dug gone wild

    Today
    Dug Swank
    You seem to be missing the fact the most of people I consider friends are a 2-3 hour drive away from me. I have driven there often, but recently not as much as I am actually trying to have more money for grad school.


    Kelson Heermans

    You're missing my point.


    Dug Swank
    I don't have $45 to toss into gas money just to go have a good time everytime.

    what is your point?

    Kelson Heermans    That you are choosing to isolate yourself. Even if you aren't visiting people you are doing things to push people away. If you don't want to be alone, stop doing that to yourself.


    Dug Swank    so how do I visit friends without spending money I need for school?

    why is it impossible for people I consider friends to come East?

    maybe it's unfair that I'm the one who has to drive home alone every fucking time

    Kelson Heermans    Why, in a world of phones, texting, voip, facebook, letters, and the internet would you have to speak to someone only face to face? Yeah, people don't visit you as much as you would like, but you can still talk to people. And when was the last time you asked someone to visit you? And if you are pushing people away in any case, why would people visit you? They assume you don't like them and leave you the fuck alone.

    Dug Swank    last week I was in a bar with a group of people and I actually witnessed all 7 of them looking at their cellphones.

    Kelson Heermans
    and?

    Dug Swank
    I laughed

    Kelson Heermans    What's that have to do with anything?

    I mean it's funny but still.

    Dug Swank    I have invited Mike & Natalie, Patrick & Thead, Kyr et al for the past 4 years

    no one was interested

    Kelson Heermans    When was the last time?

    Dug Swank    I didn't invite you since you're in Columbus (I think)

    Kelson Heermans    and you can still talk to people and friends, even not in person.
    Dug Swank
    11:12pm
    Dug Swank

    When Natalie invited me to the Maple Festival and I had work, I said they could come east

    well, many times when I try to speak why thead, he doesn't reply

    when I talk with you, it is typiclaly how I'm fucking up something

    Kelson Heermans    You can try talking to me about things other than how you are fucking up.

    Dug Swank    so, I posted a few times I'm going back to grad school and you've been silent about that

    Kelson Heermans    That's not the same thing as reaching out to me and talking to me, and you know it.

    Dug Swank    and when last did you reach out to me?

    Kelson Heermans    You're doing things to isolate yourself and push people away, and then blame people when they get pushed away.

    Dug Swank    seems roads go both ways

    it seemed to me you didn't want to be in contact

    a year ago I asked if you would do some art, and you didn't reply

    Kelson Heermans    Says the guy who didn't even say goodbye to me at anthrocon, even though I deliberately tried to make it so you could. The guy who was leaving early without telling anyone else.

    Dug Swank    you were the one person I did say goodbye to. I don't know why you didn't hear it.

    but yeah, I'm the fuck up, thanks

    Kelson Heermans    I'm sorry I miss messages and don't get them? plus iirc you found someone to do that before I got a chance to do anything.

    no, you didn't.

    I came back to the room, said hi, waited, you said nothing and kept watching tv.

    Dug Swank    you're right, I'm stupid

    have a nice night

    Kelson Heermans    I eaited a few more minutes, and started showering, and then you left while I was showering.

    *waited.

    This is the shit I am talking about.