It's Always Sunny in Lumentia

Lucidia: Your wife says she's afraid of you. I'm here for the dog.
Nevermore: Oh. That woman is amazing! She is amazing! You just met her; she's already got you running errands for her. She's good. She is good!
Lucidia: Just go get the dog.
Nevermore: I don't have the dog.
Lucidia: So you've been in here tearing apart pillows and... pooping... on the floor?
Nevermore: [long pause] Yes.

Nevermore: What the hell is that?
Minuki: It's a baby we found in the trash.
Nevermore: [pauses] Well, put it back. It doesn't belong to you.

Azurra: GET ON YER KNEES BITCHES!

Ananta: Dude, I swear to god if you try and give me a noogie I will yank your underwear over your head so hard your asshole will rip in half.
Minuki: (walks in from the office) Helloooo!!! What's up bitches?
Jack: Minuki, can an asshole rip in half?
Minuki: Like tissue paper.

Jack: Ohhhhhhhh shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door there? The one marked "Pirate"? You think a pirate lives in there?
Ananta: I see a door marked "Private." Is that the door you're talking about?
Jack: Nah, I was talking abou...I didn't say...did you...what did you hear?
Ananta: I heard you say "There was a door marked pirate living in there."
Jack: Well are we gonna talk about pirates all day or are we gonna see what's living in there?
Ananta: You're the one that....Jesus Christ man, shit.

Ananta: Some gay guys are twinks, and others are bears. This gay guy's a bear. By the way we're totally cool with that. To each his own.
Nevermore: Wait, I'm a little confused here. What's a twink?
Ananta: A twink is small and slender, like Minuki.
Minuki: Oh no, I'm too muscular, I would be a bear.
Ananta: Ohh don't think so bro. Not hairy enough. And you're also a girl.
Nevermore: Smooth. I would be a bear.
Ananta: No no, see I don't think you'd be a bear either. As a matter of fact, I don't know what you would be, because you're definitely not a twink.
Nevermore: I'd be a top, that's for sure.
Minuki: Can a twink be a top, or is that reserved for bears?
Ananta: I'm sure there's a great deal of switching back and forth, but I think more often than not bears are tops, unless they happen to be power-bottoms.
Nevermore: What's a power-bottom?
Minuki: A power-bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.
Ananta: Actually Minuki, you got it backwards. See, a power-bottom's actually generating all the power by doing most of the work.
Nevermore: Does the power have to do with the size or the strength of the bottom?
Minuki: Now Ananta, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.
Ananta: Speed has everything to do with it. You see, the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he's supposed to apply. Speed's the name of the game. Right, buddy?
(notices that Leonidas has left)
Minuki: Goddammit!

Jack: Remember when we made the news show for eighth grade for social studies, dude?
Minuki: See, that was real news.
Jack: Yeah, we didn't distort facts. We told it like it was, you know?
Minuki: Yes.
Ananta: Yeah, I remember that video. You guys were burning G.I. Joes and throwing rocks at cats.

Azurra: That's a bad idea, whenever you get involved, someone gets hurt.
Nevermore: I'm just palling around with the guys, how's anyone gonna get hurt?
[Title Card: Nevermore Sets Azurra On Fire]

Nevermore: I'm going to go oil my chainsaw.
Azurra: What?
Ananta:  Nevermore, we don't need the chainsaw. Is that what's in that bag?
Nevermore: Oh, we do...because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance...a beautiful dance with a chainsaw.
Ananta: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.
Azurra: I don't get it...at all.

Azurra: What about you, Ananta?
Ananta: Well I...
Nevermore: Ananta is a prostitute now.
Minuki: Good.
Ananta: No, I'm not a prostitute, okay?
Nevermore: Yes, he is.
Ananta: There is no banging old ladies or dudes, all right? I will be providing a very important service, however, as what I would like to be called: a handsome companion.
Minuki: To dudes?
Jack: To guys or...
Ananta: No, not to dudes. No, hang on. Hold on. Hang on. To old fancy rich ladies who want to do classy, exotic, fancy things with me.
Minuki: Great, Ananta, you keep banging dudes.

Minuki: The police? The streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless and you people are counting on the police?!

Azurra: Aww! Not only did I get Jack to eat a drug filled brownie. I got everybody in here to do it. Okay? Pretty soon people are going to be dropping like flies and it's just gonna be me and you two jerks. Good luck with those kegs boners.
Jack: Bitch.

Jack: You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! Okay! I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Minuki--how 'bout that for stress?
Minuki: What the hell are you talking about?
Jack: This company is being bled like a stuck pig, Minuki, and I've got a paper trail to prove it. Check this out. [Goes to a wall covered in paper and string] Take a look at this.
Minuki: Jesus Christ, Jack!
Jack: That right there is the mail. Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Minuki? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? "Pepe Silvia," this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to get it and he's going to keep coming back down here." So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Minuki? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right. So I start marchin' my way down to Angel in HR and I knock on her door and I say, "Angel! Angel! I gotta talk to you about Pepe." And when I open the door what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There...is...no...Angel in HR. Minuki, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.
Minuki: Okay, Jack I'm going to have to stop you right there. Not only do all of these people exist, but they've been asking for their mail on a daily basis. It's all they're talking about up there. Oh my Ranth, dude, we are going to lose our jobs.
Jack: Well, calm down because here's one thing that's not going to happen.
Minuki: What?
Jack: We're not gonna get fired.
Minuki: We're not?
Jack: Because we've already been fired.
Minuki: We've lost our jobs!
Jack: Yeah. About 3 days ago a couple pink slips came in the mail. One for you and one for me. So what did I do? I mailed them halfway to Siberia.
Minuki: If we've lost our jobs, then that means we've lost our health insurance. That means all of this was for nothing! Goddammit, dude, I am having a panic attack. I am actually having a panic attack.
Jack: Well, will you settle down and have another cup of coffee?
Minuki: I am, bro.
Jack: All right, well, fine. You know what, Loki? Give this girl a cigarette, she's freakin' out. [turns to a man in black trench coat and hat standing next to him]
Minuki: Huh? Who?
Jack: Loki. He's the one who tipped me off to Pepe Silvia.
Minuki: Loki? Who the hell is Loki?
Jack: You don't see the...[Looks around and Loki's disappeared] Holy shit! Where the hell did he go? [Yello's "Oh Yeah" comes on in the background] Day Bow Bow.
Minuki: You've lost your mind! You've lost your goddamned mind, Jack. [Cha. Chika-chika!]