0008

"

My life's goal is a simple one:

Learn as much useless information as possible &
Apply it to Nothing Of Any Consequence

Only afterward will I find peace

"

"That's all it says?"
"Yep. What do you think it means?"

"Think?
I -know- what it means.
There, under the floorboards."

The second-in-command complies, revealing what appears to be a large black metal box. There's a keyhole on the top, but also a strange absence of seams or crevasses on its surface.

"What's this? How do we open it?"

"Oh it's nothing really I guess."