It's ironic in a way, because the best way someone described me once was "My Superman". It meant the whole world back then, but now it's just something that stuck in the back of my head and it hits me when I start looking back. Because it doesn't matter how much of a Superman you are, you are still a man, a human, and all of us experience the affects of being human from time to time.

Have you ever been at a very low point in your life, or perhaps the lowest point in your life and asked yourself,  how did anyone go through this? Because realistically there's gotta be someone else in the world whos gone through the exact same thing. Same everything, right down from the emotions all the way through to the gut wrenching feelings. Well, they must have moved past it right? And of course they are living a better life now right? That's someone I would kill to meet, maybe even get some proper insight, or atleast not to feel as alone on this. To be fair I do have some friends whos advice is really helpful on paper, but all advice is like that, good and motivational, but in reality you never feel that the other person genuienly understands how you feel.

I will tell you from now, I am not the case of the shy unconfident guy that devaluates himself and eventually becomes this "Social Rockstar" that the hot cool girl found interest in him even though he was socially awkward cause it's all bullshit. When I say bullshit, I don't mean it in the negative way.

 Leaving aside the obvious fact that hot cool girls will most likely never find interest in socially awkward guys. It's just that it doesn't matter how much your life improves, it will be gradual, and eventually will stop being as awesome as these stories portay it to be. That's where the downfall comes, I am not saying it will be really bad and tragic, I am just saying that for everything good that happens, there will be bad things that happen, sometimes you will be depressed and lazy and on the other hand you will be happy and enegetic . Without the bad how would we know the good?
People love to leave the hardships of their lives when shown or talked about with other people, which drives me nuts, because it's so unrealistic! I should stop ranting about this topic, because it just makes me heated, but you get the point. No matter who the person is, a hollywood actor, a supermodel, a rockstar, all you see from them is the good part of their lives, but they will never share the bad phases of their lives and the annoying crap they are going through from time to time.

I remember some of how was it like when I was a kid, I remember the first apartment my family was renting, it was a really short street that was literally 106 steps away from my elementary school, it was that kind of street where everybody knew everybody, you know, the kind of street where your mother knows Candice from work, and her son Charlie goes to your school, but you were never good friends with him. It was quite funny when I think about it, my mother was always best friends with the kids that I least talked with in school. I lived on the third floor, and in the building infront of ours, on the third floor aswell lived the Cohen family, whos youngest child George that I don't really talk to nowdays was my best friend back in the day. I guess we kind of grew up towards different directions after high school.

At first I assumed that his parents were pretty religious because of his beliefs and all that, but it was quite the opposite. I remember that Mrs. Baum was really funny and always made jokes about religion and the fact that George was trying to pick on religious habits, It wasn't mean or anything, I could tell.  "Hey George, if Adam and Eve were both white how come you're brown?" she said with a big smirk on her face. "That's the whole point, you're supposed to believe, not think about these stuff mom!" George replied with a very synical voice. George knew that his parents are very supportive of whatever he does, so he never got mad about it.

She was also the Artsy type of mom, you must've known atleast one in your lifetime. The kind of moms that have a room full of paintings and everything in their house is uniquely decorated. I remember one Tuesday she came to our school and decided that she wants to paint the whole classroom so it can look less, and I quote "Creative Thinking Graveyard", and asked all the students to help her. At first our home room teacher Rose didn't like the idea at all because she said it was not under the school's code of behavior, even though we were on fourth grade we knew that she just didn't want to get in trouble, and was not really against the idea.

"Alright Eve" that was Mrs. Baum's first name by the way, but I never addressed her that. "You take responsibility, and remember, the teacher Rose was never here". "You're my favorite teacher from now on" Mrs. Cohen replied. We took the brushes out from the buckets full of paint and all I could remember is how amazingly terrible I was at painting. I actually think I am the worst painter that i've ever seen. Because I knew Mrs. Baum she didn't save the mean but not so mean jokes from me. "Cody, your style of painting reminds of me Van Gogh a little bit". I remember what I have drawn, it was a sun. But not a regular circular sun. It was the one that you draw at the top right corner of your notebook. I don't even know how you could mess up a "Half a sun on the top right corner of your notebook" drawing, but god damn, I actually managed to mess it up. "Who is Ben Gogh" one of the classmates asked. "It's not Ben Gogh, it's Van Gogh you idiot. He was a famous artist, just like Leonardo Da Vinci" Britney replied. Wow, you don't even understand how much I hated Britney, not because she was a bitch as much as someone could be a bitch on fourth grade, but because she never actually cared about the stuff she knew. You know, it's like you knowing that a genuine smile has wrinkles around the eyes, as opposed to a fake smile that doesn't have wrinkles around the eyes. Even when I say it now I get little excited saying it, because I actually care about knowing it. She never had a spark in her eye when she was arrogantly spouting knowledge, she was like a god damn robot, she knew the data but she did not understand the data. I don't really hate Britney nowdays, I mean she probably is still a fucking bitch since I haven't seen her since I finished highschool about three years ago, but I am just trying to avoid hating people nowdays. Anyways, it was the last time that George's mother ever came to school, I never really asked why but I guess it was because her thoughts about school lead to lack of creativity in her mind. I liked the painting, I really did. The right side of the wall was filled with our drawings as students, it had hearts, weird shaped clouds, bunnies, silhoutte of birds flying, and a lot of green. But that was not the side I liked on that wall. I liked Mrs. Baum's painting, which took two times less the space than the one my classmates drew, and I never understood why.

There was this tall tree that had a bunch of leaves at the top, as if there was a bush on top of the tree and it had the word "Potential" written on it. There were two monkeys hanging from a branch at a high point of the tree, but not at the top yet. And there was this little foot that you could barely see that disappeared between the leaves on top of the tree. The two monkeys that hung on the branch were laughing at another monkey who was laying down under the tree looking up exactly at the sky, the leaves on top of the tree were just there seperating the sight of the sky for him, and he was smiling, the really happy kind of smile.