Sea Serpent Shenanigans

>You were adrift in gentle azure waves, the dot of land starting to recede into the horizon
>Your best fishing spot was a good distance away which meant a lot of rowing
>With no better way to pass the time you sung an old sea shanty in rhythm with your oars
>At peace with the small swells and falls in the shifting waters, you relaxed into the nautical melody
>That is until a massive inky silhouette pushed underneath your little vessel, the shape cloudy and indistinct
>For a second your song faltered, but recognizing the imposing shadow you made a point of resuming the lyrics
>A small wake brought on by the submerged creature larger than any whale wobbled the boat before something breached the surface in a spray of salt water
>Rising further and further was a long sleek body colored much like the ocean only with a greener complexion and interrupted by currents of red scars
>A sight that would make any sane man pray for mercy descended a few feet from you as the great finned head bared it’s endless rows of fangs in a toothy grin
>”Hey there sailor, come here often?”
>It was her again
>”Of course I do, this is the best fishing spot.”
>Close enough to feel her hot briny breath she batted her eyes at you while you made great efforts to ignore her gaze
>”Oh, and here I thought you came to visit me! I just adore that siren call of yours.”
>With a grumble you try to keep rowing past her, but she effortlessly keeps pace with your sluggish ship
>”Well no need to hurry, I’ve been gorging on enough fish today to know you’ll have plenty to catch. How about you continue that little song while we wait?”
>Stubbornly you continue your futile attempt to outspeed her
>In response to your cold shoulder she brings her head to the bow of your ship, stretching her lethal maw inches from it
>”You know I could make a little noise ripping this boat from under you…”
>With a sigh you gave into her demands, belting out the interrupted verse loud enough to carry over the sea
>Immediately she cooed softer than you thought possible, content to listen once again
>”Y’know I’d try to listen to you from a distance, but I think you could spot me from any distance I could appreciate that sweet voice.”
>Eventually as you rowed closer to your destination, she shut her eyes and sang along quietly while swinging her long neck to your words
>As unwelcome as she could be, it was admittedly nice having such an appreciative audience
>Yet as she relaxed, it seemed like something inside her shifted with an ominous growl that echoed menacingly into the cold depths
>With a bit of strain on her face, she let a grunt of effort out before rejoining your shanty
>It sounded like a distressed band was still playing feverishly as their ship sunk below the water, the deep vibrations mercifully muffled by leagues of water
>”Aaah, maybe I shouldn’tve eaten that sunken whale, looked a little old to me.”
>As soon as she finished her unintentional warning a torrent of almost hazy and sickeningly discolored bubbles erupted below
>The force her fishy fumes popped with rocked the boat violently from underneath, larger cannonball sized spheres that missed the underside of your vessel breaking to release a swelteringly humid haze engulfing your voyage like tropical fog
>As someone accustomed to the smell of fishmongers, it was a testament to the atrocity rising above the waters that you gagged and stopped singing
>The unforgiving odor of fermented whale blubber and acrid cod drowned in molten sulfur made choking on water a preferable alternative to the tainted air burning your throat
>Her sigh of relief morphed into one of disappointment as you stopped
>”Come on now, can’t a lass pass a little gas?”
>Unamused you choked out
>”No lass produces something that could sink a ship!”
>She rolls her aquamarine eyes before drawing uncomfortably close
>”Well if you can’t handle that I don’t know how you’re going to tie the knot with me.”
>Defiantly you call back
>”I’m married to the sea!”
>She laughs before putting on an exaggerated frown
>”I know there’s a lot of fish in the sea but how come I’m not good enough?”
>Entirely ignoring the fact she was a giant sea serpent, it might have a little to do with the underwater volley she tried (and failed) not to show on her face she was releasing
>Holding on tight, more of her vile vapors shook your footing and mercilessly marauded any breathable air in a great cloud around you
>”Woman I’m shocked dead fish aren’t rising with that one!”
>She grinned playfully
>”One? Oh there’s a silent one on it’s way shortly.”
>True to her word the water was brought to a boil of countless small frothing bubbles, each contributing another layer of hellish flatulence to engulf you
>The other two releases were pleasant breezes compared to this diabolical wave of putrid whale guts
>”Did you, urgh, did you ever think your flirting might work better holding it in?”
>She lifted her head in feigned arrogance
>”Look at me, I think I’m too good for a wee bit of indigestion. Well I bet you didn’t even know this is me holding back, I’m so bloated it’s a pain to dive. I don’t know how your standards can be so high living out in the middle of nowhere on that tiny island.”
>Taken aback as your eyes watered from the sinister smog overtaking your airways you spoke up
>”How do you know that?”
>She looked in the direction you came from casually
>”You think I haven’t checked? You’re my favorite catch, I had to find out if you had a missus.”
>Unsure how to feel about this you let her continue with a wicked smirk
>”In fact I went digging around the base of the place, there’s a nice little cave under the water. I think I might just move in as your neighbor.”
>Shocked to hear that, you only shook out of it recognizing the slight lighter color of the shallow waters marking your fishing spot
>”Look we can talk about this later, let me fish in peace.”
>She considered your proposal for a moment
>”Fine, but I’ll leave you with a little parting gift.”
>Pursing her lips, she swiveled towards your head
>Bracing yourself for a slobbering kiss, you fell for her bait hook, line, and sinker
>Stealthily she had risen her monstrous blowhole mere inches from the surface
>Halting right in front of you she yelled out before groaning
>”Fire in the hole!”
>Like a steam geyser her beastly release broke through the thin stretch of water hard enough to send massive ripples in all directions while the unrestrained stream of gas exploded into the air with a reverberating fury
>You held on for dear life as your rowboat shook madly, all while she was close enough you could hear her moan in pleasure and watch her massive body shake in relief
>As the seconds ticked by and her inhuman release kept going, you could feel yourself sweat and retch as the thunder on a cloudless day raged on
>Slowing down to a purr only after what felt like ages, you eventually felt the raging waters calm underneath you
>While you struggled to desperately process the polluted substitute for oxygen, her dark slimy tongue lolled out as she gave a rapturous exhale
>”Heavens above that one felt good! I’m sure you’ll have something to smell and think of me for hours to come.”
>Retreating back into the depths she left you with one last thing before her jaws dipped below the waves
>”Don’t think I won’t be back for your return performance!”