Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 1:19 PM (6 days ago)
to me

good afternoon, do you have a while to talk?

Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 7:13 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

You can text me you know. I never blocked you...

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 7:19 PM (6 days ago)
to me

Well I’m getting a new phone soon because it deleted all of my numbers and photos.

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 7:20 PM (6 days ago)
to me

so I thought it’d be easier to communicate until I get my new one

Sent from my iPhone


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 7:20 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

PHONE-NUMBER

There. Or we can continue here, I don’t care. What do you want.

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 7:24 PM (6 days ago)
to me

ok, I’m going to go eat dinner. I’m at camp so I’ll try to get back around 8 if you’re okay with that

Sent from my iPhone


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 7:25 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

What do you want, Athalie?

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 7:25 PM (6 days ago)
to me

or we can wait until tomorrow

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 7:27 PM (6 days ago)
to me

I have no clue, my mind is all over the place and I’m overwhelmed with everything right now

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 7:29 PM (6 days ago)
to me

I have no clue, I’m stressed with life, what is easiest for you

Sent from my iPhone


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 7:36 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

You’re gonna have to do better than that, Athalie. What could you possibly want from me? The person that you resent so much, that you’d cheat on for a year with 2 other people while he sacrificed his car, job, and general life schedule? What do you want?

Sent from my iPhone


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 7:45 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

And yes, I am gonna be a bit of a hard ass. You knew exactly what you were getting into, and my attitude towards cheating. Emotionally or physically. So I’m gonna ask one more time. What do you want? What do you hope to gain from contacting me again?

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 8:08 PM (6 days ago)
to me

I do not blame you for acting the way you are other than asking you to delete those photos of us from your instagram as well as talking


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 8:09 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

Delete what photos?

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 8:10 PM (6 days ago)
to me

Because the way I see it right now is yes, you are still hurt, and I am not saying that you should feel any other way from this entire situation. However, I feel that the best way for you to move on or heal faster is deleting the photos, especially with the captions.


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 8:11 PM (6 days ago)
to me

The instagram photos..?


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 8:14 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

Lmao I don’t think you truly know what those captions are. Those captions aren’t for you... they’re for me. Because when I see those photos, I have to remind myself to not be sad that you’re gone, but rejoice in the fact I’m not living in a lie. I’m not going to delete those and pretend you don’t exist, oh no. You definitely do exist, and we’re a huge impact on my life and I can’t just delete that out. I have to remember, and learn from it. Not run/hide from it only to fall face first into another lie. And if someone happens to wander into them, so be it. You reap what you sow.

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 8:23 PM (6 days ago)
to me

And that right there is how you are not able to heal as well as move on from the situation because A, you are only going to remind yourself of what happened (regardless of your thoughts and opinions) and B, if you plan to find someone else and they see that? Sure, that is going to give them enough confidence to date you because all they will think is that you are just not ready for another relationship because you cannot simply grow from what had happened. Why do you think I did that? Because I wanted to sit down with myself, start over, write down all the things that I did wrong in a relationship as well as just learning from my mistakes. Sure, in the heat of the moment, all you want to do is simply show how awful of a person that I am. You do you. However, what do you truly gain out of it when there are better ways to learn from what happened?


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 8:33 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

Bruh, are you seriously trying to guilt trip me into deleting those? Lmao Man, if someone is so shallow as to not date me because of Instagram photos, then that’s the kinda person I don’t wanna date. But I’m glad you still only have your self interest as first priority at the end of the day. Now I know all you really want is to get away with what you did. You turned tail and ran as soon as I found out. You buried your head in the sand and used some excuse your mom gave you to give me. If you faced it head on, and truly apologized, maybe I’d have a tiny bit more sympathy for you right now. But instead, you come to me, play the card of “I’m confused and scared with life” in a desperate last attempt to get me to delete the warning label about you on my profile.

If you can’t be fully honest with yourself and your future relationships you choose to cheat on, all of your relationships are doomed to fail. I was nothing but transparent, and you turned to me, spat in my fucking face, and told Sofia and others every in and out of our relationship INSTEAD of talking to the one person that could truly fix the relationship: me. But now, the one time I am the person open about my past relationship and opening up, I’m the bad guy and you come back wanting me to shut my mouth because it makes you look bad. I have zero sympathy for what you did. You don’t buy a car without looking at the car fax and maintenance history. You want to know what you’re getting into.



Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 8:47 PM (6 days ago)
to me

You know, you are absolutely correct. You can say all you want, but we are going to have different perspectives on this entire situation and what are we going to accomplish here if all you want to do is put me in my place when I have already took time for myself to change myself as well as WORKED on being a better person. Also, yeah it might be rough for my future relationships, but that does not mean that there is not a person out there like Evan who forgave me. Anyways, I know that you will say that it is not about him, so like i said, it will just go in a circle if you plan to just continue what you are doing like keeping those photos. I am not guilt tripping you by deleting those, but I do know from my past with Daniel, the best way for me to move on was to delete everything of him because he did critical damage. I also feel that you are exaggerating of me spatting in your face if we did not even talk, but that is okay. At the end of the day, all I can do is apologize for what I did and acknowledge my mistakes like I already have.


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 8:50 PM (6 days ago)
to me

Because if you think that I do not have any empathy of what had happened with this entire situation that I caused, then you are far from being correct.


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 9:20 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

Athalie, Athalie... If you honestly think Evan forgave you for you, I don’t really know what to say to that. He knew you were in a relationship and stay because he was getting laid. But if you truly expect him to be honest and faithful, when he was willing to lie to everyone to cover up you cheating, you’re mistaken. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You have no pedestal to stand on for me to trust anything you say. But I’ll give you benefit of the doubt here.

1) “you took the time to work on being a better person.” Well clearly, from my perspective, that is well far from the truth. If you want to be a better and respectable person, you don’t come to your ex asking for me to delete information that is publicly available. No, you face your wrong doings head on, without bullshit. You own up to them, talk about them, and explain how you were wrong.

2) “Evan forgave me.” Evan forgave you because he was already invested in a relationship that was a lie from the start. He knew you were cheating and was ok with it. That just tells me he finds consistent lying acceptable in a relationship and will do so in the future. He was getting a hot girl out of it and sees no downside because he is just as narcissistic as you and your mother: only wanting his best interest in mind. Your relationship with him is built on a throne of lies, and it’s only a matter of time until it falls. But that’s just my perspective.

3) “exaggerating by spitting in your face because we didn’t even talk” B O I. Do you know how many times I went 48+ hours with no sleep just to see you in the night? To talk to you? To try and comfort you? How many of those times did you fall asleep? How many of those times did I ask “what’s wrong” and you’d respond with a picture of the fucking floor? How many times would I try to talk to you or call you on my breaks, but you wouldn’t respond because you were with Evan? How many times would I try to ask you to call at night so we could relax only for you to never call/ignore my request? How many times did I go out of my way to volunteer and YOUR events? Or plant trips? Or maybe, even talked to your parents about your mental health because I was worried about you? Do you truly know how I tried to talk to you, but you just turned around? Or if we were in person, I’d talk, and you’d give mild responses? It wasn’t because you didn’t want to talk to me, it’s because I was trying to talk, but you already talked to Jason/Evan and let out your emotions. There is no way you’re gonna tell me “you didn’t try to talk to me” when you’re the one that missed my bday, fell asleep, or left me on read when ever I tried to talk to you. You didn’t see it because you didn’t care.

4) “Acknowledge my mistakes like I already have” You did not come here to apologize. You did not come here to own up to what you did. You came here, tried to pretend you wanted to talk, and then just try to save your reputation even more by wanting me to delete you from my life. That my friend, is a big fat N O. You’re part of my life, and I can’t change that. But I can learn and remember from it, and anyone I meet is open to acknowledge and ask me about it. Are you going to acknowledge the lie you told Sofia about us arguing all the time? I thought we didn’t talk at all? Are you going to own up to saying “we can still be friends” and then proceed to only stay in contact with my friends and give the the cold shoulder? Are you going to acknowledge that you turned me and Sofia against eachother over spring break by telling me Sofia’s mom wants you home when it was really your mom that hated me the whole time? Or maybe acknowledge the fact you missed my birth day and didn’t give a single fuck? Or maybe will you apologize for wanting to lead me on all the way through college? Or maybe that your mom knew about the cheating and was encouraging it? Or that your mother told Sabrina that she wasn’t allowed at the graduation until SABRINA apologized for telling me about the prom... Do I need to go on? Because the list gets pretty damn long if you came here to “acknowledge your mistakes”.

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Thu, Jun 20, 10:11 PM (6 days ago)
to me

Okay you can stop right there because half of what you said what completely pulled from your ass. Here is what I have to say to you.
A) Here is my perspective of being a better person: I take time for myself to recognize the mistakes that I have made. I obviously came take the toxic things out of the picture in order to to you telling you that I had acknowledged what happened, but if this is what we're here to do to thoroughly talk about doing things wrong, bring it on.
B) you clearly were not there when we had talked about this. Glad to see that you still haven't changed in terms of jumping into conclusions.
C) glad that you went out of your way showing that you cared about me, but at the end, that was what you chose to do.
D) Here is where you are wrong on me not giving a single fuck about your birthday. If you forgot, I had a responsibility by leading a program because that is what I chose to do for the color guard. I did try to get off to celebrate, but Ms. M did not want me to because I had to do my job. However, I have to remind myself that you were not involved in high school in terms of having important roles or responsibilities, so that is okay.  Thought I remembered telling you that, but no worries if you forgot, nothing new right? Plus, my parents do not hate you, they just thought you needed more time to grow as a responsible, mature person that you were not during that time. In addition, from what my mother had told me about Sabrina, she does not appreciate her putting her nose into things when she is not involved. That is why i pushed your friends away because all i was going to get was negative comments and nothing beneficial from it.
Don't think that I do not have a whole list that I could type as well, you saying these types of messages in terms of trying to intimidate me, yeah that isn't going to fly with me


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Thu, Jun 20, 10:38 PM (6 days ago)
to Athalie

No, it isn't all pulled from my ass. You know all those things happened. I double checked them with Sofia, the person you talked to more than me. Sometimes, I think you may have lied so much that you don't even remember what you lied about and end up getting more tangled than when you started.

And I do fully acknowledge my mistakes. Yeah, I jump to conclusions. In fact, I told you that I did that and I want to improve on it and wanted your help. But when I was right about my conclusion, you flamed me for "thinking you would cheat" when you were. And no, I don't forget the whole "im still in highschool" thing. But at some point, it just sounds like a broken record and a go-to excuse that I want to go deeper into sometimes. And we did, but most times, we didn't.
A) You want to acknowledge things that you did wrong. Good for you. Hope you learn from them, but I can tell you really haven't changed since you just came to me to save face on my Instagram, or at least that was your introduction. Are you going to acknowledge my anxiety and how anytime I try to talk to you that *may* have lead to a conversation about Evan or Jason, you flamed me for 'how dare you ever think that I would cheat on you? You know my morals." Yeah, I know them now... You specifically took advantage of my worries about our relationship to lead me on thinking you still loved me. Youd be happy to know that I am actually medicated on my anxiety now, yay me. Or maybe you wont be happy, it doesn't really matter tbh
B) I really don't fully understand what you meant by this one and I would like more detail before I say anything
C) glad you went out of your way cheating on me and not breaking off the relationship when you should have, but in the end, that is what you chose to do. That one can go both ways. Yes, I did choose to go out of my way to show I cared and loved you. But maybe, perhaps rather than just letting it happen and wasting hundreds of my dollars and hours of my time, just break it off when you don't care anymore.
D) You were not with Ms.M on my birthday. You were in San Angelo. You planned a college visit 3 ish months in advance over my bday. Thats why I was upset about it. So I wanted to do another weekend and you told me we would. But did you know that I still havent gotten my bday gift? We never even celebrated it. I was patient. But yes, I was upset. Who wouldn't be? And yes, your parents do hate me. Your mother encouraged cheating, and actively told other people about it. She is just as much as a liar as you have been to me. (and I really don't want to get into the Sabrina thing because tbh she was in an awkward position in the whole thing, and idk the whole perspective on it.)

And the last thing, the stuff about Evan? No, I can't say it is factual or true. Im not gonna sit here is just low blow you and insult the person you cheated on me with. I only said my perspective. The relationship is built on a lie, and that just tells me that Evan is ok with constant lying in a relationship. Once again: my perspective, and that doesnt matter in this situation.


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Fri, Jun 21, 1:32 AM (5 days ago)
to Athalie

I am just going to be completely honest with you, Athalie. I don't know what the hell I am going to do. It isn't that I care about the cheating. I am truly over that you did that, but its the lies. The deception. The way my worries I asked you about were toyed with to be dismissed. What makes this even harder is that I am still fucking hooked on you when I shouldn't be. When you emailed me, I didn't know what the fuck to expect. I didn't even know what I wanted. But I think I do know now, even though I will never get it. I wanted a true apology. I wanted a true genuine apology for everything. After I found out about the cheating, I almost did not make it through that night. The honest to god thought that I had was that if I can't trust the only person I was ever comfortable to talk to, how can I trust anyone else that I meet in the future? I don't want to trust anyone. I am still hooked on you because I was going to get a promise ring for our anniversary. It wasn't just the relationship you took from me, it was the life I had envisioned for us. I just dismissed all the red flags because I was wearing rose colored glasses. I still truly don't know what I want. Talking to you again I thought would be relieving since I was able to just vent out all that has been built up in my system since you ran off, but its not. Its worse than I have ever been. The person I am still in love with is a fucking lie to me, and what I thought I knew isn't even there and didn't care about me... Its the lies, Athalie. The lies itself. And you're absolutely right, to be honest. I am keeping those photos up on Instagram because I am still attached to you and it is hard for me to move on, because I am lying to myself too. But out of all of this, it is really, really, really, REALLY, fucking hard for me to believe that you ask me how im doing just to see whats up, rather than saving face on social media. It is also hard for me to think that you have empathy for me at all. If you really cared you would have owned up to it a long time ago. Thats what I am hung up on. That after all this time, you still don't truly care in my eyes. And I don't know if it would even matter if you did. I was fucking devastated for the past 2 months, just faking it till I made it. I haven't even been able to sleep properly without medicine. All of the emotion I have been holding back this time has just exploded out of me tonight.

idk why I responded. I wasn't gonna low blow you or insult you... I was still trying to hold my breath because I didn't want to upset you because I still care and idk why I do. I don't even know why I am emailing this because it doesn't matter to you. You have all that you need. You don't need to talk to me, you have Evan and anyone else you want. You're a pretty girl, you can talk to who ever you want. Thats a trait about you I have always be jealous of. The fact that I am even writing this and sending it shows that I still care and love you when I shouldn't. idk what is wrong with me or what I hope to gain out of it. Sympathy? Petty? idfk i just guess I want you to know exacly what I have been thinking for so god damn long. I can't tell anyone else as they would just spread misinformation or lies. I can't even trust you yet here I am telling you all of this. What the fuck am I doing


Athalie
Fri, Jun 21, 2:25 AM (5 days ago)
to me

Sorry I wasn’t able to respond. I had to take a girl to the health lodge because she threw up.
After everything that happened, Grant. I do owe you a sincere apology. I know I can’t go back and fix what had happened. I understand that you have feelings like everyone else does. It was in the moment where I honestly didn’t know what I needed. So, I just began looking for different outlets. Unfortunately, I didn’t handle things in the best manner. I know that excuses aren’t going to help me because I’m not going to give excuses. It’s the honesty that you want, it’s what you will get from me. Although, now that I think of everything from beginning to end, like we both agreed on, we learned a lot from our relationship. Whether you will believe me or not when I say that I have learned from my mistakes, I truly have or I wouldn’t be here nor would I have sent that email to begin this conversation. The only reason I waited so long to talk to you was because we needed time away from each other because only talking about it in the heat wouldn’t have solved anything. We would have most likely continued to add more fuel to the fire.
At the end of this conversation, whether you decide to respond to this email or not, I just want you to know that I’m not throwing anything away of what you gave me. I was informed that you did so that was your decision, and I’m not upset. You did what you had to do. However, before my phone deleted my photos and contacts, I was smart enough to put EVERYTHING on a jump drive that I store in my room. You’re right, it’s what I learned throughout the journey: in a relationship, you give each other a part of you that you won’t be able to give back to each other. Again, you can assume all you want and do what you want with the photos. At this point, if that’s what helps you grow, then I’m all for it. Continue growing as the person that you aspire to be while holding god close in your life with the people that you hold dear to you.
Once again, i am truly sorry for all of the pain that I cause. Just know, that you end up in my prayer book as well as me been wanting to send an email like this for weeks. Thankfully, I am fortunate to send it now. Have a good rest of your life, I will cut off communication so you can continue to strive to do your best.

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Fri, Jun 21, 2:27 AM (5 days ago)
to me

I also apologize for my poor grammar, my brain is just scrambled from today with screaming 12 year olds

Sent from my iPhone


Grant <myemail@gmail.com>
Fri, Jun 21, 10:15 AM (5 days ago)
to Athalie

I can never forgive you for what you’ve done to me. Nothing will ever make me happy truly, because this just further fuels my anxiety and I’m scared to talk to anyone. It’s not that I think I can’t trust anyone now, it’s that I won’t. I’ve built a wall around myself that I want nobody to enter and I can’t bring myself to tear it down. Go confide in Evan, or Jason, since apparently they are your other outlets that will listen. I’m sure they’d love to talk about what you did because I can’t anymore. I’ve vented everything I’ve had built up and have nothing left to say.

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Fri, Jun 21, 12:49 PM (5 days ago)
to me

I have already talked to both, and everything has been said and done. So, I agree there’s nothing else to say. Also, that’s just on you to build up your trust in general, take your time to learn from this like I did or you will just stay at a plateau where you can’t improve.

Sent from my iPhone


Athalie
Fri, Jun 21, 12:52 PM (5 days ago)
to me

If I just continue to list my opinions, they are not going to mean anything to you. you won’t listen to me, that’s fine.. that is what you choose. So, I have nothing left to say.

Sent from my iPhone