VLC copypasta

Gentlemen, I like VLC.

Gentlemen, I love VLC!

I like AVI, I like RMVB.

I like 120fps, I like interlacing.

I like rainbowing, I like the dot crawl, I like blocking.

I like the ringing, and I like tinny audio.

On a computer, a DVD player, a PS3, on a Mac, on an Archos. I truly love each and every kind of artifact man can encode to a file.

I like the broken ASS support when even the simplest of lines fails to render correctly. When the translator’s notes overlap the main dialogue, it makes my heart dance!

I like when an encode displays like it is corrupted! It always left a warm feeling in my chest when they would check the CRC, only to find it is correct.

I like it when #darkhold encoders post on AnimeSuki and rage about the topic at hand. I recall how much it moved me, seeing how epic longposts were made - how they would shun the subject again and again, even though it wouldn’t die. And it’s painfully exciting when a leecher posts about how great it is in the same thread. And how wonderful it is to have 120fps for a show that is a constant 23.976!

And that pitiful resistance, encoding to h264, despite it being harder on the CPU. I even remember when Xvid had a 10:1 leecher ratio!

I like it when the MKV fanboys are thrown into chaos. And when the VFR feature they are supposed to be promoting is violated repeatedly… oh how very sad it is.

I like it when the detail and sharpness in HD encodes are crushed and obliterated! And them being filtered, smearing and ghosting and looking worse than a standard DVD. Gentlemen, what I want is a low bitrate hell.

Gentlemen, my compatriots…

Leechers, you who abuse my XDCC bots…

Gentlemen, what do you desire? Do you also want eyecancer? Is a return to the age of VCDs what you want?

Do you yearn for a VHS encode that stretches the very limits of poor quality, the artifacts so intense that it makes Stevie Wonder cringe?

Very well then, we shall have VLC.