Good thing, too.

Starter
It was a Tuesday Like any other. It was the "Pretty Good" of times, it was the "Ho-Hum" of times. Hans had a backlog of video games stacking up on his shelf, steadily rising month after month, two games at a time. He always means to get to them but only has about thirty minutes a weekday to spare (after sifting through and completing his daily intake of homework), though he lost always ended up spending it all on level-grinding. groundskeeping, and housing development in his old standby P game, Prospector-Creator. He was on this particular Tuesday, a day otherwise like any other, busily working away at his Pre-Algebra 103 homework when insanity seemed to strike him. Yet he was still sane, for what occurred was as real as you or I (as absurd as it was.) An 8-foot-tall organic glass pitcher-with two arms, two legs, and an inked-on face- came pounding into hans's room through the wall, creating a huge hole in it. He had on a buttoned-down Hawaiian shirt, board shorts, and he wore a pair of sandals, and he was filled nearly to the brim with red (Flavor???) Kool-aid. He bellowed enthusiastically, "Oh~ Yeah!" Just then an explosion sounded off outside Hans's house. Hans was completely bewildered by this point. First he looked up at the 'Kool-Aod Man' then wistfully back at his writing desk, and lastly anxiously over at the gaping breach in his wall. "Whelp," he at last sighed, "it beats Pre-Algebra!" So he got up...

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Good thing, too.

It was a Tuesday like any other. It was the "Pretty Good" of times, it was the "Ho-Hum" of times. Hans had a ton of video games stacking up on his shelf, steadily rising month after month, a couple games at a time. He always means to get to them (they almost seemed to be calling to him: "Play us!") but only has about half an hour each weekday to spare (after sifting through and completing his everyday schoolwork), though he always ended up spending it all on level-grinding. groundskeeping, and housing development in his old standby PC game, Prospector-Creator. He was on this particular Tuesday, a day otherwise like any other, busily working away at his Pre-Algebra 103 homework when insanity seemed to strike him. Yet he was still sane, for what occurred was as real as you or I (as absurd as it was.) An 8-foot-tall organic glass pitcher -- with two arms, two legs, and an inked-on face -- came pounding into Hans's room through the wall, creating a huge hole in it. He was wearing a buttoned-down Hawaiian shirt, board shorts, a pair of sandals, (On his feet, of course.) and he was filled nearly to the brim with red (Pomegranate Flavor?) Kool-aid. He bellowed enthusiastically, "Oh yeah!" Just then an explosion sounded off outside the house. Hans was completely bewildered at this point. First he looked up at Kool-Aid Man, then wistfully back at his writing desk, and lastly anxiously over at the gaping breach in his wall. "Whelp," he at last sighed, "it beats Pre-Algebra!" (It was not that it was difficult, just time-consuming.) So Hans got up, and said:
"So, Kool-Aid Guy, What's up? I was just gonna get some tacos!" "Oh, I was feeding Kool-Aid to a toaster cat, but it malfunctioned. It must have had a delay! But tacos sound good. I want the Doritos shell one!" Kool-Aid Dude replied.
"WHO BLEW UP MY DANG TOASTER CAT?!?!?!?" Old Man Jenkins bellowed from a block away.

As the two new friends traversed to Taco Bell, they saw perhaps the most unbelievable sight in both their lifespans! "Is that a Pokémon card?" Kool-Aid Babe asked. "It IS!" replied Hans. Koolerino started to reach for it, but Hans said, "NO! YOU'LL GET KOOL-AID ON IT!" as he picked it up. Hans's eyes widened. "Shiny holo charizard," he muttered. "What?" whispered Kool-man-fu. "SHINY HOLO CHARIZARD!" Hans screamed. They were making a scene (not without cause) so they went in Taco Bell.
They saw somebody with a gigantic Doritos-Shell Taco. Hans said, "Are you gonna sell that?" "Nope!" the man replied. "This bab- HOLY CRAP, SHINY HOLO CHARIZARD!!! TAKE IT!" "Ok!" replied Hans, handing him it. "Well," said the man, "I WAS gonna just give it to you because you're awesome... BUT I'LL TAKE THIS!" He said, snatching the card from Hans's hand. They ate the taco in 5 bites, then turned to the man. (All right, when I said it was huge, I meant like 2.5x normal, O.K.?) "Sucker!" shouted Kool-Aid-Meister. The old man looked sad. "You're right... Just take the card back. I'll join you on your journey,"
he said. Hans asked, "Is this a journey? Why?" "I dunno," the man answered. "Kun-aid teamed up with a kid in a fanfic written by another kid? How could it not be? Anyways, here's my true identity," he said, taking off his coat (which I forgot to mention earlier).
"Is that... OLD MAN JENKINS... ?" exclaimed Kool-Aid-chan. "Nope!" 'Old Man jenkins' replied. "This is just the first layer!"
He continued disrobing, taking off his jacket and brandishing a feather duster. Chill-Abu started, "Is that...?" "...Your twin?" Hans finished. "NO," said Killer-First-Aid, "it's Nestor, the butler!" Nestor nodded, raising his feather duster. "NOW OFF ON OUR JOURNEY WE GO! But first, I know someone who can help. They'll probably want to look at your card, though," He said.

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After a considerably long 1 minute walk, they were at a house with a mime sweeping the porch.
"Hey," Kool-Aid Kid exclaimed. "That guy isn't wearing a beret! And could you STOP changing my name?"  "Ok, Kool-Aid Man..." Hans sighed.
"Mr. Mime!" Mr. Mime exclaimed. Nestor whispered to Hans, "He wants to see your pass." Hans took out the S.H.C.C. and showed it to Mr. Mime.
"Mr Mime!" He exclaimed, nodding. Mr. Mime moved out of the way to let them inside. Hans tried the doorknob. "It's locked!" Hans said. What do we do?"
"Not a problem." Said Kool-Aid Man confidently. He then proceeded to charge through the wall, bellowing, "Oh yeah!" Hans and Nestor followed him through the crater. "What did I tell you?" Kool-Aid Man said with a triumphant smile.