
But, I didn’t know that Virus and Trip were children collected by Toue.
This means that they were victims of Toue.
Other than thinking they received any damage…
It’s what Trip said before, for them to help expand Morphine.
This must be the rumor that was going around Kyuujuuminku, the “spiriting away.”
I understand now.
Morphine was on the move when the spiriting away rumor was going around.
V: In the past he took kids who had aptitude at playing Rhyme but
V: When Ribsteze appeared he changed his point of view a little.
V: Recently, people opposing Rhyme to play Rib have appeared right?
V: It was easier to manipulate people who would lose their reason in a second.
T: It was also convenient to create teams to be able to test a bunch of people at once.
A: …
Mizuki was also there… In Dry Juice.
I grip the tub strongly again and as though he’s playing dumb or doing it on purpose, Virus speaks again.
V: Speaking of which, the team we recently took, Dry Juice, was one of Aoba-san’s friend’s teams, wasn’t it.
V: The members all basically failed but as expected of the head, we had some trouble with Mizuki-san.

M: Shit…! This is different from what you said!!
M: It was supposed to be that we become a part of Morphine!
V: Right. That’s exactly it.
M: If that’s the case, then release my teammates! Where are you taking them?
T: Aah, about now they should already be jumping.
M: …ha…?
V: Your teammates have already been disposed of. We already tampered inside their heads.
V: They acted a little violently but, they were the easiest to dispose of. And easy to carry.
T: And to leave a bloodstain would be different from what Morphine usually does, right?
T: What was it… shadowing away?
V: It’s spiriting away.
T: Yeah, that.
M: … …You… what, are you saying…
T: As expected of the head, though. You woke up right away, you didn’t fall so easily to being disposed of.
T: That’s why we took you all the way here.
V: It’s alright. You don’t have to worry so much, Dry Juice will surely become a part of Morphine.
V: As a doll who’s lost it’s will. You’ll pledge to Morphine, and work for us in a convenient coma.
M: Shit…!
T: It’s impossible to try to remember what we’re talking about right now. We’ll erase it later anyway.
V: Is there anything you want to say at the end? Well, even if I say that it’s not like you’re dying.
T: Like, a message for someone?
V: Right. Like for your friend Aoba-san.
M: !
M: …
M: Like there’s anything like that, you shit head! Aoba isn’t involved at all!
M: Don’t involve anyone else around me. I definitely won’t forgive you if you do!!
V: Haha, I’m scared, so scared. If you’re that enthusiastic about it I’ll have to put you into an especially good coma.
T: I wonder? He might be unexpectedly fragile.
V: Even so the other members moved a lot. Well, if it’s impossible it’ll be at that time. There are a lot of substitutes.
M: Ku….
V: Come, you’re the only one left.
V: Then shall we go. To where your friends are.
M: ….
M: …Dammit… everyone, I’m sorry…
M: …. Sorry…

T: Well, it seemed like he fell apart because of Aoba’s scrap.
V: Yes. Aoba-san is really amazing.
V: Well, recently for that reason there was more of a focus on Rib rather than Rhyme but
V: Rhyme was done with quality rather than numbers, and we had a lot of runaways.
V: Without rules, Rhyme was rather lawless too though. Even with the runaways we always got good data from those who participated.
V: That is, Aoba-san, you.
T: At first we just watched thinking that you were an interesting guy.
T: When we actually saw Aoba participate in Rhyme, we were surprised.
V: To think that there was another person out there like Sei-san, right?
V: But it seemed like Aoba-san was using his powers unconsciously. The data was rather uneven.
V: In reality, it was like that, right?
A: …
Certainly, the me at that time knew nothing about what my power was or what it meant.
Somehow I just knew my opponents weakened on the Rhyme field.
I thought everyone was like that, and I didn’t know until afterwards that it was only me who saw things that way.
I was under the illusion, at that time, that I was some kind of awesome person.
Even though I really should not have used that power.
I was wrapped up in thinking that I was the only special one, I got cocky, and then…
I broke… my opponent.
T: There was a high chance that Toue hadn’t noticed that this person had no self-awareness.
T: That’s why we had to collect all of Aoba’s data.
V: I mean, Toue already had someone like Sei-san to look after.
V: Well, we thought that it would be inevitable that he found out.
T: After that we checked on Aoba after he stopped participating in Rhyme and looked forward to the day when we could meet him.
V: Right right. When we first called out to Aoba-san it was intense.

Guy: Aoba, just kill that kind of guy.
A: I don’t want to, it’s troublesome.
A: If he died my efforts would have gone to naught. It’s fine to just leave him half dead.
Guy: Then let me do it in your steed. …Die!
Guy: Hehe, you got conceited just cause you did a little well at Rhyme.
Guy: If we were hit by your thin arm it wouldn’t hurt at all. Aren’t you just passing by cheating like a bug?
Guy: Shut up.
Guy: Is someone who does the red stuff here? I heard that they replenished their stock. Aoba?
A: I don’t need it.
V: Uhm, everyone. Sorry to bother you while you’re in the middle of something. Do you have a minute?
T: Hey, oi. We’re telling you to stop for a bit.
Guy: ..Aaa. We’re just getting to the good point, I’d rather you not interrupt.
V: Even if you say that. It’s troublesome for us for you guys to fight like this around here.
T: Right right.
Guy: Haa? With what authority are you saying that??
V: Well, someone requested us to but, for the time being we’ll have to tie this place down.
Guy: What the hell, you’re just hoodlums.
V: That’s exactly it.
V: But no matter what you say we’re going to tie this place down so please, everyone, break up soon.
Guy: Tch
Guy: You’re so troublesome. Hey, let’s go. Aoba, too.
A: Sure.
V: …Ah, wait a second. You, there.
V: Could just you wait for a little bit? You others are fine. Please leave.
A: …Ha? Me?
V: That’s right. Sorry for the suddenness. I just want to talk to you for a minute.
A: …
V: First please let me introduce myself. I’m Virus. This is Trip.
T: Pleasure
A: What the hell are you guys. Looking like that. Are you twins?
V&T: We’re not twins.
A: …Are you messing with me?
V: Nono, we’re not joking around or anything.
A: Then what the hell is it?
V: We’ve been doing a little bit of an investigation lately but you’re not only strong with Rhyme, but fighting too it seems.
V: The guy you just beat up, if you had hit him a little more he would have died.
A: …
A: I didn’t really intend to kill him. It’s troublesome.
T: As expected. Your Rhyme name is Sly Blue?
A: … You guys, are you attacking me under the guise of Rhyme? Just say what you want to say.
T: It’s nothing like that. You were really famous when you were Sly Blue in Rhyme. You never lost.
V: We’re your fans. Aoba Seragaki-san.
A: …
V: Please don’t glare at us with those eyes. There is no ill will in our words. We’re truly your fans.
T: That’s right. It seemed like you were having a lot of fun in Rhyme and you never went easy on anyone. You were really cool.
A: …That’s shit.
V: It’s worthless?
A: Aah. Rhyme and everything is useless. Everything I do is the same, nothing’s different.
V: But you always participated in Rhyme. Was it not fun?
A: It’s not like I actually enjoyed Rhyme.
T: Then what?
A: To be able to “knock down” people in Rhyme of course.
T: If that’s the case, then fighting, and not just Rhyme, is fine then?
A: It’s completely different. You can’t win unless you physically beat them into the ground. But, Rhyme is different.
A: You’re nakedly butting your will against someone else’s and if you make one mistake you become a cripple right away.
A: That risky, fragile simple game? There’s nothing else like it.
A: There’s much more of a thrill in it than fighting.
V: …fufu. You’ve definitely realized exactly what kind of game Rhyme is, haven’t you.
V: But isn’t there the same risk of you becoming a cripple? If that happens I’m sure there is no thrill or anything in it.
A: It won’t happen. … Because I know.
T: You know?
V: What is it?
A: …
R: Aoba, the next game will start soon.
A: Aah, who’s next again?
R: It’s an opponent you’ve fought three times now.
A: He’s challenging me again, he’s persistent. I should crush him soon.
R: It’s better not to overdo it.
A: I know that.
V: Aoba-san
A: …You still have something to say?
V: It’s better not to scatter yourself too much when you play. I think it’s good to focus on your opponents face as much as possible.
A: Ha? Even if you say that I already know…
T: If you do that, you’ll know even more clearly than before.
V: Rhyme has a weak point that’s rather general. If you want to give your opponent a wound that they can’t even touch… I think you’ll understand it more.
A: …
A: …What the hell are you guys.
T: We’re just fans.
V: We’re just fans, Aoba-san.

…I can only just barely remember the time when I first met those two.
It’s because of the fact that those memories are vague, and because it’s been such a long time since then.
Now…
…
I hang my somewhat heavy head, and my hair is pulled strongly.
A: …A! Tsuu…!
The pain warps my expression. From behind Virus grabs my chin and lifts my head up.
But because of the blindfold I don’t know what Virus looks like right now.
I don’t know what kind of expression Virus is wearing right now.
I don’t know… What he’s going to do.
…At that time, a cold sense of dread runs through me.
…I’m scared.
Scared.
I’m scared. Scared. Scared.
V: Do it properly, Aoba-san. We have to wash the soap off you know.
He says the words differently, with much more coldness than before.
With just that… my body is spurred into fits of shakes.
A: U aaA… aaAA AAAAA!!
The inside of my head becomes white and for the time being…
I want to escape.
I’m scared.
I want to escape.
I want to escape…!
A: AAAAAA…!!
The water splashes all around and my hands flail around the tub.
I try to stand, but my shoulders and legs are held down and I can’t move.
On the other hand, I realize that I can still feel this much fear and dread.
…My feelings aren’t completely gone.
I thought I was paralyzed or something but I was wrong.
I can’t be killed that easily.
I can’t become a doll that easily.
If I’m poked even this much, feelings like this fear and dread can overflow.
It’s not so easy to suppress my emotions.
…Sei.
A: UAAAAaaAA!!
V: Trip.
T: Yep.
Trip holds my body down as though it’s a normal thing to do.
T: Aoba, be quiet.
A: AAAAaaa…!!!
With me acting out like this Trip puts a hand over my mouth.
He holds my chin and with two fingers. Without hesitating he pushes them into my mouth.
A: Gu….!
Thick fingers hold my tongue down and press it far backwards.
I feel the sharp feeling of skin hitting the back of my throat.
A: U…! Ge… Ugu geho… oe….
I vomit immediately, and I spit the bitter and sour liquid up into the bathtub.
There’s nothing in my stomach so just gastric juices come out.
It still hurts. Tears prick my eyes.
V: There there, Aoba-san.
The two voices with too much reason echo in the bathroom.
A: A haa… ….
Because I’ve thrown up I’ve stopped struggling and Trip takes his fingers from my mouth.
V: You did well.
I hear Virus’ voice as though he’s praising me for being mature about it.
V: The water has gotten dirty. Let’s wash your body with the shower.
A: Haa… u…
T: Stand, Aoba.
With their help, I stagger into a standing position.
The shower once again rains down on me and they start to rinse me off.
T: We thought the Aoba in the past was cool and we loved him but we love the Aoba now, too.
V: Yes, we love the Aoba-san, who even though you’re a human, has passed the line of being a human.
V: That’s why we won’t come to hate you even a little.
T: That’s right. We love you, Aoba.
A: …
They repeat the same lines day after day. The same words.
Love. Love. Love.
They don’t have feelings like that.
After they wash my body with the shower they take me out of the bath.

Once I’m out of the bath the two of them dry my hair and body.
As if they would feel sorry for my pain they never use the drier.
But they still won’t take off the blindfold.
I don’t know when they will. When they feel like it.
The wet cloth feels gross on my eyes but I don’t say anything.
There are still trails of fear left and I’m shivering in the wake of those two.
I’m always full of tension when they’re touching me.
I don’t know how many times I’ve had to embrace that disappointing self.
It’s not like I’ve gotten used to giving my heart to those two.
It’s just that it’s easier for me to be obedient with them.
I haven’t gotten used to it, and I’m not paralyzed.
My heart is defying me.
For me to become so frightened by just a little change in them…
Makes me just like a slave.
V: You’ve become pretty, Aoba-san. We’ve cleaned up the place you wet yourself as well.
V: Now it’s just which room you will enter.
V: Aoba-san please choose.
Following Virus’ words, I can feel Trip take my hand gently.
T: Aoba, between your right and left hand, which do you want?
T: Stretch out your hand and choose.

CHOICE:
1)	Right hand
2)	Left hand

1) Right hand:
Because of the blindfold I reached out my right hand blindly, unable to see anything.
What hand will my fingers touch. I hear a softly laughing voice.
V: Fufu Aoba-san. Thank you very much for choosing me.
It’s seems like the one I chose…
Was Virus’ hand.
T: What, too bad.
I hear Trip’s cold voice, as though he feels nothing is important to him.
V: Then, Trip will be leaving for us.
T: Yeah yeah.
V: Tomorrow. Baibai.
T: Baibai.
They do the usual greeting, and I can hear Trip’s footsteps getting further away.
The sound of the door closing follows.
V: Aoba-san, this way.
After Trip is gone, Virus takes my hand and leads me somewhere.
This is Virus’ room so we should already be inside the room tough…
A: …
He take his hand from mine after a few steps and presses down on my shoulders.
I fall forward onto something right in front of me and I reach out a hand. I touch something soft.
This feeling, a bed?
V: Please lift yourself up there.
I can hear Virus’ voice from behind me.
I do as I’m told and clamber onto the bed with my knees. The good quality springs only creak slightly beneath me.
Something… is going to happen from now on. I can’t hold back my anxiety.
I can’t see anything so my whole body is on edge, waiting for Virus’ actions, making all my senses sharp.
Until now Virus and Trip have done things thoroughly.
They have a lot of things that they can think of doing.
That’s why they never do the same thing. I never know what they’re going to do each time.
The time for them to embrace me normally is over and there are times when they give me a lot of pain.
Today what is he going to do…
Just thinking it makes my whole body stiffen and sweat starts to form on the palms of my hands.
V: Helsher (Herusha but in English closer to Helsher or maybe Helther), come here.
Virus calls out a name. The second I hear that my body stiffens.
What I’m feeling is terror.
I hear the sound of something snaking along the sheets and near my hips I can feel coldness passing next to me.
A: …
I’m about to let my voice out but I swallow it.
Helsher.
What Virus called was his all-mate’s name.
His all-mate the big snake.
I think the thickest part of its body must be near my arm at this point.
Because I can’t see, my other senses are completely on edge…
Scale by scale brushes against me and I can completely feel the smoothness of its body, giving me goose bumps.
V: Aoba-san, it seems like you just can’t get used to him. Do you dislike snakes?
Virus’ voice is mixed with laughter and I can hear something like the sound of him unfastening a cloth. He must be taking off his neck tie.
As he does the snake crawls over my body and his tail curls around my knee.
The thin, split tongue flicks over my belly.
A: …
V: Fuu
I hear Virus’ sigh and the sound of him coming closer.
V: I’ll tell you truthfully, I’m a little tired today. Work was busy.
V: The reason why I’m saying this is because I have a favor to ask of you, Aoba-san. Is that okay?
There’s no okay or not. I don’t have answers or a choice.
I don’t know what horrible things would happen to me if I did answer.
They have disciplined my body so that I can no longer act out against them.
That’s why I can’t go against them.
Virus touches my head. I hear a ruffling sound and the thing suppressing my vision disappears.
A: …..
Finally the blindfold is gone. I look around at my sparkling surroundings.
Virus is right in front of me. In the dim room.
There isn’t much light in the room so when he takes off the blindfold my eyes don’t really hurt from the light.
This is the room where I can only remember bad things happening.
V: You must finally feel refreshed. It’s not really entertaining for me to do things with you when I can’t see your eyes, Aoba-san.
Virus’ smile glows in the gloomy room and I have to hold back the urge to move backwards.
When I see this guy’s smile a complete sense of coldness washes over me.
From the depths of myself… it makes me shudder.
Virus, all smiles, sits on the edge of the bed and reaches out an arm towards me.
I don’t know what he’s doing and I turn backwards a little to look behind me.
The outstretched hand strokes my chest with one finger.
In order to go towards its master, the snake that’s completely wrapped around me from my thighs to my shoulders slides down my body.
Virus looks at me, his eyes smiling like he’s a kid enjoying some game, and strokes his finger from my chest to my belly before removing it.
V: I’m going to sit on the sofa over there and drink some wine first. Aoba-san, will you prepare yourself for me first?
A: Eh…?
Prepare?
What kind…
V: Please do it thoroughly on your own. So that I can see.
A: …!
He means prepare in that way…
That’s something he’s forced upon me many times up until now.
He says it so ordinarily that I didn’t recognize it right away.
The fact that I realize what he means doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to do it.
But, there is hidden pressure in Virus’ voice.
It’s an order that I must obey silently. That’s why… I can’t disobey him.
I don’t know what will happen if I do.
Right now I have no choice but to bite down on my embarrassment and humiliation and obey him...
After looking at me to make sure I completely understand him, he walks over and sits on the couch.
He crosses his legs and with a graceful movement he takes the wine bottle from the table and pours it into his glass.
I watch his movements in bewilderment from the bed.
I have to do it. This is an order. I know that.
But…
No matter how much I do it I can’t get used to it. I hate it.
To touch myself… while someone is watching me.
This guy has tried to push all resistance down deep inside of me.
I thought that the urge to resist was already crushed but to think that the feelings are resurfacing now means that I must have more pride left than I thought.
My feelings are a mess, wanting to oppose him, but having no choice but to do as he says.
But, even so… It’s impossible for me to oppose.
The last time I opposed him Virus took me to the bathroom.
In the corner of the bathroom was a small, thin iron box, and Virus forced me into it.
And he left me in the bathroom like that.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. It was small.
I thought he might leave me there forever.
No matter how much I cried or called out, it didn’t seem like he would let me out again.
Until I died…
Maybe I would die.
Maybe Virus would dispose of my remains with this box.
I became half-crazed, those thoughts running through my head over and over closed up in that box.
I hit it, I struggled, and all I got from it was the cold iron.
That noise filing the whole box was annoying. It hurt.
It was unpleasant to hear my crying voice coming back at me.
I couldn’t get out on my own.
I couldn’t get out without help.
I couldn’t do anything there on my own.
It’s impossible.
I want to get out.
I want to get out of here.
Hurry…
I want to get out of here fast.
Hurry…!
I’ll do what you say.
I’ll do anything.
I won’t oppose you anymore.
That’s why, that’s why…!
…Then, I wonder how much time passed.
After I lost the strength to even cry, Virus finally opened the box.
He peered at me in that box and then said to me with his normal smile.
“Have you learned?”
3 days had passed since I’d been put in the box.
…Thinking that he would do something similar if I opposed him I became scared and lost my will to fight back.
Virus hadn’t hurt my body to any more point than that.
V: I wouldn’t wound my precious Aoba-san’s body.
V: Just by tying someone up you can take away plenty of their freedom.
V: Moreso, I don’t like violence. Isn’t it too easy to get what you want through violence?
V: Well, there are times of course when I want to finish things quickly.
V: I would only do it if it was inevitable. I don’t like it in the end.
V: That’s why I won’t do those things to Aoba-san.
V: Because there are many other ways to do it, right?
Virus said at smiling.
A: …
Since I’m scared to act against him, I have to do as he says.
I flatten my pride deep inside of myself to the point where it’s nearly extinguished, and I clench my jaw and raise my body.
I move back a little with both arms and I lean against the pillows behind me.
So that… Virus can see.
I lift my knees and open my legs a little and I hatefully reach my hand down to my soft cock.
V: Aoba-san, it’s hard for me to see like that. Can you please open your legs a little more?
A: …
Virus orders me with his usual voice.
I’m so embarrassed I want to die, so I close my eyes and breathe out deeply… and open my legs more.
I know that Virus’ gaze is pouring into that spot.
I’m embarrassed. I hate it. I don’t want him to look at me.
It would be so much better if I could die rather than do this.
One after the other I have to do these things that are forced upon me and bear with them.
My hand stops between my legs.
But, no matter what movements I do here, Virus won’t urge me on or force me to do something else.
When I’m conflicted with myself Virus will wait for minutes, even hours.
That’s not because he’s nice.
He has fun watching me push down and kill the pride inside of me.
The damage is worse for one to force oneself into submitting than to have someone else do it.
I finally know to abide by the rules but there’s no way I could enjoy it.
That’s why no matter how cold Virus voice gets he won’t raise his voice or get angry.
That’s scary in and of itself. I really have no idea what he’s thinking.
This thought that “Virus doesn’t get mad” is actually just something I’m thinking on my own.
I wonder what would happen if Virus really got mad.
I don’t want to think of that. Just thinking it makes me shudder.
After that is just… being afraid.
I hate feeling this fear so I want to hurry and become like a doll who can’t feel anything.
A: …
My feelings in a mess, I start to kneed my soft cock with my fingers.
But it won’t get hard at all.
I can’t concentrate with this fear and shyness. It doesn’t feel any good.
Even if I put more strength into my touch nothing works.
I start to sweat, and a cold sweat starts to run down my whole body.
Virus won’t get mad no matter how long it takes but the pressure he’s putting on me with his silence continues.
It makes me sweat more.
V: You’re rather nervous, aren’t you. Are you still nervous? Even though it’s not your first time.
Virus laughs, as though he’s read my thoughts.
V: But, that part of you is nice, Aoba-san. That you can’t throw your pride away.
V: Normally in this type of situation there are a lot of people who would cry and plead for forgiveness but
V: But Aoba-san is more interesting compared to that, I love it.
As he says those words Virus leans his elbow on the armrest of the couch.
…He’s going to wait for as long as it takes, after all.
…I have to do it. I want to end this quickly.
I have to do it fast. Soon.
A: ……
Feeling that I need to hurry, I somehow move my hand enough so that I can start to get hard.
At that time, something cold touches my cock.
A: …!?
That was…
Before I knew it, the snake that was loitering next to me started to move and is now brushing itself against my body and my cock, curling around me.
As if it knows what I’m doing, the snake curls in and out around my body, and that cold, smooth body touches my cock again.
The forked tongue, as though it’s messing with me, flicks out to brush against my tip.
A: …ah….
…I react to the touch unconsciously.
The cold body and tongue feel hot touching my body and soon, little by little, heat begins to rise inside of me.
I move my hand against myself again.
This time… it starts to get hard.
A: Fu…
V: Is it because you felt Helsher touching it? You say that you hate it, but in actuality you like it don’t you? Fufu…
A: Ah… haa… ku….
Once the fire caught it can’t be stopped.
Just like that… my body is being taught to abide by the rules of pleasure.
That’s why I stroke myself as I feel it.
It’s completely different from before, now hard in my hand, and I start to feel a little bit of pleasure rising in my hips.
A: Ha… … u….
I close my eyes naturally and immerse myself into it.
I can feel Virus’ gaze upon me beyond the darkness of my eyelids.
The embarrassment won’t go away. But, I’ve lost the ability to stop my hand.
My body… wants it.
A: Ha ah…
V: Aoba-san, please clearly watch what you’re doing to yourself.
V: It’s no good if you end up closing your eyes.
Because Virus pointed it out, I slowly open my eyes.
When I turn my gaze down I can see my fully hard cock lined and sparkling with pre-cum.
I think that it’s very unattractive. But I can’t do anything about it.
Even more so… For some reason I can feel myself getting harder from looking at it.
In my head I don’t like it though…
A: U ah… Haa… …ah
I move my hand in concentration.
As I do so the snake wraps itself around my cock.
A: Ha…
I can feel the scales of the snake brushing against me.
Its tongue licks my tip as his body continue to rubs on my cock.
I breathe shallowly from my open mouth and I reach my rather wet fingers down to my ass.
To prepare myself… means like this.
As my other hand strokes my cock messily, I sink my fingers inside of myself slowly.
A: Fu… ….n
Due to the amount of times that Virus and Trip have entered me, the opening isn’t as tight as it used to be and the thickness of my fingers are no problem.
I add another finger and I can feel the sweet pleasure starting to curl my toes.
V: You’re cute, Aoba-san.
A: A… A u… a
I can feel pleasure from the front and the back, making me want to cum soon, and I look at Virus.
I know that Virus will find fault in it but I can’t help but beg for it.
A: ….
V: It’s okay.
Virus nods as he swivels the wine in the glass.
I’m relieved by that answer and I move my hand.
A: …ha… ah u ku….
I rub the places where my body wishes to be touched and I force myself forward toward the edge.
A: Ah…. Ah u ah… AAh ah…!!
I stroke myself hard in the last spurt and I hit the peak.
I shake with my release and white liquid streams from my cock.
A: ….ha… …haa…..
I lean against the pillows and stare at myself with open eyes.
Virus stands with the wine glass in hand and comes towards me.
V: You did well.
Virus smiles brightly and sits on the bed side, patting my head.
He presents the wine glass to me.
V: How does a reward sound?
Virus takes my chin in one hand and presses the glass against my lips.
He inclines the glass a little bit and the deep red liquid flows into my mouth.
The fragrance is so strong it nearly chokes me and it wakes me up from the drunkenness of coming.
I don’t have the will to drink it but I swallow, drinking it anyway.
Some of the fluid dribbles from the corner of my mouth.
V: Some of it spilled a little.
Virus wipes the wine from the corner of my mouth with a finger and licks it.
The strong alcohol drops into my empty stomach and my head starts to go blank.
V: Aoba-san. Do you do this sort of thing when you’re in Trip’s room too?
A: …?
I can’t register the question with him asking so suddenly so I just look at him.
Virus brushes my skin with the back of his hand.
V: I don’t know what Trip does to you, or what he lets you do.
V: Well, I don’t especially think I want to know. I was just interested for a second and ended up asking.
He removes his hand from my face and tips the wine glass to his mouth.
V: It’s not like we’re really that friendly anyway. And we don’t really have a deep relationship.
As he says that, even at a time like this, I can feel myself want to laugh.
Because I remembered what those two said in Kyuujuuminku.
It might just be because of the wine, though.
A: …It’s something you always said. That you weren’t twins…
I mutter it like a sigh.
At some point my lips turned up into a smile on their own.
Because they aren’t twins. They’re not twins.
They always said that. In the days that I can’t return to.
The fun days… in Kyuujuuminku.
There were also hard things going on then and it wasn’t completely calm.
But, it was much better than now.
I can’t return to that time anymore.
V: That’s right. It’s just that the two of us somehow ended up together.
V: I wonder if you could even say we get along well? That guy is much younger than me.
V: Let’s talk a little about me and Trip.
V: You don’t know much about us, do you Aoba-san.
Virus says the words happily, whether or not he knows that I have interest in them.
It’s either because of the wine, or because he’s just saying it on a whim.
V: We talked about it a little before but, when we met after Toue took us, Trip was 6 years younger than me.
V: It really felt like Trip was just a brat (violent brat), and any way he had no trouble getting into fights, and all he did was fight with the people around him.
V: He would hit people without saying anything, after just meeting their eyes. There were times where he would bite into them hard enough to tear flesh and he could sometimes cause them great wounds.
V: But he never said a word. Enough that you could think his vocal cords were cut off.
V: He was surrounded by the atmosphere like he was stepping on needles, but his eyes were calm.
V: I had no interest, though, so I didn’t know until Trip got close to me.
V: By chance he was thrust into me.
V: At that time, I thought that he was going to treat me like the other people…
V: But for some reason he didn’t do anything to me.
V: And strangely enough, after that he stopped fighting.
V: In exchange… well it’s strange to say it that way, but he started following after me.
V: Up until then he hadn’t talked to anyone, but he talked to me.
V: At first I thought, what the hell is this guy but, well, he didn’t really cause any harm so I left him alone.
V: And now we’ve arrived to here but…
V: That guy’s true hair color is red. He changed his hair color especially to match mine.
V: Originally his eye color was different too but when our eyes were tampered with they changed.
T: It’s useless even if you use your voice, Aoba. Because I can see. I can see the special way your throat moves when you talk.
A: !?
V: I don’t think you are well aware but, actually we are in the role of taking care of Sei. Why do you think so?
V: This was tampered with. So that we can’t be affected by Sei’s eyes.
V: Why do you think it is that he changed his hair, eyes, and attire to match mine?
V: He said because it was natural for him to do it if he was going to follow me. That there was no other reason.
V: That’s why he’s not really my underling or anything. We never really had the need to become friends. You don’t understand what that means, do you.
V: Well, that guy must have his own interests, but I don’t have much of an interest in him. I just let him do as he pleases.
V: …How was it? Unexpected? Or was it similar to what you predicted?
Virus slits his eyes impishly.
A: …
V: I’m not really one to have someone beside me but, regarding Trip, well…
V: I guess you can say it’s because we do in fact compliment each other.
Virus, swirling the wine in the glass as he talks, stops there and smiles as usual.
V: This is the end of our talk. I’m happy that Aoba-san suddenly spoke, and it made me end up talking as well.
V: I would have more fun if Aoba-san would talk more for me.
A: …
I hadn’t know about their past so I did think that it was a little unexpected.
To think that they, too, had that kind of history…
I also don’t know what else I’m feeling other than that.
That’s because it doesn’t have any relevance to me right now. I can only hear it as the truth.
The me from the past may have had some type of reaction but…
I wonder what kind? Even I don’t know anymore.
V: Come on, go.
When Virus strokes the snake’s body, the snake begins to crawl towards me again.
A: Hi….
Before I can stop it a choking sound comes from deep within my throat.
I move backwards, afraid of the snake, but it skillfully wraps itself around my arms.
He ties himself tightly around me and squeezes, making my face twist.
A: U…!
V: Don’t break his bones. You have great strength you know.
The freedom is taken from my arms, and I look at Virus with fear and bewilderment.
Because he’s not really mad this must be Virus’ “feeling for today”.
What will he do…
V: You prepared yourself for me Aoba-san, so now I’m going to have some fun.
Virus gets off the bed and puts the wine glass on the table to take up the wine bottle instead.
V: Wrapped up in the scent of wine, or something… Doesn’t it sound nice?
Saying the words as if to poke fun at me, he lifts the bottle up high over my body.
A: …!
Without holding back at all he tips the bottle and spills wine onto me, the red liquid spilling over my body.
The coldness makes me shiver. The snake moves away so it doesn’t get hit by a splash.
After spilling a good amount of wine, Virus tips it back and then reaches out a hand to touch my skin drenched in wine.
He swirls his dry finger around in the red liquid.
From my stomach to my chest. Passing my rib to my side.
He slides across my skin slowly.
A: Fu…
I can feel him touching me more than usual because of the wetness and I let out a small gasp.
Virus’ finger moves back to my chest and he kneads my nipple.
A: Ah…! Ah… haa…
After the two of them brought me here and they played with my chest I never really felt more than a ticklish sensation.
But for some reason now it feels so good I feel like I could get hard just from him touching me.
A: Fu… u… n…
He pinches my nipple tightly between his thumb and pointer and a sweet sound comes out of my nose.
Maybe because of the smell of the wine in the room, but I feel like my head is becoming muddy.
Can you absorb… alcohol from the skin too?
As he spreads the red liquid over my body he suddenly leans forward and licks my lips.
Right next to him is the snake’s tail, though he’s still wrapped around my arms, brushes against my side.
V: …
A: Ha…!
Virus licks my collarbone and then takes his tongue from my skin.
Then he touches his wet tongue to my nipple that his finger had played with thoroughly.
A: U… ah… Aah…
He suddenly sucks it up into his mouth and bites down on it with his lips. The soft, wetness of his mouth makes my body jolt.
His tongue rolls my nipple around and I let out a sharp breath.
A: Haa ah… fu ah….
The feeling of his tongue sends a much sweeter and stronger stimulus through me and I gasp and sigh with noises mixed in.
V: …fufu. You’re so sensitive, Aoba-san.
Looking at me like this Virus laughs deeply and kisses me on the lips once again.
V: It feels good, right? It’s good wine. So please savor it even more.
Virus tips the wine bottle again.
This time on the lower half of my body.
A: Ah…!
The cold liquid falls onto my cock that’s already getting hard again even though I just came.
Virus sets the bottle straight again and reaches out his hand to my thighs.
Virus’ fingers loiter all around the places of my body, my thighs and the joints and my abdomen, skipping just around there.
Even though he knows I’m feeling it he’s in no rush and he does it over and over… slowly.
He sometimes drags his nails along my skin and that too is frustrating.
A: Ha… ah…  …n
Hurry…
I want him to touch me soon.
Those thoughts gradually rise in my head and my heels dig into the sheets.
As if in a hurry, the blood rushes into my cock.
V: Do you want me to touch you? Aoba-san.
He whispers softly in my ear…
I nod.
My body has fallen that deeply into desire.
Virus smiles in satisfaction, and that finger finally reaches to my erection.
A: …!
My hips shake on their own, happy for the feeling it longed for.
Virus takes my cock in his hand and starts stroking me slowly.
Because of the wine the sound of wetness reverberates from the beginning.
V: You’re already like this, Aoba-san. Even though you just came.
A: U… ah…
At his cruel teasing my body heats up.
But…
I can’t fight against pleasure as I am now.
I’m just happy with the feelings Virus is giving me…
V: You also prepared yourself here, too, didn’t you?
Virus’ hand lets go of my cock and moves downward.
His fingers split my cheeks and suddenly enter inside of me.
A: Haa… ah…!
Because of my preparation, Virus’ fingers enter easily.
He moves them relentlessly, scratching the inner walls.
A: Haa ha… ua…
As he does I start to feel a numbness running through me and my breath becomes hotter.
His fingers delve deeper inside of me as if I’m tempting him inside.
Virus’ lips pull back at my reactions and he tips the wine bottle again.
As his fingers slide into me again; the red liquid goes in with it.
He tips the bottle back up and then moves his fingers faster inside of me.
A: Aaah…!
The cold wine meshes with my body heat quickly and goes deeply inside of my body along with Virus’ fingers.
My cock is completely soaked in wine.
V: It’s a little bit dangerous for you to take alcohol inside of you, isn’t it.
V: But if it’s only a little bit it might end up giving you a good feeling.
A: …Hi Ua…
It might be because of the wine just like Virus said…
My body is lighter and hotter than before.
The pleasure is two or three times stronger and reverberates all over my body.
No matter how violently his fingers move inside of me, I can’t feel anything but pleasure.
V: …It seems like you’ll be good to go soon.
Leaving his fingers inside of me, he flips me over so I’m face down.
The snake unwraps himself from around my arms, readjusting, and now curls around my abdomen.
Even though my arms are free, I don’t have the strength to try to escape anymore.
V: Oh?
Virus raises his voice like he realizes something and he laughs lightly in his throat.
V: Aoba-san, Helsher is saying he wants to play with you first.
A: …!?
I feel something tickling my thigh.
I turn my head out of nervousness and I meet the snake’s head.
From my place laying face down, the snake is curled around my body, his face hanging in front of my eyes.
It was his body that touched my thigh, wasn’t it.
The snake’s body slowly falls to my ass and slides up to Virus’ fingers.
Then…
A: Ha…! Ah Uah…ah…!!
Of all things… just after Virus’ fingers, the snake puts its tale in.
I feel the tail spreading me impossibly wide and I let out my voice.
There’s no pain, but the strange feeling gives me goose bumps.
The tail moves in and out of me with Virus’ fingers.
A: U… Uu…
V: It feels good doesn’t it, Aoba-san.
Virus takes his fingers out from inside of me.
But the feeling of something foreign inside of me doesn’t completely disappear.
If the tail still inside of me…?
Even so the feeling inside of me loosens and Virus takes my hips and lifts my ass into the air.
V: …
A: ! Ah… I… ah…!!
He presses his body weight onto me and, surely with the snake’s tail inside of me, he slides in.
A: Ha… ah u…!
V: N…
Slowly Virus presses himself into me.
But, there isn’t any pain after all.
It must be because I prepared myself well before, and because of the wetness of the wine.
Overwhelming pleasure spreads inside of my body.
A: Aah… fu ha ah….
Now, no matter how much Virus pushes inside of me I’m fine with it, and I just let out my voice.
V: Haa…
I hear Virus’ sigh and my hips shake a little.
A: U… n…
That shiver sends a great sweet feeling inside of me and suddenly he pulls my hair.
A: ! I-it hurts…! Ah…!
A surging, strong pain shoots through me and my face warps in pain.
V: Does it hurt? Aoba-san.
He blows his soft voice into my soft ear.
I can’t oppose him and he curls his fingers in my hair and pulls.
It blows all the pleasure I had been feeling away.
A: Aaa…! Hi… No, sto- I Ahh…!
As I let out a loud voice from the pain of him pulling my hair, he starts moving inside of me.
V: …fu….
A: Ah… No… n haa….
Pain drills deep inside of me but Virus moves again and the pain slowly dissipates.
A sweet feeling starts to run though my soft cock again and if I look, I can see the snake curling around me.
A: Haa… ah… …
He then strokes my hair gently.
Instead of pulling strongly, he starts stroking my hair gently and then places it in his lips and sucks on it sweetly.
I feel a pain similar to a tickling feeling, but this time the pain turns quickly into pleasure.
A: Fu… ah…
V: I already know just how to handle Aoba-san’s hair by now.
I’m aware of the happiness in Virus’ voice and I can only feel frustration.
But that’s extinguished in an instant.
This… isn’t the first time it’s happened like this.
It’s not just my hair, but everything, even my heart, is like a toy to this guy.
But I still can’t really get used to the feeling that he’s giving me through my hair.
Maybe it’s because it’s like it feels like he’s just pulling straight on my nerves.
It seems like Virus knows that, and normally he won’t play with my hair much.
Maybe he likes to keep it so that when he plays with it I’m still not used to it yet.
V: It hurts but it feels good. It feels like that right?
V: And in that, the pain will turn into pleasure, right.
A: Ah…!
The pain of him pulling on my hair strongly again runs through me.
But by now the pain has already turned into pleasure making me hard.
V: Are you listening? Aoba-san.
A: Ku… Ua ah….
V: Fuu…
Virus laughs like he’s ridiculing me and he leans heavily on top of me.
V: Maybe you haven’t realized it yourself but…
Virus says this close to my ear, that I can’t see his face.
V: Cornering Aoba-san’s emotional state, you can throw out everything and can wash away everything other than “plain pleasure”.
V: Entrust everything but yourself to someone else, and you can escape from suffering and conflict.
Plain pleasure…?
A: …ha….
Even if I try to think, due to Virus’ movements my thoughts become scattered.
V: It was like this before too. If you encompass too much emotional stress you can succumb to it.
V: But if you’re aware of that yourself, and want to pass through it, I feel like that’s very much like Aoba-san to do.
He speeds up his movements, sometimes he pulls my hair and whispers in my ear.
V: You’ve always been living in a big whole.
V: Because we wanted to see all of that Aoba-san, we completely and thoroughly researched you.
V: It was our “pleasure”
V: We wanted to wash away your will. It’s been fun.
A: …Faa ah
With the stimulus from my hair and Virus’ movements, I start to become to be overwhelmed by a wave of pleasure.
The snake moves around my cock and I start to get harder and harder.
V: When I tug on your hair you clench up inside, Aoba-san.
A: Ah…. Ua….
As if in response to Virus’ words, my insides close tightly around him.
He thrusts into me while holding my hair and then he suddenly stops moving.
A: …?
I hear strange sounds and then I feel something spreading across my back.
A: …!
Along with the coldness, the strong scent wraps around me again.
When I turn around to look, Virus is smiling, and the bottle is completely upside down as he resumes his actions.
A: Ha ah… ah…
I feel like the smell of the alcohol makes the pleasure stronger.
V: …
While thrusting into me, Virus starts licking my back.
Just that makes me shiver… and shake.
V: And you’re like this just from this
Virus wraps a hand around my cock along with the snake.
A: Ah…!
It’s so hard that it hurts, and is wet with something other than the wine.
V: Are you going to cum, Aoba-san?
A: Haa… n…
V: A little more… for me too.
After letting out a strong breath he starts moving harder.
While stroking me in the front, the pleasure that’s welling up throws my thoughts into disarray.
A: Ah ahh… ku ha…
My breathing speeds up and without caring what I look like I let my voice out.
A feeling like sadness rises within me and feels like it could explode even now.
I’m driven until the edge and then the snake squeezes tightly around my cock.
A: ! Ha! U ah ah
A: AAAaaaah…!!!
I’m being stroked so hard that it hurts and then I reach my limit, shaking strongly.
As soon as I cum the snake tightens around me and a strong sense of pain as well as pleasure runs through me.
A: Hi… ah….!
V: …fu…
I gasp hard after cumming and Virus is breathing hard as though he’s holding his breath back.
He shakes my exhausted body strongly and suddenly his heat is pulled violently out from inside of me.
A: Ah…
V: Ku…
I feel him pulling out of me and the pressure of his hotness splashing on my ass.
V: Ha…
Virus breathes in sighs and lets go of my hips.
And just like that I fall onto the bed like a doll.
A: Haa haa…. …?
I sink to the wet sheets and then feel something against my lower back.
Virus is tracing my lower back with his fingers.
He’s playing with the remnants of the wine as well as his cum.
V: …Ahh, mixed with the wine it makes a pretty pink color.
V: It’s a color that suits Aoba-san very well…
V: …Or something. I just wanted to try saying it. This is a line that a lot of men say right?
V: Sometimes it’s nice to play like this, right?
As though he’s said something funny Virus hovers over me.
The snake flows over my shoulders on my back, comes to my face and then licks my cheek.
I sit still, now devoid of pleasure.
Virus strokes my hair gently and moves it away from my ear to whisper.
V: It’s not over yet, Aoba-san.
V: You have to obey us even more from now on.
Like he’s telling me a sweet secret, he whispers in a kind, deep voice.
V: You’re hiding infinite potential. That’s why, please always let us have fun with you.
V: I love you, Aoba-san.
A: …
I don’t want to say anything anymore.
I don’t want to think of anything.
I’m just these two’s plaything, forever.
Until I lose feelings, like a doll, always.
….It would be great if that time came soon.
That’s all I think of, praying deeply, deeply to god…
I close my eyes slowly.

2) Left hand:
Even if I’m asked which is good, I can’t see anything.
I try reaching my hand to the left. I don’t know whose hand I touch with my fingertips.
T: Score.
V: Ahh, too bad.
After Trip’s voice, I hear Virus’ sigh as though he’s showing off.
V: Well, whatever. It can’t be helped.
V: Then, Aoba-san. Good night.
T: Good night~
This is Virus’ room so the ones who leave are just me and Trip.
The hand I reached out for now holds me tight and pulls.
A: …
T: Aoba, this way. We’re going to my room.
Trip’s room…
They’re both very similar, but if possible I just don’t want to go to Trip’s room…
Blindfolded, Trip pulls me towards his room.
After walking down the hall way a little we enter Trip’s room. A different atmosphere than before brushes against my skin.
Trip pulls me into his room and then lets go of my hand.
I stand somewhere in the room, helpless because I can’t see, and I hear the sound of something rustling.
After a little bit something touches my neck.
Something cold. It’s cold, hard, and thin.
A: …?
T: A-oba. I thought this would suit you so I prepared it for you.
Trip lays that something on the back of my neck.
I become anxious and lift a hand to touch the thing around my neck.
T: It was a special order. Just for Aoba. …look.
Just like his words, he takes off my blindfold.
In the large scenery in front of me I see a naked person.
That’s…. me, in a mirror.
I stare fixated at myself in the mirror more than at the thing around my neck.
It’s like I’m a different person. I’m so thin from losing weight and I look seedy.
It’s miserable.
More than my body, my face looks exhausted.
And around that shameless neck is a thin ring.
The ring has a padlock that hangs down about 30cm.
Trip looks at my face from behind and then looks into the mirror.
There is a thin smile on those lips.
T: It looks good on you, just like I though. So? What about you?
A: …
I feel incredible disgrace at his question.
Is he asking that question on purpose cause he knows, or not.
I clench my jaw in order to hide the bitterness I feel and close my eyes to turn away.
When I do, he grips my chin hard and faces me back to the mirror.
T: Here, look properly. At yourself.
His voice is much colder than before.
That’s him enforcing his order.
I can’t… go against his orders.
A: …
Suddenly I can taste blood.
At some point, without realizing it, I bit my lip.
T: Aoba, your lips. There’s blood on them.
Trip spreads the blood over my lips.
T: Don’t bite so hard.
He says that and then licks the blood from his finger.
T: But it looks like lipstick and is cute.
A: ….
T: It makes me remember the old Aoba a little bit.
T: Not that you wore lipstick. This romanticness mixed with despair.
He presses the finger he licked the blood off of against my lips again.
T: The old Aoba seemed like he would do anyone, anyone was okay, and he had that risky air about him.
T: In reality he may not have. But, it definitely looked like he’d do anything.
T: Right now you feel like a normal Aoba but the Aoba in the past and the Aoba now are both Aoba.
T: That Aoba who is refusing to fall into depravity.
T: That nature used to lurk in Aoba from the beginning. We knew that.
T: That’s why we got our hands on you and wanted to pull that side out of you again.
T: Surely it’s a part you don’t know much about yourself. For that reason we have to break this “older brother” –like Aoba.
T: …hey. Are you scared of being broken?
A: …
He whispers the words against my ear, giving me goose bumps.
…I’m scared.
The first thing that pops into my head is that feeling.
I’m scared. So scared my legs are shaking.
Thinking of the things he did before, it’s not like I wasn’t scared then either.
Virus and Trip are the same.
Even now they’re still trying to break me.
As if too soothe my shakes, Trip puts his hands on my shoulders.
But his next words don’t reflect his actions.
T: When that happens you’ll be conflicted, and the feelings will spread faster, and be stronger. Sounds fun.
T: We can’t imagine what Aoba will become after that.
T: It may not happen like that but, there’s the highest potential for Aoba… to fall into that black hole.
Trip’s voice is horribly sweet. This voice is like poison.
When Trip looks like this he’s actually talking to the thing on the other side.
Even now I’m just like a toy in their hands… They must be having fun trying to break me.
That’s why this voice isn’t just sweet. He’s trying to educate me with deadly poison.
Like a child squishing a bug between his fingers, that innocent cruelty.
Trip brushes the choker and looks at me in the mirror.
The chain clinks.
I hold my voice back swallowing nervously, and Trip pulls the front of the chain down.
A: …!
Trip laughs when I shake.
T: Cuuute. Aoba, come.
Trip takes the chain and leads to me a table.
I have no choice but to follow after him, feeling like a dog.
The table is beside the bed with a lot of food on top of it. Most of it is snacks.
Furthermore, most of the sweets have been touched already.
Unexpectedly, the snacks on the table are in a mess, and it seems like they were left after eating them, and then getting tired of them after a while.
Trip sits on the bed in front of the table.
Without knowing what I should do I stay standing where he left me.
…Then, I see a large shadow sitting in the distance.
That is….
Trip’s all-mate.
I look at the lump of dark fur and my heart clenches in fear.
…I’m scared.
T: Aoba, aren’t you hungry? Do you want to eat something?
Trip says those words as he takes a snack from the table into his hands.
But, instead of eating the snack he throws it aside onto a plate, losing interest.
Moreover, he does it over and over.
Seeing him playing with his snacks like I had imagined makes him look like a child.
Trip picks up a slice of cake with pink frosting, and instead of throwing it aside, he pulls me towards him.
I end up placing my hands on Virus’ knees as a reaction.
T: Aoba, did you like sweets normally?
The pink cake comes towards my lips. Suddenly, the sweet smell wafts my way.
But I have no appetite whatsoever. I just threw up before…
I keep my mouth closed and turn my head away.
T: You dislike it?
A: …
Even so Trip grinds the cake into my firmly shut lips.
It seems like he’s enjoying it right now, but I’m scared to continue going against him.
The fear gets stronger and stronger and I timidly open my mouth.
T: I’m glad.
Trip forces the cake into my mouth. I eat only a little of it.
I chew it and swallow it. …It’s sweet.
I’m sure that it’s actually really good cake.
But, right now I can only see it as a lump of disgusting sugar.
I don’t want to eat it.
But if I don’t…
Without being able to choose when I want to eat it, the cake is forced towards me again and I open my mouth.
I chew, swallow it, and the cake is pushed at me again…
A: …
The pace starts to speed up, and Trip starts to shove the cake into my mouth even before I’ve finished chewing.
He’s smiling as usual, and a light like a child enjoying his pranks is shining in his eyes.
T: Good, Aoba.
A: U…
…It’s definitely on purpose.
I try to match Trip’s pace but I can’t.
He presses it into my mouth and pink crumbs and icing stick to my face.
Even so Trip speeds up his pace trying to get me to eat me.
T: Here
I still have a lot of cake piled into my mouth, but Trip puts more in.
Any more than this is impossible. It hurts….
My mouth is full of cake so I can’t even let out my voice.
I just stare at him, begging with my eyes and shake my head back and forth.
…But.
T: Eat?
A: Gu… mu….
Trip won’t loosen up.
The cake is pushed down deep into my throat and it seems like I’m gonna throw up.
I choke with teary eyes and finally he stops pushing the cake into my mouth.
A: Gaha u gu… goho…
I can’t hold the cake in my mouth any more and, open wide, the cake starts to dribble out of my mouth.
T: Aah, what a waste. But, if you won’t eat it will, I’ll help you.
Saying that, he grabs my chin, dirtied with cake, and lifts it up.
With the other hand he takes another piece of cake, takes a little bite of it, holds it in his mouth, and then leans towards me.
A: N u…
Holding my chin he makes my lips open wide, and pushes the cake into my mouth with his tongue.
A: Ah… mu….
As though he wants to stop me from chewing or just wants to play with me, he curls his tongue around mine.
Even so I somehow manage to eat the cake and Trip pulls away.
T: Next is this.
This time he take a small, round, blue candy, puts it on his tongue, and puts it in my mouth.
He enters my mouth again and this time really gets in the way of me eating the candy.
A: Fu…
Crunch, crunch.
I’m careful not to bite Trip’s tongue and slowly chew on the candy.
…I can’t just think it’s sweet or good after all.
There’s nothing like intoxication from the kiss either.
Tears, snot, sugar, spit…I can taste all of it.
If I look, Trip’s face also has cream on it. But it looks like he hasn’t realized it himself.
T: Fufu…
He feeds me mouth to mouth many times, and finally he stops.
T: Ahh, that was sweet.
He says it with satisfaction as he takes the cream from his mouth with a finger and licks it.
Released from the pain of him force feeding me, I cry, breathing roughly.
I’m scared of this strange childlike thing.
Then, Trip’s coil rings.
T: …Yes. Ahh, yeah.
T: I understand. Tomorrow. Yeah. …I said I know. Night, baibai.
He hangs up after just a few words and then turns towards me.
T: That was from Virus. He was telling me the time of tomorrow’s plans. And said to say hi to you.
T: Even though tomorrow is Virus’ turn.
T: …Ahh, Tomorrow you’ll go to Virus’ place. Then, today I have to shower you with as much affection as I can.
When I hear those words my body stiffens up immediately.
To be as affectionate with me as he can.
When he says things like that it basically means….
Just thinking of it makes me shake.
…But, it’s strange. Today is Trip so tomorrow is Virus.
Then it will be Trip again. And after that Virus.
Sometimes the both of them.
There are times like toady where they let me choose and I spend two days with one of them, but after that it will switch to the other one.
I’m a thing like a toy being tossed between the two of them.
But, for instance… It’s strange but, neither of them will try to monopolize their time.
They are always somehow fair, and there is always a reasonable atmosphere between them.
They each of their own cruelties, and they aren’t the types to be friends, or have a bond, or to call it that.
But there is something strange between them and they work to protect it.
They hold a reasonable distance from each other, and they make sure not to get close enough to part.
Why? Is it fun for them to be together?
…I can’t see it like that.
Trip and Virus are always together. It was like that in Kyuujuuminku as well.
Why are they together?
It may just be as they say, they have similar existences but aren’t twins/
If so then why are they together?
A: …Why, are you two together.
T: …With Virus?
Trip licks his finger again and looks at me.
He must think it’s strange that I suddenly asked a question.
I also think it’s strange myself.
It’s like the thing I was thinking just suddenly came out of my mouth.
I usually don’t talk when I’m with the two of them. Because no matter what I say, there’s usually no point.
But, maybe I have started to get used to it in the end.
While being scared and unable to do anything else in this situation.
I can’t completely get rid of my emotions, and once I get completely used to it I probably won’t talk at all.
I become so scared that normally I forget what I was going to say anyway. I get paralyzed in fear.
That’s already started.
T: Together with Virus… Why, just somehow? Are you interested?
Thinking, Trip cocks his head and looks at me with a smile.
A: …
I nod honestly and look at Trip in silence.
Trip lets out a breath as though he’s interested.
T: That’s fine, let’s talk. Though it’s not such an important talk.
T: I first met Virus at Toue’s place. Though Virus was there first.
T: Then, when we first met, I thought there was something tranquil about this guy.
T: Up until then, I hadn’t thought of the people around me as human, I just thought of them as annoying existences.
T: That’s why I didn’t want to get close to anyone, and if they talked to me I would hit them.
T: I thought it was good to beat up the people around me. It was a feeling as though I was surrounded by monsters.
T: What was it? Their eyes, noses, and mouths looked like a monster’s I never thought they were similar to me.
T: But, only Virus was somewhat different.
T: I saw the other people around me muddily, and thought they were dirty, but only Virus was pure white.
T: Not that I thought he was pretty, there was nothing. It was quiet just then, like time stopped.
T: I thought it was the first time I met someone like him. That he’s like me.
T: I don’t know what I thought was the same though.
T: Maybe like a dog looking up at its owner? Not that he’s really an owner.
T: Virus also didn’t say anything about me following him. Just that.
T: And then it’s like things are now.
T: That’s why I don’t feel like or hate towards him.
T: But well, Virus doesn’t lie. He’s very honest.
T: He looks soft from the outside but, he dislikes what he dislikes. What’s good is good. There’s no hesitation. He thinks of things as though they’d been decided when he was born.
T: I like that.
T: We’re not close friends, not family, not lovers.
T: We’re just together because we don’t really dislike each other. Just that.
A: …
Trip talks as though he’s uninterested.
Hearing that I just feel like the riddle deepened.
These guys have been together in a way I can’t even imagine and I still don’t really understand.
They’re just together because they don’t dislike each other?
Just with that, always? That’s not a very clear reason.
They don’t hit or fight each other.
With just that feeling they can’t really know each other very well.
Is their relationship deep or shallow.
I can’t tell at all. I have no idea why the two of them are together.
But I never understood what they were thinking from the beginning, so I guess it’s obvious that I don’t understand.
T: Seems like I talked too much. This talk wasn’t anything important, was it.
Trip sighs as he says those words and pulls on the chain.
T: We have to brush your teeth after eating.
He pulls my to the washroom after saying that.
After washing his own face a little, he washes mine.
Then he takes the toothbrush and brings it towards my mouth.
T: Aoba. Say ahh.
A: …
I really have no idea what Trip is thinking. That’s why I feel a sense of dread.
When I open my mouth as he told me too, he thrusts the toothbrush in.
He brushes my teeth normally.
I become a little relaxed and just hope it ends quickly.
A: !?
Trip stops brushing and instead pushes his fingers in my mouth.
He grabs my tongue in my mouth full of toothpaste.
A: Ah gu….
T: We have to wash your tongue too.
A: U….
With my mouth open, he strokes and pulls on my tongue. He pulls on my tongue from the root and I feel unbearable pain.
It seems like if I let my voice out the toothpaste would go down my throat, so I can’t breathe.
I struggle frantically, trying to get Trip to stop, but it’s useless.
Trip narrows his eyes looking at me in pain.
T: You’re cute, Aoba.
A: Fu… ugu…!
I feel the wetness of the toothpaste dripping from my mouth.
He peers at me as I struggle, smiling thinly, and suddenly, like he’s lost interest, pulls his hand away.
A: Haa haa haa…!
As soon as he’s released me Trip forces me towards the sink.
T: Rinse?
The water pours from the tap and like a dog I stretch out my tongue.
T: Do it more thoroughly.
A: !
He puts his finger deeper into my mouth again and spins it around.
A: A gu ah… ka ha….
I become nauseous and spit mixed with gastric juices spill into the sink.
He stops and rinses my mouth with water then wipes my face with a towel.
I think that he may be mad at something, but when I look at him he looks normal.
He must be having some unhappy thoughts towards he, mustn’t he.
I’m sure he doesn’t really have a motive though.
I’m sure he just put his finger in his mouth “because he wanted to” and not out of hate or ill will or anything.
There’s no ill will. I’m just excessively… scared.
There was a time before where he cut me thinly with a knife over and over again just “because he wanted to”.
Fingers, hands, neck, chest, stomach, thighs, legs.
After that…  …
Moreover, it was just one thin cut all over. The cuts were thin enough so that the blood just barely came to the surface.
The reason he said was “because I want to see blood flow from Aoba from a lot of places,” something I couldn’t understand at all.
Trip licked blood from every cut.
I really thought I would go mad from the wounds.
But, Trip had no real reason to want to see that.
He “just wanted to do it”.
I don’t know where it escalated from then. I’m not sure if Trip knew either.
That’s why I can’t help but feel scared when he handles me.
I look at him to try to guess what he’s going to do next, and Trip pulls on the chain again and takes me to the bed.
I sit on the bed and then….
T: Belta (maybe Belter).
A: …
Hearing that name called I almost jump off the bed.
My blood drops all at once and I get cold all over.
Goosebumps rise on my flesh and burning impatience runs through me.
I don’t want this, I’m scared.
I’m scared…!!
At his master’s call, the lion that was sitting under the bed the whole time rises.
Looking at that, I end up being unable to move.
My knees give out and I lose strength.
A: No….
I can’t talk well and the word comes out in a whisper.
No…!
T: It’s about time to play.
Looking happy with its master’s words, the lion growls deeply.
A: Hi….
I can’t escape, and for the time being just to try to get away from the lion I kick at the sheets.
But the lion is fast and jumps at me.
A: No ah… Don’t come!!!!
The lion comes onto the bed to stand over me and presses down on my arms and legs.
The strength that it’s holding me down with is no joke. If he stays like this I’m going to be trampled…!
A: Ah… Aahh…
The lion’s face is in front of me, still growling and I’m shaking so much my teeth are chattering.
The lion bares its fangs and barks loudly as though to frighten me.
A: Hii ah…!
I cringe in fright at that sound and tears stream from my eyes.
Drool from the lion licking its chops drips onto me.
I don’t have the strength to care about how unseemly I must look and the tears spill out as I shake my head.
But of course the lion doesn’t care about that.
He looks at me with his brutal eyes and then licks my chest.
A: I…!
The thick tongue drags against my sensitive skin.
There is no comparison to the pain I feel, not like a human’s or a small animals, if he licks too much blood will come out.
And the fangs I see as he licks me are frightening.
If he puts a little bit of strength into his jaw, he could tear my skin to pieces.
…No.
I’m scared. I don’t want this.
A: No….!!!
The reason I didn’t want to come to Trip’s room…
Is because of this.
I’m so scared of this lion that I can’t take it.
Trip always instigates him and threatens me with him.
I’m sure he does it to make sure that I lose the strength to run away but…
When I see Trip laughing so openly at my fear I can’t help but think he’s just doing it for fun.
I don’t know if it’s because Trip told him, but the lion hurts me only to the amount that the wounds won’t last.
But he has so much fun biting into me and after that…
…
It’s the beast model of the all-mate. Paired with his master’s mind, the beast loves playing with its spoils.
No matter how much he bites me I can’t become accustomed to the shock. It’s impossible.
Anyone with a body would feel that, the instinctive fear.
T: Aoba, you’re completely afraid.
A: Uu…
Like usual, Trip sits on the bed and watches me as he reaches his hand to the table full of sweets.
He scoops up a bunch of cream onto his finger and then drags it up my leg.
A: !!
He smears the cream over my cock and a little lower, completely wetting the spots.
A: Sto…!!
T: Hey, I have to make you pretty.
He says that as he licks the cream from his finger.
The lion holding me down lets out a short growl and he starts licking my lower body with his hard tongue.
A: I.. AAAhhh…!!!
My body screams with pain as he licks that spot thoroughly.
He must be going easy on me but still…!
A: Ah, hur… u ku… it hurts…!
Even if I wanted to escape, Trip his holding my ankles so I can’t.
The lion is licking me at a slow pace but at the same time torturing me with a terrible pain.
My tears water and my voice comes out deep from within my throat.
T: Aoba, it looks like it hurts.
He says that smiling, and dips his fingers into the cream again.
He suddenly puts that finger deep inside of me.
A: Ah…!
Without holding back Trip moves his finger relentlessly inside of me.
There is more liquid there because of the cream and the lion’s spit, a surprisingly loud wet noise echoes.
I feel like I’m being stirred up more than usual….
A: N Ahh… ha…
Trip thrusts his fingers in and out of me and by the sound I can tell that the cream and spit are falling out of me.
T: It’s bubbling here. You’re erotic, Aoba.
A: …
Trip does sound like he’s having fun, but I’m not.
But because my body is used to it no matter how rough Trip is, it likes it.
I move my hips more and more and am filled with a huge sense of self-hatred and shame.
I have no idea what is going on with my body…
I can’t register what I’m feeling.
T: It seems pretty good about now… Belta.
A: !
T: We have to spread it a little more
A: No…!!
That’s…!
Trip takes his finger out of my bubbling insides as I struggle.
The lion hangs over me and Trip holds my hips so that I can’t escape.
A: No, ah, sto…. Trip!!
T: Noope.
The lion puts strength into its limbs that are holding me down and his nails, like pins, drill into me.
My body is holding an unbearable weight over it…
A: AAAAhh…!!
I’m attacked with a strong sense of cutting pain and my voice devoid of sound drips out.
A: IAAhhh… Ahh…!!
A breath so hot it’s not a human's falls onto me along with spit.
The lion’s claws are digging into me so hard that if I struggle they’ll pierce my skin.
T: If you struggle too much you’ll get hurt. Be mature okay?
I can’t hear Trip’s restraint.
A: U ku… Ua….
My body is creaking and hurting.
Or maybe my heart is cracking.
Really more than the pain in my body…
Even if it is an all-mate, I get the feeling that I’m being oppressed by something strong and inhuman.
Who would imagine that I would end up in such a situation?
When he first attacked me I was assailed by an honest shock.
He completely trampled my pride, it was a shock so heavy that it startled me.
It was like I missed a step on the path I was walking on… and I got the feeling I was being pushed into a dark hole.
A: Haa… U u… hi…
The sound of the lion continuously growling in my ears just hurts and hurts… I want him so stop soon.
Soon….
…I want to be released.
A: I… gu u… I’m sor…. …
My tears are streaming down my face and from between my clenched teeth I mutter an apology.
I don’t even know what I’m apologizing for.
I just want him to let me go. I want him to stop.
A cold sweat is pouring from my whole body and my whole body feels like it’s pulsing.
I feel like I could spit all my blood out of my mouth.
The lion growls deeply and starts licking my neck.
The fear swells up when I feel his tongue against the sensitive skin.
A: Aaaa…!! Forgive me….!!
If I was in a normal situation I would just ask to be killed.
But in this situation I don’t have the chance to ask for that.
I’ll do anything if they just stop.
I don’t have any embarrassment or pride left.
T: Is it hard, Aoba?
A: …
Trip finally reacts after keeping quiet and I nod with all my might.
Trip reaches out his hand and strokes my hair.
T: You want me to stop?
A: Sto… …!
As I start to talk he cuts off all my words by pulling on the chain around my neck.
There’s fear and pain, but before that I just feel shock.
A: …
Trip looks at me expressionlessly.
That face looks more fearful to me than the beast above me.
Trip then smiles slowly and lets go of the chain.
T: Just bear with it a little more, Aoba.
T: That’s what I thought, but it seems like enough. …Belta.
At his name being called, the beast gets off of me.
A: Hi ah…..
Finally released from his weight I collapse into the pillows.
I’m breathing so fast it hurts. My body is a mess and strength won’t enter me anywhere.
My body is hot like something is burning inside.
T: The back seems okay already… then, it’s my turn.
I twist my body like crazy but Trip holds my legs and moves them around.
He tugs on my thighs and my upper body flips on the sheets.
I hear the sound of something metal unfastening and then Trip enters me slowly.
A: U… ha….
I feel the heat of being entered and I moan lightly.
There’s no pain from him spreading the inside of me and Trip enters me without any trouble.
My body starts to feel hot, as though it’s relieved to feel the normalcy of him entering me.
… It’s weird to say relieved.
Because it was Trip who was just putting me through all that pain.
Even so, to feel relieved that he’s penetrating me.
… I’m caught in a trap. A trap I can’t escape from.
T: You’re spread wide. I entered so easily. But you must close properly, Aoba.
Trip laughs in his throat and starts to thrust into me.
A: Ah… Ahh….
I feel the pleasure of suddenly getting what I wanted well up inside of me.
The feeling of Trip thrusting into me is frighteningly pleasing.
I’m wrapped up in a strange feeling of floating from the pleasure, and I let out my voice from my nose.
T: Until now you were crying from the pain, what happened?
A: …
My cock starts to get hard after being licked by the lion, and Trip grabs onto it tightly.
A: Ah… n… …
The lion, sitting on the side, licks my chest.
Up until now I was afraid of the scraping pain that that tongue gave me but I can barely feel it against the pressure of Trip thrusting into me.
… It’s always like that.
The lion will attack me and in the middle it will change to Trip.
I’ll be assailed with such a strong pain that I won’t even be able to tell who it is attacking me.
But then it feels like Trip rescues me from this pain.
I end up mixing up his feelings with actual kindness.
…But it’s wrong.
This is all arranged by him. That’s why there’s no way he could be kind.
Even so….
A: Ha ahh ah… n… ah….
Compared to the torture before, the pain ends up feeling like extra pleasure.
I’m bewildered by the fact that my body can accept Trip this much.
But… it won’t stop.
T: … …
A: Fu u… ah Aah…!
T: …See.
Trip mutters as he sighs and lifts my leg so that my thigh is resting on his shoulder.
Because of that my hips become glues to him and Trip enters me deeper.
Trip’s physique is better than Virus’.
Because my body has gotten so thin, there are times where I feel like Trip is really huge.
Right now I feel like that. I’m scared that he might smash my body into pieces.
T: It was just hurting you, but now you’re feeling it this much.
T: I guess there is a place of Aoba that can accept depravity and pleasure.
T: You understand, right? Look.
A: Ahh…!
Trip pulls on my leg and kisses my knee while thrusting deeply inside of me.
As he pounds me relentlessly many times I end up letting out a loud voice.
… “It was just hurting you, but now you’re feeling it this much.”
At those words I well up with shyness even now.
But… I can’t deny it.
Right now I am truly feeling a lot of pleasure because of Trip.
So much so that even if he tore at me with a knife I would think it felt good.
That’s how much I’m rolled up in pleasure.
T: … ….
A: Ah ah… haa…!
As he thrusts into me, in and out, a wave of numbness starts to spread from my toes to my fingertips.
Sometimes the lion licks my body and Trip will stroke my cock.
My body accepts those stimulus openly and I get harder and harder.
It becomes white inside my head and I can’t think anything.
T: Aoba, does it feel good?
A: Ua… ah…!
T: Are you gonna cum?
The face of Trip asking me that in a hot breath makes heat rise up in me. But he doesn’t look affected at all.
It’s just that excitement is shining bright in both of his eyes.
He guessed that I’m close to the edge, and Trip thrusts into me at the place where he knows it feels best.
A: Ah ya… Hii ah…!
T: N…
Trip takes hold of my twitching and dripping cock and strokes it hard.
As he does so, he thrusts into me more and it feels better and better.
A: Haa ah… Au Faa…!
T: It’s okay, cum first.
He’s pounding me so hard that a sound emanates from us and Trip violently pulls the chain at my neck.
A sudden pain cuts off my breathing and mixes with the pleasure…
A: Nahh u… i… Hi ahhh…!!
White fluid gushes out of me as though something is pulling it out.
A: Ha… …fu…
My body shakes over and over, and the cum drips from my tip.
After I cum, Trip starts to move even faster inside of me.
T: You came, Aoba. Did it feel good?
A: ….
T: But I’m not ready yet, so keep with me for a little longer.
A: …!
Even though I just came Trip twists my cock hard between his fingers.
It’s such a sharp feeling that I shake a little bit but it hurts. My body pulls away on its own.
A: No, let go… your han….!!
Even if I ask him to stop, Trip won’t release me.
T: … …
A: AAaahh…
I let out a voice that sounds like I’m crying, the feelings shooting through me like electricity.
But even though he’s teasing me painfully like this I can feel the heat starting to build in me again.
Without letting go of me, Trip starts moving faster.
A: …
…It’s no good.
It’s already, no…
With this much my body…
This body will…
T: … …..
Trip gasps a little bit.
He shakes me to his hearts content and my sweaty back slides against the sheets many times.
I just came so it’s not like I can cum again so soon but it’s true that his assault is making me feel good again.
T: …I’m… gonna cum soon, Aoba.
A: …
T: ….
Trip says those words like usual in a hot voice and stops moving.
T: N…!
I hear the sound of him holding his breath…
And I know that that heat spreading inside of me is his.
A: Ah…..
T: Ha…. ….
Trip breathes in and out deeply while looking at me.
That expression is a little impish and hot looking and he smiles and he wipes his hand wet with my cum on my stomach.
Suddenly, a sweet smell wafts towards me.
It must be coming from the table piled high with sweets.
I think that faintly and Trip pulls out of me.
A: N…
T: Uwa, how indecent. Aoba.
He tells me laughingly as I lie on the bed devoid of strength.
Trips line of sight is focused on the place between my legs.
If I put a little strength into it even I can tell that something is spilling out from inside of me.
Trip stretches out his arm and he scoops the fluid out of me with his finger.
T: The melted cream and mine is mixing, which is which. It’s spilling out.
A: …
I hear those lines in a haze.
No matter what he says I can’t feel anything.
My heart and body are worn… so much that I could sleep right now.
I’m dazed like a doll and something touches my skin.
Trip touches his fingers to my cheek and then pulls on the chain around my neck hard.
T: Aoba, I love you. The two of us will teach you more about the Aoba you don’t know about.
T: Let’s play much more from now on. I’m looking forward to it.
A: …
Trip smiles thinly.
That hasn’t changed even a little from the time in Kyuujuuminku….
…Ahh.
I can’t escape any more.
When I think that it’s like a puzzle piece falling into place.
Nothing has changed between Virus and Trip.
The past and now, no matter what position I’m in.
Basically, no matter what happens to me these two won’t change.
They were like this from the beginning.
That’s why the situation I’m in right now…
I have no other choice but to just give in.
I just realize that now as the sweet, sweet scent wafts over me…
And I smile a thin, self-depreciatory smile.