Planescape: Equestria 4

>Even as you start forward you hear the snaps of several crossbows being fired.
>Two of the crossbowmen are in front of you and you were fully expecting those shots, but from the sound of it there are at least four snipers firing from concealed positions as well.
>You drop to a low crouch and abandon your head-on charge in favour of a weaving, serpentine approach.
>Heightened senses tell you that all but one of the shots are flying wide after your change of course, and you twist easily aside from the one that is on target.
>You can only hope that no ponies were in the firing line.
>You pause just long enough to fling a pair of knives and send one of the crossbowmen down to the cobbles clutching at his throat, and then you continue to close the distance between you and the captain.
>The Mercykillers were prepared for your speed, though, and a good half dozen of them have formed up around their captain in defensive stances.
>It won’t be easy to pick a vulnerable target from that closely packed squad, but you intend to give it your best shot.
>If you can get into melee with them and sow some confusion, at least the crossbowmen will have a harder time drawing a bead on you.
>And hopefully won’t just decide to shoot the ponies for sport while they wait for their buddies to club you to death.
>You’re not even halfway to the enemy, though, when you’re forced to revise your tactical considerations as a rainbow blur shoots past you and barrels straight into the one remaining visible crossbowman.
>The hapless Mercykiller is lifted several feet from the ground and propelled straight backwards until he crashes into a wall with a heavy crunch.
>Rainbow Dash swoops away from the point of impact, apparently completely unharmed, and seems to be preparing to come around for another pass.

>Either that was a very lucky shot, or these ponies might not be quite as helpless as you thought.
>You rather hope it’s the latter, because there look to be a good number of Mercykiller reinforcements already rushing into the fight.
>Pikey must have had backup right behind him.
>Better stay focused on the main target; you continue your advance towards the Mercykiller captain and his men, a little more patiently now since in your peripheral vision you can see Rainbow Dash lining up for a pincer attack behind them.
>Two of the men have halberds, and they know how to use them to keep you at bay.
>It’d be an easy enough thing to slip inside their reach if they were alone, but when they have a couple of buddies with short swords standing next to them, that’s a bit of a riskier proposition.
>You're happy enough to be kept at bay for now - you focus on distracting them and buying time, dodging around their probing thrusts and slashes.
>Meanwhile, behind you, you hear a cacophonous GONGGGG sound and then a fit of gleeful laughter.
>You glance around for long enough to see Pinkie Pie standing over the slumped figure of Pikey, brandishing an enormous mallet.
>You’re sure bladelings’ heads aren’t really supposed to make that sound when you hit them.
>And where the shit did that mallet come from?
>You’re past even wondering how she’s holding it in her hooves.
>Questions for another time. For now, your attention is drawn back to more immediate concerns as your delaying tactics pay off.
>Rainbow Dash crashes into the whole group in front of you from their unguarded rear, sending half of them sprawling.
>That’s your cue.
>In a split second you're among them, darting from man to man, sliding your knives into the weak points of their armour and taking care that each one is incapacitated before you move on.

>Their attempts to counterattack aren’t up to much, disoriented as they are and with their formation shattered.
>Plenty more Mercykillers are joining the fight, but you’re in your element now, too fast and nimble for these clumsy oafs to hit.
>And Dash… Dash is even faster than you, totally untouchable as she darts here and there, her movements too quick for the eye to follow except by what she leaves behind – her prismatic wake and the groaning, crumpled bodies of her enemies.
>Whenever you can spare a moment’s attention you try to check on how the other ponies are doing, and are mostly reassured by the glimpses you catch.
>Twilight’s horn is glowing fiercely as she fires off bolts of searing purple energy at any enemies who get too close.
>Here and there you notice purple force fields throughout the fight, too, creating strategic chokepoints or shielding an ally from the approach of an unseen enemy.
>Applejack has fashioned a lasso out of razorvine and is holding it in her teeth, expertly whirling it about her head.
>Razorvine.
>In her teeth.
>As you watch, the lasso drops over three guards and trusses them together into a helpless pile.
>Rarity, eschewing the subtler tactics of her friends, is elegantly punching Mercykillers in the face.
>She doesn’t seem to be too refined for the odd low-blow, either.
>Spike is scampering around, evading capture at the hands of several Mercykillers who are blundering into each other regularly in their efforts to lay hands on the small dragon.
>One of them finally manages to seize him, and then hurriedly drops him again after getting a face full of dragonfire for his trouble.
>And Pinkie is pelting everybody indiscriminately with water balloons, pausing only to fire off some sort of small explosives at any Mercykillers who get too close with a shower of confetti and streamers each time.

>Shreds of coloured tissue paper are everywhere, raining down on the brawl like snow.
>This fight is not only going rather well, but must rank among the funniest things you’ve seen in years.
>Wait.
>Where’s Fluttershy?
>You scan the battlefield and eventually spot her, backing into an alley with four armoured men advancing on her.
>You feel a surge of protectiveness and make a beeline for the yellow pegasus pony, but you don’t get far before you’re forced to step back to avoid the sudden onrush of an oversized mace-head like a titan’s great metal bollock.
>The cumbersome weapon comes crashing down just inches in front of you, shattering the cobbles and nearly knocking you off your feet with the impact.
>The weapon is now imbedded deeply in the street, but its wielder wrenches it free with disturbing ease and draws back for another blow.
>The figure before you stands easily twice your height and is entirely covered in heavy metal plating etched with Mercykiller insignia.
>And spikes, spikes everywhere.
>Mercykillers love spikes.
>You have the chance to study the wind up for this next swing, so the weapon’s arc doesn’t take you by surprise.
>It’s still an enormous lump of steel hurtling towards you at meteoric speeds, though.
>You manage to get out of its reach, only to stumble against the back of another Mercykiller.
>At least this one is human-sized, and seems as surprised as you by the collision.
>You get over it more quickly than he does and quickly dodge around him before backing hurriedly away as another awesome swing of the enormous mace knocks him aside like a rag doll.
>Apparently the big basher doesn’t worry too much about a few friendly casualties in the line of duty.
>He’s still advancing on you, lashing out with great scything sweeps of his mace.

>You’re running out of room to back up, you can sense a wall a couple of feet behind you.
>Must be time to get clever.
>You feint sideways to draw out another swing from the giant, and use the last of your breathing space to dodge backwards out of it.
>Then, wasting no time, you spring upwards with a burst of power and scrabble for a hold on the wall behind you; your situational awareness has always been a strong point, and if you remember rightly there should be a first floor window shutter right about… there.
>You catch hold of it and hang suspended for a moment, ten feet off the ground, while your monstrous foe takes your new bearings and lines up to swat you off the wall – or, more likely, through it -  with his next swing.
>You tense and coil, bracing yourself against the wall, waiting for just the right moment.
>And there it is. The enormous mace comes hurtling towards you once more and you launch yourself with another burst of speed, getting inside the swing’s arc before it can hit you.
>You land deftly perched on the Mercykiller’s shoulders and waste no time in taking advantage of the position before he can shake you off.
>Your dagger finds the eye slit in his helmet and there's a ring of steel sliding on steel as it plunges through to the soft, yielding flesh beneath.
>Wait.
>That doesn’t feel very soft and yielding.
>With a bellow, the giant reaches a hand back and tears you from his shoulders, dashing you to the ground.
>His helmet comes with you, and as your vision stops swimming you can see that the hateful countenance scowling down at you looks like a misshapen and tumescent mass of bone, leather and scales.
>It’s missing an eye now, but that doesn’t seem to slow the guy down much.
>Some kind of Fiendish half breed with an ogre or a hill giant?

>Now might not be the best time to speculate on his ancestry.
>One armoured foot is planted on your chest to crush all the wind out of you while he raises his mace high above his head to make an end of the job.
>And then a water balloon hits him squarely in his hideous face.
“Hee!” Pinkie’s triumphant giggle carries across the battlefield. “Gotcha! You’re out, no tag-backs.”
>The abomination is just puzzled enough by this to relax the weight on your chest for one moment, and that’s all you need.
>You can’t squirm out from under his boot without him noticing, but you manage to get an arm free and draw a knife.
>Better make this one count.
>Dismissing the pink pony as a matter best left for later, the giant looks back down, leering as he savours the imminent prospect of crushing the life out of you.
>Your knife embeds itself in his one remaining eye with a satisfying thunk, and he lets out a horrible scream.
>Blinded, he staggers backwards, letting you up and incidentally trampling over a couple of his regular-sized Faction-mates who were trying to struggle to their feet behind him.
>He hefts his oversized mace again and lashes out with it, but it’s a hopeless blind swing, just a desperate attempt to take out some of his pain and confusion on anything near.
>Warily you back away, and quickly ascertain that there aren’t many other threats still moving. The street is littered with the wounded or subdued bodies of dozens of Mercykillers.
>And confetti. Lots of confetti.
>Rainbow Dash is zipping from window to window of the houses down the street, checking for any of the crossbow snipers still remaining.
>The giant is lumbering off, groaning in pain.
>You figure it’s best to just let him go.
“Wheeee! That was fun!” Pinkie sing-songs, letting off a final blast of confetti and streamers for good measure.

“You okay, sugarcube?” comes Applejack’s voice from your side.
>You turn with a start to see the orange pony looking up at you with concern. Rainbow Dash lands next to her, and she’s looking you over for injury as well.
>This is so absurd.
“I’m fine,” you say.
>Well, that’s a lie, you probably have a couple of broken ribs, but… all things considered, it could be a lot worse.
“Thanks to you ponies. That was… quite a show. From all of you. What about you? You all okay?”
>You look around and see that everyp0ny seems mercifully unhurt.
>But Fluttershy is missing.
>Last time you saw her, she was backing into a blind alleyway with four Mercykillers closing in on her.
>You dash over to the alley to find the Mercykillers still there, sitting cross-legged in a semi-circle around her.
“…and that’s why you should try to be nicer, not just to me, but to each other,” the pony is finishing in her usual hushed tones. “Oh, hello Anonymous, is the fighting all over?”
>You notice more than one of the Mercykillers seem to have a tear or two glistening in their eyes.
“Yup, we’re all done… and you?”
“Oh, nearly,” she smiles. “But I think each of these people needs to write me a letter of apology and explain what they’ve learned about using violence to get their way.”
>You are speechless.
>Soon Spike, at Fluttershy’s request, has distributed paper and quill pens to each of the four Mercykillers.
>You wonder if you should be writing a letter too, on the importance of never underestimating ponies.
>Three of the Mercykillers are studiously writing away, tongues occasionally protruding with the intellectual effort.
>The fourth and final one is just staring sadly at his sheet of paper.
>Finally he breaks down in tears.

“Oh no, no, come on, it’s all right, there’s no harm done,” Fluttershy soothes him. “I’m sure you’re a good person, you’ve just done something silly and you need to make it right.”
“But… but… it’s not that,” the Mercykiller chokes out between sobs.
“Then what is it?”
“I… I can’t read or write…”
>Fluttershy looks horrified.
“You can’t… oh, my goodness, but this is just awful. Didn’t you go to school?”
“No…”
“Well that’s not right. That’s not right at all.”
>Fluttershy is getting a determined look on her face.
“I think you’d better come with us. In Equestria, every little filly or colt gets an education before we give them responsibility. That’s only fair. You deserve the same chances that they have.”
“Umm… Fluttershy?” Twilight speaks up. She sounds dubious, which is somewhat relieving.
“Yes, Twilight?”
“I’d be the last pony to dismiss the value of a good education, but do you really think Ms Cheerilee is going to be able to handle this full-grown human with proven violent tendencies on top of all the fillies and colts she already has to deal with?”
“Oh, but it’s not fair to say that he has proven violent tendencies, Twilight. He deserves a second chance! If we write him off just because he’s made bad choices, how will he ever know any better?”
>Twilight frowns, seeming unable to answer that.
>You see which way the wind is blowing, why even fight it?
“Bring him with us, then, but we need to get going soon,” you say. “The Harmonium will be along any minute now to start arresting people for breach of the peace.”
>Happily the three literate Mercykillers have now finished their letters to Fluttershy’s satisfaction.
>The fourth and final one seems more than willing to meekly follow her around; he tries to tell her his name, but she can’t pronounce it, so the ponies all agree to just call him Mercy.

>You’re soon at the edge of the great square where the Trioptic Nic’Epona rears its majestic head.
>The statue stands on a pedestal in the centre of the square.
>There are shallow steps leading up to it on all sides, but a ring of vigilant Doomguard soldiers stand guard, barring public access to the monument.
“So, about this portal,” you say. “First things first, did you have any trouble with the Doomguard on your way here?”
“Doomguard?” says Rarity. “Is that what those gentlemen call themselves? How perfectly dismal. But, no, no trouble at all, they were most civil. They did seem a little surprised to see us at first, but once we showed them Princess Celestia’s seal they let us right on through with no bother.”
>Well, that’s interesting.
“Okay, super. And what about the portal key? What is it?”
“It’s Twilight!” Pinkie says happily.
>You raise your eyebrows. This would be the first case you’d ever heard of a portal key being a specific sentient being. “Really?”
“Umm… kinda,” Twilight says with a trace of discomfort. “See, the thing is, we’re the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. We’re going to need them to get through the portal anyway, so we may as well show you.”
>Twilight’s horn glows and she telekinetically opens up her saddlebags and removes a case which, in turn, contains six glittering pieces of golden jewelery set with magnificent gems.
>They immediately start to attract covetous attention from passers-by; you’re glad that the ponies had the sense not to put these on display earlier.
>Although now that you’ve seen them in action, you’re not so sure that any would-be thief would have come off very well in the exchange.

>Five of the gems are set into golden torcs or neck clasps of some sort, and Twilight levitates each of these in turn to one of her friends.
>She reels off the respective Element as Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie each get their adornment – Kindness, Honesty, Generosity, Loyalty, Laughter.
“And Magic,” Twilight finishes as the remaining gem, set in a golden tiara, settles on her head. “But… Magic is a little different. Magic, combined with true friendship, is the spark that activates all the Elements and gives them power.”
“…of course it is.”
>You’re definitely coming back round to your original theory that these ponies are Proxies.
>Proxies of the most eccentric goddess ever, apparently.
“Well, that’s the portal key. The spark that activates the Elements of Harmony.”
“Right,” you nod, processing that. “But, then, how do Mercy and I get through? Wouldn’t we need to be Bearers of one of these Elements as well?”
“I’m not sure, but Princess Celestia didn’t seem to be worried about your ability to follow us, so I think it should be okay. My working theory is, as long as we’re friends, you’ll be able to get through as well.”
“Well, okay, I’m game to give it a try. Do we need to do some sort of friendship ritual, or…?”
"No-" Twilight begins, but is cut off by Pinkie’s squeal of delight.
“Yes! A friendship ritual sounds super fun, we have to have one!”
“…we’re in kind of a hurry,” you remind her.
“Aww, but-“
“We could do it once we’re safe and sound in Equestria?”
>Pinkie thinks about that for a moment.
“Pinkie promise we’ll do one?”

“…okay?”
“Repeat after me: cross my heart…”
>She looks pretty serious.
“…cross my heart…”
“Hope to fly,”
“…hope to fly…”
“Stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“…”
>She’s staring at you with eyes that could pierce the soul of a lesser man.
“…stick a… cupcake… really?”
“STICK A CUPCAKE IN MY EYE.”
“…stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“Yay!”
>She gives a couple of bounces, seeming entirely satisfied.
“So, what about Mercy?” you ask, moving swiftly on. “It doesn’t seem like you and him have really had time to bond yet, Twilight.”
“It’s okay,” Fluttershy puts in quietly. “He’s my friend, so he still counts.”
>The huge man’s look of adoring servility as he follows the little yellow pony about could be interpreted as friendship, at a stretch, you suppose.
“Well, okay. So… I guess we’re all set?”
“Right,” Twilight smiles. “Let’s go!”

>She trots up to the Doomguard, and you are more than content to let her lead the way in talking to those surly bastards.
>Sure enough, once they see Princess Celestia’s seal, they let the whole bunch of you right through with not a word of complaint.
>So here you are at the base of the Tripona.
>It’s commonly known that there are portals here – several of them – but it’s also known that nobody gets to use them except for a few of the city’s Golden Lords and Faction high-ups.
>And now you and these ponies.
>You smile to think of the rumours that will be circulating about you while you’re out of town.
>As the ponies approach the huge archway made by the nic'Epona’s rearing hind legs, the air within starts to shimmer and churn with the colours of the Elements of Harmony.
>Twilight smiles encouragement at you.
“You’d better go first,” she suggests. “In case you can’t get through.”
>You nod.
“Here I go then.”