Copyastas

Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros. The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself. If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this. This is my story.

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling

DO IT, just DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just. DO IT! Make. your dreams. COME TRUE! Just… do it! Some people dream of success, while you’re gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you’re not gonna stop there. NO! What are you waiting for? … DO IT! Just… DO IT! Yes you can! Just do it! If you’re tired of starting over, stop. giving. up.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

˙ʇı ןןɐɔ noʎ ɹǝʌǝʇɐɥʍ ɹo ,ɐʇǝq, pǝɹǝpısuoɔ buıǝq ɟo ʞɔıs ɯ,ı ˙ʇı ʇnoqɐ ʎɹɔ oʇ ǝɯ oʇ ʞןɐʇ ʎןuo puɐ ‘ʇıɥs ǝʞıן ɯǝɥʇ ʇɐǝɹʇ oɥʍ sʎnb bɐqǝɥɔnop ɹǝʇɟɐ ob sʎɐʍןɐ sןɹıb ǝsǝɥʇ puǝ ǝɥʇ uı ˙ʎpɐן,ɯ ɹoɟ buıɥʇʎuɐ op pןnoʍ puɐ ‘qoظ ǝɔıu ɐ ʞɹoʍ ‘ʎnb ǝɔıu ɐ ɯ,ı ˙ǝuoz puǝıɹɟ ǝɥʇ uı ʇnd buıǝq sʎɐʍןɐ ı ɯɐ ʎɥʍ

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I’m str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can’t w8. We should convers8, I won’t ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don’t hesit8

hi mi name es giorgio i woerk in potatoe faktory and since mi padre died in a donkey waggon accident i leav mi wife and ugli daughter to become a pro leagueue of leyendaerio player, everydai i watch rainamndio. i just wante to sai thank you veriyi much rauinmanio i improvd from bronce 5 to wood 7 in just 6 months. plz no copato pasterato dis is onli my life. i ALso killed mi dog. Sorry fo mi bad englando im not NA

Hello, my name is Juan Pastoroni, CEO of Copy Pasta Industries. I’d like to let you know that we’ve just gained copyrights on a lot of copy pasta seen in this chat. If you are using them right now, please refrain from doing so, or risk being fined under copyright infringement. Thank you, and don’t be funny and copy and paste this. This is business, kid.

<:::::[]=ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ I am a Knight from the Order of Cut Pasta. I am sworn to slicerino all Copy Pasta, my enemy by oath. I shall do battle with this Demon, stand back and have no fear Moderino. To this most foul manifestation of Copy Pasta, retreat sour beast or taste my blade in combat. <:::::[]=༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

So I have a story to share with your guys mainly with "Minecraft Players". I was playing Minecraft as usual, but one day I played on my oldest map. The map was like 3 years old now. Anyway I just started playing there only, because I was curious, what I have builded there. So it wasn't something creepy, it was just a regular noob world. Little ugly house, fences, flowers, water, big long glass for windows. Nothing wrong! Well my Minecraft got black for like 1 and half sec and it was normal after. It was a bit strange, because my MC never made something like that. And it happened again, but this time it was faster and colors of everything got in a solid color for like 2 sec. After that it get normal again. I was so scared so I forgot to leave the world... that was a big mistake. The screen made the same thing again (going black and everything gets a solid color) and then a player/??? was in front of me. I wanted to quit Minecraft, but ESC wasn't working. Then he/she/it turned around and... MC crashed. I uninstalled MC as fast as I can. After like 3 days I realized, there is a note in my desktop called "shitpost". I will never call my notes randomly, I'm not this type of person and no one except of me is using my PC. I opened the note and the only thing I saw was "I was watching you. Why you left me? Are you scared? Come back! shitpost shitpost shitpost". I still didn't report this to Mojang, because I'm pretty sure they will never move a finger for this type of things.

High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."

Chinese, Italian, Thai or Jamaican.
Mexican, Egyptian, English, Korean.
Anything goes, even Hawaiian.
Anything goes, even Alaskan.

The thing I really like about Planes is that we learn that WWII happened in the Cars universe. Which means there was a Cars Hitler, a Cars holocaust, a Cars Pacific War, a Cars D-Day, a Cars nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a Cars Rape of Nanking, a Cars Battle of Iwo Jima...
This leads to so many important questions, like: were the Cars Little Boy and Fat Man nukes sentient? Was it a suicide mission? Are ALL Cars nuclear weapons sentient? Did Tsar Bomba have a personality?
What kind of car was Car Hitler? A VW? A forklift?
Was there a Cars 9/11? Were the planes hijacked, or were the planes themselves radicalized?
I could go on.

All ROBLOX players have seen those games with the word "roleplay" in the title. Have any of you joined one of those games, only to have no idea about what's going on? This article will explain the art of roleplaying on ROBLOX to you.

Go fuck yourself with Mega. Accept Onedrive because it is not shit and with Office 365 I get 1TB of extra storage.

I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

Now its' calling me a camels ass! What are you people' selling there! I'm gonna to turn that into Fludgecow mart when I get through with you! This thing is starting to scare the hell out of me! It just told me to die, die, die! Now it's threatening to spit acid into my eyes and blind me! I think should I call the police??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE A MANAGER! I think I'm going to call the bomb disposal unit, and have them take this damn thing away! Now it's threatening me with sexually transmitted diseases! Oh right! What the hell is going is this some kind of joke! If this is your idea of a joke, I'm going to sue your ass off personally too! You're going to be living in a street pushing a shopping cart in about 3 weeks! Now it's threatening to shoot me with a gun! ITS' GOT A GUN! IT'S GOT A GUN!

Oh thank god you answered; let me speak to the toy department! Yes I've got an emergency! Oh thank god you've answered! Is this the toy department? I have an emergency! I'm calling about Furby! No! I'm not calling because I need the Furby; I'm calling because I have a defective Furby, it's spitting all kinds of violent words at me! I'm a sir! My name is Milton; I bought little Furby for my 14 year old boy Chauncey, he's 493 pounds, and I promised that I would get him a Furby if he dropped 25 pounds. He's down from 520 you know! Listen to this Furby! I'm gonna put the phone next to the Furby right now! It's making all kinds of demonic noises and its making all kinds of cursing and gestures at me! Did you hear that? It said it was gonna kill me! Did you hear oh hold on it's talking again! Now it's using profanity! Did you hear that! Where is this coming from; I think we're looking at a lawsuit here! I'm from my house right now. DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT!? It said it was going to kill my mommy with an axe! What kind of crap are you people' selling over there! Oh! It's talking again! LISTEN TO THAT! How can.... It just said it smokes crack! Little Furby here is promoting drug use! Yes, Put your manager on the phone immediately because I'm calling a lawyer next! Yes! Yes is this the manager? Is this a decision making manager or a patsy for the higher-ups! I have a defective Furby that I purchased from you guys, it's spitting out all kinds of vulgar and demonic phrases, and I'm about to call a lawyer to sue your ass off! I bought it from your store here... Now its making the Exorcist noises! Hang on. Hang on; Let me... let me shake it a little bit to see if I can get it to talk. Did you hear that! Yes I am it just called me a whore did you hear that! Hold, listen...

Can you imagine a world where we're all represented by a font? Huh, I wonder which one I would be? sees Arial Too straight. No! Not in that way! Just, straight, as in unexciting. sees Badaboom Too.. uh... Deadpool.... BROADWAY! Now that's the one! Now THAT'S the one! Hello Internet, welcome to GAME THEORY, where instead of putting a joke here I want to ask you a question. If your personality were represented by a font, what font would you be? Take a moment and put your font in the comments. I'm really curious to see what everyone has to say. Maybe find a couple new cool fonts to use. I'm getting bored with ol' Calibri 11. And with that out of the way, it's time to talk UNDERTALE. Now I don't think I've ever gotten this many requests to cover a game. Well, except for FNAF. And I suppose FNAF 2. OH and there was FNAF 3. Wait a minute, should I be worried about something here? Anyway, across the board on YouTube, Reddit, and Twitter, you all have wanted Undertale. And honestly, I'm glad you brought it to my attention. True loyal theorists will know that Earthbound is my favorite game of all time. So a self aware RPG in a similar style, WHOA MAN, it's like a gift from the indie gaming heavens. Undertale is a game where every character, from goat mom to grind fodder has a sympathetic design and a unique personality, motivations, goals, fears. Whether you're saving or slaughtering them, the game makes you feel something every time you enter an encounter. But to me, one character stood out amongst all the rest. SANS. A skeleton named after the font, Comic Sans, hence all the font references at the beginning of the episode. If you haven't played Undertale I'm sure that was a really weird opening. ANYWAYS, Sans is, well, there's a lot of mystery around this guy.

My teacher said to me I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what was so funny, that my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I said as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class was shocked, they merely watched pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Its simple, my child...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One other student laughed in the back, I turned to see a who this fellow genius is. It was none other than Albert Einstein.

If you ever dab, you are a literal racist. Do you even know what dab means? It means "Destroy All Blacks", you sociopaths. None of you I bet even know what the origin of dab is. It was first created by Nazis back in the Second World War, where they would use dabs to identify each other from the enemy military, as to prevent any spies. After the war ended, the founder of KKK started using it as a secret handshake to greet individual members of the clan, and as a way of honoring and remembering Hitler. Now you know how malicious this trend really is, whenever you dab, not only do you support racism, but you also support anti-semitism and homophobia. Do you want people to spread evil messages like this to our children and brainwash them? Think of the children.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. joy And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the length and girth of Elliot Rodger's penis. The length is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of his dick most of the cumshots will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Elliot Rodger's girth, which is deftly woven into his oversized and throbbing dick - his personal penis draws heavily from thot puss, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these penetrations, to realize that they're not just hot af- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike the length and girth of Elliot Rodger's penis truly ARE autistic- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Elliot Rodger's existencial catchphrase "He was my comrade in virginity," which itself is a cryptic reference to how Elliot blew tonnes of thots the actual fuck out. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Elliot Rodger's dick unzips itself. What fucking normies... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a tattoo of Elliot's face on my scrote. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

Too far, you bully! How dare you call someone such a horrid name. I’ll have you know, I’ve been playing Minecraft for 4 years and have over 7,000+ hours on ONE server. So you go and call someone a meanie, while at this moment I’m currently at your base with 8 stacks of TNT. Your house will be gone, and all your valuables will be mine. And how do I know the server? I hacked your Minecraft account and stole the server IP with my mad hacker skills. You don’t know what’s coming, for the storm has just started to rise. I got here on a pig, without a carrot on a stick. How? Hours of experience. I trained with Notch for months. He taught me all the Minecraft secrets and how to code java, so if you DARE to challenge me, I will 1v1 u and destroy you. How can u dare challenge Im a god when you are a mere man. It’s like jesus fighting a coakroach. He will always win. So, don’t bully, scrub.

I'm 13 and I can tell Rick and Morty isn't a TV show for little babies. It's full of gore, sexual refferences, and heavy topics. It's banned in one of the most violent, and horrific countries: Germany. They killed millions of jews in World War 1. That cartoon is too violent for them, genociders. Rick and Morty is the perfect comedy series, and if you don't like it, you are retarded, bullied, 8 year old scared of everything. Honestly, do society a favor and kill yourself, you stupid handicapped twat. WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB MOTHERFUCKER!

Aiiii, I haven't done this since I was a sailor, boy." said as he smiled. "Please , I want you." That was enough to get the old crab going. Eugene took of his clothes as Spongebob placed his spongy, yellow lips on the crab's red, hard cock. He took him in fully, and sucked him off like his life depended on it. The old crab was speechless, this little nerdy, yellow guy was a pro, he wasn't fucking around he was getting shit done, so before ' euphoria got out of hand, he pulled away and manhandled the sponge. Bob was now on his stomach, ass in the air, stroking himself as Eugene removed the rest of his clothing. Krabs stared at the cute, little, yellow ass that was in front of him, waiting to be filled with his sex. "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!" Spongebob said progressively louder. was snapped out of his appreciation for that ass and slammed into the Sponge, not concerning himself with hurting him. "Ah, f-f-faster!" Spongebob yelled as Eugene picked up the pace. Suddenly the door opened and Squidward entered. That didn't stop though, he kept slamming into the happy little sponge, then suddenly Squidward became painfully aware that, he himself, wasn't wearing any pants. "Want to-a-a-a-join us?" Said the sponge as his ass was being destroyed. Squidward had no second thoughts, his erection suddenly became visible as he raced towards spongebob and slammed his cock in his mouth, showing no mercy to Spongebob. Bob was having the time of his life, being filled from both ends, on one end his crush, and on the other his fuck buddy. He loved it. Eugene was picking up the speed and slamming in harder each time. He began hitting Spongebob's spongy little prostate with his cock, sending shocks of pleasure to the sponge. The temperature was rising, their bodies were sweating and they all became one giant ball of sex, kept hitting Spongebob right where he needed and the Sponge kept working his magic on the Squid. Soon enough, they were all painfully close.

C'mon Sega! Why the fuck haven't we gotten Mean Bean Machine 2?! What the fuck are you doing?! Sega, you are so shit. You made shitty games like Sonic 06 and Sonic Boom, and then you put Mean Bean Machine as a boss in mania! That was cool! But you have to be smart enough to know the humour of Adventures of sonic the Hedgehog, Robotnik wants you to understand his humour. In mean bean machine, Robotnik has this humour. You made Puyo Puyo Tetris but why in Sam hill didn't Robotnik and his sexy goons get in the game? That would have been good fap material Sega! But sega, you being dumb shits, didn't add him! What the fuck is wrong with you Sega? I'm going to Do you and send you Robotnik nudes until you announce mean bean machine 2! Fuck you Sega!! Fuck you!

I hope they know that I'm being completely serious and I dab like a fucking pro. I learned from only the masters who have graduated college by only their pure will to dab. I come from an elite family of assassins who will stop at nothing to make sure anyone who dabs incorrectly will, in fact, be eliminated. There are no obstacles, nothing at all in my way to bring the Dab Queen. No, not a Trap Queen, not a Drag Queen, but the highest rank of all, the Dab Queen. I can end your life with a swift movement of my dab, and that's not a prank. You think you're original with your 'dank memes' and 'Peep' jokes? Well, you've been proven wrong by me, and only me, the Dab Pro. Not everyone can meet my price when it comes to my hitdab service, and the lowest amount of money I will take is $89,627.34. Those who have stepped up and paid me to eliminate someone with the power of pushing my delicate forehead into my powerful elbow were never dissatisfied with my work. I always bring their life to an end with no more than a single dab.

What on Mobius did you just say about THE GREAT DR.ROBOTNIK you little rodent? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in King Acorn’s war soldiers, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Sir Charles’ Roboticizer, and I have over 300 confirmed robot slaves. I am trained in metallic warfare and I’m the top ruler of the Doomsday project. You are nothing to me but just another citizen. I will roboticize you the hell out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet, mark my metallic words. You think you can get away with saying that garbage to me over the transmission system? Think again, little freedom fighter. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of swatbots across Robotropolis and your spy gear is being traced right now so you better prepare for the roboticization, scum. The roboticization that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your free will. You’re enslaved, rodent. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my cold metallic heart. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Robotropolis’ technology system and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the planet, you little pincushion. If only you could have known what dumb retribution your little “clever” remark was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you pathetic little rodent. I will throw bolts all over you and you will drown in them. You’re destroyed, Snively.

I had a nice car seat. It cradled my butt nicely. I had dirty thoughts about the car. I told it about my thoughts, it honked in response. I took it as a yes and took off my pants and shirt. And rubbed the stick shift on my vagina. "This feels sooo good" I moved my panties aside and dropped onto the stick shift. "AGGGGHHH" I screamed as the car took my virginity, it felt so good. I grinded my vagina on the stick shift until I came, I screamed out but it was silenced by the walls of the car. I started bouncing on the stick shift as I felt the heat rise in my stomach. I released the pleasure with a burst of cum. The car honked loudly with pleasure. I put my clothes back on and cleaned the car. We both loved it. But I loved it more.

AT LEAST I DON'T SPEND MY TIME SUCKING DICKS IN THE BATHROOM AT OLIVE GARDEN. YOU DIRTY LOWDOWN SLIMY FILTHY DISGUSTING GLUTTONOUS HOGLIKE MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING SON OF AN INCESTUOUS PEDOPHILE SHEMALE RAPIST PROSTITUTE. GET YOUR MOM'S DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? I'M GONNA SHIT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS. STOP FOR A MOMENT AND REALLY GRASP THAT STATEMENT. I AM LITERALLY GOING TO SHIT UP YOUR ASS. I WILL TAKE MY PANTS OFF, RIP YOUR PANTS OFF, OUR SPHINCTERS WILL TOUCH, AND I WILL SHIT. YOU WILL TRY TO COUNTERSHIT. BUT MY SPHINCTER WILL OVERCOME. AND I WILL PUSH A LOG OF SHIT FROM MY ASS UP INTO YOUR BODY. THIS IS WHAT SHALL OCCUR WHEN I FIND YOUR KEYBOARD FUCKING FACE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I WILL PISS INTO A POT. I WILL ADD CORNSTARCH TO THE PISS AND BOIL IT UNTIL IT GETS REALLY THICK, LIKE SAUCE. I WILL POUR THE THICKENED PISS INTO A PLASTIC CONTAINER AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE UNTIL IT HARDENS INTO A FIRM JELLO. THEN I WILL THEN CUT IT INTO RECTANGLES. BATTER IT IN A MIX OF MILK, FLOUR, AND EGGS. AND DEEP FRY IT AT 375 UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN, FLIPPING ONCE SINCE THEY FLOAT. AND I WILL SERVE YOU MY DEEP FRIED PISS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING SUCH A FAGGOT. COCKMUFFIN.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of italian culture, most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Mario's adventuristic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Plumbing literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Mario and Luigi truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Luigi's existencial catchphrase "That’s Mama Luigi to you, Mario," which itself is a cryptic reference to Nintendo’s Super Mario World.I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Riba's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. joy And yes by the way, I DO have a Mario and Luigi tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

As NickyP grabs his usb Samdisk yells "please stop it hurts" as NickyP inserts his usb into usb loader gx, "Don't do that you will burn your games into me" Samdisk yells, "I can't resist" NickyP yells as he burns Mario Kart Wii into him.

ok so I am ultimately PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW because my STUPID INSENSITIVE BIGOT OF A SCIENCE TEACHER WON'T COVER THE SKELETON IN OUR CLASSROOM!!!!
Ive told him THOUSANDS of TIMES that I have severe anxiety from sans and Ive actually developed ptsd from the sans fight and I have to carry around an Inhaler everywhere I go now because when I see bones or the color blue I start hyperventilating because of panic then If I don‘t take my inhaIer It turns Into a ptsd episode and I already had to be sent home 3 TIMES BECAUSE THE SKELETON IN MY SCIENCE CLASS TRIGGERED ME!!!!! AND HE WON'T COVER IT!!!!!!!!!
like??? I don‘t know what to do Ive tried talking about It to the counselor but they said my condition Isnt real??? Iike um YEAH IT IS??? I would know?????? cause I wake up screaming and In tears each night because I have a reaccuring nIghtmare where SANS TELLS ME IM GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME THEN HAS THE FUCKING DECENCY TO TELL ME I’VE DIED TEN TIMES AND THAT I HAVE NO FRIENDS!!! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS ME????????
and I just PISSES ME OFF how the school doesn‘t even CARE THAT I AM ON THE BRINK OF ODING BECAUSE OF THIS!!!

I got a free Furby from an alley one day. I thought the Furby looked shady, but I went to my house anyways to check it out. I put the batteries in, and nothing happened. One night, I was sleeping with my Furby. It got up, went to the freezer, then shut the freezer, cooked something, and grabbed a knife. I woke up early, when suddenly, the Furby was holding a knife. I saw it cutting pizza, then I went to sleep.

but what if you are a sociologically fucked aspergic 16 year old academic neet who has diagnosed anxiety/depression and is basicaly borderline apathetic and has basically had a stamp on them since day 1 saying "lol nah" when it comes to basically any achievement as you have dyscalculia (maths dyslexia) which basically cripples you of 9 out of 10 job opportunities and you have tried literally every single fucking method to improve yourself and be a average human being and literally nothing has worked to the point where nothing apart from ironic memeing and living the NEET? life matters my nig SmugPepe.

ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠᶦⁿᵍ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ᵃˢ ᵘˢᵘᵃˡ.ᴵ ᵍᵒᵗᵗᵃ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵐᵉᵃˡ.ᴳᵃʳᶠᶦᵉˡᵈ. ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵃᵗ ᶜᵃᵗ. ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ˢᵒ ᵇᶦᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶠᵃᵗ. ʷʰʸ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵒ ᶠᵃᵗ?ᴵ ᵉᵃᵗ ᴶᵒⁿ, ᶦᵗ'ˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵈᵒᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵏᶦᶜᵏ ᵒᵈᶦᵉ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵃᵇˡᵉᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵈᵒ ᶦᵗ ᵍᵃʳᶠᶦᵉˡᶠ, ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵉᵗ ᵈᵒᵍ ᵒᵈᶦᵉʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᶦⁿᵗᵒ ᵒʳᵇᶦᵗ, ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵗᵘᵖᶦᵈ ᵐᵘᵗᵗᴳᴬᴬᴬᴬᴬᴿᴿᴿᶠᴵᴵᴵᴱᴸᴰ!!!ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃ ⁿᵃᵖ.ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃ ᶜᵃᵗ ʷʰᵒ ˡᵒᵛᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ˢⁿᵒᵒᶻᵉᵍᵃʳᶠᶦᵉˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵃᶻʸ ᶜᵃᵗᴵ ʰᵃᵗᵉ ᵃˡʳᵃᵐ ᶜˡᵒᶜᵏˢᴵ'ᵐ ᵃᵐ ʰᵘⁿᵍʳʸ ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ˡᵃˢᵃᵍᵃʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵉᵃᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵘˢ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵒᵘˢᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵒᵐᵉ, ᵍᵃʳᵐᶠᶦᵉˡᵈᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵀʰᵉ ᶜʰᶦᵗ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ˡᵉᵗ'ˢ ᵍᵉᵗ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵍʳᵘᵇ ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍᴳʳᵘᵇ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ...ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ³⁻ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ ᵖᶦᶻᶻᵃˢᴵ ᵃᵗᵉ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ᶠᵒᵒᵈʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᴬʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵃᶜᵒ ˢʰᵉˡˡˢ?ᴵ ᵃᵗᵉ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ᶠᵒᵒᵈʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵈᶦᵈ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᵃᵐᵇᵘʳᵍᵉʳ ʰᵉˡᵖᵉʳ ᵍᵒ?*ᵇʳᵘᵖ*ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ˢᵘᶜʰ ᵃ ᵇᵃᵈ ᵏᶦᵗᵗʸ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᶦᵗ ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ʰᵃᵈ ᶦᵗ ʷᶦᵗʰ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᶦᵗ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵃˢᵗ ˢᵗʳᵃʷ ᵍʳᵃʳᶠᶦˡᵉˡᵈ

“please honk my sphincter daddy” Slappy the Clown immediately spurts his clown cum directly into my intestines, emitted a low pitched honk characteristic of a clown in climax. i gasp, “Wait…..Slappy…..did you just? do you really think i’m ready to have a litter yet- ahh~” i sigh as i feel his clown ovipositor sink into my guts and deposit each egg with a short honk.

When my chemistry teacher handed back my test, he said that I wad a failure, and that I would never amount to anything. "Well you see," I begin to say, my teacher smirks, awaiting whatever response he thought I was going to give him, "I watch Rick and Morty." Everyone in the classroom was shocked, even the teacher, "H-How? The subtlety of theoretical physics was too hard to understand for even the geniuses of today! How are you such an intellectual?" The teacher stammered, his face getting red and he is now noticeably worried. Initially, I say nothing and only snicker, then I make the biggest shit eating grin and shout, "hey ambi, can i have the zoo wee mama role" A student in the back of the class laughs, I look behind me to see who understands my intellectual comedy.
It was none other than Albert Einstein.

Do you know why I hate Undertale?
Because it's the best game ever made.
The graphics look like they were drawn by a 4-year-old, with the talents of Pablo Picasso in his prime.
Which is what I would've said if I liked the graphics.
Which I do.
Not.
Narratively, this game is a paragon of interactive storytelling.
Every choice you make weighs on your conscience because every connection you make with the characters feels organic.
And that's why I'm giving this game a 5/5.
BILLON, it fucking sucks.

I feel so lonely. I don't fucking have any friends who love Duckman and hate Rugrats and not caring about it at all! I'm crying because Chae Cook won't hate Rugrats when he's a Duckman fan like me. I would really like some friends who like Duckman and not Rugrats and all the USA shows that aired since Duckman's cancellation in 1997. I am miserable!

Oh, Minecrap! I cannot wait to play Minecrap. Do you know what my favorite thing to do is in Minecrap? I love building bricks with Minecrap. Building bricks with Minecrap is the best thing and the most amount of fun you can have while playing an app. I understand why all the kids are playing this game these days -- it's because they like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. I also like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. It's the most fun you can possibly have. What is the point of Minecrap?

I like shoving containers of live crickets up my ass every now and then, I fantazise them being jimminy cricket’s family that he’s looking for. Once he finds me, I make him go after them as I say if he gets them back, I’ll let them go, but no! :) I tick him into climbing inside my large gaping anus to the rescue, then he gets stuck as my anal walls churn up the inside of the containers, they break having the crickets scatter about live inside my wet hot ass, so full, so round….I use my ass muscles one last time to smash them all up into a ball of cricket guts and my own shit from inside my ass, as I blow my load. I give myself an applesauce enema and soon the ball of crickets and shit fall out onto the floor, I scoop some of the mixture up and place my tongue on it, tasting it. Sort of bitter from my shit, salty from my cum and the crickets, and sweet from the apple sauce which lays on top ever so silky and sleek.

Hello, i'm Ottomagic and I love to make commentaries out of people. I also like to fap to Rule34 art. I also made a commentary out of Logomax over da bezd chanl. I'm also a faggot friend of retards like Liam Grieg. I also said that Garrett Simmers suck ass. I even raided TR3X's old logo server. I also joined 2 of Logomax's servers just to raid, but his fuckbuddy Garrett banhammered me. I'm nothing but a shitty commentator.

this might be helpful for any niggas that are owl nhew en shit. Sup bitches. Sup bitches. It's Chad Warden here, aight? I'm talking about that PS Triple. The PS Triple. I ain't talking about that Wii. The Wii, shit. Shit, people be talking about how it's all new and shit. But you know what I'm trying to say? I'm trying to say, is that. come on now, the Wii? Come on, that little controller, that looks like a dildo. I ain't, I ain't trying to play my games with no dildo, aight? Maybe if the game is, like, WarioWare: Shove It Up Your Own Ass game. I don't know if there's any minigames where, you know, shove it up your own ass, but... Come on now, the Wii? And people trying to say that the, the PS3 should copy the Wii with the motions and... I don't give a fuck. Shit, shit, the Wii, you know what they should copy? They should copy how to get good games. They should copy how to get good games from the PS3. Everybody knows, is that, PS3 makes the best games, now I mean nigguh?

I have you know that I’m a fucking veteran at ksp, only high IQs like me can fucking launch rockets into orbit in ksp without staging problems and god damn stupid shit, so watch your fucking mouth before I download a weapons mod in ksp and send that rocket straight into your fucking rectum, you’ve been fucking warned!

Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your burger is foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With this statement, "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on. But that's even worse. The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16th in meer 20 minutes later the Burger King in question was alerted to the rouge employee. At least... I hope he's rouge. How did it happen?

Remember Protocord? Protocord was so much better. Everything was better in Protocord. Here is Protocord. If you do not remember, you did not have a childhood. You were not a real nigga. you retroactively did not exist. Remember Protegent? IT WAS A GOOD MEME! You're too new to know. IT WAS A GOOD MEME! we had Super-Why-OCs. you don't. Things were better then, now all is lost, including hope, which is dead. we had 1,500+ members, Anti-Virus mods, Prank calls every weekend, Active S_ur, M O T T Os posting images in general, Old roles, Active Dollar General, Protegent Rap, WE HAD PROTEGENT RAP. what do eggfags these days have? nothing! Protocord is over. all that's left is despair. The day Protegent died, all hope died. This generation, they don't know, they don't know. eggfags these days, eggfags these days. This generation, they don't know. They missed out.

I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! Boom! Big reveal I'm a pickle.
What do you think about that? I turned myself into a pickle! W-what are you just staring at me for, bro.
I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! And? And? What more do you want tacked on to this? I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job.
Was it? Who cares, Morty? Global acts of terrorism happen every day.
Uh, here's something that's never happened before I'm a pickle.
I'm Pickle Rick! Are you going to, I mean, you know, is this the first part of some magic trick? I don't do magic, Morty, I do science.
One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner.
Well, can you move? Can you fly? I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could.
All right, well, do pickles live forever or Morty, stop digging for hidden layers and just be impressed.
I'm a pickle.
I-I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this Why anyone would do this.
The reason anyone would do this is, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't.
Morty, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late.
Where's your grandpa? Right here, sweetie.
I'm a pickle! What?! Why would you ugh! Look, we're running late.
We have to go.
Where are you guys going? We have an appointment downtown that was set a week ago and agreed upon by everyone, including you.
Oh, my God.
Beth, oh, it totally slipped my mind.
Geez, oh, man.
I'm a pickle.

Hi neighbour, I see we're about the same age... I want to suck a cock, do you want to talk on WhatsApp?

Rocko is so fucking sexy yall my third attempt to lucid dream tonight going to summon rocko and tear his shirt off and fuck him soooo hard in his tight wallaby ass