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CWCmos: An Autistic Journey

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Feb 22nd, 2018
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  1. ======================================================
  2. CWC-MOS: An Autistic Voyage
  3. - By Nobody
  4. ======================================================
  5.  
  6. Episode 1: The Shores of the Digital Ocean
  7. ------------------------------------------
  8. "For the first time, we have the power to decide the fate of a manchild, and ourselves. This is a time of great danger, but
  9. Christorians are young, curious, and brave. It shows little promise of employment."
  10.  
  11. Episode 2: One "JULAY" in the Internet Fugue
  12. ------------------------------------------
  13. "All my life, I've wondered about Chris's life. On the pages of deviantart, tumblr, and countless other social media cesspools, are
  14. there other people unlike Chris? Might they live like Chris, or would they be astonishingly fragrant? What do they do outside of
  15. their bedrooms? In the vast Milky Way galaxy, how common are what we call "manchildren"? The nature of a manchild's refusal to grow
  16. up and the quest for china elsewhere are two sides of the same question: the search for who we are... to Chris."
  17.  
  18. Episode 3: Harmony of Sonic and Pikachu
  19. ---------------------------------------
  20. "As a boy, Chris had been captured by a vision of imaginative splendor, a harmony of two copyrighted characters which he sought so
  21. tirelessly all his life. Harmony in this simple CD cover project enlightened him."
  22.  
  23. Episode 4: Boyfriend-free Girls, and Girls
  24. ------------------------------------------
  25. "There are many hypotheses in CWC Dating Education that are wrong. That's perfectly alright; it's the aperture to finding out what
  26. IS sexual harassment. Not being creepy is a self-correcting process. To lose your virginity, virgins must survive the most rigorous
  27. standards of JERKS and boyfriend-free girls."
  28.  
  29. Episode 5: Autism for a Blue and Red Planet
  30. -------------------------------------------
  31. "The beauty of a CWC-ism is not the autism that goes into it, but the way those words are put together."
  32.  
  33. Episode 6: Trolls' Tales
  34. ------------------------
  35. "The balding manchild in this voyeur photo. Here he is. That's who we talk about. That's him. We Christorians are one species and
  36. this is our world. It is our responsibility to cherish him. Of all the manchildren in the galaxy, the only one so far as we know,
  37. graced by autism."
  38.  
  39. Episode 7: The Backside of CWC's Pants
  40. --------------------------------------
  41. "The internet calls to us. If we decide to ruin our own lives, we will one day venture to CWCVille"
  42.  
  43. Episode 8: Journeys in Hoard and Fires
  44. --------------------------------------
  45. "And our small wiki at this moment, here we face a critical branch point in Christory, what we do with our hero, right now, will
  46. propagate through Chris's middle age and powerfully affect the destiny of our manchild."
  47.  
  48. Episode 9: The Edge of Employment
  49. ---------------------------------
  50. "In many cultures, the customary answer is that hard work and employment creates livable wages. But if we wish to pursue this
  51. question courageously, we must of course ask the next question: who are all of the unfortunate taxpayers being duped to keep this
  52. domestic parasite supplied with sex toys and regular toys?
  53.  
  54. Episode 10: The Persistence of Virginity
  55. ----------------------------------------
  56. "What an astonishing thing Social Media is. Posts across the world. But one glance at it and you're inside the mind of an autistic
  57. orangutan, maybe somebody like Chris. Across the world, Chris is stuttering clearly and silently in your ear, directly to you.
  58. Saying stupid shit on the internet is perhaps the greatest of human blunders, binding strangers together to write a fucking 2,000
  59. article online encyclopedia, the Christorians of the CWCKi."
  60.  
  61. Episode 11: Encyclopedia Dramatica
  62. ----------------------------------
  63. "In the vastness of the CWCmos, there must be other wikis far older, and less funnier than ours."
  64.  
  65. Episode 12: Who Speaks for Chris?
  66. ---------------------------------
  67. "A new consciousness is developing which sees Chris as a single manchild and recognizes that Chris at war with his own genitals is
  68. doomed. We are one group of people. One of the great revelations of Christory is the image of a manchild, finite and lonely,
  69. somehow vulnerable, bearing the entire weight of our society through the digital oceans of the internet. Christory is full of sad
  70. people who, out of virginity, or memes, or the lust for Twitter likes have destroyed medallions of immeasureable value which truly
  71. belong in the CWCki archives. We must not let it happen again. We have autistic dedication to Chris and his sexual life. We speak
  72. for Chris. Our obligation to survive and flourish is owed not just to ourselves, but also to that CWCmos, autistic and vast, from
  73. which we spring. Our wiki and our dark discussion circles have posed us a profound question: will we learn to use these CWC-Tales
  74. as lessons to improve our own lives?"
  75.  
  76. Pale Fat Manchild: A Vision of the Manchild's Future
  77. -----------------------------------------------
  78. "Consider again that manchild. Right here. That's Chris. That's him. Before him, sweethearts he ever loved, everyone who kicked the
  79. autistic, every galpal he tried to bed, every troll who ever trolled him, lives an unusual life. The aggregate of our joy and
  80. suffering, thousands of confident trolls, sweethearts, and whiteknights. Every Mimms and Lucas, every Sonic recolor and sex
  81. drawing, every family member and classmate, every cop and security guard, every boyfriend-free girl and jerks, every retail manager
  82. and employee, hopeful captain's logs, twitter post, and video, every community college dean, every corrupt citizen of the PVCC,
  83. every "troll", every "ween", every whiteknight and A-logger in the Christory of Christian Weston Chandler trolled there, in 14
  84. Branchland Court, a decrepit hoarded house that's currently on fire."
  85.  
  86. "The City of CWCVille is a very small stage in the vast arena of the CWCmos. Think of the rivers of shit spilled into every pair of
  87. pants so that, in glory and triumph, we could write an article about it and become momentary masters of a fraction of a wiki site.
  88. Think of the endless cruelties of trolls in one corner of this wiki, to the name of every inflatable sex doll on some other corner.
  89. How frequent Chris's misunderstandings are, how eager we are to talk about him, how fervent our stalking."
  90.  
  91. "Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in influencing Chris's life, are
  92. challenged by our forums of discussion. Our lives are a lonely speck in the dark, enveloping void in Chris's life. In our
  93. obscurity, in all of this autism, there is no hint that help will come to save Chris from himself."
  94.  
  95. "There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of humanity than this autistic man who made our entire world. To me, he
  96. underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale fat manchild, the only
  97. mistake of God we've ever known."
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