shiggy and natt being straight

The poking sensation on his forehead finally became too real to ignore, and Shiggy yawned awake, opening crusty eyes to look at the one who dared interrupt his dream. Though the night was dark and his vision blurry, the round face topped with short blonde hair could belong to no one else but Kiyui, and Shiggy simply let out a heavy sigh, knowing there was no way he could get angry at the younger boy.

"What is it, Kiyui?" He mumbled, rubbing the corners of his eyes and grabbing his glasses from the nightstand. He pushed them on his nose, the world now clear again. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Kiyui shook his head. "It's Natt." Under his eyes, Shiggy could see pronounced dark rings, betraying sleeplessness, and instantly he understood. That was becoming a common occurrence.

"He's at it again, huh?" Shiggy gave a tired smile, ruffling the boy's hair and then lifting him under his arms, gently putting him in his bed. "I'll see if I can help. You try to fall back asleep, I'll take your bed."

"Thank you ..." Kiyui yawned, his face sinking in the comparatively huge pillow. Shiggy kept combing his hair for a few minutes, lulling him to sleep. He raised an eyebrow in worry ; his forehead was quite hot, almost feverishly so. He promised himself he would tell Leader about it tomorrow. With all these mysterious deaths lately, he couldn't take any chance.

Shiggy slid off the bed and landed barefooted on the cold wooden floor, making his skin crawl with goosebumps. He rummaged under the bedsheets to find his shirt, kept warm by his own sleeping body, but realized with frustration that his shorts had fallen on the floor and were now icy cold. With a resigned sigh, he put on the shirt and left the dormitory bottomless, safe for his loose cotton underpants ; at this hour of the night, even Leader would be asleep, anyway. Shiggy made his way to Natt's room (formerly Riko's), rubbing his arms to chase away the icy cold.

Even before he reached the toddlers' dormitories, Shiggy could hear the cries. They were loud and gut-wrenching, sometimes pausing for a few seconds of respite before resuming with renewed intensity. He passed by the door to the dormitories and closed it shut again - since Kiyui apparently forgot, in his hurry to wake him up - but not before offering a reassuring wave to the youngsters moaning in annoyance and turning sleeplessly in their bed. Then he made for the whining door and knocked.

"Natt? Natt, it's me. Are you okay in there?" He said softly through the door.

The sobs quieted long enough for a strangled voice to answer him. "Go away, Shiggy. I just wanna be alone ..." Shiggy heard a wet snort, and checked his pocket instinctively for a handkerchief, his hand landing on his bare thigh instead.

"Natt, I'm sorry, but you're being too noisy. You woke up Kiyui and the other ones ..."  Shiggy tried to reason, for the third time this week. Of course, this fell on deaf ears. "... I'm coming in, alright?" He knew the door would be open - Riko had never been allowed a lock, after all.

The door creaked open, and despite his irritation, Shiggy felt his chest tighten with sympathy at the sight. Natt was sitting against a wall in his pajamas, hugging in his arms a mishappen and tear-stained bundle of Riko's clothes ; his eyes were red and puffy and snot oozed freely from his nose, coating his upper lip and drawing translucent strings between the clothes and his face. His mouth was stuck in an ugly grimace, and when he saw Shiggy  in the doorframe, he buried his face in the clothes in shame.

"I told you to go away ..." He whined defeatedly, his voice muffled. "I can't be seen like ... like this ..."

Shiggy awkwardly scratched the back of his head, sharing some of his best friend's embarrassment. Natt had never liked to show weakness, but Riko's departure had broken him utterly, and though it was not quite comparable to the pain of his heartbreak, Shiggy reasoned he must have been hating feeling so impotent in the face of sorrow, he whose life had been almost nothing but hardships so far. Shiggy had of course tried everything he could think of to comfort him, but he was out of ideas and with every passing day, Natt's situation seemed to grow more serious as he lost himself in grief. First, he had insisted to be given Riko's room, and now the clothes-sniffing ...

"Come on, Natt, you know I can't leave you like that, you're my best friend!" Shiggy shook his head, and walked next to the boy, kneeling next to him and trying to pull him away from the ball of clothing. Natt struggled weakly, but eventually he let go and they scattered over the floor. With a plaintive whine, he became still, his chin resting on his shoulder and his closed eyes welling up with tears again.

"There, there." Shiggy said, grabbing a nearby rag he hoped did not smell like Riko and wiping Natt's face with it. It became soaked in a matter of seconds, forcing him to look for another one. "It's hard for us too, you know. I miss hearing about her wild theories, and Kiyui has been looking gloomy these days ... even Leader seems sterner, somehow." He chuckled at the thought, but the quip did not faze Natt.

The two boys stayed silent for a while, safe for the occasional sniffle which caused Shiggy to diligently dry Natt's nose, again and again. His hand was sticky with mucous but he was happy to make the moment last, and was hoping the orphans could finally fall asleep in that window of respite.

"It's not the same ..." Natt mumbled finally, his voice still a bit strangled from the tears in his throat. "To me, Riko, she was ... she was ..." Again, he did not find the strength to utter the words, and the realization made his eyes water anew. The boy's lips quivered with embarrassment.

Shiggy let out a weary sigh, and pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Special, yes." Natt looked at him with wide eyes, and Shiggy rolled his. "Oh come on Natt! It was obvious to everyone but her. But ... You know how she is! To her, the only thing that matters is the Abyss, nothing more, nothing less. You know that she doesn't think about boys the way you think about girls." With a smirk, he added: "I mean, look at what she did to Reg!"

Natt lowered his eyes in defeat, his shoulders slumping. He knew indeed Shiggy was right, and felt foolish. "I know ... But ... But ... It kills me that she'll never. I was a coward." His voice turned back into a cry, and he buried his head in the crook of his elbow, muffling himself.

Shiggy started patting his back fraternally, nodding solemnly. He was starting to understand, at last ; it was not only the separation that pained Natt, but the lack of closure. His first love would remain indefinitely in suspension, like a wound that never heals. Still, what could be done? The Abyss is a one-way trip in many ways.

"But, Natt!" He said, growing a bit exasperated. "You have to let go, one way or another. She's not coming back, you can't cry yourself to death just because you couldn't say these words before she left. Besides, you two are connected by the Abyss." Shiggy added, suddenly feeling inspired, taking the boy's head within his hands and forcing him to look him in th eyes. "So she feels your love everyday, I'm sure, even though she's too much of a dummy to figure it out. Right?"

Shiggy smiled warmly, his fingers gently massaging the back of the boy's head under his hair. Natt looked like he had calmed down a bit ... Surely his well-chosen words had had some impact.

"Y-yeah ... I guess that's true." Natt nodded, but his newfound smile quickly faltered and within seconds he looked about to burst in tears again. "But ... but I wanted to tell her SO MUCH ... I-I-I can't take it, Shiggy ..." He whined, hugging the boy's chest and soaking his shirt with warm tears. "Y-you need to do something for me ..." He muttered between sobs.

"Anything for you, Natt." Shiggy answered sincerely, but with a tinge of impatience.

"I ... I need you to be Riko for me." Natt rose his head, looking at Shiggy and clutching his shirt within his fists. "Please ... so I can tell her the stuff I couldn't ..." His fists tightened around the fabric, pulling it downward and exposing Shiggy's collarbone.

Shiggy's cheeks turned crimson. He knew for certain that, whatever Natt meant by that, he was completely serious about it ; but he couldn't tell what exactly the deluded boy would be asking of him. "W-what the hell, Natt? Don't say crazy things like that, I can't be Riko. She's kinda, uh, "unique" and I'm not even a girl."

"I'm not stupid!" Natt wailed, pulling on the shirt harder and making some seams tear. "I know that, but just ... pretend to be for a few minutes, okay? Please ..." He snorted, making snot retract into his nostrils. "Just so I can ..." His voice broke.

"Alright, alright! Please, Natt, calm down." Shiggy said urgently, feeling panic rise as well. "You just want to say the words, right? That's fine, but please, you're hurting me." He swatted away the boy's hand and shuffled backwards. The stone floor felt cold on his buttocks, protected only by thin underwear. "Just ... close your eyes and pretend I'm her, I guess." He shrugged. "I can try to mimic her voice, but frankly, I can't promise anything. I'm not a Nakikabane ..."

"Nuuuuuh. That won't do." Natt vehemently shook his head and dried his tears on his own pajama shirt, before rummaging through the pile of clothes, much to Shiggy's apprehension. But even his worst fears paled in comparison to what Natt came up with.

"N-Natt ... What the hell is that ..." He stammered, pointing at what looked like a dead hair animal with a trembling finger. "Th-that's not Riko's!"

"I don't know what it's called, but it's fake hair!" Natt answered with frightening enthusiasm, running the long strands through his finger. "Look, you put your head in here ..." He turned the wig over to display the netting. "I found it in Leader's room after he came back from the Seeker Camp."

Shiggy swallowed nervously. This was going a bit too far, and too fast. But he had promised he would help ... And judging from what was happening here, Natt needed that help more than anything. At the end of the day, it was just a disguise, it's not anything he hadn't done before.

"Sure, Natt. I already got the glasses, right?" He forced a smile and stood up, walked towards his friend and retrieved the wig. To his surprise, it felt incredibly soft in his fingers, softer than Riko's perpetually coarse and dirty hair even. Shiggy found himself combing his fingers through it in awe for a few more seconds than necessary, but eventually regained his composure and awkwardly stretched the netting over his head. Hair fell over his face and nose, tickling him and making him want to sneeze. "Natt, I can't - I can't see."

"It's backwards. Here, let me help ..." Natt reached for Shiggy's face, looking at the place where the netting met the skin. The two boys fumbled together for a few seconds, with Shiggy protesting he could do it on his own, until evenually it fell just right. "Woah ..."

Natt blinked in disbelief, and with the tip of his fingers, pushed aside a strand of blonde hair that was trapped behind Shiggy's glasses. He could barely recognize his friend : the wig seemed to emphasize certain feminine traits he had never noticed before. The boy's big round eyes, magnified by the glasses, suddenly looked even prettier with hair partially obscuring them ; the paleness of his flushed skin was made even more obvious by the now lighter hair, and though they were only that way due to embarrassment, Shiggy's poutier lips looked delightfully ... kissable.

"Natt? Natt, you're looking at me very weird." Shiggy cringed, and looked to the side, unable to sustain his friend's ravenous stare. When Natt leant forward, pursing his lips, Shiggy shoved him backwards, making the boy fall on his ass. "Natt! Come on, snap out of it!" He cried out.

"Ouch ..." Natt moaned, rubbing his tailbone. "Sorry, Shiggy. It's just ... you're very pretty like that, you know." He blushed, smiling for the first time in days. "You really remind me of her ... I think it's working."

Despite his embarrassment, Shiggy felt a spark of happiness. "I-is it, really? Hah ... I'm glad." He had missed seeing Natt's once-perpetual grin, and doing this was a very small price to pay to restore it. This he could get through. "Okay, then, what's next?"

"What's next ..." Natt echoed distractedly, struggling not to stare at Shiggy's face. He shook himself back awake and crawled back to the pile of clothes, hesitating for a few minutes before choosing one of Riko's old white dresses, so worn it was almost transparent, and a pair of frilly panties.

"No. No freaking way." Shiggy shook his head. "Not the panties, not after what she did to them every time she ate something gross." He was prepared to hear Natt protest, maybe even cry, but thankfully he seemed to understand and dropped them back in the pile with a grimace.

Shiggy took the dress and looked at it. He had seen Riko wear it so many times, yet, in his hands, it looked so unfamiliar ; he ran his fingers over it, feeling how smooth it was despite the low quality of the fabric, from having rubbed against Riko's body for years. Tentatively, he brought it to his nose and took a deep breath. The smell was definitely hers, and this made his heart ache slightly. He could only imagine how Natt felt, breathing in the ghost of her smells all day long. No wonder the poor boy was breaking down. He sighed, and lifted the dress over his head, aiming for the holes with his arm upwards.

"Shiggy, wait! You're still wearing your shirt." Natt stopped him, grabbing his arm. "Riko's arms and shoulders were always bare ... you know that ..." He said, somewhat accusatorily.

"Fine." Shiggy conceded after a few seconds, and he handed the dress back to Natt. He grabbed at the collar of his shirt, stretching the already loosened fabric so he could comfortably fit his head through without risking to make his glasses fall, and pulled it over his head, unveiling first his flat stomach, the navel outlined by very thin black hair that crawled down to his groin, then his bony ribs, and finally his chest where, much to his embarrassment, his pink nipples had grown quite stiff from cold. "Brrr." The boy shivered, his skin covering in goosebumps. "Natt! Come on, stop staring." He snatched the dress from the star-struck boy. "You've seen me shirtless before ..."

"Huh? R-right. Sorry, sorry. It's just like ... when she's hanging naked." His eyes traveled downwards to Shiggy's groin. "I, geez, sorry Shiggy." He apologized again, bowing. "I know this is weird. Please, just ... give me this, okay? You're my best friend." Natt's voice broke again, and he seized Shiggy's hand in his.

"I will! Just calm down, alright?" Shiggy sighed, readjusting his glasses. "Here goes nothing." He thought, and after taking a few seconds to figure out the correct way to do so, he stepped into the dress and pulled it up. The fabric was tight around his waist but he eventually slipped through, albeit with a slightly worrying ripping sound. Then, Shiggy slid his arms inside the holes one at a time, finding himself surprised how easy and frighteningly natural it felt. Unable to resist his curiosity, Shiggy glanced at the mirror, and his jaw almost dropped.

For a split second, he really saw Riko. A slightly broader Riko, with dark eyebrows nonetheless, but the illusion was almost believable. Forgetting all shame for a moment, Shiggy turned sideways and around, inspecting himself under every angle. With great relief, he saw the illusion was crumbling rapidly before his eyes. He didn't have Riko's budding breasts, though his erect nipples poked embarrassingly through the stretched fabric ; the proportions were all wrong, his longer legs making the dress end halfway through his thighs, and the outline of his crotch was strikingly apparent. Despite his shame, Shiggy laughed at the absurdity of the situation, and turned to Natt. "Well, sorry, Natt, I tried, but I guess you'll - "

Shiggy's words died in his mouth on the spot. What Natt was looking at him with was definitely not amusement.

"Shig- I mean, R-Riko ..." Natt stuttered, tears of joy welling in his eyes. His lips trembled feverishly, unsure whether to laugh or cry. "R-Riko, I know it's not you but - oh my, it's so perfect. Please, you have to let me do it, please, Riko ..." The boy fell to his knees, clutching Shiggy's dress at the waist, dangerously close to his groin.

Shiggy felt his blood freeze in his veins. "What the hell is happening? How can he see Riko in ... this?" He thought panickedly, giving the mirror another glance. But he knew that whether he liked it or not, it was happening, and he could not betray his best friend by refusing to play along. Not now that he was so vulnerable, so fragile, so eager.

"A-Alright, Natt! I'm here, I'm here." The boy knelt also, taking Natt's hands off the dress and into his. They were incredibly warm, compared to his. "That's me, Riko." He forced a smile, but found it genuine. "Come on, is there something you want to say to me, mhhh?"

"Waaaah ... Riko ..." Natt sniffled, tears flowing freely from his eyes. "Look, I ... I ..." He swallowed wetly, not daring to look at her anymore.

"Natt! Come on, say it ..." Shiggy urged him gently, feeling himself tear up a little too from raw emotion. "I'm still here, see? I'm not going anywhere until you say it, Natt ..."

With tremendous effort, Natt lifted his eyes to meet Riko's, and reached for her face, placing his hands on either side of her cheeks. Riko flinched slightly, but her smile barely faltered, and she was still here. "Riko, it's ..." He exhaled through his nose, low-hanging snot swinging from it. "I-it's no use, I ..."

"Natt! Natt, look at me, you can do it." Shiggy repeated, this time louder. He lifted a corner of his dress to dry Natt's nose and eyes, baring his stomach and undies without realizing it. "Please, Natt, I need to hear it too."

"Y-you do?" The boy whimpered in hope. His hands slid off Riko's cheeks, and landed on her shoulders. Leaning his head forward, he rested his forehead against Riko's for a moment, and then looked back at her with eyes veiled with tears, but shining with determination. "Riko ... I ..." He gasped, almost choking on his own words, but a furtive caress on his cheek pulled him together. "I ... love you ..." With these words, he fell against Riko's chest, hugging her tight enough for her to remain here forever, or so was the intent.

Both boys remained still for what felt like hours, tightly embraced. While Shiggy stroked the gently sobbing Natt's hair, his mind raced. What now? Should he say something? He knew Riko didn't love Natt, and he couldn't bring himself to lie by returning the confession, roleplaying or not. For the first time in his young life, Shiggy felt completely at loss.

Eventually, Natt started fidgeting, and so Shiggy relaxed his arms, allowing the boy to break free. His eyes were red and puffy, but he had a thin smile on his face that warmed Shiggy's heart. He took a long look at his friend, before his eyes shied away with embarrassment.

"I guess you're right ..." Natt murmured. "It looks kind of silly, now ..."

Shiggy grinned, and put a hand on Natt's shoulder, this time without hesitation, a friendly gesture. "That's okay. You're feeling better, right? That's what matters."

Natt nodded slowly. He still felt sad, but that was a sadness he could live with. A sadness he knew he would eventually cherish as a precious memory. He took a deep breath, finding it easier than before, as if a weight had literally been lifted off him. "Yeah ... I do. I think I'll be okay. And I think that she is, too."

"I think so too." Shiggy said. "She's got Reg with her. And her Mom' stuff. And ..."

They fell silent. They could hear something ; a steady thumping noise, coming closer and closer ... Before they could even react, the door flew open, and Leader was standing in the door frame, his arms crossed and his icy blue eyes staring sternly at the two. Natt swallowed nervously, and Shiggy turned pale as a corpse. No one could say anything.

"It's late. You should be sleeping right now." Leader said flatly. The boys nodded mechanically, almost feeling their spine creak as they did so. "And YOU." His eyes moved to Shiggy, who almost died on the spot. "You're putting that back where you found it."

~