Cowboy Anon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cXsoRRYf5A
>Bleeding out in the fuckin' desert
>Again.
>With your target riding away on YOUR horse, laughing maniacally as he goes further and further
>Real smooth, cowboy.
>And this time, it didn't look like there were any do-gooders around to save your hide this time
>With a cough that spit up a little more blood than you'd have liked, you roll over onto your back to look up at the sky one last time
>No vultures around yet, but you knew they'd show up soon
>The bullet in your side burned like a thousand suns, but at this point you didn't care anymore
>With all the strength you had left (and after a few attempts), you manage to stand up, grabbing your signature hat and placing it right back on your head
>The Indian fucker you'd been sent to kill had been hiding out on this ranch with a few of his gang
>You and a couple other bounty hunters had stormed the ranch, engaging in an all out firefight
>By the end, everyone was dead except for you and the target, and he had bested you
>But instead of finishing you by shooting you in the head, he decided leaving you to bleed out in the desert would be more humiliating
>He would regret that, damnit!
>You stagger towards the ranch house, old revolver in hand
>You'd make sure of it!
>Stumbling past dead bodies, you move ever closer to the house
>This would not be the end of Anon!
>You pause for a second to look at your dead compadre, lying in the dust
>The steep pain of his wounds was still visible in his eyes and face, even if he no longer felt it
>Damn these Indians.
>After what feels like an eternity of staggering and stumbling, you make it to the ranch house door, and collapse through it
>With great effort you stand back up
>The remains of the family who once lived here lied before you, desecrated and scalped by the Indians
>Indian supplies were strewn about the house
>That idiot target of yours had obviously been in too much of a rush to grab some necessities before he left
>Ignoring the continuously stabbing pain in your side, you make your way to a crate lying on the floor
>There was something odd about this crate
>Perhaps it was the 3 pink butterflies emblazoned on it that came off as weird to you, but you had no time to ponder what they meant
>You remove the lid of the crate, and inside you see bandages (thank God!) among other healing supplies, and a porcelain statue of a horse with a note on top of it
>You quickly take the bandages and wrap them around you to stop the bleeding
>You've lost a lot of blood, but you were at least alive
>For now.
>With your impending doom delayed, you focus your attention on the porcelain horse stature in the crate
>You take the note off of it
>It reads "I SWEAR I SHALL PERSONALLY SCALP ANYBODY WHO TOUCHES THIS! DO NOT TOUCH"
>Do not touch, huh?
>You pick the statue up with one hand
>Fuck you, you smug Indian bastard.
>And with that, you hurtle the statue straight towards the floor
>As it breaks, there's an ungodly sound and a bright flash of light coming from the broken pieces
"AW, WHAT THE FUCK?"
>The last thing you see before blacking out is what looks like a door forming from the light released from the statue

>What the everliving fuck?
>You open your eyes, and you see blue
>And clouds
>Wait, weren't you just indoors?
>And something wasn't right
>The sky was a more beautiful blue than you'd ever seen
>And you were lying on something too soft to be the desert floor
>You look to the right and see that you're laying on.. grass?
>And there were trees in the distance!
>You quickly scrambled to your feet
>Holy shit, what?
>You were still caked in sand from lying on the desert floor, but there was no sand around you as far as the eye could see
>You take a moment to look around you
>There was a little town behind, and in front of you was a thick forest
>And to your left is a little cottage
>You obviously weren't in the American Southwest anymore.
>"Oooh, another human! And it's handsome buck, too!"
>In one fluid motion, you draw your trusty revolver and point it straight in the direction of the voice that just caught you off guard
>But all you can see down your sights is a... what the fuck?
>A short yellow pony with a pink mane, wings, and those 3 pink butterflies stamped to her flanks
"What in the goddamn?"
>"H-hey, I don't know what you're pointing at me, b-but I don't like it!"
>Did this horse just talk to you?
"What the- How are you talking to me? You're a horse!"
>A pathetic excuse for one at that, you couldn't ride her if you tried
>"Um, I'm a-actually a pony.."
>Great, she was a smartass too.
"I don't care what you are, where am I?"
>She regains her confidence
>"You're in Ponyville, handsome! And it's m-my job to greet any humans who might show up here, so please follow me."
"Wait, there's other humans here too?"
>"Y-yes, but not too many, and so far they've all been stallions. N-not that I'm complaining, handsome!"
>Was this little yellow horse trying to flirt with you?
>Well, you couldn't really think of anything else to do besides listen, so you holster your revoler and follow her into town
>Something wasn't right about this world, and you could tell
>A stallion was throwing out his mare on the street you were walking on
>He was throwing her stuff out the window while she pleaded with him not to do this
>You've seen this happen many times back on Earth, but it was always the woman kicking out the man
>All around you, things were literally reversed
>The mares were opening doors for stallions, and you could see mares everywhere having jobs that belonged to men
>You didn't like this one bit
>What the hell was going on here?
>So far no mare has tried any shit on you, but that might be because the yellow mare was trying her hardest to look tough and protective
>You couldn't help but smirk out how adorably pathetic it was
"Uh, Miss-?"
>"Call me Fluttershy"
"Right, Fluttershy, I don't need ya to act tough for me, Missy. I can handle myself."
>She looks baffled by this
>"U-uhm, what's your name again?"
"Names Anon."
>"Anon, you're just a stallion! Y-you need someone like me to protect you around here! You don't know what these mares are p-planning!"
>Right.
>Well, it was pretty cute to see her all tall and proud with her chest fluff out, so you might as well play along
>For now.
"Alright, alright, lead the way."
>She leads you to a restaurant, which you find kinda odd but you are hungry after all
>She goes to open the door for you, but before she get's the chance a streak of blue appears and opens it
>In front of you stands a light blue pegasus with a shock of rainbow colored mane flowing from her head
>"Hubba hubba, who's this handsome stallion?"
>Fluttershy shoves her chest fluff out as much as possible, and says "H-he's mine, Dash!"
>"A guy this cute? No way I'm letting you have him!"
>The two start scuffling, and you start laughing until you realize they're fighting over which one gets to keep you
>With a sigh, you unholster you revolver and fire a shot into the sky
>The loud crack gets both of their attention, and they comically look at you with shocked expressions while still on the ground in top of each other
"What in the goddamn are you two doin'? I'm a human, you're crazy if you think I'll sleep with any of ya!"
>Tears begin to well up in both of their eyes
>Well, you might as well finish what you start.
"I dunno what's wrong with this place, but it's crazy. Back where ah come from, the men would fight over the women! This happening here, it ain't right, and I don't like it one damn bit!"
"I'm a cowboy! I don't need any o' this! I've been in this crazy Equestria place for less than half an hour, and I already miss home! Horses didn't talk back there, and we rode them for miles!"
>The one with the rainbow colored mane puts a smirk back on her face
>"You can ride me for miles any time you want, Anon."
>She winks out you
>You stare back with cold fury and you're really tempted to shoot her, but causing a rucus on your first day in this new world wouldn't be good
>So instead you holster your revolver and walk away, fuming
>What did you do to deserve a crazy world like this?

>Everypony is baffled at what just happened
>You figured your comment about letting him ride you for miles would win him over, but you guess not
>But he was too handsome and rough to give up on
>Not too many stallions like him
>The bragging rights if you managed to snag Anon would be legendary
>Bragging rights weren't the only thing you wanted though, Anon was the perfect mate for you and you knew it
>He said he was a cowboy?
>Did that mean he liked.. cows?
>In that way?
>No matter, you'd just have to convince him that pony pussy was 10 times better than anything some dumb cow could ever offer
>You would win Anon over in the end, you knew it!

>You weren't sure where you were going
>All you knew is that you wanted to be away from those damn ponies!
>You pull your revolver out of it's holster, and carefully replace the one bullet you fired
>You didn't have a whole lot, but in a world where you seemed to be the only one with a gun it would be more than enough.
>Placing the gun back in it's holster with a sigh, you continue walking away from town
>After a while of walking aimlessly, alone with your thoughts and worries, you find yourself in a field of apple trees
>You never got to eat at that diner, so you grab an apple off a tree and take a bite out of it
>Sitting down, leaning against a tree, you continue to eat your apple
>Those damn Indians and their fucking voodoo shit.
>Finishing the apple, you throw it to the side
>You still had that damn bullet in your side, and it still hurt like hell
>The bandages were beginning to get soaked red
>You figured you'd just worry about it tomorrow
>You bring your signature dark green bandana with a black question mark on it over the lower half of your face, concealing who you are once again
>It's starting to get dark, and this spot against a tree is as comfortable a spot as you're gonna get out here
>You tip your hat to conceal the upper half of your face, and quietly drift off to sleep
>What a day..

>When you wake up, your hat is still tipped over your eyes
>You quickly stretch
>With a yawn, you tip your hat back up to a normal position to see..
>2 barrels aimed right at your face.
>So much for being the only one with a gun
>"Mornin' sugarcube."
>An orange pony with a cowboy hat not unlike yours was aiming a gun at you.
>Oh, for fucks sake.
"What do you want?"
>"Ah want to know who ya are and what yer doin' here, masked stranger. These are my lands."
>You were so sick of these fucking ponies.
"Yeah, yeah, sure, lemme just stand u-"
>As soon as you stand up and before you can finish your sentence, you rip your revolver out of it's holster, and spray wildly, fanning the hammer back with your left hand after every shot
>You were fast, but she was faster, quickly diving behind one of the many apple trees the moment she saw you reach for your gun
>Your shots hit nothing but trees and air
>"OH, AH SEE HOW YOU WANNA PLAY!"
>You realize you've missed completely, and move behind the tree you were sleeping against last night as she leaves cover to take a shot at you
>The shot rings out like a cannon, and bark from the tree you were taking cover behind flies off as the shotgun blast hits it
>Fuck!
>You were out of ammo in your pistol and there was no time to reload, so you holstered it and ran between the trees, hoping they would serve as cover
>As you run she takes another shot, the pellets whizzing past you but none hit their mark
>Your side was burning like never before, and you weren't sure how far you would be able to run
>You hear a curse behind you as your assailant realizes she missed, and you can hear her running after you now
>She's catching up though, her four legs apparently being faster than your two
>Look at you, running away from a damn pony!
>Granted, that pony had a double-barrel shotgun, but still
>Some bounty hunter you were.
>"Come back here, ya fool!"
>Nope, that wasn't happening.
>She was gaining ground on you though.
>Damn this pony, you weren't going down without a fight!
>You reach a small clearing in the sea of apple trees, and turn around, in a duel stance
>You draw your gun, and aim it towards the trees you'd just come from
>But the orange pony was nowhere to be found
>Odd...
>You take a look around, but she's not here
>Sensing oppurtunity, you break open the top of your Model 3 Schofield revolver to reload it
>But the moment you do, the orange pony comes barreling out of the trees, and she tackles you straight to the ground
>"Gotcha!"
>Your revolver lands nearby just out of arms reach
>Shit..
>You look back up at the pony standing over you
>There's a spark of interest in her beautifully green eyes
>"Ah like you, stallion."
"Excuse me?"
>"Not many stallions out there who can actually put up a good fight."
>You tilt your head to the side and spit
"Damn you."
>She grins at that
>"You've got fire in ya. Ah like that."
>She looks towards your revolver laying in the grass
>"Interestin' piece you've got there."
>She moves off of you to go pick it up
"H-hey! That's mine!"
>She picks it up with a hoof (what? how?) and curiously inspects it
>You stand up and brush yourself off, adjusting your hat a little bit
>"What's your name?"
"Why do you care?"
>"Woah, no need to get so cross with me, stallion."
"Stop callin' me that. Name's Anon."
>"Well then, Anon, you wanna tell me what you were doin' asleep in my orchards?"
"Tryin' to get away from the likes of you. I've been here for only a day and already you crazy lot are fightin' and arguin' over me and treatin' me like some sort of prize. I'm sick of it."
>"Well, that's a surprise."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
>"'round here, almost every stallion wants to be treated like a pretty prince. Ah admire that you don't want that in the slightest."
>She tosses you your revolver, and in one fluid motion you catch it and return it to your holster
>"Ah've got a farm a short walk from here. You wanna stay there? It'd be a bit of an escape from the madness in Ponyville
"We were just shootin' at each other. Why the change of heart?"
>"You've earned my respect. Simple as that."
>You look up at the sky and sigh
>Better than Ponyville, you guess.
"Fine."

>As the two of you arrive at Apple Farms, you collapse, clutching the wound in your side
>"You're hurt."
"No shit!" you say, coughing up blood
>The look on her face has pity written all over it
"Don't look at me that way.." you say as you struggle to your feet. "I'm fine."
>She still looks worried, though
>"C'mon inside, Anon."
>She leads you into the farmhouse, where you sit down in the first chair you see
>She takes a look at the bloodied bandage on your side
>"Well, at least you were smart enough to wrap it up. But ya really should've gotten this checked out sooner."
>She begins taking the bandages off, and although you wanna say something she seems to have good intentions
>She takes the bandages in her mouth, and moves off to dump them in a trash bin
>When she comes back, she takes a look at the wound
>"Yep, the bullets still in there."
>She goes off into another room, and comes back a few seconds later with some tweezers held in her mouth
>She positions the tweezers in an area where she can quickly get at the bullet lodged inside of you
>"Luckily, it's not too deep. This shouldn't be too hard to pull out." she says in a muffled tone
>"Now then, stallion, don't scream when Ah do this."
"Fuck you."
>"Ah certainly wouldn't mind if ya did~"
>And with that, she carefully yet quickly yanks the bullet out
>You manage to contain yourself and not make any noise save for your heavy breathing
>You let out a heavy sigh after a few minutes of trying to contain yourself
"We've gone from shootin' at each other to flirtin' in the span of an hour. What kinda crazy damn world did I land in?"
>"A nice one."
>She leaves to dispose of the bullet
>...
>She's got a point..
>Everyone here has overall been very nice to you
>Sometimes a bit too nice, but that's better than being shot at by bandits like back home.
>Nothing that should've made you lash out like you did.
>Being lost in your thoughts, you almost didn't notice her walk back in with some new bandages
"Y'know, I still don't know your name."
>She grins.
>"Finally, some friendliness from a grumpy stallion like you! I'm Applejack."
>She starts to wrap them back around your injury
"Well then, Applejack, I'd like to thank you for saving my life here."
>"A thank you?" she asks, her voice muffled by the bandages. "Now that's somethin' ah didn't expect."
>Ouch. We're you really that brash?
"I, uh, I.."
>She finishes applying new bandages, and looks back up at you
>"Aw, don't sweat it Anon, I'm only foalin' around."
>"Now, you should probably get some rest. That chair comfortable enough?"
"Uh, yeah."
>"Well then, I'm gonna go take care of some stuff. And oh," she adds with a grin, "Don't get yourself in any more trouble now."
>And with that she's gone.
>You tilt your head back and let out a groan
>Everyone was so damn nice here, and you half hate yourself for admitting it, but you kinda like it.
>Nothin' wrong with a cowboy being nice, you assume.
>You shift into a more comfortable position, and begin to fall asleep.

>"Anon!"
>Applejack is shaking you awake.
>"Wake up, you!"
"Whazzit? Wha-"
>"Ah know it's pretty embarassing of me to ask for a stallions help in a matter like this, but you've show me that you can handle yourself."
>You shake your head a few times and rub your eyes
>Looking outside through a window, you can see it's almost night, and the sun is beginning to set
"What do ya need?"
>"Well, ah think some timberwolves are prowling by the edge of the farm. Normally Ah could just scare 'em off with my gun, but Ah kinda dropped it when Ah was chasin' ya."
"You want my gun?"
>You weren't really comfortable with giving your gun to someone else, even if that person did save your life
>The thing meant a lot to you..
>"Ya could give it to me, but ah dunno if I could use it. Just come with me, alright?"
>Well, you owe her at least this
>It was just some wolves anyways.
>You get up with a grunt, and quickly reload your Schofield
"Lead the way, pony."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>You and Applejack have been walking on the outskirts of the farm for some 20 minutes now, but so far you haven't seen any wolves
>The two of you have mostly been talking about your past
>"So ya used to kill people.. for money?"
"Hey, that's not the only thing I did, and to be fair they were all criminals.."
>"Really? Because it sure explains your outburst this morning. What else did ya do then?"
"Used to run a farm with a couple friends some time ago. We all ran away from home to move west and start a big farm together."
>"You? A farmer? Ah don't buy it."
>You chuckle
"I get that it might be hard to believe, but yeah, I farmed. 'Til some bandits came buy and killed most of us, anyways. That's around when I started killin' people for money."
>"I'm sorry to hear that, Anon.."
>She sounded sincere.
"Yeah, well, that's how life is. Unforgiving. But at least I learned some things."
>"Maybe that's how life was in your old world, Anon. You can start a new life here, in Equestria. Go back to honest work, put the skills you learned to good use. Pretty rare to see a stallion doing hard farmwork."
"Y'know, that might not be such a bad idea."
>You walk in silence for a little bit, the only noises being the jingling of your spurs and Applejacks calming hoofbeats.
>...
>You pause when you hear some rustling in a nearby bush
>You think you can see some colors that look a little too bright to belong there, but you weren't sure
"Anybody there?" you ask, holding Applejack back with a hand
>"H-hey," Applejack says, "Shouldn't Ah be the one-"
>You quickly draw your revolver and fire a shot into the sky
>There's some more (rather loud) rustling in the bush, but it seems to be moving away, and you can see some birds cawing and flying away above the trees.
>And the brighter, out of place colors are gone from the bush too.
>"Ah guess not." She says.
"Whatever it was, it's gone now."
>"Let's head back to the farm then, Anon. Nice work."

>Holy shit, shit, shit!
>You'd been following Anon in the air for a while now as he walked with that damn Trixie of a farmhorse, but you couldn't really hear what they were saying
>Your rainbow mane didn't really blend in too well with the surrounding fauna, but you had to make sure they weren't flirting or anything!
>It'd be typical of Applejack to try and take a rough stallion that wasn't in her huge family for once.
>So, you descended into the bushes to see if you could catch what they were saying
>You caught snippets, something about farmwork, which worried you, because that seemed to be Applejacks favorite topic (besides her apples, of course.)
>But before you could overhear any more, Anon fired that thing he carried on his belt again
>You knew Applejack had one, but hearing that loud crack all of a sudden still scared you to the moon
>Gahh, why did they have to have so much in common!?
>No matter.
>You could get a.. what did Applejack call it? A gun?
>Yeah, you could get one of those too!
>And a hat just like the one Anon wears!
>Oh, and maybe even one of those torso-belt things that Anon uses to carry those shiny metal pieces!
>And some jingly-jangly things for your feet just like he his!
>You wouldn't let Applejack steal him away if you had anything to say about it!
>A stallion you could finally admire, and a farmhorse was trying to take him!
>You'd have him in your loving light blue hooves in time, even if it was the last thing you ever did.