just_fuck_already.txt

just_fuck_her_already.txt

01

I found a girl with long, straight black hair decorated with a flashy hair band adorning her perfectly proportioned face as she stared back at the gawking students with unusually large, black, determined eyes adorned with long, fringed eyelashes, her soft pink lips tightly pursed.
I was dazzled by Haruhi’s snow-white skin. A striking beauty stood before me. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one.

The next day, she would walk in with a ponytail, looking flawless from every angle. The way it looks so perfect on her is almost more than I can bear. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one. (Not in the anime)

But damn, she was hot… I mean, let’s move on. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one.

When I turned around in rage and indignation, I found Haruhi standing and grabbing my collar with—for the first time ever—a smile reminiscent of a blazing sun in an equatorial sky. If you could take the temperature of a smile, hers would have matched the climate in the middle of a rain forest. [...] Haruhi looked at me with her eyes shining as brightly as Alpha Cygni. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one.

“This room is now our club room!” Haruhi proclaimed in a dignified fashion, throwing her arms into the air. Her face was painted with a divine smile. I decided not to voice my opinion that seeing such a smile on her face in the classroom every day would be a good thing. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two.

“Be sure to meet in this room after school from now on. You had better show up! If you don’t, heads will roll.”
She said this with a smile like cherry blossoms in full bloom. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two.

“No worries!”
Haruhi, with a bright smile free from any sense of responsibility, firmly brought her hand down onto Asahina’s small shoulder.
“I just came up with a name!” – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two.

Haruhi was hovering over her desk with a stellar smile like a preschooler receiving a present she’d been waiting for. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two.

Don’t talk about Haruhi like she’s some kind of rare insect. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter five. (Not in the anime)

Why does everyone like Haruhi so much? She’s an eccentric, bossy, self-centered girl who causes trouble for everyone around her. How does she warrant the attention of some grandiose organization? I do have to admit she’s easy on the eyes, though. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter five. (Not in the anime)

It was the first time I’d ever seen Haruhi look so defeated, but her crestfallen face was surprisingly cute. She doesn’t even need to smile. As long as she has an ordinary expression on her face, she’s pretty attractive. Really, it’s such a waste. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter five.

As I looked at her from the side, I become newly aware of the softness of the curves of her face. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter seven.

Stuck in a world all alone with a girl I know and I end up kissing her. Freud would have a field day with this. Did I really have a dream that’s such an easy read?
Gah, I want to hang myself this very second!
I should probably be grateful that Japan eliminated the right to bear arms. If an automatic handgun had been within my reach, I would have popped myself in the head without hesitation. If it had been Asahina, I could have picked at my honest desires within the dream. But it was Haruhi, of all people. What the hell was my subconscious thinking about?
I sat wearily on my bed and threw my arms over my head. If it was a dream, it was the most realistic one I’d ever had. My right hand was covered in sweat and I could still feel a warm sensation on my lips. – The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter seven.

*

02

As Haruhi Suzumiya spoke, her face was shining with resolve, like Hannibal deciding to cross the Alps during the Second Punic War. – The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one.

Haruhi crossed her arms with a cheery look on her face. A sight rarely seen in the classroom. Her SOS Brigade–only smile. Whenever Haruhi smiled like this, I ended up having to run around cleaning up after each disaster. Was I the opposite of the straw millionaire? – The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two.

“Kyon, we’re going to be busy.” Without even saying good morning, Haruhi slammed her locker shut and turned to me with a smile like Indian summer. – The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two. (Not same scene as pic)

I forced myself to look away and focused instead on Haruhi smiling like a colorful flower blooming in the jungle. – The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two.

I didn’t know what costume she was putting her in, but she could just wear it herself. She could probably give Asahina a run for her money in the looks department. Did she never consider making herself the star of the movie? – The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two. (Not in the anime)

*

03

Haruhi’s bright shining face was 100 percent smile and practically touching me. I reflexively took half a step back. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya,  The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya.

Haruhi Suzumiya said this with a look on her face like she was a grade schooler on Christmas Eve. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody.

While Nagato continued to read Western books in silence, Koizumi returned to playing chess by himself, and I memorized whole chunks of English translation, Haruhi spent the entire time sitting next to the window and looking up at the sky. I can’t deny that she looks good if she keeps her mouth shut and stays still. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody.

Haruhi was standing there with eyes that shined like a spectroscope. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome.

Koizumi respectfully accepted the armband before turning to me and winking. Just to be clear, I’m not jealous of you or anything. Why would anyone want a novelty item like that?
[...]
And it’s not like I’m sulking because I wasn’t named deputy brigade chief. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome.

She was smiling that peerless smile which tended to show up when she was making trouble for us. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome.

I turned to find that Haruhi had a smile on her face like a bogus movie producer who had just squeezed a large sum of money from a stupid sponsor. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome.

“That would be the manor,” Haruhi’s conspicuously loud and lovely voice boomed through the air, stabbing my heart like thunder. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome.

However, Haruhi smiled a blindingly brilliant smile. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome. (Not in the anime)

Haruhi promptly dropped the invisible good girl mask. Then she flashed that brilliant smile she rarely showed outside the club room. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome.

The high-flying and audacious Haruhi Express smiled. – The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya, Remote Island Syndrome. (Not in the anime)

*

04

Haruhi tossed her book bag aside after shutting the door behind her and glared at us with eyes that shone as brightly as the three stars of Orion’s belt. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

She had a smile on her face that reminded me of a Cheshire cat. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

Haruhi smiled like a nice girl passing out candy to the neighborhood kids as she placed the Christmas paraphernalia on the table. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

Haruhi paid no heed as she smiled like a grade-schooler who had no certification but cooked like a pro. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

And where is she, anyway? As she goes on with her life without a care in the world while I’ve been hung out to dry…
Where is Haruhi?
Where are you?
Show yourself. This is stressing me out.
“… Damn, why do I have to look for her?”
Or what, you’re no longer here, Haruhi?
Give me a break. I have no idea why I feel this way, but nothing’s going to happen until you show up. It’s unreasonable to leave me by myself to sigh in melancholy. What are you thinking?
I felt like a slave carrying a gigantic boulder up a slope for the construction of a pyramid as I stared up at the cold, overcast sky from my vantage point in the corridor between buildings. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one.

I considered saying hello to the old landlord for a moment before abandoning that idea. The glass window to his office was shuttered, and the lights were off. He had probably gone to bed.
I would love to do the same. Or at least start dreaming. She was probably capable of entering other people’s dreams without even trying.
“You’re always making trouble for me whether you’re around or not, so you could at least show up when it matters. How about listening to one of my wishes for a change…”
As I talked into the night sky, I was given a sudden jolt as I realized the hateful thought going through my mind. I had an urge to smack my head against a hard surface.
“You gotta be kidding me.”
My words formed a white puff that dissipated into the air.
I missed Haruhi. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter two.

With plenty of questions and no answers, I headed for school. The overcast sky had people glancing up to check for flakes of snow. We might have a white Christmas this year. The weather would suggest that we’ll have accumulation if it snows. I hadn’t been paying attention to how much snow we’d gotten the past few years, but this year’s winter was more than cold enough for snow. Haruhi would be happier than a kid in a candy shop as she planned a winter event. If Haruhi were here. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

What if there was a different SOS Brigade at Kouyouen Academy, with members to replace me and the others…
That thought made my organs churn. She’d have no more business with Asahina, Nagato, Koizumi, and me. That would reduce me from a minor character to a complete outsider. Anything but that, seriously. Who do I have to pray to? Christ, Buddha, Muhammad, Mani, Zoroaster, Lovecraft, anyone will do. I’m willing to believe any myth or folk legend if it removes this anxiety. I’m willing to join one of those shady cults if that’s what it takes. A drowning person will grasp at any straw, even if it leads to his sinking in a swamp. I was finally able to understand that sentiment.
I was consumed by irritation, impatience, and gloom for the next ten minutes or so.
“Whew…”
I wasn’t entirely sure of the reason behind that sigh. Why would I express myself in such a clear fashion?
There she was.
A face I wouldn’t forget for the rest of this lifetime was mixed in with the crowd of black blazers and school uniforms shooting out of the gate.
Her hair was long. Down to her waist, as long as it had been on the first day of school when she paralyzed the entire classroom with her unexpected introduction. After a brief moment of bemused staring, I counted on my fingers to check what day of the week it was. Today wasn’t the day to wear her hair straight. I would guess that she wasn’t changing hairstyles in this world.
The Kouyouen Academy students were passing by on my left and right as they shot me annoyed looks. I wonder what they thought of this boy from another school standing still in the middle of the path. Not that I really cared. I didn’t have time to care.
I remained frozen in place as I watched the blazer-clad girl approach.
Haruhi Suzumiya.
Finally—I found you. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

The familiar sight of a smile blossoming on her face. The first smile I’d ever seen from Haruhi. The hundred-watt smile she’d displayed during English class when she came up with the idea of starting the SOS Brigade. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

The name came from an aunt, and my sister spread it around. Still, why does Haruhi’s abuse feel so comforting? It hasn’t been that long. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

Haruhi stuck her head through the door with a dazzling smile on her face as she shouted.
“What are you doing? Hurry it up!” – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

Haruhi struck a triumphant pose in a plain white T-shirt and my track pants, with her long hair blowing in the wind. As I watched her, I suddenly recalled a certain sight that I kind of wanted to see again.
“Hey, you up for going ponytail?”
Haruhi gave me a blank look.
“Why?”
No real reason. Just an issue of personal preference.
Haruhi snorted, though she didn’t seem to have a problem with the idea.
“It may look simple, but it’s actually difficult to do a ponytail correctly.”
As she talked, Haruhi reached into the pocket of the black jacket on the ground, pulled out a hair rubber band, and began deftly tying her long black hair behind her head.
“Well, I look more like an athlete this way. Is that good enough?”
Perfect. Your charm has gone up thirty-six percent in my eyes.
“Stupid.”
Haruhi always pretends to look angry when she doesn’t know how to react. I’ve learned well. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

Haruhi’s arms were also bare, but she had a smile that appeared to blow the cold away. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

Once I finished changing to my indoor shoes, I began looking around for a pair or two of guest slippers that might happen to be lying around, but Haruhi had no qualms about opening a nearby locker and withdrawing indoor shoes belonging to some unknown North High student.
Her behavior was classic Haruhi, which might have been the reason I had a creepy smile on my face without realizing it. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

“Are you the only one who’s come to visit?”
“What about Haruhi?” would have been the next words out of my mouth, but I stopped myself. However, Koizumi still chuckled. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter six.

I stretched my arm out from its position on the bed and touched her angry-looking face with my fingertips.
Hair that wasn’t long enough for a ponytail. A painfully familiar sight. Her black hair shook in a teasing way. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter six.

Still, your loud voice is better than any medicine right now. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter six.

Haruhi’s yelling was sweet music to my ears. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter six.

Haruhi glared at me before bursting into a surreal smile. She’s so simpleminded. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter six.

Haruhi’s eyes were shining like prisms as she stabbed her finger at me again. – The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter six.

*

05

I looked in the direction Koizumi was pointing to see Haruhi walking over like an emperor penguin bringing food to its chicks, with a wide smile on her face. Asahina and Nagato trailed after her like servants accompanying a princess who was running away from the castle. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight. (Not in the anime)

Haruhi, who probably had fewer worries than those grade-schoolers, was in top gear as she turned her shining eyes toward Koizumi and me. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight.

I couldn’t bring myself to feel angry after seeing the look on Haruhi’s face. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight.

Haruhi was sound asleep. I was tempted to draw on her face. Still, she looked her best when she was asleep, yeah? If only she would keep her mouth shut. If she swapped personalities with Nagato, that would be perfect. Well, a subdued Haruhi is one thing, but I can’t even begin to imagine a talkative Nagato whose moods swing all over the place.
A night breeze blew by as I watched Haruhi and Asahina sleeping side by side. Haruhi wasn’t surrendering anything to Asahina in terms of looks at the moment. Some might even rank her above. I guarantee it. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight.

“I don’t know what Suzumiya’s looking for, but why don’t we try this? Embrace her from behind without warning and whisper, ‘I love you’ into her ear.”
“Who’s supposed to do that?”
“Would anyone be more suited for the role than you?”
“I’m vetoing that idea. I pass.”
“Shall I give it a try instead?”
I had no way of seeing the look on my face at that moment, since I didn’t have a mirror handy. However, Koizumi could.
“I merely jest. I wouldn’t be able to fulfill the role. It would only serve to confuse Suzumiya.”
And with that, he began to chuckle in a grating tone. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight.

Our brigade chief tossed back her hair as she flashed a million-dollar smile at all of us and led us to the batting center along the railroad tracks. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight. (Not in the anime)

Haruhi was hogging the eighty-mph batting cage as she hit one fastball after another. She seemed to be enjoying herself so much that I found myself cheering up. This girl is really something. She must have a higher mitochondrial count than your average person. Wonder where all her energy comes from. If only she would use it for the greater good. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight.

Haruhi really enjoyed anything that was unnecessarily flashy. She had such an innocent smile when she was having a good time, and it made her look younger than her actual age, so I found myself averting my eyes. If I stare at her too long, I might get some weird ideas. Well, not that I know what those weird ideas might be. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight.

My room already felt cramped with five people plus my sister, and then my mother kept coming in with juice or lunch or snacks to make it feel even more crowded, but Haruhi, unlike the rest of us, who were engaging in so much wrist movement that carpal tunnel was imminent, appeared to be having a pretty good time. She had such a relaxed smile on her face. The smile you see higher-ups flash at lesser beings. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Endless Eight.

A girl stood there with her finely shaped lips in a wide smile and shining eyes directed toward the computer society members. Haruhi Suzumiya herself.– The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Day of Sagittarius.

I looked up to see Haruhi practically beaming at me. I’m no longer surprised by her ability to gloat before she’s actually accomplished anything. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Snowy Mountain Syndrome.

And I was doing my best to avoid looking at Haruhi and her blindingly brilliant smile. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Snowy Mountain Syndrome.

All the members were safely here in one piece, the snow was nice and powdery so there weren’t any complaints in that department, and the sky was clear and blue as far as the eye could see. Our brigade chief extended one arm with a smile that was as sunny as said sky. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Snowy Mountain Syndrome.

Haruhi blinked a couple of times before staring up at me in a daze. And then she flashed me an absolutely dazzling smile.
“Of course!” – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Snowy Mountain Syndrome.

Her eyes were shining bright enough for two or three spiral nebulas. – The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, Snowy Mountain Syndrome.

*

06

Taniguchi smiled unpleasantly, and Kunikida nodded with a self-satisfied smile, which grated on me, but I couldn’t find a retort. It wasn’t that I was afraid I’d be spotted by somebody inconvenient if we started hitting on girls, it was just, uh… just because. – The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya, Live Alive.

Her voice was clear and bright—so clear and so bright it could’ve reached to the moon. – The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya, Live Alive.

Haruhi smiled for the first time since taking the stage. She must have been nervous—or nervous by her standards, anyway—but it seemed the curse was finally broken, and while her smile wasn’t as bright as the one she always showed us in the clubroom, it was still a good fifty watts. – The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya, Live Alive.

Bafflingly, Haruhi returned to her seat with a complex expression on her face, and it stayed there as she daydreamed straight through the period. She disappeared from the classroom as soon as lunch started.
I wolfed down my lunch as I listened to Kunikida and Taniguchi make their excuses (“Yeah, man, there just weren’t any decent chicks at the festival. It’s this school’s crappy location, I’m telling you—it needs to be on flat ground.”), then shoved my lunch box into my school bag and vacated my seat.
For no particular reason, I just felt like taking a walk to digest.
After wandering around for a while, my feet brought me to the courtyard in the middle of the school. I veered off the path that would take me to the clubroom building and walked the patchy, balding lawn in the center. And there, who should I happen across but Haruhi, lying there on the grass. – The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya, Live Alive.

The volatile Haruhi smiled brilliantly and spoke in a high, excited voice. – The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya, Live Alive.

Haruhi turned and looked back, eyes glittering with all she was imagining, and she lengthened her stride into a run.
There was no helping it. I ran too.
Why, you ask?
Because it would be some time before Haruhi let go of my hand. – The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya, Live Alive.

*

07

 Wham. The door slammed open, kicked, and the main ingredient in all this chaos entered. Haruhi the omnipotent smiled with pointless energy, a convenience store shopping bag in her hand, her skirt and hair fluttering attractively. – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

The fantasy of saying, “Sure, that’s fine,” rocketed through my mind like a Bussard ramjet–powered spacecraft. The scene flickered, then disappeared: Asahina fresh from the bath, wearing pajamas borrowed from Nagato and bashfully toweling dry her hair, Nagato herself drinking a glass of milk, her hair still steaming—my memory went back to the two futons laid out in the spare room, and then for some reason it was all interrupted by Haruhi’s face, sticking her tongue out at me in my mind’s eye as I snapped back to reality. – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one.

Still, what was this mood? Having the person behind me quietly stare out the window was both nostalgic and strangely novel. If only Haruhi would be like this even half of her waking time…
“Morning, class!”
The morning bell hadn’t even finished ringing when Mr. Okabe came striding gallantly into the room.
I understood.
I understood that Haruhi’s melancholy would not last long. When I thought about it, this was the first concrete prediction that the time traveler had made. According to Asahina, Haruhi would drag us all into a treasure hunt, and we’d wind up walking all over the place. I’d be fine if Haruhi was like that the other half of her waking hours.
For good or ill, that was enough to make me feel at ease. – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter one.

I realized I was feeling strangely calm, which in turn worried me. Haruhi seemed to have returned to her old self, her eyes shining as she looked at me. That alone was enough to push aside all misgivings, and I suppose I felt reassured, or something like that.
In any case, it was always better when people cheered up. Whatever the reason. – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter three.

As Haruhi spoke, her smile was like the sun outshining the north wind or a child just about to go out and play. I wanted to tell her she needed to keep that smile on ready alert—but I stopped myself.
When I thought about it, I realized that I’d stopped myself because that was Haruhi’s usual expression. I’d been deceived by the bad mood she’d been in since the beginning of February. As to why I felt deceived—I had no idea. – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter four.

But as I watched Haruhi’s form recede along the road, bouncing merrily, two shovels in hand, I didn’t say the nasty things I was thinking. I didn’t know whether or not her strange silence in the classroom had been my imagination or not, but in any case, I was glad she was happy. When she got weirdly quiet like that, it just made me nervous that her internal power gauge was building up to an explosion. Huh? Why did it suddenly seem like I was monologuing to myself? – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter four.

Haruhi had her right arm around Nagato’s waist and her left around Asahina’s, as she grinned as brightly as a tropical flower. – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter five.

Haruhi’s smile was as brilliant as the heart of the Milky Way galaxy as seen through a powerful telescope. – The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, epilogue.

“Of course!” said Haruhi, her eyes shining as though the entire Pleiades was concentrated within them.– The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, epilogue.

*

08

Her pupils, shining with the force of whole galactic clusters, took in the shape of the lanky, bespectacled boy. – The Indignation of Haruhi Suzumiya, Editor in Chief, Full Speed Ahead!

“I guess.” Haruhi also looked out the window. She seemed to be looking up at the clouds, as though willing them to bring unseasonal snow. Eventually she turned back to me and smiled like a blooming spring flower. – The Indignation of Haruhi Suzumiya, Editor in Chief, Full Speed Ahead!

Strangely, the year had felt both long and short. It’s a secret, but I’m putting a circle on a day in April this year. It’s the same day as last year’s school entrance ceremony.
Even if everybody forgot, even if Haruhi herself forgot, it’s the anniversary of a day I’ll always remember.
I’m confident that so long as I live, I’ll never forget the day I met Haruhi.
So long as I don’t lose my memory, that is. – The Indignation of Haruhi Suzumiya, Editor in Chief, Full Speed Ahead!

I had no interest in the way her shirt fluttered up to reveal her belly button when she jumped. What had my attention was her expression. – The Indignation of Haruhi Suzumiya, Wandering Shadow.

So I was optimistic. I’ll be completely honest—next year, I hoped I got to sit in front of Haruhi again. If we got scattered, I’d probably feel the way I felt just before Christmas, when I’d discovered her disappearance. I’d be constantly wondering what she was getting up to.
On the other hand, I wondered if that might not be such a bad thing after all. Was that a self-contradiction? But again, just as Koizumi said, if that meant Haruhi’s powers were calming down, that would be good.
But wait—the truth is, I would feel a bit lonely. – The Indignation of Haruhi Suzumiya, Wandering Shadow.

*

09

Haruhi’s eyes glittered with their characteristic cosmic light. – The Dissociation of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

Haruhi smiled like a fluorescent light display at an appliance store and took up the lead as she began to walk. – The Dissociation of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

Her face was shining with a brilliance like the nuclear fusion of a triple star system.
I don’t think it could’ve gotten any brighter. – The Dissociation of Haruhi Suzumiya, prologue.

*

10

The truth was, if Haruhi tainted people, then I’d been thoroughly contaminated for a long time, and even if I could dump paint over myself to cover it up, I had less than a Golgi body’s diameter’s worth of inclination to do so. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter four.

Haruhi’s positive energy was something to behold. It was easy to imagine a cold virus packing up and skipping town when confronted with this power, if it had any sense of self-preservation at all. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter four.

I wasn’t irritated at her unilateral hanging up. She did that all the time. Her straightforward, one-way method of doing things was improving my spirits a little bit. Never change, Haruhi Suzumiya. If she weren’t the way she was, she’d never be able to lead a ridiculous group like the SOS Brigade. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter four.

She was probably the most selfish girl in the galaxy. I hoped she never changed. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter four.

Haruhi’s eyes were like a boiling undersea volcano. She really did act just like a geyser. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter five.

Haruhi sighed softly. “When I look at Yuki sleeping, I just wanna, like…” She hesitated for a moment, then lowered her voice. “I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but I just want to gather her up and hug her. It feels like if I don’t, she’ll just disappear. I know that’s not true, but still…”
Haruhi propped her head up with her hand. She didn’t look uneasy so much as vaguely irritated, and I felt as though I could see what she was feeling so clearly that I felt it a little bit myself. It was almost certainly in my imagination, though. And even if it wasn’t, it went without saying that there was no way I was going to give Haruhi a hug. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter five.

Compared with being stuck in the cave-in of my own thoughts, getting dragged around all of creation by the melancholic Miss Haruhi was a pleasure like unto a beam of light streaking through the center of the galaxy. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter five.

It felt as though she was just trying to say sort of generically inspiring things, but I couldn’t claim that they didn’t fit the occasion. Haruhi Suzumiya played things by ear, every time. If she couldn’t manage that this time, then who in the world could have?
I couldn’t help letting slip a pained smile. It was because Haruhi was like this that I sometimes…
With effort, I stamped the thought out. Dangerous—too dangerous. Even if the words had only existed in my mind, never to be vocalized, only ever heard by me, the very fact of them being so meant I couldn’t pretend not to have heard them.
Language was cognition. And if I became conscious of that, there was a real possibility that I could become aware of a notion that would pose mortal danger to a life I hoped would be a long one. It might have been cheeky of me, but at the moment I was determined to remain free of all ideologies or policies.
Consequently, I immediately canceled my train of thought, and decided to think about happier things—like the flower viewing party at Tsuruya’s villa, or my anticipation of a sequel to a video game I’d beaten.
“…”
Perhaps having caught me trying to hide something away in my mind, Nagato lifted her face smoothly up, then dropped her eyes back to the book.
“Aw…”
It was fine. It didn’t matter who knew—so long as it wasn’t Haruhi, the world would remain at peace. Still, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to let her know a little bit… or at least the thought occurred to me for a moment—sorry, I took leave of my senses for a second there. No, seriously. Seriously.
Sigh. Needing to make yourself listen to your own excuses would only result in years of agonizing experiences. The human brain is an ill-made thing, letting you remember with perfect clarity only those things you most want to forget. I hoped someone was nearing completion of the human felinization project—cats didn’t seem to worry much about the future at all. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter six.

*

11

“All you have to do,” said Haruhi, leaning in and getting right up in my face, her overwhelming smile making me think of some kind of radiation, “is just ask whoever wrote it!” – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter eight.

Somewhere along the line, Haruhi had changed significantly from her self of a year earlier. I’m remaining adamantly silent on the subject of her physical development, but mentally she was leaving her attitude from earlier behind, and ever so gradually, step by step, she was progressing, although even I had enough observational ability to tell it was happening slower than a sprinting Galapagos tortoise. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, chapter eight.

“Dammit…!” I leaned bodily out of the open window and reached out with my hands. She was too far to reach, but I still wanted to grab Haruhi. Even if it meant embracing her in a hug, I had to pull her back into the clubroom. I wanted to slap her face and wake her up.
And more than anything else, I would never forgive Fujiwara and Kuyoh for what they had done to Haruhi. I wouldn’t let them think they could get away with this. I was going to kill them both, I swore. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

In that instant, Haruhi began to slip free from the cross. With her head hanging down as she slumped over, she looked like a saint being freed from the bonds of crucifixion. The stone floor of the courtyard was directly under her, and headfirst, she began to fall.
“Haruhi!”
I didn’t think about anything. Not about consequences, memories, or any kind of duty or sense of righteousness. I didn’t need to. I just kicked off the window frame and jumped out into thin air, like I expected wings to sprout from my back. As though pushed by someone’s invisible lifting force, I caught Haruhi in my arms just as she fell. And then, naturally, pulled by gravity, we both fell. Headfirst.
Haruhi’s body was more delicate than I’d imagined. I’d never seriously embraced her like that before, so I’d never noticed.
But the sense of warmth, of softness, made me realize that this really was Haruhi. She was just a second-year high school student, in the bloom of her girlhood—just an ordinary girl.
This was the true form of sleeping beauty. Even if I died the very next moment, her name would live on, carved in history. The girl softly breathing in my arms was, beyond any doubt, Haruhi Suzumiya.
She was the real Haruhi. She wasn’t some illusion from Kuyoh, or a fake prepared in advance. To threaten me, Fujiwara was using the real Haruhi.
He really was serious. Fujiwara would really go that far. Was this what you wanted? You’d lay out your disturbing future, your desire not to lose Asahina, and you’d even go so far as to put Haruhi on your death list, just to bring the future you wanted to create into sight?
But all I could see was the form of the person right in front of me.
Koizumi, Asahina the Elder—I’m sorry. There’s nothing else in my eyes.
Haruhi Suzumiya.
Our brigade chief and the ruler of the clubroom. That arrogant, confident optimist. Happy to manipulate anyone or overcome anything, surging forward toward her goals like a bowling ball shot from a linear catapult. My only boss. She was all I could see.
Ah.
The ground was getting closer. Owing to her unconsciousness, Haruhi’s body was limp, and slightly feverish. It was just as Koizumi said. That delicate body with its curves right where you’d expect them, the surprisingly slender shoulders, the slight fragrance—I knew better than anyone else that this was Haruhi.
When humans fall from high places, they die. I didn’t have to guess at what my skull would look like after falling at this rate of gravitational acceleration and slamming headfirst into the stone pavement.
Had I been a little too hasty? At the very least I could’ve set up a mat on the ground, or strapped on a parachute—.
Of course, I didn’t have time for such introspection. The only thing I thought of was the faint notion of curling around Haruhi and putting myself between her and the ground to absorb some of the impact.
The sound of rushing air roared in my ears. I would be hitting the ground soon.
I closed my eyes. Tight.
I embraced Haruhi. As tightly and closely as I possibly could. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

But that was all right. However far we fell, we’d be together.
Darkness fell.
After a floating sensation, I felt free fall again. I put more strength into my arms, telling myself that Haruhi was the one thing I would never let go of. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

Still sprawled on the ground, I looked up.
“Haru…” I managed to say before becoming totally speechless. I can’t even remember if I rubbed my eyes or not.
There was Haruhi, looking somehow grown-up. Her hair was longer than I remember it being, and she wore a spring ensemble of soft, seasonally appropriate colors, perfectly matched to the cardigan over her shoulders. No, she couldn’t be this grown-up yet. The Haruhi I knew had only just started her second year of high school.
And yet the Haruhi before me was clearly several years past that. I mean, how should I put it? I can’t really say it right… but yes, she had clearly matured.
“What’re you doing? Hey…” This Haruhi smiled jokingly at me. It made me dizzy. “What do you think you’re doing, wearing that old uniform? Kyon… Wait—you seem kind of… young…?” she said, then turned around as though someone had called her.
“Huh?”
My vision started to dim again.
Someone was calling out to that Haruhi. Looking surprised, I heard her say “Huh? You’re over there—?” before turning back to me again. “Wha?”
I think she had an expression of shock on her face.
But my consciousness was rapidly fading. The figure of Haruhi standing on the lawn began to grow distant, as though it were being filmed by some kind of special camera move. I didn’t move, and neither did Haruhi—a distance merely opened up between us. Darkness began to close in around me. This was the door. The will of time was trying to return me to my original place.
The moment the walls of darkness closed completely, I could only see the shape of Haruhi’s mouth as she spoke.
—See you again, Kyon, her kind, beautiful smile said. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

After scanning the card, she closed her eyes and held the box tightly close. Somehow it felt like a sentimental breeze blew by, and then— – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

Haruhi was still looking down, smiling with tears in her eyes. She obviously didn’t care whether or not the window had actually been locked. The point was that I was there.
“Kyon”—Haruhi drew close to my face and whispered in my ear—“I’ll show you to the front door, so follow me and try not to make any noise.” Her breath tickled as she spoke, but I managed to deal with it. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

She held her present close and smiled a smile that would’ve outshone the full moon. Normally her grin blazed like a vast star, but this was like a peaceful moon, and it made me kind of… how can I say it? No, I couldn’t say anything. All I could do was gaze back at her. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

Haruhi looked back, then looked back again as she returned to her front door. “Take care on your way home. Koizumi and Kyon, you better make sure Yuki and Mikuru get home safe, got that? That’s an order from your brigade chief.”
She left us with those words, spoken at a surprisingly reasonable volume, then went back inside her house. She really was being considerate of both her parents and neighbors. I suppose she does have a cuteness to her. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, final chapter.

“Hey, Haruhi.” I wonder if I spoke up because as she turned sideways and looked out the window, her face was illuminated by the rays of sun in a way that made her look much more grown-up. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, epilogue.

I had to assume she’d gotten some crazy idea into her head during cleaning duty, as she beamed like a sunflower at the height of summer. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, epilogue.

Seeing her from behind, I immediately thought of the future Haruhi I’d seen in my vision.
Who had that Haruhi called out to, I wonder.
Was the person she’d turned around to face someone I knew? Or was it some third party I’d never met in my life?
If so, that hadn’t been a very nice vision—but when I realized what I was thinking, I forgot to feign shock, and simply accepted it. I couldn’t pretend otherwise, now.
But the future was not set. I hadn’t forgotten the new information, however vague, that I’d gleaned from Fujiwara and Asahina the Elder’s conversation. I didn’t know anything about changing history or diverging world-paths, but I knew that the future was something that split up, stuck back together, and changed.
I’d seen myself—if only for a moment, I’d been able to catch a glimpse of the future. I planned to remember it, and I would aim to be in that place. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, epilogue.

As I looked at her, her smile was so bright I thought I could feel my retinas burning. – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, epilogue.

Haruhi’s smile could’ve compressed the entire Taurus open star cluster—.
Her mouth opened so wide she could’ve swallowed the entire Red Sea—.
And in a high, clear voice, she proclaimed, “I now declare this strategy-planning meeting open!” – The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, epilogue.

*

She continued the impromptu declaration with an enthusiastic smile, so bright that you could feel the pressure starting to rise around her like a cyclone. – Random Numbers.

“These clothes look amazing, don’t they?!” Haruhi pointlessly puffed out her chest with a smile, brighter than the clothes she wore, that spread to all the corners of the heavens. – Random Numbers.

Even among such a crowd of people, her eyes shone like those of a mole that burst out from a snow field.  – Random Numbers.

Haruhi put one hand on my shoulder, its power causing a slight change in my lower region. – Random Numbers.